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Hee Jun expected to be welcomed with open arms, but the look on Kang Ta’s face when he opened the door was less then ecstatic.
“I’m home.” Hee Jun said with as much cheer as he could muster.
“You’re early.” Kang Ta muttered, then shrugged. “Oh well, welcome home from the military, honey!”
Kang Ta reached out to hug him, but Hee Jun caught his arms. “I’ve been gone for two years, aren’t you excited to see me?...Are you cheating on me? Again?”
“No! I promised remember? Strictly masturbation for two years. I have the receipts for hand cream to prove it. It’s just...I have a surprise, and I was hoping to surprise you with it, but oh well, come in!”
Hee Jun followed Kang Ta into his home, hesitantly looking around for his ‘surprise’. As they entered the living room though, it was obvious what it was. Chae Yeon and Binu sat on the couch waiting patiently.
“Kang Ta.” Hee Jun hissed quietly. “How many times do I have to tell you I can’t get it up if people are watching.”
“No, no, that isn’t it.” Kang Ta assured.
“I’m not having a four way either.”
“Would you just tell him.” Binu snapped.
“Hee Jun, we’re having a baby.” Kang Ta said, bubbling with excitement. “We’re all having a baby!”
Hee Jun looked from Kang Ta to the two women. Chae Yeon, he noticed, was indeed fat. “ you mean?” He asked slowly.
“These lesbians wanted to have a baby, so I gave them my sperm. I thought since you were going to be done with your military service, we could settle down and have a baby! We’re all going to share it.”
Despite Kang Ta’s joy, Hee Jun couldn’t join in the celebration. “How could you do this?! You didn’t even ask me! This is a big commitment Kang Ta, you don’t understand what this means!”
Kang Ta’s face fell and he took Hee Jun’s face in his hands. “Don’t worry about it. We wont be taking care of the baby all alone. The lesbians will have it most of the time.”
“Stop calling us ‘the lesbians’.” Binu warned.
“Didn’t you even think you should run this by me?” Hee Jun asked, knowing it was futile.
“I thought it would be a good surprise. I thought you would be happy... Don’t you want to have a baby with me?”
“With you?” Hee Jun asked. “This isn’t with you. This is you with a lesbian and a he-she. I’ll just be here as the guy you have sex with.”
“That isn’t true!” Kang Ta assured. “Besides, it might be yours. Considering all the times you jizzed into me, there is no telling what sperm is mine or what sperm is yours.”
“Oh God, please let the baby take after you...” Binu said to Chae Yeon.
“It’s going to be alright.” Chae Yeon said to them all. “We’re all mature adults, let’s talk this out while we can.”
“I’m guessing an abortion is out of the question.” Hee Jun muttered, seating himself across from the women.
“Yes, it is.” Chae Yeon said darkly. “The baby will be here any day.”
“Why did you pick Kang Ta, of all people?” Hee Jun asked, not able to hide the amazement in his voice.
“He’s handsome, and...He’s just handsome.” Chae Yeon explained, at a loss.
“I am, I really am.” Kang Ta said obliviously as he seated himself in Hee Jun’s lap.
“We had planned on using my sperm.” Binu explained. “I kept some just in case. But, about a year ago our power went out and everything in the freezer had to be thrown out.”
“It’s just how it sounds.” Chae Yeon said as Hee Jun opened his mouth.
Hee Jun rubbed at his temple, trying to make his head ache subside. “I just don’t know if I’m ready for this.”
“Come on Hee Jun,” Kang Ta said sweetly. “This baby needs us, it’ll need fathers.”
Binu scoffed. “Please, I’m more man then you’ll ever be.”
“And I’m more women then you’ll ever be!” Kang Ta snapped at her. “With your gross inverted penis.”
Binu jumped to her feet, sending Kang Ta toppling over the side of his chair in fear. He scrambled to his feet and ran off with Binu close behind him.
Hee Jun waved toward them. “Look at that and tell me you don’t have second thoughts!”
“Oh, don’t worry. We all have enough money for any therapy the child will need.” Chae Yeon joked.
“Physical therapy...” Hee Jun muttered. “The kid will probably get stepped on if it doesn’t first get left in an over heated car while Kang Ta is at the mall. What sex is the baby anyway?”
“We’re waiting until the birth to find out. We wanted a traditional birth.”
“Ya, this is all real traditional...”
The door bell rang then and Kang Ta forgot he was being chanced long enough to answer it.
“The guests are arriving!” He cheered.
Hee Jun looked to Chae Yeon who smiled back at him.
“You came at a good time. We’re having my baby shower.”