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Your Puffle Has Returned to the Wild

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Midoriya Izuku was by no means a dull child. If anything, it was the opposite; stubborn to a fault, perhaps, with a certain kind of emotional intelligence that caused him to stick by peers that were not, perhaps, the most conducive to his health, but not dull. Which was why he showed little surprise at the small bundles of fluff that started showing up at his doorstep when he was four.

“It’s my quirk, Mama!” he told her proudly. “You attract small objects, I attract small fluffy objects because Dada’s hair is fluffy!”

Perhaps his reasoning could use some work, but he wasn’t wrong, exactly, about the unusual occurrences around his apartment block. The different coloured creatures were indeed summoned by his quirk, which seemed to work like a radar, if their tendency to congregate outside but fail to actually break in was any indication. In any case, they were friendly, and eager to please, if the small sample of four the family acquired in a fortnight was any indication, and since they didn’t seem to have the more problematic bodily functions that might bar the average four-year-old from having their own pet, Midoriya Inko acquiesced to her son’s begging to let them into the house. They let the ‘Fwuffles’ in, found them a box to bury themselves in, and set off to the quirk specialist to get Izuku’s quirk registered. There was, after all, no reason to wait.


“How are these still alive?” the quirk specialist muttered, prodding a blue fuzzball with his finger. “Do they even eat?”

“Uh huh, one drank Mama’s coffee this morning,” Izuku told him cheerfully.

“Should they… not?” Inko asked, worried. She didn’t want her son’s pets to die of poisoning, after all.

“Well, that’s just it,” the quirk specialist grumbled. “They don’t have a digestive tract, or bones. Of any sort. They’re just… blobs. Where did you say they come from, again?”

“We don’t really know,” Inko admitted. “They just – appear outside the house and gravitate towards him.”

The quirk specialist sighed, put pen to paper, and started writing. It didn’t make sense, but he had come to realise in his second year of university that none of this made sense. He was just glad the kid was summoning ‘Fwuffles’ and not piranhas like that girl down in Hokkaido.


That’s your quirk? What the hell are those?” Bakugou Katsuki was not the sort of child to wait patiently for an explanation. He had seen something weird, and he wanted to know. Now.

“Fwuffles,” Izuku told him amicably. “My quirk works like a bee-kin and summons them to me. I have five now.”

“They look like furry bouncy balls! The hell do they even do?” Katsuki demanded.

“Well… they drink Mama’s coffee, and they stole the bottle of hot sauce. They like to eat other things, too, but –”

“Not that! I mean what do they do? Do they just – heckin’ – sit there? Or do they do stuff?”

“Oh! Uh, well, they sort of pick up coins? Sometimes? Which is nice. Uh – the yellow one – Small Might – drew himself in my notebook – and the orange one – that’s Mikan – ate my eraser –”

“It ate your eraser? That’s not how you feed a pet, stupid.”

“I know, Kacchan, it just did it and looked smug and I don’t know what to do about it, okay? And I found the pink one – Bubbles – scu-ba diving in the toilet yesterday –”

“It what.”

“I don’t know, Kacchan. It had a snor-kle and everything. I don’t know where it found it.”

Katsuki eyed the pink creature suspiciously and edged away from it as it smiled cheerfully up at him. “Your quirk’s weird.”

Izuku shrugged, not denying it, then perked up. “Oh yeah! The black one – I called him Ohiya – caught fire when it got into the hot sauce.”

Katsuki choked. “IT CAUGHT FIRE?! WHY THE HELL DIDN’T YOU SAY THAT FIRST?!”

“It burned my hair, Kacchan. The whole apartment smelled like burning hair.”

“NEVER MIND THAT, IT ACTUALLY HECKING DOES CRAP!”

“Kacchan, please calm down –”

“HELL NO! C’MON, LET’S SET SOMETHING ON FIRE –”

“KACCHAN! NO!”


Midoriya had a problem.

“Mama! There’s two more!” he called out.

“Oh, Izuku…”

“I know, Mama. They won’t all fit in the apartment.”

“Where do they come from? How many are there, now?”

“Twenty-three, Mama. They’re starting to triple up on colours, now.”

“What are we going to do with them?”

“I don’t know, Mama.”

“Hm… Izuku, sweetie… we might just have to leave them outside.”

“But – Mama! What if they get eaten by a cat or a bird or something? What if they starve?”

“Izuku, Mikan ate a rock yesterday.”

“…I forgot about that, Mama.”

“I’m sure they’ll be alright. You can still come down and play with them, we just can’t fit them all in the apartment.”

“Okay, Mama.”


“Izu-chan. One of your damn fwuffles got into my house.”

“A-ah! Sorry, Kacchan! Is it a new one?”

“Uh-huh. No name tag or anything.”

“O-oh. Where was it?”

“He was in the washing machine.”

“In the – oh my god, Kacchan. Oh my god, Mister Fwuffle, how did you get into Kacchan’s washing machine?”

The puffle meeped, but gave no further explanation, opting to snuggle itself into the collar of Katsuki’s school uniform, much to the latter’s irritation.

“Here! Just – take him back, okay? I’ve had him for two days and he wouldn’t hecking leave.”

Izuku nodded, and took the red fuzzball in his hands, planning on taking it home . Unfortunately, the fluffle had other ideas.

 

“DEKU! YOUR FWUFFLE IS BACK!”

“Sorry, Kacchan, he jumped out of my bag!”

 

“Hey, Kacchan, what’s that?”

“Hah? What’re you – OH MY GOD NOT YOU AGAIN –”

 

“DEKUUU! IT’S IN THE DAMN BATHROOM!”

“I’M SORRY!”

 

“I give up,” Izuku groaned, flopping over on the grass. “You keep him. He’s yours.”

“I don’t want him, though! Dumb fwuffle – ow! Did you just bite me, you hecking – potato?!”

“Kacchan, don’t call him a potato.”

“He’s potato sized!”

“…Kacchan, what potatoes have you been eating!”

“That doesn’t – Izu-chan, please! Just take him back!”

“I can’t. He’s im-pwint-ed on you.”

“What does that mean?!”

“It’s like ducks, Kacchan. You’re big and he lived in your house. He thinks you’re his Mama.”

“He thinks I’m his Mama.”

“Uh huh, Kacchan.”

“Stupid fluffle. I’m obviously his Dada.”

“Okay, Kacchan.”


“Whoa, Bakugou-kun! What’s that?”

“Hah?” Katsuki checked his shoulder. “Oh, that’s King Explosion Murder. Dammit, I told him to stay at home –”

“I can’t believe you named him that.”

“Hecking shut up, Izu-chan, it’s a great name.”

Izuku pouted slightly. “Kacchan, he doesn’t explode.”

“Nah, but he has a cannon,” Katsuki refuted with a touch of homicidal glee.

“Whoa, Bakugou-kun! A cannon? Is he part of your quirk?”

“Nah, he’s part of the nerd’s quirk.” Katsuki jabbed his thumb at Izuku, who squeaked and tried to make himself shrink. “Damn free-loader showed up in the washing machine and never left.”

“…what do you mean, he’s part of Midoriya’s quirk?”

“The nerd attracts them,” Katsuki grumbled impatiently.

“But – what are they?”

“Fluffles,” he said shortly.

“What’s a fluffle?”

Katsuki growled. “I DON’T KNOW.”


“Is – is that a –”

“Melon had a nightmare, Kacchan.”

Katsuki stared at Izuku for a second longer, taking the boy in. Freckled cheeks, green eyes, wide grin, green hair that appeared to be snoring.

“Izu-chan. What the fuck.”

“Don’t swear in front of the baby, Kacchan.”

“I’LL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I LIKE –"


Despite their relatively interesting quirks, Izuku and Katsuki were by no means slouches. Quite the contrary – they both scored at the top of their class, consistently, and had the test papers to prove it. But such results didn’t come out of nowhere, even if they were a pair of bright boys, and so they sometimes found themselves studying together, or scribbling down their homework in each other’s rooms. The problem, though, with leaving two tweens to their own devices, is that they often get… sidetracked, no matter how dedicated they may be.

“Wait.” Katsuki dropped his pencil, leaving a spot next to his mathematics homework. “Oh my god, you Deku.”

“What?” Izuku asked indignantly. “I didn’t do anything, Kacchan!”

“YOU NAMED YOUR FUCKIN’ FLAMING HOT CHEETO ‘WATER’ IS WHAT YOU DID!” Katsuki roared, hands popping, and Izuku sighed, resigned.

“I thought his fur looked like water at night. I was a dumb child, Kacchan.”

“Hell yeah you were.”


“Excuse me, shounen? Is this yours?”

Midoriya looked up to see the old man from two floors down holding a fluffle in his hands and sighed internally.

“Oh! W-when did you find him, ojii-san?”

“I found him in my refrigerator last night. I – don’t know how he got in, I’m sorry if he becomes ill…”

Midoriya sighed, counting the hours in his head. “Ojii-san? He’s not one I t-tagged, and if he’s been in your house for that long, he’s p-probably imprinted on you.”

“Imprinted, shounen?”

“Yes. They do that quite quickly, a-actually. Usually they find me first, but sometimes… if I take him, he’s only going to break into your house again. B-but!” he hastened to add, “You don’t have t-to worry about f-feeding him or anything! A-and the refrigerator thing is okay too! The white ones like the cold.”

“I… see, shounen.”

“I’m sorry, ojii-san,” Midoriya mumbled. “I can’t really control it. I mean – I can t-train them, but I can’t control where they show up…”

“Oh… no, that’s okay. He is… rather cute. And surprisingly warm.”

“Yeah, he is.”


“Oi. Izu-kun.”

Izuku turned around, only to find Katsuki three inches from his face and leaning over him, leaving him pressed up against the wall. “A-ah! Ka-kacchan?!”

“Don’t fuck up the entrance exam,” Katsuki said shortly, jabbing a finger (mildly painfully) in his chest. “Or you’ll be Deku for the rest of your shitty-ass life, you got it?”

Not quite finding the air to speak, Izuku nodded, only to squeak as Katsuki turned to the green fluffle nesting in his hair.

“That goes for you too, fucker. I swear to All Might, I will kick you all the way to Nagasaki –”

“Kacchan!”

“Shut up, nerd, I’m threatening your fluffle.”

“That – Kacchan! That’s what – MMMPH!”

“—so if you fuck around,” Katsuki finished menacingly, one hand clamped over Izuku’s mouth, “You’d better watch out, capiche?”

 

“What’s going on?” one of their classmates whispered.

“Bakugou is threatening Midoriya’s fluffles again,” another muttered back.

“Ohhh… remind me why he does that?”

“I – to assert dominance?”

The first looked around the corner. “…no, try again.”

“Wha –”

“TRY AGAIN, TAKAIDA-KUN.”


“I do have a quirk, sir. It just – summons these guys.”

“…what is that?”

“A fluffle, sir. They can do lots of things! They just, uh, they sometimes aren’t very obedient – Melon you naughty thing get your ass back here – MELON DO NOT ATTACK YAGI-SAN –"


“Nedzu-san, please tell me this is one of your surprise obstacles,” Aizawa groaned.

“Hmm? I haven’t used any surprise obstacles apart from the zero-pointers. What is it?”

Aizawa just groaned and dropped his head to the table, leaving a vaguely put out Kan to gesture towards the cameras. “There’s a kid in there who’s controlling – something. They look furry.”

Nedzu glanced at the screen. “Ah. Is that the one who was running through the city screaming random object names?”

“I – I don’t know?”

“Yes,” Aizawa muttered. “Presumably, the furry things are alive and sentient.”

On the screen, there was a shower of sparks and a robot’s arm fell off, accompanied by exactly one orange ball of fluff.

“Is it – eating the robot?” Maijima asked faintly.

“Indeed!” Nedzu chirped.

Kan stared at the screen for a moment, then sighed. “Shots not.”

Aizawa swore, and Kayama snorted her tea out of her nose. On the screen, a small pile of brown things swarmed another robot.

It exploded.


“…Izu-kun, why are you giving me a safe?”

“It’s for Sir Nighteye,” Izuku explained briefly.

“…why the fuck does Sir Nighteye need to go in the safe, Izu-kun.”

“He’s in time-out. It has air holes, don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t fuckin’ worried. Why is he in time out.”

“Kacchan –”

“Deku.”

Izuku turned haunted eyes to his best friend. “He drew a dick on one of the robots, Kacchan.”

Katsuki was silent in disbelief for a moment, before an evil grin stretched across his face.

“Kacchan. Kacchan, please. It’s not funny, Kacchan. Kacchan –”

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT, YOUR DAMN FLUFFLE DREW A DICK ON A UA ENTRANCE EXAM ROBOT –”

“Kacchan, please shut up –”

“OH, HELL NO, I’M TELLING EVERYONE! OI, HAG! GUESS WHAT IZU’S FLUFFLE DID –”

“Kacchan, DO NOT –”


Izuku’s first thought upon entering Classroom 1-A was, “Huh, this place smells like burning hair.

He didn’t really get time for any second thoughts, though, because when he opened the door, he encountered numerous discomfiting things. Firstly, Kacchan was fighting with the big loud boy from the entrance exam; second, King Explosion Murder had followed Kacchan to school and was holding a staring competition with a shy-looking, vaguely terrified boy with a mountain-shaped head; and third, the smell of burning hair was emanating from a black fluffle who was sitting on a classmate’s head, and yes, was on fire.

And then, Melon jumped out of his hair and face-planted directly into the black puffle, who fell onto the floor. Entrance Exam Boy jumped, adjusted his glasses, and started saying something about bringing pets to school; Flaming Hair Boy blinked in vague confusion as the floor behind him caught fire; Kacchan started laughing as if this was all in good fun; Mountain Boy nearly fell out of his seat; Entrance Exam Girl walked in the door and started gushing about – something; and then their teacher inchwormed through the door in a yellow sleeping bag, took one look at the classroom, and muttered something about fever dreams.

Oh, dear.


“Hey, Midori-kun?”

Izuku jumped; the USJ experience had been hell on his nerves, what with three of his fluffles nearly dying and having to use his orange puffles as legitimate weapons, something he never thought would happen. Spinning around, he found himself face to face with a set of black-and-gold eyes, square in pink skin and framed by equally pink, fluffy hair. “AH! A-Ashido-san!”

“I got one of your fluffers.”

“You got one of my fluff… oh. Oh, All Might.”

Ashido blinked at him as he nervously glanced down at his feet. “Uh… Midori? Is… is there something wrong with it? Is it sick? I – I’m sorry –”

“N-no!” he hastened to reply, waving his hands in front of him. “N-not sick! Just – you know how Kacchan has one?”

“Uh huh, Blasty’s got the red one.”

“R-right. So, if you get one, and it isn’t tagged, that means it just arrived. My quirk lets me summon them – I act like a homing beacon, essentially – but they imprint on people if they spend long enough around them. So – uh – congratulations?”

Ashido blinked at the purple fluffle in her hands. It blinked back at her, then cracked a grin. “Huh.”

Izuku nervously tapped his fingers together. “They – uh – they don’t eat much, but they do like to drink coffee. And hot sauce? And purple ones – they like bubbles, I think. And dancing? I once found His Purple Highness jumping in time to Mom’s radio…”

“Cool,” Ashido said decisively. “Imma name him Mineta But Better.”

“…great?”


“Aizawa-sensei, Mineta-But-Better bit Mineta. Can we send him to Recovery Girl?”

Aizawa grunted, which Kaminari and Satou took as a yes.

“Do we need to give Mineta But Better shots now?” Ashido whispered. “Like, for rabies?”

“That’s… not how you get rabies, Ashido-san.”

“It’s not?”


“Oh! You – you have fluffles?”

“Is that what y’call ‘em?” The girl shoved her glasses up to her forehead, glancing over the three brown fluffles bouncing around the support lab. “They showed up yesterday. Pretty damn useful, I think. They’ve got an eye for my babies, that’s for sure!”

“So – you’re alright with them, then?”

“Sure. Free labour.”

“Uh… okay! Cool! Just wanted to check, because – I’m the source – and they’re sort of showing up everywhere…”

“Oh. That’s… interesting, Free-Labour-Kun.”

“E-eh?!”

“Hatsume-chan,” Maijima called out sharply, “Don’t scare the Hero Course student.”

“I’m not!”

“Sure, you’re not…”


“Midoriya.” The voice was flat and expressionless as always, but also far too close for comfort, and Izuku turned around in an awful hurry, stepping back a bit when his eyes met another pair.

“T-todoroki-kun?”

Todoroki regarded him impassively. “One of your fluffles has been living in my room since last May.”

“I – I’m sorry, they i-imprint on whoever they see – w-wait, how did it get into y-your r-room, shouldn’t you have b-better security –”

“She set fire to my father’s breakfast.”

“A-ah – STOP LAUGHING, KACCHAN!” Izuku cried, and indeed, Katsuki was doubled over and cackling like a madman. “T-todoroki-kun – I’m sorry! They’re usually better behaved, I promise!”

Todoroki stared at him, face empty, head tilted ever so slightly, before blandly beginning to speak again. “Objectively…”


“Why… what are you doing?”

Snap.

“Are you… are you mocking me? Did my father pay you to do this?”

Snap.

“I – please stop.”

Snap.

“Midoriya-kun, this – you’re going to run out of fingers eventually.”

Snap.

“…you just broke that one again.”

Snap.

“HURRY UP AND FUCKING FINISH HIM!” Katsuki roared from the stands. “YOU’RE GIVING SIR NIGHTEYE STRESS!”

“SIR NIGHTEYE GIVES ME STRESS!” Izuku screamed back, considering whether he had the time to take of his shoe and start breaking his toes.

“HE’S DRAWING DICKS EVERYWHERE AGAIN!”

“WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!”

“Excuse me,” Todoroki called out, “Can we – can we get back to fighting?”

Snap.

“Not – not like that – please, just have them bite me to death or something—"

Snap – “It’s your power, Todoroki-kun. Not his – SIR NIGHTEYE, GET OFF THE FIELD OR SO HELP ME –”


“Midoriya-shounen?”

“All-Might-sensei! Is something wrong? Am I in trouble?”

“Ah… no, nothing of the sort, shounen. I just – there’s something in my office, could you take a look at it?”

“In your – oh, is there a fluffle in your office, All-Might-sensei?”

“Something like that…”

 

In All Might’s office, Izuku stared blankly at the round creature sitting on the desk. It was round, and it meeped like a fluffle, but…

“That is a T-Rex.”

“Yes, shounen, it is.”

“There is a T-Rex crossed with a fluffle in your office.”

“…yes.”

Izuku took a deep breath. “Well, they don’t usually bite unless you ask them to, so you should be safe to keep - her?”

“Keep her, shounen?”

“They imprint on you, All-Might-sensei. Don’t worry, they don’t eat much.”

“I – I see…”


Katsuki slammed his hand down on the table. “DEKU.”

Izuku glanced up from his work. “Kacchan?”

Katsuki was seething, eyes narrowed to slits and face a snarl. “Icyhot has two now.

“He – he does?” Izuku glanced over to see a white speck burrowing into Todoroki’s blazer pocket. “Oh. He does.”

Why does Icyhot have two, Deku?

Izuku stared at Katsuki for a moment, brain whirring as he tried to come up with a reason why he would be so upset. “Kacchan… are you – are you jealous?”

There was a second where his words hung in the air. The whole class fell silent, and then Katsuki –

“WHY THE EVERLOVING FUCK WOULD I BE JEALOUS OF THAT SHITTY BROKEN MICROWAVE, HUH?!”

—exploded.

 

“It’s okay to be jealous, Kacchan.”

“Shut up.”

“I still like Kacchan the best, don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t worried…”

“Kacchan. It’s okay, alright?”

“Stop looking down on me,” Katsuki half-snapped, half-wailed from beneath the small pile of Izuku’s pets that were sitting on top of him.

“I’m not, Kacchan.”

“Stupid Deku…”

“Mmm hmm.”


“Toshinori…senpai.”

“…Mirai-k – kohai.”

“What is that on your shoulder.”

“A fluffle.”

“It – it’s not fluffy.”

“I know.”

“It’s a miniature T-Rex.”

“I know.”

“It has a full set of canines, Toshinori-senpai.”

“They’ll find you too, you know.”

“I – pardon?”

“They’ll hitch a ride on Toogata-shounen and Midoriya-shounen and imprint on everyone in your office.”

“…what?”

“Yamada has three. Todoroki-shounen has two. I think Bakugou-shounen has five…”

“Five dinosaurs?”

“Most of them are fluffy like the ones at the sports festival – not all of them, some of them are… dinosaurs. Or made of gold. Or crystal. Or – ghosts? Dead?”

“…please tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m not. They’re everywhere.”

“…does Toogata have one?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”


“Heeere, Sadako-chan,” Toogata cooed. “Come on, dinner’s ready…”

There was a loud scream from the other side of the room as Sadako the Ghost Fluffle phased through a wall, right next to Amajiki’s head. Hadou laughed.

“Aw, Amajiki-kun! It’s just Sadako-chan! You don’t have to scream every time, you know?”

“She’s a ghost and she comes through walls,” Amajiki muttered. “It’s like Mirio, but scarier.” And with that, he picked up his own, pink ball of fuzz, and hugged it close.

“Sadako-chan is harmless,” Toogata chirped. “Just like me.”

“…you’re not harmless, Toogata-kun,” Hadou pointed out.

“…ah. Bad example.” Toogata’s brow furrowed as he thought of a better example. “Uh… hey, where’s Peri?”

A small blue blob fell off the ceiling fan straight onto Amajiki’s face, and he fell off the couch. And stayed there.

“Amajiki-kun?”

“…Suneater-kun? Tamaki-kun?”

“Let me and Chu stay here,” Amajiki whined. “I’ll just become one with the floor…”

“We really have to talk to Peri about attacking Tamaki,” Toogata muttered.


“Has anyone seen Depths of Chaos?” Shouji asked. “Tokoyami-kun’s lost her again.”

Asui hummed, glancing around the room. “Not here, I don’t think.”

“This pile of clothes is moving!” Kirishima volunteered. “Lemme see… oh, it’s just Emile-Francois Dior…false alarm, guys…”

Satou, who was bustling around the kitchen, opened the pantry and sighed. “Hey, Hagakure-san? Mochi is in the cookie jar again.”

Hagakure huffed, jumping to her feet. “Mochi! I told you, that many cookies will give you diabetes, you’re less than a foot tall, you cannot eat one-hundred-and-thirteen grams of sugar a day—”

There was a yelp from the corridor, an awful lot of crashing, and Sero tore into the common room, tape on fire and dragging a vaguely out-of-it Kaminari with him. “Depths of Chaos was in the clothes dryer with Waluigi and nearly set the entire laundry room on fire,” he panted, shoving his elbows in the sink and kicking Kaminari towards the couch, where he cheerfully flopped over.

“…what was Depths of Chaos doing with Waluigi?” Jirou asked suspiciously.

“Maybe –”

Ojiro’s tail moved to cover Mineta’s mouth. “No.”

“Eating gum,” Sero supplied.

“In the clothesdryer?” Satou asked weakly.

Shouji blinked once. “What a… mad banquet of darkness.”

The clock ticked once as Shouji grinned at them, and then Sero jumped to his feet. “NOPE!” he declared, and he rolled his sleeves up, stomped over and attempted to wrestle Shouji onto the ground, the latter laughing all the way.

“What…” Aizawa stared at them all, having stuck his head in for a spot check. “What is going on in here? Why is Sero hanging off Shouji’s shoulders?”

The key word being attempted, of course.


“So,” Toogata asked gently, bobbed down on the ground in front of Eri. “You got your own, now, huh?”

Eri nodded around her candy apple, smiling slightly as the fluffle ambled over and sat on her feet.

“Yeah? What’s their name?”

“Apple,” Eri said definitively.

Toogata glanced up at the fluffle, then to Aizawa and Izuku, who were attempting to wrangle a rainbow fluffle that had hidden under the bed, and then back to Eri.

“Oh,” he said, watching as the bright blue fluffle named ‘Apple’ meeped happily and bounced onto Eri’s head. “I…see.”

Toogata did not see, but whatever made Eri happy…


“You know,” Katsuki said slowly, “Everyone around here has been collecting fluffles. Do you even get any more yourself? ‘Cos if you don’t –”

“Ah! No, it’s alright, Kacchan!” Izuku waved one hand in the air as he fished around on top of the fridge and managed to extricate Bacon from where she was stuck. “I still – DAMMIT!”

There was a sharp noise as he fell off, Bacon still in hand, landing in a messy heap on the floor. Wincing, he got to his feet, still gripping Bacon, who was now squirming, tightly in one hand. “Their appearance picked up lately! Well, it picked up a while ago, maybe when I was fourteen? But it really picked up this year. I mean, look, just last week, I got Bubble Girl, Amplifier, Zipwire, Ronin, Toaster Boy—”

“Toaster Boy.”

“Number 1926, Kacchan.”

“I’m not surprised, with a shitty name like that.”

“So, Toaster Boy, Mercury, Amaterasu, and Cerebrum.”

“…is that the one that keeps banging into the fuckin’ walls?”

Izuku sighed, looking over at the white fluffle demonstrating the point that very moment. “Yeah, Kacchan, she – OW! Bacon, why?”

Katsuki groaned, jumping up and grabbing Bacon out of Izuku’s hand. “Here – ew, nerd, don’t stick that shit in there–”

“Evolution, Kacchan.”

“I don’t give a fuck about evolution, it gave me a shitty blind spot, you can’t just stick all your damn wounds in your mouth – I’ll take the orange bastard up to Shitty Hair, right? You wash that off – and get Katsudon out of the dishwasher, that’s fucking unhygienic.”

“Why does Bacon have teeth like her person,” Izuku whined, getting up to chase Katsudon out of his impromptu nest in the breakfast bowls. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“I don’t want to know,” Katsuki muttered grimly.


“Sen-senpai? Is that – is that like the thing Toogata brought in?”

“Yes, Centipeder-kouhai.”

“I – senpai, why is it eating your documents?”

“I don’t know. They – were to be discarded anyway…”

There was a pause, broken only by the sound of a fluffle cramming more paper into its mouth.

“How did it get here?”

Sir Nighteye slammed a hand onto his desk, then winced, rubbing his bandages ruefully before continuing in a calmer tone. “I don’t know! All Might warned me about this and I still don’t know! I kept the windows locked and everything!”

Centipeder winced slightly, watching the green blob chew the pile of paper – using most of its body – and swallow.

Where did it all go?

“Well,” Bubble Girl chirped, “At least they’re cute. I wonder what happens if you strap them into the tickle machine?”

“Midoriya said they bite, sometimes,” Sir Nighteye pointed out.

“I – senpai, it’s making puppy eyes at you, I don’t think it’s going to bite you,” Centipeder said flatly.

“Its eyes don’t – fine.”


“Uh, Midoriya-kun?”

“Ah? Oh – Awase-kun, right?”

“Yeah. Look, we’ve got a problem, and if we don’t solve it, the dorm’s going to burn down.”

“Why… why are you telling me this?”

“Qiqi set fire to Aurum-san.”

“Who… who are Qiqi and Aurum-san?”

“Kendou and Monoma’s…”

“Oh.”

“Komori is hiding behind the couch.”

“Oh dear.”

“I think the carpet caught fire too.”

“I – I’ll get Yaoyorozu…”


“That’s odd,” Maijima said slowly, counting up the fluffles that were milling around his students. “We haven’t got our usual third one this week. I wonder what happened?”

“Random assortment?” One of the students suggested. “From a statistical perspective, there’s bound to be some form of fluctuation in the arrival of the – fluffles. Like when things explode for no reason.”

“Maybe,” Majima said slowly, but he couldn’t quite get the feeling of existential dread from his mind.

 

“How exactly do you drink tea without hands?” Nedzu asked curiously.

The brown fluffle said nothing, slurping down the cup with far too much noise.

“And where did you get all those beakers?”

The brown puffle meeped, and started fiddling with the security system.

“I think you and I are going to get along just fine,” Nedzu decided.


“It’s One for All, isn’t it.”

“Hmm?” Izuku glanced up as Katsuki stepped through the doorway, leaning faux-casually against the wall. “What?”

“The fluffles. That’s why there’s so many. And why they’re getting weirder.”

“I – probably?” Izuku said carefully, squinting slightly at Katsuki as his brain whirred over the idea. “The numbers make sense, but the weirdness…”

“Does that mean One for All is the reason why Bacon and Sashimi just tried to eat my ankles?”

Izuku yelped at his tone of voice and did the only thing he deemed reasonable at that moment; he jumped out the window.

“DEKU, YOU FUCK – OW! SIR NIGHTEYE, I AM GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE—"


“Ah, yes,” Eri sighed. “My father, my pa, and his seven balls of rainbow fluff.”

Izuku blinked at her. “Who… who taught you to meme?”

“Nejire-nee. Did I do it right?”

“I guess… wait, that’s not Sir Nighteye.”

“I have three! Kaminari-nii says that means three Christmases.”

“Kaminari-nii just got demoted to cousin,” Toogata muttered.

“Oh! I got another fluffle, too! Look!”

It was red, with unusually poofy fur and chalk stains all over.

“This is Bubblegum.”

“…oh.”

“Bubblegum tried to eat Hito-nii’s hair yesterday.”

“…why?”

“Because he’s dumb.”

Toogata shrugged. “Fair enough.”


“What the hell is that?” Shigaraki demanded, staring at the pair of soft, cuddly spheres sitting on the floor.

“That’s XP and Ludo. XP is my emotional support animal –”

“And Ludo is my assistant.”

Shigaraki squinted at them. “Aren’t those the things that brat with the green hair orders around?”

“They’re popping up more and more,” Mr Compress told him eagerly. “They seem to imprint on whoever they see.”

Ludo cooed and shuffled over to burrow into Mr Compress’s hat.

“They’re so cute! Can I –”

“No, Himi-chan.”

“You’re boring, Spinner-chan.”

Twice prodded XP, who sneezed and cheerfully proceeded to nuzzle his hand. “He’s really cute! Ew, gross. When do I get one? Stay away.”

“Fine,” Shigaraki groaned. “Keep the pets. But they stay in here, okay? They can’t spy if we don’t let them out of the base…”


“Mirai-kun?” All Might peeped around the open doorway. “I came to visit! I see you’re out of your bandages.”

“Yes.” Sir Nighteye pushed his glasses back up his nose. “I recovered quite well. I’m back to working full time, in fact. I wondered when you might come in. I…”

An awkward silence.

“I… see Toogata-shounen is going well,” All Might said slowly.

“He is,” Sir Nighteye replied, unable to keep the pride from his voice. “And – um. Midoriya is going well too, I presume?”

“Yes, he… is.”

A green fluffle ambled across the desk.

“You…” All Might frowned. “You nearly died.”

“I probably should have,” Sir Nighteye said, shortly. Then, more calmly, “I – apologies. I did not mean to be so curt. My quirk has always been infallible, and yet…” He trailed off, giving All Might a significant look. The other glanced away.

“You have your own, now?” he asked. The change in topic was blatantly obvious, but Nighteye went with it nonetheless.

“Yes. Their name is Shredder.” He reached over, burying his fingers in soft fur. “They put clingfilm over the doorway yesterday.”

“Ah, yes, the green ones can be menaces, can’t they?”

“Mmm.”

 

“I… don’t want to hope.”

“Maybe. But you should.”

“Meep.”


“Why are there fluffles floating across the school, Midoriya-kun?”

Midoriya grinned, scribbling in his notebook. “Four hundred and ninety-five. Quirk training, Aizawa-sensei.”

“Quirk training, Midoriya-kun?”

“Yep! For Uraraka! Four hundred and ninety-six…We’re seeing how many she can float before she gets tired! Four hundred and ninety-seven – oh, hello, Shiitake – Her record is five-hundred and three.”

“And then?”

“She threw up, sensei. Four hundred and ninety-eight…”

The floating fluffles suddenly shrieked in unison and crashed to the ground. Aizawa hissed quietly, dodging a falling missile, and Midoriya huffed.

“Hm. Didn’t beat the record this time. Bad luck, Uraraka-san…”

 

Far away, there was a loud yelp and the Big Three collapsed onto the floor in a pile.

“Ow,” Toogata commented. “You’re heavier than you look, Tamaki-kun.”

“That’s it,” Hadou declared. “Peri, you’re grounded. I don’t know what you did to make Chicken Boy so scared of you, but you’re grounded. This is the third time this week!”

“She jumped out of the lockers and bit me on the nose.”

“Wha- PERI!”


Sometimes, locked up in his cell, the man known as All for One wondered if he should have done things differently.

Should he have been nicer to his brother?

Should he have murdered quite so many people?

Should he maybe not have emotionally manipulated everyone he met?

Should he have stayed the heck away from Doctor Garaki?

Should he have stolen that weird quirk that reminded him of the old days, before that one MMO closed down?

Nah. He was pretty satisfied with his life choices, actually.


“Box dimension.”

“Uh huh.”

“You’re telling me the fluffles have access to hammerspace.”

“Yep.”

“…so, if we put people…”

“Yep.”

“Holy shit. The League…”

“Yep!”

“Oh my god! They’re actually fucked!”

“YEP!”


“Why is that one staring at me?” Shigaraki grumbled.

The fluffle (whose name happened to be Sora) continued to stare at him.

Shigaraki scratched his neck with agitation. “I’m gonna –”

There was a sudden burst of light, and Izuku appeared, promptly punching Shigaraki in the face. “SMASH!” he shrieked, and Shigaraki flew across the room and smacked into the nearest wall.

“Meep,” Sora said smugly.

 

“I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD HAVE STABBED THE FLUFFLES!” Toga wailed, as Asui sat proudly on top of her and Kero tried to steal her hair ties.

“Shut up, ours were loyal,” Spinner grumbled. “XP bit the Bakugou kid on the ankle, if you’ve already forgotten.”

“It didn’t do anything, though. A valiant effort,” Twice piped up.

“Oh, will you fuckers shut up?” Katsuki groaned. “The little shit makes fifty bites and I’m going to fucking blow your faces off if you don’t let me bandage myself up in peace.”

“Fifty? Which one was forty-nine?” Ojiro asked, fiddling with Mr Compress’s quirk-restraining cuffs.

“Bacon. Again.”

“Kirishima likes tsunderes,” Ashido sang.

“RACCOON EYES, I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS UNHOLY –"

 

Fin.