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Do you shiver like I do?

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“Where is he taking you?” 

“A quiet Italian place downtown. High end,” Shang Qinghua responded, hopping as he slipped on his nicest shoes. “Don’t worry, it’s nowhere sketchy,” he added, blowing a stray hair away from his face before standing up and striking an ironic pose, “not too shabby, huh?”

Mobei Jun’s eyes dragged him up and down for a moment before he hummed in response. Mobei Jun had been Shang Qinghua’s best friend since they were children, that friendship stretching into adulthood and leading to the two of them sharing an apartment. They made for an odd pair with Shang Qinghua’s nervous energy and rambling compared to Mobei Jun’s cold and quiet demeanor but the two of them meshed well and were so used to each other’s mannerisms, Shang Qinghua couldn’t imagine sharing a home with anyone else. 

Though, all the meshing and chemistry was accumulating into a tangled mass that was becoming Shang Qinghua’s biggest problem. Not one of his problems that were easy to deal with, which normally stayed within the range of a draft for his novel deleting itself off his ancient computer or Cucumber-bro leaving hate comments on Shang Qinghua’s web novel as if he isn’t sitting on the same couch as Shang Qinghua and eating all his hard-earned snacks. Well, as hard-earned as one would consider his making puppy eyes at Mobei Jun at the grocery store because Mobei Jun is rich and can afford the better quality snacks.

This was a problem that could ruin everything. The sort of problem that arises when a young boy meets another young boy then saves him from some bullies, and in return is allowed to see those cold blue eyes soften in the corners. When that same boy is later allowed to hear the cold boy laugh and joke, allowed to see the rare smiles only reserved for his closest friend. The same boy grows up and watches the other grow up, noticing more and more how the other is getting broader, stronger, more handsome than what should even be legal. All the while, that boy stays the same. Talkative, jittery, short, round-faced, and too much of a coward to tell his best friend that he’s in love with him.

Life is rough when one’s heart insists on batting out of its league.

Shang Qinghua’s date sent him a text requesting to be buzzed in and Shang Qinghua did so. “Do I really look okay though? I stalked this guy’s insta and he dates such knock-outs, I want to look less like I spend most of my time snacking and hunched over a keyboard.”

Mobei Jun gave him a deadpan look before rolling his eyes as if the answer to Shang Qinghua’s question was obvious. Shang Qinghua panicked. Of course, he still looked like he spent most of his time snacking and hunched over a keyboard because that’s exactly what he does! 

Shang Qinghua opened the door for his date with a grin he hoped didn’t look too manic. “Hi, Ethan!”

Ethan grinned at him and stepped in. “You look great,” he appraised before turning to Mobei Jun. “Oh, you must be Mobei Jun! I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I can’t say the same,” Mobei Jun replied, blunt as ever. His eyes were deep blue shards of ice, frosty enough to make the bravest of men shiver.

To Ethan’s credit, his smile didn’t falter. “Awe, I hope to change that really soon! Shang Qinghua is such an adorable guy; I’d love to be someone he wants to talk about.”

Mobei Jun stared down at Ethan with clear disinterest. “I’m going to need a picture of your ID, the address of where you are going, and what make and model vehicle you will be using. Qinghua is to be home no later than midnight and if he returns home in a condition other than what he left in, I know people that can make you disappear and no one will ever find you. Am I understood?”

Ethan’s smile dropped and he turned several shades paler as he shakily pulled out his wallet and ID. Shang Qinghua laughed, attempting to ease the tension. 

“He’s joking. My mans really loves his jokes.. Right, Mobei Jun?” Shang Qinghua addressed his best friend.

“I’m not joking,” Mobei Jun responded, handing Ethan back his ID after taking a picture. “Have a nice time.”

Shang Qinghua slammed the door behind himself and Mobei Jun’s eyes narrowed. “Did something happen?”

“He got a booty call! While on a date with me!” Shang Qinghua nearly shouted. “What an asshole!”

“Well, you did meet him on Grindr,” Mobei Jun sighed, standing up from the couch. “Sit down.”

Shang Qinghua did as he was told, angrily tossing his fancy shoes at the door and unbuckling his belt before slinging it after them. He waited until Mobei Jun entered the living room to speak again. “I put on a belt for this guy!”

“High standards,” Mobei Jun commented, his voice dry as he held out a bowl of ice cream. He’d even added in chopped bananas, whipped cream, chocolate drizzle, and a cherry on top. 

“Fancy ice cream!” Shang Qinghua gasped, eagerly taking the bowl from his hands. Mobei Jun had made Shang Qinghua cry once and after a complete shitstorm of a friendship breakup and then some emotionally constipated forms of apology later, Shang Qinghua agreed to forgive his best friend if he were to make him food.

Shang Qinghua had long since forgotten why Mobei Jun had made him cry but ever since then, Mobei Jun seemed to always have snacks ready when Shang Qinghua was upset. As he got older and more self-conscious he suggested that maybe Mobei Jun shouldn’t make him snacks so often or else he’d gain weight. After being on the receiving end of a frosty glare, he determined it was best to not body-shame himself out loud in front of Mobei Jun again. Or either of his best friends for that matter. While Mobei jun merely glared, Shen Qingqiu always carried a fan and smacked people with it as if it was a hobby. Knowing him, it probably was.

Mobei Jun settled next to him on the couch and dutifully passed Shang Qinghua his fleece blanket with hamsters printed all over it, a gift from Mobei Jun himself. Shang Qinghua pulled the blanket over his lap before settling down and leaning against Mobei Jun while the taller man turned on the tv. “This really sucked, ya know?”

“Does it suck now?” Mobei Jun asked, always one to make a good point.

“No. No, it doesn’t,” Shang Qinghua sighed and Mobei Jun wrapped an arm around him as the movie began. “If I’m alone and single forever, you’ll still love me right?”

“I’ll always love you,” Mobei Jun said. 

They were the words Shang Qinghua wished for. The meaning behind them as they passed Mobei Jun’s lips was all wrong.

“I’ll always love you too,” Shang Qinghua said, too honest for his own good.

“Shut up and watch the movie, brat,” Mobei Jun mumbled, pinching Shang Qinghua’s cheek and pulling. 

“Owe! Owe! Not so hard!” Shang Qinghua whined.

Shang Qinghua was feeling rather proud of himself. He’d made it to date three with a guy without any disasters.

Jamil was handsome and had a warm smile and a novel that had been recently published. It was a flowery and poetic thing, much different than the plot-hole riddled web novel Shang Qinghua had sold himself out with. But still, it was nice to converse with a fellow writer.

Well, conversing was nice. What was happening now was arguably nicer. Shang Qinghua sighed, a soft puff of air, as Jamil’s hands wandered underneath his shirt. Mobei Jun was out having band practice with Luo Binghe and Sha Hualing so Shang Qinghua used the opportunity to achieve his end goal. Getting his metaphorical cherry popped. Getting laid. Getting railed. Whatever one wishes to call it. It had to happen and soon .

Why? Well, that was simply because Shang Qinghua was constantly in the presence of his godlike roommate who rarely wears shirts around the apartment. Shang Qinghua had even caught himself staring too many times to count, his mouth watering at the sight of Mobei Jun’s sculpted chest. He had several tattoos too. Shang Qinghua often fantasized about running his tongue over the inked markings on Mobei Jun’s skin. Asking him if they hurt as Mobei Jun slips a finger inside him dry, his mouth quirking up in the corner as he repeats Shang Qinghua’s own question back to him with a dry lilt to his voice as if he was unaffected by Shang Qinghua writhing around his finger.

Shang Qinghua sucked on Jamil’s tongue, making the man gasp and pull him closer. Their hips aligned just right and Shang Qinghua moaned against the other man’s mouth before pulling back, smirking as Jamil chased his lips. He ground his hips into the other man’s, moaning at the friction on his erection, his eyes sliding closed as his mind moved without his permission to a familiar body against his, much bigger than Jamil, and large hands splayed across his back as Shang Qinghua was held close to someone he loves. Jamil ground down against him again and Shang Qinghua assumed now would be a good queue to take things to the bedroom. He said so, his voice breathless and gasping, and was confused when Jamil suddenly stopped.

It hit him then. His words he had carelessly spoken. 

“Take me to bed, Mobei Jun.”

Shang Qinghua grimaced as Jamil pushed off of him. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that-”

“I like you, Qinghua,” Jamil interrupted, reaching for his shoes. “But you say you don’t know why you said that and I know that’s a lie because you do know why you did it.”

“Mobei Jun and I are just friends,” Shang Qinghua told him, his heart pounding.

“Mobei Jun treats your dates like they’re handling a rare treasure and you just laugh and make excuses about his behavior!” Jamil snapped. “I’ve endured the humiliation and disrespect from your roommate but you’ll have to excuse my abhorrence with being called his name in an intimate situation.”

“It was an accident!” Shang Qinghua said again, his voice shaking. “We’re just friends.”

“Tell him that. I, for one, would be happy to continue to see you if you were to cut him off,” Jamil told him, still gathering his things to leave.

“Cut him off?” Shang Qinghua echoed, his face turning hot in a way that had nothing to do with his previous embarrassment.

“Stop seeing him,” Jamil explained, flicking his hand. “The man is obsessed with you and no man is going to want to deal with his nonsense just to have you.”

“That man has been my closest and dearest friend since I was a child and I will never cut him off nor will I ever entertain the idea-”

“He-” Jamil began but Shang QInghua wasn’t done.

“I don’t give a fuck what he does! He’s protective of me and I like that! I like being shown that I’m cared about and safe! I don’t even need a whole hand to count the people in this world that I give a fuck about and you, Jamil, are not on that list.”

Jamil huffed, shrugging on his jacket and heading for the door. “You’ll end up alone.”

“Jokes on you, asshole, I’m already alone!” Shang Qinghua snapped just as the door slammed behind Jamil.

Well, there goes that.

Shang Qinghua stayed where he was, lost in thought until Mobei Jun came home.

“How was your date?” Movie Jun asked, blunt and straightforward. It came off as rude to others but Shang Qinghua found Mobei Jun’s blunt honesty comforting. It was pleasant to not have to play games with someone to find out their feelings and intentions. 

“We won’t be seeing each other anymore,” Shang Qinghua sniffed, not meeting Mobei Jun’s eyes. 

“Mhm,” Movie Jun hummed, tilting his head. “Ice cream, nuts, or chips?”

“Melon seeds?” 


If there was one thing Shang Qinghua was good at, it was bad ideas. He was so skilled at them that some would even call him a master- a bonafide once-in-a-generation master of bad ideas. Usually, his bad ideas ended up as hilarious stories to tell the bros. Like that time he and Cucumber-bro went to the beach on a cold and rainy day at Shang Qinghua’s insistence that it was for the sake of adventure. They’d both come down with terrible colds from the weather.

This, however, didn’t seem like the sort of situation that would end up being worth a laugh at all. 

Let’s have a group date , he’d said. It’ll be fun , he’d said. We can all be friends and get to know each other , he’d said.

Really, he hadn’t wanted a repeat of a potential boyfriend not working out because he hadn’t gotten to know Mobei Jun enough to know he was just protective of Shang Qinghua in a tragically platonic way and isn’t as rude as he seems.

So he’d talked Cucumber-bro, Luo Binghe, and Sha Hualing into coming along with him, his date, and Mobei Jun to a new Chinese place that had recently opened. Shang Qinghua was mostly excited to try the noodles and the opportunity to hang out with friends and his most recent fling. 

Wang Lei was a good conversationalist and a serious flirt but Shang Qinghua had learned his lesson about getting too spicy too soon with his flings so he’d been holding back and waiting for when it felt right. Well, right enough for Shang Qinghua to not be fantasizing about his hot roommate during the sex. That could take a while. Even if Wang Lei was hot and the bassist in an up-and-coming rock band. 

This thought process had led to the current situation, which was about as comfortable as sitting on a chair made entirely of needles. 

“I’m not a failed musician,” Wang Lei said, eyeing Mobei Jun from across the table. “I’m just in the process of becoming successful.”

“Tell me,” Mobei Jun said, meeting Wang Lei’s glare over the rim of his glass as he took a slow and deliberate sip. “Where do you see Qinghua in that sort of lifestyle?”

“What sort of question is that?” Wang Lei asked him.

“You didn’t answer it,” Mobei Jun pointed out. “Shang Qinghua isn’t a groupie fanboy that can be tugged around so casually.”

Shang Qinghua couldn’t exactly explain to Mobei Jun that he’d turned Shang Qinghua into such a horny and lovesick mess that he was desperate enough to be a groupie fanboy that can and will be tugged around so casually. Qinghua’s box can stay closed, thank you. It can stay closed and tucked away safely in his mental horny jail.

“I love groupies!” Sha Hualing announced, taking her seat. “Shang Qinghua, look at you! Fucking the band! I’m so proud!”

“He’s not fucking the band,” Mobei Jun nearly growled.

“Awe, why shouldn’t he?” Sha Hualing mock pouted before reaching out and poking Mobei Jun’s cheek and laughing when he jerked away. “Is that any way to treat your date, Jun-Jun?”

“We’re not on a date.”

“Would you rather be the third wheel to hamster boy and his hot boy toy?”

Mobei Jun stayed silent, his jaw tensing, and Sha Hualing giggled again before turning to Wang Lei, her gaze appraising. “You’re hot. You’re either a drummer or bassist, huh?”

“Bassist, actually,” Wang Lei responded, his voice dropping several octaves. “Shang Qinghua didn’t tell me he had friends much more pleasant on the eyes than the other one.”

Shang Qinghua and Mobei Jun shared a look across the table as Luo Binghe took his seat. Luo Binghe nodded in greeting at Mobei Jun before giving Wang Lei a look so judgemental it made Shang Qinghua grimace in sympathy for his date. He forgets sometimes that his friend group can be judgemental assholes. The most judgemental asshole hadn’t even shown up yet!

As if summoned by Shang Qinghua’s thoughts, Shen Qingqiu’s arrival was announced by Luo Binghe’s sudden shift in demeanor and the high pitch and lilt to his voice as he called out, “Shizun! Shizun! We’re over here!”

“Your name means ‘Pile of Rocks,’” Mobei Jun was saying as Shang Qinghua turned and waved at his other best friend. He was making attempts to tune the two men out but bits of their conversation were still getting to him.

“So I’m stupid,” Wang Lei snarled.

“You said it,” Mobei Jun responded, casual and monotone as ever.

Shen Qingqiu took in the scene and raised an eyebrow before sitting down next to Shang Qinghua and across from Luo Binghe. He flicked out his fan to cover his mouth and leaned into Shang Qinghua’s space. “What are they arguing over?”

“I’m not entirely sure?” Shang Qinghua admitted, confused. “Maybe they have clashing personalities?”

“And what do you know about the music industry!?” Wang Lei snapped again.

Mobei Jun calmly jutted his thumb at Luo Binghe, who was seated next to him. “Luo Binghe, lead singer of Proud Immortal Demon Way.” He then made the same gesture at Sha Hualing. “Lead Guitarist.” Then himself. “Bassist.”

There was a tense silence before Sha Hualing piped up. “I’m also the lead groupie fucker because both of these dumbasses refuse to do it. Too busy simping for pretty boys.”

Shang Qinghua felt his chest tighten and waited in the silence that followed, hoping Mobei Jun would deny her words. His silence spoke volumes.

Well, it was going to happen eventually. 

Shang Qinghua attempted a laugh, it sounded rough and jagged even to his own ears. “A pretty boy? Why didn’t you invite him?” 

Mobei Jun didn’t respond, his jaw growing tense and his ears turning a faint shade of pink. Luo Binghe looked between the two roommates before speaking up. “Mobei Jun, you’re not supposed to just tell everyone who we are! I want quiet nights with my Shizun sometimes.”

“There was a band poster on the side of this building we’re in,” Mobei Jun responded dryly.

“I’m sorry, you keep calling him ‘Shizun’ and I’m confused,” Wang Lei interjected. “What did he teach you?”

“I was a TA in one of his college classes,” Shen Qingqiu answered.

“He taught me to fuck,” Luo Binghe answered at the same time.

“My friends, huh?” Shang Qinghua laughed, growing more uncomfortable by the minute. “A lot of jokesters.”

He hoped his commentary would distract Wang Lei from the domestic spat happening at Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu’s end of the table but quickly realized his commentary wasn’t necessary because Wang Lei had demoted himself from bassist to groupie that can be tugged around casually by Sha Hualing’s red nailed fingers. He sighed. Five and a half dates total was going to be his standing record for a while, it seemed.

Shang Qinghua was beginning to feel pathetic.

The server took their orders and the rest of the dinner passed by without incident. Mostly because Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu were getting lost in their own world, as the two of them tended to do while Sha Hualing and Wang Lei shamelessly flirted, despite Wang Lei sitting directly next to his actual date. 

Shang Qinghua sent Mobei Jun an exasperated look and he returned it with the smallest tilt of his brow and a jerk of his chin that would go unnoticed by anyone other than Shang Qinghua, who has had years of learning Mobei Jun’s subtle gestures. This one clearly read: Let’s get the fuck out of here ASAP.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Shang Qinghua announced, standing up from the table quickly. 

Mobei Jun stood as well, pulling out his wallet and counting out enough money for both their meals and a tip before laying it on the table. “Me too.”

The two of them stopped by a bakery on the way home and bought a variety of desserts that Shang Qinghua promptly dug into as soon as they got home. “Do you think they are going home together?” he asked Mobei Jun as they settled in for their nightly movie.

“Probably. He was a scumbag,” Mobei Jun commented. 

“You’re so critical of my dates,” Shang Qinghua laughed. “I wouldn’t be so critical of your crush, you know.”

“You would actually.”

“I would not!” Shang Qinghua smacked Mobei Jun’s arm for emphasis. “I may be unwanted and forever alone but I refuse to be bitter about it.”

Mobei Jun’s face was completely deadpan as he responded. “How’s your novel coming along, Mr. Forever Alone and Unwanted?”

“Ugh,” Shang Qinghua dropped the original subject and leaned against Mobei Jun’s chest, blushing at the rumble of a chuckle against his cheek as a heavy arm looped around his waist. “Well, I’m having a dilemma. Cucumber-bro said I’m bad at writing sex and like, yeah I am but with good reason! One, my published novel is oversaturated with hets because that’s where I get my rent money, ya know? But then I decided to write self-indulgent BL and now I’m having writer’s block because I’m so much of a dumbass I don’t know how to write sex for my own sexuality!”

“Shen Qingqiu can hardly make fun of your lack of bedroom knowledge when he’s only had sex with Luo Binghe.”

“Eh, good point,” Shang Qinghua snickered. “Shizuunn~” he whined, imitating Luo Binghe’s voice.

“Where’s the block?” Mobei Jun inquired, shaking his head in amusement.

Shang Qinghua leaned forward and grabbed his laptop from the coffee table before returning to his position and opening it. 

“The sound effects,” Mobei Jun huffed a small laugh as he read it over.

“Well, Wise-Guy, what sound effects should I use instead?” Shang Qinghua snarked.

“Why are you calling it ‘papapa?’” Mobei Jun’s was growing more amused. 

“Ya know, sex makes a ‘papapa’ sound?” Shang Qinghua attempted not to laugh but Mobei Jun was making it hard. “I was attempting to write from the POV of the top-”

“Out of your comfort zone.”

Shang Qinghua burst out laughing then. “You say my dates are all scumbags but you’re just as bad, if not worse!”

“So you’re saying you’re not a bottom?” 

“What I’m saying is that you can’t just make assumptions,” Shang Qinghua huffed.

“Every time you find a male character attractive you always either want him to step on you or bend you over the nearest available surface. Your words, not mine.”

Shang Qinghua’s face heated and he turned away, suddenly unable to look Mobei Jun in the eye. “Remind me to block you on twitter.” 

“I know all your passwords and can unblock myself,” Mobei Jun pointed out.

“Funny,” Shang Qinghua scrunched his nose at Mobei Jun and was punished by a pinch on the cheek before returning back to the subject at hand. “Anyway, the top is a bit quiet but the bottom is I don’t know… too wailey?”

“So what you’re asking is…?”

“What I’m asking is what you, a top, wants to hear,” Shang Qinghua pressed.

“You assume I top,” Mobei Jun sounded amused. “Hypocrite.”

“Oh hush, what do you want to hear?”

Mobei Jun suddenly pinched him on the ass and Shang Qinghua jumped and wiggled closer. “Ah! Ah! Mobei- Mobei Jun, that hurts!” he whined, his voice shaking with shyness. Did this count as groping!? Surely this had to count as groping! Mobei Jun groped him! Platonically, but still ! Shang Qinghua could die right now, a happy man!

“That answer your question?” Mobei Jun asked him, releasing his poor bottom.

Shang Qinghua was no longer sure what the question was, much less how that was any sort of an answer.

Shang Qinghua’s mouth opened in a silent gasp as he stroked his insides just right. His legs shifted on the bed, wanting to move but having no real purpose for doing anything other than staying open while Shang Qinghua pleasured himself.

Mobei Jun had band practice and Shang Qinghua was using the time alone to get off without the fear of Mobei Jun overhearing him. 

It wasn’t that he was loud, per se, but sometimes little noises bubbled up without his permission and when he was lost in thought he had an awful habit of speaking them out loud. Of course, his thoughts centered around Mobei Jun, and after gasping out the name and having several close calls, one of which involved Mobei Jun knocking on his door and asking if he called for him, he’d decided to just wait until he was alone.

Shang Qinghua added another finger and bit his lip to stifle the noise out of habit before beginning to work his hand over his neglected cock. 

It was a pleasant session. Mobei Jun’s pinching had left a light bruise and Shang Qinghua was aware of the faint soreness where the bruise was located as he imagined Mobei Jun painting the rest of his body with bruises to show what Shang Qinghua had done with him. To show who Shang Qinghua belonged to. To show who Mobei Jun belonged to.

His hand movements were becoming synchronized, moving at a nearly perfect pace even as Shang Qinghua’s legs kicked and slid across the sheets with pleasure.

It was all going spectacularly until the door opened. “Mobei Jun!” Shang Qinghua shouted, coming into one hand and clenching around his fingers as his body trembled from orgasm.

Mobei Jun stood there for a long moment before averting his eyes. “Band practice was canceled,” he muttered before turning on his heel and closing the door.

Shang Qinghua panted, his face flaming. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” he hissed, moving to cover his face then realizing what he was about to do. “Fuck!” he said again.

A few minutes later Shang Qinghua ventured out of his room, his face still a deep shade of red. He could explain that away! He’d said Mobei Jun’s name while coming because his orgasm happened to hit right at the same moment he was telling his friend that he needed to stay out of his room. Good story. Fantastic story. This is why Shang Qinghua was a writer.

He could hear faint music as he approached Mobei Jun’s door. He honestly should’ve learned not to walk into someone’s room without knocking long before but he and Mobei Jun were always just comfortable with each other to the point of their mannerisms around one another being read as rude by others. But really, there had to be a line somewhere

Shang Qinghua was hit with the realization that boundaries were sorely needed as he was greeted with the sight of Mobei Jun’s dick. His mouth went dry and he knew he should do something like walk away or look at Mobei Jun’s face and apologize instead of watching how Mobei Jun’s large hands really didn’t seem that large over his own cock.

“Qinghua,” Mobei Jun said, snapping Shang Qinghua’s eyes up to meet his piercing blue gaze. One eyebrow was lifted slightly, a glint of something like a challenge in his eyes as he continued to masturbate as if Shang Qinghua wasn’t in the room.

“I um- I- I was- Oh fuck! I’m so sorry!” Shang Qinghua shrieked, covering his face and walking backward out of the room before fumbling to close the door with his eyes still closed. He didn’t open them until he was safely shut out into the hallway. 

A few hours later they were on the couch for their quality movie time as if nothing happened today. To Mobei Jun, it probably wasn’t a big deal. He wasn’t in love with Shang Qinghua like Shang Qinghua was in love with him.

“I mean, it’s funny in hindsight,” Shang Qinghua blurted, breaking their silence while watching the movie.


“Walking in on each other,” Shang Qinghua explained, glad they’d turn the lights out so Mobei Jun couldn’t see his blush. “I guess it’s a roomie right of passage.”

Movie Jun stayed silent, seemingly comfortable with whatever had happened. Shang Qinghua couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“I’m uh, sorry I said your name,” Shang Qinghua rambled on. “You had walked in right as I was… you know… and it was an honest mistake. I’d meant to say something else!”

Mobei Jun tensed. “Something else?”

“Uh yeah,” Shang Qinghua giggled to cover his nerves. “I was thinking about… um… Sesshomaru?”

There was a beat of silence. “The demon from that anime?”


Mobei Jun relaxed slightly and huffed, pulling Shang Qinghua closer. “Silly. Watch the movie.” Shang Qinghua blushed but obeyed, laying his head on Mobei Jun’s chest as Mobei Jun pulled the throw blanket over the both of them.

Shang Qinghua could almost pretend that Mobei Jun was his boyfriend and they were cuddling because they were so in love they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

The unfortunate reality was that Shang Qinghua’s heart was batting so far out of its league that Mobei Jun had seen him in a sexual situation and still didn’t view him as a potential romantic or sexual partner.

He told himself that attraction was subjective but something about someone looking at you and seeing you do such a private thing and not seemed to care… it really messes with your self esteem.

“A STEM major!?” Shang Qinghua cackled, nearly spilling his coffee. “Me!? Dating a guy with a STEM major!? Cucumber bro, I love your jokes so much.”

Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes and flicked out his fan. “I’m not joking. He seems grumpy at first but he’s a really good guy. Not like the douchebags you’ve been dating lately. Besides,” he paused, eyeing Shang Qinghua over the top of his fan, “you like grumpy men.”

“How dare you,” Shang Qinghua scoffed. “I do not like grumpy men!” He didn’t! At least, that’s what he would say out loud. Cucumber-bro knew a lot of embarrassing things about him but he wouldn’t be caught dead admitting out loud that he’s a shameless quivering M!

“You do. At least, the only person I’ve seen you actually like is the grouchiest person I know,” Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes. 

“I would actually really love to introduce you to Luo Binghe when he’s not around you, then,” Shang Qinghua retorted. 

“Come on, Airplane-bro! I’ve never led you astray before,” Shen Qingqiu tugged at his arm. “He’s hot and respectful.”

“Then why don’t you date him?” Shang Qinghua snarked.

Shen Qingqiu got a strange look on his face but it was gone in an instant. “I have a boyfriend. Will you go on a date with him or would you rather take your chances with Grindr?”

Ouch. Shang Qinghua had to admit that Shen Qingqiu, as with most things, had a valid point.

“Fine, I will. If he’s a creep you owe me bigtime.”

“I have no clue why Shen Qingqiu insisted on setting me up with his friend as my date to one of your band’s concerts,” Shang Qinghua groused as he pulled his hair into a bun. “You would think he learned from the last time I brought a guy around the group. Is Sha Hualing still fucking him?”

“Nope,” Mobei Jun responded, clearly disinterested in the conversation.

“He’s apparently hot though, and for Shen Qingqiu to admit that, it must be true. And you’re going to love this part,” Shang Qinghua added, leaning around the corner to scrunch his nose at Mobei Jun, “he’s respectful.”

“He better be,” Mobei Jun commented. “I’m heading out.”

“Okay, I’ll be ready in just a few minutes,” Shang Qinghua told him.

“Maybe you should meet your date there,” Mobei Jun’s voice was cold and sharp in a way Shang Qinghua hadn’t heard in a long time. 

“Mobei Jun?” he questioned, his heart clenching. “I always help you guys set up…”

Mobei Jun acted as if he didn’t hear him as he walked out the door.

Shang Qinghua finished getting dressed, both feeling hurt and confused. What was with Mobei Jun all of a sudden? They were fine before, better than fine.

Ever since the incident, Mobei Jun had even seemed more affectionate. Which, Shang Qinghua guess that seeing your best friend masturbate had to erase any boundaries the two of them had left. So why was it that he was upset?

Did he figure out why Shang Qinghua had said his name? Was he trying to put distance between them before eventually cutting ties?

Shang Qinghua was sure he couldn’t live without Mobei Jun in his life and resolved to himself that he would talk to him, figure it out. They’d been best friends since they were five, for fucks sake! Shang Qinghua’s silly feelings couldn’t be allowed to get in the way of that. He couldn’t allow that to happen. It didn’t matter if Mobei Jun rejected him as long as he would stay. 

As long as he wouldn’t leave and take the other half of Shang Qinghua’s soul with him.

Shang Qinghua faked a smile as he approached Shen Qingqiu and his and Luo Binghe’s roommate, Liu Qingge. “Hi! Have either of you seen Mobei Jun?”

“He’s setting up and is busy,” Shen Qingqiu flicked out his fan in annoyance. “I came over here so I didn’t have to see all the girls fawning over Luo Binghe while he sets up.”

“Jealous?” Shang Qinghua teased.

“I don’t get jealous and besides, he’s gay,” Shen Qingqiu huffed. “It’s just annoying to think of their audacity.”

“Speaking of audacity, where’s my next failed date so I can get it over with?” Shang Qinghua joked.

Shen Qingqiu looked amused as he gestured at Liu Qingge. “He’s all yours.”

“Aren’t blind dates supposed to be people you don’t know?” Shang Qinghua addressed Liu Qingge, amused.

“Since when do either of my roommates pay attention to any rules?” Liu Qingge asked him, deadpan but clearly hiding his amusement. “I can’t even get them to quiet down when they fuck.”

Shang Qinghua laughed as Shen Qingqiu smacked Liu Qingge with his fan in retaliation. He wasn’t romantically interested in him and had always suspected Shen Qingqiu was, which made this situation surprising. However, Liu Qingge was a good guy, albeit a bit grumpy, and he and Shang Qinghua got along well. Liu Qingge was Shang Qinghua’s go-to partner on smash bros when Mobei Jun wasn’t playing, after all.

The concert, as usual, went perfectly. Luo Binghe was made for the stage, despite his eyes almost never leaving Shen Qingqiu as he sang. Sha Hualing was a dazzling presence next to him and Mobei Jun’s menacing aura and size offset the flair his other bandmates possessed. 

After their last set, Luo Binghe began his usual farewell speech. “As always, thank you for coming! Especially my Shizun. I wouldn’t be anything without you,” he blew a kiss at Shen Qingqiu, who covered his smirk with his fan when women nearby turned to glare daggers at him. “This was going to be our last set but we actually have a surprise! Our new original song, written and sang by Mobei Jun!”

He stepped back from the mic as the crowd erupted into cheers. Luo Binghe had mixed reviews from Proud Immortal Demon Way fans but Mobei Jun was widely favored so this song was truly a monumental surprise to fans.

It was also a surprise to Shang Qinghua, who hadn’t heard it. Why hadn’t Mobei Jun told him? Was it so much of a secret he couldn’t tell his best friend? They told each other everything.

Shang Qinghua realized then, that it was actually almost everything. Maybe that was the problem.

Mobei Jun stepped up to the mic and the band started playing a tune much more mellow than their usual style, though the crowd was so excited at the prospect of the illusive Mobei Jun singing that they didn’t mind the change in ambiance.

Shang Qinghua had never heard Mobei Jun sing. Not in the car. Not in the shower. Hell, he wasn’t aware Mobei Jun was capable of singing, as it tended to require a display of emotion. As Mobei Jun began to sing, Shang Qinghua felt his heart stop for a moment.

So I look in your direction

But you pay me no attention, do you?

I know you don't listen to me

'Cause you say you see straight through me

Don't you?”


His voice was low and silky… and the most beautiful thing Shang Qinghua had ever heard. He stood awestruck in the crowd as Mobei Jun locked eyes with him.


“But on and on

From the moment I wake

To the moment I sleep

I'll be there by your side

Just you try and stop me

I'll be waiting in line

Just to see if you care

Oh, did you want me to change?

Well I'd change for good

And I want you to know that you'll always get your way

And I wanted to say”


Shang Qinghua was sure he wasn’t breathing as tears filled his eyes. 


“Don't you shiver

Don't you shiver

I'll sing it loud and clear

And I'll always be waiting for you

So you know how much I need you

But you never even see me do you?

And is this my final chance of getting you?”


This wasn’t fair. This wasn’t fucking fair at all. Sha Hualing had mentioned that Mobei Jun had a crush on someone and he hadn’t denied it. Shang Qinghua wondered what sort of guy could evoke this much emotion from Mobei Jun and if the guy even realized what an amazing man he had, how lucky he was. 


“Don't you shiver

Don't you shiver

I'll sing it loud and clear

I'll always be waiting for you”


Did Mobei Jun ever sing to him as he held him? Did this guy know that Mobei Jun has a front he puts on for the world and is actually a sweet and earnest man in his heart? Does he know that he’s the luckiest man on earth to have Mobei Jun love him, to have Mobei Jun want him!? 


“Yeah I'll always be waiting for you

Yeah I'll always be waiting for you

Yeah I'll always be waiting for you”

Shang Qinghua couldn’t take it anymore. He broke eye contact with Mobei Jun and turned to Liu Qingge. “I have a headache. Want to go eat somewhere and come back for the afterparty?”

“Sure,” Liu Qingge responded, flicking a glance at the stage before turning his gaze back to Shang Qinghua. “Are you alright?”

“No,” he admitted.


“For you, I will always be waiting

And it's you I see

But you don't see me

And it's you, I hear

So loud and so clear

I sing it loud and clear”

Why did he have to be so stupid and fall in love with someone who would never love him back? He pushed his way through the crowd, his tears beginning to fall freely as the lyrics perfectly summed up how he was feeling. Ironic that the man he loves feels the same way about someone else. 


“And I'll always be waiting for you

So I look in your direction

But you pay me no attention

And you know how much I need you

But you never even see me…”

“So you’re in love with Mobei Jun,” Liu Qingge observed over their shared pizza. “Not surprising in the slightest.”

“How so?” Shang Qinghua asked him, attempting to bury his misery in cheese.

“He’s dreamy and the two of you seem close. I thought you were together until you showed up as my date,” Liu Qingge shrugged.

“It’s so flattering you think I could land a guy like him,” Shang Qinghua chuckled, though it was dry and shaky. “He’s so far out of my league it’s pathetic that I even thought about him this way. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t think I had a chance but I found out recently that he’s got a crush on someone and now that I heard that song… he seems to be in love and-” he took a shuddering breath. “I don’t think this is polite date talk.”

Liu Qingge seemed like he wanted to say something but thought against it. Instead, he said, “I think you’re being too critical of yourself. You’re gorgeous, not that looks matter anyway.”

“I look like a hamster,” Shang Qinghua nearly wailed. 

“Hamsters are cute,” Liu Qingge pointed out, a bit aggressive and forceful for such an innocent statement. 

Cute doesn’t belong with sexy and godlike !” Shang Qinghua said back, matching his aggression. 

Liu Qingge opened his mouth but his phone chimed. He read the text. “Shen Qingqiu said everyone thinks we snuck off for a quickie and Sha Hualing said to tell you ‘Congratulations on your popped cherry.’” Shang Qinghua choked on his drink but Liu Qingge continued. “They sent us the address for the afterparty and said we should head there.” 

Shang Qinghua must’ve looked miserable because Liu Qingge seemed hesitant. “Are you alright to go?”

“Yeah, I live with him so I might as well get used to my misery in public where I can practice not making a scene,” Shang Qinghua sighed.

The afterparty was crowded and Shang Qinghua held Liu Qingge’s hand so they wouldn’t be separated as they navigated their way through the crowd and into the common room. Shen Qingqiu was playing pool with a group of guys while Luo Binghe leaned on a pool cue and admired the view. “You’re doing so amazing, Shizun!”

“I haven’t done anything yet,” Shen Qingqiu pointed out. 

Shang Qinghua approached, releasing Liu Qingge’s hand. “Where’s Mobei Jun?”

“He’s busy,” Luo Binghe dismissed. 

Sha Hualing laughed from where she was leaning against the wall. “I can take you to him.”

“Oh really?” Shang Qinghua perked up. “Thank you.”

Shen Qingqiu moved to say something but Luo Binghe stepped in front of him and told him something in a low voice. Whatever it was made him close his mouth and look away, unable to meet Shang Qinghua’s confused gaze. 

He sent an apologetic look to Liu Qingge but followed after Sha Hualing, determined. He was going to talk to Mobei Jun and get everything out in the open, no matter how embarrassing and painful. 

They paused in front of a bedroom door and Shang Qinghua’s brows furrowed. Sha Hualing opened the door and shoved Shang Qinghua in, closing the door behind him.

Mobei Jun was with someone. A beautiful someone who was on his knees in front of Mobei Jun, his lips around his cock, gripping onto the denim of his jeans. Mobei Jun had his hand fisted in the other man’s hair, glaring down at him. He looked up when Shang Qinghua’s mouth betrayed him and let out a strangled noise of shock.

“Qinghua?” Mobei Jun looked shocked as well, the most amount of emotion he’d seen from his best friend. Shang Qinghua only felt sick.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped out, his eyes filling with tears again. “I didn’t know-”

“Qinghua, it’s not-”

Shang Qinghua didn’t listen as he bolted from the room and down the stairs, barely able to see. Someone caught him by the shoulder and he jerked away. “Don’t touch me!” He turned to see Liu Qingge and his shoulders drooped in misery. He saw Mobei Jun rushing down the stairs from the corner of his eye and grabbed Liu Qingge’s hand. “Let’s leave now and just get really fucking drunk. So drunk I can’t think. Can we do that?” 

“Yeah, we can do that,” Liu Qingge told him, pulling him along. “Luo Binghe knew what he was doing when he let Sha Hualing send you up there. He’s so conniving and fucked up sometimes.”

“Qinghua,” Mobei Jun’s voice stopped them. He’d caught up.

Shang Qinghua couldn’t look at him. “Why are you down here? Weren’t you busy?”

“Stay and I’ll explain-” Mobei Jun attempted, grabbing at Shang Qinghua’s wrist.

“Don’t touch me!” he shouted, whirling around. “Don’t fucking touch me with the hands you just used to touch him!”

They were making a scene and several party-goers were watching, some pulling out their phones.


“I can’t take it,” Shang Qinghua interrupted. “I can’t- I can’t fucking take it.”

“Take what?” Mobei Jun asked him, his voice growing cold. “Seeing me with someone else? Just like I do every fucking week?”

Shang Qinghua felt his face grow hot. “We’re just friends. Why would I care if I saw you with someone? It was just disgusting to look at and I’d rather you not touch me.”

Mobei Jun’s face grew colder and more closed off with every word that left Shang Qinghua’s mouth. 

“Is that how you feel, then?”

Shang Qinghua didn’t answer. He just left. 

“I’m in love with Shen Qingqiu,” Liu Qingge told Shang Qinghua, passing him a beer. They sat at the top of the tall slide in the park near Shang Qinghua’s apartment. 

“Isn’t everyone a bit in love with him? He’s tall and slender and the intellectual type,” Shang Qinghua sighed, taking a swig.

“... And Luo Binghe,” Liu Qingge added.

“Ouch,” Shang Qinghua muttered. “I’m sorry.” He wasn’t sure if he meant he was sorry Liu Qingge was in love with two people who were so in love with each other it was a bit gross to look at or if he was sorry that one of those people happened to be Luo Binghe. Luo Binghe was… a lot.

“Don’t be. I just want you to know I understand. I’ve walked in on them before and it was… rough. Even when you know, it’s still different to see it.”

“Maybe deep down I hoped that when I told him how I felt he would somehow against all odds feel the same way,” Shang Qinghua said. “Now i feel… empty. I don’t know what to do. What do we do when we can’t have love?”

Liu Qingge eyed him for a moment before leaning in and kissing him on the corner of the mouth. Shang Qinghua followed his mouth and kissed him, looping his arms around the bigger man’s neck. It was nice. Liu Qingge was a gentle kisser.  

Shang Qinghua pulled back sighed. “Let’s fuck. We’ll probably feel better afterward.”

“Should we?” Liu Qingge hummed. “What beer is that?”

“Not enough yet,” Shang Qinghua muttered before chugging down the rest. “Pass me another.” 

Liu Qingge did so before catching up to Shang Qinghua, clearly wanting to cheer him up. They spent the next few hours drinking and completely derailing from their earlier topic. Shang Qinghua could almost forget why he was upset to begin with.

“You’re a nice guy, Qingge,” Shang Qinghua murmured, drunkenly leaning against him. “I’d totally date you.”

“Would you?” Liu Qingge prompted, sounding amused.

“Hmm… no,” Shang Qinghua giggled. “Wait, aren’t we supposed to fuck?”

“Do you honestly want to pity fuck each other?” Liu Qingge asked him, his words soft but slurred from alcohol.

“Well, when you put it like that…'' Shang Qinghua trailed off. “I’m tired,” he said after a moment.

“Here, I’ll take you home,” Liu Qingge told him, adjusting Shang Qinghua so he could slide down before sliding down after him.

“I don’t wanna,” Shang Qinghua whined, refusing to budge from the end of the slide. He forgot that the slide was so low to the ground his knees were scrunched up so it was easy for Liu Qingge to step off the slide from behind him before looping around and helping Shang Qinghua to his feet.

“You have to.”

“The park can be my home,” Shang Qinghua pouted. “I’ll live in the jungle gym.”

“You can’t live in the jungle gym,” Liu Qingge deadpanned as he pulled him along by his hand like a child.

Shang Qinghua collapsed on the couch, gripping Liu Qingge like a squid. “Don’t go. Just stay with me-”

“Has anyone ever told you, you’re a clingy drunk?” Liu Qingge asked him, attempting to disentangle himself. “Next time you’re getting juice and no alcohol.”

“Why are you here?” Mobei Jun’s voice spoke up.

“I live here,” Shang Qinghua burst into giggles, releasing Liu Qingge finally. “Silly.”

Liu Qingge answered, “he was too drunk to get home safely by himself.”

“Oh! Wait! Wait! Qingge, we’re not supposed to be talking to him!” Shang Qinghua panicked, rolling to face the two men. “Why are we not supposed to again?”

Mobei Jun sighed before approaching and picking Shang Qinghua up easily. He carried Shang Qinghua to his bedroom before setting him down gently on the bed and then moving to his closet and grabbing his favorite pair of hamster pajamas. 

“We went to the park and played on the slide,” Shang Qinghua told Mobei Jun as the other man helped him into his pajamas. “You should’ve come- Why didn’t I invite you?” He wracked his brain but produced nothing so he changed the subject. “Did you know that Liu Qingge is in love with Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe? WAIT! HUSH!” he pushed a clumsy finger against Mobei Jun’s lips. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you that,” he whispered. “Then Liu Qingge is going to tell you I’m in love with you and that would be so embarrassing,” he burst into giggles. “I’m so tired Mobei Jun.”

“Then sleep,” Mobei Jun murmured, his voice oddly subdued.

Shang Qinghua settled underneath his blankets and attempted to sleep. He drifted off to the sound of two faint voices.

“You can stay here for the night. Pillows and blankets are in the closet by the kitchen.”

“Thanks but… why? You’re not exactly a fluffy guy.”

“You got him home safe. I was… worried.”

Shang Qinghua awoke to a pounding in his head and a dry mouth. He groaned in annoyance at the general concept of being awake before his eyes landed on the glass of water and Tylenol on his nightstand.

He gratefully took the Tylenol before getting out of bed and entering the kitchen to find Mobei Jun cooking breakfast.

“Who stayed the night?” he asked, eyeing the pillow and blanket on the couch.

“Liu Qingge. He left in a rush after Shen Qingqiu called him. From what I gathered… I hope he wasn’t someone you’ve romantically set your sights on.”

“No, I haven’t,” Shang Qinghua mumbled. 

Mobei Jun turned off the stove before passing Shang Qinghua a bowl of noodles. 

He always cooked Shang Qinghua noodles when they had fights. Always. But this time… the noodles didn’t look as appealing. They threatened to choke Shang Qinghua with his own emotions, death by noodles. What a way to go. Considering the current situation, the noodle thing was beginning to look like a promising option. At least if the noodles killed him, Mobei Jun couldn’t reject him and leave him to die from a broken heart.

Shang Qingua stared at the noodles, his throat choked and vision blurry. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?” Mobei Jun asked, stepping close enough that Shang Qinghua saw his shoes. 

“Mobei Jun, I can’t be your friend anymore. I thought I could but I can’t,” Shang Qinghua took a heaving breath, attempting to not cry. “I’m sorry. I know it’s selfish and pathetic but I can’t sit by and watch you be in love with someone else. I can’t handle the thought of you loving someone else… and I just feel so unwanted.”

“I want you,” Mobei Jun said.

“Not like that!” Shang Qinghua burst out, finally looking up at him with tear-filled eyes. “You don’t want me like I want you! You wouldn’t even look at me that way and it hurts! It hurts- I’m so in love I’m burning up for someone who’s so cold-”

“Qinghua!” Mobei Jun gripped his shoulders. “I want you .”

Shang Qinghua’s mouth opened then closed. He opened his mouth again. “Want me ?”

Mobei Jun kissed him in response, one hand moving from Shang Qinghua’s shoulder to cradle the back of his head. It wasn’t like fireworks or lightning like Shang Qinghua had always imagined a kiss with Mobei Jun would be. Instead, it was a low thrum of energy that sunk into his very being, spreading out through his limbs and curling his toes with overwhelming… contentment. Shang Qinghua made a muffled noise against the kiss before pushing against the taller man. “Like- like this!?” Shang Qinghua asked as if it wasn’t obvious. It should’ve been, except Shang Qinghua still couldn’t believe that was true. “What about that guy?”

“What guy?” Mobei Jun asked him, his brow furrowed.

“The guy you wrote a song about! The one that was blowing you at the party!” Shang Qinghua snapped, poking Mobei Jun’s chest with every word. “What do you mean, ‘what guy?’”

“Do you think I’d write such a thing about someone else?” Mobei Jun asked him, tenderly cupping his cheek. “That I’d feel such a thing about anyone but you?”

“He was… you were…” Shang Qinghua was still grasping at something to ground himself. He was on the edge of a cliff. He couldn’t make a wrong move now. He couldn’t slip.

“You left with Liu Qingge and we all assumed that the two of you were fooling around and I was angry... I would’ve never done it if I thought it would hurt you.”

Shang Qinghua, despite everything, giggled. “We were eating pizza, you idiot!”

“Eating… pizza?” Mobei Jun muttered. “Perhaps I should’ve known.”

“Mhm. Perhaps,” Shang Qinghua giggled again before he sobered up. “Was that song really about me?”

“Yes. I thought you knew how I felt and when you brought a date… I thought maybe the song would make you understand.”

“I think I understand now,” Shang Qinghua told him, his voice barely even a whisper.

He was on the edge of the cliff. Originally he thought he’d been walking back towards the edge by himself, alone. Now, he realized Mobei Jun had long since fallen off.

Mobei Jun wasn’t like Shang Qinghua. When he felt something, it was always with raging intensity. When he hit the ground, it could hurt him so much worse than Shang Qinghua.

He wasn’t like Shang Qinghua, who could hit the rocky bottom and still get back up and move on.

Unlike Shang Qinghua, Mobei Jun couldn’t fly by himself.

“Kiss me, Mobei Jun,” Shang Qinghua whispered into the silence of the kitchen. 

“Eat your noodles first,” Mobei Jun whispered back.

Shang Qinghua decided the top of the cliff wasn’t all it was cracked up to be and if he fell with Mobei Jun and for once was unable to fly, it’d be okay because then at least when he hit the ground he’d be with the person he loves and trusts the most in the world.

He jumped after him. 

“Fine, but only because you made them. We’re still talking later and if you don’t kiss me properly I may kill you.”

Mobei Jun rolled his eyes, the fragility of their friendship had dissolved and they seemed to be back to normal. “You couldn’t kill me if you tried. You’re much too puny.”

“I may be puny but I will still choose to identify as a threat,” Shang Qinghua insisted.

They were back to normal, which was frustrating in its own right. Mobei Jun had all but said he’d loved Shang Qinghua and Shang Qinghua had made it clear the feeling was mutual… and Mobei Jun still hadn’t kissed him again.

Shang Qinghua decided now was a good time to pull out the secret weapon he’d stashed. Well, something he’d bought a while back to attempt to get Mobei Jun’s attention and had failed miserably. But now, Mobei Jun liked him! Had admitted to wanting him! It surely would work now!

The pajama set was made of soft fleece material and was actually more cute than sexy, despite it being revealing. The cropped top had a small hood with tiny hamster ears and the bottom was a bit poofy and had a little hamster tail. Shang Qinghua suddenly second-guessed himself. Maybe Mobei Jun wasn’t into cute? He’d hardly looked at Shang Qinghua last time he wore it, in fact, he’d avoided looking at Shang Qinghua at all!

Shang Qinghua pinched the soft skin of his stomach and wondered if he had time to change again. 

“Qinghua, the movie is on,” Mobei Jun called from the other room. Shang Qinghua sighed. This would have to do. Worst case scenario, he had to wait until tomorrow to buy something sexier. That option was truly the worst because Shang Qinghua had the attention span of a hamster and always wanted immediate gratification. Besides, he’d already prepped and inserted a plug that insisted on bumping all the right places as he moved about. Surely, this would be such a waste if Mobei Jun didn’t take this opportunity?

Shang Qinghua quickly grabbed his half-used bottle of lube, just in case, before walking into the living room. He surreptitiously sat it on the floor next to his foot before curling up against Mobei jun like normal, his eyes fluttering when Mobei Jun’s large hand met the bare skin of his waist at the same time the plug shifted inside him.

The movie was pretty boring if Shang Qinghua was being honest. It was the usual drama where the protagonist had to choose between two strapping young men lest she grow old to be a spinster.

“The grumpy dude has my vote,” Shang Qinghua commented. “He’s hotter.”

“Mn,” Mobei Jun hummed, his fingers trailing small circles on Shang Qinghua’s stomach. “I like the other one.”

“Come on!” Shang Qinghua laughed. “Is it just me or do the women have better chemistry with each other than they do with any of the men?”

Right as he spoke the scene had a sudden change in tone. 

What a plot twist! They were all gay! Good for them!

“I didn’t think she should have to choose between the guys anyway. No one should be forced into such a thing.” He tilted his head. “Wow, this is… graphic.”

“Mn,” Mobei Jun hummed, unaffected. Probably because it was two women but Shang Qinghua curled closer to him almost subconsciously.

From then on, the papapa scenes grew more in both number and intensity and then it was time for the two male protagonists to consummate their love and Shang Qinghua couldn’t take it anymore. “Mobei Jun?”

“Mn?” Mobei Jun was still calmly stroking little circles on Shang Qinghua’s skin.

“You liked the other one,” Shang Qinghua reminded him. “Doesn’t he look pretty like that?” He was referring to the man in question getting railed just as hard and intensely as he deserved and Shang Qinghua wanted. 

“You’d look prettier. Better,” was Mobei Jun’s unexpected response. His hand still didn’t move.

“You wouldn’t know,” Shang Qinghua pointed out. “You haven’t fucked me yet.”

Mobei Jun’s hand stilled and he turned to him, his eyes piercing into Shang Qinghua’s soul with their intensity. “I wasn’t aware that is what you wanted.”

“Mobei Jun, I’ve been going on dates with complete douchebags in hopes of getting laid,” he sighed. “I’m twenty-five and still a virgin. I’m over it. I want my virginity gone. My cherry popped- Ah! Mobei Jun! Be careful!” he whimpered as he was suddenly pushed back against the arm of the couch.

Mobei Jun’s hands were on his waist, roaming across soft skin with fervent desire. “Do you know,” Mobei Jun spoke slowly and clearly, “what you do to me when you wear this?”

“I erm… don’t know? Last time I wore it you didn’t even look,” Shang Qinghua’s bewildered expression turned into a pout.

“If I would’ve looked too much,” Mobei Jun told him, gripping onto a thin ankle and spreading Shang Qinghua’s leg outwards as he crawled in between, “I would’ve fucked you then and there. Friendship be damned.”

“You should’ve,” Shang Qinghua told him, his breath hitching as the plug he’d forgotten about shifted inside him. “You should right now.”

Mobei Jun kissed him then, filling Shang Qinghua with the same feeling as before. This time the feeling of content was mixed in with an all-consuming urge to take and claim. To be taken and claimed. 

What a feeling it was to know that Mobei Jun was his and he was Mobei Jun’s.

Though maybe, deep down, he’d always known that.

He gripped onto Mobei Jun’s t-shirt and pulled up, giggling when Mobei Jun huffed in annoyance at having to break the kiss to allow his shirt to be tugged over his head. Mobei Jun immediately moved back to his important task of kissing Shang Qinghua breathless as Shang Qinghua got to work on his also very important task of mapping the feel of Mobei Jun’s abs. Gods, how did Shang Qinghua get this lucky!?

Shang Qinghua tugged at the button of Mobei Jun’s jeans and Mobei Jun pulled completely off of him, his expression entirely too annoyed for someone about to get laid. Shang Qinghua found his lips twitching up into an involuntary smile. He loved this man so much. This grumpy, pouty man.

When Mobei Jun was down to his boxers he crawled back in between Shang Qinghua’s legs and moved to kiss his neck instead of his mouth, making Shang Qinghua’s body shiver with the new sensations. The shivering reminded him yet again of the plug inside him and he wondered how Mobei Jun would take that news. Would he like it? 

“Mobei Jun- Mobei Jun!” Shang Qinghua gasped as his top was roughly pushed up to his collarbone and Mobei Jun latched onto a rosy bud, flicking his tongue before biting down. “Ah! Mobei Jun! There’s something- Ah! Fuck! Something I need to tell you!” 

Mobei Jun didn’t release his nipple but he did move from biting to simply sucking and licking, which Shang Qinghua could thankfully talk through. “Mnn, I uh- I have a plug-”

Mobei Jun did pause then and lifted his head to look up at Shang Qinghua. His eyes were intense and for once, Shang Qinghua didn’t recognize this expression, though it sent excited shivers up his spine. “It’s been inside me this whole time. I wanted to be ready for you.”

Shang Qinghua both shrieked and giggled as he was abruptly flipped over. A large hand gripped onto his pajama bottom and tugged it to the side while the other gripped an ass cheek and pulled to expose his hole. True to Shang Qinghua’s word, a plug peeked out from his trembling hole. 

“Fuck… Qinghua,” Mobei Jun gasped out in such a way, it made Shang Qinghua squirm to look at his face. Mobei Jun gripped onto Shang Qinghua’s wrists and pinned them down above his head as he nudged the smaller man’s legs apart with his knees. 

Shang Qinghua whimpered as large fingers slipped under his bottom and touched his rim, teasing at the plug inside him. He’d done all this to get to the finale! Not to have Mobei Jun tease him!

The fingers were gone and so was the vise-like grip on his wrists and Shang Qinghua barely had time to sigh in relief before his bottom was snatched down to his knees. “Fuck!” he whimpered, feeling a bit more embarrassed than he’d anticipated. “Please- I can feel your eyes. Please don’t look- I’m not-” he took a huge breath to calm himself. “I put lube on the floor next to the couch. Please just-”

“You’re not what?” Mobei Jun enunciated every word slowly, anger simmering in his tone. 

“Sexy? Beautiful? I don’t know. Not worth looking at this much? I don’t want you to look too much and lose interest- Ah!” he gasped out as a loud smack rang out in the room.

“I will look at what I please,” Mobei Jun leaned over him and growled low in his ear, his hand rubbing the sore spot where he’d smack Shang Qinghua’s ass. “Whore. You wore something like this for me and don’t want me to look. Do you intend to be a cocktease?”

Shang Qinghua breathed out a small, “oh fuck!” at the words he’d always fantasized about from Mobei Jun but had never expected in reality.

“Was that alright?” Mobei Jun asked him, his voice softer than it was before.

“Fuck! Yes! Yes! I liked that! I’m your whore! I’m your cocktease! Please just- Hmmph!” he whimpered as Mobei Jun wrenched him back by his hair and kissed him fiercely, his hand moving to tease at the plug again. It was both too much and not enough at the same time and Shang Qinghua felt his orgasm approaching. He was going to come untouched and embarrass himself at this rate!

“I’m ready,” Shang Qinghua sighed against Mobei Jun’s mouth. “Please make love to me. You teased me enough.”

Mobei Jun tugged Shang Qinghua’s top over his head before pulling Shang Qinghua so that he was laying across the larger man’s lap, allowing Mobei Jun to pull the remains of Shang Qinghua’s clothes off his legs. He felt Mobei Jun shift forward and then the familiar noise of a bottle cap opening.

Mobei Jun removed the plug before replacing it with a lubed finger. It was much wider and went deeper than Shang Qinghua’s own fingers and he moaned at the new sensation, moving his hips backwards to take Mobei Jun’s fingers deeper. 

“Desperate slut,” Mobei Jun hummed, his free hand moving to slip two fingers into Shang Qinghua’s mouth. Shang Qinghua desperately sucked on the fingers as Mobei Jun added another finger into his hole. “So needy. You think I would’ve let anyone touch what is mine?” Shang Qinghua moaned around the fingers in his mouth, saliva dripping down his chin, as he felt Mobei Jun’s breath against his ear. “You’re mine, Shang Qinghua.”

Shang Qinghua couldn’t stop it then, it had been building up and Mobei Jun’s words had caused the dam to break. Shang Qinghua’s seed gushed onto Mobei Jun’s leg and Shang Qinghua whimpered in embarrassment as Mobei Jun laughed.

This was humiliating! It was sending more shivers of pleasure through his body as Mobei Jun removed his fingers and moved him to kneel on the floor. “Clean that up and we’ll continue.”

Shang Qinghua’s face felt scorching hot as he leaned in and tentatively began licking his spend off of Mobei Jun’s thigh, letting out breathless little moans as Mobei Jun’s hand shifted through his hair and moved over his shoulders and upper back. 

After he was done he obediently moved back to where he was before and beamed at Mobei Jun’s clear pleasure as he murmured low praise in his ear before his fingers assumed their positions, this time fucking into him, thrusting in at the same time on both sides. He felt Mobei Jun’s erection bump against him from time to time from where it was tented in his boxers, but Mobei Jun seemed like he wanted this drawn out and Shang Qinghua was becoming eager to please him.

“I’m at four fingers,” Mobei Jun commented, his voice awed. “Your hole is as much of a needy and desperate slut as you are. Willing to take anything I give you.”

Shang Qinghua pulled his head back until Mobei Jun’s fingers slipped free. “Funny, I think you aren’t giving me enough,” he snarked, already knowing what was coming.

Another smack rang out in the room and Shang QInghua made a noise between a moan and a curse as he was suddenly bent over the arm of the couch again. “Condoms?” Mobei Jun asked calmly as if he wasn’t manhandling a grown man like it was nothing.

“I don’t have any,” Shang Qinghua admitted. “Do you?”


“Well, are you clean? I’ve never had sex so we should be fine as long as you were tested since the last time you had sex,” Shang Qinghua rambled, his face growing hotter. He was suddenly glad he was facing away from Mobei Jun as he spoke. “I actually wouldn’t mind it like this at all. I want you to come inside me.”

“I’ve never done this either,” Mobei Jun told him, lining up with his entrance. “Never wanted anyone but you.”

Shang Qinghua's astonished response was quickly cut off when Mobei Jun wrenched him up and turned his head to face him. Any words he could’ve said were overshadowed by the low moan that sprang from within his chest as his hole was stretched around Mobei Jun’s length. “Fuck! You’re so big! Mobei Jun-” he gasped out, his face growing hotter as Mobei Jun watched his face as he sunk down on his cock. 

“You’re tight,” Mobei Jun grunted in response, pushing in further. His eyes held a hint of concern mixed in with pleasure. “Are you alright?”

It was uncomfortable and borderline painful but not more than Shang Qinghua expected. It was more overwhelming than anything, to be filled to the brim like this. “I’m fine! It’s good. Don’t stop.”

Mobei Jun let him lay down against the arm of the couch again, his shoulders prominent from where he was propped on his elbows. Mobei Jun pulled out of him before slowly pushing back in and repeating the motion. It was agonizing, the slow drag of a cock inside him, just slow enough to not be painful but also not providing enough stimulation. “My king,” he gasped out, the words slipping out unbidden. He paused, his face turning a bright shade of red. “I mean-”

Mobei Jun’s fans had a habit of calling him a king. He had the aura and grace of one, after all. Shang Qinghua had mentally called him that for a while now, albeit throwing the possessive two-letter word in front of it, something none of Mobei Jun’s fans dared to do.

“Call me that again,” Mobei Jun ordered, “and finish your sentence.”

Oh, so they were doing this

“My- My king, please don’t hold back for this servant’s sake,” he gasped out.

“Mn, not a servant,” Mobei Jun corrected, rolling his hips impossibly deep and slow, the pace agonizing.

“My king, this- this- whore-” he gasped as Mobei Jun leaned down and bit down on his neck before sucking a mark. 

“If I were a king, you’d be my queen wouldn’t you?” Mobei Jun murmured in his ear. “Or my kept whore.”

“Surely I’d be more useful than that,” Shang Qinghua giggled as Mobei Jun kissed him with a smiling mouth. “Please go harder, my king.”

“As my queen commands,” Mobei Jun teased, kissing him again before moving back to where he was. He pulled out until just the tip was inside before slamming back in so hard it knocked the breath from Shang QInghua’s lungs.

He wrenched out a scream that burnt his throat and the noise only goaded Mobei Jun into moving harder and faster, the slapping of their hips mingling in with the noises Shang Qinghua made in the otherwise quiet room.

Shang Qinghua felt Mobei Jun’s thrusts begin to stutter and he clenched around the other man as he released deep inside him. 

Mobei Jun pulled out before sitting back on the couch, catching his breath. Shang Qinghua turned to see Mobei Jun was still half-hard and immediately moved to position himself over him before sinking down on his cock once more. 

Mobei Jun watched Shang Qinghua’s face as he sunk down, his gaze growing smug as Shang Qinghua’s own gaze went cross-eyed for a moment as he gasped from Mobei Jun’s length somehow being deeper inside him.

“Not done, whore?” Mobei Jun asked, his voice soft despite the words.

“You were still hard and I haven’t came yet,” Shang Qinghua told him, slowly rocking his hips. He lurched forward when Mobei Jun’s cock brushed his prostate. “Fuck! Right there!”

Mobei Jun gripped onto his hips and obediently fucked into his, his cock hitting Shang Qinghua’s prostate dead-on with every thrust as Shang Qinghua’s hand moved to his own neglected cock and began moving in time with every thrust.

Icy blue eyes tracked the movement and Shang Qinghua felt his face burn yet again. “Do you like it, my king?”

“Beautiful,” Mobei Jun breathed. “Handsome. Sexy. Perfect.”

“Go easy, you’re getting really close to your word quota for the week,” Shang Qinghua teased, his voice hitching and breathless as he grew close to his orgasm.

Mobei Jun moved one hand to join Shang Qinghua’s and the presence of such a large hand on his cock pushed Shang Qinghua over into his second orgasm of the night.

He fell into the mess between them, his body shaking and overstimulated from where he was still wrapped around Mobei Jun’s girth. 

Mobei Jun didn’t pull out this time, instead, he stood up and carried Shang Qinghua to Shang Qinghua’s bedroom while still inside him.

“Mmm, that was nice,” Shang Qinghua sighed as he was laid on his back amidst his stuffed animals. 

“Qinghua,” Mobei Jun murmured in his ear before biting on his lobe to jolt the smaller man back to the present. “I’m not done with you yet.”

Shang Qinghua stared at him with something like wonder as MobeI jun’s gaze grew intense.

“I’ll never be done with you.”

Shang Qinghua woke up to an ache in his lower back and a heavy arm draped over his waist. He sighed, content, before turning over in Mobei Jun’s arms and burying his nose between those gloriously prominent pecs.

“Don’t go on any more dates,” Mobei Jun murmured, half asleep.

“Romance really is dead,” Shang Qinghua teased. “You fucked me without taking me to dinner first and now you say I’m not allowed to have dates?”

If Mobei Jun would’ve insisted on some sort of courtship before sex, Shang Qinghua would’ve probably lost his damn mind but that was beside the point.

Mobei Jun grunted in annoyance. “I’ll take you on as many dates as you want. You’re mine.”

“You’re mine,” Shang Qinghua echoed. His contented smile growing. “So how long do you see this going on for? Our lease renews in a few months…”

“Forever,” Mobei Jun stated firmly, his arms tightening.

“Hey, Mobei Jun?” 


“I love you so much,” Shang Qinghua admitted, the weight of nearly two decades of confessions unsaid lifting from his shoulders.

“I love you so much too,” Mobei Jun muttered, somehow sounding annoyed at Shang Qinghua’s audacity to make him feel things in that stone-cold heart of his.

“Something’s been bothering me,” Shang Qinghua said suddenly. “About Liu Qingge. You said he rushed home to Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu? Is something wrong? Shen Shingqiu hasn’t texted me like he normally would if something were wrong.”

Mobei Jun pulled back to give him a long, deadpan look. 

“Oh, my-” Shang Qinghua burst into giggles as he understood.

Shen Qingqiu will never have as much ammunition to tease Shang Qinghua about his feelings as Shang Qinghua now had on him. At least Shang Qinghua knew he was in love with his roommate this whole time!

“Those- Those fucking idiots,” Shang Qinghua giggled, burying his face in Mobei Jun’s pecs once again. 

Maybe it was a bit hypocritical of him to laugh. 

Love can make anyone into an idiot after all.

Falling was scary, and it was truly idiotic to jump off a cliff. But Mobei Jun made him into a reckless idiot and no matter how hard the ground was going to be, he’d gladly jump after Mobei Jun every time.

Thankfully, Shang Qinghua had caught Mobei Jun and they had safely landed.