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An Education

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TRANSFIGURATION

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) …

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) ...

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) Potter

(9:01) ...

*

(9:05) Victory is mine! 

(9:05) Wow. What did you say to him? 

(9:07) Wouldn’t you like to know

(9:09) I thought his pretty little head was going to pop right off 

(9:10) Pretty? Ugh. 

(9:15) Potter isn’t pretty

(9:20) There is such a thing as eyes being TOO GREEN you know

(9:27) If you don’t tell me what you sent, I’ll just assume it was a sneaky dick pic

(9:29) UGH NO WHY 

(9:29) -screenshot sent-

(9:32) Is that it?

(9:33) Simple but effective 

(9:39) So it would seem

(9:44) Imagine if you had sent him a dick pic though...

(9:45) Why are you like this

(9:45) ;-p

 

POTIONS

(11:05) Potter

(11:05) Potter

(11:05) Potter

(11:06) I see you have switched off the vibrate function on your phone

(11:06) Aren’t you clever

(11:06) TEN POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR FOR CLEVERNESS

(11:07) ...

(11:10) Apparently not clever enough to reply when Snape’s back is turned you fucking imbecile 

 

DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS

[13:00] #ScandalAtLunchtime

[13:00] #ThomasAndGirlWeasley

[13:00] #ReunitedAndItFeelsSoGood

[13:01] #AreYouSadPotter 

[13:01] #DoYouCryYourselfToSleepAtNight

[13:03] I shall take your swift and dramatic exit from the great hall as an emphatic and resounding YES 

[13:04] Running off to hide? 

[13:04] Do you need a cuddle? 

[13:04] …

[13:05] …

[13:06] Have no fear! The remainder of the golden trio are rather predictably scurrying our after you 

[13:06] Enjoy your cuddle Potter ;-)

 

CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES

[16:17] And we are coming at you LIVE for this weeks’ episode of Hey Potter! Join us as we delve into Gryffindor Golden Boy’s absolute tragic and pathetic love life. So where, pray tell, did it all go gloriously wrong…? 

[16:18] Scarhead: Well I don’t need to tell you that the biggest problem, of course, was my hair

[16:18] I’m sorry, your hair...?

[16:19] Scarhead: As you can see it’s pretty fucking calamitous and sadly I was unable to learn how to use a brush. I’m not very clever. I don't know what all the fuss is about me really. I’m not even that good looking. Anyway, the hairbrush was obviously not an option. Oh I’ve tried magic of course but I’ve started to suspect that this...’thing’ on my head has become sentient. I certainly wouldn’t want to piss it off with an ill-prepared for hex so we’ve just learnt to live with each other.

[16:20] Scarhead: I call him Roberto

[16:21] I see, I see...and Girl Weasley was discontent to share her man with a sentient hair-beast? 

[16:21] Scarhead: Such is life I suppose 

***

[16:19] Is Potter laughing?

[16:20] Not sure I’ve ever even seen him smile

[16:20] Was that your doing? 

[16:21] Draco??

[16:22] Is he smiling at YOU?? 

 

COMMON ROOM

[20:08] He’s not reacting anymore 

[20:09] Ah

[20:09] You mean he’s not reacting how you want him to

[20:10] He’s not supposed to think it’s funny

[20:11] Sentient hair-beast was funny

[20:12] You’re supposed to be helping

[20:12] What do I do???

[20:13] Well

[20:13] I suppose that depends on what your end goal is

[20:14] Annoy him, obviously

[20:14] Wind him up

[20:15] Get him wound up so tight he shouts - no, practically screams your name in frustrated anguish? 

[20:16] Yes exactly! 

[20:16] It’s as if you’re reading my mind!

[20:16] This is why you’re my best friend, only you truly understand the dynamic between Potter and myself 

[20:17] Mhmm, sure

[20:17] Okay here’s what you need to do...

 

WEEKEND

[09:48] This doesn’t seem like such a good idea

[09:49] It’ll work, trust me

[09:49] You’ll get what you want

[09:50] Where are you?

[09:51] Walking to Hogsmeade with the others 

[09:52] What others?? Everyone here left an hour ago

[09:53] Don’t worry about it 

[09:54] What??

[09:54] Who are you with??

[09:54] BLAISE

[09:57] This better work

***

[10:00] What are you wearing?

[10:09] What

[10:10] I know you can read, Potter. Don’t make me repeat myself. 

[10:11] …

[10:12] …

[10:13] Jeans, dark green jumper

[10:14] Good colour on you

[10:15] Thanks…

[10:16] Take it off

Draco swallows and waits. Tries not to imagine the hard muscular lines of Potter’s body as he complies with Draco’s request (demand?). Tries not to imagine, because Potter is surely rolling his eyes at the phone. Has probably tossed it into his bed and changed his mind about going to Hogsmeade and is practically sprinting to tell - to laugh about -

[10:18] Now what