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Santa Baby

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Bellamy couldn’t believe he had somehow gotten roped into this.

He had signed up to work as a salesman in Macy’s, not as fucking Santa Claus. He had only worked in the athletic department there for three hours before the Santa they had got very drunk and swore at some kid. The mother was insistent on getting a picture, though. She had waited in that “fucking, godforsaken line for two goddamn hours and I will get a photo of my bratty kids with Santa Claus if I have to sue your company to do it”.

And so, they pulled Bellamy out of the athletic department and forced him into the suit, promising him time and a half if he’ll just play Santa Claus for the next week. His last day was Christmas Eve.

So Bellamy put on the itchy beard and the suit and listened to what a bunch of brats wanted for Christmas. He smiled for pictures used his Santa voice and tried to ward off the affections of Harper, one of the elves.

Monty, another one of the elves, came over to take the two little boys off his lap. Jasper gave them candy canes as they exited. “The photos will be ready in an hour,” he told their parents.

Bellamy sighed and itched at his face. “Can we take a quick break before the next ones?” He asked.

Monty grimaced slightly. “Sorry, buddy. There’s only one more until your lunch break, though.” He exchanged a look with Jasper. “And…and I don’t think you’ll be complaining about this one.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harper asked, fiddling with the camera. Jasper put an arm around her and whispered something in her ears as Monty led the last two people in.

It was a little girl, probably about 6, and a young blonde woman. Bellamy raised his eyebrows at the young woman.

She was undoubtedly hot. Blonde hair, nice boobs, and curves in all the right places. He finally understood why Monty said he would like this group, though he wondered how Monty knew. Monty was pretty damn gay.

He wondered if it would be bad to flirt with her in the Santa suit. The elf suit had worked wonders for Monty and a boy named Miller, who had come in with his younger cousins on Bellamy’s first day, but Monty was wearing tights and Bellamy was wearing a fake beard.

“Reese,” the girl said irritably, and god even her voice is hot, “Your mom and dad told me to get your picture with Santa, and we will get it. We waited in that line for almost three hours! Remember that?”

The little girl, Reese, took a tentative look at Bellamy. “I don’t know, Clarke. He’s kind of scary looking. Why is his beard white? My daddy’s is orange. And he doesn’t even look that old.”

“Well, everyone’s beards can be different colors. And he’s so nice, see? He gives all the kids toys. You just need to sit on his lap, tell him what you want, and get a picture taken with him, and then we can go wherever you want for lunch, okay?”

“Can I have a cupcake?” She asked slyly.

“You know what,” Monty told the girl brightly, “We give candy canes to everyone who sits on Santa’s lap.”

“See, Reese,” Clarke said, “Candy canes! I wish I could have one, but only people who sit on Santa’s lap get them.”

“Why don’t you sit on his lap and get a candy cane first?” Reese asked challengingly. Clarke raised an eyebrow, and Reese raised both. Clarke sighed and looked apologetically at the elves and Bellamy.

“Do you all mind? I’m so sorry, but I really need this job.”

Monty smiled slyly, glancing at Bellamy. “Of course. We totally understand, Clarke, was it?”

She smiled and nodded to Monty, walking over to Bellamy. She tried to sit on the arm of his chair.

“No, Clarke,” Reese called. “In his lap. If I hafta sit in his lap, you do too!”

“It’s okay,” Bellamy whispered, hoping he could keep it together. Clarke shifted into his lap and grinned as Harper snapped a picture. Bellamy just hoped his face didn’t look pained from his semi.

He could barely breathe. There was a hot blonde girl in his lap and she smelled really good. Like, what even was that? Vanilla? He didn’t know. He felt sad as Clarke attempted to get out of his lap and his arm unconsciously tightened around her waist.

“WAIT!” Reese called. “Clarke, you have to tell Santa what you want for Christmas.”

Clarke sat back on Bellamy’s lap leaned all the way back, closing her eyes. Her head rested on his shoulder. Bellamy laughed slightly.

“What do you want for Christmas?” He asked in a whisper. She groaned and God did he want to hear her do it again.

(Maybe in another situation where she’s in his lap, except without so many clothes, a fake beard, or an audience) He saw Monty grin at him and Jasper give him a wink. He thought he saw Harper roll her eyes.

“I want for Reese to stop being such a brat all the time and to get really drunk and possibly laid.” She squeezed his thigh and her finger trailed at bit higher before her hands settled in her lap.

Bellamy held back a moan and ran his hand up her side. “Well, Clarke, I might be able to help with that. Have you been good this year?”

She opened her eyes, smiled slyly, and looked at him. “Actually, Santa,” she bit her bottom lip. “I’ve been very naughty.”

She then hopped off his lap as if nothing had happened and he was speechless. Reese was lifted into his lap by a silently laughing Monty, they took the picture, and she told him she wanted an iPhone for Christmas.

He was still sitting in the big chair as they left. Harper told them their picture would be ready in an hour. Octavia came in with his lunch.

“Hey, Bell, I have your lunch. I got you Subway, but they were out of…” she trailed off, staring at his face. “What’s up with you? Why the face, big brother?”

“A hot girl sat on his lap,” Jasper supplied when Bellamy didn’t say anything. “Like, really hot. Crazy hot.”

“Hey, now,” Bellamy snapped. “Watch it, Jordan.”

Octavia quirked an eyebrow at Bellamy. “So she’s hot, hmm, Bell? Is there a picture?”

Monty picked something up from the printer tray and walked over to Octavia. “This is her.”

Octavia grabbed the photo before Bellamy could stop here. “Ooh, Bell, she’s hot. What’s her name?”

“Clarke,” Jasper called. “She’s the nanny to a bratty little girl.”

“Yeah, but Bellamy owes the girl one because she made Clarke sit on his lap.”

They laughed and ribbed at Bellamy all through their lunch hour.

(He didn’t really mind, he knew Octavia had been worried about him since she was spending more time with Lincoln)


Later that day, Clarke came back to get her pictures. She leaves with the pictures and an extra candy cane, and he leaves with a number neatly written on his hand and a red lipstick stain on his cheek.


Three days later, they laid in his bed together as Christmas music played out of the radio.

“Thank god Reese’s parents got Christmas eve off,” Clarke mumbled, lightly tracing invisible patterns onto Bellamy’s skin.

He chuckled into her neck and brushed her hair to the side. He placed a kiss to her neck. “Thank god,” he agreed. Also on Christmas Eve, a new, better Santa had begun to work at Macy’s. O was with Lincoln and his family, so they spent all day together.

Bellamy thought he might have been in love.

(And, as it turned out, he did get to hear her moan again, with less clothes, no fake beard, and no audience. Plus, she had a thing for sitting on his lap.)

“I love this song,” Clarke said as a familiar melody came on. She started softly singing along. “Santa Baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me…”

“Well,” Bellamy said with a grin, “Two of your three wishes have been granted, and Monty is coming over with some of his moonshine and his new boyfriend in an hour.”

“How strong is the moonshine?”

“It’s basically paint thinner.”

“Best Christmas ever.”