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We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve

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"Sterling, you are my daughter"

That's all it took.

That one sentence was all it took to completely destroy the image Sterling had of every truth she's ever known. She looked to Blair completely lost, as if finding out their mother having a psychopathic identical twin sister wasn't enough new information for one night. But surely that would mean... no... Sterling and Blair weren't twins? They were cousins?

The looks on both Debbie and Anderson's faces were a mix between guilty and distraught. That little truth reveal could potentially tear their, seemingly perfect, family apart.
Meanwhile, Dana was still on the opposite end of Debbie's shotgun, and after the reveal of that shred of information, she was definitely not letting up any time soon. Instead, she gripped the gun tighter in anger and held her aim steady so Dana knew she wasn't getting out of this the easy way, like she had done her whole life.

The news had been thrown at her too fast for her to catch and she couldn't quite comprehend what everything meant now. Her whole life suddenly had a hazy cloud surrounding it, as did her future. After taking a quick second to let the situation sink in, Sterling took off running to Bowsers car. She had thought for a minute that she was safe and back with her family in one piece, but it seems she was led into a false sense of security. Deep down she knew something about it was too easy. She knew it wouldn't be so simple for Bowser and Blair to just locate her and leave the scene unscathed, but this was definitely not what she expected. A shootout? Or maybe even a money exchange? Sure, that seems like standard ransome procedure. But losing her sister, parents and girlfriend, or hookup, or whatever she could even call it, in a single night was just way too much.

Once Dana and her crazy boyfriend were detained by Bowser, both Debbie and Anderson tried to approach Sterling to comfort her and explain or even apologise for all the lies, but Sterling was in complete and total shutdown mode. The only person Sterling would let near her was Bowser, and of course Blair, but even then she didn't talk or respond to any of their interactions, other than with a simple nod or shake of her head. Sterling was so in shock that she didnt even have it in her to cry. Of course she wanted to, or needed to, but the tears just refused to fall. Her brain and emotions were in shock simultaneously and all she could feel was numb. Too much information had been thrust at her in such a short space of time that she was still trying to process all of it and make it make sense.

Sterling stared out of the window from the backseat of Bowsers car, and watched as streetlights and other cars passed them by. The whole journey was audibly silent, but Sterling was stuck in her head and couldn't help but think about the arms she wanted to be holding her and comforting her right now, the arms that were previously prepared to hold her hand at the lock-in, yet the same ones that had pushed her away just a few hours ago. The thought of April was comforting for a moment until she remembered those arms no longer wanted to be within a meter of her when they were sat on that bench, let alone hold her. The only other words spoken came from Bowser reminding both girls to put on their seatbelts and then saying goodbye and that he was thankful that they were both okay, physically at least, when he dropped them off at home. Blair thanked him on behalf of them both and Sterling just gave him a hollow and absent smile. She didn't mean to come across as ungrateful or standoffish, as he probably already knew, but she just didn't have it in her to do anything other than retreat straight to her bedroom and lock out the rest of the world that had hurt her so badly.

While in the solitude of her childhood bedroom, Sterling questioned what she had done for God to punish her like this. She had always been a good christian daughter, helping the less fortunate and being kind to everyone whether she thought they deserved it or not. She looked around her room at all of the pictures and memoirs she had hanging up. Was any of it real? She couldnt help but feel betrayed, how could she not? She had been lied to for her entire life, led to belive that her and Blair shared a womb, when in fact they didn't even share a mother. She eventually collapsed against her locked door in exhaustion. Faint footsteps could be heard walking around the house and even some lingering outside her bedroom, but neither Anderson or Debbie tried to come in. Blair tried both the main and the shared bathroom doors, hoping Sterling would at least let her in so they could share their grief and hash it out together, like they always had with everything, but even she had no such luck.

Sterling didn't even get the chance to tell Blair about her and April's breakup, and how the smaller girl suddenly did a total 180 and decided she had to focus on her family rather than her own happiness. How naive Sterling was to assume that would be her only heartbreak of the night. Ironically, April was no longer the only one of the pair with a fucked up family, not that Sterling could even tell her that now. What they once had was seemingly over, and with John Stevens' unexpected return, it would have to stay that way for the forseeable. Not only would he be after her and Blair for beating the crap out him at his own lakehouse, but if he found out about Sterling and April's relationship, no matter how brief it was, there would surely be even more hell to pay.