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The Edge of Desire

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“What did you say?”

Jamie swallowed down the instant flash of irritation that came from embarrassment more than actual strife and he took a slow, measured breath as he tried to figure out how to have this conversation. He had known John for years, counted him as a friend for nearly all of them. In the past two, they had finally stopped dancing around each other and had become much more. Jamie still couldn’t believe that he counted the English Lord as his lover, but he was proud to have John, despite the hardships they had faced.

“Ye ken what I said, John… It has been two years to the day that ye first took me to bed, I wish to celebrate that. I’m giving ye all of me, however ye want tonight. I wilna refuse any order ye give me.” And it was a great concession on his part to do so. He trusted John implicitly but he still struggled at times, certain actions or words enough to throw him into his past and ruin the moment.

He was determined to get through this without those moments though.

John’s eyes were darkened with desire as he stared up into Jamie’s eyes. A slim hand came up to run across Jamie’s shoulder, around the back of his neck and up into his hair, gripping it and using it to guide Jamie down to kiss him. Jamie loved the feeling of the man’s hand in his hair and the flash of pain that kept him grounded in the now. He obliged with the obvious direction, bending down to kiss John, relinquishing control as John bit his lip and licked into Jamie’s mouth. He sighed into it, lifting his hands to wrap around John’s hips, grounding himself as he whimpered into the kiss before he was pushed back by a hand on his chest.

John was flushed, his blue eyes searching for something on Jamie’s face before he smiled and stepped back. Jamie tried to keep his displeasure from showing too strongly on his face as he waited. John backed up to the table and chairs in the corner of the room and pulled one out, reaching up to shrug out of his frock so he was left with a waistcoat, shirt and breeches and he took a seat in the chair, eyes wandering across Jamie’s body. “Very well,” John agreed as he settled a hand on one thigh, the other resting on the table. “Then I expect you to do exactly as I say.”

Jamie felt a shiver of dread? Anticipation? Slide down his spine and he nodded once in agreement, green eyes narrowing as he took in the smug look on his lover’s face. He straightened then, waiting as John let his eyes wander his body. The silence grew thick between them, hanging and heavy as Jamie waited for the first command.

Finally, John sighed one of those little breathy sighs he gave indicating his pleasure. “Go to the bed, underneath is a box. I want you to fetch it for me and place it on the bed. Do not open it.”

Jamie tried not to let his surprise or suspicion show as he moved to follow the order, kneeling on the rug beside the bed and reaching down under the wooden frame to pull out the thick black wooden box. He hadn’t ever seen it before and the mystery only served to frustrate him as he wanted to know what was contained within it.

He straightened, letting his hands slide across the top as he turned back to John and lifted an eyebrow at him. It earned him narrowed eyes and a smirk that sent another prickle of fear down his spine.

“Good Boy, Take off your shoes.” John’s tone was calm and measured but there was something darker there. Something that held promise and control that Jamie envied.

Jamie felt his own cheeks flame hot with the embarrassment of being praised for such a simple task. He hated that something simple like that, and from a younger man, could make his heart race so. He bent then, carefully pulling his boots off and then moving to settle them instinctually by the wardrobe when John cleared his throat. Jamie’s spine straightened and he turned to look at John who was giving him an unamused look. It was that same commanding stare that made soldiers balk and stammer. “Did I tell you to move, Fraser? To put them off on the other side of the room?” “Nay John.”

“I’m sorry?” That tone again… the one that promised a punishment.

Jamie felt his own skin burn and he cleared his throat, ‘Nay Sir, ye didnae give me leave to move.”

“Drop. Them.”

Jamie shivered, his cock twitching and trying to stand as the boots clattered to the wooden floor noisily. “Aye, Sir.”

The quick response earned Jamie a small approving smile, not one that showed teeth, but the slow spread of lips that spoke of promises made in the dark. “Good, now your stock, Fraser. Be good for me, do only as you’re told.”

Jamie nodded quickly and then reached up. He felt a flash of mortification as he realized his hands were trembling. He steadied them with a slow breath and then flicked open the knot at his throat, unwinding the material to expose his throat. He swallowed and watched as John’s eyes caught there, staring with an intensity that Jamie rarely saw outside of court or a duel.

He tried his best to be sensual, to hide his unease at not knowing what was coming next and he slid the material down across his shoulder and held it out, letting it drop to the floor in a soft flutter before it hit the planks.

“Very good. Socks now.” John’s voice was deeper, slow and deliberate and Jamie bent, gripping one, then the other to drag down over his calves and drop next to his boots. The rug was soft and plush beneath his feet, keeping him warm in the slightly chilly air and he felt a sense of pride at how John’s cock was already stiff in his breeches.

“So obedient… Good boy, the waistcoat now.”

John’s voice was slow and controlled but distracted and Jamie bent his head as he let his fingers slowly flick the buttons free before he allowed the brocade to fall down, sliding down his arms before he let it drop behind him. He tried to hide how affected he was by this. The orders came, cool and controlled but Jamie felt like he was falling apart piece by piece with each article of clothing he removed.

“Hair ribbon, I want to see it wild and untamed,” John managed after his eyes traveled up and down his body.

“Aye weel, that isnae much different from what I usually look like,” Jamie joked but only received a raised eyebrow in response. Jamie quieted, a little disconcerted as John usually laughed at his jokes. He reached up behind his head and tugged at the simple bow to loose the ribbon holding back his hair.

It was longer now, and free of the binding, sprang about his head and shoulders. He sighed as it allowed the tension in his hair to ease and he dropped the ribbon as his left hand came up to tease through his hair, allowing it to cascade across the front of his shoulders as well.

His eyes narrowed lightly as he saw John shift slightly, his right hand flexing across his thigh. Jamie was sure he could see a bit of movement in John’s breeches in response to the motion and he arched his neck to pop it as he waited for his next order. It was powerful, arousing a lord with something nay simple like freeing his hair. He wondered if John was imagining his own hands gripping it as Jamie sucked his cock.

That image flashed in Jamie’s own mind and he could feel the rise of blood in his cheeks as he licked his lips. John’s voice was hoarse in response to that, blue eyes focusing on Jamie’s lips, “your shirt now, Jamie.” The command came quieter than the previous, but the steel of it was unmistakable.

Jamie hated that he still hesitated to take his shirt off. Even now, years after the scarring had occurred he had to brace himself to drag the linen free in order to bare himself before his lover. John was hardly unmarked, but the thick scarring from his multiple floggings that left his back nearly senseless.

John never seemed to care though, gripping it tightly, gently running his fingers over the jagged lines, pressing kisses whenever Jamie was close. So Jamie breathed through the hesitation and yanked it up and over his head, his hair tumbling into disarray and sticking on ends as he dropped the shirt to the floor.

John’s cock was hard now, visible through his pants and he brought his hand up to cup it through his breeches. “Good Boy, Jamie, your pants now,” he ordered, voice hardening again.

Jamie breathed through it and then unfastened his pants and dropped them, standing nude and unworried before his lover.

John breathed out slowly, measured and he shifted, letting one leg drape over the arm of his chair. “Go to the box, Jamie. Open it for me.”

Jamie felt his lips twitch as he moved forward to the box and let his fingers tease against the locks before he flicked them open and lifting the lid. He stared down into the box, seeing polished horn phalluses and flushed red, eyes darting over to John. “Christ, John… where did ye find these?”

“France of course, was there any doubt? I want you to get the oil in the side table, kneel down here,” he took a pillow and put it down in front of him on the floor, “and fill yourself, starting with the smallest.”

Jamie felt his heart race with the ease that John spoke and he moved to the side table to retrieve the small bottle of oil and then carried the case to the table and knelt down on the pillow facing John.

““Slowly turn aroun- did I not just say ‘slowly’?” John demanded as Jamie quickly moved to obey, freezing at the reprimand in John’s tone and slowing down as he turned and knelt facing the bed. “Good boy, Jamie. Now. Coat your finger, I want you to spread your legs for me, Darling and slick yourself up then I want to watch you prepare yourself enough to take that first prick. Once you’ve worked yourself open, if you’re very good, I’ll let you take mine.”

“Christ, aye John, I’ll be good for ye,” Jamie panted as he quickly poured a bit of oil into his palm and coated a finger before bending forward slightly, legs spreading until his thighs ached from the stretch and he reached back to tease at his own hole.

He quickly pressed from one finger to two and pushed them in, shifting to try and get a good angle. He could barely reach back to penetrate himself until another pillow was tossed down that he could use for his chest and head. Spread out like that on his knees with his arse facing John allowed him to push his fingers deeper and he closed his eyes, reveling in the sound of John panting behind him.

He felt sick, depraved as he pushed his fingers in deeper until two didn’t burn before pulling them out. He heard John shifting in his seat and peeked back to find him with his breeches undone and his cock in hand, stroking up the hard length. The sight of it, with the thick head wet with arousal made Jamie’s mouth water.

“The first one now,” John ordered, though his voice was strained and deep.

The raspy quality of it sent shivers down Jamie’s spine and he groaned and reached for the first dildo, slicking it and then pushing it into himself. He could hear John’s groan, heard the creak of leather as John moved on the chair, the stutter in his panting and Jamie’s lips curled up in satisfaction.

He pushed it in, enjoying the slow slide of the cool bone inside of him. He thrust it twice, angling his hand and letting a filthy moan fall from his lips as it pushed up against his prostate, the pleasure rippling over his ruined back and making his cock twitch and sway where it hung.

“Christ Jamie, the next one,” John ordered weakly.

Jamie didn’t dare disobey and quickly pushed himself up, allowing the thin dildo to fall to the pillow from his ass as he reached for the wider one and moved back into position.

“Fuck you look so good like this, Fraser. I love watching you take a cock,” John praised. “Be a good boy now. Push it in.”

Jamie coated the cool length in oil and did so, emboldened by the filthy orders falling from John’s mouth. His mouth fell open and he grunted as he pushed back against the blunt head of the fake cock and reached down to stroke his own before a noise signaled movement behind him and a belt leather caught him across the thigh.

Jamie cried out sharply, precum leaking from his cock to the silk cover of the pillow in response to the strike His hand released his cock and fisted instead on the floor as John scolded him, vision going white as he bit his lip to the point he could taste blood. “No Fraser, you were not given leave to touch yourself, were you?”

“Nay, my apologies Major,” Jamie managed as his hips stuttered forward and he clenched around the cool rod buried within him. He shoved it deeper, dragging it nearly free and fucking himself with it desperately. He was quivering with how badly he wanted to cum and it took all of his willpower to keep himself from grabbing his own prick.

He thrust the dildo into himself over and over, each thrust making his thighs tremble and his skin pulse in time with the heartbeat thundering in his ears.

“The last one, open yourself up for me, I’ll show you little tenderness,” John managed though with how tight his voice was, Jamie wasn’t sure how well he’d make good on his promise.

He quickly traded out the fake cock in him for the largest of the set, bypassing the two in between. He dragged the second dildo out of his body as he reached for the largest in the box and dropped it carelessly, the sound of it clattering off the pillow to the floor loud on the wooden floor.

Jamie was so desperate for it, for John, that he didn’t bother slicking it, just feverishly pushed himself down to the pillow and pushed it in with a low cry, rocking his hips back on the wide length. It burned and that extra bit of pain made him slam his hand down on the floor as he sank down on the length, each exhale of breath a needy whine.

“Christ. Jamie…” John sounded as wrecked as Jamie felt and then Jamie forced his eyes open at a clatter behind him, hands running up his thighs and blunt nails scratching up across his arse and around to grip his hips. “Need you now, Jamie”

Jamie nodded quickly and took the oil, thrusting it back at John as he thrust the dildo in and out of him once more, “Aye, aye please. Christ man, I need ye John.”

John’s hands squeezed Jamie’s hips before they disappeared and then joined Jamie’s on the dildo. John twisted it, thrusting it back into Jamie before pulling it out and letting his thumbs catch on the rim of Jamie’s hole, teasing him as he held Jamie spread open before pushing himself in with a single thrust.

Jamie swore and slammed his hand down on the wooden floor in response, eyes closing as he arched his back. He felt John rutting against him quickly and he closed his eyes as John’s cock pushed directly against his prostate, the wave of pleasure making his skin tighten into gooseflesh. “Aye John! Christ right there, I wilna last... please!”

John bent to kiss Jamie’s shoulder and then gripped Jamie’s hips again and started to fuck into him with a brutal pace. He wasn’t gentle about it, but the prep that Jamie had done made his thrusts easy and fast with the oil. “Christ… so good for me, you feel heavenly Jamie… I’m going to fill you up.”

“Aye Christ… Going to make me drip?” Jamie laughed though his snarky return strangled off as John reached down to grab his cock and stroke it firmly.

“Cum Jamie, Now… I want you. To cum on my cock. Right. Now.”

Jamie had already been close, had been clinging to his pleasure and the command eased that stranglehold he had forced on himself and he buried his face into the pillow beneath his head to cry out John’s name, screaming his pleasure into the silk.

John’s hips still snapped forward a few more times as Jamie tightened around him and came over his hand. The hand disappeared from Jamie’s cock and he knew that John was licking his seed from it when the man moaned and stilled, spilling inside of him.

The room fell silent around them, their breathing the only noise in the sudden quiet until Jamie couldn’t help but laugh, his arms and legs shaky as a newborn colt. “Christ, John… ye do have the best surprises.”

“You are very welcome Darling,” came the soft reply. “Now, carry me to bed. I don’t think I can walk.”

“Aye Sir.”