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She sleeps with them sometimes.

Not too often where she can call it a regular occurrence, but often enough where she’s come to expect it after certain days. After thinking about a tough mission, then doing the tough mission, then healing from the tough mission especially.

They’re together. Megumi and Yuji. Officially. In every sense of the word. They’re out and proud and Gojo approved and they’re known. She’s so happy for them. She has to be.

When you’re in love with two people, it’s only natural to want to see them happy.

She wonders how often they spend the night in each other’s rooms when she’s not invited. She wonders how long it takes for them to fall asleep after she’s left them alone. She wonders if there was ever a possibility she could be apart of something more with them. Those thoughts are the only things keeping her going.

At the end of the day, though, they are a beautiful pair. They love her, she knows. She’s not a fucking idiot. But they don’t love her like they love each other, and she feels like an idiot for not moving the fuck on already.

It’s probably not healthy to have semi-occasional sex with the two men you’re in love only for them to not want a relationship with you. But she’ll probably never stop denying herself that short-lived pleasure for as long as she lives.

I need to get it through my fucking head, she thinks, after silently shutting Megumi’s bedroom door while the two engage in pillow talk. I need to be better than this.

Sometimes it’s hard to be strong and beautiful and smart all at once. Sometimes the beauty and strength outweigh the smart. Sometimes they all just disappear together for a short time. That usually happens after she excuses herself from their presence.

I’m not a fucking idiot, she thinks, I know when I’m not wanted I know when I’m not being appreciated.

-----

She got hit on once, while out scouting for a mission with the two of them. A loser nobody walked right up to her and asked her out. Said he liked the colour of her hair, and the way she “presents herself”, whatever the fuck that means. Nobara was going to shut him down. It was always her plan. She’s not that cruel to entertain some guy that she wouldn’t think of twice. Some guy that would be dumped the second she got the opportunity to spend another night with her the boys.

Nobara glanced at Megumi and Yuji, hopeful curious of their reactions. Couldn’t help but wonder if maybe, just maybe they might get a little jealous. Not that she needs them to, because like she says, Nobara is not a fucking idiot.

In that moment though, it was hard not to feel like one. They’re together. In a stable, happy, monogamous relationship. They glanced at her, then the man, then each other, and shrugged it off. That was it. Their only reaction. She wanted to fucking cry. She hated herself for wanting to fucking cry.

Poor dude has been waiting for an answer for upwards of, like, thirty seconds now. And the entire time she was having some lame ass eternal monologue about her unrequited feelings. Now that’s just rude.

“Yeah, no. Bye.” And she walked past him, past the two men she loved the most, and everyone else in that general vicinity too. She kept walking until she found a public washroom. Kept walking until she entered a stall, locked it, clamped her hands over her mouth, and cried.

She allowed herself five minutes. That’s probably enough time for them to get properly worried now. All the close calls they’ve had, they’ve all grown to get antsy when one of the trio is away for too long. She gets up, blots her face gently with a piece of tissue paper, reapplies her mascara, and moves on. She has more important things to worry about, and she heard there was a huge sale at a famous department store in the area. Nobara has her priorities in check.

Because at the end of the day, Nobara Kugisaki is not a fucking idiot.

 

 

 

 

But if it meant being with them, she could stand to lose a few braincells.