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Paint Your Dreams

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Accept the things to which fate binds you and love the people with whom fate brings you together but do so with all your heart.

Marcus Aurelius

 

"Do you believe in fate, Wheein-ah?", the brunette whispers in a husked voice, severing the peaceful silence enveloping the dark bedroom as her fingers trace delicate, intricate patterns along the blondes’ arm resting upon her slim waist. Her fingers caress the soft skin of the troubled artist slowly, her eyes following along with the movement, utterly mesmerised. Brown eyes lift to brown in the soft glow of the candle burning on the windowsill, the sweet scent of vanilla filling the room.

"In what way?" is whispered back into the night. The blondes tired eyes are heavy, yet she’s complacent in enjoying the soft touches of the older woman on her naked skin, the silk of the brunettes’ bed sheets the only thing protecting her from feeling the cool air of the bedroom. The brunette smiles softly at her lover, her wandering fingers now trailing across the younger woman’s’ sharp collarbone, gently pushing at the silk to expose more of the blondes skin.

"Hm, that feels good" the blonde breathes, her eyes closing gently at the caress,

"Do you believe that you have control over your life?" the brunette clarifies quietly.

Wheeins' eyes open sleepily, locking with the older woman’s, she swallows briefly, her throat having went dry at the intense look sparkling in the older woman’s eyes, her fingers now trailing delicately over her jaw,

"I guess, I've never really thought about it much before?" she responds honestly, shuffling closer to the woman laying opposite her. She wraps her legs in between the older woman’s, enjoying the feeling of her warm skin on her own. Placing her hand under her head, she licks her lips before adding,

"Have you?"

Brown eyes flit to the blondes’ lips briefly before returning,

"Hm, sometimes" is offered softly.

The brunette’s bedroom is quiet. Distant 3 am traffic and the sound of their slow, relaxed breathing the only noises to be heard. The sweat from their lovemaking has long since dried on their marked skin and expensive silk sheets. Eyes are heavy, bones are tired. Souls are content.

"Do you believe, unnie?" the blonde asks, searing the soft contented image of the brunette into her memory. The blonde lifts her own fingers to smooth over a plump cheek.

There is a hesitation in the brunettes’ response, this question has plagued her long before she met the blonde. Wheein notices and leans forward ever so slightly, resting her forehead gently against the brunettes. She feels the older woman exhale, her eyes now closed. The blonde slowly wets her lips before capturing the brunettes plump bottom one between her own, kissing her softly. She feels a quiet groan from the older woman reverberate against her lips and pulls back to catch a glimpse of the lawyers’ face, savouring the taste of the brunette’s mouth. Yongsun is smiling, a soft, uninhibited smile. A smile that makes her fall in love with her.

A soft sigh,

" I do now"

 


 

SLAM!

Wheein is startled suddenly, subsequently being abruptly dragged back to her cruel reality by the sound of her apartment door violently crashing against its hinges, signalling someone has entered her apartment and has probably marked her wall where the door hit.

"Wheein!" is screamed from down the hallway, the voice seemingly desperate. Wheein turns towards the voice yet, she struggles to produce any sound. She remains rooted in the same spot in her bedroom that she's been in since Byul asked her to come and get Yongsuns phone from the bedside table. She feels frozen. Stuck in time. She wishes she could close her eyes to go back to drifting through her memories. Anything for a silent reprieve from what she’s feeling right now.

Lost. Confused. Worried. Angry.

Fuck, Yong. Where are you?

"Wheein! Are you here?!" is screamed again, this time emanating from the direction of the kitchen. Wiping the silent tears that she didn't notice escaping down her cheeks, the blonde exhales softly to gather her chaotic thoughts. She pockets the brunettes’ phone and slowly walks out from her bedroom, closing the door gently as in in preservation of her last memory with the brunette. As she approaches the kitchen, she hears hushed voices conversing quietly,

"......you too. Yongsuns' mentioned you a few times now. Nice to be able to put a face to a name. How's Wheein doing?" a low voice asks,

"She's...as expected you know?" she hears the detective reply, "given the situation I think she's holding herself together pretty well. It's Yongsun I'm concerned about right now honestly"

"Fuck, you really think something bad has happened to her?" is whispered solemnly. Wheein hesitates at the threshold of the kitchen, anxious of the silver haired woman's reply,

"I think we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves right now, Hyejin-ssi. Panicking and worst-case scenarios are not what Wheein and Yongsun need right now" the detective replies kindly. Wheeins' heart pounds in her chest. She’s beyond scared but eternally grateful for the calmness and security the detective exudes. Yongsun is lucky to have a friend like her.

"Yeah....yeah you're right" she hears whispered in response. Hyejin accepting the detective’s advice. Wheein doesn't think she’s ever seen Hyejin so agreeable so quickly. The younger woman usually likes to mess round with new people, make them awkward and embarrassed. All in good fun though. She puts these thoughts to the back of her mind for the moment, mentally noting to ask Hyejin about it later. Realising she's eavesdropped for longer than appropriate, she enters the kitchen to find her best friend sitting opposite the detective at her table, nursing a cup of strong black coffee. Both sets of eyes gaze upon her, a weak smile offered by the detective as Hyejin immediately stands, her cup clanking loudly against the table as she rushes over to her best friend to envelope her in a tight hug.

"Oh, Wheein" she says gently, her hand rubbing soothing circles on the blondes back, conveying her feelings with the simple gesture. Wheein closes her eyes, comforted by the younger woman’s presence as she speaks,

"Hyejin-ah, you're here" she breathes. Hugging the younger girl back with the same force offered.

"Of course, I would be, I care about you. Yong too" Hyejin smiles reassuringly, pulling back slightly to look the blonde in the eyes, "she grew on me, kind of like a barnacle. A smart, devastatingly beautiful and stubborn barnacle" she chuckles gently, feeling the blonde let out a small chuckle of her own,

"She has that effect on people" she responds, wrapping her arms around Hyejin to cocoon her in a hug again.

A soft cough is heard from behind the pair where Byul is watching them, a gentle smile gracing her face,

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, but we should take stock of where we're at and what we know so we can move forward" the silver haired woman informs. Reaching into her backpack for a small black notepad and pen.

The blonde nods, removing herself from Hyejins embrace, walking towards the table to sit opposite the detective as she begins to scribble some notes. She removes the brunettes’ phone from her pocket and passes it to the silver haired woman as requested, drawing a grateful glance from the detective. Hyejin has no option but to sit adjacent to the silver haired woman, eyeing her curiously. The blonde watched her friend closely, sure that she is sure she can see a faint blush stain her cheeks. Interesting.

"Thanks for this Wheein" she gestures to the phone. A nod from the blonde.

"Okay, so. Approximately 2 hours ago Wheein returned home from buying ice cream to find Yongsun gone, right?"

Wheein swallows, reliving her panic all over again. Gone is a horrible word. Missing is even worse. Shaking her mind of her thoughts she responds,

"Right"

Hyejins reaches across the table and closes her manicured hand over the blondes calloused one, holding onto it carefully.

"and just before leaving the apartment building, you encountered who we have established to be Park Sodam, in the elevator, correct?"

Hyejin shoots her a questioning glare, eyebrow raised, having been informed about the Sodam situation by the blonde a few weeks ago. With the brunettes blessing of course. Wheein shrinks under her gaze apologetically,

"I didn't know Hyejin-ah, was just before all this happened, I didn't get a chance to tell you” Hyejin nods at the explanation, her eyes sliding back to the silver haired woman,

"Wheein, can you describe Yongsuns mood throughout the day? We may be able to pinpoint where she might have gone, if she went willingly, if we can get a sense of how her mindset was?" the detective enquires respectfully. Both sets of eyes fall on the blonde.

Wheein shrinks under their gazes. She never was one for the spotlight. Funny, given how successful her career has been and the fame generated from it.

"She was happy. Content even.", she sighs, "we had a bit of a misunderstanding last week. It was actually completely my fault" she grimaces, her mind thinking back to the horrible night she accused Yong, "but last night...no, this morning actually, we sorted it. I mean, I'm sure we did?"

Yongsun wouldn't just leave her. Right? Even if she was mad, especially without her phone. They sorted their problem out, they made up. They had breakfast and other activities and Yongsun seemed like her usual self. Thinking back, she’s not so sure now.

No. They repaired it. They communicated like adults. Her panicked mind is just playing tricks on her.

"You had a fight?" Byul asks, scribbling away furiously in her notebook,

"Yes, about a week ago. I said something stupid but its fixed. We fixed it. Was the night her apartment was broken into" she repeats.

"Yongsun never mentioned it?" the detective states, tilting her head and eyeing the blonde, "though I did find it weird that she wanted to stay at mine for the night on the couch rather than with you. But I know better than to push her about something she's not comfortable talking about until she wants to" she smiles sadly at a teary eyed Wheein.

"Yeah, I said something. Something so stupid. An accusation. She was probably too embarrassed to say anything or in her mind, she didn't want you to think bad of me. Fuck, Byul-ssi,.....I didn't.....I couldn't....--" she starts, her voice breaking slightly from the tears she can feel threatening to spill.

"Heyy, hey Wheein-ah, it's okay" Hyejin reassures, squeezing the blondes’ hand, urging her to look at the younger woman.

The blonde sniffs before continuing,

"What if she was still mad Hyejin-ah? What if I just assumed. You know I always assume too much. I'm so stupid. What if she was still hurting and I didn't notice" Wheein cries freely now, the tears that were threatening to spill now effortlessly cascading down her red tinted cheeks.

"Oh, Wheein-ah" Hyejin grimaces, in pain at the sight of her friend, "please don't cry, you'll make me cry and we both know I look terrible crying. So don't make me look ugly in from of this nice detective yeah?" she laughs, hoping to break the tension and comfort the artist.

"Wheein listen..." a low voice interrupts the pair. The blonde turns her sniffling face to the silver haired woman who leans forward, her elbows braced on the table. A resolute expression adorning her face.

"I've known Yongsun for quite a while now, and if there's one thing, I can honestly say about her is this..." she starts, passing tissues to the upset blonde, gesturing for her to wipe her tears,

"Even if she was hurting, hurting bad. She wouldn't make you hurt in return like this. Never like this I promise you. At the most she'd be a little closed off and cold but not just upping and leaving, worrying everyone like this" she affirms. Nodding her head to emphasise her point to encourage the teary blonde.

Wheein glances at Hyejin, wiping her face with the tissues,

"Thank you. Both of you, truly" she whispers, feeling a little overwhelmed.

"That's what we're here for" Hyejin responds, squeezing the blondes’ hand for the second time. The tension in the room is alleviated by Byul who asks,

"Okay. Yongsun was happy, she had no reason to suddenly leave with no trace. That’s helpful to know. Can you tell me what you were doing just before you left? Or during the morning? Did Yongsun mention that she might have had to go anywhere?"

Wheein flushes a deep red. Hyejin raises an eyebrow, smirk placed firmly on her face,

"I know you told me a little bit on the phone and I'm sorry to ask the same questions over and over but sometimes it helps you to remember facts or details you might have forgotten or even overlooked" the silver haired woman encourages,

The blonde retracts her hand from Hyejin, leaning back in her chair and folding them over her chest as she recounts her morning,

"We made some breakfast after talking things over in the morning. About the misunderstanding you know?" she smiles sadly, Byul writes the details down,

"We explicitly mentioned that we didn't have anything to do today, that’s why after breakfast we went back to bed to watch some movies, a lazy day to just relax. One thing led to another, and we had sex around late morning into early afternoon" Wheein breaths, her cheeks are now a crimson shade. Hyejin smiles at her shyness.

"After, I really wanted something sweet, so I decided to go get some ice cream while she stayed in bed"

"Okay" the detective scribbles in her notebook quickly,

"Just as I was leaving, she said she was gonna take a quick shower. Then as I was leaving, she shouted that she loved me, and that she wanted chocolate flavour" she smiles wistfully, "she has such a sweet tooth"

The blondes’ expression turned sour,

"When I was leaving the building, I met a woman in the elevator who wanted to know about a seafood restaurant" she scowls,

"Which restaurant?" the detective queries, intrigued

"Yongsun and I's favourite" the blonde replies, passing the silver haired woman the name of the place, having goggled the address on her phone, 'She knew my name when she was leaving. Which I thought was fucking weird. In the moment though, I didn't pay attention" she closes her arms around her waist, holding herself,

" I should've realised who it was, especially knowing that Sodam was potentially around, and someone messing around in Yongs’ apartment last week, but I wasn't focused you know? I was happy and excited to be back on good terms with Yong and.....and...."

"And?" Hyejin encourages,

"Careless. I was fucking careless" she breathes, closing her eyes tightly. Her hands clench into tight fists, anger rising within the artist. Hyejin and Byul share a worried glance,

"Wheein-ah don't think like that-" Hyejin starts,

Wheein snaps her eyes open, startling the younger woman and giving the detective pause on her frantic scribbling,

"Don't think like that?" she exclaims, "don't think like that?!" her voice rises,

"Wheein---" Byul tries, sensing the blondes’ distress,

"It was fucking Sodam in that elevator and I wasn't paying attention! If she's done something to Yong......and she’s hurt.....how can that not be my fault?! I was with her! I gave her the fucking name of our favourite place!" she shouts, angry tears now spilling down her cheeks, "Yong trusted me to take care of her! The one time when it mattered, I let her down!".

Her hand slams into the table, soft cries emanating around the room. The stress is too much.

"Whe---" is breathed from Hyejin, desperation etched onto the younger woman’s face.

The blonde must leave the room. She can't breathe. It's too much. Stress. Guilt.

I'm Sorry, Yong.

The blonde stands abruptly, worried eyes watching her, not daring to speak. Even the detective knows that right now is not the time. The blonde must process the situation. Wheein wipes at her eyes angrily before pushing in her chair, offering a small bow to the detective and Hyejin,

"Excuse me please", she pleads helplessly before retreating to her bedroom and closing the door. She just needs a minute. Or two.

Why do the people I love always leave?

It's happening again. I can't.

Come back to me Yong, please.

 


Minutes turned into hours. Day turned into night. The blonde having sobbed herself to sleep clutching at the pillow the brunette was laying on, her perfume still lingering on the soft cotton. If Wheein thinks hard enough, she can almost will herself to think the brunette is there with her.

Wheein sits up groggily, sleepy refusing to let her escape its clutches fully. A scowl graces her features as the events of the day flood her mid. She notices that her room is dark, signalling that she must've been out for a while. She must've needed the rest. Sighing, she heaves her tired body from the messy bed, inhaling the sweet smell of Yongsun one more time. She smooths down her wrinkled clothes and looks at herself in the mirror.

Red rimmed swollen eyes, hunched. Tired.

That’s not important right now. Need to find Yong.

She scolds herself.

She can hear the soft voices of what she assumes is some tv show playing quietly from her living room. In that moment, she allows herself a moment of reprieve from reality. A moment, whereby she'll walk out and find the brunette curled up on the couch with her favourite blanket and adorably childish duck printed pyjamas. She'll look at Wheein and she'll smile. She'll gesture for her to come and join her. She'll hold her close as they laugh at nothing and everything.

She'll love her.

A crash that sounds like something smashing followed by a string of mumbled curse words bring her out of her sombre thoughts. Who?

Upon exiting her bedroom, Wheein stumbles upon a flustered Hyejin, violently brushing up broken glass from what appears to be Wheeins favourite mug that's now in multiple pieces scattered across the hard floor. Wheein feels guilt crawling and prickling at her back as she thinks about how she lost her temper at her friend. Hyejin has never been anything but patient with her and her moods. Understands her. Sighing,

"You can pay for that" she states at the younger woman, trying to make her voice sound light. Even though she feels suffocated inside. Like her throat is full of rocks.

If the younger woman was startled by her presence she gave no indication, continuing her task of cleaning up the cup destruction without looking back at the blonde,

"I will"

The blonde grimaces at the tone, "Hyejin-ah?"

"Mhm?" She continues to sweep, the shovel gaining her rapt attention,

"I'm so sorry" she starts. locking eyes with her friend who turns so quickly she’s lucky she didn't get whiplash,

"Sorry?" she questions, holding the broken glass in the small shovel and the brush in the other, her face slightly sweaty,

Wheein blinks, confused at the question,

"For earlier. For shouting" she clarifies, obvious.

Hyejin scowls at her, deep and meaningful. Wheein shivers. The only other time Hyejin has scowled this much at her is when she told her she’s giving her ex-girlfriend another chance after being caught cheating on her with her literature professor.

"Don't"

Wheein gulps,

"Don't apologise Wheein-ah" the younger woman’s face softens, "you didn't do anything wrong. It's a pretty fucked up situation and I'd say, you're handling it pretty fucking well" she affirms, depositing the glass carefully in the bin in the kitchen. Leaving a shell shocked Wheein in the living room.

"Huh" is all she can articulate.

The younger woman returns to the Livingroom and takes a seat on the couch, gesturing for Wheein to do the same next to her. The blonde obliges her friend and takes a seat as the younger brunette starts,

"Byul went back to the station", Wheeins head whips up, "even though you can't file a missing person’s report yet, she said she’s got a pretty good friend in the force who could help her try and track Yong using CCTV from your building and the streets. At the very least it would narrow down if she left the building."

"Bu--"

"She said she couldn't before because she had to be absolutely sure that Yong didn't leave willingly or because she was hurt after an argument. She could get into trouble as it is, but if she checked using the CCTV and then it turned out that it was a 'lovers tiff' if you wanna be crude, then she'd be up shit creek"

"I see", The blonde nods. She sighs, rubbing her face with her hands as Hyejins looks at her sympathetically.

"We'll find her Wheein-ah" she whispers,

"It's dark now, Hyejin-ah" Wheein states, anxiety rising again, "and I feel useless just sitting here"

"I understand it's hard, but Yongsun doesn’t have her phone, or her car. There's nothing you can do" Hyejin states,

"That has never made anyone feel better when they say that you know?" Wheein eyes her friend

"It's the fucking truth"

"God, you curse so much Hyejin"

"You're damn right I fucking do" she smiles. Making Wheein chuckle lightly.

"Byul is on it Wheein-ah, and I trust her. She seems nice and respectable and trustworthy." Hyejin trawls, her eyes glazing over slightly. The blonde raises an eyebrow and folds her arms across her chest,

"You think so?" she smirks,

"Yeah, and her hair is so pretty, and she looks pretty strong don't you think?" Hyejin stammers,

"Wow" The blonde laughs,

"What?" the younger woman scowls at her friend, lines leaving deep marks in her forehead,

"Nothing"

"No, what is it?"

"Oh, nothing. Just that you're sweet on miss detective, no?" she smirks,

"I am not" Hyejin states firmly.

Wheein just stares at her for a few seconds before watching the realisation dawn across Hyejins face,

"Oh Fuck"

"Language!"

The settle into a comfortable silence. Both lost in thought before Wheein speaks up,

"Byul checked Yongs' work, right? It's the only place I can think of that she would suddenly go to without letting me know. Maybe an emergency?" she questions hopeful.

Hyejin eyes her friend, "She did, as soon as she left, she checked her work. Even contacted some of her colleagues and the doorman to ask if they saw her around or in the building. But nothing. She wasn't there. They all said the same thing - it was her day off".

" I see" Wheein nods sadly.

 


Hyejin stayed with Wheein into the night, the pair having fallen asleep on the couch curled into one another, awaiting any news from the detective.

The blonde feels restless. By the morning, if there is no news Wheein will have to involve Yongsuns family. At the very least her sister. Moreover, she’s decided that she'll start to go around to her and Yongsuns favourite spots. She didn't do this earlier under the advice of Byul who theorised that Wheein should be there if Yongsun returned suddenly. But, by morning. Enough is enough.

She's awoken suddenly by her obnoxious ringtone blaring into the quiet of her apartment, Hyejin grunts beside her into the darkness, also awoken.

Wheein stumbles to reach her phone, eyes squinting as she read the caller ID:

Detective Byul

Wheein swallows, bracing herself with the wall before bringing the phone to her ear shakily,

"Hello?"

"Wheein!" the detective urges quickly,

The blonde feels anxiety creeping up in her bones, this is the most panicked the artist has ever heard the silver haired woman,

"I'm here, any news? Did you find her? Please tell me you found her?"

There’s a lot of commotion in the other end of the line. The blonde can hear voices and what sounds like a lot of machines and people moving around,

"We found her........"

Wheein blinks. The rest of Byuls news is blocked out by the sound of the blood rushing to her ears. The sound of her own heartbeat is deafening.

"......Wheein? Wheein are you there?" the detective is almost pleading.

Shaking her head, she pays attention to the detective as Hyejin come to stand by her, close to the phone to listen in,

"Wait Byul sorry, can I speak to her? Where are you? Is she okay?" Wheein asks frantically, eyes wide and adrenaline rushing through her veins,

A brief pause, the noises on the other end of the line continuing,

It sounds chaotic.

"No, Wheein. She's not okay. You have to come to Severance hospital now."

The line drops.