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It's just a cigarette {skins uk/ oc au}

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𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐂𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝

𝚆𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚊𝚖 𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚎, 𝘈 𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮

 

 

 

A playlist:

baby it's a wild world- a playlist

Spotify acc: diaryofananxiousnymphet

playlist: baby it's a wild world- skins




 

A/N: I have many more skins-related Spotify playlists on my acc so feel free to check them out!

 

Chapter Text

 

。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆

From the playlist:

-Date with the Night by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

-I bet you look good on the dancefloor by Arctic Monkeys

-She's so high by Kurt Nilsen

。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆

 

IT FELT WELL-KNOWN TO HIM. It felt well-known driving down the streets on a skateboard in this tiring town. He felt monotone. Not very proud of it but he felt monotone. It was possible to say he was ready for almost anything. And so he skated along down the road which he left a mess after himself. He dodged trash, flew over a few working men, and just as he was looking back at them something unexpected happened; he fell. It wasn't long till he hit the floor and his skateboard flew down. Only until it was stopped.

He looked up slowly to the foot placed on a skateboard. His skateboard. It was a girl. The lollipop between her lips and her vibrant purple color of her hair made the meet between them as dramatic as could be. He had to admit, she made quite an entrance.

"I've seen you skatin'." she spoke looking him dead in the eye "You're pretty shit."

"Fuck off"

She smiled softly as he got up and in a swift movement without hesitation, she got the skate in her hands by a peck of aboard.

"Pixie" She looked at him innocently as she handed him his skateboard and got her hand upfront. But, he was mesmerized. Totally, utterly mesmerized. She was ethereal; she was beautiful.

"Freddie" He blurted, taking her hand in his and keeping eye contact.

"See you around" a wink of hers was enough for him to be ripped off any response other than a slight smile.

"Oi Freddie! Come here man!" said Cook from the table he and JJ were sitting in. "Got fucked up pretty bad, didn't you"

"Shut up" Freddie was still swooning over the purple-haired girl.

"Who's the girl?" asked JJ "She's pretty"

"Yeah, she is" Freddie looked after the girl who was now already halfway to college.

Just as they were talking a car bumped into something near them resulting in a loud bang. A middle-aged man burst out frantically yelling at a poor passer-by; an old woman. There was a girl in the car, Freddie noted. She was beautiful. And then there was Cook being Cook.

"I was signaling you but you just kept coming"

"I did not!" the angry man was now afraid for his sake.

The girl in the car had her eyes on him. Her face was perfectly framed by her straight hair, her eyes looked intoxicatingly pretty like that- with dark black around them. The cigar she kept in her hand caused her lips to part ever so slightly, taking it in. She had a face straight out of a magazine, looking like a walking fever dream and man's worst nightmare. "That girl's looking at you Freddie" exclaimed JJ by his side, beaming a smile to the girl in the car. "Yeah"

She got out of the car in a split second and slowly got to Cook, the two of them sharing a look that sent shivers down Freddies' spine. Her fingers slowly trailed alongside his face, not once breaking eye contact and smearing blood. "Sweet," she said with a sweet voice, bringing her finger to her mouth tasting it.

Ketchup. Fucking ketchup.

 

**✿❀ ❀✿**

 

Pixie was the new girl, for sure. But she wasn't the kind to let it define her. No, even before she moved to Bristol a week ago, she set herself a rule to not be the new girl. She walked confidently, as convincingly as she could. The halls of this cheap-looking school were filled with teens who evidently looked tired, sad, and only a small handful looked somewhat fine. Two identical girls with fire red hair passed by her, one of them giving Pixie dirty looks, and the other one, lagging behind her sister, sent her a warming smile.

Most people were already in the gym where the introduction was set to happen. Pixie strolled down, being one of the last ones there making an entrance the only way she knew.

"Shit" murmured Cook, catching a glimpse of the pretty girl, her short skirt and over-knees.

"That's the girl who distracted Freddie" added JJ, following her with his eyes and playfully swinging Freddie in his arm

"She didn't distract me, for the last time" defended Freddie, once again swoon over her. It was only now that he was able to take in her full appearance. She wore a short black skirt with fishnets and see-through over-knees decorated with a small bow on the front. The top didn't cover a lot, he saw, and her purple hair stood out in the most intriguing way possible. She caught his eye, still chewing on her lolly, and sent him a smile.

The room erupted with various names of students who were asked to raise their hand once called out to show their presence.

"Pi-Pixie Smith? Is it?" shakily said poor blonde woman who was checking their names. Pixie raised her hand slowly with a soft innocent smile. Cook, JJ, and Freddie turned all their attention to her. "Pixie, right?" said Cook but she didn't even flinch "Hey, purple girl, I'm talking to you"

Nothing.

"Come on princess, talk to me." he said somewhat aggressively on what she just plainly turned to him looking him dead in the eye "I'm not you princess, fuck off"

"Yeah? I bet you fuck like a fairy."

"Keep talking and I'll cut your dick off, watch me"

Cook just erupted in a strong laugh and turned to JJ "She's feisty, I like her"

"Leave her alone" added Freddie turning to her one more time to send her a smile and a glance. She didn't pay much attention, though. Soon enough, Cook's attention was placed upon the pretty blonde he just had a conversation with before.

A girl from the front turned around facing Pixie only to send her some kind of a smirk before getting back to something she was scribbling down.

 

**✿❀ ❀✿**

 

"I'm telling you, I'm gonna shag Effy and Pixie by the end of this year.'' The talk Cook was giving to his friend was uninteresting to both of them as Freddie kept looking everywhere except at him and JJ was clearly somewhere in his mind, keeping his eyes on the floor.

"Can you for once stop trying to fuck everything that walks?" the tanned boy has clearly had enough of it.

"But I would lose my sparkle then, wouldn't I?"

Pixie was taking her things from the locker she randomly picked. She ate the whole strawberry lollipop, so she opened a new one. It served as a mechanism to keep a cool facade on her. Something to hold on to so she doesn't collapse. By the corner of her eyes, she could see two boys, one curly-haired and the other looking somewhat baby-faced in a trance. The girl who sent her a smirk just minutes ago, Effy as she recalled, was bent over picking something up from the vending machine leaving her knickers on full display.

Just as she shut the door of the locker a not-so-unfamiliar voice occurred.

"Hi," The tan boy from just before school was standing by her side, leaning on the lockers for support. "Do you mind if I take this locker?" He pointed at a locker next to hers

"Oh, no, not at all." she answered pleasantly, her face lightening up.

They stood there smiling at each other for a couple of brief moments yet it felt like an eternity. The atmosphere was gratifying, making them feel as if they were the only people there. No teachers, no tired students, no cheap school halls- just them sharing a sweet moment.

"Well look who it is! Could it be the sexy fairy?" Cook slyly shimmered by her side, embracing her with his hand over her shoulders pulling them out of the trance. "Came to shag finally?"

The girl burst into laughter "In your dreams Jamie"

Cook chuckled and stiffened at the nickname "Nobody calls me Jamie, love." then he turned stern for a second "It's Cook"

"Wouldn't be so sure of that" she said, collecting everything she needed for her first class today and playing with the lolly in her mouth as she came closer to him, whispering. "I fuck better than a fairy" The boy's eyes widened and he stood there in a trance as the girl passed them adding JJ's "Cool tricks" as a side comment and went on about her day not looking back.

"She's not gonna call me Jamie now, is she?" It was a rhetorical question so he didn't expect an answer but all he got was two lazy shrugs from his friends.

 

**✿❀ ❀✿**

 

Fuck this Pixie said to herself as she walked down the hall to her first class. On the door stood the twins and she tried to get through but one of them blocked her way. Pixie rolled her eyes vividly but the girl didn't flinch. "You're Pixie right?" she said excitedly at what she got only a lazy head approval

"You're like so pretty. I'm Katie, and that is my sister Emily" she pointed to the girl in the back who gave Pixie an apologetic look. Katie kept rambling on and just at the right moment came to Effy up behind them. "Hey"

"Are you Effy Stonem?" Katie shifted her attention to Effy who didn't flinch and kept her monotone voice "Don't you have like a really cool brother?"

"Yeah he's cool"

"All my friends fancied him. I wasn't so fussed, though. Didn't he go mental or something? Anyway, I've got a boyfriend. He plays for Bristol Rover Reserves." she kept on, not even stopping to catch her breath and Pixie made a mental note not to ever be left alone with her.

"Impressive," said Effy completely unfazed.

"Yeah, he's well lush." Katie bragged "Hey, let's sit together. Let's face it, me you and Pixie are the best looking here. We should hang out." she added and Pixie kept her stern face.

"No, thanks." Katie was confused.

"I prefer more reserved people, you see. More intellect," she said sweetly and innocently looking as lovely as ever someone would think she was an angel on earth at that moment. She smiled cheekily at Katie who stood taken aback for a second as she proceeded to enter the classroom. Smiling Emily, half smirking Effy and Katie whose pride was a little hurt were left alone behind her.

 

 

Chapter Text

。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆

From the playlist:

-Chocolate by The 1975

-I wanna be adored by The Stone Roses

。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆

IT WAS CLEAR THE TEACHER didn't want to be here. His eyes never stayed focused on them, avoiding eye contact at all costs and flicking through a college specification book that was falling apart. "Right" he started maneuvering around. "Um,...Now we've got to..." he was clueless "Christ." He aggressively went through the book finally giving up "Fuck it". Nobody knew what was going on.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. Okay, whatever..." He spoke under his breath "We're all going to stand up, say our names and a unique fact about ourselves" he announced standing up from his seat. "I'll start. Christ. I'm Kieran, and I hate being a fucking teacher."

A blonde girl who sat next to Pixie stiffened a laugh and whispered to her desk mate "It's not that hard to tell" and they laughed together.

"You," Kieran exclaimed pointing at JJ who stood up. It was clear he was very nervous and he spoke reluctantly. "Um, I', JJ and with regard to mathematical aptitude I'm in the top 0.3% of the population which is an interesting demographic statistic because paradoxically my communication, interpersonal and intuitive skills are towards the lower quartile." He finished in one breath.

"Yeah, you've stopped me in my fucking tracks there," commented Kieran from his desk. "You." Katie got on her legs as fast as one could and announced proudly "I'm Katie and I've not had a boyfriend since I was seven."

"Yeah, well good for you. You"

"I'm Emily and I've never had a boyfriend"

"Shit happens. You!"

The blonde girl by Pixie's side stood up. "I'm Naomi. I hate injustice. People tell lies about me." she sat back in the chair and Pixie nudged her "I'm quite curious, to be honest" And Naomi smiled "Sorry to disappoint."

"You, with the bling" Kieran pointed at Effy who stood up "I'm Effy and I think my mum is having an affair" Couple of people stiffened at the comment, and Kieran just added "Good one. Shows. enterprise. You!" He pointed to Pixie.

She stood up nonchalantly "I'm Pixie. I don't want to fucking be here and the last time my dad was sober was a year ago." She sat down completely unfazed earning a couple of questioning glances from both Cook and Freddie.

"I'm quite curious, to be honest, Pixie," said Naomi half-jokingly. The girl just laughed.

"Sorry to disappoint. Maybe one day."

Kieran was eager to move on and pointed at Freddie "what about you, big man?"

"I'm Freddie. I met a girl I like today. She's like... beautiful." he glanced towards the purple-haired girl who returned it, getting lost in his eyes again. As it seemed Kian expected more he finished with "that's it."

"That's it? That's your unique fact? Great. That's great. Fascinating, Freddie. Thank you for that."

"Is he talking about you?" asked Naomi after seeing the look the two of them shared. "Freddie?"

Pixie just shrugged unsure of what to say. Effy and Cook soon went to see the nurse but it was quite obvious what they were actually doing. Freddie kept looking towards the purple-haired girl- her returning the cheeky glances until she handed him a folded paper raising her hand.

"Yes," said Kieran, slightly annoyed at this point.

"May I use the restroom?" she asked and he just shook his head in response as a form of saying yes. Freddie was left behind.

She got out and left around a corner ready to smoke alone. Yes, she asked him, but she didn't expect quite anything, really. He didn't seem like the kind to ditch school on the first day. Pixie rested her head on the wall by her side as she took deep breaths. Bollocks. She lowered her breathing, focused on the movements of her lungs keeping her eyes on the shining light above her.

"Hey." said a familiar voice behind her.

"Freddie!" she jumped up taken aback by his presence clearly not expecting it. "I didn't expect you to come honestly." He looked hurt for a brief moment and swiftly then took her hand in his. "Let's go." he smiled, walking her down the corridor and finally out of the school. "I know a place."

An old abandoned luna park by the river was chilly. Even though it was somewhat sunny, old roller coasters looked absurdly sad. Empty huts that previously used for games with a ball, the ones where you could earn a prize in the shape of stuffed animals, was now covered in dust." It's beautiful here, isn't it?" she said looking at the place with her eyes that she found so soothing. It was truly beautiful. Freddie smiled to himself "Yes, it is. That's why I brought you here."

"Thank you for that." she was mesmerized by the place.

As they walked on Freddie attempted to start a soothing conversation. "So, what brought you to Bristol?"

"I was born here," she said, lighting a cigarette and smoking it in one go. She handed it over to Freddie carefully as if she didn't know if he actually smoked and he took it with no hesitation. They kept walking down the harbor. "My mom left us after I was born. She said she didn't want me anymore. So we moved. "

"Why did you come back?" Freddie asked intrigued

"Money," she answered nonchalantly. "But he doesn't make any money. My dad" Freddie noted it was best not to ask considering this was the first day they have met but he didn't have to. "He's a bit of a fuck-up."

"The thing you said...about him being drunk all the time, is it true?"

She just nodded her head sitting down on the edge of the rail. "He can be a real sweetness sometimes. He's a good guy, just, he lost his only love. It fucked him up." she stated opening up more than she planned on.

Freddie seemed to think for a moment. "Why don't you leave him? Do you have anybody else?"

She darkened for a second "I don't know. I'm not alone though. I have an older brother. Well, step-brother actually. He took care of me, he always does."  She decided to change the subject as it was way too much personal information out on the display "What about you, mister? Tell me about yourself"

Freddie got the message and quickly searched his mind for the basic info about himself. "I have a dad and a sister. My mom passed"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. My sister is auditioning for a place among Sexxbombz" he said sort of embarrassingly and Pixie burst out into laughter. "You're joking?" she said not believing him and he just laughed shortly indicating he is in fact, not joking.

"I wish"

"Oh, my god. How does that look?"

"Horrible." He smiled then turning serious for a second. "She's using our mothers' death for sympathy to win. And dad is supporting her." 

"Oh. I'm so sorry," she said, placing her hand on his back to reassure him.

"Yeah. Me too." his eyes fixated on a boat somewhere in front of them. It was quiet for some time. Nobody spoke, nobody flinched. Peaceful.

"I want to run away" she blurted out of nowhere.

"Where?" he asked eager to keep her talking

"Anywhere, just... away from this place."

"Why"

"People," she said sadly. Freddie didn't know what to say so he just placed his hand on hers. She didn't move, just smiled down at their interviewed fingers. They stayed there for some time, nobody of them knowing just how long. But it was comfortable. They rarely talked but it was just enough. 

Chapter Text

。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆

From the playlist:

-Frail state of mind by the 1975

 

-Reckless serenade by Arctic Monkeys

 

-Graveyard girl by M83

。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆

Pixie's pov :

GOOD FUCKING MORNING to me. The sun is widely shining through the curtains in my room waking me up before I wanted it to. I quickly run down the stairs entering a small kitchen with a view of the living room. My dad is there, passed out drunk on the couch. Of course.

Nial is always in the kitchen the moment I wake up. And just like expected, he was in his morning robe preparing us breakfast. He's always preparing us something to eat. "Morning, Nial," I say still sleepily, coming past him to grab my morning coffee.
"Good morning, sis."

"Has he done it again?" I ask pointing to our dad at what Nial just nods, knowing no further explanation is needed. "How are you feeling, sis?" he turned concerned for a moment. I knew what he was asking about. For a year now or so, I have had terrible nightmares at night. The doctor didn't quite know why they were there but they were. Nial would keep awake the whole night sometimes to make me company, play me songs on his guitar or read me stories.  He has had them too, and at those nights I would take care of him. I just nodded at his worried expression in an attempt to ease him down. It was fine after all. It wasn't as bad. 

"You?" I asked same worry occupying my face at what he smiled and nodded. Liar.

"I'm going to meet the neighbors today. We have been here for almost a week and we still don't know the people living next to us." he limped towards the table and sat down.

Nial was the captain of the basketball team. He had a bright future in university that would provide him education and safety as he was the best on his team. It's not just the fact that he was my brother but he was a truly magnificent basketball player. All until his friend decided to speed up as much as he could despite Nial's attempt at easing him down. His friend was unconscious for a month after the accident and Nial for a week. Afterward, he was never the same. 

"You don't know people living next to us." I correct him. Nial is always meeting new people. He says people infatuate him. He loves spending time in busy places, with many new faces that he remembers so easily. He loves going out, with different sorts of people and loves the rush of getting to know them. He says it gives him energy. Happiness.

He smiled at my comment and proceeded. "Do you want to go with me?" he said. "They said they have cake." he wiggled his eyebrows at me. As I had nothing to do before college, I agreed. We got ready and stood like idiots before the red door waiting for them to open up. I got ready for school right away so I carried my bags in.

A blonde woman opened up the door. "Oh, you must be our new neighbors! So lovely to meet you." said the woman putting her hand upfront for Nial to shake "I'm Anthea." 
"Nial," my brother said shaking her hand and she then proceeded to shake mine. "Pixie," I said.

"Well come on in. This is Jim" she pointed to a man who was passing the hallway to us. They were quite nice, to be honest. Nial carried all the talking which I'm thankful for, while I sat there awkwardly by the table until Anthea turned her attention to me.

"Pixie, you must know our daughter. You go to college together?" 
"Probably," I said not sure of how many people I know from college. And just like on a cue, down the stairs came a girl, softly stepping and making her way towards the table. Her makeup was running and her hair was somewhat messed up. But, it was still impossible for me to not recognize her.

"Oh, Effy," I said bluntly not sure of what my voice sounded like. She turned around eyeing me then giving me a soft smile. "Pixie. I suppose we are neighbors now, aren't we?"
I just nodded.

"You girls can go together to college!" exclaimed Jim looking at her, then me. "How do you get to school, Pixie."
"Oh, I- Uhm, I walk." 
"Well I can drive you, it's on my way to work." he happily stated turning smiling at Effy.

Neither of us looked pleased.

The ride was silent. No-one dared to talk as if the atmosphere was glass and talking would break it into a thousand pieces. Jim was mentally preparing himself for work and I was just waiting to get to college. Something about Effy didn't sit quite right to me and it seemed the feeling was mutual. She rarely talked, and so did I. A strange feeling of being disliked always occurred to me when she was around. 

"Right girls, have a fun day at school," said Jim swiftly turning the car the other way after dropping us off. Effy didn't answer but I smiled and thanked him for the kind ride. It took us some more walking to get to college. It was quite awkward as it was seeable neither of us looked pleased to talk to each other. Without a word, we separated coming to the door of the college. Thankfully, we didn't have our first class together today.

"Hey, pretty fairy," exclaimed Cook coming behind me and putting his hands around my shoulders groping me closer to him.

"What do you want Jamie."

"Oi, stop it, that's not my name," he said, a stern look on his face

"Neither is pretty fairy mine" we looked at each other for a few seconds, deeply before he decided to give up "RIght, Pix. Coming to my birthday party this Saturday?" 

"We've known each other for 2 days" I replied laughing a bit

"So? It's sweet 17 it'll be crazy I promise" a cheekily smiled light up his face. "Freddie will be there" he added my expression turning cold at the mention of him. I took a step back before I answered.

"So what?" 

"Oh, c'mon we both know what. Tell you what just come to the party."

"I'll think about it," I said before marching into the classroom and leaving Cook behind. 

And just like I summoned him, Freddie was sitting in a chair before me. It had seemed I was already late to class as the teacher muttered something about me being a brat under his breath. I just smiled innocently and stormed towards the only empty spot- next to Fred.

"Hi" he smiled keeping his look on the board. He looked especially neat today. His hair flopped on his forehead making his eyes seem more dull and capable of pulling you in. I chuckled turning my attention from him to the teacher

"Hi" I spat humorously. 

"You're late"

"I should be thanking your friend for that" I muttered through my gritted teeth.

"Cook?" I nod. "What has he done?" the whispering between us went back and forth waking up a warm feeling in my heart.

"He invited me to his birthday party" I answered, patting him on the hand as an indicator that I'm trying to keep up with the class and listen to the professor who so desperately talked without anyone listening. His eyes shifted to our hands in touch, lost in the track of his own thoughts. A force stronger than myself didn't let me remove it so we stood there, neither particularly listening to a man before us but lost in our own imagination, our hands still locked to each other. His turning slightly to keep mine in place, fingers trailing so it was more of a hand in hand rather than one on the other.

Naomi prompted down next to me at lunch. She looked tired and I figured it was best not to ask. "This is shit" she spoke quietly not converting her look to me. "Everything is shit."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked feeling she needed a vent

"Rather not," she admitted playing with her food. "How are you?"

I shook my head in unknowingness and kept on eating my fries. It was rather cold, but we didn't have much to choose from. "Are you coming to Cook's birthday party?" she asked out of the blue after minutes of no talking. I nodded in yes but unwillingly. He said it will be crazy might as well give it a shot, right? "Then I'll see you there" she added before restoring out realizing she is already late for a class.

**✿❀ ❀✿**

Soon I was back home. At the entrance, on a small table stood in the corner was a torn apart paper. It looked old, quite old. Stains of alcohol only added to it. 

Going to the place I always called mine. Don't look for me. 

M.S.

I quickly placed the paper in my pocket and went on to my room after finding no sight of Nial. Only dad was there, sitting on the couch we left him this morning. He had a glass of scotch in one hand, a cigarette in another, and was watching television like hypnotized.

"Pixie is that you?" he spoke when he saw my reflection in the mirror. 

Unwillingly I came down the stairs. "Hi, dad. It's good you're awake." he didn't flinch. His eyes never left the television screen, his fingers trailed something on the glass. It looked like he stopped breathing for a moment so I made my way closer to him. A bright envelope stood by his side, I noted, sitting down next to him. He didn't move.

"He's gone too" dad muttered quietly and a few tears were seenable in the corner of his eyes.

My expression turned worried "Who's gone, dad?"

"Your brother."

Chapter Text

。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆

From the playlist:

-Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood

-All the young dudes by David Bowie

。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆

 

Dear Pixie,

 

I know you're probably angry at me and I get it. I wouldn't want to be left alone with dad, either. Do you see the little paper by the entrance? It's mums. I have gone off to maybe find her. I don't know if I will succeed. I just couldn't be in the house anymore. I'm sorry. Don't go looking for me. I'm not planning on coming back. I'm not expecting you to understand, I probably wouldn't either. But you're old enough to take care of yourself. I know you are. I love you, sis. I'm sorry, again.

 

Sincerely,

your Nial.

 

It was all that was left off Nial for her. All his stuff is gone, not that there was much. He left a few basketballs, a few shirts, and a couple of magazines under his bed. Everything was cleared. He left her. All alone. With dad. How could she handle dad? He was crushed after mum left, now Nial...

 

A few tears that escaped from her eyes were soon erased by a flick of her hand and she put the letter and the little paper in her pocket. No risks now. She couldn't deal with this now, after all. She had a party to attend. So she got ready in the blink of an eye and without a goodbye exited the house, making her way to the pub she was to meet for Cook's birthday party.

 

The pub was small, cramped, and sad. It looked partially depressed, with just a few visitors, two guys by the bar where the barman wasn't so keen on staying sober. Walls looked old and stuffed, the atmosphere of smoked cigarettes adding to the feeling of repulsiveness. She met with girls just at the time so they were all in the same moment at the doors. Cook welcomed them with an excited tone of „Hey!Guys!Guys!“, acknowledging Effy with a subtle hey baby and taking her by the head, looking more than drunk already. „I am so happy to introduce you to this legendary night out in celebration of my birthday.“ Ee exclaimed suddenly turning his face serious „Apart from you! What are you doing here?“ he shouted pushing a few boys outside „You burnt my house, man!“

Pixie turned her questioning expression towards Freddie who just shrugged in an apologetic look. „I'm seventeen today so all bets are off. Do what the fuck you like. Flush your mates down the toiled, eat grapes off each other, smash speakers over your heads! If partying is a crime, who's going to get arrested first?“ he finished his speech with a heavily drunk „Let's go fucking mental!“ and chugging down a whole beer, more than half of it ending up on his shit.

„Party people!“ Pixie wasn't sure if he was just drunk, on something, or possibly both. The only person in a true party mood was Cook who jumped around, cheekily smiling his famous laugh and trying to get others to join. Unfortunately, he wasn't met with the same energy from his friends as everyone remained in their place, completely unfazed by his actions.

 

Soon they took hold of one of the tables. Cook took a seat between Freddie and JJ, his hand around JJ's shoulder, insisting on singing 'For he's a jolly good fellow'. „Sit here“ Freddie whispered after all the seats were taken and Pixie was left to stand awkwardly alone. He scooched closer to Cook to get her somewhat enough place to sit in, Cook noticing.

„Just let her sit on your lap, mate, “ he said drunkenly, spreading his legs so Freddie couldn't get much closer to him, shaking him as he did it. „C'mon Pix. Your turn. I just made you both a favor.“ He added harshly shaking Freddie once again. „You have an opportunity. On your place, I would take it.“

 

„Don't feel pressured to-“ Freddie was cut off by the girl who rolled her eyes at his kindness and attempts to ease down the awkward situation. She sat in his lap adding „Took it. Now scooch.“ Turning to Cook who just gave her a cheeky smile moving his head in no.

After more persuading from Cook, his wish for them to sing was coming true. His face lit up in happiness, all of them keeping their monotone voice while singing to the boy. Cook seemed unbothered by it, enjoying the good time, singing along with them, and pecking JJ on the cheek. 

 

„Thanks, man, thank you very much.“ He closed the song. „What's next?“ he looked over to Freddie and Pixie who seemed bored. It was rare for her to get bored, and she hated dead atmospheres. If anything, she was the one to get everyone in a good mood, always. All of them mostly just sat there with resting bitch faces and it drove her mad. She hated people like that, and at this moment she was angry she even appeared.

„Oh, right!“ Cook came to an idea „More drinks, more drinks! More drinks, more drink, more drinks!“ He was soon to disappear as he went over to the bar in an attempt to, in fact, get more drinks.

„He's fun, “ said Katie sarcastically

„You have no idea“ added Freddie, pulling Pixie closer to him subconsciously. His hand slid around her waist, keeping her secure as if he was afraid she would disappear in just a moment. And it made Pixie smile.

JJ chimed in, humorously adding „He's already had half a bottle of vodka“ at what the purple girl laughed but Effy just added harshly „Really? How crazy!“.

 

„Tequila!“ the birthday boy appeared out of nowhere, carrying drinks. „Who's in?“

Freddie nodded „Yeah okay“

„Anyone else? Pretty fairy?“ he turned his gaze to the girl who still sat on his friends' lap, noticing the tight grip Freddie had on her.

„Sure“ she answered quickly.

„Oi, Freddie she's not going anywhere, easy“ he added to his mate, laughing then turning to people around the table. Pandora and Effy agreed and others just nodded. Freddie smiled softly but his hand stood firm around her, not letting her go. The birthday boy looked between his friends adding „Airwolf“

The liquid burnt her throat, even though she only drank one as did everybody else. Everybody else except Cook who watered his mouth with 6 of them, howling a little after each and ending it with a real wolf howl. He was followed by JJ who did the same thing and seemingly uneasy Freddie who clearly didn't want to participate in this. Pixie just turned around smiling at what Freddie shifted in his seat a little „Shut up.“

„Hey Cook, do you wanna see a magic trick?“ JJ asked grabbing a full glass of water.

„Lay it on me, magic man“

 

Soon enough, after JJ revealed the glass that was just a moment ago full of crystal clear water, now there stood a fish, too. Everybody seemed quite impressed until Cook took it amazed and gulped it in one go including the fish. Pandora's face darkened and all the things she ate before were out on display for everyone to see.

„Such a fun party“ Pixie whispered sarcastically to Freddie, feeling uncomfortable on the spot.

„Tell me about it.“ He whispered back putting his head near hers in an attempt to be unheard by others.

Chapter Text

The door of the pub swoon open to reveal a blonde girl entering, making her way to the group. Katie shifted in her seat, looking at her with disgust for a second before turning her gaze towards people who were sat around the table. Pixie wasn't sat on Freddie anymore since they were to move seats, but they were still shoulder to shoulder, a tad closer than normal. The red-haired girl made an unsatisfied face and arrogantly proceeded: „Oh, great. Here comes the lesbian to gay us up.“ No-one flinched, not much of them cared. Emily froze after silencing Katie but Cook was the one who heard what her sister said and placed a mischievous laugh on his face.

Naomi quietly came closer, plopping down next to Pixie. She politely greeted everyone and got the same response until Cook came closer, leaning over the table speaking to her. „Want to know a secret?“

„What?“ Naomi uncomfortably laughed it off.

„I know the cure“

„For what?“

Cook's face lit up in amusement as he signaled to his pants „It's my cock.“

No one laughed except Cook and Katie which was expected. 

 

In an attempt to ease the tension, Emily remembered her birthday present. She leaned back seconds later revealing a beautiful cake she made, that probably took her way too much time. Cook was surprised and happy as ever. „Cheers girl!“ He stared at it for some time, slapping off his friend's hand after JJ tried to get a taste then went on to eat the entire cake with his bare hands in just a few moments. 

„You okay?“ asked JJ seeming somewhat concerned.

„Yeah, totally cool“ Cook rubbed his stomach with his palms „Just a bit you know, full.“

Freddie chimed in „Can't believe you ate the whole thing.“

„Well somebody had to get this party started“

 

That's when Katie decided to step in furious „Party? You call this a party? Where's the conversation, where's the dancing, where are the men?“

„We're men“ defended Cook but was corrected by Katie

„You're boys.“

„Do you wanna measure my dick? It's daddy sized.“ The red-haired just rolled her eyes.

 

„So what you all think this party's shit?“ Cook asked everybody, all of them trying to find the best way to tell him that it is, actually, shit. „It's shit“ added Effy, everybody nodding in agreement.

 

Cook looked around for a moment contemplating what to do with himself. His eyes landed on Pixie for a brief moment before he stormed out of the pub, still banging his head over what to do to get this party started. Behind him was left a cold trace of disappointment, an empty atmosphere of awkwardness. Pixie felt it was her job to do something after noticing no-one wants to or at least doesn't know how to help. So she got up and went after Cook, soon finding him leaned against the wall outside of the shit hole. He was looking down on his feet, pressing his cigarette to his chapped lips. „I'm sorry.“

He was surprised she was here. „For what, “ he said covering his emotions of sadness. 

 

„For everyone being so dead all the time. Nobody's even tried talking with another person. I'm sorry your party's shit. I'm sorry in general.“

He looked at her for a second before sighing deeply and standing tall. „Thanks, Pix but we gotta get this party started.“ And just on a cue, Freddie stormed out, speaking to somebody on the phone. 

 

„No, Karen I don't have any drugs, I'm sorry“ his black hair fell perfectly, his fingers trailing it up and down, now making it a mess. „What? I can't hear you. No! I don't have any drugs! Bye.“

 

He ended the call frustrated, looking right ahead for some moments before turning around to face his friends. Cook stood up straight, empowered by the sudden idea that occurred to him. „Who was that?“ he asked firstly, trying to hide his eagerness to show everyone what he was thinking of. Just like he was expecting, he got the answer he needed.

 

„Karen. My sister“

 

„Why couldn't you hear her?“

 

„She's at some engagement party her mate Kayleigh's getting hitched“

 

Cook's mischievous grin escaped his lips, trailing off in a river of ideas that radiated trouble. Freddies' face looked confused temporary, slightly parting his lips in unclearness of his friend's desires. „Oh, god, he wants to go to the party, Freddie“ Pixie chimed in, hinting to the tanned boy, exposing Cook's plans.

 

The face of the tallboy fell, his smile faded and his eyes shimmered slightly less, terrified of what may come next. „No, no! We're not going! No! No“ he repeated. And just as he feared, there wasn't anything he could do. Cook had already had a plan set in his mind to come true. He has drugs, after all.

 

Arriving at a small harbor, the group looked less and less impressed by the idea of invading a party. An engagement party, even. Cook, on the other hand, jumped around leading them to their final goal. He was soon stopped by a large guard. 

„Not coming in, “ he says keeping his stern look fixated on Cook

„Why not?“

„Private party. Plus underage. Plus don't like the look of you. Not coming in.“

„Listen to me, robot, you may rank above me in the terms of strength and size but at least I can love.“ He says confidently. 

 

„What the fuck is he on about?“ Pixie whispered to Emily who was by her side, two girls engaging in a small conversation with only glances, both settling on the fact their mate is an idiot. 

 

„Now can you let me in?“ said Cook attempting to come through once again, but is stopped by the large guard a second time. 

 

„Not coming in.“

 

„Listen, fate has brought me here. Do you understand? You're not letting fate in the club. It's not like fate is wearing trainers, fate just wants a couple of drinks, a little dance. And fate is also desperate for the toilet. Now can we come in?“

 

Few other glances were drawn back and forth between two girls who were ready just to go home at this point, and forget all about a party. 

„How about you fuck off?“ replied the guard unimpressed by Cook's speech about fate. But, Cook was clearly on the verge of bursting.

 

„How about you're fucking cock? I'll fucking break your fucking face, mate“

 

Pixie stepped closer to Freddie. „Why the fuck is he doing this?“ she asked slightly worried for her friends' safety at the moment. Hardly she ever thought of considering Cook her friend but there she was. How things could quickly change. How people can change. In one moment, they are by your side and in the next, they are gone with only a hollow sound of the wing. Leaving you contemplating in your feelings by yourself, self-doubt, the feeling you had it coming for you were never good enough for them to stay. And it's shit because you can't get rid of the feeling. It gropes you, it takes over your heart, and it clings deeply burning like a scar caused by the memory of an ex-lover after a bad break-up.

And you just feel it.

 

Freddie shook his hand before her face. „Pixie!“ he said somewhat loudly, bringing her back to reality. He took her by the hand, leading her away from the entrance. „You got lost for a second there.“

 

„Oh“ she muttered, slowly sinking back into the reality of presence „Right, sorry.“

 

„I don't think he's going to let us in“ informed Naomi

 

„Nah, he's just an obstacle. We're meant to go to this party“ Cook went on. „Fate will sort it, just wait.“

 

Two girls in fancy dresses approached, each carrying a glass of champagne. The one in the pink dress, looked somewhat furious, her hair falling perfectly on her front and back and the other one in the yellow dress looked more curious than anything. 

„Freddie? What the fuck are you doing here?“ the one in the pink said, burning holes in Freddie's skull.

„HI, Karen.“ He answered, keeping in place. Cook smiled proudly, standing up and coming closer to Karen and her friend, who Pixie supposed was Kayleigh, the one getting married.

 

„You can't come in, it's private.“ Karen added, not paying any attention to Cook but rather talking to her brother only. 

 

„Don't be like that, sis. It's Cook's birthday.“

 

„Unless you've got drugs, fuck off, and take your friends with you.“

 

Cook's smile faded and he suddenly turned in a whiney baby „Oh, come on Karen, I'll make it up to you, I promise.“ Putting his arms around her shoulders, he made a humorous act with his tongue, receiving only a push away from Karen.

 

„Yeah look it's not my decision, it's her party“ she showed to the girl by her side, the one in the yellow dress.

 

She held out her hand, to give a better look at her hand, where a ring sat still on her finger. „I'm getting married.“

 

„Congratulations.“ Said Cook unimpressed before he pulled her in for a passionate kiss on the lips. „Will you let us in?“

 

„Well, there is a pretty strict dress code...“

 

Finding herself surrounded by fancy dresses, cocktails, and people talking quietly in pairs, Pixie knew they were in the wrong place. The bar seemed to hold only a few fancy and expensive drinks and the atmosphere was close to being dead, seeming it was more of a laid-back-formal-party. She wasn't the only one who looked unimpressed by the so-called party. The only person who stayed unaffected by the outcome was Cook.

 

„When she said party... Freddie started

 

„You thought she meant an acid-fuelled sex rave without the Mancunians“ added Katie

 

„This is more...“ JJ sighed, looking for words to describe this dead place

 

„Jelly and ice cream“ Effy exclaimed.

 

An angry man dressed in a white transit came closer to Cook, and just by the look of himself sent shivers down Pixie's spine. She crawled up closer to Freddie, him taking her hand in his and keeping her close. She could sense something was about to go bad this evening. 

 

„So, who's for the narcotics?“ a few of them answered, all of them expected except Pandora who seemed reluctant. She surprised everyone, after all. All of them left for the bathroom, leaving Freddie and Pixie by the bar.

„You won't take anything?“ asked Pixie, sipping champagne she took from the man walking around the place. 

„What?“ 

„Drugs.“

„Oh, no.“ Exclaimed Freddie leaning on the counter „I don't feel like taking anything. You're not taking anything?“ he mimicked her

„I don't need them.“

„Really? Because this party seems pretty shit“ Freddie whispered closer to her ear.

„Watch me.“

 

Upbeat music soon started playing, and Pixie was fast to find a spot for herself on the dance floor. She swung, not caring about anything, feeling the music. Her hair danced around her head each time she spun around, dancing and forgetting about all the problems. She danced to forget everything, to be in the moment. A moment where nothing matters, where everything is perfect, where there is no yesterday or tomorrow. Her hips made a euphoric rhythm intoxicating to her surroundings. She danced seductively, feeling herself, feeling like everything but herself for a slight moment. And she felt his eyes on her.

 

Freddie stood mesmerized like the first day he met her. She danced so gracefully, so beautifully, so perfect. He couldn't take his eyes off her. And he was swoon over her again, fooling himself into thinking he ever stopped. „Come dance with me“ she took his hand in his, leading him to the dancefloor. He had no other thought but to oblige completely, letting himself to her. 

 

Pixie wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling his hands slide around her waits locking on her back. He pulled her closer somewhat hesitantly, but she already shut the distance between them. They were close, where you couldn't get much closer, looking deeply in each other's eyes, getting completely lost, not saying anything. It was perfect, Pixie thought. Time stopped, and it was just them dancing together, bodies pressed so tight. 

 

Nobody knows how long they danced like this, others were long back from the bathroom. Pandora looked swept, and Effy and Katie were enjoying themselves. „What's up with her?“ Pixie asked Katie, a concerned look plastered over her face. „She took all the drugs.“ Katie laughed off.

 

Cook was seeming to have a serious conversation with JJ and Freddie. Looking around herself, pulled back in the reality, Pixie needed some fresh air. This is so fucked up. This shouldn't be happening. Neither of these shouldn't be happening.

 

Her fingers swept across the paper she kept in her pocket. Mum. Mum left it. And now Nial is gone too, off to find her. Why couldn't he take her with him? Why did he leave her with dad? Why did he decide to leave her, too? It's all fucked up. A tear argued to fall down her face but she was fast to wipe it off. Fresh air hit against her lungs in a way it never did before, leaving her to breathe deeply for more time. Just as she entered the party again, she noticed Cook making his way directly to the stage and a strong feeling occurred that something is not right. 

 

„What is he doing?“ she asked running up to the group. „Is he going to sing?“ 

Freddie nodded taking a hold of his head „Yes, he is.“ Neither of them was pleased with this idea. 

 

„Freddie, look! “ she shook the boy's hand, noticing a quite angry Johnny White, fuming with rage, looking strictly at Cook. And just like they feared, he was off to destroy Cook. The chair upon their friend was standing was swiftly moved by the leg of the gangster, the boy falling to the ground and hit on the head with a bottle.

 

Pixie could so less but to stay put and let Freddie alone to take care of Cook. They talked for some time, Cook earning a couple of painful hits in the guts. And then, just after Johnny White looked pleased enough to stop and back off, a limp body was thrown off the balcony, landing on two people. „Cook!“ she shouted out of fear for her friend. 

 

It was disgusting. The food fight that erupted caused her stomach to do backflips but Pixie decided to run into there and make sure Cook is alright. She stepped closer finding him on the floor covered in cake and blood smeared under his nose. Sliding down beside him, taking him in her arms so he stabilizes to sit. „Are you okay?“her voice sounded concerned and shook. He just cheekily smiled „You care about me pretty fairy“ he yawned, closing his eyes every so now and then. Noticing a fight he caused his laugh was uncontainable even Pixie laughed a little.

 

„Come on, let's get out of here.“ She said and was taken by the hand, both of them running after the gang outside. They ran until their legs hurt, finally settling to catch their breath.

 

„Ok, that's fair enough“ Cook whimpered out of breath, finally letting go of Pixies hand.

 

„You're fucking unbelievable“ Freddie joked but Pixie picked up on the hint of seriousness from his voice. 

„I tried to get laid, man“ Cook wiped is the nose of the blood

„You're always trying to get laid!“

„Hey, I try, I succeed, right?“ Cook placed a cigar in his mouth and kept on „Speaking of which, any of you girls fancy it?“

 

Katie laughed out loud like she just heard the best joke ever „No, thanks. You're repulsive.“

„Weird girl.“

„You're beautiful but no“ Pandora swung around still bamboozled by the drugs she took „My tuppence feels all funny“

Cook was undisturbed, placing a hand on the wall Effy was leaning on, coming closer to her. „How about it then, peachy?“

 

She smiled softly, looking around, catching a glimpse of Freddie's eyes, keeping them locked for some time. She just turned around, taking a hold of Pandora „Come on, Amy Winehouse. Home“ Katie said goodbye too, all 3 of them leaving together but Pixie was stopped by Cook. 

 

„What do you say, pretty fairy. It's just me and you.“ He said taking her hand in his and spinning her around. She smiled honestly, bringing her finger up to wipe some blood that was on his cheek. „I don't think so.“

 

In a matter of seconds, she was on her way home. Walking alone home wasn't most comfortable, she had to admit. The dark allies made her sick but what could she do? She had to get home to dad. Only dad.

„Hey, Pix! Wait up!“ she heard a familiar voice behind her, already smiling wide. Freddie. He came up behind her, catching her step. 

„I didn't think you were gonna go home.“

„I'm tired.“

„Of what?“ 

„Cook.“

Pixie remained quiet for some time before speaking „You're always bailing him out?“

He nodded „I'm tired of it. I'm just concerned for JJ.“

„That's understandable. I am too, honestly and I don't know Cook that well.“ She laughed.

 

„Thank you for walking me home.“ she said quietly in front of the door to her house. He nodded, thinking of whether to say anything. Should he kiss her? Should he hug her? „Of course“ he whispered back, taking a step back to not make her uncomfortable and waving the last goodbye.

 

This girl was something else.

 

 

Chapter Text

Pixie steps out of the front door to the house she now shared only with her father. He wasn't there when she woke up. No, he was already in the pub drowning away his tears in a gallon of beer and other opiates he dearly loved. He wasn't an old man, not at all. In fact, Pixie believed he could still find another love if he were to try. He was still in love with mom, it was obvious. But she left them. She didn't want them. And from then he was deadly lost. 

Now with Nial gone too, his whole life crumbled, and all he was left was her; she knew it. Yet she couldn’t help hating the thought of being alone with him, being all he has got and him being everything she has in life. Only him.

 

The rubbish was dreadfully heavy as she carried it to the bin outside of her place. With one eye she scanned the house of the Stonems. It looked peaceful. By the window stood Jim, working on something that seemed quite important and she thought she had seen a silhouette of Anthea by the window in their bedroom. She looked somewhat concerned. There was no shouting, no dads spread on the sofa for they were black-out drunk, and there were no runaway brothers and mothers who abandoned their families. It looked perfect. 

 

Going to the place I always called mine. Don't look for me.  

M.S.

 

She read on the cut-out paper Nial left for her to find. She had those words scarred in her memory like a virus she couldn't get rid of. Yet, she spent her time re-reading it all over again, anytime she would get the chance. It erupted a waterfall of emotions in her but it was always the anger that would win the battle. A few tears that were placed upon the edge of her eyes, ready to fall down her fresh makeup, and turn her beautiful face into a crying mess were stopped as she breathed in the air. “Fuck you, mom. “ She whispered chugging the paper in her pocket as she heard someone coming out of the house next to her. 

 

“Oh, Whizzer! Look, Effie, it's Pixie! “A smiley blonde girl nudged her friend who was already smoking a cigarette. She didn't even flinch as she turned towards Pixie who desperately tried to fight back her tears. „Effy and I were just about to go out“

 

“Oh, Whizzer! Look Effy, it’s Pixie!” she said taking a hold of herself. 

 

The girl jumped from excitement as she kept on talking and babbling, clearly the only one interested in engaging in a conversation. “We are going to pick up” she exclaimed already going somewhere else with her story.

“Pick up? “

“Yes! Effy what are we picking up? “She turned to her friend who casually smoked a cigarette perfectly keeping her distance from the dialog. “Drugs, “she said, her voice monotone.

 

“Right, drugs! “ Pandora was full of energy “Do you want to go with us? “

“She doesn't do drugs, “Effy said never once looking at her while talking “you're a good girl aren't you?“ She said finally taking a grasp of her lingering eyes. 

 

Effy was somewhat right, Pixie thought. She didn't do drugs, she didn't really need them. She did try them a couple of times at the parties and decided she wasn't a fan of MDMA. But spliff? God, she loved spliff. Already shaken by thinking about Nial and mom, she was erupting a mess of emotions as Effy kept staring at her waiting for a response. But, Pixie knew one thing and that was to always keep a stern face. A smirk lit up on her lips traveling smoothly to Effy. 

 

“You would be surprised. “ Effy didn't seem to care at all. She was untouched, unbothered by her answer, and just proceeded to smoke her cigarette, walking out in front of the two girls, indicating them to follow her. 

 

An ally where they chimed in to pick up the drugs was dusty and cold. It felt strange, unusual, and sad. Its shimmering light covered so very little of the place. The moisture crept under one's skin, followed by a feeling of emptiness that covered an entire being in a split second, leaving behind a person covered in sweat and tears. A couple of old empty wooden baskets were spread on the floor in a corner, now only being a home for the rats.

 

“Who are we waiting for?” asked Pixie feeling her breath hitch and her palms sweat. She didn’t like the feeling she got from this place. 

 

“A friend.” Answered Effy, a girl of many words usually. 

 

“He’s super cute, Pixie. You’ll see” said Pandora. “I think he might surf and turf with me.” 

 

In no more than a few minutes, a boy jumped in front of them. He was quite tall and looked as if he was about 19. A couple of blonde strands of hair fell in front of his eyes that were glistering blue. At first, he looked nice, Pixie noted. His short was shaggy, falling down his torso ever so smoothly, making him look way cooler than an average person looks. A half-smoked cigarette fell from his lips. Two fingers with some rings on them traveled to his mouth, taking the nicotine from it. His voice was deep but smooth as he talked to Effy.

 

“There you go.” They exchanged the goods and money when he looked around landing his eyes on Pixie “Who’s that?”

 

“I’m Pixie. Hi.” She smiled sweetly and he smiled back 

 

“Hi, Pixie. I’m Matt.” He smiled mischievously, sticking his hand in front. He seemed charming. But something behind that smile of his made Pixie shiver. It made her stop and look deeper into his eyes. No, there was definitely something buried deep behind the piercing blue curtains. Something Pixie was sure she didn’t want to see. 

 

“Who was that guy,” Pixie asked mainly Effy as the three girls sat at the bus station. She stood in between the two of them, Effy smoking a cigarette and Pandora doing whatever Pandora does. Cigarette smoke filled the air as a cold breeze swept through her hair.

“An old friend,” Effy answered

 

“Wow! You’ve got a whack a lot of doughnuts!” exclaimed Panda to somebody by her side

“Yes, of course, I have too many” he proposed, letting her take one doughnut for herself. Pixie politely rejected and Effy nonchalantly said “No, thanks”

 

Pandora and the boy who was named Thomas engaged in small talk until Pandora once again threw up. Great, Pixie thought but Thomas was swift to lend a helping hand so he took Panda over his shoulder and they walked back to Effy’s house. With a bugging feeling her dad is either not home yet or is home and drinking or shouting Pixie wasn’t so keen on going back home. So she didn’t. 

 

Effy’s house was empty. It was quiet and peaceful. Effy walked them upstairs signaling Thomas to put Pandora down on a chair. In an ocean of quiet, they were struck by some muffled sounds. It sounded like panting, like heavy breathing, like… two people having sex….

Effy slowly walked towards the door “Mum?” 

She didn’t turn to look at them at all, it didn’t matter at that moment. 

“Mum?”

 

Behind the doors stood Anthea wrapped in a blanket and a strange guy by her side aggressively putting on his shirt and buttoning it up. Pixie didn’t know who he was, all she knew was that the man certainly wasn’t Jim she met just some time ago. Everybody knew what was going on. Effy wasn’t to be fooled, neither was Pixie… Thomas just didn’t know the whole story. Seeing Effy crumble in front of her was terrifying to Pixie. Despite feeling a shit ton of hatred towards the girl up till now, it didn’t matter at that moment. She was crying. And it was enough for Pixie to forget about all their mutual unlikeness and run after her, following Effy to her room. 

 

Effy was sitting at the edge of her bed. She was crouched down, her legs up to her chest. It seemed she wasn’t able to breathe properly from crying. 

“Effy…” Pixie stated unsure how to help the girl who was falling apart in front of her eyes

“Go away” Effy answered quickly, yelling with a lump in her throat from tears. 

Pixie was standing by the door. She was quite unsure how to play this out now. 

She stepped closer, keeping her steps light, warm. “I’m sorry”

 

Effy stood up, red in the face, her eyes burning from the liquid. She came closer to the purple-haired girl shoving her out. “Leave me alone” she yelled for the last time before shutting the door in her face. 

 

“What happened?” asked Thomas sweetly

Pixie stood for a second “To be completely sure, I don’t know.”

 

“C’mon let’s go, Thomas” she exclaimed after a few moments of blankly staring at the shut door. The two left the house, Pixie giving Anthea an unpleasant look for the last time before leaving the Stonems house behind her. 

 

But, their house should be peaceful…right?