I am kicking your brother out on the streets i just met my souldmaet.
That's a joke, right? How drunk are you right now?
Don't take so long to answer, I'll have a heart attack. Why are you telling me this?
I tell you everything.
At 12:15, Wallace Wells invited a gorgeous bespectacled boy named Mobile back to his place. Twenty-nine seconds later, Mobile became the second guy ever to decline to give Wallace his cellphone number (the first having been Scott Pilgrim, for the reason that Scott did not own a cellphone). Wallace was half way through another text to Stacey, saying that against all odds he'd struck out and surely it was a sign of the Apocalypse, but Mobile hurriedly explained that he simply did not use cellular devices if he could help it because of their tendency to interfere with his signal. He forged a temporary psychic link directly to Wallace's brain instead, said they'd meet up later, and disappeared into the crowd.
"Whoa," said Other Scott, eyes wide.
Wallace, either unimpressed or unwilling to admit otherwise, shrugged.
Ever dated a psychic before?
A psychO, maybe
If you see ur little bro tell him i need keys xoxo
Stacey wouldn't see Scott that night, however. She would be too busy putting a video on the internet about him that would have 18,000 views (and garner Stacey's channel a whole host of new subscribers) by the end of the week.
You're not actually kicking him out, are you?
Wallace drifted through the night with a vague sense that somehow, everything would work out just fine. And true to his instincts, Mobile found him again just as his stomach was starting to complain for lack of proper sustenance.
"Hey again." A raise of the eyebrows. "My buddy and I here were just going to get something to eat."
"We were?" Other Scott said.
Wallace elbowed him. "Care to join us?"
Mobile said nothing. But when Wallace took other Scott by the arm and turned to go, Mobile followed.
Now, some people would say that Pizza Pizza is not a place to take someone in whom you are interested. But the Wallace Wells guide to life dictates that the first hook-up and/or date is the cheap one -- it keeps expectations low and saves cash. Wallace wasn't sure to what extent Mobile used his gift, but one way or another he seemed to get it -- as the three neared their destination, Mobile excused himself to stop by the bank machine to pay for himself.
And there was the second instance of things working out for practically no reason: there was Scott with the keys, and darling angel Ramona to give him a place to stay that wasn't Wallace's bed. Which he very much needed for sex. And also cuddling, because Wallace had a feeling Mobile was a cuddler. But also sex.
Scotts with his girl, text her if you need him. She is a good messenger.
Good night, Wallace.
Things almost always seemed to work out when it came to Mobile, it didn't take long to notice.
Mobile "called" via the psychic link just as Scott and Ramona were leaving, for instance.
I will see you in approximately two minutes and twelve seconds.
"Ooooh," Wallace breathed, the voice echoing in his head. "Is this how the link thing works?"
More or less. You don't need to speak out loud. Just direct the thoughts towards me, and I will hear them.
Wallace focused, and gave that a shot. I may have to do more or less scandalous things to you tonight. A key tactic in the Wallace Wells Bag of Tricks is to pick up words and phrases in a man's vocabulary and repeat them back to him.
I'm sure you will be paid back in kind.
Well, that had certainly worked. The telepathic communication and the phrasal repetition.
Other Scott left at an all-too-convenient time, too, as it happened to be right around the time that getting this boy back to his place was kind of becoming an urgent matter.
Of course, any perfect night needs a drawback or two, which is why it was conveniently pouring down rain around the time Wallace and Mobile left.
But that, Mobile had a solution for.
"Your chakra points," he said, "Are here, here, here, here..." Starting at the top of his head, and then trailing down and down -- "here, here..." lower still, and -- "and here."
Oh. Well then.
Mobile smirked. "Focus for just a moment, please."
And, tapping the link again, Mobile made the points glow in Wallace's mind, highlighting the places he'd touched. Focus on them now, he said without speaking a word. Let the energy from those points flow out and surround your body. And then... Mobile let his own energy vibrate and wick the moisture away. Wallace emulated as best he could, and -- suddenly, it was like he hadn't been out in the rain at all.
It also had the interesting side effect of leaving Wallace very warm. And Mobile still very close. Due gratitude was owed to the bed, glorified mattress on the floor though it was, for managing to always only be a few paces from the door.
Bless you, bed.
"Sorry. Not intentionally directed at you."
In the morning, Mobile asked to use Wallace's shower, and Wallace graciously consented on the condition that he would be allowed to join and be given a refresher course in how to do the cool chakra thing.
"A refresher course, plus the next few lessons," said Mobile, who mainly made a point of speaking in actual words mainly in the mornings and when there was someone else present.
The "next few lessons" turned out to be... equally enlightening.
I want you to be my maiden of honour
Oh Wallace, I'd love to. If I didn't suspect you'll be done with him in a week.
;) I wouldn't be so sure this time.