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a match made in heaven

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“Diluc,” comes Lisa’s voice, from somewhere to his right. No, maybe she’s southwest? Diluc’s too busy angrily scribbling down the Laplace Equation to look up. “You know it wasn’t your fault, right?”

“Of course it wasn’t,” Diluc says hotly, and then proceeds to take an erase and demolish half his calculations. “These things happen.”

“Oh honey.” There’s the sound of someone sliding into a chair on his left. Southwest, then. “You’re wearing your breakup sweater. The geeky one that says Deleting Feelings on it.” A pause. “And you binged Sword Art Online again last night.”

“The show isn’t that bad,” Diluc says petulantly, because his breakup sweater is warm and comfortable and he’d honestly wear it all the time if it didn’t freak out his significant others.

But he probably won’t have to worry about that for awhile. He doesn’t plan on getting into another relationship for a long time.

Lisa sighs. She seems mildly put out that Diluc is more enamored in taking integrals than looking at her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

The question is structured like a choice, but Diluc has known Lisa for long enough to know that she is going to get the answer out of him no matter what. “He came over while I was preparing our six month anniversary dinner. And then he dumped me and took some of the chicken home.”

“Oh no,” Lisa says, rubbing soothing circles on his back. “It’s only been six months? I thought for sure it’s been way longer than that.”

That’s a lie. Lisa is well aware of how fast his many relationships have crashed and burned. None of them have made it past a year yet.

“At least you got him back with the chicken,” Lisa offers. It does not make Diluc feel better. “We all know your cooking is rather… explosive.”

Diluc sighs. “I don’t need to get him back for anything. We parted on amicable terms.”

Lisa raises an eyebrow. Well, he can’t actually see her because he’s still glaring down at the uncooperative double integral, but that’s probably what she’s doing. “Honey, none of your breakups have been amicable. Tell me what he said to you.”

“Something about how boring I am. And how all I do is study. And that I look like a nerd when I wear these glasses and he’s ashamed to be seen in public with me.”

Lisa laughs. It sounds frankly too sinister to be heard in the university’s public library. “Want me to poison his drink? No one will ever find out.”

This gets Diluc to finally look up from his losing war against calculus. Lisa is grinning into the distance evilly. “Thank you,” he says, oddly touched. “But that’s alright. He didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, anyway.”

Lisa looks offended on his behalf. “Are you serious? You are the least boring person I know. Your allnighter cramming mode is the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen.” She scoffs. “Which your wonderful ex-boyfriend would know, if he actually bothered to stay.”

Diluc’s lips twitch up. He’s not sure how he managed to luck out with befriending Lisa, back in freshman year when she had slid onto the stool next to him in chemistry and forced her way into his life. 

“Besides,” she says, and then reaches forward to tap his glasses. “These things are adorable. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Diluc huffs. “You’re the only one who likes them.”

“Well, they look good. Just because your past boyfriends have bad tastes doesn’t mean I’m wrong,” Lisa says indignantly. “Diluc, you need to get better boyfriends. Anyone who forces you to change your looks isn’t worth it.”

“I know,” Diluc says, poking at his pencil. “I did like him, though.”

Lisa sighs sympathetically. And then she’s reaching into his pocket and helping herself to his phone. “We’re going to get you a rebound,” she announces.

Diluc raises an eyebrow. “I thought that is precisely what we shouldn’t be doing,” he says flatly.

“Well, if I know you, and I do, I’m guessing you’ve sworn off relationships for the rest of your life.” Diluc purses his lips but does not say anything. “And you’re probably going to blame yourself and mope around for months. So I’m getting you a distraction.”

“I have a distraction,” Diluc says, and then points to his calculus homework.

Lisa gives him a look. “Diluc, if eigenvalues and matrices can get you over this breakup, then he wasn’t worth it in the first place.”

“That’s linear algebra, actually.”

“You nerd,” Lisa says affectionately, and then she thrusts his phone back in his face. “There you go. Miss Lisa’s amazing plan.”

Diluc stares at the screen. “You want me to use Tinder,” he says flatly.

Lisa looks too pleased with herself. “A low stress hookup is what you need,” she says. Diluc thinks that getting a hundred on this assignment would do a lot more for his mental health than hooking up with a random stranger, but Lisa continues on before he can voice his thoughts. “And as long as you specify that you’re looking for no strings attached, I’m sure you’ll match with a lot of people.”

“Lisa, I’ve never used this before,” Diluc says a little desperately, because Lisa has that look in her eyes that Diluc has never won against. When she does nothing but continue smirking at him, he adds “And I’ve heard most of the people on here are ugly.”

“Well, your ex -boyfriend wasn’t exactly the definition of beauty either.” Diluc feels a moment of indignation on his behalf, but then remembers he doesn’t have to anymore after he spent nearly half Diluc’s wallet on the crane game in the cafeteria last month. “Besides, you can just reject all the ugly ones.”

Diluc sighs. “Fine,” he says, only because Lisa looks like she’s five seconds away from holding his calculus homework hostage. “I’ll try it for a week, okay? But you have to promise to stop pestering me about it after.”

“Sure.” She waves him off, and then takes out her own phone. “Want me to send you some of your best shots? I pride myself in being a Diluc Ragnvindr connoisseur.”

“...where did you even get half of these?”


Two hours after the submission of his calculus homework, Diluc lies on his dorm bed and scrolls aimlessly through the app.

He sets several modest photos taken from his own phone, the ones Lisa sent him a bit too provocative and possibly illegal given he has no idea when she had taken them. He then tries to think of something interesting for his profile and then realizes it probably doesn’t matter how much he loves mathematics when the purpose of this whole thing is to get him laid, so he leaves most of it blank.

And then he starts mindlessly scrolling through the candidates.

Most of them are okay looking, obvious college students who are trying too hard to get people to like them. Diluc does as Lisa tells him and neutrally swipes left on most people; he isn’t one to judge others by appearances, and he’s sure many of them are nice people.

He doesn’t really have an opinion on most of them, but there are some cute guys that catch his eyes. They look studious and hardworking and Diluc swipes a little harder on those profiles in hopes that they will telepathically decide to match with him.

He doesn’t even need a hookup, he decides. It’d be nice if he could meet a new homework buddy instead.

To his dismay, he realizes that Lisa was right and he hasn’t thought about his ex in nearly thirty minutes. He resumes scrolling.

After a couple more minutes of polite matching, he’s about to put down his phone and find some dinner when he comes across the gaudiest profile in existence.

To start, the man has blue hair and an eyepatch (what), but those aren’t even the things that catch his attention first. No, Diluc’s eyes are instantly drawn to the man’s chest, where the man has purposely popped open a few buttons. He quickly scrolls through all the photos and finds out that they all look the same; a smirking face, one eye crinkled in amusement, and a glaringly naked bosom.

Kaeya Alberich , the name says.

Diluc huffs. He looks like one of those boys that are here because of his parents’ money, who spends all day partying and sleeping with girls and not taking life seriously. He hardly doubts this Kaeya Alberich person needs another man matching with him to boost his ego.

Is the eyepatch real? One of the prompts says. Well, why don’t you find out?

With a sigh, he swipes right, turns off his phone and heads to dinner.

He leaves the phone on the counter while he eats, glancing at it every so often in case of a notification. The screen remains blank even after he finishes his takeout, and he frowns to himself.

He’s certainly not the prettiest person in existence, but he doesn’t think he’s terrible to look at either. And he must have matched with at least one person by now, shouldn’t he, from the almost twenty people he’s swiped on so far?

And then his phone pings.

Diluc forces himself to get up, throw away his trash and wash his utensils before throwing himself onto the sofa with his phone in hand. Someone matched with him, great. Someone decided to take the initiative and DM him first, great. 

A blue profile pic pops up in his messages, not great.

Diluc stares down at his phone in increasing horror as the other man types for a bit, three little dots blinking almost mockingly, before a couple messages pop up.

Kaeya: hey

Kaeya: cute glasses

Diluc: How are you messaging me?

Kaeya: wow, hi to you too

Kaeya: what do you mean? we matched

Diluc: There is no way we matched.

Diluc: No offense, I swiped right on you.

Kaeya: you can’t just preface mean statements with no offense

Kaeya: also, swiping right means you liked my profile

Kaeya: read the fine print wrong?

Diluc: What? No, my friend definitely told me that swiping right meant rejecting.

Kaeya: hmm

Kaeya: looks like your friend tricked you

Lisa wouldn’t do that , Diluc’s in the process of typing but then he realizes, yeah she would .

He takes a deep breath to calm himself and slides open his messages with Lisa. She means well, he reminds himself, even though he doesn’t know what she’s trying to pull with this. And… oh god, does that mean that the only profile he actually liked was this Kaeya Alberich person? No wonder he wasn’t getting any matches. It does make him feel slightly better, even though now he’s stuck with… whatever this is.

Diluc: You tricked me.

Lisa: ?

Lisa: Oh, you found out already

Lisa: That was fast~

Diluc: Why.

Lisa: Diluc, honey, you’re never honest with your feelings

Lisa: This was the easiest way to get you to admit what you wanted

Diluc reminds himself that Lisa is a nice person and bakes really good cookies and this isn’t worth trashing a three and a half year friendship. Probably. He tabs out back to Tinder, and Kaeya has been taking Diluc’s silence as an invitation to spam his messages.

Kaeya: ouch

Kaeya: looks like you really did match with me by accident

Kaeya: well

Kaeya: i knew a cute boy like you matching with me was too good to be true

Diluc: Why are you still messaging me?

Kaeya: wow

Diluc: ...sorry.

Diluc: I’m not sure why you matched with me in the first place.

Diluc: Do you just swipe right on everyone you see?

Kaeya: once again, wow

Kaeya: seems like you have a lot of preconceived notions about me

Diluc: ...sorry.

Diluc: You’re generally not the type of person who would strike up a conversation with me.

Kaeya: and what kind of person is that, hmm?

Kaeya: also i swiped because i think you’re super cute

Kaeya: i assure you i am perfectly capable of swiping left when i want to

Diluc: Right. Sorry. I did this conversation badly.

Diluc: I’m Diluc. Senior double majoring in mathematics and economics. Nice to meet you.

Kaeya: well well look at you

Kaeya: kaeya, also a senior

Kaeya: i’m a law student

Diluc: Oh. Impressive.

Kaeya: for someone like me, yeah?

Diluc: That’s not what I meant…

Kaeya: it’s fine i’m just pulling your leg

Kaeya: well, what are you looking to get out of this

Diluc: My friend wants me to get a quick hookup. I would personally prefer a homework partner.

Kaeya: aw how precious

Diluc:

Kaeya: well, i can fulfil both those roles for you

Kaeya: what do you say we meet up and try things out? i’m on west campus

Diluc: I’m really not sure if that’s a good idea.

Kaeya: it sounds like you don’t have many choices

Kaeya: how many people did you accidentally match with

Diluc: ...just you.

Kaeya: you really have no problem being bluntly offensive, do you?

Kaeya: luckily for you, i like that

Kaeya: what turned you off, by the way? the eyepatch?

Diluc: Your chest, actually.

Kaeya: what

Diluc: It was really distracting.

Diluc: My eyes kept straying to it no matter what.

Kaeya: ohh? i’m glad someone appreciates how voluptuous my chest is

Diluc: Don’t use that word.

Kaeya: what? voluptuous?

Diluc: Goodbye.

Kaeya: i’ll message you again tomorrow

Diluc: No.


“He’s hot,” Lisa says when Diluc shows her the profile the next day during lunch.

“I thought you and Jean were dating,” Diluc says, watching apprehensively as Lisa swipes through all of Kaeya’s photos.

“Dating Jean does not make me blind,” Lisa rolls her eyes. “Look at this man. Quite the charmer, isn’t he? The eyepatch is an acquired look, I’ll admit, but look at that smile. I bet ladies eat it all up.”

Diluc blinks. He’d honestly forgotten the eyepatch was even there. “Right, I wonder if that’s real,” he mutters to himself.

Lisa stares at him for a couple moments, before she comes to some conclusion that he definitely won’t like. A huge smirk blossoms over her face. “Well, well,” she cooes. “Did you get distracted looking at something else? Around the chest area, perhaps?”

Diluc feels his cheeks warm up. “It’s right there in your face,” he says hotly.

“It is a very nice looking chest,” Lisa agrees easily. “I wouldn’t mind rubbing my face over that. Jean would probably give me permission too.”

Lisa. Not in the cafeteria, please.”

Lisa laughs, but hands him back his phone. “So, what’s the problem here? You said he was a law student, so he sounds smart. And he even still wants to talk to you despite how rude you were to him.”

Diluc sighs. “It’s just that I don’t normally talk to people like him. You know…”

Lisa nods understandingly. “Fuckboys.”

“...right.”

She shrugs. “Well, you’re not here to make friends with him anyway. You think he’s hot, he thinks you’re cute, why not give it a go?” When Diluc makes no move to do anything, she swats his arm. “Text him back. Tell him you’re free tonight.”

“...I have a paper due tomorrow morning,” he protests weakly, but does as he’s told when Lisa makes a motion to steal his phone.

Diluc: Hi.

Diluc: Is the offer still on the table?

Kaeya: ohh?

Kaeya: what a pleasant surprise

Kaeya: of course it is

Kaeya: when were you thinking?

Diluc: Are you free tonight?

Kaeya: that should work

Kaeya: does 8 sound ok? i need time after class to get things ready

Diluc: Sure. Thank you.

Diluc: Should I bring anything?

Kaeya: just your cute little face is fine

Diluc: Ugh.

Kaeya: <3

Diluc looks up and sees Lisa unabashedly reading his messages over his shoulder. “Definitely a charmer,” she says, and then gives him a wink. “Have fun tonight, honey. I bet you’ll have a great time.”

Diluc pushes her laughing face away and then gets up to throw out his lunch.


He tries to focus on his classes for the rest of the day, but his mind keeps wandering to a certain blue-haired student. He wonders how awkward the encounter will be, if they’ll even talk or skip straight to the sex. A part of him hopes it’s the latter; he is well aware that he can be difficult to get along with at times, and he’d rather just forgo any blubbering polite talk beforehand.

At the end of the school day, he goes back to his dorm and forgets about Kaeya. He wasn’t lying when he told Lisa he had a paper due the next morning, and so he spends a couple hours finishing it and then jumps in the shower five minutes before their assigned meeting time for a quick wash.

He pulls on some casual sweatshirt and sweatpants, wiping off his glasses before sending Lisa the most unenthusiastic selfie in existence. Lisa’s response is almost instantaneous, a predictable Please tell me you aren’t wearing that , but Diluc ignores the message and steps outside.

Kaeya’s dorm isn’t too far away from his, one of the buildings on west campus away from the noisy party houses. Diluc looks at the gold plate, a shiny 422 , and then knocks on the door.

“One second,” someone says from inside the room. And then there’s the sound of some shuffling, and then the door flies open.

“Sorry for the wait,” Kaeya says, and oh, he dressed up for this. He’s wearing a nice dress shirt, top buttons popped open, with a dark jacket and jeans hugging his body tightly. “Oh wow, look at you.”

“Do you have a problem with what I’m wearing?” Diluc says defensively, finally managing to tear his stare away from Kaeya’s clothes. Judging by the knowing look in the other man’s eye, he had seen Diluc shamelessly ogling him.

“Not at all,” Kaeya says smoothly. And then he’s reaching forward, fingers gently stroking the hair Diluc had accidentally left up in a ponytail. “You look beautiful.”

Diluc flushes. “Well,” he says with a little too much confidence for a person who showed up in sweatpants, “You clean up well yourself.”

Kaeya’s eye twinkles. “I’m glad to have your approval,” he drawls. And then he’s stepping away from the doorway and gesturing for Diluc to follow. “Come in.”

The dorm room is all dark when Diluc enters, and he’s wondering if he was correct in thinking that they were just going to get into the sex without any preface when the smell of something delicious floods his nose. There’s something illuminating the table in the middle of the room and Diluc drifts over curiously.

Oh god. This man cooked him a feast.

There are scented candles scattered over the table, placed aesthetically around dishes of chicken and lasagna and vegetables. A large vase sits in the middle of the display, a blue and red rose with their stalks intertwining intimately. 

“Did you cook all of this?” Diluc manages to ask.

“Of course,” Kaeya hums. “You deserve only the best.”

He then pulls back Diluc’s chair for him, giving him a sweeping bow and a teasing smile before returning to his own seat. Diluc stares around the room, from the petals scattered along the floor to the cd player wafting sensual music to the five course meal on the table, and realizes that he may be a bit out of his element.

“Too much?” Kaeya asks, smile still playing on his lips. It does not escape Diluc’s notice that despite the amount of effort that must have gone into preparing this whole display, Kaeya’s smiles are detached and polite, his eye carefully guarded.

“No, it’s fine,” Diluc says, equally politely. “You didn’t have to.”

Kaeya shrugs. And then he leans in, amusement written all over his face. “I wanted to seduce you,” he whispers, breath fanning warmly against Diluc’s mouth. “Is it working?”

Diluc feels himself shiver and wills a blank look to his face. “Free food is appreciated.”

It has to be the lamest thing he could’ve possibly said, yet Kaeya still laughs. “I’m glad to serve,” he winks, and somehow manages to twirl the lasagna sensually around his fork. “Well then, Diluc, tell me about yourself while we eat.”

Diluc does, as he swallows down lasagna that is too good to have been cooked by a university student. They talk for awhile, sharing their interests and their studies. Kaeya is surprisingly a good listener, nodding along to everything he says, and Diluc finds himself strangely engaged in weird stories that Kaeya tells.

“You play chess?” Kaeya says conversationally, and then brushes the hair out of his eyes and places his hand on Diluc’s leg in one smooth motion. Diluc’s almost impressed with how casual he managed to make it look. “We should play a game sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Diluc says, hyper-aware of the fingers crawling lightly up his leg. “That sounds nice.”

Kaeya leans in, fingers brushing against Diluc’s clothed cock. “Did you enjoy the dinner?” he murmurs.

“It was delicious,” Diluc says, breath hitching when the palm of Kaeya’s hand presses down more firmly against his erection. His eyes follow as Kaeya’s tongue darts out, wetting his lips, before the blue-haired man closes the gap and presses their lips together.

Kaeya’s lips are soft against his, and he tastes like tomato sauce. He cups the back of Diluc’s head, using it to deepen the kiss, and his fingers accidentally get tangled in Diluc’s hair.

“Sorry—” Kaeya says when he accidentally yanks Diluc’s head back, but he stops when a frankly embarrassingly needy whine leaves Diluc’s lips.

There are a couple seconds of silence when Diluc debates whether or not it’d be worth it to climb under the table and never resurface again. And then a slow, evil grin forms on Kaeya’s face, and Diluc’s really considering the table plan when Kaeya drags him forward and mashes their lips together again.

Diluc gasps into the kiss, feels an insistent tongue probing his lips for entry. Before he can do anything, Kaeya presses down hard on his cock, grinding with the heel of his palm, and Diluc can’t help the rather obscene moan that comes tearing out of him. He’s still reeling from the shock when Kaeya thrusts his tongue inside his mouth, sweeping through and thoroughly violating it.

Fuck. It feels really good.

They end up on the bed somehow, a mess of limbs after tripping over chairs and rose petals. Kaeya’s body is a warm weight on top of him, lips locked against his while his hands wander under Diluc’s sweatshirt. He pushes his pelvis down, rubbing his cock against Diluc’s, and Diluc’s already hard by the time they part of air.

“Feeling good, Princess?” Kaeya teases, fingers cold as they pinch Diluc’s nipples.

“Don’t call me that,” Diluc says, and then rips Kaeya’s jacket off.

“Someone’s a little eager,” Kaeya laughs, allowing Diluc to manhandle his dress shirt off as well. “I like that.”

It is a little unfair how Kaeya looks even hotter when he’s shirtless, arms toned with lean muscle and the faint traces of abs peeking out. Kaeya smirks knowingly and wriggles around for a bit, and Diluc rolls his eyes and pinches his hip and pulls him down for another kiss.

In hindsight, the sweatshirt was probably not the best idea, because it takes some maneuvering to get it off. After Diluc finally gets the blasted thing off him, he throws it off to the side and is impatiently reaching for Kaeya again to resume making out when he notices that the other man is staring.

“What?” Diluc says, a little defensively when Kaeya’s eye traces around his naked torso.

“Beautiful,” Kaeya says simply. His fingers draw over Diluc’s stomach. “You work out?”

“Just because I study a lot doesn’t mean I can’t maintain my body,” Diluc scoffs, and does not mention how he benches almost two hundred pounds a day for stress relief.

Kaeya laughs. “Always so defensive,” he teases, one hand groping for something on the nightstand while the other one slides under the waistband of Diluc’s sweatpants. “Take a compliment, Princess.”

Diluc’s about to say something when Kaeya’s hand successfully finds his cock, and all coherent thought leaves his brain.

“There we go,” Kaeya mutters, holding down Diluc’s hip as he continues to stroke him. “Your body is so honest.”

Diluc glares at him, though the effect is ruined when another gasp tears out of him and his hips snap upwards involuntarily. He grabs for the condom in Kaeya’s hand and impatiently rips it open with his teeth.

Kaeya’s eye widens slightly. “That was hot,” he says, and there’s an obvious tent in his jeans as he pulls his zipper down. He stops when Diluc starts to unroll the condom. “What are you doing?”

“What?” Diluc says, Kaeya’s hand on his dick getting in the way of putting the condom on.

Kaeya smirks. “Oh Princess, please don’t tell me you think you’re topping.”

Diluc stares at him. “What else would I be doing?”

“I’ve never seen someone look more like a bottom in my life,” Kaeya teases, and then he takes the condom away from Diluc like a parent taking a toy away from a child. “Your job is to just lie there and look pretty.”

Diluc’s about to protest, but then Kaeya’s nails scrape against the underside of his cock and the sudden spike of pain causes him to thrash, his back arching up off the bed.

Kaeya gives him a knowing look. “See?” he murmurs, and there’s a quiet squirt as he wets his fingers with lube. “I know what’s good for you.”

There’s something cold prodding at his entrance, and then a finger pushes inside roughly. “Never done this before?” Kaeya simpers, not giving Diluc nearly enough time to catch his breath before pushing another finger inside. 

It stings, but the pleasurable spike of pain shudders through Diluc’s body. “No,” he hisses, gritting his teeth as Kaeya’s fingers curl. “My past relationships didn’t like it.”

“Oh?” There’s a weird look in Kaeya’s eye. “And pass up a chance to wreck a princess like you? They don’t know what they’re missing out on.”

“It’s fine. Some people are uncomfortable with it,” Diluc says, and then pushes against the fingers impatiently. “You talk big, but you haven’t done anything yet. I’m falling asleep here.”

“You’re a lot more feisty than you appear, aren’t you? I like that.” Kaeya leans in, a sinister smirk on his face as he pushes his fingers all the way in to the knuckles. Diluc lets out a yelp at the sudden intrusion. “Don’t worry, darling. By the time I’m done with you, the only thing you’ll be doing is screaming my name.”


Diluc wakes up in the morning and hisses at the flare of pain on his back. Kaeya had smiled sweetly and then raked his fingernails down his back, painting angry red crescents on Diluc’s skin that looked too vicious from someone that looked so pleasant.

He looks over at the sleeping man next to him. Last night had been… nice. Okay, it had been a lot more than nice. He hadn’t been lying when he said that none of his past relationships had indulged him so thoroughly. He remembers bringing it up the first couple times, asking to be choked or hurt or roughed up. And everytime, he had been met with a look of disgust.

After a couple times, he learned to stop asking.

“Good morning, Princess,” comes a voice next to him. Kaeya’s eye blinks lazily, lips curled up in a smile at the sight of the red marks on Diluc’s skin. “You look delicious.”

Diluc eyes the fingernails imprinted on Kaeya’s shoulders. “Was it fine?” he says warily.

“Fine?” Kaeya laughs. “You don’t need to worry your pretty little head about that. I enjoyed myself.” He catches a piece of Diluc’s hair and twirls it around a finger. “Are you headed off already?”

“I should,” Diluc admits, but succumbs to one long, gentle kiss. It feels far too intimate given the rather mindless sex they had the previous night, and it takes him a couple seconds after they part to catch his breath. “I have work to do.”

Kaeya’s eye twinkles. “Aren’t you precious?” he cooes. “Are we doing this again? Or did you plan on this being a one time thing?”

He doesn’t look too bothered about it either way, which is a little unfair because Diluc feels like he might combust if he doesn’t get to ride Kaeya’s dick at least one more time before he dies. “I’m amenable to continuing this arrangement,” he says as nonchalantly as he can.

“Amenable—okay,” Kaeya snorts. “Well, since you’re too shy to say it, I will. I’d love to fuck you again.” He leans in and bites the bottom of Diluc’s ear. “Want a quick goodbye handjob?”

“You don’t have to—” Diluc starts, but he gets cut off when Kaeya’s hand lazily wraps around his cock and jerks upwards. “Never mind. Don’t stop.”

“So needy,” Kaeya laughs softly in his ear, rutting his half-hard erection against Diluc’s thigh. There are hints of bruises on Diluc’s hips from their rough activities the previous night, and Kaeya presses down on one of them hard

The flare of pain shoots straight to his cock. Diluc keens and spills into Kaeya’s hand, back arching off the bed. When he comes down from his high, panting heavily, he can feel a hard erection still pressed against his leg.

Kaeya, however, seems more interested in the white substance coating his hand. When he catches Diluc looking, he gives him a wink and provocatively licks each finger clean, one by one.

“Text me when you want to meet up again,” he says, reaching for his discarded pants. “I’m normally busy, but I’ll be available for you whenever you want.”

“Wait.” Diluc lunges forward, his movements slow and sluggish post-orgasm. Kaeya looks at him questioningly. “Let me repay the favor.”

“I thought you had work to do,” Kaeya says, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t leave any debts unreturned,” Diluc says hotly, probably a little too competitively for the current situation. Before Kaeya can say anything, Diluc leans down and takes Kaeya’s whole cock in his mouth.

Kaeya Alberich, Diluc realizes, is a lot more tolerable when he’s too busy moaning to say anything smart.