Regret was a terrible feeling.
It held you close and whispered thousands of what-ifs into your brain as you think of what you could have done better. When you forget for just a while, you laugh and smile until it crashes down on you—the sadness and guilt of a regret.
Four could go on for days without think of it of three-fourths of a thought overpowering the rest, and then one of the others would say something. Not anything significant, just a sentence, or move their body in a certain way that sends him to those days in that keep, and it all comes rushing back.
And all he can think about is what he could have done if only he were faster-smarter-stronger. Then maybe the outcome would have been different. Perhaps they would be complete instead of missing a peace—just Four-fifths of a whole waiting for the rest to come home.
Regret is a terrible feeling but surrounded by others, and it seems to slip away.