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Truly Damned

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Why would he say that? Why would he smile to him like that? What were those words supposed to mean? Why?


He couldn’t believe he was actually getting excited over this.


He was probably joking” he said to himself but what if...


His hopeless heart prayed for everything to be real.


He didn’t mean it that way” but even if he did mean it, that wouldn’t make any sense.

Why would he be even interest in me? It can’t be.


He always seems so distance even when we are close; even if he says he considers me his friend, I can’t never reach him.


He’s like a isolated island” he though to himself and quietly chuckled.


“So why did he say that so suddenly?”

This was really giving him a headache. But he couldn’t think of anything else apart of him. 



When the other said it, it had been inevitable not to notice how his heart started beating faster by the second. 


When he looked at him right in the eye and out of the blue said those words.


When he literally could have said anything else.


But he didn’t.


And it confused him more.


He blushed one more time again while he was on his way home.


It didn’t make a huge difference since he had been blushing all day long, from the set to all the way to the dressing room. 


And then all the way to the bathroom; still trying to calm down his thumping heart and make the red in his face to go away.


It took him 10 whole minutes and a member of the staff, repeatedly knocking the door, telling him that it was time to go back to the set.



He covered his face and let out a little content strangled noise, he was able to do so just because he was alone. He was really feeling a roller coaster of emotions, and everything because of him. Because of that good-looking bastard.


He bit his lower lip trying to hide the smile growing in his face, the sole though of him had him blushing once again.  

And even though he wanted to blame him so much.

He couldn’t.


Because this was all probably just his mind playing with him.


He was thankful nobody noticed, and if they did; they didn’t say anything and just collectively decided to let him blush and stutter like a high schooler by himself.


He really hoped the younger man didn’t notice his cheeks and neck getting considerably red as he processed what the other had said to him. 


It was pretty obvious; he had to admit. But that didn’t make less disgustingly embarrassing.


The younger man seemed unmoved, he was smiling pretending like nothing happened but he surely knew damn well what he had done, what he had caused.

He felt like he loved and hated the younger at the same time.

Because Kyunghoon’s actions had consequences and Heechul was suffering by himself.



When he reached home he still couldn’t let go of it. He felt his stomach twist and the well known “butterflies” there. And the smile seemed impossible to rip off his face.


He spent hour looking at the ceiling, still thinking about him and if there was any hide meaning in those words. 


He let out a sigh, still feeling that lingering sensation in his body; the younger’s deep gaze and how he looked at him straight in the eye like he knew everything about him, the hand holding, the little movement in the eyebrow and that final smirk almost unnoticeable but that had him feeling like a mess.




He felt vulnerable, like he was at his mercy. The other with a few words could make him like this, weak in his knees and too close to having a heart attack. 




And still, he wanted to feel like that again.



He would be and do anything if that meant the younger would look at him like that again. Let the other ruin him. 

And after all the things Kyunghoon could possibly do to him, he would probably fall even more deeper for him.


He was damned. Truly damned.




“Then why don’t you show us what you have learned?” Youngchul insisted, inviting him to say something.


“Tell is how you feel in English.” Heechul said holding the fake microphone closer to him.


Kyunghoon’s hesitated a few seconds and then smiled handsomely, looking at the other straight in the eye.


“I’m so happy… you are so beautiful”


























Heechul was truly damned.