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For Fucks Sake

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This is how it started:

During a joint mission after action brief, (informal version, sans nat-born officers, and with the rest of Shebs Squad) Cody and Rex were discussing details. 

Rex sighed, “No, vod, that shiny is actually literally named Tup. He absolutely knows what it means and has to have done it on purpose.”

Cody, the oblivious idiot, said, “No way, not that sweet, earnest kid! I bet it’s got a perfectly innocent origin story. He’s just a speedie; an innocent baby.”

Rex pounced on the opportunity, “Oh you bet, do you? How much you wanna wager, vod?”

Cody stubbornly folded his arms and frowned, “I’ll bet you... an unspecified favor.”

“Oooooooo!!” chorused the rest of the CC’s. An unspecified favor was the most valuable collateral to vod’e who do not get paid. 

“You can't influence his story and it has to be told before witnesses, Rex,” Cody warned. 

“Yeah fair and square. I know there's no way I'm wrong; you’re going to owe me a favor. I’m so sure, I’ll bet an unspecified favor in return,” Rex fired back. The shebse all hoot again. 

“Oh I am going to enjoy collecting that, Rex’ika,” Cody grinned. 

“In your dreams, Kot’ika,” Rex grinned back. 


This is how it went down, to begin with:

A chorus of groans went up around the table as Fives laid down his last card, “Read ‘em and weep, tubies!” he crowed. “Who lost? It’s storytime, pay up!”

The rest of the players scrambled to count their cards and report their totals to DB, the scorekeeper. 

“Looks like... Tup,” he announced. The circle broke over, around, and under the card table, and reformed around tonight’s victim.  

“What’s it gonna be, kid?” Hevy prodded.

“Make it a real good one, vod,” Oz jibed.

“Tell us how you got your name!” Dogma called. 

(“Wait, You don’t know how he got his name? Thought you two were batchers?” Denal asked. 

“Nope, we were singles who got assigned here at the same time. He just attached himself to me on the ride in and wouldn’t quit. Actually we’re a whole cycle apart,” Dogma explained wryly. 

“Whoa, weird,” mused Denal.)

“Yeah, Tup, please do. I’ve got a bet with Commander Cody riding on it,” said Rex. 

“Really sir? What’s the bet?” Tup cocked his head inquisitively. 

Rex snickered darkly, “That’d be telling, never you mind. I’ll make sure you get something good if I win, though, so let’s hear it, verd’ika.” 

“It’s a long story,” Tup prevaricated, but this only served to whet his platoon’s interest more. They scooted closer, faces expectant. “Fine, gimme a drink first, though. Because in order to understand my name, I’m gonna have to tell you about all my batchers’ names too.”

“A whole batch-worth of namings? Dayum. For all that, you’ll need to be on center bunk for the next week at least!” enthused Nax.

“Ooh, yeah, stretch it out serial-like, Tup!” Koho urged.

“Sure, alright. Saves my voice if I do it a little at a time.”

“That’s what they say,” insinuated Ridge and everyone groaned at the paltry sex joke. Tup ignored the byplay. 

“Now who should I start with...”