Actions

Work Header

Plot Bunny

Chapter Text

“-Are you a boy? Or are you a girl?-”

“A boy” I answer with a deadpan “Oh come on, Uxie. Why do I have answer all this obvious question before reincarnating or transmigrating?”

[Blame Arceus, he the one who make the rules] Uxie said helplessly [It basically already universe law for people that transmigrating to answer it. Thought, most of them don’t remember about it]

“-Do you remember your name?-”

“Ray Magnum”

[That not your name] Uxie noted

“Its a new world” I waved my non-existent arm  “I want to start fresh, using my old names is will not do any good”

“-What is the boy names?-”

I stare at Uxie with my non-existent eyes, in which Uxie even with his closed eyes look into the nothingness avoiding my stare

“Seriously who think gave a good idea for a random guy choose someone name?!” My non-existent eyes twitched “what happen if I name this supposed rival of mine as example ‘Shitface’?”

“What kind sane parent do that?! The childcare will knock their house within seconds! And they will get assigned into mental hospital!”

[Calm on Ray. I am not the one who made the question. Its Arceus so direct your complain at him] Uxie try to placate Ray reasonably justified anger [after all unlike your world this is a universe where Black-2 and White-2 is accepted as a normal name. Even if not accepted your rival parent will receive some kind prophecy to name their kid ‘Shitface’]

“But isn’t this-”

[CALM DOWN!] Uxie raise his voice, in which I decided to shut up, it was the first time for him angry at my bunch of complain since founding me in the void [I will ask Arceus to remove this part of question later, so for now just think a decent name for your supposed rival]

“But this is not realistic?!”

[This is honestly the problem with you people that come from world that lack supernatural or fantasy element] Uxie shakes in head, while his short arm touching it as if to calm his headaches

[Let me ask you Ray…do your universe created by Llama God?]

“No?”

[Do a giant fish and lizard create the land and the sea?]

“No?”

[Do some of  the star is secretly a slumbering physic dragon?]

“No?”

[Do your world rat capable of shooting lightning?]

“No?”

[Are you finally understand?! Did it finally goes through that thick non-existent skull of yours?! Don’t say it was not realistic or not! From my point of view your world is not realistic!] Uxie ranted [In your world term, you are now is like a Windows user that first time using Mac that complained why it was not the same as Windows even thought it have same basic!]

[So what if in my world 10 years old already allowed to travel legally without guardian?]

[So what if my world have a slug that have the same surface as the sun?]

[So what if my world have a belle that capable making blackhole out nowhere?]

[It was normal! So stop complaining it was not realistic. Heck isn’t your current state is unrealistic?!]

“…wow there is a lot pent up anger in there” I commented as reflex to calm my mind. What Uxie said is making sense, I need to stop judging this Universe using my previous life standard, my standard, Isn’t it was one of the reason why the judges of afterlife is throwing me into the void?

I really need to be more open-minded…

“Sorry Uxie, thanks for reminder. If you not state it in my non-existent face I will still stuck with my previous life thinking which contradict with my wish to start anew” I bowed to him in my non-existent body to show him my sincerity. After all he is right and I am wrong in this case…and annoying your saviour is a bad idea in all kind of situation

I really don’t want to end in the void again.

[Well, as long you area understand] Uxie harrumphed

---

Who am I? Well, my previous name doesn’t matter. So you guys can just call me Ray Magnum

You will want to asks what I am doing here answering some question that start suspiciously like the opening of Pokemon games?

Well, the short story is I am dead and annoyed the judges afterlife with my no respect attitude. The result? Spoiler! Afterlife didn’t have human right! So they literally can do what they want, and they is already patient for them to give courtesy to random deceased human in their jobs!

Well I really regret that decision in my first 1 minutes staying in the void

What? You say I am whiny bitch that can’t survive in place like that?

Mind you normal human is almost driven crazy just by staying in the quietest room on earth for 45 minutes. This is more than hundred-thousand times worse than that.

Just the first 5 second, even with my non-existent body, I am driven to madness…which in hindsight why I  complain almost at anything when Uxie is getting me out of there in the next 10 minutes

It was a coping mechanism to make sure I am no longer in there

There will be some complainer, ‘isn’t we human is great at adapting?’. My bro, dude, and zoidberg…humanity freaking needed around 200.000 years to turn earth into acceptable  home(for the most part) using the strength on number! If we can adapt in matter of minutes, alone, that will be great and cut our history freaking into 100 years!

Anyway, the reason Uxie saves me is simple

There is a kid with world-changing fate in some alternate parallel pokemon world is will lacking a soul the moment its born. Because it was merely alternate parallel world they didn’t bother making a new soul which according to Uxie is hard and costly and totally not worth it if it was not for the main universe

So with that they decided to scour the void, which according to them some time there will be some soul thrown into them from another universe.

If soul is costly to make why there is universe that throw them out? Well according to Uxie it was easier to mass-produce but creating a single custom one is quite tiring

Uxie found other before me but according to him the newest one at least 1 hour ago which already start disintegrating

Good and Bad moral? If Uxie didn’t like my personality I will be already being mind-wiped into blank state before being brought here…which according to him my only flaw is my loose mouth, which I admit brought me trouble in my previous live

Hmm? It seems I already complete all the question

“Uxie I finally complete all the question!”

[Is that so?] Uxie check all my answer [Okay it was good, you even give your rival a quite good name!]

“So what now?”

[Well, I give you a cheat and you can go enjoying your new life]

My non-existent eyes widened hearing the world cheat