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There was an ocean in his eyes. 

One may liken it to a dark sea - having seen many horrors, faced with hardship throughout the entirety of his childhood, mind askew. Many people would note that 'that Trancy boy' always had a few screws loose. It was in fact the opposite - Alois was impulsive, brash, loud, but he played with the screws expertly. He knew when to act dumb, when to act mature, when to display whatever he needed  in order to get whatever he so desired. 

On the other hand, one may liken his eyes to a pure sea - clear, bright, warm, although even he wasn't sure how much of it was real. When you base your emotions off of the whims of another person, you lose yourself. Alois had lost himself as he took the title of Trancy, as the man who once had it perverted him, lost himself in more wealth than he would ever spend. Losing in order to gain had always seemed to be the way his world worked.

Ciel would be swallowed in his every gaze. He'd devour them, consuming them entirely in waves, blanketing them, comforting them, drowning them.

It was no secret that he'd fallen for Ciel right when the two had met. Blue eyes fixated on the other Earl, he'd burn every detail of them into his mind. He repeated their name when he was alone, the taste that would never leave his mouth. He didn't want to be alone. He hated it.

He knew that Ciel was out there, doing something without him. It irritated him right to the core, the fact that Ciel wasn't with him. He would think of the only other friend he'd ever had - the one that Claude said died because of Sebastian. Claude said that, and reminded Alois - Who else could burn an entire city but a demon? 

Many nights, years ago, he'd fall asleep crying. He was alone, entirely alone without Luca. His butler didn't care. His housekeepers wouldn't understand him. Would Luca even recognize the mess Alois had gotten himself into? What other demon could've had the heart to save you but me? Claude would reassure. He'd talk about the mysterious demon, and years later, Alois finally came face to face with him. Alois would flinch when Sebastian's hands would move. He'd scrunch up his face when he's talk. His eyes would burn a fire right through Sebastian when he would touch Ciel. Patting them on the head - My master, their name is... Holding their hand - Ciel doesn't like the snow... Picking them up - They're actually quite blind...

What right does a demon have to talk about Ciel like that? 

My Ciel. My Ciel doesn't know. My Ciel would've never allowed such an atrocity, surely.

After the first day they'd met, it was always My Ciel.

Alois would make excuses. "I'm sick, I need to see my Ciel." "My Ciel wrote me earlier, can you take me there?" "My Ciel would love this stew... please send them over immediately."

The two wouldn't meet again for months. Months of wishing, wanting, waiting. Alois was not a patient boy. He was also not aware that Ciel did not think of him in the manner that Alois thought of them.

"My Ciel! Dear, how I've missed you!" Running up to them, Alois wrapped his arms around Ciel's neck.

Ciel gave a nervous laugh. "Yes, Sir Trancy, it's certainly a delight to see you again." They did not hug the boy back.

Alois couldn't help but to stare into Ciel's eye, smiling like an idiot. 

"Shall we grab tea? We have business to discuss." Ciel broke the awkward silence.

"Ah, yes, business..."


The two sat alone, only accompanied by hot tea. 

"I don't think Sebastian is very good, my Ciel."

Ciel rolled their eye a bit. "He is a demon..."

"He only wants your soul. He doesn't care for you."

"That's how demons work, Sir. You... have one too, so you should know how they work."

"I do! I don't give a damn about mine- Yours, though... Ciel, as a human, I could take so much better care of you."

"Wait, what?" 

"I want to...  be here for you, my Ciel. I want to love you in the way that only a human can."

"Love... Me...? Alois, I-"

"Ci- You don't need anyone else but me." Alois smiled, so genuine, so bright.

His smile was shattered when the other Earl told him no.

"What do you mean 'no'? I love you, let me show you!"

"I don't want it. I don't need love." Ciel did not have much room for warmth in there vengeful heart. They weren't as helpless as one would like to imagine; they saw depending on others as a weakness. They did not depend on Sebastian. Sebastian was a means to their end, nothing more. 

No one had ever dared to tell Alois 'no' before. It lighted something new within him, evaporating every ocean that lied within him, replacing the water with blaze. He had a challenge, a goal - one thing to truly strive for, Ciel's love.

"I love you." He repeated. "Did you not hear me? Say it back."

"No." Ciel crossed their arms, taking a moody sip of tea.

"Why not?"

"I don't love you, and I am not a liar."

"Ciel..." Alois started to laugh. He couldn't help himself. Why would Ciel claim to be truthful while lying straight through their rotten teeth? "My Ciel, how I adore you. I love you." He admired Ciel only from a few feet away, but the distanced seemed to span oceans again. "Can I kiss you?"

"W-What? Absolutely not!"

"Hey, Ciel... If love is something that does not matter to you... then it's okay if I kiss you. If it won't matter to you..." It'll matter to me. I'll savor both of your lips... Alois's mind clouded, unable to further think. My Ciel, My Ciel, My Ciel. Let me love you in the way only I can.

Ciel went silent for a moment, a silence that Alois despised. While love was something that had withered away for Ciel, it was something that slept in Alois. He truly did have a lot to give, but found trouble in expressing himself. Ciel put up too many walls, further hindering Alois.

"I suppose." They finally spoke.

"Really?" Alois asked, springing up out of his seat. He did not wait for an answer, he crashed into Ciel's lips like a wave meeting the shore. One thing stood out - if there was anything Alois felt, it felt like nothing and everything. It felt like wrongness and perfection. It felt like sin and absolution. Ciel was a lamb, Alois was the slaughter 

He wrapped his arms around their neck again, biting at their lips. Alois felt peace, anxiety, bliss, impatience. Even so, his heart soared. There would not be a single thing that could pull him down - gravity was a cheap joke compared to heaven.

Ciel pushed the boy off a bit, just to break their kiss.

"Ciel..." Alois licked his lips. "That didn't matter, right?"

Ciel nodded, feeling somehow guilty.

"Did you feel..."

"No." They quickly snapped. Though feelings started to well up within them, feeling their feelings was not something that they had ever wanted to do. They get in the way, they'd remind themself.

"Ciel... My Ciel... If you felt nothing, why are you smiling?"