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How He's Always Loved Her (New Girl)

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Nick Miller did not have much luck in the world of love and relationships. That much was obvious. When he thought of his love life, he thought of the failed relationship with Caroline, who he assumed had cheated at one point in their relationship, coming home smelling of cologne and beer, which was half of his scent really. After Caroline broke him, he decided that for a while he was just done. Done trying to be in a relationship other than the occasional one night stand and fling because he didn't want to go back to being broken again.

That is until Jessica Day shoved her way into his life, sat him down and made him rethink every breath he has taken since the day he was born.
Of course, to most people, regular people, they wouldn't see Jess Day as much more than a pretty girl who loved to teach and be herself. Nick saw much more than that though. When she first moved in, it unnerved him greatly. How could he have such a gorgeous woman be sleeping across the hall and not be distracted all the time? He would never be able to get anything done ever again because everything about her was distracting.

So not long after she moved in, he forced both Coach and Schmidt to sign a contract, that they would never ever kiss or even touch Jess in any sort of way. It was more for him than anything, because he knew at one point he wouldn't be able to help himself. When his longtime buddy Winston moved back into the loft, after two years abroad, he forced him to sign it too. Part of Nick knew that he would break the contract within a couple of years. He hoped Jess would be gone by then, he didn't want to fall in love and break all over again.

Worst part was, that he was already waist deep in love with her.

Her long dark, somewhat curled hair that fell just below her shoulders, whenever she wore glasses, it made her look innocent, cute, but when she wore those contacts, he could see her big sapphire blue eyes, that where beacons in endless pools of darkness. She always smelled like a combination of honey, strawberries and vanilla, which quickly became intoxicating, like he had taken a few too many. And she always wore either dresses or tights, she always looked good, beautiful, drop-dead amazing.

Nick had to find ways to suppress that feeling in his chest. He dived into his work, found a few girls to distract him for a couple of weeks, he even liked some of them, bringing them to the loft and when they left, he felt worse than he did before. Like he was betraying someone. Other nights he would stay up late, writing, sometimes just little snippets and prompts to busy himself, it was nice, writing was one of the few ways he could distract himself from the girl across the hall, sleeping soundly.

But when she brought home guys, it made Nick's small, closed off heart sink lower and lower into the abyss. He wanted to be the one she kissed, the one to hold her tight and never ever let her go because she was too damn special to let go at all. When the first guy she started dating since Spencer left, because of him really, he felt both good and bad at the same time. Paul was sweet, but he didn't deserve someone as special as Jess. Besides, he was moving way too fast, saying how much he loved Jess after a month of being together. Jess didn't deserve to be pushed like that. Maybe he liked it when Paul left. It only made him feel worse.

To drown himself, to keep himself away from falling too deep into Jess, he started back up with Caroline. Toxic, pushy, commanding Caroline who still loved him for some reason. He of course didn't love her back but he wanted to be in a relationship, wanted to go home to someone at night, to be held, to be kissed. Jess didn't have the same feelings for him, he didn't have to ask. Because Nick didn't have love luck and there was no way in hell that Jess Day, sweet special Jess would ever love someone as broken, terrible and stupid as Nick Miller who was going no where but the coffin in life.

And when he almost moved in with her, well he did move in and then moved out soon after, he couldn't take it. Being so far from Jess, being so far from his two best buddies who loved him like a brother. And he couldn't take Caroline who was already trying to fix him, make him someone he wasn't. So in the middle of the night, he packed up his things, loaded them into the truck and left, taking some money out of her wallet with him.

Nick Miller was a bit of a coward.

When Jess started a fling with the successful Sam Sweeney, a doctor, Nick felt more alone than ever. There was no way that after Sam, Jess would ever see Nick as anything more than a law-school dropout and grade A failure. Sure he loved his bar tending job because he felt at his best there, but he knew that he could be doing more with his life than serving drinks to strippers and more failures.

"He's a nice guy Jess." He had said to her one day.

She smiled that radiant smile. "I know. Maybe i want more than just a fling too." She said with that grin plastered on her face.

Nick faltered for a split second, but quickly regained himself. "Yeah? Well make sure he wants that too."

He gave her advice? Oh how stupid he was.

But Jess and Sam ended up not working out the first time. They had ended the fling and Nick felt proud of himself and terrible at the same time because Jess was sitting on the couch listening to Taylor Swift, drinking pink wine and eating a pint of ice-cream like she hadn't in years.

Then a couple of weeks later, much to his dismay, Sam and Jess picked things up again and Nick just stopped caring for a while. He stopped showering, stopped washing his clothes-which he didn't really do a lot in the first place but still. Schmidt picked up on this because well, he was the Mom.

"Going through a funk again?"

"Yeah." Was all Nick could say as he kicked his feet up on the couch.

"Wanna go out?"

"Sure."

That night Nick met the stripper girl, very nice, Angie who distracted him again, for a while. which was nice because he honestly needed the distraction. But when she left in the middle of the night, he was starting to come to terms with just how bad his luck was. If a stripper didn't want him, then who did? Nick was probably destined to end up alone forever.

Why couldn't he just have someone at night to hold? To kiss? To love?

He shouldn't have been playing True American that night, especially in that stupid woman's trench coat, even if he felt confident, he still felt vunerable. It didn't help matters that Jess was wearing that stupid frilly skirt and bra that fit her too well. It didn't help that they where shut behind the Iron Curtain, forced to kiss and he just couldn't. He couldn't kiss her like this because then it wouldn't feel real. it wouldn't really have been a kiss and he wanted their first kiss to be something to remember. Something that would make him have a smile at night and dream during the day.

Maybe he was a little tipsy, and she was too because Jess Day would never want to get it over with and french Nick Miller sober. He knew that much.

"No, not like this!" He had said and for a moment he didn't even know he had said it aloud and when he saw the surprised, confused look plastered on her perfect face, he knew he made a mistake, a turning point where she would always ask, 'Then what?'.

Nick Miller was a screw-up and he knew that much,

The rest of the night, which ended quickly all seemed to rush to his head rather quickly. Sam had found himself with Jess on his arm, Winston with some Daisy chick and his good buddy Schmidt was with the perky blonde in his room.

Jess, who wore that frilly pink robe that made his heart to a little tap dance in his chest had forced him to give the confident trench coat back, making him feel worse than ever.

"I'll miss Trench Coat Nick." He said glumly as they walked slowly to their rooms.

When Jess had turned back towards her room, back towards her boyfriend who was waiting for her, he had grabbed her by the crook of her elbow and into a kiss.

Oh what an idiot he was.

But she was kissing back, her arms wrapped around his neck, lips pressed firmly on his, and his heart nearly exploded. It was fiery, hot and full of releasing all the built up tension from the past year and a half. He had been dreaming of this moment since she walked in.

He had pulled away, her lips swollen from that kiss and her eyes full of confusion, "I mean something like that." He had said, walked back to his room, shut the door and knew he could never walk out again without having to see her. She had a boyfriend.

But she had kissed him back.

Nick Miller did not have much luck with love, but maybe he had a chance with Jess Day.