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God Ye Xiu's First Time!! NOT CLICKBAIT!!

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Ye Xiu leaned back in his seat, mildly shocked. "Isn't that question a little personal?"

The reporter frowned in confusion. "Is it really? I thought all pros got asked this at least once before in their careers?" 

Ye Xiu fiddled with the cigarette pack in his pocket, his other hand ruffling his hair, trying to distract himself from the flush he knew was creeping up his cheeks. The audience - pros and reporters alike - gaped. The shameless God Ye was flustered?? Was the apocalypse upon us??? 

He cleared his throat. "Ah, alright then. If everyone else has answered…" 

"I was a little nervous, as most are, when facing unexplored territory. A little awkward, but I soon got the hang of things. People have told me I'm a very fast learner, and I learn even faster with the proper incentive."

The audience began to exchange glances uncertainly. Uh. Maybe it really was quite personal??

"The first touch was… Some might have assumed that it was like electricity or fireworks, but in truth, it was a little underwhelming. It was exactly what you'd thought it'd feel like, but more comfortable. Like I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life, just like this, and never get bored. It's a little addicting, to be honest. The simple, mind consuming ecstasy of even just a few hours together was so good, I had to come back again. So, we marathoned for about a week straight!" Ye Xiu laughed, his shameless nature swiftly destroying any signs of hesitation that he'd displayed before. 

God Ye??? A week???? 

Ye Xiu's smile didn't fade, as he seemed to contemplate what he would say next. However, the amusement in his eyes was replaced with a deep sadness. 

"I still feel that way, even after I left him. We've known each other for.. eleven years, now? I miss him every day we're apart, but the ache has dulled. But that's to be expected. We'd been together since the very beginning. We learned together, struggled together, and I'd built him up to heights grander than most can imagine. The summit. We had to part, unfortunately, due to, ah, circumstances."

The reporter who'd asked the question was experiencing very complicated feelings. She was alarmed by the uncharacteristic display of emotion (Ye Xiu was an established enigma, even after he'd revealed his true name and face), concerned by said uncharacteristic display of emotion, excited for a potential scoop, and very, very confused. 

"Did you love him?" The reporter asked, digging a deeper hole before she could stop herself. 

"Of course," Ye Xiu said immediately. He looked down at his hands, and flexed his fingers. 

He brought his eyes up and said, "We were unconquerable.

A hush washed over the audience. 

The glint in his golden eyes caused a shiver to run down their spines and the hairs on the backs of their necks to rise. It was the same look in his eyes when he was on the cusp of victory, absolutely concentrated on the hunt. 

The poor reporter, who had been directly hit with the full force of The Look, shook her head rapidly, and pinched her arm for good measure. 

The peanut gallery clamored to talk over each other's questions. 

"God Ye! God Ye! Who is this man you speak of?"

"God Ye!! When did this happen?"

Huang Shaotian, who had been kept miraculously silent with the warning of Yu Wenzhou's fingers wrapped loosely around his wrist, stood up. His chair skidded loudly against the floor, the screech clearly audible even over the din of flashing cameras and desperate inquiries. 

"Old Ye!! Old Ye!!! Old Ye!!!! What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck!!!! Important things must be repeated three times!!! Why was your answer to the question so ambiguous, huh???? Did you do this on purpose???? I bet you did!! This seems exactly like something someone like you would pull!! Did you even answer the same question we were asked????" Huang Shaotian loudly spat rapid fire accusations. If they were playing Glory, Ye Xiu was certain his entire screen would be covered with speech bubbles. 

Ye Xiu thoughtfully tapped a cigarette against his lips. "Yes? Wasn't the question 'What was your first time playing Glory like?'" 

It was a once in a century experience, but someone had finally managed to strike Huang Shaotian, Sword Saint of Blue Rain and self-proclaimed greatest rapid trash talker, into speechlessness. 

He revived with the force of his indignation. "Old Ye!!!!!! If you truly understand the question, why does it sound like you're describing your first time having sex!! What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck!!!! And just who was this mysterious guy who you made out to be the person who stole your virginity?? How does an ex relate to Glory??? Didn't you begin to play when you were fifteen???"

"Shaotian," Yu Wenzhou said, very softly. Huang Shaotian shut his mouth with an audible click and sat back down docilely into his chair. 

With identical ridiculing expressions, Han Wenqing and Ye Xiu said in unison, "One Autumn Leaf." 

The captains of China's best Glory teams sighed in exasperation, perfectly in sync. 


The event was in Ye Qiu's Incidents My Stupid Bastard Brother Who Won't Come Home Has Caused folder. Its file is named "Media Shitstorm #54: Fuck you, Ye Xiu!! I don't want to think about your potential sex life!!"