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it's you (it's all for you)

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“Don’t be so desperate. It takes away from your charm.”

It was a hurtful statement. Zhongli hated the way his heart reacted to it by squeezing tightly, blood rushing to his cheeks to color the pale skin in the shade of rosy pink.

He did not know if it was from his overwhelming embarrassment or their activity earlier. 

Ajax was standing near the balcony of the hotel room, his fluffy orange hair messy and sticking to all directions most probably from Zhongli’s slender fingers previously tangled in those silky strands.

He was lighting up a cigarette with a chuckle slipping from his lips at his own words, looking ahead into the view of the city they were in. 

He had a faraway look in his eyes, as if he was gazing into something entirely different than what was presented in front of him. it was not a new thing.

It was a permanent look on his face whenever they were together.

Even when Zhongli was flushed and moaning out his name so prettily that it would put all the prostitutes Ajax used to hire to shame.

He knew it was a mistake to bring up marriage when Ajax was having such a good mood after a while, pampering him until he was a delirious mess.

He would have waited longer if he was not pressured by the way Ajax seemed to be losing interest in him again. 

It was careless. Idiotic. Thoughtless. Ajax being distant for a few weeks only to come back to ruin him again and again was a common occurrence.

It was not something new to the both of them yet it would never stop turning Zhongli into a puppy wagging his tail to his owner whenever Ajax would come back after going missing for weeks.

“it’s been eight years…” Zhongli whispered out, his shaky hands fixing the bathrobe Ajax had carelessly tore from his fragile body earlier.

It had been eight years. Eight years of Zhongli being a lapdog for Ajax whenever he needed service.

Whether it was simply comforting him by holding him close and nurturing him like a mother would or tending to Ajax’s insatiable lust in bed, Zhongli had never said no to the slightly younger man.

Not even at the risk of his own well-being. 

It had been eight years of Zhongli constantly pining and sacrificing his own principles for a man that would barely pay him any attention without having him strip naked or become some sort of trophy to show off in social events.

Zhongli had been a captivating beauty and Ajax made sure to utilize it until it became nothing but one of his many tools that he would polish once in a while. Until he had turn twenty-seven, too old to be considered a desirable mate by any reputable alpha in Ajax’s shallow circle of business acquaintances. Ajax found no use in a rusted toy that no one would envy him for owning.

He did not get invited as often to accompany Ajax to official events since then.

“You promised we would get married once your father entrusted you with the company, Ajax…” He felt tears welling up in his eyes as he stared at the back of the man he loved more than he did himself.

The man who once proudly announced his love for Zhongli and his oath to stay by his side until they turn grey and old.

They had met in a local festival where his family would attend as a tradition. Ajax had been there with a camera, flushed yet grinning at the sight of a slender beauty wandering around the stalls.

That night he had gotten more than he bargained for when the beautiful local politely and bashfully agreed on allowing Ajax to take a couple of pictures of him.

He was not aware of how Ajax immediately delayed his departure from the small town just to court him every day with flattery and abundance of gifts.

Zhongli could vividly remember the day Ajax met his parents for the umpteenth time after they had blatantly rejected his attempt on courting admirable omega.

Raised and born in a traditional family where he was expected to find a traditionalist of a respectable reputation as his mate, Zhongli did not once fool himself into thinking a modern man from a rich family of a foreign land would be easily accepted by his strict parents. 

The alpha did not give up regardless of the constant rejection he had received from the old couple.

It was not long until his parents started to crack under his perseverance of gaining their approval and enthusiasm for learning their culture, including a bunch of enticing jewellery carved exclusively for his mother, adorned with gems from various places.

Zhongli could remember the night he completely stripped away his moral codes and belief only to be writhing and gasping out Ajax’s name over and over again as if it was the prayer he would perform every morning of his life. Except there was no merciful god to grant him wishes this time. 

There was only the man who had debauched him looking down with such a mocking expression, as if he was reminding him of the years of expectation and pride from his parents towards their righteous son had gone down the drain in just a matter of a few hours with Ajax alone.

Zhongli also remembered the man promising to marry him a few months after the omega lost both of his parents, warmth embracing him tightly as he whispered out affirmations that they would live together for as long as they could. That he wouldn’t leave Zhongli under any circumstances.

It helped restore the light in his enthralling amber eyes that were previously dull and swollen from weeks of crying.

It only took three years for him to lose the Ajax he once knew.

“three years of hoping. Praying. Five years of waiting and yearning aimlessly while you drown in the victory of your father’s trust.”

Desperate. Of course he was desperate. As shameful as it was to admit, Zhongli was pushing thirty. He had dreamed of having children running around in the house by the time he was over twenty, marked and claimed by the man he loved the most out of everything and everyone else. He had waited for so long.

He was trembling in the bed by then, a loud ugly sob threatening to escape his body while he hugged his knees closer to his chest.

He wanted to go.

He wanted to leave and run away to someone who would not leave him and allow the ugly voices to constantly break him down.

He had to leave.

Ajax was trying to consume him whole and it was only a matter of time until he was completely ravished.

Zhongli could feel himself flinching when he felt the mattress dipping from the weight of someone kneeling on it, strong arms wrapped around his shaking figure, soothing familiar scent enveloping his senses. He should have known how easy it was for Ajax to regain his control on him. Almost effortlessly.

Zhongli knew in just a few seconds, he would be kneeling and begging for forgiveness because he was taught to please and deeply understand his alpha even at the expense of losing his own sanity in the process. 

“Just be a bit more patient, sweetheart. Can’t you do that for me? Such a simple task from your alpha.” It was not fair. It was not fair how Zhongli immediately broke into tears and clutched desperately onto the man, his head giving out a few nods as if he was possessed by something else entirely once he heard Ajax’s gentle tone and careful touch.

“But it’s been so long and i-“ His words were cut off when he felt Ajax’s thumb and index caught his chin in a tight grip, his gaze causing Zhongli to waver before quickly flickering his eyes onto his hands instead, unable to continue disobeying. Zhongli was indeed a well-trained dog for the alpha.

“Princess… You know how busy I am, don’t you? Are you trying to excuse your disobedience?” his sighed, almost as if he was chastising a child instead of his boyfriend. Almost as if Zhongli was just a dumb little pet unable to understand basic commands from his owner.

Zhongli replied with a shake of his head.

Apparently, that was not enough to soothe his alpha as the man let out a frustrated sigh while placing him away from his lap, easily tossing the omega aside as if he was made of feathers.

“Do you want this to end, Li? Do you not love me anymore?” The questions shattered the older, the omega in him yelled at him for being incredibly selfish and inconsiderate to his own alpha. What a bad omega. You made alpha doubt our love for him…

“Hmm… I guess you really don’t.”

He was really a bad omega. The worst. Ajax was going to leave him. He was going to leave and never come back and Zhongli will be left alone again-

“A-alpha…” He was full on sobbing by then, desperately clawing onto Ajax when the man attempted to pull away as if he was going to turn his back and abandon Zhongli, used and unwanted by anyone except for his alpha.

“Ajax… P-please…” A loud cry ripped out of his throat, his typically soft voice was now defeaning and hysteric in his miserable attempt to make Ajax stay. The man barely paid him any attention as he slid on his pants, buckling his belt again without even glancing at the trembling omega crying out for him.

The last time he had messed up, the alpha left him for three months. It was the most painful heat cycle he had ever experienced, Without Ajax himself or even a piece of clothing to remind him of his love.

It was humiliating to witness when he started crawling down the bed and onto where Ajax was standing, desperately hugging his leg while looking up through his glassy amber eyes. A dog begging for his owner.

“P-please don’t leave me, alpha. I’ll be g-good this time.” He sobbed out again, tears and snot staining his flushed face with his long strands of hair messing it up even further. “I love you. I love you. I loveyou.” He was starting to blabber, his head feeling floaty and stuffy from so much feeling hammered inside of his fragile body.

Ajax simpered  as if he had expected the exact outcome to play itself out. 

He barely stroked Zhongli’s hair back while looking down at the pitiful creature he once considered his future mate, humming out a gentle tune to calm the hysterical little pup.

“Don’t worry, baby. You’re not going anywhere, hm? Your place is right here.”

After all, Zhongli was his property for as long as he was alive.