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The mortifying ordeal of being known

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This was fine. This would be fine. Luz had invited her over for an Azura book club evening. And Amity had accepted because of course! Her two favourite things! In one place! 

 

This was fine.

 

Just her and Luz alone. 

 

This was fine .

 

"Don't mess up the house!" Eda was calling as Amity found her way towards The Owl House. "I'm going out to go pickpocket some rubes!"

 

"And I'm going to help!" King announced from the back of her staff as they flew off.

 

Okay. That meant they'd be alone. That was fine. 

 

"Amity!" Luz popped her head out from the behind the door, beaming. "Hey! I got us snacks!"

 

The snacks were strange and human. "They're called chips," Luz explained. "Eda found some packs in her latest garbage haul."

 

"Garbage haul?" Amity asked. "Wait, don't...don't explain that."

 

But Luz was chowing down on them pretty enthusiastically, so Amity picked one up and took a dainty bite of it. It mostly tasted salty. Luz was enjoying herself though. And that was good. Amity was happy to just watch her eat and talk.

 

"Hey, what did you think of book six?" Luz asked, and Amity realised she'd been talking for a bit.

 

"Oh!" Oh right . "It was good. I liked...the scenes with Azura and Hecate." Azura and Hecate had held hands for a second longer than usual and Amity had found herself pressing the book against her face, overcome with a mix of yearning and love. When she'd drawn the scene, the good witch Azura had fluffy short hair in an adorably grown out pixie cut and brown skin, and Hecate had had green hair. It was just an... interpretation, right?

 

"I loved that too!" Luz leaned in close, a wide smile on her face and Amity fell backwards in horror at how close she was. Luz pulled her back up. "Oh man, I just loved it when they went from enemies to friends. But all those close moments? And Hecate going all red? I ship it!"

 

"Me too," Amity said, feeling a sort of lightness in her chest. Lately she'd found herself thinking more and more about girls together. How nice that was. She'd thought none of the boys at school were attractive, but her entire world had been turned upside down by Luz. As usual. 

 

What if she just...didn't like boys? That felt okay. She'd tried saying it a few times to herself. I like girls. I like girls. I like girls. And that had felt alright. It had felt...good. 

 

I like girls. And I like Luz.

 

That had felt less good. More like five hundred bats flapping around inside her.

 

Luz spent hours talking, and Amity was happy to watch, listening to her, occasionally commenting. As the sun set and the moon rose, Luz finally stretched and said, "oh! It's so late!"

 

"What?" Amity had completely lost herself in her time with Luz. "Oh! Oh it is."

 

Luz leaned to look out the window and Amity gazed at her exposed neck under her hoody. "It's real dark outside. Are you sure you wanna walk home in that?"

 

"I can! I don't wanna overstay. I can just- I can absolutely walk home! It'll be fine!"

 

"I don't know," Luz frowned. "It's so late! Are you sure you wouldn't want to stay? I can lend you some PJs!"

 

"Stay here? With you?" Amity felt her face go red hot. "Alone? In your cute PJs? Alone? Where you sleep?" She jumped to her feet. "I should go!"

 

"No, wait!" Luz grabbed her arm. "Come on! It'll be fun! We can talk about Azura all night and do homework and talk about school--"

 

Okay. This would be fine. Amity, completely stiff, let Luz drag her up the stairs of the Owl House to...her room. 

 

"You've only got one…" Amity looked around. It was a pretty empty room, with what looked like a nest of soft blankets and a sleeping bag. "Nest?" Did humans have nests?

 

"You think it's a nest?" Luz looked delighted. "I always wanted a nest! Eda has one. She puts shiny things in it. Well, if it's a nest...mama birds always have space for babies in their nests. So just call me mama!"

 

"Human nest," Amity said, red faced. She was going to be spending the night in a human nest. That was bad enough. Adding the mama comment was enough to make her feel dizzy. She tried to right herself as Luz dug through her things. 

 

"Here we are!" She reappeared with a set of pyjamas Amity would call adorable . Long sleeves, long legs, a little turn down at the collar as though it was a little peach coloured suit jacket. 

 

"Oh. Wow. Pyjamas," Amity managed as she took them.

 

"Yeah! Look, I'll wear these," Luz took out a large shirt that had the words Bad Girls Coven and what looked like a cartoon of Eda on it, and a pair of shorts. Shorts. So she'd see Luz's legs.

 

Oh dear. Her heart was starting to beat just a little too fast.

 

"Okay!" Luz said brightly. "Turn around and we'll get changed!"

 

Oh no. Amity did as she was told, holding the pyjamas as she did. Behind her, she heard the unmistakable rustling of cloth as Luz began taking off her shirt. She could...she could turn around and peek right now and see more of Luz's beautiful brown skin, the warm colour of her back…

 

Feeling light headed with how long it had been since she had last dared to breathe, Amity fixed her eyes on the ground and took off her own clothes, changing quickly. The idea of Luz turning around too quick and seeing her vulnerable was somehow both exciting and terrifying. The part of her that had felt settled and good and even proud when she'd admitted to herself that she liked girls was now writhing at the idea of changing next to Luz, even though there was a changing room at school she'd used every grudgby match she'd captained! Why was this harder?

 

"Okay! I'm dressed!" Luz said behind her. 

 

Amity was folding and refolding her day clothes. She'd gotten changed in record time, but only managed a tight lipped "uh huh!" to indicate she was changed too. She put her clothes down in the corner and turned to look at Luz. 

 

Look respectfully , she reminded herself. Luz was smiling at her brightly. "You look so cute, baby bird!"

 

Oh no. Amity looked down, unable to meet that megawatt smile. And her eyes lighted on Luz's bare feet. And moved up to her ankles. And then her long, gangly legs…

 

Why was she so cute? Why was everything she did so adorable? Amity felt her lips tremble and forced her eyes up to meet Luz's. "You look cute also. M…" don't say it. Goddammit, Amity! She swore internally, you are a Blight! Do not lower yourself! "-mama bird." 

 

Why did gayness always win over dignity?

 

Luz laughed and turned off the lights, slapping a light glyph that rose into the air, illuminating them both. She was lit up in gold, and the way it sparkled over her hair made Amity feel strange inside, tingly, warm. She'd wanted to be alone with Luz again, under a light spell. Every time it happened she wanted it again. 

 

The other girl was widening the human nest as Amity gazed at her. Finding another pillow, another blanket. "Here! Cleared you a spot right next to me."

 

"Right...next...to…" oh no.

 

"Yeah! It's gonna be so much fun! We can whisper stories to each other!"

 

"Stories…" oh no. Oh no.

 

"Are you okay?" Luz was looking at her with concern. "You're so red."

 

Amity sank to the ground and lay in the human nest, pulling the blanket up to her chin. "I'm fine!" She said, too quickly.

 

"Are you suuuure?"

 

"Absolutely fine," came the muffled reply as Amity pulled the blanket over her face.

 

"Alright!" She felt the movement as Luz lay down close to her. Close enough to touch. "Sometimes I snore so just roll me over if I do. Don't be afraid!"

 

"I'm-- I'm not afraid," she insisted in a trembling voice.

 

"Hmmmmmmm," said Luz, doubtfully. "You know, lots of people are afraid of the dark."

 

What.

 

"Is that why you're acting weird?"

 

"I'm not acting weird! I've never been scared in my life!"

 

"Uh huh."

 

"Definitely not of the dark!"

 

"Sure! But I'm a pretty heavy sleeper," Luz said, conspiratorially, way too close to Amity's face under the blanket. "If you need to put on a light, just put on a light." Amity's face grew red hot.

 

"I don't need a baby light! I haven't needed a baby light since I was eight!"

 

"Neither have I," Luz said, and Amity pulled down the blanket to catch a grin on the other girl's face and barely held in a groan of utter despair. How did she always look so dumb doing this? "But you know. Sometimes the dark is scary, right? Goodnight, Amity! Or you know, baby bird !" 

 

She felt the darkness move in as Luz ended the spell, and the impact in the human nest of Luz's head hitting the pillow. Did humans have beds? Would Luz maybe sleep over one day and see...her bed?

 

Oh boy. Too much to think of. She turned her head to look at the other girl who was already dozing, arms outstretched, mouth slightly open. Sleeping over. They'd be together for hours. Alone. In the same small space. In the same nest. And Luz had called her baby bird , and at least once she'd called Luz mama bird and that was too much. She slapped a hand to her face and held back a groan. Her diary would be getting pages written in it once she got back to her hideaway.

 

She'd been contemplating her horrible luck, painfully dissecting every moment she'd accidentally made a total fool of herself in Luz's presence this evening, when Luz had rolled over to face her. The other girl's face was relaxed in sleep, a sweet look, a sweet smile. Amity stared. In rolling, Luz had closed the gap between them.

 

That wasn't good.

 

Heart pounding, Amity shifted away a little bit, breathing a sigh of relief when there were a few more inches between them. She was counting her lucky stars when Luz rolled again. "What?"

 

She shifted away again. Luz rolled to fill the gap, still sleeping. Amity shifted away again, and Luz rolled once more. " Seriously ?" Once more she shifted, but this time there was nowhere further to go. Her side hit the wall of the room. 

 

Amity closed her eyes as though up for execution. 

 

Luz let out a sort of snore-snort and rolled over yet again, one of her gangly arms flopping over Amity. Amity felt, very briefly, as though her heart was going to stop beating. She held her breath, lying incredibly still, until her face matched that of a tomato and she had to force herself to breathe in again or pass out. 

 

Her brain, usually so cool and collected, making plans, had gone eerily quiet. There was nothing now but the pulsing of her heart slamming in her chest, beating a rhythm that sang Luz Noceda is hugging me we are in bed together and she is hugging me over and over again until it felt imprinted in her bones. It was like those attacks she got whenever she found herself falling short of her mother's expectations, the title of top student , her older siblings' achievements; the tightening of her chest, her inability to control her own breathing, the way she was spiraling all felt like those attacks. But this was... different? Not as bad. 

 

There was something good in it.

 

Luz snuggling, actively snuggling , into her shoulder, her hair - fluffy, warm - tickling Amity's nose. Amity thought her heart was trying to explode from her chest. This was something terrifying, but at the same time she found herself recognising something there she liked. Something she'd even quietly fantasised about, late at night, when she allowed herself to think about why her lips tingled when she was around Luz, what being alone together under a light spell if she were braver might look like, what it might be like to play more sports with her...how nice it would be to rub her hair the way Eda got to. Or to run her fingers along the strange roundness of her human ears. 

 

It would be nice to have Luz touch her own pointy ears too. That thought, Luz close to her face, those nice hands with the long fingers gently running up the points of her ears, that was usually enough to force her to press her face into her pillow for a...a while. When Ed and Em had found out about her ear touching dreams while reading her diary, they'd laughed so hard and teased her about yearning until she'd vowed to never dream of it again. 

 

But now Luz was snuggled against her. So close. Would she...would she mind? Amity bit her bottom lip, and reached up. With the very tip of her index finger, she gently traced the shell of Luz's ear. Her thumb joined in, and the academic side of Amity took over, suddenly fascinated. There was cartilage, but less. The skin over it was so thin. And these ears seemed slightly less movable than her own. She could wiggle hers, but Luz's ears felt firmly attached. Luz made a soft noise, but Amity felt her fingers betray her instinct to jump away as though caught. She felt too good, lying so close to Luz. Touching the ear had set something strange off within her, a pulsing sensation all the way through her body as though she were one big heart beating for Luz. 

 

Now her fingers skated gently across soft skin to cup Luz's cheek. She gazed downwards, wondering how to ward her diary even more because she would need to write about this, need to remember every single moment of this. The slackness of Luz's face, the adorable expression, the warmth of her crush's body, the reassuring weight of an arm across her torso...the mysterious way her body felt, the growing desire to kiss Luz, just once, and hope she didn't wake up. 

 

Amity swallowed, promising she'd write. And then leaned down into that fluffy mess of soft-smelling hair and kissed Luz on the top of her head. Something in her felt like fireworks going off all over, and her lips were tingling again but this time she felt like a champion! It was like taking a thousand grudgby match trophies, like getting top student every year, like overthrowing Ed and Em's high scores, like when her roots showed more than usual but her mother didn't notice so she didn't have to dye them away -- it was a victory, hard fought! Well won! 

 

Amity was celebrating internally, a smile forcing itself into her face until her cheeks hurt, when Luz stirred. 

 

Okay. That was revenge for kissing her head and touching her ears without permission. Should she pretend to be asleep again?

 

"Mmmmmmmmph." Said Luz. Followed by, "Aw no! Amity! I've really boxed you in, huh?"

 

Amity forced herself to look at Luz, reminding herself that they were in the dark, that Luz couldn't see how red she was. She was safe. Luz smacked a glyph and created a light spell. Well, beetles. "It's okay," she choked out. 

 

She was close to the wall. They'd rolled right up against it. But that was fine. "It's fine!" Amity said, a little louder than she meant to.

 

"But you're all squished in!" Luz stuck her bottom lip out. "I must've just rolled on top of you, huh Amity?"

 

"What? No!! It's fine. Who's Amity?"

 

"Come on!" Luz held out a hand and Amity took that outstretched hand just so she could hold hands with her. Luz dragged her away from the wall and flopped down with her closer to the human nest she had. "Okay!" She said, when they were lying down again, a number of inches between them that made Amity feel miserable on the inside. "This is better. More space for you, right?"

 

"Um," said Amity, not sure how to say, I don't want my own space, I want you flopped all over me without sounding as though she was submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being known. Amity Blight was not vulnerable and she kept her feelings hidden (unless Luz was in her personal space or talking to her or passing through her thoughts or just existing close by at which point those feelings became slightly easier to read). She wouldn't say, by the Titan, I want your arms around me again.

 

The good witch Azura would know how to handle this.

 

She shivered a little, staring up at the ceiling in abject misery, on her back in the human nest without the human hugging her. "Are you cold?" Luz asked, because of course. "Your face is red and you're all shivery. Are you okay?"

 

"I'm fine! What's a face?"

 

"Hmmmmmmm," said Luz, eyes narrowing. She reached out and actually squeezed Amity's hand, a tidbit that was absolutely going in the diary under the section fantasies that have recently come true. "Well, okay! But if you get cold during the night, just give me a hug, alright?"

 

A what? A hug? What were-- Oh. Oh no. Those human things where--

 

"Like this!" Luz wrapped her up in her arms and squeezed her close and Amity stopped breathing again. "Okay? I run hot so I'll warm you up!" This was finished with a big smile, and then Luz was rolling over with a stretch. "Gotta make sure I don't accidentally pin you to a wall again!"

 

And Amity was left in the dark, the tingling sensation of Luz's body still sending fireworks through her brain. She had that all over heartbeat sensation again as she stared wide-eyed at the ceiling. She'd known Luz was demonstrative and enthusiastic and affectionate, but she'd hoped to survive the night. It felt as though this crush might kill her. She would die from being gay. That was what was going to happen. Amity Blight: too gay to live.

 

Luz's breathing shifted to soft noises, gentle sounds. The cue that she'd actually passed out again. Amity rolled onto her side, gazing at her form. The softness of her body, the way her hair fluffed against the pillow, the strange sense of fragility when she watched the way her side moved up and down with each breath. Humans were fragile. That was a fact that really powered all of Amity's fantasies of saving Luz from threats and looking strong and cool. But those fantasies had always been abstract; certainly Luz's resilience was made broadly clear whenever she came up against any hurdle. But asleep she seemed smaller, in need of protection. As though she could fit easily in the space between Amity's arms and Amity's chest. 

 

Was she yearning ? She was yearning again.

 

Amity reached out a shaking hand and rested it on Luz's side. What would happen if...well. She could hug her back. Couldn't she? And then say...and then say that it was a...a mistake! Yes! She had fallen asleep too and rolled just like Luz had and just flopped over her. That was the plan! Amity thanked her brain for finally working, and shifted closer. When her chest was a centimeter away from Luz's back, she tried to think of the best way to do this. What would look most casual?

 

She lay on her back and practised, rolling and lifting her arm a few times until it felt right. And then she rolled over, draping her arm around Luz, and silently mouthed yes! her fists balling with excitement as it worked. Now she was cuddled against Luz in a way that she could explain without saying that she'd wanted to cuddle her! Genius move!

 

And this was nice. Wow. Luz was warm all over, her hair gently tickling Amity's nose. Where her pyjama top had ridden up, a small strip of brown flesh was peeking out and felt even warmer than the rest of her. Amity thought back to her fan comic of The Good Witch Azura, where Azura and Hecate had to hide out in a snowbank and warm each other with their body heat. In her head the images of Azura and Hecate were starting to morph, and she forced that thought out because whenever she imagined herself that close, no barriers, to Luz something embarrassing happened. Usually Ed and Em related.

 

She was a couple of centimeters taller than Luz was, which meant that her toes could gently press to the bottom of Luz's heel, feeling soft skin. One of her arms, pinned beneath her, was starting to get all pins-and-needles-y, so she propped it beneath her head, gazing at the back of Luz's head, her sweet round ears, the warm brown hair. Her other arm was flopped around Luz, and Amity found that she liked this . She liked it a lot. She wasn't sure about receiving hugs because they made her feel like she was spiraling but also like she needed them, a strange out of control jumble. But hugging someone, she got that now. Having an arm thrown around Luz felt protective. It was like telling the world this was her human to look after, to have, to hold. And when Luz made a soft noise in her sleep, Amity squeezed her and felt a rush of warmth. 

 

Okay. This was good. She could handle being like this for the rest of...for forever. They could skip school. Skip everything. Just carry on like this for a bit.

 

In her arms, Luz mumbled something. There was a peaceful look on her face when Amity leaned over. "What?" She asked, despite herself.

 

"Mmm," Luz said, still asleep, leaning back into the body behind her. "Mittens."

 

Amity wondered if it was possible to pass out from embarrassment before remembering that she had, in fact, passed out from embarrassment before. And anger. But Luz was relaxed and warm and so cute in her sleep and everything else slipped away. 

 

She found the best place was with her arm across Luz's stomach, fingers slipped ever so slightly under the edge of her pyjama shirt, her body tight against the curves of Luz's and her nose pressed against Luz's hair, breathing her in. She hadn't meant to fall asleep. It was simple, she told herself. She would spend five minutes like this, and then roll over. And then five turned into ten, fifteen, twenty, and then she'd lost count, and everything had begun to gently blur away until she felt her eyes close and told herself it was just to appreciate this more.

 

When Amity woke up, it took a moment to understand where she was. She was in a room that smelled wonderful. She was curled up in a space that felt like the best place she'd ever slept in. She felt strangely flushed and embarrassed but deeply happy, and there was something in her arms. She squeezed it. 

 

A...a pillow?

 

Amity opened her eyes, even though she already knew what pillows felt like when you squeezed them. She'd fallen asleep enough times feeling lonely while drawing Azura/Hecate fanart or feeling even lonelier thinking about a day spent with Luz, and falling asleep practising doing that thing that Luz called a hug to a pillow was the only thing that helped alleviate some of that.

 

It was a pillow. Filled with owl feathers. Amity sat up hard, throwing the pillow in her mix of horror and fear.

 

Oh no. That meant Luz had woken up. And had realised Amity had fallen asleep wrapped around her.

 

Oh no.  

 

"Amity!" Luz called from the other end of the room.

 

"Gotta go!" Amity said, and sprinted out of the door.

 

"But you're in your pyjamas! Or, more accurately, my pyjamas!" Luz called after her. 

 

That was...that was true. Amity tugged at the cute shirt. This was Luz's. She needed to give it back. And work out a way to see her in it-- no ! Stop! Brain, stop!

 

She slinked back inside the room, casting a sad look at the human nest. That had all been easier last night.

 

Luz was smiling at her from across the room, an expression so bright Amity almost couldn't look directly at it. She slinked a bit closer. 

 

"We should get breakfast," Luz was saying.

 

"I'm sorry about last night," Amity was saying at the same time. She covered her mouth, and Luz looked at her, concerned.

 

"Hey, how come? You didn't do anything!" Luz seemed to think about this. "Well, when I woke up you were hugging me so tight I had to get Hooty to help me swap with a pillow--"

 

"Nobody hugs me like that!" Hooty said, his horrifying visage appearing in the window. Luz pulled the curtains without looking. 

 

"But I told you you could hug me. Guess you're just good at it now!"

 

"Good...at...hugging?" Amity asked, face red.

 

"Maybe youuuu could hug MEEEEEE ," Hooty said, head popping through the curtained window, cheek pressing to Amity's cheek. Amity punched him in the face.

 

Luz seemed content to watch in mild awe as Amity forced the long owl face out of the window, the creature yelling in pain. She growled as she locked the window, pulling the curtains again, and Luz let out a little laugh. 

 

Again. Here it was. Grappling with the mortifying ordeal of being known.

 

"You know you're pretty good already, but if you wanna practise more you can hug me any time!" Luz told her, arms out.

 

Amity stared at her, face red. And then she leaned in and felt Luz's arms wrap around her and that felt so good and it felt so good to wrap her own arms around Luz and feel her breathing and warm and so nice and and and--

 

Luz was saying something that sounded suspiciously like, that's what friends are for and Amity felt her body move before she could stop it, her head turn, her lips press to those round ears.

 

"Whoa!" Said Luz.

 

"Sorry!" Amity dropped her end of the hug, arms up, trying to backpedal, not sure how to apologise for such a grievous crime. "Sorry sorry sorry sorry--"

 

But Luz was still hugging her. Still gazing into her eyes. And she was moving again, one big heartbeat. Her nose brushed Luz's, bumped it, and then her lips clumsily crashed into Luz's mouth.

 

It wasn't like in her fanfic, whenever Azura and Hecate kissed. It wasn't anything like that. She spent ages looking through thesauruses for ways to describe those scenes, but right now her head was completely empty of anything but how nice it felt to have a mouth against hers. How soft Luz's lips were, how warm her body was against hers.

 

Luz didn't break away. So Amity did, leaning back, out of breath, flushed, feeling a strange mix of deliriously happy and strangely overcome. Luz was still staring at her, dumbfounded. And then she reached up, cupping Amity's cheek and Amity considered just running away. "But what about your crush?" Luz asked.

 

"Wh-- what?" Of all the questions Luz could have asked, this was not one Amity expected.

 

"Your crush? The person you were gonna ask to Grom?" Luz said, leaning in, concerned. "What's wrong? Did they say no? Ed and Em said you had a big crush and that your crush didn't get know about it at all and-- and did they hurt you? Do you want me to witch's duel them?"

 

Amity stared at her. How...what? What? This was like Luz. Anytime Amity thought she could control her emotions around her, Luz would do something caring but dumb and it would send her entire world careening again. 

 

She didn't know of anyone who cared for her as much as Luz did.

 

She tried to marshal her thoughts and say something that made sense. Instead she said, "you can't duel yourself," which seemed pretty true. "Unless you get really into illusion magic," she added. "Maybe make a clone that doesn't disperse the moment something hits it?"

 

"Oh," said Luz. Followed by, "Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

 

Amity took a step back, finally getting out from Luz's limp arms. Her face was burning again. Oh no. Too much. Way too much. "I should...you know what? I should go."

 

"Hey!" Luz grabbed her from behind and Amity felt her entire body stiffen. She started to fall, but Luz kept her up, holding her close as Amity's legs buckled. "Hey! Hey! You had a crush on me and I didn't know it?"

 

Amity looked at the ground. Luz responded by leaning down to force herself into her line of vision. Amity looked to one side. Luz followed her, standing in her way, a wide smile on her face. Amity looked up, and Luz began jumping up and down, trying to get into her vision that way. "Luz!"

 

Luz cupped her cheek gently, so softly that Amity felt herself come undone. She leaned into the touch, lips parting. And Luz leaned in too, until their noses touched. "You liiiiiiiiiiiiiike me," Luz said, a wide grin on her face. "You think I'm preeeeeeeetty , you liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike me, you wanna be my girlfriiieeeeend ."

 

Amity covered her face with both of her hands, feeling herself get red all over. "Luz!"

 

But Luz took her hands away, and their noses were bumping together again as she kissed Amity. And that was so nice. It was so nice. Amity reached up as Luz kissed her, and her fingers found Luz's strange human ears again, her thumb tracing the shape. Luz laughed into the kiss. "I'm ticklish there!" She said, pulling away. 

 

"Really?" Amity gazed at her, wide-eyed. Ticklish? Luz had a cute weakness. She rubbed the round shell of Luz's ear with the tips of her fingers and felt Luz giggle against her, the way her ribs expanded close to her body hypnotising. And then Luz reached up and her warm hands were cupping Amity's cheeks, her thumbs shifting to gently rub along Amity's pointy ears. 

 

Her dream was coming true. Amity leaned in and Luz met her halfway, their lips bumping awkwardly against each other. And it was strange, and it wasn't perfect and it was clumsy. But it felt nice. Her hands on Luz's waist. Luz's arms dropping to wrap around her. And the last time she'd had her hands on Luz's waist had been while they'd been dancing at Grom and she remembered again how easily she'd dipped the human, how Luz had picked her up and...she was red faced again, but it felt...resolved by the sensation of lips against her own. 

 

"I like you," Luz said. "I like you a lot, Amity. I think you're cute and smart."

 

And this was almost too much. "I think I need to sit down."

 

They sat back down in the human nest. Amity did not let go of Luz's hand. She should, shouldn't she? But this was...nice.

 

Luz was looking at their hands. "Hey," she said. "You know...you know humans need to touch and hug and stuff?"

 

"Is that why you hug people?" Amity asked, face red.

 

"It also feels nice!" Luz said, with a grin so bright Amity thought she might look like the sun, that she was nothing but a small body in orbit around her. "But yeah, if you don't hug enough you start to feel lonely and...I think it's called touch starved? It's a thing. You feel sad and lonely."

 

Amity looked at their hands, linked together. 

 

"Maybe it happens in witches too," Luz suggested gently. 

 

"I don't know what you mean!" Amity looked away, red faced, but did not move her hand from Luz's. 

 

Luz kissed her cheek and Amity felt something warm and soft exploding in her. Luz took her hand away and Amity made a little noise of protest, but then Luz was wrapping her up in her arms. It was too much. Amity buried her red face in Luz's shoulder, enjoying the feeling, overcome, feeling the way her stomach flipped every time she felt Luz's hand running up and down her back. 

 

She was in Luz's pyjamas. In Luz's human nest. Being held by Luz. And Luz had kissed her. Her diary would never believe this.

 

"I like you too, Luz," she said, muffled. Because she hadn't replied before. "You're my crush."

 

"I know that now ," Luz said, the grin in her voice warning Amity's heart. "You're so cute." 

 

"I know I should...I should change and go home but…" she looked up just in time to catch Luz's warm brown eyes. Her heart stopped. "Can I stay? For...only for a little bit."

 

Luz kissed her. "Of course," she said. "And I'll hug you the whole time, okay?"

 

"Okay," Amity said, face red. And then, embarrassingly, "I drew some Azura fan art like this once."

 

Oh no. Why had she said that? 

 

"Oh my gosh!" Luz leaned in, excited. "You gotta tell me all about it! Okay! We're gonna cuddle and I'm gonna write fanfic and you can illustrate it and we'll work together!" 

 

"That sounds...that sounds nice," and it did. It did sound nice. And even though she knew that this would end - she would need to go home at some point, there were other things that they both needed to do - Amity felt Luz hold her and knew that nothing else mattered. 

 

For a little while, at least.