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Dave could tell pretty fast that today was going to be out of his control with with little to no say in any shit he no doubt is going to be convinced/dragged/manhandled in to doing. In fact he could reasonably deduce this immediately after being wrenched into consciousness from the heavy weight that has suddenly collapsed on him, expelling all air out of his lungs at presumably the speed and eagerness of a really friendly Great Dane rushing to greet you, toppling you over with mad canine love and slobber. maybe. you guess… ok Dave doesn’t really know where that comparison came from cause he doesn’t know dick squat about dogs and what he is currently experiencing is really bringing images about boulders in his startled sleep-addled mind and REALLY the bubbly voice that is shrieking all up at his face that came with the impact isn’t associated with friendliness, or not at him at least. But he’ll cut himself some slack on the account he's hella disorientated, only just forced from unconsciousness and therefore has has No Clue What The Fuck Is Going On.

“DAAAVE-FISSSH waaaake UP! You're wasting the day!”  

He cough and splutter your way into awareness (like this: “ughh-fuh uhwuh?!”) as Dave register his perpetrator who is sitting on his stomach, hands splayed out on his chest with face fins flared out and grin showing off her razor sharp needle-like teeth, watching him with glee with predator intensity that she is practically vibrating of, which she definitely should not have that much of at this time of day which you suspect is probably Stupid O’Clock in the morning but treating absolutely everything, from mundane to extravagant to real creepy shit his sister proberly loves, with same amount of overdone and really excessive -E)(CITEMENT!! is a very predominant trait of Feferi’s and, if anything, has increased over time. It is about 10x more annoying than it is admirable.

“Ugh-oh Fffeferi what the fuck” Dave groans, finally regaining enough oxygen to control over your vocal cords and crack open your eyes “Like, goddamn. Seriously. The fuck are you doing, I mean first of all - well actually first of all get the fuck out of my face its not any kind of cute or creepy just straight up weird you nasty” He clumsily shove her face away while lying down, just as she opened her mouth to retort in some way startling out an indignant glub!. Then stretch and flop his arm over his face because if there isn’t any crisis needing imminent concern then she does not deserve Dave's full attention for being a little shit. “Secondly why did decide it was a good idea to slam dunk yourself on to my innocent defenseless unconscious body, like what even is the time why are you awake”

“Whale obfishally it's time to get up and GREET the day to do many FUN things in the spirit of our vaconchion and the sea! Which both involve the seaside and you can’t do any of that while you’re in the dumb human bed being totally BORING” Feferi cheerfully informs him while puncturing the last statement with a slap on the bed. Dave takes a sharp inhale and hold back a groan as it is becoming apparent she’s is in or beginning to get in THAT sort of worked up mood where she becomes energetic enough that it delves into restlessness and channels it into becoming a one-fishgirl-hurricane that likes to sweep him into hours of antagonistic clashing and barbs which have led to memorable incidents, such as being chased out of a small seaside harbor/town which involved; the rise and fall of the scallop shell economy, a persistent seagull, an convoluted game that merged I Spy, rapping and bingo, and property damage (all Feferi’s fault-summoning your eldritch squid mom/lusus as an extra participant in her favor, is such an obvious don’t do common sense thing), and...well, ok. It's not all a bad thing per say… he usually has a fun time getting a good adrenaline fueled kick of energy from pushing each other with banter, flirting, childish antics, getting so involved with each other he forgets about dumb emotions like embarrassment and insecurity and only concerns are in the present which are all about trying to get her ass handed to her and then prepare when she hands it back to him until there are asses flinging back and forth like some sport tennis match, except they don’t actually know what the rules so they look like a pair of chumps flailing about to spectators, and they probably are to an extent all waving around their rackets yelling names like in the animez making up rules when its entertaining or convenient. But he finds that comforting really, that he can still goof around even while hate dating. He doesn’t think he could handle it if there was mostly animosity expected from him or by her like some other couples he's seen, and honestly he thinks the feelings mutual. Plus it often concludes with makeouts - that's never disappointing, but it's still also all. So. fucking. exhausting


In short not anything he wants to be literally just woken up to.

“Yeah okay no that still doesn’t explain anything. I don’t remember when me being in my dumb human bed has ever stopped you or anyone going or doing whatever they damn please, did you somehow get the sudden mistaken impression I wanted to be involved in every part of your routine throughout your day or has it suddenly become mandatory when going out of this swanky holiday apartment to always bring a Strider with you and I missed the memo, I mean I know its pretty such impossible to resist the Strider charms and probably hard to go about your day when while hankering for me constantly but could you make less painfully desperate excuses its pretty sad. Also what time is it that was not a answer I need to know the exact level of righteous resentment I should be feeling”

“Wow what a load of bullfish!” Feferi huffed and leaned back “You can’t be that tired if you cod enough energy to be blubbering so much Mr Drama suckerfish! I am being very nice in waking you up so you clam spend more of the day doing fun things in the days we have left!” Then put her hands on her hips and looked down on you in a decidedly smug manner as if anything that she's saying is the least bit reasonable

“Fuck no.” 

“Fuck yes more like!” Feferi pries away Dave's arm away from his faces and pins it at the side of him with ease (-bullshitseatrollstrength-) “Glub to your attituna because we are on break!” Feferi jabs his bare chest with her finger “On a nice sunny island.” Another jab. “With so many exciting poseabilities everywhere.” jab. “And there are only so many hours in the day and only so many days left!” Feferi leans in again grinning, splaying her hands onto his chest, pads of her fingers pressing down almost hard enough to bruise, the fingertips just reaching his collar bones. “Which means I am tired of waiting around half the way for you to even conchseader entertaining me and I'm the one who arranged and paid the trip! It was very nice of me otter this for free, so I want to sea more gradituna from you by being more cooperative to your generous kismesis” 

She really is feeling extra sprighty today if she isn’t dragging the exchange out and taking an more unusually domineering approach which isn’t very good at actually. Honestly hes seen her try to be sly and vicious but she's way too impulsive and expressive to be sneaky so it is easy to call her out and she gets all pouty but pretends she isn’t and then it all just dissolves into petty slap fights. 

But even still, her voice had lowered the more she went on and ended with a low rumble coming from her throat that's not quite a growl and Dave knows enough troll sounds by now that it's indicating she isn’t particularly riled up in any heated way but wants to be and could get there, which he could pick up even better from how close she's gotten. It was close enough he could nearly feel vibrations of the sound against his skin, close enough her golden and rings of vivid fuschia eyes staring keen and attentive on to his shadeless face nearly encompassed his entire vision, close enough to become much more aware of where her bare skin was against his bare torso were his, her body practically ice cold but felt pleasant against his steadily increasing body temperature and the native morning rays of the island with his arm being pinned to his side...and dammit he’s definitely more awake now, but he’s not getting up just because shes bored that would just be giving in.

(it does crosses his mind yet again that there were consequences he didn’t think through when accepting a trip with his quadrants nearly half way across the globe to take a break from his family and life in general, such as how ‘downtime’ and ‘the constant presence of his kismesis’ might conflict, even with a mutual quad).

“Shit I'm sorry, I didn’t realise I was actually volunteering to be your personal fucking clown and have my very own schedulel based around tending to your fishy princess whims.” Dave drawls giving her his best unimpressed look. Which soon morphed into a grimace as Feferi responded with blowing a raspberry. Still very close to his face. Nice. Ugh.

“Don’t be such a gubby Dave. All it is showing is basic courtesea, beachsides were going to go do FUN things, there is absobubbly nofin to be so grumpy aboat” 

“You mean aside from the fact I am barely awake because the chipper fish girl wants me to play with her at the ass crack of dawn” Dave said dryly, raising his eyebrows.

Feferi rolled her eyes at his comment and slumped back a bit relenting her grip on him, then gave him a wry grin, “You are being dreeeman-tis Dave, you should think aboat being moar open to being ready at any time of day, it gets you ready for the unexpected, and it's fun! And it's only aboat 7 O'clock no need to get your tuna in a twist.”

“Yeah nope, nu uh, still too early” Dave said while pushing himself up “I'm not doing nuthin’ that doesn’t involve being unconscious for at least 3 hours, way low on awakeness levels ain’t dealing with this shit so…” Dave unceremoniously shoved her off the bed ignoring her yelp and missed grabbings. Then immediately lay down and determinedly pulled up his covers and turned the other way. “G-T-F-O not dealing with you, you're a big girl you can find something to do, I believe in you etc etc I’m sleeping”.

There was a pause and the grumbling complaints or whines that Dave expected did not come which could mean she gave up but a meteor could come down at this very moment and wipe out everything in vicinity and that's equally unlikely. It is suspicious and makes him wary.

He tenses at the rustle of movement indicating she got up still without any griping or comments. “Whale…” She starts in an innocent voice he does not trust. “If you're too tired to get up…” Dave, who had been apprehensive in anticipating her finished sentence, took his brain a hot second to process when a vice-like grip suddenly latched around him and suddenly getting his world view disorientated in the same swift moment, that he had just been scooped up and thrown over her shoulder still swaddled in the duvet properly appearing like a particularly awkward and startled burrito. “...then getting a good morning soak to your system will DOLPHINATELY kelp!!” she exclaimed far too cheerful for his liking after taking Dave hostage.

His shock wears off so Dave can fully appreciate the absolute stupid supremely uncool cheap fuckery fucking fuck he is in. And yell about it. “Godfu-CKING-! Oh my GOD -arggh- you giggling shrieking shack of a she-beast, put me down! ” as he does his best in struggling and kicking a way out which is working about as well as he can with his arms pinned to his sides and being carried by a fishtroll with superhuman strength, which is to say it has a pretty depressing overall impact. As in: none. Nada. Might as well be fighting a statue.

“Cod, stop wriggling so much, you’re not eel astic” Feferi says, then giggles at her own stupid pun but otherwise ignores Dave the heartless fiend, as she makes her way out of the bedroom to do. Something. God he doesn’t know what kind of dumb ideas that go- wait no he’s backtracking... to when she was saying something earlier-something about a morning soak. Oh fuck no. “You are not throwing me into the goddamn pool, you deranged rabid son of a fish.” 

Feferi still does not acknowledge him apart from frequent giggles. Abandoning his previous attempts Dave concentrates on wriggling his awkwardly bent arm that has a hand semi-free and isn’t on the side being completely pinned against him free as time of essence is more clearer and urgent than ever.

Feferi then begins to pick up her pace when out in the open corridor with more eager bounces in her steps as she makes a beeline to her destination, probably the door to the patio as their hotel apartment is on the first floor they get a mini garden instead of a balcony and the only thing that is in between the pool that's about a ball toss away and her is a fence, which he won’t even pretend to believe is enough stop her hes seen her in action, she could probably jump over a large fence she eats sharks for breakfast for fucks sake metaphorically and sometimes literally. 

Dave manages to squirm his arm out in the living room and immediately slaps them across her gills causing her to shriek, stumble and then fall over from the imbalance position and weight into the sofa. He scrambles to get away but is pretty tangled up with the duvet with Feferi's body on top of him and somehow got his hand stuck in her massive cloak of hair.

“You absolute basshole I haddock believe you just did that” Feferi hissed, attempting to get up while in a mixed up pretzel stasis of limbs and fabric. “Yeah well foul play deserves dirty tricks” Dave replied distracted, struggling the duvet of his shoulders and and trying to twist his way out the squirming sea troll, but ends pitching them off the edge of the sofa causing disruption of the removable seat cushions and throw pillows on the way down with their awkward descent both to the floor causing a twin wheeze of “Oof-” at the bottom.

Dave quickly takes advantage of his new position on top of her to jump awa- “OW!”-ack nope wait his hand is still swallowed by her hair-shit he always has half suspected her hair was sentient and the way his seems to be getting more sucked in is counting him more in favour of his theory. He quickly moves distance from her again but more cautiously this time as to not accidentally fall back back or drag an unwanted hostile fish face along. So he ends up just, standing awkwardly to the side, shaking his hand frantically in an effort to get the hair to release him.

Feferi stared upon this display propped on her elbows unimpressed expression for a beat “...Dave, you look so unbubbleively stupid right now”

“What no, no way. Blantant fucking lies I’m cool. I am always cool. It is my natural state of being, there is no situation where I am not the physical embodiment of chill I bring the essence of ice, polar bears, penguins and shit wherever I go, I'm like a walking air conditioner bringing room temp--”   “HOLY MACKEREL DAVE'' Dave definitely doesn’t emit a high pitch screech as he barely dodges Feferi’s sudden lunge at him “YOUR A PHYSICAL EMBODIMENT NEVER SHUTTING UP THATS WHAT!!” she yells, immediately coming right round back at him, relentless in grabbing and striking him; luckily her movement allowed him to yank his hand free so he has more space to work with but damn, she is not getting distracted easily or staying down for long. He's mostly managed to avoid being caught through gymnastic dexterity with last second dodges as he has the advantage of being more swifter than her out of water, but her coldblood strength can keep up with his flash steps and she can block his exit maneuvers with ease in such a small space; she’s completely focused on him, pupils a sliver in a pool of fuschia and it's making him feel like a mouse that has a cat that keeps trying to pounce on him whenever he runs, or would a fish and a larger fish be more applicable here? Shark? Barracuda? Whatever. Point is she is very determined in making a spectacle of him despite the blunders because she is an asshole who is dedicated to her shitty basic plans especially at his expense which makes derailing and invading her a helluva task.

They continue in this pattern for a while, his pulse beating in his ears as he scrambles/flashsteps/rolls his very best to get out the room while keeping safe distance from Feferi and they are both knocking down a lot of shit in the process. Its just as well they are on the bottom floor, he can imagine there would've gotten complaints from all this stomping that's going on. 

But finally he got an opening through throwing a pillow at her face and slipped around her to the stairs in the second of distraction he made. Dave pounded up the stairs heavily breathing from the unwelcome morning work out he wasn’t wasn’t expecting (fuck you very much Fef) and nearly rammed into another grey skinned person in the corridor.

“Woah fuck DV, what the hell” The grey skinned person in question turned out to be Sollux. Obviously. There wasn’t any other grey skinned person occupying this apartment. Unless someone broke in, but in this placid island wasn’t going to be likely - especially in a hotel, the locals have all been super chill (wandering scammers notwithstanding).

But he sidestepped the point again, who was frowning at him bleary-eyed. “Uh, yeah, hey sorry dude. Was just absconding from all kinds of unwanted savangness against my innocent, tender body” Dave said, slightly winded. “Whats up?”

“God damn, was that all that fucking racket earlier, could you of picked an more annoying time to be spazzing about in some fucking petty bullshitty dispute” Sollux lipsed, pressing a palm to his forehead.

“Oh shit did we wake you up?” Now Dave is taking a proper look, Sollux is sagging more than his usual slouch, he’s bleary eyed and his hair is disheveled and even has some sopor stuck in it like he just got up. Dave feels genuinely bad about that, The dude already has a hard enough time sleeping as it is. “Sorry bro - I mean it was totally Feferi’s fault, but I didn’t think about you either”

“Its whatever” Sollux sighed “Not like I’m not always doomed to have any semblance of decent sleeping routine get shit all over eventually”

Dave opens his mouth to refute or make some kind of protest, but the pounding on stairs was a forceful reminder that the the ebullient fishtroll was still very much hot on his heels, and used the second it took for her to come crashing in the hall bright eyed and perky, to hide behind the psionic; because hey, what are monorails than briefly shielding them from being hunted by crazy fish ladies.

“Hey FF” Sollux greeted.

Feferi blinked and dropped the slightly crazed stance from her posture to give him a warm grin “Hey Shoallux!” Her gaze turns more mischievous as she glances as Dave “I think may have reeled in something of mine over there” 

“Oh yeah? Huh. I don’t think I noticed. What does it look like exactly?” Sollux said with innocence nobody with any working senses would believe. Dave would like to think Sollux is going to distract her for a while and let him sneak away, but the way Sollux’s mouth was twitching upwards was not inspiring confidence.

“Ohh, you know, pretty shrimpy, makes a lot of verbal blubbering messes everywhere, annnnd...could be conchsideeeered...from certain perspectives...A Prick!” Says Feferi swaying her body side to side as she muses, giving the last bit of her sentence a whole body bounce and another sharp grin.

Dave attempts to make an unimpressed face that gives off offence without actually looking offended, but also is really apathetic. Annoyingly, his complex facial expression maneuvers were all wasted as she isn’t even looking at him. Bitch.

“Hmmm” Sollux makes a mock complementing face. “Well it sounds like you could have been taken my general distinctive presence as the first douche vintage you laid your ganderbulbs on, gog know I have a fuckton of prickishness and blunders in me. Oooor, you're referring to this specific douche here”. He half turns to give Dave a pat on the shoulder. 

“YES!, yes I am pretty shore that is  abshoalutely my douche that I was looking for!” Feferi clapped with unrestrained gleefulness.

“Oh my god, Sol. Bro. Dude. Why are you bringing attention to me. Stop. What are you doing, whose side are you even on” laments Dave as he steps back and makes vaguely gesturing frantic hand waves towards Sollux.

“Whoever is the least likely to stop me from getting coffee” said Sollux flatly “And I’m not trusting the chances with you”

“This is utter fucking betrayal I’m hearing here Sollux, how can you look at me and say you would sacrifice your loving pile pal over bean juice”

“Very easily in fact, especially in the mornings where I am no way fucking awake to humor both of your wriggler theatrics”

Okay, well in hindsight it isn’t that surprising that he wouldn’t be eager to side with him this fray, and Dave doesn’t really want to drag him into some pointless bullshit when already kinda ruined his much needed rest. But Dave plays up his offense anyway because, wow there was no hesitation in siding with his kismesis at all, that is just so cold.

“That is just so cold” laments Dave “The idea you could give up so easily for poor nutritional substances Sollux, that really stings I thought we were tight bro. Tight, like the clenched asscheeks of an sweaty jock lifting his first 200lb weight”

“Shooore” intoned Feferi putting a hand onto her hip “As if he hasn’t chosen poor nutrition over you before in reseant memory”

Dave pauses and squints suspiciously at her, momentarily forgetting his lack of shades. He has no idea what she is referring to, and she definitely isn’t talking about generally because ‘generally’ Sollux will attempt to go days surviving off energy drinks and photosynthesis the light off computer screens unless pestered otherwise. But anything she is going out of her way to mention should she regarded with an appropriate amount of wariness “What”

“He ate your watermelon ice-lolly” informs Feferi smugly.



  “ that was you” Dave frowns.

“Oh no yeah, that was me” said Sollux casually.

“What?!” Dave whips his head around to face him, shocked “Sollux what the hell you knew I really liked those, they were all, like, shaped like a watermelon and-and- I was fucking saving that, you know I was!” Dave jabbed an incredulous finger towards Sollux’s direction. No kidding, he was genuinely pretty miffed and let down by that - those were some damn nice popsicles, and he will let Sollux know that; their current state of cognition be damned.

Sollux looks unfazed under the scrutiny of Dave's accusatory pointing and shrugged “Eh, well, choosing between an evening snack of a water based frozen confection on a stick, or my pity for you- well it just didn’t cut it.” He shook his head mournfully like welp, what can you do.

“Oh my fucking dickballs - what is with you today. I am feeling so attacked from either side right now, the moment I try and put my trust in you, you just casually kick me off the curb into the pits of fuck you. This, right now? Is an betrayal Sollux, treachery, perfidy-”

Double- crossing?”

“An Shell -out?”

“-Shut up. Clearly the basic respect we had for each other's dibbed shit is not there, and maybe it never was. If so then you better start hiding the poptarts, the fruit roll-ups, and the fucking appleberry blasts cause all the basic considerations I gave to leaving the last packet, or can, for you is gone, and from this day on-”

“Hey FF, catch”

Suddenly, yet again, Dave’s righteously melodramatic rant was cut off by the uncomfortably warm static of psionics grip his whole body, and lurched his hold body forward into the awaiting stout arms of a keen fish girl, which immediately clamped around him securely and unyieldingly. Fuck.

“Heehee, thanks Shoallux” says Feferi brightly, shifting Dave's position to her right, giving herself more room to move, then began booking it towards the bedrooms. 

Dave could only look upon Sollux’s dwindling figure in shock and dismay as he is yet again being hauled around, although he has been upgraded from awkward blanket burrito to a plain meatsack luggage. He catches a last glimpse of Sollux giving him an apologetic shrug while wearing a tired, but still very much present, smirk. Then disappears around the door frame.

What an absolute asshole. There is about a 50/50 chance of him either continuing to be a flippant ass about this later, or actually feeling guilty as he wonders if he went too far. But either way right now at this moment, he is an backstabbing little bastard that gave no regard over giving him away to overzealous fish girls who are passionate about inconveniencing him in all the most petty ways, and is basically nonchalantly setting him up to a fate that ends up sleeping with the fishes. And he is only partly exaggerating.

Oh wow, he was so busy being shock over Sollux’s sell-out behaviour that he didn't notice Feferi is currently jumping out of the fucking window ohh fuck fuck fricking fuckety shiat --

They're fine. He’s fine. She’s fine. Of course they are. She has done much more crazy stuff than jump out of a second storey window before. Feferi just... dropped, slammed down with strong enough impact to break an humans ankles, and continued running. He was just naturally startled at being jutted out into the open air then having gravity slam dunk him towards the ground. But it's all cool. It's fine. It's motherfucking gucci. Yeah. Well, expect for fact that their destination that he has been trying to avoid so far is getting notably un avoidably close, and he’s still … pretty fuckin’ stuck. 

Feferi finally skids to a stop as what he assumes is the pool but he isn’t in the right direction to really see so he has to crane his neck to...and yep that's the pool. There isn’t much he can do at this point except when she swings him forward, he keeps a hold of her hair cause if she really went through all that effort for this moment, you bet he is dragging her down with him. 

He falls, she topples with him, and he catches a glimpse of shock colour her face before he screws up his whole face to brace for impact. Any sound she might have made is lost to the resounding slash and water rushing through his ears. 

He sinks for a moment then quickly kicks himself towards the surface and breaks through with a gasp. He scans the glistering water for her coming up, and frowns when there isn’t immediately a sign of her, until a sudden of eruption of water behind hitting the back of him has Dave whirling round to find her there, practically gleaming from the sun reflecting off of her wet body and the water surrounding them, smirking at him in a manner he would never ever describe as shy, but has a more reserved quality to it compared to her previously brilliant grins, yet still emits an impishness from her that can also be seen dancing in her bright fuchsia eyes.

He stares at her, completely blankfaced, she stares back and for a moment there is no action or words from either of them. The rippling of the pool’s water and their breathing is all that fills the silence.

Until finally Feferi speaks up “...So, are you ready to go out?” Her smirks quirks up a few more millimeters.

Dave blankface twitches, and he just. Kisses her. Hard. Because this was so stupid and pointless and he is wet and really all kinds of effort got put in this dumb and petty situation, all just to make things even more annoying and difficult for him to get him to do what she wants. And god does that irritate him. But he is going to go out with her because he is not going to let her to finish what she started and if she wants Dave to fuck around and work her up so badly, he will gladly pay her back tenfold until she is can no longer grinning about him, and he will smirk back against her glowers and growls in return. 


He breaks the kiss as he plants his feet on her hips and uses her as a springboard to swim off to the edge of the pool, and also to delay her, and her natural fishtrollness, as much as possible. As he scrambles out he hears yells after him and rapid splashes. Yeah, maybe today won’t be so bad after all.