Break ups were supposed to be hard. They were supposed to be sad and messy filled with tears (of anger and sadness) and heartbreak. At least that’s what Beca always thought they were. Or at least what previous experiences had led her to believe from both her own (one time experience) and other people’s experience (her parents’ very messy divorce).
So when she and Jesse break up, she waits for that heartbreak but it never comes.
It happens when they’re watching a movie, a romcom no less, and Beca will look back at that hilarious irony one day. They’re sitting on the couch of Jesse’s small apartment he shared with Benji with a whole cushion between them. Beca’s not really paying attention at all but chooses to stare at her phone and smile at the ridiculous animal memes Chloe has been texting her all night. She thinks she hears Jesse sigh at one point.
“Beca, this isn’t working.” Jesse says.
Beca looks up from her phone to the television screen where Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey were singing Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” inexplicably.
“Oh yeah, that definitely isn’t working,” Beca replies, indicating the very strange scene currently playing. What was this movie even about?
Jesse furrows his eyebrows in a confused manner. “What? No, not the movie.” He picks up the remote and pauses it. He puts the bowl of popcorn that was in his lap on the coffee table and turns so he faces Beca completely. She notices bits of kernel fall off his shirt and onto the couch. He makes no attempt to clean it up and Beca scrunches her nose. She really hates how messy boys are.
“I meant us,” he continues.
Beca twitches and she thinks she makes a face. “Oh.” She sits up and turns to face him as well. “Um, do you want to break up?”
Jesse just shrugs. “I guess, I mean, I felt like we haven’t been together for a while.”
Beca runs her hand through her hair. “You’re right,” she agrees and then gets up. “Okay, I guess I’ll go then.” She grabs her purse and heads to the door. It doesn’t escape her that the entire situation wasn’t affecting her the way it should. She felt like she was just having a normal conversation with someone and not breaking up with her boyfriend of almost 4 years.
“I’ll see you around?” Jesse says while he watches her exit.
Beca just gives him a smile. “Yeah, I’ll see you around.” And with that, Beca leaves and heads back home.
The walk to the Bellas house is pretty short and the chilly fall air feels good against Beca’s face. Her mind is pretty much blank as she tries to replay what just happened. She just broke up with Jesse. Or did Jesse break up with her? She wasn’t even sure about that detail. All Beca knew was she felt weird. Not sad or angry or empty. Just weird. But also maybe a little relieved. Beca doesn’t know what kind of person that makes her.
Beca used to blame her inability to keep relationships of both the romantic and platonic on genetics. Nobody in her family had a marriage that lasted. Her parents, her aunts and uncles, and even her few cousins have all been divorced. It was just bound to happen to her at one point. Beca was just really glad that it never led to marriage to get to that inevitable divorce.
Some of the girls were watching their own movie when Beca comes home and everyone questions her the second she walks in the door..
“I thought you were spending the night at Jesse’s?” Stacie asks from her space on the living room floor. There were various pillows and blankets all around.
“Change of plans.” She knows that wouldn’t satisfy their very annoying curiosity and need to know everything about her love life. Beca looks around the room. “Where’s Chloe?”
“Up in her room, her sister FaceTimed her,” Cynthia Rose says.
Beca sees Amy about to say something so she quickly turns around and heads upstairs. She’s about to go to her room but her feet take her to a different direction. She stops in front of Chloe’s ajar door and hears Chloe’s happy voice filter through as she talks with her sister. She pushes the door and peeks her head through a little.
Chloe’s sitting in her bed with her phone in front of her and earbuds in. She’s laughing at whatever is being said and looks up when she notices Beca and holds her finger up
“Lexie, I gotta go but congrats on the promotion again! So proud of you!”
Beca smiles as she waits patiently to finish up her call.
“Okay talk to you later.” Chloe ends the call and takes off her earbuds. She smiles widely at Beca. “Hey you, I thought you were spending the night at Jesse’s?”
Beca sighs and makes her way to Chloe’s bed. She takes off her shoes and climbs in next to her. An almost nightly routine for them these days.
“We broke up instead.” She says it so nonchalantly that Chloe’s eyes widen in a comical way. Beca almost laughs.
“What? Oh my god, Beca, are you okay?” She reaches out and puts a comforting hand on Beca’s shoulder and squeezes. Beca enjoys the weight of it.
“I am actually.” She sighs again and turns to look at Chloe. “Like weirdly so, I’m not sad about it. It was coming for a while.”
Chloe bites her lip and nods. “Still, you guys were together for a while, if you want to talk about it, I’m here.” She offers Beca a small smile and caring eyes and Beca feels warm.
“I don’t really.” She glances at Chloe’s concerned look. She doesn’t look convinced at Beca’s words. “Really, I’m okay.” She reaches out and puts her hand over Chloe’s on her shoulder. “Can I sleep here tonight? Really don’t want to deal with Amy’s questions.”
Chloe’s smile makes her eyes crinkle. “Of course!”
They both settle for the night and Beca steals some of Chloe’s sleep clothes, choosing not to get her own from her room. The least amount of chances to run into the other girls the better. She knows she’ll be grilled about Jesse. She knows Chloe wants to ask more but thankfully respects Beca’s wishes. They ended up watching reruns of Friends on Chloe’s laptop before falling asleep.
Beca wakes up with Chloe curled up to her side and face in her neck. She thinks back on how she shared a bed more times with Chloe the past few years than she had with Jesse.
It was a few weeks after Beca and Jesse break up and the rest of the girls treat her like she’s a porcelain doll about to break. It didn’t matter how many times she tells them that she’s fine and that it was a long time coming, Beca couldn’t get them to leave her alone. Especially since it seems like Jesse was already moving on. She saw him with some blonde girl a few days ago walking to class. That did bug Beca a little bit. Not because she was jealous but because of how quickly he found someone new. It was a bit insulting.
“You’ve got a package, Beca,” Amy says, putting down a medium sized box in front of her.
Beca and a few of the other girls were having a little study session on the kitchen island and everyone looks at the package. Beca frowns when she looks at the generic return label to some shipping warehouse.
“Ohh, whatcha order?” Flo asks curiously.
“I didn’t order anything,” Beca says and picks up the box. It was a little heavy and it seems like whatever the contents were took up the entire box. She grabs a pair of scissors and cuts open the tape.
“What the hell is that?” Amy asks trying to look in the box. “Did you order a new vibrator?”
Beca glares at her. “Dude, shut up.” She takes out the contents which was another box. A large box of her favorite granola/energy bars. Which was perfect timing since someone seemed to have eaten her last one. It was her go to ‘don’t have time to eat a normal breakfast’ food. It usually satiated her hunger and provided her a good boost. “Huh?”
“You ordered granola bars? Too lazy to go to the store?” Amy was really annoying sometimes.
“I didn’t order these,” Beca clarifies and looks in the box again. There was a packing slip and another slip of paper with a typed note.
Figured you could use some energy. You must be tired from running through my mind all the time. ;)
Beca had barely finished reading it when Amy snatches the paper from her. “Dude!”
“Awww, seems like our little big BM has a secret admirer!” She shakes the piece of paper around to the sound ooohs from the rest of the girls. Beca reaches over to grab it back.
“Who the hell is sending me granola bars?” She rereads the message again trying to figure it out. Other than the cheesy pick up line, there was no clue as who the sender could be.
“Ooh whatcha get?” Chloe asks when walks into the kitchen and sees the open box. “Granola bars?”
Beca holds up the note to her. “I have a secret admirer apparently.”
Chloe reads the note. “Oh my god, that’s so cute!”
Beca raises her eyebrow. “Or creepy.” She takes the note back and puts it back in the box. “What if they’re poisoned or something?”
Chloe laughs and opens the box and takes out a bar. She rips the packaging open and takes a bite. “I think they’re fine, Bec.”
Beca is still a little skeptical but takes the box to her room and tries to think of who could be the sender. Besides the Bellas, Beca hardly interacts with anyone else. There was Jesse and by association Benji but she highly doubts any of them would be sending her gifts. The only thing she could think of was the random people she had classes with. She always had that granola in her bag so it wouldn’t be hard to deduce she liked that brand.
Now Beca thinks some weird guy in her class she had one interaction with is sending her things. She really needs to stop watching crime dramas.
The second package comes a week later. Beca and Chloe are doing homework on the couch in the living room which was thankfully devoid of other Bellas. She has her feet on Chloe’s lap while Chloe unconsciously rubs her thumb against her ankle when a small box lands on her stomach, startling them both.
“Another package for you!” Amy announces unnecessarily. Both Beca and Chloe glare at her for interrupting their work time but Amy just sits in the loveseat across from them and waits. “Are you going to open it?”
Beca grabs the box and notices that it’s incredibly light (which is probably why Amy had no problem chucking it at her). The return address this time says it’s from CVS Pharmacy which really confuses her.
“What the hell?” She turns the box to show Chloe who just shrugs. She hands Beca her ballpoint pen to cut through the tape and opens the flap. “Oh my god, what even?” Beca laughs as she pulls out a box of bandaids.
“Hello Kitty bandaids!” Chloe says enthusiastically and holds her hand out to take them. “These are so cute!”
Beca shakes her head and looks into the box to find another slip of paper with a typed note.
In case you got any cuts or bruises from falling from heaven. ;)
“Your stalker is a weirdo,” Amy says and gets up. “Where’s the lock of hair or printed dick pics? BORING!”
“Gross,” Beca says and rereads the note again. It was stupid but it made her laugh. “I wonder who’s sending me these.”
Chloe tilts her head at her and starts rubbing Beca’s ankle again. “You don’t know anyone who could have a crush on you?”.
Beca shrugs and puts the note and bandaids back in the box. “No, I mean, no one who would send these. Should I be worried it’s from a deranged psycho?”
Chloe just smiles at her and taps her leg indicating she wants to get up. Beca lifts legs and Chloe stands up. “I think if you start receiving body parts or stalker pics, I think granola bars and bandaids aren’t going to kill you. And plus the accompanying notes are super sweet.”
“Super cheesy, more like it,” Beca laughs.
“But they made you laugh?” Chloe looks down at her and she can’t quite figure out her expression.
“I mean, I guess yeah.” Beca squints up at her.
Chloe just hums. “I’m gonna ask the girls what they want for dinner, any requests?”
“Chinese but whatever the others want is fine.” Beca takes the note and puts in on her dresser on top of the first one. She makes sure the paper isn’t crinkled.
“I hate everything.” Beca mumbles to herself and rubs her temples. Her head was killing her and her neck and shoulders were tense. The last couple of weeks have been hell. Her classes were piling on an insane amount of work, her attempts at getting a job were going nowhere, and the setlist for the Bellas’ next performances were nowhere near finished.
Chloe has been pretty much captaining the Bellas by herself working with choreography and costumes and getting venues. But there was also much Chloe could do without an arrangement. Beca felt guilty leaving Chloe and the rest of the girls to fend for themselves. She barely participated at rehearsals and she can tell they were getting impatient with her.
Beca turns around from her computer where she was attempting to work on a setlist and sees Chloe standing by her door. Everyone has been kind of leaving her alone lately with how stressed she’s been.
“Yeah, sorry, Chloe, I’m-,”
“No, don’t worry about that right now,” Chloe cuts her off before she can go into a long winded apology. “I just wanted to check on you and give you this.” She hands Beca another small package. “Seems like you have another gift.”
Beca has beens so stressed lately that she almost forgot about her secret admirer. Not that she was any closer to figuring that little mystery out either. Beca takes the small box from Chloe and looks at the return label. It was some toy company this time around and she grimaces.
“Um, is this from a regular toy company or?”
Chloe bursts out laughing and pushes the box further into her hands. “Well, let’s open it and find out!”
Beca braces herself as she cuts through the tape but breathes a sigh of relief when she sees what looks like an actual toy of the innocuous kind in there. Actually it was a toy shaped like a pickle with a smiley face on it.
“Okay?” But she laughs anyway especially with the way Chloe’s giggling. “Oh it’s like a stress ball!” Beca squeezes the pickle and bursts out laughing again when the eyes on the pickle pop out. “Oh my god, this is fucking hilarious.” She tosses the pickle to Chloe as she looks in the box for the note.
Don’t stress out too much! You’re kind of a big dill! ;)
She lets Chloe read it next. “It seems like your admirer knew how stressed you’ve been.” She gives Beca a warm smile.
Beca is still laughing at the pickle shaped stress ball as she rereads the note. “I really wish I knew it was so I can thank them for making my day a little less shitty.”
Chloe gets up and gets behind Beca’s chair and starts giving her a little neck massage. “I think they know.”
Beca doesn’t mean to let out a quiet moan but what Chloe’s fingers were doing felt like heaven. If Chloe heard her, she definitely didn’t let on. She closes her eyes as Chloe continues to massage the knots in her neck and shoulders.
“Yeah?” Beca tries to keep her voice steady while Chloe continues to rub the sorest spots of her body.
“I think they want to make you laugh and feel special,” Chloe says quietly as she moves her thumbs lower to Beca’s upper back. She jumps a little when Chloe rubs at a particularly tender spot.
Beca opens her eyes. “You think it’s someone I know?”
Chloe’s hands still for half a second before continuing. “Do they seem like someone you’d know?”
Beca swallows. The gifts with the cheesy and punny notes seemed very familiar to her. Almost like inside jokes she’d share with friends. Her best friend .
Beca reaches up to stop Chloe’s hands and looks up at her. “Chlo-”
“There you bitches are!” Amy exclaims bursting into the room. “How the hell are we supposed to have Bellas rehearsal when both captains are MIA?”
Beca and Chloe both look at their watches at the same time. “Oh shit, sorry Amy, we’ll be right there.”
“Keep it in your pants for one day,” Amy mumbles before leaving.
“Guess we should go,” Chloe says and heads out to follow Amy.
“Chlo, wait,” Beca reaches out and grabs Chloe’s wrist. Chloe looks at her expectantly. “Thanks for uh,” Beca gestures vaguely at her neck and shoulders.
Chloe smiles and tosses her the stress ball. “No problem, you are kind of a big dill.” She winks at her before leaving.
Beca just stares at the stress ball trying to figure why her heart was beating so fast. “Oh boy, are we in a pickle.” She shakes her head and tosses the toy on her desk. Beca makes sure the note joins the others on her dresser.
Just kidding, it's going to be 3 parts! There's going to be one more short chapter after this. Sorry for the delay. Been ridiculously tired after work recently and been super stressed about my sick doggo.
Hoping you enjoy this chapter!
Jesse and blonde girl make it Facebook official and Beca can’t control her face when she checks her phone. She’s hardly ever even on Facebook anymore and only checked because it gave her a notification that ‘Jesse Swanson posted an update’ for some strange reason. Curiosity gets the best of her and she clicks. Beca deletes the app off her phone shortly after.
Beca tries not to care. She doesn’t want Jesse back nor does she miss him. She just hates how quickly she was replaced. It’s her own fault, she thinks. She could’ve broken it off with him a long time ago when the spark fizzled out. And it fizzled out fast. Being in a doomed relationship for that long made sense for Beca to be easily replaced.
Beca tosses her phone next to her on the couch and rubs at her face. She remembers when Jesse wanted to make them Facebook official and she nixed that right away. The last thing Beca wanted was Facebook ‘friends’ knowing her business. Jesse accused her of being ashamed of their relationship. It was only one of their many fights.
Her mood is sour pretty much the entire day and Beca doesn’t even bother masking it in front of the girls. Everyone is in the living room just hanging out and Beca remains on the corner of the couch, typing aggressively on her laptop. She wasn’t even doing anything in particular but she knows if she left to brood in her room, all their whispers would start and Beca would probably actually scream. So Beca pretends she doesn’t notice their eye contact with each other and stilted conversations.
Beca’s phone vibrates beside her and she sees a new message notification. She unlocks her phone and her face muscles involuntarily twitch into a slight smile when she sees a gif Chloe sent her of a dog patting another dog on the head. She looks up to see Chloe on the other side of the room appearing to be watching TV.
Beca searches for a gif to send back and settles on a grumpy looking husky and waits for Chloe’s reaction. Beca smiles when she sees the corner of Chloe’s mouth turn up. A minute later she gets another reply, this time a picture of two huskies where one has his entire snout in the other’s mouth.
One guess on which one is you and which one is me.
Beca blushes. She looks up to see Chloe smiling at her and her heart skips a beat.
“We should probably start tipping the mail person.” Cynthia Rose hands Beca another package before heading to the kitchen. Beca can’t help the excitement she feels as she examines the box. The sporadic deliveries she’s been receiving were pretty much the only thing she’s been looking forward to these days. She was hoping the sender would give her some clue on who they were or at least have a way she can reply back.
Even though Beca was pretty sure the admirer knew exactly what her reactions were to every gift. But she didn’t want to assume. Or get her hopes up.
The return label was another generic shipping warehouse and Beca opens the box. The typed note was on top this time around so she reads it first.
Hopefully one day I can give you the real thing but until then.
Beca looks inside and finds a bag of Hershey’s Caramel Kisses. She lets out a laugh at the extreme corniness of it all but her stomach does that weird flippy thing. It was actually one of the sweetest gifts she’s ever received from any significant other. And it technically wasn’t a significant other.
And clearly the admirer knew her favorite Hershey’s Kisses flavor was caramel.
“Ohh whatcha get this time?” Chloe squeezes herself between the arm of the couch and Beca. Even though there was more than enough room on the other side and Beca’s body flushes at how close Chloe was to her. Which was a very recent development. “Caramel kisses! Can I have some?”
“No,” Beca deadpans and gets a poke to her side. She laughs at Chloe’s pout but keeps the bag of chocolates close to her chest. “Get your own secret admirer!” She attempts to get up but Chloe is way too fast for her and pulls her back by hooking her finger in one of Beca’s belt loops and tugs.
Beca lets out an embarrassing squeak at the sudden force and finds herself almost in Chloe’s lap and the Hershey’s Kisses bag is stolen from her. “Chloe!” She whines but Chloe has already opened it and was unwrapping the foil around the chocolate.
Beca thinks she’s going to eat it but instead offers it to her instead. Actually, Chloe holds it close to Beca’s mouth with a wide smile. Beca opens her mouth automatically and Chloe gently places the piece of chocolate carefully inside her mouth and avoids actually touching her.
“Aw, look at that, you’ve accepted my kiss.” Chloe winks at her before grabbing another piece and leaves.
Beca can only chew and swallow and surprises herself that she doesn’t actually choke. Her entire face felt like it was on fire.
It took her awhile but Beca finally figures out why she felt the way she did when she was around Chloe. Why her heart rate would increase or why her entire body flushes and why her stomach kept doing somersaults at even the thought of Chloe.
She likes Chloe. A lot. And when Beca looks back at all their private moments, everything starts to make sense. Beca is almost positive Chloe feels the same way and why she’s almost certain her admirer was Chloe.
But Beca didn’t want to be wrong.
The Bellas start going full force during rehearsals as competition season starts that everyone’s free time revolves around the Bellas and only the Bellas. At least that’s what Chloe writes on the whiteboard one day before Beca erases it when Chloe isn’t looking.
Chloe starts to stress more between Bellas obligations and school work. She knew that Chloe was actually going to try to graduate this year which meant more time studying and less time for anything else. Which proved very difficult for Chloe whose entire focus was almost always on the Bellas.
“Chloe?” Beca waits for a response while she watches Chloe chew on her pen cap aggressively while typing away on her computer. All her school books were spread out on the bed. She hasn’t left her room in almost 12 hours. “Chloe,” Beca says louder and Chloe finally looks up.
“What’s up?” She looks at Beca with her signature stressed look. Slightly manic wide eyes with dark circles under them. If Beca looks closer, she knows they’d also be a little bloodshot. Chloe’s hair is in disarray like she’s been running her hand in it repeatedly and her lips were chapped.
“Why don’t you take a break? Come downstairs and get something to eat?” Beca gives her a cheesy smile but Chloe just shakes her head and goes back to her computer.
“I can’t, I have a paper due Monday and a test. And I’m freaking out that the fact that the ICCA hasn't received our membership paperwork yet.” Chloe hits a key with more force than necessary.
Beca furrows her eyebrows and approaches Chloe’s bed. She starts taking her unopened books and stacking them on the side table.
“I thought you submitted those when the semester started?”
Ever since that high school kid snuck his way in one of the a cappella groups back then, the ICCA made sure every member of every group competing was actually a student at a university. Chloe was very strict every year since then that everyone filled out a form so she could submit it right away. Otherwise they wouldn’t be eligible for competition.
“I did,” Chloe says, the frustration seeping in her voice. Her breathing was getting heavier and her skin was starting to turn a little red. Chloe starts typing even more aggressively on her computer and Beca figures it wasn’t the appropriate time to think how insanely attractive Chloe looks at the moment. “But Amy didn’t use her legal name and they’re claiming that ‘Amy Hobart’ isn’t a student at Barden. So I explained the situation and asked if I could email a corrected copy but of course they want an original so I did priority express mail.” She stops to take a deep breath. “But the damn thing says it’s been ‘in transit’ for the past two days!”
She turns the screen towards Beca where she sees the USPS site up and the words IN TRANSIT under the tracking.
“Beca, I’m freaking out, what if we get disqualified on a technicality?”
Beca bites her lip and takes the laptop gently away from Chloe. She’s used to Chloe’s meltdowns and knows she just needs to be reassured.
“Chloe, take a deep breath,” she says gently and Chloe does. Beca sets aside the laptop. “It’ll be fine, they’ll receive it and you already informed them. And plus, they know it’s just a stupid mistake. Amy’s not exactly anonymous, they know who exactly she is.” She clears a little room on the bed so she can sit next to her. “Breathe, Beale, it’ll be okay.” Beca knocks her shoulder against her. It was always usually the other way around with Chloe calming Beca down. Beca likes these moments when she takes care of Chloe.
Chloe lets out a little laugh. “Thanks, Bec.” She leans her head against Beca’s shoulder and Beca takes a deep breath herself. “Is there food downstairs? I’m starving.”
“Yeah, I ordered pizza. The girls are all out right now.” Which Beca was thankful for. Too much stress lately between all of them.
Chloe hums in appreciation. “Sorry I’ve been crazy lately.”
Beca reaches out and pats her thigh. “Meh, I’m used to it.”
“Shut up.” Chloe pokes her side.
“Pizza’s gonna get cold.” Beca hops off the bed and holds her hand out to Chloe.
They eat in the living room with the TV on just for background noise as they talk about random things. When there’s a lull in their conversation and they’re both full and sleepy, an idea crosses Beca’s mind.
“So I’ve been trying to figure out who my secret admirer is,” Beca starts. They’re both on the couch and Chloe is leaning against her. Her fingers play with the bottom hem of Beca’s shirt. It’s very pleasant but distracting.
“Yeah?” Chloe doesn’t look up but continues to watch TV. Beca knows she’s just staring at the screen and not paying attention.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s this guy in my psych class.” Beca feels Chloe’s body immediately tense and she sits up so quickly that Beca almost gets whiplash.
“Oh?” Beca can tell Chloe was trying to keep her voice nonchalant as she settles back down on the couch. “Who?”
“You know TJ? That dorky guy who’s always spewing the most ridiculous fun facts?” TJ was one of the few people in Beca’s classes that she did genuinely like. He was insanely smart and was like a walking Google.
Chloe looks at her with a stoic expression. “What makes you think it’s him?”
Beca bites her lip and turns to face the television so Chloe can’t read her obviously lying face. “I feel like he’d be the type of guy to send those cute puns. Plus he is always awkwardly flirting with me.” He doesn’t but she was trying to gauge a reaction from Chloe but she remains quiet.
Beca takes a deep breath. “But he may have lost interest, I haven’t gotten another gift in weeks.”
Chloe just hums and returns to her position against Beca’s side. But this time Chloe puts her arm around her waist and tugs Beca a little closer to her. She adjusts herself so her face is almost tucked into Beca’s neck.
“Maybe your secret admirer” Chloe stresses the word and Beca shivers at the feel of her breath against her neck, “is just busy and hasn’t had the time. No one can lose interest in you.”
Beca blushes at the words. “Thanks, Chloe,” she says quietly. She rubs Chloe’s arm that’s against her stomach. They spend the rest of the night in a comfortable silence.
Beca gets another package a few days later. It arrives while everyone is about to leave for an afternoon class.
“Parcel for you, Ms. Mitchell,” Emily says it with an awful British accent and everyone looks at her strangely. “Harry Potter?” No one reacts.
“Thanks,” Beca says, taking the package from her. She notices the return label is from the same toy store the stress ball pickle came from.
“Can you open that faster?” Stacie blurts out. “We’re going to be late for class.”
Beca glares at everyone staring at her. “You know what, just for that, I’m opening it later.” She takes the box with her and starts walking towards the door. Everyone boos her.
“Bec, wait up!” Chloe comes running down the stairs and joins Beca. “Can I walk you to class?”
“Don’t you have class?” Beca can already feel herself smiling. Chloe’s been really clingy the past few days and Beca was hardly complaining.
“I just got an email saying it was cancelled,” she says and holds up her phone. “Figured I can walk you to class and spend the free hour at the gym.” Beca was just now realizing Chloe was in workout clothes and her mouth suddenly gets dry.
“Okay,” is all Beca can say as Chloe links their arms together and walk out.
“You going to open that?” Chloe tilts her head towards the box in Beca’s hand.
“Oh, right.” She reluctantly unlinks her arm from Chloe and uses her keys to cut through the box. She pulls out a cute little ghost plushie. It had a cute little smile and pink little circles where cheeks should be. Beca’s face hurts from smiling.
“Okay, that’s adorable,” Chloe says, taking the plush from her so Beca can pull out the note.
Didn’t mean to ghost you. I’ve been a little busy. Hoping I can still be your boo?
“Told you they were busy,” Chloe says when Beca shows her the note. They stop right in front of Beca’s class building. “No one can forget about you.”
Beca feels herself blush again as she carefully puts the plushie and note in her bag. “Thanks for walking me to class.”
Chloe is about to say something when someone calls Beca’s name. They both turn to see TJ jogging towards them. Beca doesn’t miss Chloe’s face falling.
“Hey, Chloe!” He says enthusiastically. They’ve only met a few times but TJ seems to never forget a face. “How are you?”
“I’m good!” Chloe says with a fake smile. Well, Beca knows it’s fake but TJ doesn’t. “I was about to leave though but it’s nice seeing you again.” She turns to Beca. “See you later?”
Beca nods and almost panics when Chloe leans close and places a soft kiss on her cheek. It’s almost to the corner of her mouth and Chloe makes sure to linger. When Chloe pulls away, she winks before jogging away. Beca stays rooted to the spot. She is sure her entire face looks like a tomato.
“Are you two dating?” TJ’s voice cuts through her Chloe induced haze.
“Huh?” Beca blinks and stares at TJ. He has the same dorky expression he always does. “Me and Chloe? No, why?”
TJ just shrugs as they walk together towards the entrance of the building. “Well every time I see you with her, you contract your zygomaticus major. So does she actually.”
Beca rolls her eyes. TJ always speaks like this. “Dude, I am tired of having to google everything you say. What? ”
TJ lets out a laugh. “You smile. A lot. And so does Chloe.”
Beca can’t help but smile after hearing that. “You could’ve saved like 50 syllables if you just said that.”
“Yeah, but I live for your confused expressions!” He gives her another dorky saulute before finding a seat up front while Beca sits near the back.
She just settles in her seat when her phone vibrates with a new text message.
You look really cute today by the way. 😘
Beca really couldn’t stop contracting her zygomaticus major for the rest of the class.
I meant to finish this last week but RL stuff got in the way so sorry for the delay! Thank you to everyone who read this and enjoyed!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“You’re not dying, Beca.”
“I am dying, Chloe. Don’t tell me I’m not dying when I’m clearly dying.” Beca was being dramatic of course but she felt like she was run over by a truck. Ten times. Chloe was helping her into the Bellas house slowly since Beca claims she couldn’t take a step without being in searing pain.
Chloe laughs at her as she guides her up the stairs. “You know, if you actually kept up with the cardio, today’s rehearsal wouldn’t have been as bad as you’re insisting.”
Beca does her best to glare but she just winces. Okay, maybe not being an active participant during warm ups didn’t do Beca any favors but the choreography that Stacie came up with was ridiculously hard. And Beca was definitely not that flexible.
“All the other girls were fine,” Chloe points out as she opens the door to her room.
“Because you weren’t as hard on them as you were on me.” Chloe helps her sit on the bed. Beca winces when it bounces slightly. Every muscle in her body was so sore.
“You’re so dramatic, Bec.” She laughs again and kneels down to help Beca out of her shoes. “And besides, I think you like it when I boss you around.” Chloe looks up at her from place on the floor and grins at Beca.
Beca blushes at the comment because maybe she has had thoughts of Chloe bossing her around. In other settings that weren’t Bellas rehearsals.
“Owie,” Beca whines when Chloe tugs off her shoes and socks. “Okay, when I die, you make sure all my mixing equipment stays safe.”
“Aww, you’re giving me your mixing equipment?” Chloe gets up and smiles.
Beca’s stomach does that weird flippy thing again. “I’m also in an immeasurable amount of pain so anything I say might not hold up in court.”
Chloe rolls her eyes. “Oh my god, turn around and lie down on your stomach.”
Beca widens her eyes. That may or may not be one of the many things Chloe says to her in her thoughts. Okay maybe they were more fantasies than anything. “What?”
“I’m giving you a back massage so you’ll shut up,” Chloe says with playful exasperation. “Now, turn around, Whiny McWhinerson.”
Beca does as she’s told and turns around to lie on her stomach. Chloe moves the pillows so her head is level with the rest of her body.
“Hands to the sides or above your head, whichever is more comfortable.”
Beca swallows and tries very hard not to have an image of herself on Chloe’s bed with her hands above her head. But on her back and very naked with Chloe hovering over her.
She leaves her hands to her sides.
Beca turns her head so she’s facing away from Chloe and looking towards the window. She can hear Chloe walking around her room and grabbing a few things here and there before returning to the bed.
“Can I lift your shirt a little?”
“Um.” Beca swallows but doesn’t turn her head. Her face feels flushed again. “Sure.” It comes out like a little squeak and she hears Chloe chuckle. The next thing she feels is Chloe gently lifting her shirt so it’s about to her mid-back just below her sports bra. Beca feels the bed shift and a slight weight on either side of her thighs.
“Do you mind?” Chloe asks above her. Beca is now realizing that Chloe was practically straddling her but not putting her complete weight on Beca. “I can get off if you want.”
Beca squeezes her eyes shut. Her entire body felt like it was on fire and she wonders if Chloe can feel the heat radiating from it. “No, you’re good.” Beca manages to get out and takes a deep breath.
“Okay, just tell me if you get uncomfortable, okay?” Chloe’s voice is gentle.
Beca tries her best to relax as she feels Chloe’s warm hands on her back. The room suddenly smells floral and her skin tingles from where Chloe touched it.
“Are those massage oils?” Beca asks. Her eyes are still closed and she’s trying to control her breathing and not moan at the incredible feeling. Chloe’s hands on her were sending tingly feelings elsewhere.
“Yeah, I got them for Christmas last year. Figured I’d give them a test run.” Chloe’s thumbs spread across her lower back and this time Beca does moan. Chloe’s hands stop momentarily. “You okay?”
Beca’s eyes spring open. Maybe she was imagining it but Chloe sounded like she was just holding her breath. “I’m great.”
She shifts on the bed and tries to subtly squeeze her thighs together. Chloe’s fingers dig into her tighter muscles and the sensation causes Beca to bite down on the sheet below her mouth. Chloe’s hands don’t go higher than where Beca’s sports bra is but that also happens to be where she’s the most sore. And frankly, Beca was so turned on, she wasn’t thinking straight so she makes a suggestion.
“Would it be easier if I remove my shirt and bra?” It’s out of Beca’s mouth before she knows it and she feels Chloe freeze above her. Beca panics. “I mean-”
“No, that’s a good idea actually.” Chloe gets up and off her. “I don’t want to get oil on your clothes.”
RIght, the oils.
Beca sits up before she loses her nerve and pulls both her shirt and bra up and over her head. Her back is facing Chloe but she can feel her watching. She tosses her shirt and bra aside and goes to lie back down. She tries to ignore the fact she can feel her heartbeat against the mattress.
Chloe gets back on her wordlessly and continues her massage. Her hands start just below her neck and Beca is acutely aware that she is lying topless on Chloe’s bed while Chloe’s hands are all over her.
Beca may actually die.
“Hey, Bec,” Chloe says quietly while she rubs on a knot between Beca’s shoulder blades.
“Yeah?” Beca knows she sounds breathless. This is definitely what heaven must feel like.
“What would you say to your secret admirer when you finally meet them?”
Beca wasn’t expecting that so she takes a deep breath before answering. Chloe’s fingers were moving lighter now and she can feel Chloe trace the tattoo on her shoulder.
“Well, I’d thank them for the gifts for one.” Beca jumps a little when Chloe runs her fingers lightly down her back.
“Then I’d thank them for making me laugh.” Beca bites her lip. “And for making me feel special and wanted. And I hope that I make them feel the same.”
Chloe stops massaging her. “You do.” She says it so quietly that Beca almost doesn’t hear it.
Beca holds her breath and waits. She feels Chloe move above her and then gets off the bed.
“You feel better?”
Beca lets out a long exhale. “Yes, I do, thank you, Chloe.” She goes to move but Chloe drapes the blanket over her and puts back the pillow so Beca can rest her head on it. Beca finally turns her head so she can see Chloe.
Chloe smiles down at her and Beca feels warmth radiating from her chest.
“Why don’t you take a nap? I’ll wake you when dinner’s ready. Jessica and Ashley are cooking Italian.”
Beca can only nod. She was getting a little sleepy and the massage put her in an almost euphoric state. But that could also be Chloe.
Chloe grabs her discarded shirt and bra and puts on the side table for easier access. “I’ll make sure to save you some garlic bread.”
Beca laughs. “Thanks.” She stares at Chloe who is still lingering by her side like she’s waiting for something. And then before she knows it, Chloe leans down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead
Chloe just smiles at her before leaving the room and shutting the door quietly.
Beca falls asleep with a smile on her face.
Beca is pretty much velcroed to Chloe the next few weeks and she honestly didn’t care what the other girls thought. They were always making jokes about them in the first place so she thought she’d pull a Bonnie Raitt and give them something to talk about.
She honestly has never wanted to be around someone as much as she wanted to be around Chloe. So Beca made any excuse to be near her. Being co-captains worked to her advantage very well because of course Beca had to be in Chloe’s room at all hours of the night. And if she happens to fall asleep next to Chloe while they worked on sets? Well, that’s just inevitable.
Bellas movie nights always have limited seating in the living room so if Chloe’s lap is available, why wouldn’t Beca take it? Chloe did offer after all.
“You guy gonna bone here too?” Cynthia Rose mutters under her breath when she sees Chloe cover the both of them with a blanket just before the movie starts.
“What was that?” Beca asks as she gets comfortable on Chloe’s lap. Chloe’s arm is already around her waist.
“Nothing,” Cynthia Rose gives them somewhat of a disgusted yet amused look.
Beca ignores it and leans against Chloe.
Beca receives another gift a few days later. It wasn’t a package this time but an envelope. Amy tosses it at her like a frisbee and it almost hits her in the eye. Amy just laughs while Beca shoots daggers at her.
Beca’s name and address is handwritten this time with no return address. The handwriting looks very familiar. She unseals the envelope and takes out a card with a drawing of a cartoon coffee mug with a smiling face. The words “I like you a latte” are written right above it and Beca lets out a loud laugh. She was really glad she was now alone in the kitchen.
She opens the card and a gift card to one of the local cafes falls out of it. Beca picks it up and sets it aside to read the card.
Words cannot espresso what you mean to me. Saturday, 1pm? Better latte than never.
The entire note is also handwritten and even had a little heart drawn at the bottom. Beca feels like her own heart is about to burst out of her chest. Tomorrow was Saturday and her secret admirer finally wanted to meet. And even though Beca is almost certain she knows who it is, she still felt like she was about to spontaneously combust.
Beca hasn’t seen Chloe since yesterday evening. It was one of the few nights they didn’t share a bed because Beca actually fell asleep at her dad’s house during her weekly family dinners. Beca’s dad wanted her to stay and watch a movie with him and Shelia which put her promptly to sleep on the couch about twenty minutes into the film.. Her dad didn’t want her going back to campus that late so Beca stayed the night in the guest room.
Chloe had already gone to class when Beca returned to the house the next morning. And now Chloe was running around doing technical stuff for the ICCAs and had a group project for one of her classes that she’s been putting off for weeks because of Bellas obligations.
how goes the group project?
mmm im about two seconds away from killing jeremy. we’ve got nothing accomplished. gonna be here allll night
that sucks! wanna me to beat him up?
he’s 6’6 babe. It’ll be like a toddler starting a pillow fight.
Beca blushes at the nickname.
Rude. when are you coming home?
dont know. at this rate, probably next year? why? you miss me? 😉
Yes, Beca wanted to reply back.
The girls dont want to pay a delivery fee for chinese and want you to pick up their order.
omg, im probably not going to be home for dinner. we gotta email this project before midnight tonight. this is already our extension. gonna be gone all night ☹️
Beca frowns at that as well.
booooo youre leaving me all alone with the kids??
😂 😂 i’ll try to be home as soon as i can. i gotta get back to work. I’ll see you later becs. 😘
Chloe isn’t home by midnight so when Beca gets ready for bed, her feet automatically take her to Chloe’s room. When she gets under the covers surrounded by Chloe’s scent, Beca thinks about her coffee date the following day. She falls asleep with her heart beating fast and a smile on her face.
Beca wakes up an hour later surrounded by warmth and softness and a comfortable weight against her stomach. Beca feels light scratches on her bare stomach and a warm breath tickling the back of her neck.
A soft kiss is placed on her shoulder.
Beca didn’t have a lot of clothes. She was never the type of person to have a million different outfits for different occasions. She had a set wardrobe she rotated throughout most of her life. She updated of course, but now she was finding it very hard to find something to wear to meet her secret admirer. Which was ridiculous because she’s pretty sure she could be wearing a garbage bag and her secret admirer wouldn’t mind at all.
Chloe was gone when she woke up but there was a post-it note on her forehead that said she was running errands and she’ll meet up with her later. Later, Beca was hoping, was the coffee shop.
“Uh, did Hurricane Mitchell come by this morning?”
Beca doesn’t bother answering Amy as she sifts through three very similar looking shirts. A plain tee or a plaid shirt? Or one of her old concert t-shirts?
“Getting ready for your coffee date?”
Beca whips her head around as Amy navigates through their clothes covered floor. “How did you know about that?”
“I stole and read your card,” Amy says matter of factly and Beca rolls her eyes. “So, you nervous?”
“Nope,” Beca lies and tosses another shirt aside. She grabs another one and a pair of jeans.
“Come on, I’m sure Chlo, I mean your secret admirer is just as nervous. All of this isn’t necessary.” Amy picks up a few clothes and dumps them on Beca’s messy bed. It hasn’t been slept in in weeks.
Beca grits her teeth and glares at her. “I’m going to take a shower,” she says in lieu of a proper response. She had about two hours until she had to be at the coffee shop.
Beca spends time getting ready, making sure her hair was brushed thoroughly and her make up was done just right. She finally settled on one of her go to outfits of a Henley shirt and skinny jeans. She’s been trying to avoid the Bellas all day who all happened to be home at the same time. It was quite annoying. They weren’t actually saying anything to her but kept giving her these knowing looks and would giggle and whisper amongst themselves.
She decides to leave early if only to get away from the house and the girls.
“Good luck!” They had called after when she finally left. Beca just flips them off and starts making her way to the coffee shop. She knew she’d be ridiculously early if she got there now so Beca decides to take a detour at a store to pick up something.
When Beca is finally at the entrance of the coffee shop (which was actually called Better Latte than Never), she feels like she’s about to pass out. But Beca takes a deep breath and pulls the door open. The cafe isn’t too busy and Beca’s eyes roam around.
It’s cliché but Beca thinks her heart does actually stop when she finally sees her: Sitting at a table near the corner, right by the window, a rare shy smile on her face. Beca quickly makes her way over and stops right in front of her.
“Hi,” Chloe says quietly and gets up from her seat. “I’m glad you came.”
Beca goes to say something but her body has other things in mind and she’s pulling Chloe into a hug and burying her face in her neck. “I’m really happy it’s you,” she says against her. Beca doesn’t realize her eyes are filled with tears as Chloe squeezes her back.
“Yeah?” Chloe says with a tearful laugh. “You’re not mad?”
“God, no,” Beca replies and pulls back. She looks straight into Chloe’s eyes and feels that familiar warmth radiate throughout her whole body. She laughs. “You’re really fucking corny and dramatic, you know that?”
Chloe’s laugh fills her up. “I think you like that though.” She squeezes Beca’s arms. “Would it be okay if I kissed you right now?”
“More than okay.” Beca doesn’t waste any time and meets Chloe half way. The kiss is perfect and exactly what Beca dreamed their first kiss would be. Chloe’s lips are soft and taste like the coffee she was just drinking before Beca arrived. The little sigh Chloe makes sends little waves of happiness through Beca’s body.
She’s very aware they’re still in a public place and Beca is usually not one for PDA, but with Chloe, everything is an exception.
They pull back and lean their foreheads together. “I like you a latte too,” Beca whispers against Chloe’s lips.
Chloe laughs and leads them back to the table to sit down. She doesn’t let go of Beca’s hand as they rest them on the table.
“Why the anonymous gifts?” Beca asks curiously. She can’t stop staring at Chloe, not quite believing this was all happening. She never felt so happy.
Chloe grins and rubs her thumb across Beca’s hand. “Well, I thought it’d be something you’d find amusing and it was a way for me to gauge your reaction, I didn’t want to scare you off. I knew you’d figure it was me eventually.”
Beca laughs. “Really? I mean, I’m pretty oblivious sometimes.”
“Yeah, but not that oblivious, otherwise, I’d question my feelings for you.”
Beca gasps in mock offense. “You’re right, I knew it was you but I wanted to make sure.”
“Hence your TJ red herring?” Chloe guesses correctly.
“You were jealous, admit it.” Beca has a smug grin on her face which Chloe kisses away immediately. Beca’s not sure if she’ll ever get used to that but she’s not complaining.
“Also, I did finish your last bar of granola so I thought I’d replace it at the same time.”
“I knew it was you!” Beca exclaims with a laugh. “You playing dumb with each new gift was spectacular acting by the way.”
Chloe does a dramatic bow. “Which was your favorite gift?” She brings their joined hands to her lips and kisses Beca’s fingers. Beca is surprised she hasn’t melted into a puddle.
“The ghost plushie,” Beca says with a shy smile. “That one was fucking adorable.”
Chloe’s eyes seem to sparkle when she looks at her. “I knew you were a softie.”
Beca blushes. “Um, speaking of gifts, since you got me so many, I got you a little something too.” Chloe’s eyes seem to light up a little more. She reluctantly lets go of Chloe’s hand and reaches into her bag to pull out a plastic one. “It’s nothing big but.” She hands the bag over to Chloe.
Chloe takes it and eagerly opens it and takes out a yellow baseball cap. The words “Hello Sunshine” are embroidered on it and Chloe’s eyes fill with happy tears. “Beca, I love it!”
Beca smiles. “Cause you know, you’re the sunshine to my rain cloud.” She says it quietly with another blush and watches Chloe’s face break into a bigger smile.
“You are so fucking cute.” She leans over to give her another kiss. “And um, apparently we have the same mind because.” Chloe reaches under her seat for something and Beca tilts her head curiously. “I also got you one last gift.” She puts a plain blue gift bag on the table.
“Chloe!” Beca chastises but can’t help the excitement she feels. “You’ve gotten me enough!”
“Yeah, but one more won’t kill you.” Chloe looks absolutely giddy as she waits for Beca to open it.
Beca just shakes her head and removes the tissue paper that was in the bag and reaches in to pull out the gift. She lets out the loudest laugh.
“Oh my god.” Beca stares at the travel umbrella in her hand that is patterned with a cartoon rain cloud. The rain cloud definitely looked grumpy. “Why are we so corny?”
Chloe just laughs along with her. “I’m pretty sure Rihanna wrote a song about this moment.”
Beca rolls her eyes playfully. “Oh my god, please don’t start singing.”
Chloe just grins.
They eventually make it back home after spending a couple more hours at the coffee house drinking coffee and having a late lunch. They talk about everything and nothing and won’t stop touching each other. Beca thinks this is the best day she’s ever had.
There’s a loud raucous the second they step into the house and actual confetti is thrown at them. Both of them jump at the sudden surprise and look around. The Bellas are all cheering and holding up champagne flutes. A customized banner hangs on the wall with the words “FUCKING FINALLY! BHLOE IS REAL!” on it.
“What the actual hell guys?” Beca yells over the cheers. She shakes her hair of confetti and sees Chloe struggling to contain her laughter next to her.
“We just wanted to celebrate you two idiots finally getting together!” Amy screams and thrusts a flute of champagne in each of their hands. “Because it was getting really fucking annoying.”
“Cheers!” Everyone else yells and Beca and Chloe look at each other both amused and annoyed at the same time.
“Cheers!” They say to each other and clink their glasses. They down the champagne at the same time.
There’s a full on Bellas party celebrating their get together but Beca and Chloe quickly bow out when no one’s really paying attention.
“They’re insane,” Beca says laughing before removing her shoes and starts changing into (Chloe’s) sleepwear.
“They’re sweet,” Chloe counters playfully.
They start settling down for the night and Beca makes sure the door is locked. Chloe’s sitting in the middle of the bed, giving her this look and suddenly Beca is nervous and calm at the same time.
“Come here,” Chloe whispers and pats her lap.
Beca smiles and makes her way to bed and climbs into Chloe’s lap to straddle her. Chloe’s hands rest on her hips and Beca wraps her arms around her neck.
“I don’t mean this in a possessive way,” Chloe starts as her hands move under Beca’s shirt and Beca shivers and moves closer to Chloe. “But I’m really glad you’re mine.”
Beca bites her lip and leans in to kiss her. “I’m glad you’re mine too.” Her hips start moving on its own accord against Chloe. The sound Chloe makes sends electricity down to Beca’s core.
“Hmm, sincerely yours,” Chloe says with a grin, Her hands move down to Beca’s ass and squeezes it.
Beca lets out a little squeak which turns into a moan when Chloe’s hips move in tandem with hers. “All yours.”
They don’t get much sleep that night.
Beca wakes up the next morning with the sun shining on her face from Chloe’s slightly open window. She smiles when she feels her own sunshine behind her, pulling her closer.
Just realized I never explained the origin of the title. It's a reference to a Dan Brown novel (don't judge).
[The phrase without wax is an English translation of sin cera. When sculptors of stone would mess up they would cover there mistake by filling it with wax. A true statue was then said to be without wax. This where the English word sincere comes from. Sin "without" cera "wax". So to say without wax means sincerely or true. The phrase is normally used after an i love. I. E. I love you without wax, mean I love you sincerely or without blemishes. Source]