A year ago, Lee Suho decided to go see a therapist. He finally admitted he needed help and he was willing to do everything to get better and be happy.
ASPD and PTSD were scary acronyms, even for someone as strong as Suho. Reading them was not really comforting but unfortunetely, that was written on his diagnostic paper and there was nothing he could do but try to accept it and be strong.
Right now he was at a party in a bar with his college seniors. These stuff were definetely not his cup of tea but he just started university and wanted to experience new things.
The space was little but it was still crowded and the music was super loud, it hurted his ears. He was so used to silence and peaceful locations, like a library or a study session room.
It was all so new and overwhelming but he still tried his best to enjoy the night with his new classmates and not overthinking, even if he was actually suffering a headache and wanted to go gome.
He sat down outside and relaxed a little bit, he was so tense and he didn't understand how parties could have so much of a possitive effect on people. He enjoyed the fresh air for a few minutes until a senior spotted him in the garden.
"Dude, what are you doing? You're missing out. Come inside"
Maybe he was right so he returned to the bar but with low expectations and somehow this time was so much worse. Of course he had been in other parties in high school but only with Jugyeong, Seojun and a few more friends and the most important thing...they didn't preassure him.
So after a few rounds of alcohol and gossip between the seniors, a girl flirted with him and he told her to "get lost and out of his sight".
Apparently he made a big mistake cause' she was the most popular girl on campus and they started being a little harsh on him for that.
But he didn't understand what was wrong, he was being honest with the girl and honesty was the best policy right? They continued treating him like he was a heartless monster and decided to be honest with them "I don't wanna be at this shitty party".
"Go away then, your presence was a burden anyway. You psycho freak!"
And then out of nowhere, a flashback of Seojun came to his mind "I hope you know what Se Yeon went through at the other half, you psycho murderer freak" he was starting to feel anxious and then the sound of the ambulence sirens were ringing in his head. He was shaking and crying, unable to move and completely helpless.
His head spinned around, he wanted to throw up and he was unable to breath.
"Oh my god, are you alright?! Let's get you to the restroom" said the girl that flirted with him a few minutes ago.
She grabbed his hand and took him to the restroom but when she closed the door, he inmediately dropped her hand and she fell on the ground.
"Didn't I told you to get lost?" He said breathing harshly and shaking.
"I'm sorry Suho".
After a few minutes, he managed to recompose himself and go back to normal. He washed away his tears on the bathroom sink and his breathing was coming back to normal.
"Why did you apologize?" He asked the girl, genuinely confused since she didn't do anything wrong. In fact, she helped him.
"Oh, because I grabbed your hand without your consent but I didn't know what else to do to get you here. You were having a panic attack and I know physical contact can be uncomfortable so I'm really sorry".
He actually smiled for real in the entire night.
"Thanks, you did well. I'm feeling better know".
The girl offered him a ride but he said he was okay now and he took a taxi instead. When he came home, he knocked on his apartment door to encounter his two precious lovers holding a little piece of cake and shouting "Surprise!!"
Jugyeong hugged him and Seojun kissed him on the cheek. They looked at him expectantly and he was really confused.
"Oooh, you don't know what's going on"
Suho nodded with his head, still in confusion.
"We wanted to know how your first college party was" Jugyeong said with a smile on her face that vanished after he put on a nervous expression and said "Not so good".
"What do you mean Suho?" Seojun asked worried while raising up his eyebrow.
"I think I had a panic attack at the party".
"What?!" His both lovers exclaimed at the same time and Suho had to inmidiately explain what happened.
They were a little bit shocked for a second but then they understood. Suho was a little different compared to most people after all and they knew he was not the most beloved person on the planet.
"Wait, honey...what did you say to the girl when you rejected her?" Seojun asked gently touching his hair while Jugyeong was making him a cup of hot chocolate.
"I said she should get lost and out of my sight" Seojun let out a nervous giggle and Jugyeong almost dropped the cup of chocolate.
Jugyeong sat on the bed in front of him and began to explain him along with Seojun why what he did was wrong. But he still couldn't seem to understand, wasn't it better that way to not give her fake ilusions? Humans and feelings were so complicated.
"But isn't being straight forward the best form of solving problems?" He was getting a little bit frustrated cause' he was genuinely confused and he wanted to understand and be a better person but it was hard.
They spend the night giving him tips and social advices so he wouldn't have to go throught that again. They were worried about him and even if he was in college, he was still their little baby.
They told him about a few things he did to Jugyeong and Seojun in high school that weren't okay and he felt they were completely normal until now. He was beggining to understand, it was a slow progress but he really cared and it showed.
But that was only one problem solved...
"Suho, why did you have a panic attack?" Seojun asked and Jugyeong hit his elbow for asking that question.
"It's just, they called me a psycho freak and I couldn't help but wonder if you were right about me that time...
Suho couldn't finish his sentence because Seojun was already hugging him tight, he figured out fast what he meant and oh god, he regretted that time so much. If he could only turn back time and slapped himself he would.
Seojun started to cry while still hugging him and Suho was really confused.
"Why are you crying?"
"It's just...I can't imagine my life without you or Jugyeong. So please forget about that and forgive me for everything you went through, you are my favorite human being in the whole world and nothing is going to change that".
And after that, a tear went through Jugyeong's face causing confusion on both of them.
"Now why are you crying Jugyeong?" Seojun said while still crying his eyes out.
"It's just, you guys have gone through so much and you deserve the best in the world. I want you to know that the tragedy we all know about was not any of your fault alright?"
They decided to do an activity that calmed the three of them down and turn the tears into laughter.
So they hugged and enjoyed hot chocolate while watching disney movies on bed. They loved each other so much and that was all that matters.
To many people, Suho may seem like a cold hearted stone, but to them it was so much more than that.
The night ended with a kissing session between the three of them and Jugyeong finding the tickle points of the boys to make them giggle. Then they fell asleep after a while and they were all wrapped up in a big spoon.
"I love you guys" Suho said while he was asleep but his lovers managed to listen and they replied "We love you too, Suho".