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Baby, take me to the feeling.

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Seamus stared down at the wedding invitation, in a drunken attempt at optimism he had RSVP’d for two all those months ago and now here he was less than a week away with no date.

He had really liked Jack, had wanted it to work out badly. Jack hadn’t felt the same though, less than a year ago he had ended whatever was happening between them and was now marrying his soulmate. Apparently, something had been happening between them, even while Jack was with Seamus, though he promised it had never been anything physical.

Seamus wondered if he could convince Lee to come with him, though he feared Georges reaction. Most likely a violent, painful and embarrassing prank from the shop, still untested.

He could try asking one of his fellow Healers, one in particular came to mind, he had shown interest in Seamus and he was hot. He was also a little rude and pretty dumb, Seamus wasn’t sure how he passed the boards to become a Healer.

He startled to the sound of his Floo flaring up. Seamus had his Floo set to allow only one person when it was locked. So, as he turned into the sitting room, he was unsurprised to see a sheepish looking Dean standing in the middle of the room. Covered in his paints.

Seamus didn’t ask why Dean was here. The answer would range from him needing space from his newest and all-consuming art project, to any of his utilities getting shut off in his muggle apartment because he couldn’t make the payment again. Sometimes he needed something like food or a hot shower and other times he needed another person near him, to remind him he wasn’t alone and, on the run, anymore. Sometimes, the best times in Seamus opinion, Dean had just wanted to see Seamus because he had missed him.

Dean had his Mother’s that he was always welcomed at, had other friends from his coffee shop job and Hogwarts he could turn to. Still he showed his face at Seamus at least twice a week. Dean had drunkenly told him once it was because Seamus felt the best, that he loved Seamus the most.

Seamus had been trying to not read into that for a year now.

Jack had always complained that Dean was just using Seamus. Seamus would respond that Jack just didn’t understand because though Jack was magical, and from Britain, and lived through the war, he wasn’t directly affected by it. Being five years older than Seamus himself, he had long since left Hogwarts when the Carrows had come around. A full pure blood statue had protected him during the war. He wasn’t a Death Eater or even a sympathizer. He was simply another bystander, disgusted with the events, but unable to do much except keep his head down and go about his business.

Dean and Seamus had fought through the final battle together. After almost a year of fighting different battles separately. Seamus had felt a closeness with all those he fought beside. Jack didn’t seem to complain when Seamus had to go get Luna, after she had fallen into a drunken stupor and couldn’t find her way home. He didn’t care when Neville ‘came round for tea’ and needed to be coaxed into eating or bathing. Never once did he say anything about George hiding in Seamus apartment when his family became too overwhelming. To this day, only Lee knows that George will come here sometimes to escape and is the only one allowed to “find him” if he was at Seamus’.

Truth was, even if Dean was using Seamus, he would always allow it. If Dean had needed him, he would be there.

Dean looked up at him and flashed him a radiant smile. Seamus felt a warm tingle spread through his stomach at the sight.

“The project that I just finished, the one that I had spent a month straight on. It sold! It sold for a lot… and they may want more!”

Dean looked ready to burst with joy and Seamus found it contagious, as he looked at Dean so very happy.

In the past pieces had sold here and there, he hadn’t made a lot off of them, because he didn’t have an art dealer or an agent to work with. It was just him, trying to make it in the stuffy and pristine art world. He was so talented but that hadn’t been enough, not until now apparently.

“Mate! That’s amazing! Was it the piece with all the blue and red shading? I loved that piece!”

 Seamus tried to understand Deans art, wanted to support him, but he had never had the same artistic intelligence that Dean had.

Dean beamed at his efforts just the same, as he smiled and nodded vigorously.

“I wanted to take you out, to thank you for helping me so much this last year. Take you to get the best Fish and Chips in the city?”

Dean smile was so warm and excited, Seamus tried to bolster himself up to celebrate with Dean.

It had been a hard day at the clinical he worked at. It was a small little place that partnered with St. Mungo’s. He had been helping a woman who seemed to be speaking Swahili and had suffered a brutal attack. He hadn’t known what had happened to her but based on her nervousness around Seamus and the other men in the clinic, and her injury’s that spanned from old to new, he had a bad feeling about it all. That mixed with the much more shallow and pitiful problem, of showing up to Jack’s wedding dateless, Seamus had been ready for a night of beer and wallowing.

Still this was Dean, and he was happy and deserved this success, so he put on a bright and happy face

“Yeah, mate, that’d be grand”

Dean looked at him, that deep penetrating look that Seamus always felt was piercing his soul. Dean hadn’t lost his ability to see through him. Even when Dean had been at his lowest, he could read Seamus like an open book. Always offering an ear or shoulder to cry on.

An eyebrow arch from Dean had Seamus huffing a breath and spilling his guts.

“It was just a bad day at the clinic, like extra bad day… I’m Fine…” Seamus stops to take a deep breath

“We just had a patient… I don’t know what happened to her but… I know it was bad, all just gave me a bad feeling… Then I came home and saw this bloody fucking invitation on the fridge, and remembered that at the end of this week I get to go to me ex’s wedding, alone…” He shrugged feeling pathetic.

“It’s not like the end of the world or anything, it was just the cherry on top of me shite day. That’s all.”

Dean looked at him sympathetically and without judgement, like he always did, so Seamus found himself continuing.

“I just, I fucked up and told him I had moved on and found a new, great person, I haven’t, and now after all that talk, I have to show up dateless… Or ask Lee and have George hex me balls off… Haven’t decided which will be more painful” Seamus chuckled weakly at his own joke and Dean gave him a large smile.

“I’ll just go with you!” Dean said brightly and easily, like his offer didn’t make Seamus feel like all the air had left his lungs.

“Mate, I told him I was bring my new boyfriend, not my best friend… I appreciate the offer but brining a friend is just sad…”

“No, I mean pretend I’m the fantastic new boyfriend. I’ll laugh at your jokes, hold your hand and dance with you all night. I’ll even give you a kiss at the end of the night if you’re nice”

Dean winked and replied again, like it made the most sense in the world, and didn’t cause Seamus mouth to go dry, and his palms to start sweating at the idea of dancing and holding hands with Dean. And good lord… Kissing… Kissing Dean, he was pretty sure he was going into heart failure.

“But he knows you. Knows we are just friends, and he may talk, tell other people. Don’t want everyone thinking you’re a shirt lifter now do ya?” Seamus tried to laugh, it definitely felt forced. He was just proud of his ability to form words at all.

“One, I don’t care about that or what people think, two, remember how crazy jealous he uses to get. He thought we were together under his nose the whole time anyway, even though he was the one cheating on you with stupid what’s her face. It’s not like he would be one to talk, after he had used you to fulfil all his bi-curiosity needs. What’s he going to say?”

Seamus tried to protest that Dean wasn’t actually bisexual but was cut off by Dean.

“Do you remember how mad he was when you had come over and found me depressed, unbathed and almost starved. So, you washed me down and fed me soup and stayed with me for a week. He was so jealous I’m surprised he didn’t hex me all those months. He will believe we are together, and I don’t care if he tells people we are, it doesn’t bother me” Dean ended with a shrug.

Seamus remembered that night when he found Dean, it had been a blur, and his Healer instincts had taken over. Stripping down Dean, and throwing him in a bath, was probably one of his top ten schoolboy fantasies. But that had not been what that night had been like. He was afraid for Dean, worried that he wouldn’t be able to pull himself from the spiral. He had, slowly and with a lot of help from Seamus and his own Ma.

Almost like he was reading Seamus mind Dean added

“Let me do this for you, I honestly don’t know if I would be alive right now if it hadn’t been for you. I couldn’t get out of my own head to save my own life, you pulled me back. I want to do this; I want to help and comfort you back, even if it’s just a fraction of what you gave to me” Dean said using his most earnest voice and eyes, and Seamus was lost to it all.

Seamus nodded slowly, figuring what’s the worst that could happen? Dean threw him another radiant smile.

“Brilliant, well because you had such a bad day let’s do take out. Whatcha in the mood for?” Dean asked as he walked into the kitchen, to the drawer that he knew Seamus kept the takeout menus in. They decided on Thai food and after Dean insisted on paying, he sent Seamus to the shower, while he waited for the delivery man.

Seamus felt his weariness ebb away, as he sat with Dean eating noodles and watching a stupid, romantic comedy, muggle movie on his telly.

Seamus thought maybe this wedding wouldn’t be so awful after all.

 

 

Seamus had been sure that he would have to go and get Dean for the wedding. Figured he would be so caught up in his work that he would lose track of time, or completely forget how he was helping Seamus. So, when Dean showed up five minutes before there agreed meeting time of two, Seamus himself was still trying to tie his own tie that went with his muggle suite.

Dean had apparated into Seamus apartment, and looked so handsome Seamus felt himself blushing, for no other reason than Dean looking at him. He had gotten his hair trimmed and had clearly tried to style the wild curls.  And his beard, good lord his beard, was now trimmed and cleaned up as well. His muggle suite was a dark blue, with a crisp white shirt under it, and a tie that he had purposely gotten to match Seamus’. He looked perfect.

“Wow, mate you clean up nicely. Want me tie that for you?” Dean asked breezily pointing at Seamus tie, that was still not cooperating.

Seamus nodded numbly. He felt an odd swish in his stomach as Dean stepped up close to him. Did he have to be this close, Seamus thought, as Dean’s aftershave wafted into Seamus nose and caused him to feel lightheaded. Dean had tied his tie quickly and was now tightening and straightening it. Then with one last lingering hand, Dean was stepping out of Seamus space.

Clearing his throat, Dean looked up

“Ready, Mate?” Dean flashed him another beautiful smile

Seamus nodded and Dean reached out and grabbed his hand.

“You know where it is right? I don’t mind Side-Along”

 Seamus had almost missed what Dean was saying, due to the fact that Dean had reached out and grabbed his hand.

“Side-Along right… just give me one second” Seamus took a deep breath apparating  them both.

 

The church was beautiful with flowers and fairy lights everywhere. Seamus felt a ping of remorse that he didn’t get to have this. Jack wasn’t his anymore, honestly, he probably never was. Dean must have sensed his discomfort because once Seamus dropped his hand, he had brought it up to the small of Seamus back. The small, very intimate gestor sent a thrill through Seamus, as he let himself be led into the church and to their seats, with Deans steady hand on him.

The Ceremony was beautiful and simple, and again Seamus felt the sting that came with the rejection and abandonment he felt regarding Jack. Again, sensing his discomfort Dean reached out and placed one of his large, dark hands on Seamus thigh. Seamus lost his ability to pay attention, as he felt the warmth from Deans hand radiated all the way through him. Before he knew it, Dean was leaning in, telling him to stand because the happy couple was making their exit.

After their exit, Seamus again felt Deans guiding hand, steering him to the hall in the back of the church. Finding their seats, Dean and Seamus sat and chatted ideally with some of Jack’s work mates. Seamus was thankful that they didn’t seem to know who he was, and they seemed kind and pleasant through the first dance and following dinner.

Dean was being wonderful, so wonderful it actually hurt Seamus. He had to keep reminding himself that this wasn’t real. Dean was just being a good mate, trying to repay a debt that Seamus would have never tried to collect on. Still, he couldn’t help the warmth that spread all the way through him, as Dean casually touched his hand or leg in the middle of a conversation. Couldn’t stop himself from closing his eyes, to the feeling of Dean running his fingers through Seamus hair as he tried to fix it, after Seamus had run his hand through it and it had become disheveled.

It didn’t help that Dean seemed to be doing all these things, with absolute sincerity, Seamus wasn’t sure how he was acting so well, but it was fooling even Seamus himself.

Then it was time for dancing. Seamus wasn’t sure what to do with himself when Dean, all shy and gentlemanly, asked Seamus if he would like to dance. So, he nodded dumbly and allowed Dean to take his hand and pull him to his feet.

In the back of his mind that wasn’t occupied with the closeness, the sight, and the smell of Dean, Seamus worried that he and Dean would not be able to pull of dancing together well. Apparently, he had been wrong to worry about that, as he and Dean fell into a pattern, letting Dean lead seemed like the most natural thing in the world, and after ten years of friendship, the familiarity between the two of them helped them move with ease.

Everything had been going so well, as Dean spun him around gracefully, talking quietly into his ear. Mostly making jokes about the other guest and the brides’ stupid friends.

“The blond one has eyes for you mate, sorry you had to come to this thing with me. Probably could have pulled.” Seamus said quietly, letting a little chuckle out as Dean leaned back to look him in the eyes. Any other words Seamus had on the subject died in his throat.

“I’m glad I came with you, I wanted to.” Dean said, again, with that absolute sincerity that had been making Seamus swoon all night.

 Then Dean looked over Seamus shoulder and Seamus felt him tense. Then without warning Dean’s warm, soft lips where covering Seamus’s. It was over almost as quickly as it started as Dean leaned back and sent a warm smile Seamus way, then a less warm smile over Seamus shoulder. Confused, Seamus turned to see Jack approaching them.

Putting on his best game face, Seamus let his poster relax and forced his mouth to a pleasant polite smile, though Jack did not seem to be doing the same thing. He looked irritated.

“Hey Seamus, can I talk to you for a second?” Jack barely asked, before he was grabbing Seamus by the elbow, and leading him out to a closed off area.

“Hey Jack, I don’t want to leave me date” Seamus said honestly as Jack pulled his arm “And I don’t think its custom for the groom to leave his bride for too long either” Seamus chuckled at his joke as Jack spun around to face him.

“That’s your new boyfriend? The person you decided to bring to my wedding?” Jack asked his voice dangerously low.

“Thought nothing was happening between you two, thought you were just friends?” Jack was now right in Seamus face and all Seamus could do was laugh.

“Rich coming from you mate.” Seamus giggled out.

“You are the one that actually cheated, the one that left. “

“Yeah and you’re the pathetic loser that couldn’t get a real date.” Jack spat out.

“What did you just say to him?” Dean’s voice dangerously rang out, as he stepped into view in Seamus prefrail vision.

“Ah, finally latched on to your meal ticket then, didn’t you?” Jack looked Dean in the eyes.

“All you have done this whole time, is use him, and now you are here, acting all chivalrous and loving. Why? Worried his pathetic longing would run out if you didn’t start putting out? Don’t worry it wouldn’t have.” Jack said to Dean.

Dean shrunk at the accusation, and Seamus hated seeing him like that. Dean had supported him all night, and Jack had no fucking right to speak to him like that.

“Fuck off Jack, go back to your wife, will leave.” Seamus said this with no passion.

 He didn’t want to give Jack the satisfaction of thinking he rattled him for one second. Taking Dean by the hand he pulled him outside and to the apparate point, where he could bring them back to his flat.

“Dean listen that was all bullshit, he was just being an arse back there” Seamus said, once they were safely back in his sitting room standing side by side. Dean hadn’t let go of his hand, and in a response to Seamus words, gave his hand a squeeze. Then he was turning to Seamus.

“I know he was just being arse, but he wasn’t completely wrong. I mean he was wrong, when he said I just thought of you as my meal ticket. Seamus, even if you hadn’t fed me, or let me shower, or crash here, you still would have been my best friend. I love you.” Dean whispered the last three words into Seamus ear.

Seamus wasn’t sure what it all meant, but Dean now had both his hands in his own larger hands and was talking quietly into Seamus ear.

“I would be lost without you.”

Seamus felt like he was spinning.

Then Dean was taking a step back, giving his hands one last squeeze, before he dropped them and was turning on the spot, leaving Seamus standing there confused, and honestly, more than just a little horny.

 

Six days later, Seamus was having a Sunday brunch with Luna, and a man she introduced as Rolf. He seemed kind, and completely smitten with her so, Seamus let it slide that he also seemed a bit awkward and stuffy. He kept squirming in his chair and looking around uneasily.

“It’s the Nargle infestation he has here, love. Though it is improving” Luna said as a way to explain away Rolfs unease.

“I take it, Seamus that you did leave all those charms I hung for you?”

 Luna had recently come to his house, said his house was full of Nargles and proceeded to produce small handmade charms, that looked a little like dream catchers. She had hung three in his house, and Seamus had decided against taking them down… Just in case, he had told himself.

Just as Seamus was about to reply, that he had in fact left up the charms, his Floo flared up. All three people in the kitchen looked over, to the sound of Dean stumbling through the Floo, and barging into the kitchen.

Dean looked shocked as he took in the sight of Seamus, standing about to go check on all the noise Dean had been making, then sitting across from him a surprised Rolf, and Luna, who seemed mildly pleased to see Dean there.

“Luna! Hey Hun! How are you?” Dean asked, while panting, as though he had been running.

“I’m good! This is Rolf, Rolf this is Dean. He went to Hogwarts with us and had also been captured and brought to Malfoys manner, as well as Shell Cottage with me. He is a very talented artist.”

Luna had easily stacked some of Deans darkest days into an introduction sandwich, for her friend Rolf, and Dean found it disorienting as he reached a hand to shake.

Rolf awkward and stiff as ever returned the handshake.

 “Want some tea Dean?” Seamus asked trying to ease some of the tension in the room. He didn’t know why Dean was here, but he was happy to see him.

“No. No, I’m good. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to just barge in. I had just wanted ask you something, but I can do it later.” Dean said.

Dean seemed weirdly jittery, and he was making Seamus nervous. Seamus was worried something had happened. Dean seemed to notice the concern and relaxed a little.

“No really, I’m okay. Just wanted to talk about something, not a big deal, at all.” Dean finished, and he almost seemed believable.

Luna must have had the same thought, because she was abruptly standing.

“We were planning on leaving soon anyway, and even though he says its fine, Dean really needs to tell you something Seamus.”

Luna could always read people, and Dean was really no exception. So, with a confused Rolf, who seemed very relived at the turn of events, Luna made her exit. Thanking Seamus for the time and tea saying they should do this again.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make them leave” Dean said, after Rolf and Luna had made their exit.

Seamus shrugged

“Luna will be back in a few days; she comes and goes as she pleases around here. As for Rolf, I’m glad to be rid of him. It’s weird, because he is kind, in his way, and he is so smitten with Luna. He would do anything for her, so I like him in that sense. But he is so stiff and posh. He had a huge stick up his ass the whole time and did not seem to be enjoying it one bit.” Seamus chuckles out.

As he is complaining about Rolf, and picking up the tea and biscuits, he doesn’t notice Dean coming around the table towards him, doesn’t notice Dean standing right behind him. Until Dean is spinning him around and crowding him against the counter.

“Alright Dean?’ Seamus wheezes out, as Dean stares deeply into his eyes.

Seamus isn’t really sure what the hell is happening here, but he waits Dean out.

“Can I try something?” Dean whispers out softly into Seamus ear.

Seamus isn’t able to hide the shivers that overtake his body.

“Y-Yeah” Seamus stutters out.

Then he is breathing sharply through his nose, trying to steady himself, as Dean tentatively starts kissing Seamus. After the shock wears off, Seamus starts to kiss back, a little surer and steadier but not dominating.

Then very softly Deans hands are cupping Seamus face, using his tongue Dean swipes Seamus bottom lip. Seamus lips part as a small muffled moan escapes him.

One of Seamus hands finds its way to Deans hip, squeezing gently as Deans tongue works into Seamus’s mouth. His other hand is running up and down Deans spine and the other man seems to become overwhelmed by the action, suddenly the mood shifts.

The cautious, experimental kissing is now full snogging. Deans hands slide from softly cupping Seamus face, to gripping his hair.

He pulls back a little, and both are gasping for air. Dean doesn’t let his fingers out of Seamus hair and Seamus doesn’t loosen his grip on Deans hip or stop the hand that is still rubbing his back, kneading it.

Fuck, you are all I’ve been able to think about since the wedding. I haven’t been able to do anything else except fantasies about you, kissing you, sucking you, fucking you.” Dean whispers the last part in Seamus ear.

“Then do it.” Is all Seamus is able to get out, before Dean is on him again. Kissing and biting his neck, tugging at his shirt until it’s over his head.

Seamus is about to take off Deans shirt, but Dean drops down in front of Seamus and starts removing his belt.

“Please, can I try. It’s been making me crazy” Dean breaths out as his hands still on the top of Seamus jeans.

Seamus nods and Dean flashes him a beautiful brilliant smile.

“Just help me along yeah. Tell me what works best” Deans saying as he pulls down Seamus pants and is faced with Seamus cock.

Dean takes a steadying breath and Seamus is about to tell Dean not to do anything he doesn’t want to or isn’t ready for. The words die in his throat, as Dean decided the best way to go about it, was to just go at it and had almost swallowed down Seamus dick whole.

What he lacked in refined skill, he made up for in enthusiasm. Not to mention, when Seamus looked down, he could have died from the sight of Dean palming himself through his trousers. His erection noticeable and not dampened by having Seamus cock in his mouth on bit.

“You-you’re so good” Seamus moans out and Dean seems to beam at the praise.

“Do you… Do you still want to fuck me” Seamus ask, and then berates himself mentally for asking so boldly, right when they had just started too…

“Yes” Dean moans out around his cock, cutting off Seamus train of thought, at the sensation of the moan then the meaning of the word.

“Clothes… Take off your clothes” Seamus grunts out as Dean starts a very nice rhythm out on his cock.

Dean removes his mouth from Seamus with a pop and Seamus would be morning the loss of the contact, if he hadn’t had a front row seat to Dean stripping his clothes off.

Even in his haste he was still graceful and so fucking beautiful as he kneeled down in front of Seamus again to take him back in his mouth.

Seamus was rock hard and had to focus hard on the next part of his plan.

“Dean… give me your right hand.”

Dean raises the hand up to him without question, then raises his eyes up to look at Seamus and what he plans to do.

Dean looking up at him, while sucking his cock, is an image Seamus wants burned into his retinas. If he were to lose his sight tomorrow, he wouldn’t care because at least he got to witness this.

He quickly mumbles the lubrication spell onto Deans fingers.

Dean again, comes of Seamus with a loud pop.

“I’ve never done it before, tell me what to do” Dean says with a voice sounding gravely and rough.

Seamus nods his head but then turns around and bends over the counter.

He hears Dean suck in a deep breath.

“You alright?” Seamus ask worried that Dean was suddenly overwhelmed.

“Yeah, you… you’re just really hot.”

Dean leans over Seamus body to whisper in his ear “You’re beautiful, I’ve always thought so but right now… looking like this for me… So beautiful”

Seamus feels his face heat up as he responds “Please, you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever meet” And Seamus feels Dean burry his face into Seamus neck and give him soft kisses.

“Tell me what to do” He whispers in Seamus ear and it sends an electric shock through him.

“Start with a one finger, circle around it until you feel it loosen, then slide the finger in slowly.”

Seamus sucks in a breath as he feels Deans tentative finger.

Deans long beautiful finger begins to breach Seamus, he is painstakingly slow, but Seamus feels the care Dean is putting into this and it gives him a soft warm feeling.

“Add a second finger” Seamus moans out

Dean is again so careful with Seamus, before he has two full fingers pushing in and out of Seamus.

Seamus moans wantonly

“Third finger. Add your third”

Seamus feels a burn for a moment this time, and Dean, who knows how read Seamus, stills instantly.

“Should I pull…”

“No, just a mo” Seamus hisses out and Dean is perfectly still.

Slowly Seamus moves himself back on Deans hand, Dean continues to stay perfectly still.

Then Seamus is fucking himself against Deans fingers in earnest.

“Fuck… Shay” Dean moans

“Dean, I am ready” Seamus says steady.

He hears Dean mumble the lubrication spell behind him. Hears Deans hand as it slides applying the lube.

Then he feels the tip of Deans head press against his entrance.

“Slowly, softly at first” Seamus whispers out. Though based on how Dean had prepared him he hadn’t been expecting anything less.

Dean is apparently an expert on reading Seamus, in any situation, because he slides into him softly and smoothly. Giving Seamus time to adjust when needed, working in slowly until he bottomed out.

“You okay?” Dean whispered softly against Seamus’ back and Seamus moans

“Yes, I’m ready, move, please move” Seamus moans out and Dean begins a steady tender rhythm into Seamus.

Seamus whimpers and starts to push back into Dean, gripping the countertop and using it as leverage.

“Fuck… Seamus…I…” Seamus can feel Dean losing his composer, can feel him drive deeper and harder into Seamus.

Then he hits Seamus prostate.

“How… How the fuck did you find that the first time!” Seamus moans out as Dean, gauging Seamus reactions, continues to aim for that spot, hitting it with every thrust of his hips.

Seamus orgasm barrels through him without even being touched, his knees weak under him as he holds onto the counter for support.

Dean is panting behind him, saying things like ‘so beautiful’ and ‘Shay’ in a breathy tone.

Seamus is coming down from the magnificent orgasm he just had when he hears Dean whisper.

“Can I… I’m close” His hips are stuttering, and Seamus can tell he isn’t sure the proper thing to do.

“Finish what you started mate” Seamus huffs out, still feeling Dean move inside him.

It seemed that all Dean needed to finish spectacular inside of Seamus was the go ahead.

His arms wrap around Seamus in a sort of hug way, his head drops between the crook in Seamus neck and a deep guttural groan vibrates through his chest as he cums, swearing and moaning.

Seamus feels the cum inside him and it makes him smile, feeling full of light and love.

Dean is resting against his back, trying to catch his breath but his hands are absent mindedly rubbing Seamus sides and it makes Seamus feel giddy.

“Oi, mate. Its normally proper to offer a cleaning charm.” Seamus laughs.

Then he feels Deans whole body tense behind him. Seamus facing away from Dean still rolls his eyes.

The freak out. Just great.

Dean pulls out of him and he feels Deans cleansing charm wash over him as he turns around to face the man, both still as naked as a jay bird.

Dean looks absolutely terrified and Seamus feels his stomach twist at the thought that Dean could regret everything so quickly, right after it happened Dean was going to run away.

Past experience has taught him that Dean was good at running away.

“Shay, we just… I can’t believe”

“Yeah… Well, you where the one that asked for it mate” Seamus bites out, and instantly regrets it when Deans face contorts into a pained expression right in front of him.

“I know…. I wanted… I want” Dean sputters out.

Seamus is already defensive, and he wishes he wasn’t. He wishes that in the face of Deans doubt he could be steady and understanding. But he had wanted this, wanted it for so long and to have Dean give him a glimpse of what he could have, to then only run away, leaving him for good.  It caused a horrible burning pain in Seamus chest.

“What do you want Dean? What do you want from me?” Seamus shout out angrily and he sees Dean recoil away. He was fucking this up and he needed to stop but the burning in his chest was spreading and reaching his limps, his throat and lungs.

“… Sorry… I didn’t mean” Dean starts out nervous

“Don’t tell me you didn’t mean it!” Seamus roars out. He doesn’t want to hear it. He had already gone through this with other men in the past. Men that had used Seamus then said they weren’t gay, that they didn’t want that. He didn’t think his heart could survive hearing it from Dean.

“No… You don’t understand” Dean says, with a bit more force.

Seamus cuts him off with a scoff.

“Shay shut the fuck up for a moment wont you?” Dean finally yells back. Seamus doesn’t flinch at his tone, but he stills.

“What I was saying is that I didn’t mean to upset you. When I said I couldn’t believe we had done that. It wasn’t to upset you; it wasn’t even to push you away. It was an observation that we had finally done it.” Dean sounds exacerbated with Seamus.

“Finally done it…?” Seamus asks his voice much softer than before.

“Yeah, finally found the balls god grants a Gryffindor and did it. I had been so sick of dancing around it. I thought the wedding would be… would be a good spark, you know?” Dean was blushing now.

The shame Seamus feels at his outburst almost overpowers the joy and love pumping through his veins.

“You’ve wanted me? Since before even the wedding?” Seamus asks in awe.

“I’ve wanted you since the end of fifth year Seamus.” Dean whisper softly.

“I’m sorry it took me so long, and if I ever gave you the impression that I would just… I would just use you then leave… I would never. When I started talking, I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“No no no I’m sorry. I became so defensive over nothing, I just thought… I thought you were going to run from me…” Seamus says, his blush spreading all the way down his chest, which Dean would see. Because they were both still naked.

“I am done running, never going to do it again” Dean states sternly and Seamus feels bad for the analogy.

Then Dean is pulling him into a hug, strong and soft at the same time. Every part of them is touching and its making Seamus head fog.

“I’m all in if you are.” Dean says into Seamus hair.

“Dean, its always been you.” And it has. Even when they had dated other people, even when he had thought Dean was nothing but straight. His love for Dean had never wavered and he would bet his wand that it wouldn’t waver in the future, hopefully one they shared together.