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Starfall: Book Two

Summary:

A Redguard Mage and an Akaviri Dragonslayer are forced to travel the harsh world of Skyrim in search of meaning, someone who'll stop gawking at how impossible they both are and help them, and whoever keeps letting dragons loose all over the country. So far, the native Nords aren't very helpful, even when they're actually trying to help. The gods are even worse, but when are they not? Every lesson gets harsher, the snow gets deeper, and their sanity a little thinner. Asking at the College of Winterhold turned out to be the worst thing to do.

Notes:

1. This is a 'modded run' (obviously, Kaidan is here). Mostly mods that fit the world to make the game Bethesda made... less Bethesda levels of jank and barebones. Most of all the absolutely pathetic magic system of Skyrim.
2. Lore comes from en.UESP.net.
3. Dragon Language comes from thuum.org
4. If you're here for flashy action, I can do that. If you're here for saucy exploits... ehh. I dunno, come back some time around book two. Maybe. Best you'll find here is a nudge and shrug. Unless you're down for the most platonic of friendships.
5. Don't bother trying to 'diagnose' what the hell is wrong with Starfall. She's a midden fire and Tamriel's most advanced methods of healthcare are literally prayer and herbs.

August 7, 2021: First off, I'd like to say thank you to everyone who stuck around for this very long, very strange journey. But in posting today's chapters, I've decided to end Starfall's story, for several reasons. The most obvious reason is that it was dragging, even though I'd already cut out the side-questing and more of the distractions. I definitely did not mean for the story to be even half as large as it is.

Another problem is that finally after almost three years (even though the story was first posted in March, I'd started writing it months before to build the queue), my hyperfocus wore off. I still love this story, and in fact I was well into book three and already wrote over a dozen other later chapters when I decided to stop. But when ADHD decides 'no, I've had enough', it becomes a battle that you have to think really carefully about fighting because burnout or worse is *always* on the other side. I can't risk that burnout while fighting a bunch of other mental and physical battles from this and last year. My actual original work is already suffering.

And I'm not going to lie, the complete lack of engagement for the last several months has been abysmal. Two comments in eight months when I've seen some people asking if they should quit when they only get one comment a *week*? And then my other works not getting anything at all? At first, I was well content to keep posting just for myself, but I'm wanting to see other stories more.

So sorry to maybe the two or three of you that still stuck around, and I hope that the end to book two can be enough. Will I write anything else with Starfall and Kaidan? I honestly don't know. Like I said, the novelty has worn off, and no one paid any attention to the other side stories I did post. But who knows; like I said, I still have a lot of material I didn't post.

Thanks for reading.

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“There is something you’re not telling me, Ervine…” Ancano glared at her. She was trying to discuss the week’s matters with Savos when he had stormed in, undoubtedly from finally breaking into Violet’s room and finding both her and Kaidan gone.

“The only thing that I neglected to tell you, is that the College of Winterhold is not here to look after children, and all students, faculty, and guests are free to come and go as they please. And honestly, after everything that has happened to them this past week, I wouldn’t blame them if they were frightened away from this place.” Mirabelle sighed heavily.

“Where. Are. They.” The inquisitor said slowly through grit teeth and dimly glowing fingers.

“Again. Not here to babysit. I mean, our Master of Daedric Studies has been gone for years. Probably eaten by one.” She rubbed her temples in annoyance and a little bit of pain. Savos sighed and canceled Ancano out again. “Though considering the thorough job Master Violet and Kaidan did to those two dragons and Skytemple, she likely was not eaten.”

“She has a high probability of returning, Ancano. When, I’m not sure. But please be patient. I sent her to do some field research.” Savos said and drank his tea. “Though, as Kaidan has told me, they have a penchant for getting sidetracked. I certainly understand how. So yes, unfortunately, they could be anywhere.”

‘Don’t you dare start with me!’ Ancano clenched his hands. “She was still almost dead a few hours ago!”

“Colette is very good at what she does, despite her… excitability.” Savos nodded.

Mirabelle bit her lip as she heard Ancano slam the door after himself. “He’s going to be even worse than usual until she returns. I should have Drevis pay him a visit for that little stunt.”

“I’ll keep him focused on me, then.” The Archmage groaned. Maybe those two were right about permanently getting rid of him…

*

Lydia and Kaidan took turns trying to get Starfall to do anything that wasn’t inside of a book. Food wasn’t too difficult, but going outside, going to sleep (“get your papers from my side of the bed”), and making and taking her medicine were ordeals that Kaidan almost had to fight her over.

“Didn’t you say you had to keep on top of your medicine or else the Hunger and Power would start whispering that you should do awful things?” Kaidan stood over her with his arms crossed.

“I’m in a safe environment doing what I’m supposed to be doing. It’ll only go wrong if you try to change that. Like by making me go out.”

“Oi, don’t start pretending now that you’re afraid of going outside.” He frowned.

“I’m not afraid, I’m busy. And it’s not about the fresh air and light because the windows and vents are open. And having a few days where I don’t feel sluggish and nauseous is refreshing in itself. Let me work.”

“Wait, your medicine makes you sick?” He squinted at her. “You’ve never told me what’s in it, either.”

“Somewhat. It’s the compromise of being a little slow and tired but ‘clear’, and feeling like a scared animal with too much pent up energy and no brain to focus it. And one of the ingredients is vampire dust; while excellent in its curative properties, it’s still a relative essence of Daedric and mortal cremains and thus not something to fool around with, which also makes it expensive and dangerous to acquire.” She sighed and finally put her charcoal down. Her voice was already dying down to whispers. “And would it really make a difference for you to know considering you’re, at best, at an apprentice skill level? Do you really want to start lessons on how to grind crab shells fine enough to get full potency, or why if garlic works just as well, I can’t use it as a permanent solution? Here’s a hint, it’s because it comes right back out through my pores. I wouldn’t smell like ‘flowers and storms’ anymore.”

“Hmm.”

“Yeah. Anyway, it’s not so much one solution, but several that’s been depending on how I feel or what I can get my hands on. Some of the ingredients are universal, like vampire dust, or easily ordered like crab chitin and various salts, but rare and expensive things like plant roots from Oblivion, or spriggan sap… I don’t even know where the sap comes from, just… it’s a lot for someone who’s not at least an expert.”

Kaidan nodded slowly.

Her shoulders drooped. “Where did I lose you?”

“You didn’t. I already know where spriggan sap comes from. It’s not blood, I’ll tell you that much.” He covered his mouth to hide his snickering.

She ran her hands down her face. “Fuck’s sake… Kaidan. It seems to me that this is more you becoming bored and needing something to do that’s not worrying over me, than trying to get me to do things when you can see I’m already busy. I can give you something to do. Something that’s not nagging me. You can take Lydia and go pick up that other book, since I work for the damn college now and have to do this research if I want to get paid, so I can pay the rest of you. This’ll get you both out of my house, out of my hair, catch her up to all of this, and see if there’s been any interesting news on this side of the world.”

He stared at her for a good while. Her annoyance was plain on her face, but so were the dark circles under her eyes. “You know what? Fine. Be back in a few days.”

“Really?” That was too easy…

“Yes. I’ll take Lydia, and we’ll go get your book. But in exchange, when we get back, you’re getting out of that bed, and you’re spending a day out. Not getting into trouble, or even doing any work. Just enjoying nature. Collecting your alchemy ingredients. Not being a recluse. Putting your color back in the right places.” He pointed to her tired eyes.

Her eyes rolled up in her head. “Fffffine. And I have more color than you. Shut up.”

*

Once Lydia came back from Dragonsreach (since they’d left her alone for weeks, she’d returned to her guard post), Kaidan explained his plan to her.

“According to what the librarian wrote down, the book Starfall needs is over at Fellglow Keep, along with a couple others. It’s a few miles northeast of here. Turns out one of the students at the college just walked off with a bunch of books to impress some woman running her own study group? Starfall probably doesn't have to worry much about keeping those books pristine if people can walk out with them and not come back. And of course, for all the threats, the old Orc couldn’t be bothered to stop him himself. So we just have to go out there and get the books back, probably by beating some sense into him.” He sighed. “A nice, simple job. Good to be back to mundane mercenary work.”

Lydia groaned. “Oh gods, Fellglow Keep. Clear a bunch of bandits out of there and a bunch of rogue wizards move in a few days later. We go in there and kick the wizards out, who’s going to be in there next month? Daedra? Soldiers? Vampires? Who knows?”

“You’ve been there before?” Kaidan asked.

“I watched the eastern border for a while. The place gets reported and changes hands a lot. A bunch of underground ruins and a tower, spacious with plenty of places to hide and look out from, and it’s fortified on a cliff. Out of the way, and if whoever moves in wouldn’t keep kidnapping and killing people, nobody would care. On that note, I can go check to see if they have a bounty. I spent all that money you sent fixing the place up.” She shook her head and got up to start gathering supplies.

He looked around and nodded at all the little homey touches. His glass greatsword was polished up nice and mounted on the wall over the bookshelf. “It looks good. I’ll tell Starfall that if she wants us to come back alive, she’ll need to put together some magic resistance potions.”

“Bring me the ingredients, then!” She called (and coughed) from upstairs.

“Tell me what they are, and I’ll get them from Arcadia.” Kaidan replied.

A few minutes later, a scrap of paper slipped through a gap in the floorboards and almost fell into the hearth, but he grabbed it in the nick of time. “You could have just told me.”

“I can’t see if you have paper from here.” She said.

“I would have remembered it.” Or at least he thought, until he unfolded it and saw that the list was a lot longer than he thought it would be, and there were several items that he wasn’t sure about.

“Want to say it didn’t take three of us more than a day of rounding people up. But that was bandits: a bunch of jerks in ratty furs with cheap swords and maybe a hedge wizard looking for easy money. Not sure how annoying it’s going to be if there’s an entire coven. Or if they’re practicing the ugly stuff like necromancy.” Lydia shuddered.

“I wonder if I can send a message to get the college to portal Starfall’s horse into the stables.” He said, mildly annoyed with himself at having gotten used to the convenience so quickly.

“It’s only a day and a half of walking.” Lydia shrugged.

“I know. Bah. Never mind. Let’s get everything together today and we can leave in the morning.”

*

Everyone spent the rest of the day preparing, with the list of supplies split between the three of them. Kaidan brought Starfall as much as he could from her list of alchemy ingredients. Arcadia did not have enough void salts, and she offered to substitute some of the mushrooms (fine) with dartwings (not fine). At least there was spriggan sap (‘heh.’) Not wanting to go all the way back to ask Starfall if that was alright, he trusted the other alchemist at her word and accepted them, anyway.

Lydia took her and Kaidan’s equipment to be maintenanced, then went and checked with Commander Caius across the road to see if there was any news related to Fellglow. While there wasn’t a bounty, he gave her the nod that there would be something waiting for her when she brought back proof that those magical pests were evicted.

Starfall begrudgingly cleaned up and went to Dragonsreach. That was the only enchanting table she knew of in the city, and she and Farengar were the only mages. It wasn’t so much that she didn’t want to ask for permission; it was that she’d have to probably make conversation with the condescending court mage. Would he still do that though, considering she’d proven herself a master scholar? But it should only take an hour, versus Kaidan’s endless worrying and fussing. Whatever had happened when they got out of Winterhold had scared everyone (and Ancano especially) so badly that Kaidan had to get her away from the college when she wasn’t even awake to fight him about it. ‘He killed the dragon, but then the dragon still shouted at him and I couldn’t reach him in time…’

She suddenly felt nauseous, shaky, and needed to sit down. There were some benches in the city circle and she gratefully flopped down under the big, dead tree. She leaned back and put her hands over her face. “I can’t be that bad off. I made sure that nothing was fatal or long term...”

“Are you feeling alright?” Violet didn’t even see the woman in priestess robes kneeling down behind her bench. She was tending the still living plants and flowers at the base of the dead tree.

“No.”

“Hmm,” the priestess hummed at her while holding her hand out over Violet. A dim, white light washed over her. “Well, I can see that you’re being tended to already, but something much more dire than your body is ailing you.”

“I’m tired and weak, is all. It’s been a rough…” she counted on her fingers and gave up. “...couple of months.”

“The war has hurt everyone.” She nodded. “I’ve seen everyone from soldiers to farmers. Even the land itself is suffering.”

“Oh, um. I didn’t mean the war, but it hasn’t helped, I guess.” Violet rubbed her face. It took a lot not to just dump all of her problems on this stranger.

“Hmm. I think I’ve seen you once or twice before. Did you just move to Whiterun?” The priestess sat upright from her gardening.

“Sort of. I’m sorry. I just needed a minute to gather myself. I need to go.” Violet struggled to get up, then stretched. That was a mistake; her head swam and she nearly fell back into sitting.

“The temple of Kynareth is open to you, at any time. I’m Danica Pure-Spring, if you wish to talk about your troubles, or if you need healing.” She said and went back to her task.

Violet nodded and made her way up the far too many stairs to Dragonsreach. Since it had been quiet on that side of the world, the guards finally gave her some peace and mostly ignored her. As soon as she was inside, she cast a refresh spell over herself to feel slightly better and made her way over to the court wizard’s study, taking a goblet of water off of the banquet table as she passed. More food and water would probably help with the weakness. She drank the whole thing in one shot and went up to Farengar, who was at his alchemy table and had his back to her.

“Evening, Farengar. Can I borrow your enchanting table? Yours was the only one I could recall around the city.”

He looked up startled but calmed when he recognized her. “It is the only one in the city, unless Arcadia’s hiding one in her attic. I didn’t know you were an enchantress.”

“I… I’m not, really. I can do simple, common enchantments. I don’t suppose you’re proficient with magic resistance charms?”

“A bit, yes. You’re looking to make something for yourself? I would have thought you’d have something more powerful than a physical charm.” He snuffed the fire under his alembic so his distillation wouldn’t burn while he was talking to her.

“It’s not for me. But I’m sending my companion and… housecarl out on an errand, and I can’t be there to keep them out of trouble if someone decides to try and set them on fire or curse them. I have some gems and jewelry, but I’d like for it to be a lot stronger than I think I can produce.” She opened her belt pouch and pulled out the treasure she had collected from Saarthal and the Forsaken Cave: a silver amulet with a ruby to focus it, and a matching silver ruby ring. Kaidan had given them back noting that those were the ones he wanted enchanted ‘since you like them so much’.

Farengar nodded approvingly up until she pulled the soul gems out of the pouch. The Greater gem was normal, but the Grand gem… He pointed to the silver-blue crystal with a black center and miasma coming off of it. “Where did you get that? And is this black matter blood?”

She sighed and picked it up, rolling it in her palms with enough fire that the blood turned to char. “I killed a lich. Somehow. It’s hazy. What can you do with those? I want the Greater to the ring and the Grand to the amulet. Simple resistance to all forms of magic. If I were decent, I’d want it to block all, but I think the best I can do is just to make sure that nothing that comes their way turns out to be instantly fatal.”

“I’m sorry, did you say that you killed a lich?! Where?!” He nearly shouted.

“Not here, so don’t worry about it. Please don’t shout. I’m not feeling very well. I’m still trying to heal.” She rubbed her face. “Can you do better or not?”

“Oh… hmm…” Farengar carefully picked up the corrupted soul gem and turned it over. “By the Divines… Even with this damnable thing, I don’t think I could, to be honest.”

“That’s fair,” she sighed.

She took a few minutes to gather and center herself, then drank an enchanting potion she'd brought, and put the amulet in the enchanting table’s center depression.

Hi mindol fahdoni kos zaamiil, arkh nu hi los ok.” (1) Violet hissed and drew the appropriate runes with her fingers over the smaller outer depressions. When she pressed the soul gem to the transfer crystal at the back of the table, the gem crumbled to dust and the amulet at the center of the table pulled the runes of light, the lich’s soul, and most of her magicka into itself. The amulet’s ruby took on a black sheen and she smirked as it spun in her grasp. Kaidan first reacted to her ability to take and reform souls with disgust. He’d definitely think this was awful, especially if he’d heard that bit of spite she’d attached to it.

“You even speak the language of the dragons?” He shivered, feeling dread wash over him after hearing those words despite not knowing what they meant. He’d seen and done his own enchanting hundreds of times, but her style was so fascinating. Was it hers, or was it the way she was taught in Hammerfell?

“A curse for the one who nearly killed us.” She said simply and prepared the ring the same way, except without the curse. The ring was slightly less powerful, but still effective enough. “…Can I borrow your chair for a moment?”

He barely had time to say yes before he had to slide it behind her. “Are you alright?”

She fell into it and hoped she wasn’t shaking too badly. “Fighting a lich is very difficult. And horrible. And draining. I thought I was fine, until I walked all the way across the city and up several flights of stairs. I just need to make my way back home. Ugh, I swear if I have to hear Kaidan’s mouth about this, he’s not getting the amulet. He’s on his own.”

“Hmm. Here.” He put his palm to her forehead and ribbons of yellow healing light washed over her. “That should get you home, at least. It’s good to have another mage to discuss matters with. I’m sorry I misjudged you. Once you’re better, I’d like to talk more about the Dragonstone you brought me.”

‘You’re being too nice. You’re only sucking up to me because you realized how powerful I am.’ She sighed with relief and a little gratitude, anyway. “We’ll see. Thank you.”

She collected her things and snuck back out, not wanting to confront the jarl in case being a thane meant she actually had responsibilities.

*

Dinner made her feel a little better (Kaidan was also being too nice and making too much of her favorite foods ever since she woke up), but afterwards, she didn’t feel like going back to her work. She put her pillow behind her back and hugged around Kaidan’s as her mind started to drift. As he came upstairs to check on her (and figure out how to get his pillow back), she watched him absorb himself in his tasks. He seemed to be fine, even after that days long ordeal.

“Are you really alright?” She asked.

He shrugged, but didn’t look at her and kept preparing for tomorrow’s trip. “Mirabelle and Colette said I wasn’t as bad off as you, even though I had to relive a bunch of nightmares over and over, was haunted, drowned, shocked, shouted at, and knocked around a bit. They were able to heal me easily enough.”

‘That’s… not… Dammit, Kai.’ She rubbed her face. “I know I took the dragon’s soul that you killed, because I can feel it, and that should have healed me. But instead, I haven’t felt this ...sick in a long time. And I don’t remember much of what happened after we left the tombs. I don’t expect you to know what happened because you were busy fighting the dragon, and then you… were…, but…”

‘Oh no.’ Kaidan braced himself and was already trying to figure out the best way not to scare her.

“I vaguely remember someone from the college was there at the end. Did they see what happened?”

He paused for a moment, then sat facing her on his side of the bed. “The Archmage. Savos Aren. Turns out he was watching us. And it’s complete bullshit that he didn’t lift a finger to help us considering how close we came to getting killed, but whatever. He said that when you saw me fall, you must have thought I’d died. You started speaking in Draconic, so he didn’t know what you were saying, except you shouted something so loud, the world shook and you stopped using magic just so you could tear into Beinaarkh with your bare claws. You stabbed Beinaarkh in the face with a soul gem and he turned to dust. ...I think because you used your Voice so much in such a short time, that something else fully took over.”

Violet curled tighter around his pillow and hid her face. Without looking at her hands, they shook as scales and talons of ice grew over her hands for only a moment before cracking, falling off, and leaving little wet spots on the blanket. She was so stupid! She was so angry and let everything out of control without her medicine after days and days. She leaned too hard into magic she hadn’t mastered or even understood fully yet. She was so far gone for those minutes that nothing mattered. It was getting even worse, and she wasn’t doing a damn thing about it. That stopped first thing in the morning. She was too tired tonight.

“Sssshhhit. It took all of my energy to get up to Dragonsreach so I could make these for you and Lydia. Farengar had to heal me so I could get back.” She pulled the amulet and ring out of her front pocket and tossed them on the bed between them.

Kaidan picked them up and studied the two pieces of jewelry. Looking over at her, she was back to looking drained. “Thank you. But do you need us to stay?”

She shook her head. “Don’t do that. I don’t need you worrying yourself even more. I’ll worry about me since I’m the only one who can fix this. Get back on my medicine. See what… something else… is and how to purge it. Could just be I’m still weak from overexerting and sleeping for a week.”

“I tried asking the others for help before they threw us out, but there just wasn’t enough time.” He sighed.

Violet rubbed her face and grit her teeth. “I swear, when we get back, I’m going to kill Ancano. Just dust his ass, too.”

“Think about Ancano later. Think about healing and the work you have in front of you now. …And Starfall?”

“Mm?”

He took a deep breath and tried to find the words. “Why do you get so… no. …That first dragon at the college hurt you and Tiku, and that only made you angry enough to torture it. That was you. But then you thought I’d died, and it literally made you lose your mind enough that it sounds like there wasn’t any of you left. Why?”

Violet shied away from him and the question. Her nails dug into the pillow hard enough they could hear the cloth strain.

“I understand your fear. I understand your exhaustion and being at your limit for patience. I understand your anger and hatred at how awful and unfair all of this is. I even understand the …grief.” In its own way, this was even worse than whatever she called love or possessiveness and it made him look away from her. “But what Aren described wasn’t any of those things. I know those monsters in your head don’t give a damn about me, and probably wish you would ‘accidentally’ tear me apart in one of your …‘moods’.”

“I don’t remember what happened.” She wouldn’t look at him.

“It wasn’t that pit or eye inside you, was it?”

“I don’t know.” She was near smothering herself with his pillow.

“Fine, but you’re going to need to try and remember before it happens again.” He got up and took the charms with him. “Maybe while we’re gone, you can at least make it to Belethor’s and buy more pillows so you can stop stealing mine.”

Notes:

(1) You thought my friend was to be your slave, and now you are his.

Chapter 2

Summary:

Starfall isn't here, time for the tea.

Chapter Text

Starfall didn’t even stir when Kaidan got up a bit before dawn. He checked quickly to make sure she was alright, didn’t find anything out of the ordinary except for the table in their room full of freshly made potions for him and Lydia, and got ready to go. Lydia was already up as well; he nodded at her guard’s discipline and left Starfall a note that they should be back in around three or four days and (half-jokingly) not to go getting into trouble. As they headed towards the door, he asked Lydia about her fighting style.

She turned around to show off the standard issue steel sword and shield strapped to her side and back respectively. Sharpened and well maintained, but not exactly something Kaidan was sure would be enough if Starfall decided to have her along, later. “Simple sword and shield are how I was trained. All you really need as a guard, and rarely even that most times. At least ‘til the dragons. To be honest, I don’t envy you mercenaries.”

“How’d you figure me for a mercenary?” he frowned.

“I’ve seen you collecting bounties at Dragonsreach. You’re kind of memorable,” she said sheepishly.

Kaidan’s eyes rolled, but he pushed it off as he was used to doing and pulled the Daedric shield off the wall next to Starfall’s ceremonial axe. “Try this.”

Lydia’s eyes went wide as she took the much larger, heavier, and more intimidating shield from him. “I mean, it might take a bit of getting used to…”

“I can’t really use it because I’m trained in heavy weapons, though it did save my life in a pinch. Also, I’m sure Starfall wouldn’t care if you took the axe, she doesn’t need physical weapons at all.” He pointed a thumb towards the ebony weapon.

“Oh, I couldn’t! I mean, I really couldn’t. If anyone in town saw me with it, it’d be both of our hides. My sword is fine. I keep it good and sharp.”

He shrugged. “I suppose… Yeah. We’re only going to go knock around some idiot book thieves. It’s just that I’m used to whatever ungodly horrors that Starfall attracts. Ready?”

Lydia frowned. “What do you mean by ‘ungodly horrors’? The dragons?”

“Among other things. I’ll explain on the way.”

*

Once they were well on the road north into Whiterun’s farming district, Kaidan decided they were out of the way enough for her to catch up. “So… how much do you know about the legend of the Dragonborn?”

Lydia hummed in thought. “Not much, to be honest. Just the basics. Ancient heroes like Tiber Septim, who have the blood of dragons, Martin Septim who sacrificed himself to shut the gates of Oblivion, and the old Nordic history of how the Dragon War was fought and won by great warriors who could shout the dragons’ magic back at them. But I’m guessing what was going around in the barracks the past few months isn’t all that correct.”

“Hmm. Depends on what it was. Starfall does lend herself to some outlandish rumors. I suppose I can start from a beginning, if you want.”

“Depends on what ‘a beginning’ is.”

“There’s a few. There’s the beginning where the dragons came here thousands of years ago to enslave humanity from Akavir or Atmora, depending on who’s telling the tale, the beginning where Akatosh made a covenant with humans to create the first Dragonborn, the beginning where humans had to be taught how to shout like dragons, and then there’s the beginning where Starfall and I woke up in a secret prison getting beaten senseless by the Thalmor.” Kaidan realized saying all that aloud was far too many beginnings.

“Oh, well, if you start as far back as you can, it’ll fill the time to get to Fellglow.”

“I can do that, though I’m going to admit that the oldest stuff I’m not too familiar with, myself. I wasn’t that much of a history scholar until I needed to keep up with Starfall.”

“It’s alright. I’m not exactly a noble with a bunch of free time to read, either.” Lydia couldn’t really see the short, odd, and now very sick Redguard back at Breezehome being able to outdo this Outlander at anything, but she kept quiet. The Divines were involved, which meant things probably weren’t clear cut. She’d heard them tell their tale of Bleak Falls Barrow when they were at Dragonsreach, and even that seemed far-fetched. The guards should have been called ages ago if there were that many undead walking around right under their noses.

“Hmm. How to start, then…”

Kaidan didn’t profess to be the best historian, but Lydia was still able to keep up and have her questions answered when needed. Most of the day passed quickly as he talked and they admired the eastern fields and foothills of the hold. He admitted to her that he was an Akaviri and his people had written the prophecy that he and Starfall were a part of, though she was still trying to figure out just what they were supposed to do to fulfill it. His ancestors weren’t exactly clear on that front, not that prophecies ever were. Actually, the Akaviri weren’t clear on anything, even who or what they were. Up until Starfall had found him, everyone including him had just assumed he was some sort of half-breed of human and everything from Dunmer to Daedra, and any books talking about them never mentioned humans, just various beasts and monsters.

“You look human enough though, save for the eyes. No offense.”

Before, he would have looked away from her or hidden them, but a bit of Starfall’s captivation had helped to curb the habit when he wasn’t in danger. “Starfall thinks that something happened to the Akaviri to get them erased from history. Talos knows the High Elves hated them, enough. We learned enough that until the Great War thirty years ago, there were more, but were wiped out by the Thalmor. Now she’s trying to find if there’s anyone else left.”

“The High Elves hate everyone. They probably don’t even like each other, much,” she scoffed.

“It’s some kind of awful joke how persistent they are. Everyone hates the Aldmeri Dominion and to be honest are perfectly in the right to give them a good boot in the arse.”

Lydia raised her eyebrow. “So you’re a Stormcloak?”

He laughed dryly. “No. I may have been raised a Nord, but everyone else just sees an Outlander. Ulfric tolerated my presence because I follow the Dragonborn, whom he respects, but he’s also likely going to try and manipulate her the longer we’re here. His war is going to get both Skyrim and the Empire fucking laid out for the Aldmeri Dominion. She wants no part of it.”

“You met with Ulfric Stormcloak?” she asked in awe.

“Aye. When we went to go collect the bounty money from the dragon attacking Windhelm. Then she threw a fit and froze his banquet table when he said he couldn’t help her. I had to stay behind and fix it.” He ran his hand over his face.

She covered her mouth. “Oh, no.”

He hesitated a bit. “…It’s an awful burden being Dragonborn. Everyone wants a piece of her and rarely gives anything back. It wears down on her. Which is why she put us out of the house like rowdy children. I’m hoping she’ll have the sense to do the work she promised and heal herself; more likely she’s turning the house over trying to find the instructions to make a portal back to Winterhold.” He shook his head and muttered, “Daft thing isn’t going to find ‘em, though.”

“Huh.” She side-eyed him.

He heard that tone. “It’s for her own good.”

“Do you do that often?”

“You mean keep her from getting herself or someone else killed? Every godsdamned day,” he grumbled.

“So, you’re sworn to carry her burdens, as well.” What Kaidan was describing was sounding like a lot more than just being a simple bodyguard…

“There is a lot of swearing, yes.”

*

They’d traveled for a few hours more until the eastern watchtower was a few miles in the distance, but the sun was also starting to descend into the horizon. Lydia pointed directly east while they were stopped at a strangely empty intersection.

“While we could make it to Fellglow in the middle of the night, it’d be a bad idea. There wouldn’t be anywhere for us to rest without getting found out. So, I think we should camp out at the watchtower. The other problem is that hill over there. Look up.”

Kaidan followed where she was pointing, and saw several vultures circling. “Something nasty is in that cave.”

“Falmer. Every once in a while, they toss a bunch of bones and trash out of the cave and the vultures get it. Another reason why it’s not safe anywhere near there. But they don’t come too close, and we don’t want to risk too many of our people getting killed, or eaten, or whatever they do.” She shuddered.

“Wait.” He pulled out his map. “There’s a dragon mound just north of it. I remember this place. A few months ago, Starfall wandered off to investigate the grave in the middle of the night and wound up attracting a Falmer scout with its pet. It almost took her liver. Lessons were learned.”

“Wait, she can fight dragons but a single Falmer nearly killed her? How—”

“She’d never seen a Falmer before and didn’t know they don’t have faces, just lots of teeth. It ambushed her in the middle of the night while she was barely paying attention. She’d also never seen the giant bugs they keep. Nobody was happy that night. I’m surprised she was able to sleep at all the week after.”

“I never made any assumptions that being a hero like the Dragonborn was some glamorous, fun, or easy thing, but you’re making it sound…”

“Like a giant pain in the arse? That’s because it is. All of it.” Kaidan realized that he was starting to sound bitter and angry like Starfall and sighed. “It’s the two of us wandering all across Skyrim on a long term, possibly suicidal and impossible mission. Already admitted we have no idea what we’re doing and to what end, but we’re trying to find out. She was a healer before all this, and it’s really hurting her heart that she might never be one again, because all she ever gets to do anymore is kill whatever gets in our way. Not everyone wants to be saved, but she’ll still try. Shit, most people here don’t want to be saved, and definitely not by two Outlanders.

“Despite them burning down half the country, some people still don’t believe in dragons, and in turn, us. All that matters to both sides is surviving another day. History books don’t have those kinds of details. Not to mention the Thalmor and Divines know who else are after us thinking we’re some kind of threat to them. So, I don’t fault you and wouldn’t try to stop you if you want no part of it. Balgruuf wasn’t right in assigning you to all of this, not knowing all of that.”

Lydia simply kept quiet and mulled it over for a while. “No wonder you called Fellglow an easy job.”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s see if we can get to the watchtower before dark.”

Since Kaidan had been talking all day, Lydia had decided to take over in the evening when they got to the watchtower. She introduced him to the night watch tasked with making sure nothing raided the farmlands, or nothing from the east decided to make trouble. With help from the guards at the top spotting, Kaidan was able to catch an elk and provide dinner for everyone. Without getting in the way, the two exchanged news for shelter and talked throughout the night.

*

“And you’re saying she did… that.” Justiciar Estormo looked over the balcony at the crumbled remains of Skytemple Island and the giant whirlpool in its place. The currents had calmed considerably since the incident though, and lazily stirred small ice floes towards the center.

“Her, the Akaviri, a lich, and a dragon,” Ancano said, tapping his fingers on the stone railing. The only thing that could have made that sentence worse was if a Daedric Prince was somehow involved. “And you saw the other dragon’s corpse on the shore below, and the one frozen solid on the other side.”

Ambassador Elenwen had enough on her plate back at the Embassy trying to keep the war even, so she’d sent one of her agents to confirm Ancano’s (somewhat fevered and outlandish) reports. Ancano hadn’t managed to get much else from Archmage Aren in that time, and still nothing on where Starfall had gone. He was left wondering if he truly didn’t know. It wasn’t usually so difficult to get anything out of anyone. Sooner or later, someone’s tongue always slipped. But even J’zargo had nothing for him.

“And the Akaviri is putting thoughts in her head about the Empire. Someone who can do that does not need seditious thoughts in her head.” The inquisitor whispered through grit teeth.

Estormo looked over and frowned at him. “How can he be putting thoughts in her head? His report says he didn’t even know his own heritage when we interrogated him.”

“She likely told him and now these two destructive monsters are fueling each other’s delusions. She came here to learn about why she was dragged into this Dragonborn business. Instead, all she’s done is create chaos.”

The justiciar rubbed his temples. “I’m thinking whoever thought it was a good idea to keep them in the same undisclosed location has created a lot of work for the rest of us.”

“What do you want me to do with them should they return?”

“Nothing.” Estormo said. “For now, focus on the artifact. The artifact is here now, despite the administration here dragging their feet. Something needs to be done with it before the Synod returns and sees it.”

Ancano groaned at that. The Synod’s only saving grace in this instance was that they couldn’t get anything done in a timely manner. “Despite the others seeing the inside of the artifact, it’s more than likely that it’s just going to sit there uselessly for the foreseeable future. It’s as if they’re afraid to go near it now. Aren says he sent Starfall to go find research on it, but considering she was incoherent and near dead when she killed the lich, I doubt that.”

“I’m sure that you’ll have no trouble conducting your own research, then. Since they have so much trouble stopping anyone from doing whatever they want around here.” He scoffed. “I’ll take over the task of finding them. You should have stolen or deactivated the portals from the Hall of Countenance. Would have made it much harder for them, and much easier for me.”

Ancano rolled his eyes. “They’re secured to the shelves and the only way to stop the enchantments would be to destroy them. You wouldn’t have been able to arrive here except by a bloody cart if I had done that. Besides, I’m sure one of the faculty, probably Ervine or that lunatic Marence, was helping them.”

“Fine. Unfortunately, seeing all this in person doesn’t make any of this much clearer,” Estormo said as he took his leave.

*

Violet stared into the small bowl of her blood on her alchemy worktable. She woke up around mid-morning, irritable that she could finally sleep in (and not hear Kaidan’s worrying) as she pleased, only for pain and the need to be productive pushing her out of bed. Everyone was gone from the house, it was a nice day and the windows were open, she’d made a nice cup of tea (this one was a recommendation from Arcadia), moved all the library books down into her study's bookshelf, brewed both medicine for her head and the pain, and there was nothing pressing at the moment other than figuring out why she wasn’t healing properly.

First, write down everything that had happened for her to arrive at this point. She’d absorbed two dragons in the span of a week, when usually she went about a month between souls. She had used her Voice so much in the span of a few hours that despite having another soul, it was still difficult for her to talk much and she was still incredibly sore. The entire ordeal with Old Winterhold was the obvious culprit, but which part was the breaking point?

Days of wandering in a sunless, deadly, cold, wet, haunted, cursed city destroyed by a lich with a pet undead dragon with only enough supplies and medicine meant to last for a few short hours instead of several days. Doing only the bare minimum to keep going just to make the whole thing go faster. Drawing on power she not only didn’t have, but getting desperate and angry enough to slide into territories she knew she wasn’t supposed to touch. Fractured and/or sprained foot, hand, skull, jaw, spine, neck, and ribs, again. Kaidan nearly died twice. Inhaled a bunch of grave dust and human cremains. Didn’t bother checking for internal bleeding, just reset everything until the worst pain was gone. Mixing old mysticism, necromancy, and new restoration (‘I should write a paper on this, get it published’). Experimental, dangerous as fuck blood magic. Mixed that blood with a five-thousand-year-old lich’s. Converting that mixed blood into magicka just to… Ooh. That was probably it.

‘You are lazy and a shit healer. You need to stop cutting corners.’ Violet put her head down on the desk for several moments of wallowing.

The wafting steam and aroma of the tea helped her refocus just a little, while the healing herbs weren’t concentrated enough to do much other than be tasty with honey. The next step would be to perform triage, again. She took a look at the bowl of blood again, solidified it into a hard crystal, then held it up against a magelight attached to the center of her desk. Casting her Detect Death spell, there was corruption; the dark magic manifested as making the blood have disgusting, greasy flecks of black. Slowly pulsing her healing magic wasn’t enough to purify it. Pulsing the warding fire that destroyed necromantic magic did the trick. She did not like what that meant for her in the next few hours. And she’d have to do the purification first or else any new blood she created would become corrupted as well.

After that, she’d have to clear out her lungs. She’d had the sense to cover her face and use her shield when she cremated Beinaarkh’s lair, but the ashes were still all over her clothes, skin, and hair when she'd left. And even though she’d bathed several times since then, she was still finding dust in places. It was worse than being out in the sands for a solid month. Once those two things were done, everything else should start healing faster.

“Mirabelle and Colette could have at least gotten started on that for me,” Violet grumbled to herself.

It was going to take a lot of potions and magicka to run enough purifying magic throughout her entire body, while withstanding the pain. Maybe it would be best if Kaidan didn't see all the notes and records about this. He understood far more than he gave himself credit for, and reading the details of just how badly she'd managed to mess herself up would just add to his frustrations with her.

One, gather everything together. Two, make the appropriate restoration and healing potions. She really would have preferred what she’d put on the list yesterday, but if Arcadia didn’t have it, no sense in being angry about it. Putting the circle in her study seemed like the best place with the least amount of clutter, though it wasn’t as if arcane light burned anything inorganic. Three, drink a lot of water and the potions. One to power her restoration, two for the pain, and one off to the side so immediately after her body would work harder and faster on healing. Four, last check of the notes and draw the ward. Yellow-white threads draped from her fingers and made a circle filled with runes and arrows pointing in and outward.

She was never asked to do purification rituals back home because there wasn’t any need, and she wasn’t quite in enough trouble to get banished to guarding remote tombs from robbers and necromancers (not that there had been many of those, recently). She was surprised her elders didn’t try to send her off to do that job just to be rid of her, though. Before the ward was complete, she carefully sat inside the circle, closed her eyes (‘don't want to go blind again’), then drew the final runes around the outside. Unfortunately, the two potions plus bracing for the fact that she was effectively setting her bones and blood on fire still weren’t quite enough.

*

“What in Oblivion was that?!” Adrienne the blacksmith looked up from her work to shield her eyes from the flash coming from the house next door. The screaming and swearing was a whole other thing she wasn’t even sure she wanted to know about. There was now a nice, big, ugly dent in the front panel of the bracer she was working on and she winced at her mistake.

“That would be the new thane.” The gate guard nearby groaned. “Crazy Redguard mage who’s been causing us grief on and off for months. Turns out she’s Dragonborn. Lives with her Outlander bodyguard and poor Lydia got assigned to her, except they left early this morning. Must have left her home by herself. Hope she doesn’t burn the house down. I don’t get paid to put out fires.”

“Oh, I think I met the Outlander a while back. Huge, pale, Dunmer-eyed man?” She asked, wondering how in the world that could have happened.

“That’s the one. Seems to be decent enough; tries to keep her out of trouble. They came back from gods know where a over a week ago looking like they’d both been chewed on by dragons or something.”

“You did just say she was Dragonborn. Huh. Never really thought much about those old stories, myself. Just as long as she doesn’t drag them into the city, or turn into one. However it works.”

“Means she can use the old magic that the dragons use. Thankfully, that bit a few minutes ago wasn’t it.” The guard laughed.

*

Violet eventually snapped out of her catatonic state several minutes later and shakily felt around beside her for the dark red potion on the floor. It already had the cork off and she slowly drank, trying not to spill it.

Still not as bad as the Dremora digging around in my rib cage, though.’

When she opened her eyes and sat up, the ward was gone, and she’d coughed (more like screamed) out what looked to be a lot of soot. It was too soon to know if that did the trick, and she still had to clear her lungs out. That one could wait until tomorrow. She pulled herself up into her chair and put her head down on the desk again until she’d gotten enough strength back. Her now cold tea was kind of refreshing, and helped to wash out the horrible taste of the potion. Sabercat eyes. She shuddered.

One thing down.

Chapter 3

Summary:

The Fellglow Library is probably the worst branch in the hold.

Chapter Text

Kaidan and Lydia left the watchtower with the guard shift change first thing in the morning, but went east instead of south with everyone else. The field’s colors were starting to turn so late in the season, and Kaidan mused that Starfall probably would have appreciated how much easier it was to see all the flowers and herbs. They gave a wide berth to the dark cave with unsettling noises of Falmer echoing out of it.

He finally got a good look at the dragon grave that Starfall had gone to investigate all those months ago, and found that there really wasn’t anything out of the ordinary about it. It was just a stone mound. They still had no idea what was causing them to rise up. Something more powerful than a master necromancer. Not really his problem at the moment.

A few hours east of the Falmer cave was a rundown fortress with a collapsed watchtower, and the two warriors hung back a bit so they weren’t immediately noticed. A lone, black-clad mage sat at the top, most likely very bored and hadn’t signed up for guard duty. Though why need a guard if they were only doing simple studies that seemed to require stealing library books? He knew there was little point trying to sneak past her; both he and Lydia were wearing heavy gear that they’d learned to tune out the various clinks and clanks from their movement. They’d get caught sooner or later. There was also something sort of ‘wrong’ about being the one to throw the first punch (or in this case, an arrow to the throat which would be much safer for the two of them). It wasn’t like they were bandits; they probably weren’t even that tough if they’d run away from or got kicked out of the college.

“Oi. Did your captain mention anything about dead or alive?” Kaidan asked.

Lydia shrugged. “Not really. He just said get rid of them. Whether that’s kicking them out or taking their heads off kind of depends on the situation.”

“Let’s see what happens then.” He carefully made his way closer, but stayed out of fireball range. “Oi! Mage!”

The Nord woman jolted out of her daydreaming and quickly turned to find him. “What are you doing here?! Beat it!”

He rolled his eyes. “Can’t. Looking for someone named Orthorn. Was told this was the last place he was seen. Need to talk to him.”

“What are you, stupid? I said fuck off!” She shouted and gestured her hand up in the air.

‘Godsdamned warlocks. Try to be civil...’ Kaidan thought to himself. He pulled his bow out and was about to just turn her into a pincushion when it quickly became very hot and bright just beside him. He jumped out of the way just as another mage and his flame atronach ran around the corner of the broken tower and started throwing fire.

Lydia already had her weapons ready, knowing full well they weren’t going to be hospitable and quickly ran up to bash the atronach in the face with her shield. It hissed like crackling wood at her and tried to wrench the shield from her grasp. She snatched it back and offered it a blade to the chest, instead. She was holding her own against the atronach, but it would have been a lot easier if her new shield was balanced and didn’t pull all the weight off to one side. She’d pried a lot of its torso armor off and it was bleeding lava quickly, but another slice across its face plate to knock it off, and it finally collapsed to the ground and exploded into a formless puddle of fire.

Kaidan ducked out of the line of fire of the mage on top of the tower. Okay, maybe they weren’t at the college for a good reason. The fire mage tried to get some distance by running to the middle of the courtyard, then started rolling orange flames in his hands. By the time he launched the fireball, Kaidan had exchanged it for an arrow. He put his arm up to shield his face, and was only mildly relieved that all the magic protection that Starfall had given him was working. Hot, but not actually damaging. The arrow pierced the mage’s leg, dropping him to the ground. Another two would go into his side and gut during the pause.

Kaidan knew Lydia didn’t have a bow so he’d have to take care of the mage on top of the tower. He leaned from around the crumbling wall to get a look. A fireball nearly blew his head off, but that just meant that he had a few seconds to shoot while she tried to get her magicka back. He tried again to aim and another two smaller fires erupted at his feet, making him jump backwards. Ah, so she didn’t have the same problem Starfall did, though these were simple fireballs while Starfall probably would have blown the entire keep off the map by now. One more time, then. This time though, before he could take a shot, the woman screamed and there was the sickening crunch of a body hitting the ground from too high up.

“What the?” Kaidan's eyebrows went up as one guard had been replaced with another; Lydia had snuck up behind the mage and shoved her off of the tower.

She waved at him and made her way back down. “She was too busy trying to pick you off, so I went around the front.”

“Good work.” He nodded and went to check to see if either of the bodies had any information like notes (it was too much to hope that they were just casually reading the books he needed while being lousy lookouts.) One did have some pocket change, but that was all. “Bah.”

“Hey, wanna go through the secret entrance, or bash in the front door? Honestly, even though it doesn’t seem like a great idea to start in the dungeons, there’s also some storage rooms down here to ‘confiscate’ from.” She walked over to a stairwell leading down under the broken tower and waggled her eyebrows.

He was ready to ask just how often the guards went around ‘confiscating’ things. Maybe Starfall should ease up on doing dodgy things while they were in town, even if she was a thane. “You’re the one who’s been here before. I’m sure you know all the good spots.”

“They probably moved the traps around, though.” She kept her shield up in one hand and opened the door with the other.

“Great.” Kaidan said.

*

Even though it was dry and bright outside, as soon as Lydia and Kaidan descended the stairs, they were in the dark and ankle deep in water. It was going to make a lot of noise as they sloshed through it.

“It’s fine. Not like we’re spies on a stealth mission. Just need to be careful at corners.” She shrugged.

Kaidan trudged on behind her. All this water must have come from an aquifer, but the river was further to the southeast and much lower than they were at present. He watched as a fish spotted them and quickly swam away.

As soon as they found themselves in the basement hall with the fish, it flopped away scared, startling someone on the above balcony. A mage peered over the railing and scowled. “Ah. More test subjects!”

“Test subjects? Just what are they doing—” Kaidan’s eyes went wide as two giant spiders skittered along the wall and down the stairs. Oh, gods. Please don’t let Lydia be afraid of these things, too.

She was not. She quickly met them at the top of the stairs to get out of the water and bashed one backwards into a corner. They both focused on her now and tried casting webbing to slow her down, except the shield easily collected up all the sticky threads. Kaidan quickly remembered that mages usually equal ice and lightning and followed her up before he was electrocuted or frozen to the spot. She was handling the spiders, he’d need to take care of the mage before someone caught a spear or fireball to the back.

Kaidan rushed the mage, but before he could close the gap, the mage formed a spear and launched it where it was too close to be dodged. It crashed and crumbled against his chest plates, but the exploded shards wedged into the leather above the plates and under his chin, digging in like little needles. Kaidan shouted in anger and punched him in the jaw, and when the mage’s hands flew up to protect (what was left of) his face, the sword twisted into his gut. Hopefully this wasn’t that Orthorn idiot, not that anyone said anything about bringing him back alive. A few more seconds and he slumped over into a heap on the floor.

One of the spiders was already dead and crumpled upside down at the bottom of the stairs, but the second one seemed to only fight harder at seeing the other one and its master die. It hissed and spat at Lydia, waving its forelegs trying to get around her shield.

“Bad spider! No!” She kept hacking at whatever made its way around her shield until she was close enough to finish it off with a sword through its eyes. It popped off of the wall and flopped over in a heap. “Blech. You alright, over there?”

“Yeah. Little bit of cold, it’ll wear off inna few.” Kaidan rubbed his throat. “Concerned now, though. He meant to grab us up for experiments or something. I only came here for some books, not to wind up on a table or turned into a dog.”

“Commander Caius said they were mostly just a nuisance like bandits. But experimenting on people? Ugh.” The guardswoman rubbed her face on her arm, only to get spider threads across her face. “Damn it.”

Kaidan found a cloth on a nearby table and tossed it to her, which she accepted gratefully. Taking a minute to look around he found several stacks of books, and of course not one of them were on the list that Urag had given him. Just how many places did they steal books from?! Well whoever owned those, they’d have to come get them themselves; he was not dragging home an entire library as much as it would have delighted Star. And Lydia was right about there being lots of things to take. He doubted that Starfall would turn down a few free soul gems, while his immediate reward was an ale. He hoped none of these party trick idiots knew Daedric caliber magic or poisoned their own food, so it should have been safe.

Lydia raised her eyebrow. “Drinking on the job, now?”

“Believe me, one’s not enough to even give me a buzz.” He said idly and flicked the cork off.

“I’d suppose not,” she mumbled under her breath.

The stairs down led right into several traps, which they sidled around, some storage (which wasn’t as bountiful as Lydia had advertised,) and while they were expecting a prison in the basement of a keep, they weren’t expecting all the cells to be full. Some Dunmer and Nordic women were all sitting quietly in cells and fuming about how to best murder their captors. Then Kaidan got close enough to see the women’s faces clearly. The telltale nose crests and glowing eyes. Vampires. Shit. So much for a simple job. The woman in the closest cell put her finger to her lips, held up one finger and pointed to the other side of the room, then drew it across her throat.

‘Kill their jailor.’ He narrowed his eyes in suspicion. They obviously weren’t volunteers. But they were also a menace to the living. If these asshole warlocks weren’t feeding them properly, the second he let them out, he and Lydia would be bled dry.

Kaidan switched his sword for his bow and went around the corner. He could debate on what to do with them after their mutual enemy was dealt with. He moved quickly; his boots signaled his presence, but he was still able to nail the man’s skull to the table before he could fully stand up. Beside him happened to be the levers that probably opened the cells. Explanation first, then maybe a pardon.

“Oi. What is all this?” He asked quietly in case there were more of the mages nearby.

“A bunch of about to be very dead idiots. They took our entire clan while we were sleeping. I heard the screams of my sire a few hours ago. They’re dissecting us. For what, I don’t know. But if you let us out, we won’t hurt you. We only want to give them what’s coming to them.” The eldest Nord woman growled.

“Hmm. Lydia?”

She held up two fingers to the elder vampire. “One. We were never here. Two. I don’t want to have to come back here because this place will be emptied out in a few hours and you all moved in.”

“Fair enough.” The old woman nodded. “There’s at least three of them in the next room. Perfect as they’d been starving us...”

Kaidan braced himself and pulled the levers. All three cell doors creakily swung open, and the angry vampires stretched, nodded to each other, then burst through the door to the next room. A lot of shouting, screaming, and magic flying followed. Jump into the fray, or wait until the dust settled? Then he noticed that there was a big bowl of money and gems just sitting on the table with more books.

‘A few seconds to check this can’t hurt.’ He thought to himself as he made sure to stay out of the line of sight to the other room. Another emerald for his collection. None of the books were correct again, damn it.

“You think they’re going to notice we’re not in there helping them?” Lydia peeked into the room just as the flash of a fireball went off and nearly blinded her.

“Only if they turn out to be weaker than these assholes, which even starving vampires shouldn’t be.” He sighed, taking his bow out again.

She was about to move towards the room herself when she spotted movement out of the corner of her eye. The jailor that had been shot just a few minutes before managed to unstick the arrow from the table and sit up. She hissed at Kaidan, “Fuck, one of them’s a necromancer!”

Kaidan smacked his forehead and tried to quickly do the math. If one of the vampires did it, it was “fine”, as they only were only going to use the bodies to clear their escape. If the warlocks were willing to use each other as thralls, then they were going to have to start burning bodies or removing heads and just… gods damn it. He had her stand ready to take the corpse’s head off in case it immediately turned on them. The thrall didn’t even see them as it turned towards the door, crossed the threshold, tripped, and collapsed into embers and dust. A woman shouted her last at about the same time, and things became considerably quieter after that.

‘Starfall’s life sight would be handy about now...’ Kaidan thought.

“How did they escape?! Where is Delaine?!” The last warlock shouted from the other room, then came through the door. His answer came in the form of a shot through the throat. He was the last one to hit the ground.

‘Or, he could just give himself away.’

They carefully checked again to make sure the dust had settled, and the whole gruesome scene made Lydia want to just skip over that room entirely and keep moving.

“If you want to scout, fine. I still need to check for these damn books. …If they haven’t been completely burnt up.” Kaidan mostly ignored the slaughter. Not counting the four warlocks and three vampires, there were several male corpses laid out on tables and trapped in torture implements like cages and racks. He was trying to be good and not openly curse magic users because he could tell that Starfall was getting tired of it, but she’d have to agree that this was evil.

Whatever wasn’t covered in blood, was burned or frozen, including a bookshelf off to the side. The vampires obviously had nothing but dust, so he didn’t bother. Lydia chose right, then. He caught up with her a few minutes later.

“I think I found Orthorn,” she whispered. There was another set of prison cells on this floor; one of them held a young, pouty High Elven man in scholar’s robes sitting on the ground and complaining at his jailor. The other cells held a pair of wolves; most likely still feral judging by the way they carried on at growling and pacing in circles.

“This isn’t fair! I did what she asked!” The scholar whined.

“Except for refusing to stay out of the way and keep your damn mouth shut.” The other mage sighed. “For the love of the gods, shut up!”

The jailor seemed to be by himself again, so Kaidan nocked another arrow and shot him in the head just as he rounded the corner and spotted him. Unfortunately, he fell over the lever panel he was pacing around and his weight opened all of the doors. The wolves immediately bolted out of their cells and went straight for him and Lydia. The mage yelped and pulled his cell door shut again in case the wolves remembered he was there.

“Damn ungrateful...” Kaidan bashed one in the face with his bow, stunning it long enough for him to snap its neck, while Lydia took on the other one and stabbed it in the jugular.

“Oh, thank the gods! You’ve got to help get me out of here! They’re going to do something awful to me!” The young Altmer man started to push his door open, only to find that it had relocked itself when he pulled it shut. He stared at the levers in the center of the room and started to hit his head on the bars.

“Oi. You Orthorn?” Kaidan went over to check before opening the gate again.

“Yes! Did the Archmage send you to come check on me?”

The mercenary hesitated. “...Technically. Because the librarian said you stole a stack of books and they want them back.”

“Oh,” he frowned. “Oh, dear...”

“Looks like that worked out well for you.” Lydia snarked.

“About those...” Orthorn pointed his fingers together. “Look. I know I shouldn’t have taken them. But if you get me out, I can help you get them back! Just don’t leave me here!”

Kaidan growled and ran his hand over his face. “I don’t like the way you’re making it sound like it’s going to be even more of a pain in my arse trying to get them back than it’s already been. I was just sent to pick up a handful of books and a good dozen people are dead already, including a bunch of vampires.”

“So... The Caller. She’s been trying to summon—”

“Oh bloody hell, if you say Daedra...” Kaidan already knew it was coming.

“...Yes? She took the books and then threw me in here. I think she’s trying to figure out the strength of offering—”

He groaned and opened the cell door. “Not a warlock, don’t know what you’re talking about. Just take me to her since she’s got the books.” What happened to a simple job?! Star wasn’t even here with her curse to make it worse!

“Fine! Fine. Okay. She’s on the top floor.” Orthorn hesitated, but carefully made his way up the stairwell only to stop and turn around. “They locked the door. We have to go the long way up.”

“Of course.”

The mage ran around trying other doors until he found a storage closet with even more books, spare enchanted clothing (Kaidan realized that the white ones that Starfall had bought were ruined, but he didn’t know what size she was other than very short and soft around the everywheres), and some of their money reserves. A few more closets and maybe this trip would be paid for. The hallway it was in wound up and down and around until several voices talking and screaming were heard. More torturing people. A small explosion. Torturing people with fire.

Kaidan hid his eyes and hoped the shivering wasn't too bad. He growled quietly at Orthorn, “Don’t you people have anything better to do?”

The mage merely shrugged.

There were several people in the next room and there wasn’t a way for him to pick them off without being immediately noticed and mobbed. One of them called for a short break between whatever they were working on, and before he could move out of the way, one of the ‘students’ happened up the hall they were on. He gutted the woman, but not before she shouted in pain and drew attention.

All three of them rushed into the room now that their cover was blown, and found that they were in a target practice room. They were shooting at another one of the vampires trapped in a cage. Awful as vampires were, it was still twisted. Kaidan slashed across the (probably not a real) instructor’s chest just as he sent a wave of biting cold that stunned Kaidan and froze his feet to the floor. He grunted and ducked down to break himself out of it while the others finished off the last one.

Lightning crawled all over Lydia’s shield making her drop it, but Orthorn finally figured how to be useful and raised his own shield in front of her.

“Orthorn?! You traitor!” The warlock spat and changed her spell to fire hoping to eat through his shield quickly. The gouts of flame were dim orange and she quickly tired herself out before his shield expired.

“Traitor? You locked me up first!” He summoned bolts of lightning and passed them through her chest. She immediately spasmed and collapsed to the floor.

“What in the world made you want to run away from the college and join these jerks?!” Lydia asked.

“The Caller. I know her project sounds bad at first, but she has it under control! So when the gate opens and she kills the Dremora—”

No. Come on.” Kaidan quickly broke out of the ice and pushed them to get a move on. The last thing any of these damned fools needed was a Dremora running loose. Those things were a pain in arse to control and considering everyone so far had been a base amateur at best, there’d soon be a higher Daedra killing whoever was left, which would be them if they were still here looking for Starfall’s damned book.

*

Meanwhile, Violet had gone back to studying since she was feeling much better. She still coughed randomly and her medicine was slowly dulling all the noise and impulses, but the worst seemed to be over. There was a lot to be learned from all this, most of it painful. She had to keep better control of everything trying to tear her apart. Kaidan was trying to warn her about her temper, and it almost killed her. She’d said it herself over and over; she’d have to do better. Another journal was almost full; there was something gratifying about it even though it was mostly full of her complaining and dead-end theorem.

The books that Urag had lent her were only marginally useful. She couldn’t cross-reference much. Her only hope of looking anything up was Farengar, and she wasn’t quite up to going all the way across the city over the slim chance that he would have what she was looking for. She realized the irony of having spent nearly five months trying to cross Hammerfell and Skyrim just to get to the college. Then she remembered she’d learned how to teleport from Tolfdir. Except she’d only done it once, and it was incredibly unpleasant. Though half of that was nerves... and the other half was that fucking artifact. Well. You never get better if you don’t keep trying.

Violet flipped through her journal to where Kaidan had taken notes (‘wow, he wasn’t kidding, his handwriting is shite, er... shit.’) and if she read this right, the instructions were separate. Why weren’t they in here? Maybe magic that advanced was too much for him to copy exactly and not have them (her) wind up Elsweyr. Mirabelle would probably do a much better job at writing the instructions— He didn’t.

“Oh lords, where did he put it?” She ran her hand over her face. If he was thinking he could ‘protect’ her from herself or some nonsense… A quick check with her Clairvoyance spell led outside instead of somewhere in the house like she'd hoped. She suddenly realized her fist was shaking and her teeth were clenched, so she stopped and took a breath. “No. Don’t do that.”

Instead, she paced around the living room for a few moments. She was feeling better, and was well into getting herself back on track, and so could get back to work. Kaidan still didn’t really trust her fully (except when they were in terrible danger.) Not entirely fair, Sir ‘couldn’t find anything better to do than get suckered into a Daedric cult and probably stuck around for the murder orgies—’ She shuddered. No. Stop it. Besides, that was probably more Sanguine and Bal than Dagon.

Do something else, then. She sighed and went back to her studies, instead focusing on the Eye of Magnus with what she already had. Magnus was considered a (the?) god of Magic, but never really revered as such since he did not stay and wither with the rest of the Creators; most mages who even considered themselves devout either went with the conventional Imperial gods or at least Julianos. Julianos probably didn’t like her very much.

That awful thing in the Hall of Elements couldn’t possibly be a literal eye, though the sheer power emanating from it, its far-reaching effects, and from what Kaidan had described in her notes when Ancano had first opened it meant that it was either created by Magnus, related to him, or a tribute to him (but what civilization could possibly have created it?).

“Oooohhh... I hope this doesn’t turn into a Heart of Lorkhan situation. There’s a whole bunch of elves even dumber than me over there and I am not up for that,” she shuddered.

Violet had tried singling out and concentrating on the dragon who had attacked the college, but even after she’d killed it and absorbed its memories, all she got was a muddle of visions and sensations that probably meant it was something she wasn’t capable of understanding with a mortal body. There were a few things they’d imparted like that: immortality and the irrelevance of time, what various ancient entities actually looked/sounded like (she could see ancient Akaviri through a filter of murderous hate and they spoke gibberish so she didn’t ask again), flying (which made her simultaneously sick and ecstatic; she suppressed any future thoughts of being more than a foot off the ground), and their completely different relationship with magic.

As a mage, she could pull magic through herself and felt it that way, like breathing. Dragons... were made of magic? If that was what they were trying to explain to her. Their language was them calling their reality into being? Or something like that. Violet quickly waved all that away as she was getting off track again.

She bounced around from topic to topic for several hours, until fidgeting and boredom took over. Realizing that she needed something more stimulating than just reading and writing made her wonder if all the nerve-wracking horseshit she’d endured for the past several months wasn’t trying to become her new normal.

Kaidan said it would. She knew it would. It still turned her stomach.

“Bastard could have at least let me go see Tiku.” She grumbled as she wandered out onto the street and turned towards the market. “Should fill his pillow with rocks.”

Chapter 4

Summary:

Bad advice, and good advice.

Chapter Text

Up until he’d met Starfall, Kaidan almost completely traveled and worked alone. Teaming up with other mercenaries either wasn’t safe or necessary, and if he did have to partner up with someone like Jenassa (who he was friends with, but she still kept her distance), they worked in such a way that the whole job went quickly and seamlessly so they could be done with each other as soon as possible. Working with Starfall was a new (and honestly somewhat unpleasant) experience. On top of being simple-headed, she wasn’t given to any actual fighting (more like enact complete annihilation until the problem was gone), let alone being a mercenary. But at least she was ruthlessly effective and a quick study. Lydia already had fighting experience and she didn't complain as long as he didn't try to get her to carry a bunch of junk, so she was fine. ...But Orthorn...

“I understand now why they locked you up,” Lydia hissed.

The mage threw his hands up. “How was I supposed to know that skeletons could hear?!”

“They can see, can’t they?!” Kaidan shouted as he crushed one’s skull against its sarcophagus; the rest of the skeleton collapsed into a heap. And there were fucking necromancers here to boot. The college had better pay them really well for three books.

“…I, uh. Got me there. Look, I’m studying spatial planology, not necromantic biology. We’re not all the same!”

Obviously.” Kaidan turned to her. “Lydia, just how did you manage to clear this place out in an afternoon? Just how big is it?”

She was crouched behind the sarcophagus on the other side of the room to avoid being shot at. “Well there sure weren’t this many people, no necromancers, and after the seventh severe beating, the rest ran off! I don’t know why these ones aren’t running. And it’s a keep. A fortress. I mean, probably a third of it has collapsed from age, but we’re not even out of the basement yet and these places usually have at least three upper floors?”

…That still wasn't as bad as being trapped in an underground city of the dead.

“Uh… well, I passed through a bunch more rooms to get to the summoning circle on the third floor. And there aren’t any more labs in the upper floors of the keep, that’s things like lecture halls, meeting rooms, and dorms. We don’t have to go through all of those.” Orthorn swiped his hand downward in the direction of the last necromancer at the very front of the room. A portal opened slightly, but instead of a fire atronach stepping out, only one’s hand emerged, grabbed the necromancer by his collar, and yanked him back through. His scream was cut off instantly when it closed.

“A summoner.” Kaidan glared at him.

“In the broadest term possible, yes,” he sighed.

“Look, just… keep quiet and don't let that thing out. I don’t want that atronach running loose. Or at least choose a different one.”

The mage shrugged and took his place in the back. “It’s shown that fire atronachs are the easiest to control, plus the narrow hallways make it so a frost or storm atronach would get stuck—”

“Don’t! Care!” Kaidan grit his teeth.

“Alright, alright! But, uh, there’s a ‘summoner’s’ lab next door...”

The warrior took a slow breath and nodded. Going around the corner, he was braced for a bunch of big, lumbering, elemental monsters, only to get one of those ‘small’ ghost wolves sitting by the door. He didn’t mind them much as they were usually only used by lesser mages, and he easily dispelled it by slicing it in half. Killing it alerted its masters though, and two black clad mages looked up from their studies when it yelped and died. Seeing that needy, whiny mage out of his cell and following these intruders made them realize they were outnumbered now, and summoned more of the wolves.

Kaidan rushed the closest warlock by hopping over the debris in the middle of the room, and drove his sword through his chest, making the summon fizzle out before it could complete. The other woman at the front of the room had already called her wolf back again and Orthorn was knocked down from the surprisingly heavy ethereal animal pouncing on him. Lydia quickly bashed it off with her shield, impaling it with the spikes. Orthorn scrambled back to his feet and pulsed lightning through the mage, making it jump from the summoner to his summon, taking them both out.

‘At least this one went quick and easy.’ Kaidan scanned the room for anything else while the others took a quick break.

“Just why does our thane need this book so badly?” Lydia asked, about to reach into a summoning circle lined with soul gems. Orthorn quickly grabbed her wrist, then blew out the candle in the middle before walking around to a slightly larger gem on the outside, grabbing that one, and handing it to her. Another went into his pocket.

“Don’t know. Not a mage. Nothing good, though.” Not to speak of the giant metal eye that hopefully hadn’t ‘broken loose’ and started turning Winterhold into blue slime or a dragon nest while they were gone.

“Well, it shouldn’t be too bad after this; I remember there wasn’t too much further to get to the top after the front hall up ahead.” She went ahead, took a peek through the door, and nodded.

The adjacent rooms were the dining room and dorms, just as Orthorn said. Kaidan grabbed another ale to drown his nerves. Both rooms were mostly empty or quickly emptied as everyone else had been “working” downstairs in the laboratories, save for the fire atronach left guarding the way to the library on the second floor. Kaidan pulled Lydia back just as Orthorn banished it, and the resulting explosion looked strange from their perspective off to the side. The fire appeared as cut off neatly by the portal it was sucked into. At least he was semi-useful that way, and he could identify some of the dangers and stranger things they found. He scooped up the sparkling grit the atronach left behind and identified it as fire salts; stuff was rare, too. Kaidan took some in the already empty ale bottle.

The library on the second floor was, ironically enough, the room with the fewest number of books in the keep. Most of the shelves were lined with junk and the books themselves had been borrowed and scattered all over. Whatever was left was either ratty, burned, or just flat out ruined.

‘Urag would have a heart attack if he saw this.’ Kaidan got to work quickly scanning what remained for anything worthwhile. He actually found one that he wanted to read and took that one, as well.

“I think we’re almost there, actually. Up the stairs and around the corner.” The mage checked up the hallway.

The long hallway past the library was lined with doors, and most seemed to be locked. None of them knew how to pick locks and nobody wanted to go through the extra effort of kicking them down, so Kaidan just shrugged and left them. The resulting noise from rifling through the unlocked ones was enough to alert anyone left, but not scare them off, much to his annoyance. A particularly nice suite (Orthorn guessed it was The Caller’s, and Kaidan wondered aloud if she had an actual name) turned out to be where she kept a few choice artifacts.

“Actually, I don’t know her name.” Orthorn rubbed his chin. “Or at least I’ve never heard anyone use it.”

“But you stole a bunch of books for her and ran after her trying to join her dodgy little cult school.” Kaidan rolled his eyes.

He shrank back. “When you put it that way…”

*

Belethor looked at Violet's shopping list and raised his eyebrow. “Uhh... are you sure you need this many?”

She nodded slowly and put two bags of septims on the counter to prove she was serious.

He smiled at them. “Ah. Alright, then. I can have all these for you tomorrow. But you might have to wait on the spices. The East Empire’s been having a bit of trouble the past few weeks with shipments and the war, and I hear the owner’s getting married soon…”

“Then don’t use them? Or do you have a contract with them?”

He scratched his chin. “Not necessarily, I suppose, but if you know of someone else who’s reliable, and right now of all times, I’ll take it into consideration.”

“Have a courier send the spice order to Sentinel, Hammerfell. Starfall Trading. The co-owner, Zalim will take care of the rest.” She wrote down the address for him and quickly scratched a small letter to pack with it. ‘I suppose pa will be interested to know I’m still alive, at least...’

“Starfall, eh? That’s the old, old, old name of the bay. It’s also your name.” The Breton checked her order again.

“Family name and business. I am not the one to talk to about business inquiries.” She said quickly, not wanting to get into any kind of unnecessary conversation with this man who was never more than a few seconds from getting slapped.

Belethor frowned slightly and shrugged, but was clearly already doing numbers in his head, anyway. “Suit yourself, but I’m always interested in new business opportunities! Hmm, we do have a significant Redguard community here now, so new imports would likely be welcomed...”

"Anyway, thank you. Other errands to run.” She quickly made her way outside.

“Do come back.” He winked at her as he kept counting her money.

As soon as the door was shut behind her, Violet took several deep breaths and ran her hand down her face. ‘Don’t scream, you didn’t kill him, you’re okay now…’

Maybe the fact that the Hunger and Power were getting stronger should be the next thing to look at. Thing was, she didn’t know what she could possibly do about it.

“Aye, he's sleazy, but you get used to it.” The guard idling outside of the shop snickered at her. “At least he actually has good deals.”

“I'm not sure if it's worth it.” Violet shuddered.

Since the Bannered Mare was right across the circle, she went in to see if it was crowded that evening. It wasn't yet, but it just made her hesitate at getting caught in there when the dinner crowd came in. The more she thought about it, the harder it was to find a reason to be in there.

Just past the Bannered Mare on the other side was the Temple of Kynareth. ‘No. NO. Remember the last time you were in a temple. And the time before that.’

‘Okay, but Dibella was because I was fuckin’ drunk and Talos didn't really have anything to do with the other.’

‘She’s going to preach at you.’

Violet hissed through her teeth.

“Just go see the priestesses. You look like you need someone to talk to.”

Violet turned to another patrolling guard that had somehow wedged himself into her business.

He shrugged. “Because you were staring in that direction and rolling your head back and forth. Also, you're new here.”

“What is it about Skyrim that the guards here have nothing better to do than to gossip?” A sharp reminder hit her that her best friend had been a guard up until she got frozen and crushed by a dragon.

“Have to do something between dragons, bandits, drunken brawls, and petty thieves.” He said.

Violet growled under her breath and walked towards the temple. Thankfully, the trip up to the Cloud District was a lot less draining than the other day. She didn’t see the priestess working on the flowers today, so she looked around outside for a few moments. The temple itself was one of the larger buildings in the city, alongside Dragonsreach itself and the giant, upside-down ship Jorrvaskr across the way.

‘Huh. Would have thought that Talos would have the big temple just like in Windhelm, the way there's a whole war over him.’ She looked over at the statue behind her. There was a loud preacher standing in front of Talos, shouting about elves or something. She wouldn't have cared if he wasn’t so loud. Just listening to him for a few seconds made her throat hurt out of sympathy. Him droning on without stopping helped greatly in getting her through the door.

*

The temple of Kynareth was the opposite of the temple to Talos in Windhelm. The room was bright and open from all of the stained glass windows and plant life instead of dark and claustrophobic in a half-ruined city. Water flowed through channels in the floor into four pools, which would have been a relaxing atmosphere if not for the people around the room being noisy in their pain. Since it was still daytime, she was expecting a few people to be around, and of course some temples offered healing services. A few ailing citizens were laid out around the room on benches, while Danica and another acolyte attended to them.

‘Maybe I should leave since they're busy…’ Violet frowned a little. Hearing the man closest to her groan and rock back and forth hit that part of her brain that barely got by in doing odd jobs with Kaidan. Be helpful. Distract yourself by focusing on others instead of yourself.

She firmly gave herself several admonishing taps to the forehead. ‘Don’t try to do other people's jobs for them, and for free, at that.’

“Oh! You were sitting outside the other day. Are you feeling any better?” Danica stood up from helping a woman who was now sleeping.

“I am. If you’re busy, I can come back later.”

“It’s alright. I can listen and heal at the same time. Unless you have other injuries apart from yesterday?”

“I’m working on them. I’m a healer, myself. It’s just… everything else is overwhelming.” Violet looked for a place to sit, but could only find a seat in the corner. “I needed to get away from my work for a little bit.”

“Ahh. Overwork.” The priestess nodded sadly. “I understand, it can be overwhelming when seeing so many people in pain and then there’s only one of you.”

Violet rubbed her face. “Especially when everyone’s both counting on me, and at the same time, hoping I fail, for some awful reason.”

“Hoping you fail? As a healer?” She asked incredulously.

Oh. Right. “Of a sort. Not the healing. My other duties.” She seethed.

“Hmm. Then it seems to me that these people shouldn’t be any of your concern, unless they’re actively hindering you.”

“Does trying to kill me count?” Violet laughed bitterly.

Danica frowned at her. “Your problems are a lot bigger than can be solved with some simple advice.”

“Oh, yeah.” The Dragonborn ran her hands down her face. “I miss simple problems so much, like that soldier isn’t healing properly because there’s still a tiny piece of poisoned shrapnel in his side. Just pick that out of there, get something to expel the rot, and he’ll be fine. I can fix things like that easily. Dragons...? Dragons. Gods. And don’t get me started on gods."

“What?” The priestess quickly looked down at the man lying in front of her. She had pulled an arrow out of him barely a day before and only thought the pain he was feeling was because the wound was still fresh. “How can you see that?”

Violet came over to the two of them and drew the sign for Death across the priestess’s vision. Danica blinked a few times, then studied the small, blue and black dim spot pulsing deep into his lower left side.

“Oh, dear!” She covered her mouth. “Let’s take care of this right away!”

“Yeah,” Violet sighed. “Do you have the proper medicine? I can go back down to Arcadia and put something together, if you don’t. And I feel like every healer should know how to see the amount of life or death in something, but it requires a bit of study into Alteration, of all things. You’d think that’d be in the Illusion school.”

Danica was already getting to work. “Interesting! And yes, I have the medicine here.”

‘Oh, good. Don’t have to move, then.’ She sat back down and stared at the bright, airy skylights. “I’m not going to distract you for this part. I just needed to get out of the house and gauge how I’m recovering. My housecarl and knight will be back in a couple days and I don’t want to hear about how I didn’t get anything done, ‘why are you still lounging in bed half dead?’ and ‘I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone!’ As if I could get into any trouble in the state I was in. If anything, he should be more worried that I’m feeling better and thinking about going on a quick side-errand before he returns to nag me some more.”

“I thought you said you weren’t going to distract me.” The priestess smiled as she returned from a side room with a lot of supplies, medicine, and bandages on a tray. “So you’re the new thane. That explains the other duties and the danger.”

Violet still thought it was far too much that she was now a noble with her own little court. Back home, she barely had enough business to hire an assistant. Probably could have used one, now that she thought about it. Would have prevented a few incidents. But then she’d have to contract an apprentice, and deal with the Mages’ Guild even more, and be a responsible teacher/mentor/authoritative source. Nooo, thanks. She snapped back to the present and winced when the man’s shout pierced her ears. She frowned as now her peace was gone. “Sorry. I’ll go.”

“Hopefully I’ll be finished in a short while. You can return, then. Though now I’m wondering where Ahlam is…” Danica paused and looked around.

As Starfall opened the door to leave, a Redguard woman came up frowning and looking right through her. On almost bumping into Violet, she came back to herself, slightly surprised and grimacing that she’d been so preoccupied that it was likely written all over her face.

“I’m sorry. Just trying to calm down after the day I’ve had. A bit of advice: don’t get married.” The woman held her hands up and stopped herself before getting further into it.

Violet nodded with that look of perfect understanding.

“By the Divines, not again.” Danica didn’t even raise her head from her work. “Ahlam. You’ve got to do something about this. He’s getting in the way of your work, your faith, and your happiness. And with some other grumblings I've heard around town, he might be putting himself in danger.”

Violet opened the door again. ‘Let me get out of here before this becomes my busine—’

The priestess nodded over to Violet. “As you can see, I’m busy right now, so maybe you can help… err… the new thane. You two might be able to help each other.”

‘Damn.’ The thane frowned slightly and would have words later with the part of her that told her to go to the temple in the first place. “I don’t think I’d be much help, as I honestly have no idea what Balgruuf was thinking when he gave me this job.”

“What are any of them thinking?” This new priestess sighed, then whispered. “And no, I don’t expect you to start solving problems if you’re the one coming here for a sympathetic ear.”

Ahlam followed Violet back outside, then pointed to the benches under the dead tree. “Danica called you the new thane. I vaguely remember there was a big thing over at Dragonsreach about a month ago. But it’s more likely that she was distracted and forgot your name.”

“She was busy healing, to be fair. And I wasn’t kidding when I said I have no idea what this thane business is. I’m just Violet. Everyone keeps thinking I need to be more than that.” She flopped down on the bench and tried to look for something to focus on.

“Well, don’t tell my husband. He finds out you’re a noble and it’ll take a crowbar to pry his lips off your butt.” Ahlam groaned. “But that’s why you came here. Everyone’s expecting too much. And from someone who only just got here. Let’s see. That accent is northeastern, but your name is imperialized. You’re smart, but forgive me, have been in a few accidents judging by the scars. Elinhir?”

“Huh. Not bad. I studied in Elinhir, but I live and work in Dragonstar. …Used to.” Remembering suddenly hit her all over again.

“You a refugee from the dragon attack there? Probably homesick either way. My family’s from Hallins.”

“Yeah. And so much.”

“Like a viper dumped into a snowbank.” Ahlam's south Bangkorai accent slipped through for just a moment.

“Have to admit, I’ve never been to Hallins.”

She smiled as she recalled fondly. “It’s even worse than west Alik’r. It’s all overdeveloped rocky mountains and scorpions, beetles, and spiders the size of dogs settling into any crack or hole they find, even better if it’s inside your house because the harpies can’t get in and eat 'em.”

Violet shuddered. “That’s pretty damn bad.”

“But at least it ain’t cold!” She laughed and Violet found herself giggling a bit as well.

Violet took a deep breath. “I was alright with being a healer. It wasn’t the best at times, but it was good, steady money, I was helping people, and I’ve studied hard at magic, and you know how some folks feel about that sh— mess. Though I’ve been told I need to work on my bedside manner. Instead, I’m here, hundreds of miles from home, bashing my head against walls, making my hair turn even greyer, getting yelled at by dragons every other week, I can’t have any friends because I can’t stay in one place or put anyone else in danger, I’m being judged by a whole bunch of people who need to mind their own damn business, and failure is not an option. It won’t be long before people figure out that I’m in over my head. I didn’t want any of this, but the gods themselves decided that it’s my turn to handle the biggest pile of horseshit since the Empire. So I guess I have to go be their, and everyone else’s, whipping girl.” By the end, her hands were shaking.

Ahlam simply stared with her eyebrows up. “Oh… and here I am whining about awful men.”

Men… Violet’s eye twitched. “My (‘friend, partner, accomplice, ethical center, advisor, brave and dashing knight, foil, source of constant frustration, pain in my godsdamned ass, motherfucking fake husband because of a misadventure involving a Daedric Prince’) …companion isn’t bad, but the ‘mysterious troubled past’ and projecting is starting to annoy me. But he’s an adorable grump so he can stay. Men are only my problem in that they keep underestimating how easily I can (and want to) send them to their gods. I can go do that for you if you want. I miss easily solved problems.” She held up her hand and lightning crawled all over it, clicking and snapping away.

“I don’t think even Divine Intervention could help Nazeem…” The priestess scoffed. “Kynareth takes care of good weather and crops, but not marriages.”

It took Violet a few seconds… “Do you live up that way with the insufferable fool who doesn’t know he’s not even the king of an anthill?”

Ahlam burst out laughing, which quickly dried up into a bitter groan.

“Oh my gods, honey, I am so, so sorry.” She pinched her temple. “But now I have to ask how in the world he tricked you into marrying him.”

“He didn’t used to be like this!” she hissed. “We got called up one day to get a thanks from the jarl about the last couple years of harvests and suddenly he’s the jarl’s best friend. Now we’re barely getting by in the Cloud District because obviously we have to live there and not in our house on our farm. He is a farmer. I am a priestess. We do not have Cloud District money. The delusion! Like something snapped in there!”

Violet blinked at her. “I will do this one for free, and I can make it look like an accident.”

She was in the middle of considering it when she remembered she was beholden to the Divines. “Didn’t Sister Pure-Spring say you were a thane?”

“And I said I don’t know what that means, other than I’ve been dragged into Balgruuf’s court just because I was also foolish enough to fix his dragon problems for free. I used to deal potions and healing on the north side of Dragonstar by the mines.”

“…And now you kill dragons.”

“I know! Does this look like dragon killing attire?!” Violet picked at her simple blue smock and pulled a little paper packet out of the front pocket. “No, this is ‘cutting up these herbs to go in my soup so I can relax properly’ attire. It’s comfortable and there’s no dragon blood on it.”

“Is cute,” Ahlam said.

“Thanks,” she said, her voice dying off.

“The pressure of all these things is weighing down on you. Sometimes the ones we depend on the most to help us, the gods, are the ones who cause us the most grief.”

“You allowed to say that as a priestess?” Violet asked mockingly.

“Truth's just like that sometimes; more important than platitudes and vague ideas of hope. You’re looking for direction or at least a way out. You’ve probably already asked the Divines and the gods and so many people, ‘why me?’ But it sounds like nobody’s been able to give you an answer. And I’m sorry I can’t either. I’ve heard Sister Pure-Spring recently tell the old tales of Kynareth teaching ancient Nords magic to fight dragons, but never anything about Redguards. Especially since we came well after and have so many gods watching over us.

“But the gods who seem to be responsible for your circumstance? It might be that they really did find you to be the exception to all the rules, as much as you wish it wasn’t so. They see all of us; our hopes, desires, potential, successes, and failures. And they can give a little push, but not much more since they already gave all they had to our creation. But they want us to succeed through every trial given by the world and everything in it. If they didn’t, they’d just take it all back.

“Every Redguard child knows about our greatest hero Cyrus, who was just a sailor, but had to take it upon himself to kill a dragon, travel beyond Nirn, and defy the Daedra, all because he loved his family that much. And here in Skyrim, the god Talos was once a man, and a man with faults at that… but don’t tell Heimskr.” Ahlam nodded behind her in the shouting priest’s direction and kept going.

“The funny thing is, the ones who just know they’re destined for greatness? They usually put the cart before the horse and then fail. Or they think they’re immortal or all powerful and are quickly shown that they’re not, then fail. Terribly. The ones who don’t aren’t given the time to think too hard on it, so they can just do it, whatever it is. Maybe it all seems sudden to you because… there isn’t enough time left.

“Whatever these dragons are doing back after being wiped out thousands of years ago? The oldest Nords who come through seeking comfort say that the dragons returning means it’s the End of Days. That sounds like we’re all pretty short on time. Unfortunately, that’s as much as I know about their stories. But you’re still here. You’re still surviving. You haven’t given up, and it’ll probably cross your mind a few more times. You said you can’t have friends, but I recall seeing your Outlander friend over at the Drunken Huntsman and worrying about you for the past several days?”

“What would a priestess be doing in the Drunken Huntsman?” And why was this town suddenly getting smaller and smaller that half the people here already recognized them from only a handful of times?

“Nazeem likes the cozier atmosphere instead of going to the Bannered Mare with the rabble,” Ahlam groaned and rolled her eyes up in her head. “Anyway, you also can come talk to me whenever. Not just as a priestess, but as a friend. Now you have two. And if Danica ever stops working herself to death and comes out of there, that’d be three.”

Violet realized that all of that had come from a priestess of Kynareth. Just as Kaidan had said. She put her head in her hands and doubled over laughing into a frustrated scream.

“And what picked you up so quickly?” Ahlam leaned over to see Violet better.

“The Outlander. My …lu'he. His name is Kaidan. Before we were forced to come back here, I tried to go all the way to Winterhold to get answers from the mages’ college. And he told me I should have come here first, but it didn’t make sense to me because I honestly wanted different answers. And he was right. He’s right entirely too often for his own good, gods damn him.”

'Ahhh… Ahlam grinned at that word. “They usually are. Just like we’re able to solve others’ problems, but not our own.” She sighed.

Chapter 5

Summary:

The Caller.

Chapter Text

Violet thanked Ahlam for listening to her and told her that if Nazeem ever got too bad, she could stay with her, or have Lydia let her in (or possibly knock him around a little).

The priestess giggled and said she'd have to remember that. "But Sister Danica is right, I have to do something about this, myself. Find some way to get him to see reason."

"Unfortunately, convincing people to do things is not my strong suit, or else I would have told all these fools expecting miracles to do their own acts of gods." Violet leaned back and looked up at the dead tree looming over her. It was sort of sad that the priestess inside seemed to take care of the little garden here in the city park, but couldn’t do anything about the tree.

"Have you asked the jarl what he even expects of you?" She asked.

"No, because then he'll actually come up with things for me to do and expect me to do them, when I already have too much to do on my plate. I'm only here right now because Winterhold was such a disaster that Kaidan dragged me back here while I was in a coma. As soon as I'm well again, I'm going right back over there so I can finish my research. And I'm not letting any other stupid distractions stop me this time." Violet’s face scrunched until she was fuming.

The priestess nodded as she got up. "And I need to get back to my duties since it looked pretty busy in there as I was coming in."

She snapped back to the present. "Sure. And thanks again. I need to get back and start on dinner."

Violet stretched and started back down the steps towards Breezehome. It felt pretty good to get that off her chest, and to have someone listen instead of judging for once. She met someone else far from home. Her voice wasn’t even particularly sore. No shouting. No distress. Very little anger, which was as much as she could hope for under the circumstances. The Power and Hunger didn’t have anything stupid to add. Nothing was life or death important right at that moment. Kaidan wasn’t worrying them both to death. She looked up at the sky starting to show the first faint stars after the sunset.

*

A very annoyed Altmer woman stared at the little group who had managed to derail weeks of progress in a single day. It's what she deserved for not going downstairs to put a stop to all that commotion sooner, really. But that would mean leaving this experiment right in the middle, and that would probably be even more disastrous. The black circle lined with candles and gems spun slowly and was quite dangerous; she’d just set the runes inside it before the door burst open and two complete strangers plus one nuisance wandered in.

"So, you're the one who barged in here and laid waste to my projects. How nice to meet you." The Caller leaned against the podium and rubbed her temples.

Kaidan scoffed. "At least someone here is willing to talk before trying to murder us. Wish we could have skipped all that other nonsense and come up here, first."

"Maybe because you all are trespassing." She rolled her eyes. "At any rate, what in the Eight do you think is so important that you're letting the test subjects loose and killing my assistants and students?"

"College of Winterhold sent me after the books this one stole. So hand 'em over." He pointed a thumb at Orthorn, who was trying his best not to be noticed.

She stood up and blinked at them. "Are you telling me that you're just one of Aren's lackeys? All this just for these books? Truly?! Well, that's... disappointing. You come here, kill everyone, disrupt my work... You've annoyed me, so… no. I don't think I'll be giving you anything. Out."

Kaidan ran his hand down his face and Lydia was about ready to just go over and bash her face in. She didn’t have anything against mages in particular, but the overbearing smugness just made her so punchable.

"All you lot had to do was give us three godsdamned books. How bloody valuable can they be?!" Kaidan shouted.

Orthorn was already turning to leave when The Caller stopped him. "Ah-ah. Not you. This is all your fault. …In fact… You know what? Outlander. You leave that one with me, and you can have the books. I think that’s a fair trade, don’t you?"

Orthorn froze. "Wait, what?"

"This little escapade of yours has cost me a number of test subjects and assistants. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to secure an entire clan of vampires? I only need one last test to finish this, and you'll do nicely." She smiled at him with entirely too much venom.

"But your thesis! The summoning! Oh gods, you wouldn't!"

"Why not? He gets the books, you get to stay here and assist me, which is what you came here for, and I can still wrap all this up. Everyone's happy."

"Summoning what?" Kaidan glared at her.

"I doubt a brute such as yourself would understand what it takes to efficiently hold open a portal without a sigil stone."

"Do not leave me alone with her." Orthorn said slowly.

Kaidan would have considered it if not for the fact that there was absolutely no reason for this woman to summon higher Daedra. "Maybe not, but I don't think you understand what you’re actually about to do. So no, you're not getting him, but we're still taking the books."

"Oh, good. And you're one of those high and mighty fools afraid of a little Daedra. They're just tools. Like so." And two large spell circles of Daedric energy appeared on the floor. Fire and ice atronachs rose up on either side of her.

Kaidan shuddered but quickly gathered himself. He grabbed two bottles from his belt and passed one to Lydia before she could jump into the fray. "Lydia, take the fire one, again. Orthorn, if you don’t want to die here, take the ice one. The Caller is mine."

A quick glance around the room revealed there wasn't really anywhere to take cover, but he'd finally found the books in each of the alcoves around the circular room. A stray spell would make this whole mission worthless. Damn it. As soon as his bow was out, the warlock turned herself to iron, ran behind her ice atronach, and used it to send blasts of ice around the room to slow all three of them down.

The three of them split up with Lydia trying to draw the fire atronach around the room, Orthorn holding a smaller aetheric shield in one hand and a fireball in the other, and Kaidan closed the gap between him and the Caller before the stinging ice worked its way past his enchantments. He ducked under and behind the ice atronach taking a swing at him and Orthorn, but before he could reach the Caller, she turned the floor to ice to throw his balance off. His boots were well suited for Skyrim’s harsh climate and he only stutter-stepped for half a second, but he kept his center of balance low anyway. His nodachi went to one hand and swiped in her direction, narrowly missing her side, but wedging deep through her wrist. A flick and she was pulled sideways to the floor with a very indignant scream.

Lydia kept her shield up against the volley of fireballs bouncing off of the heavy shield, though a few more and the shield would be too hot to hold onto. The black metal was already starting to glow faintly and she hadn’t even reached the atronach yet. The atronach suddenly tossed one high up in the air and in trying to dodge it, Lydia raised her shield as she backed away. The Daedra saw its opening, rushed up, and slashed her red-hot claws across Lydia’s front. Her guard’s armor was not enchanted and she only had Violet’s jewelry and potion, so the cold iron started to glow and melt while the fur and leather scorched. She gasped and retaliated by removing the atronach’s arm at the elbow. As soon as the limb hit the ground, it exploded at their feet, knocking the warrior backward another few steps.

As soon as Kaidan reached for the Caller to grab her, she clutched her working fist and disappeared. The ice atronach was in her place now, and he heard Orthorn shout as she pulled a dagger from her robes and jammed it into his dominant hand. Her own hand sealed itself with yellow wisps.

'Shit, she can telep—' Kaidan pushed off the ice and out of the way of the atronach getting ready to smash his face in. He always thought they were unsettling in that they made absolutely no noise whatsoever and didn't have faces. And now he was up against a Daedra that would take entirely too long to kill using his sword. It kept swinging and flailing in his direction; thankfully it was far too slow to catch him.

"Be a good little test subject and get into the circle before I really lose my patience!" The Caller grabbed Orthorn’s other wrist and was about to pull him in with her.

"Gods, no!" He shouted. He was just barely able to resist, though now one hand was out of commission. The spell shield went away and was replaced with crackling electricity, which he slapped her with.

The resulting crack of thunder made everyone in the room jump. But the more important result was that the Caller’s concentration faltered enough that she couldn’t teleport or control her atronachs, and Kaidan and Lydia could finish their jobs. Kaidan jammed his nodachi into the hip joint of the ice atronach and chopped it off, causing it to fall over. Its ‘head’ came off the same way, making it fizzle back to Oblivion.

Lydia quickly finished off the fire atronach by bashing the fire monster backwards until it was thrown off balance. Since cutting the arm off made it explode, she ran her sword through its belly and while getting entirely too close to the bubbling lava, swung it into the circle with the Caller. They collided and it bounced off of her aetheric shield.

Orthorn suddenly saw his chance to get rid of any evidence that he’d been there. A black spell appeared in his hand and he opened the portal by flicking one of the filled soul gems from downstairs into the center.

Kaidan heard the deep growling noise, the rush of hot air, and spun towards it. "What in Oblivion are you doing?!"

The circle flashed and before the Caller could get out of it, she and the atronach were restrained to the center.

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you… whatever you were planning!" Orthorn exclaimed as he poured all of his magicka into keeping the circle stable.

"Then why are you opening it?!" Kaidan rushed over and hesitated between letting him finish, and putting a stop to the spell by putting a stop to this idiot for good.

"I’m not opening it… Much?" He put his concentration back into controlling the spell and wards.

"You idiot! Let me out! You don’t know what you’re doing!" The Caller screamed at him. She tried to counter the spell, but wasn’t fast enough. A spinning black and red void opened up, just large enough that the Daedra and its master were pulled through the floor by desperate, grasping, clawed hands.

The portal spun faster and faster until all at once, it disappeared with another deep groan and the stone floor was back to normal. The Caller’s voice was cut off just like the explosion downstairs.

"Apparently, I do." Orthorn panted and clutched his bloody hand to his chest.

Kaidan had to stop and breathe. Nothing had come through. All the Daedra and their summoners were gone. He was cold again and his chest and back hurt. They were probably staring at him. He rubbed his face and took a deep breath. "Lydia, grab the books. Let’s get out of here."

Lydia came up to them with the small stack and Kaidan checked them to calm himself. ...Urag was just lucky they were coming back at all. The one that was probably most important, The Night of Tears, must have taken a stray blast of frost. The pages were a little wrinkled from water damage. Starfall probably wouldn’t mind. She didn’t exactly treat hers with kid-gloves, what with her stuffing them with junk and flowers and marking them up.

"Well, you got what you came for." Orthorn cleared his throat and turned to leave. "Don’t know if you’re going back to the college after this, but uh… I’m going to go… wait somewhere else for a while. Let this whole thing blow over, you know? Give everyone a chance to forget this whole thing. Still, you've gotten me out of a big mess, and I won't forget it. Thank you."

As they were on the top floor, there shouldn’t have been anything left for them to go through, but Lydia still found herself curious about the door on the other side of the room. It was just a closet and trap door. Having a quick scout ahead, she came back and told him she'd found the main hall as Kaidan was pulling an impressively large bag of money ('guess funding an entire "school" isn’t cheap') and an enchanted elven glass sword out of the pile of junk in the corner. It was much nicer than the plain standard issue that Lydia had, so she tied the scabbard to the other side of her belt. He told her that Starfall could appraise it once they got back.

Before heading out, they checked themselves for injuries and went through the large assortment of potions that Starfall had packed. The enchanted jewelry worked like a charm (Kaidan groaned at Lydia for that), though there were still bruises, slight burns, and frostbite. It looked like she’d set them up as if they’d be gone for an entire week instead of three days. At least none of them cracked through all the ridiculous action. It was bloody stupid how much effort that was.

Lydia sighed with some relief as she drank the actually not bad healing potion. "Hey, if it's not too late out, I want to make a quick stop on the way home. It's actually on the way back to the main road at the bottom of the hill. It just wouldn't have made sense on the way over since we would have been seen coming from that direction. Or are you worried about our thane?"

"Depends on what it is. And just call her Starfall. …Or Violet, I suppose. She hates titles." The second one sounded weird and wrong on his tongue. Didn’t sound very Redguardish, either. Not that 'Starfall' ever did.

"Nothing major. There’s a little shrine to Talos hidden away from the city… and Heimskr, that loud, annoying preacher. It's probably Whiterun's best kept secret. Ten minutes tops while I thank Talos for keeping our hides safe through all that. Mages… are kinda nuts…" She realized that her boss was part of that group as her voice died off.

"No, no. She's well aware."

"Still doesn’t feel right."

"Don’t worry. After a while, you’ll be picking fights and she’ll burn up your nerves too." He shook his head with just a hint of a smile.

*

Violet sat in her little study at the back of the house, picking at stew-sopped bread in one hand and scratching out equations with the other. Since stupid Kaidan had taken the most likely easier instructions on how to teleport, she'd have to make do with the hasty ones she'd taken from Tolfdir at Saarthal. She looked over her shoulder, tried to eye a few measurements of the room, then went back to writing. Good thing Kaidan couldn't understand planar notation or he probably would have taken them, too.

"Too small. Might have to use the space behind the house." She mumbled to herself. There wasn’t a space big enough in the house that she’d be willing to draw a portal and have enough clearance if she needed to do something like bring something large and unwieldy back (though certainly not a whole ass ancient artifact of unknown origin that was nothing but trouble).

Could she, theoretically, by saving hours and days of travel, go and get Azura’s dumb fetchit before Kaidan came back? She grabbed her previous journal and flipped to her conversation with Nelacar, trying to feel out the details that would also speed things up a bit. It was someplace along Lake Ilinalta, nearby where she and Kaidan had rested after Bleak Falls Barrow. There didn’t seem to be much of anything on the other side of the lake save for a sawmill, and there was only a small island in the middle. She didn't get to go explore the far end of the lake that was obscured by part of the mountain sliding into it. Had to be there, then. Her map showed the lake as much longer than it seemed from where she could see from the ground. There was a whole fortress on the other side. Must've been hidden by the trees.

A quick look around the back of the house revealed plenty of space, and even a little bit of privacy; there was nothing behind the house except for the city wall and a little shack that she'd never seen anyone enter or exit in the days that she'd been in town. She burned a plain circle into the rocky grass to visualize the outline, careful not to catch anything else.

'This should work. And it’s stable. And safer than inside.' Violet nodded and went in to grab a bit of paper, bringing it back outside with Tolfdir's instructions. She obviously had no intention of doing it right that second, but it would be better to do a bit of preparation now instead of wasting a good part of the morning trying to figure all of it out.

"…Wait. There isn’t going to be anyone here for my delivery from Belethor. Damn." She closed the book and clenched her fists, her nails digging into the leather cover. "Think…"

She knew full well that if she didn't leave before Kaidan got back, he'd try and discourage her from going, not understanding that she'd already healed and cured herself. Mostly. At any rate, now was the best time since this was as close as they were going to be to Bleak Falls again before going all the way back to Winterhold. If not, it was just going to languish, or they could move the artifact and she’d have no idea how to track it after that. No one ever told her if Azura was patient or not. To be honest, she didn't seem nearly as horrible as the whole Daedric Prince title usually hinted at. For one thing, she seemed to care about the little mortals who adored her. On the other hand, the thief's punishment of gradual insanity and waiting to get hunted down instead of just getting a quick death by smiting was petty.

'I can do petty.'

There was also a bit of that freedom like in Saarthal where she could be by herself and let off a little steam at stake. But then again, Kaidan was her pack mule, so she wouldn’t be able to carry as much. She didn’t even realize she was pacing around in circles, in her backyard, in the dark, while she was trying to retool the plan.

"Maybe if I go and bother him, Belethor will bring everything by first thing in the morning, which would still work if I left right after…"

Chapter 6

Summary:

FAST TRAVEL UNLOCKED.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

A short rest outside to catch their breath, and Kaidan finally relented to Lydia's request. He followed her to the bottom of the hill outside Fellglow as the sun started to ease over the horizon.

"That could've gone much worse, I suppose," Kaidan sighed. "We're both still in one piece. Got what we came for. 'Confiscated' enough to compensate if the college doesn’t recognize how much work it took to get these back. Stopped an incredibly stupid and dangerous attempt to summon Dremora."

"You never said what 'ungodly horrors' our thane… Violet attracts." Lydia looked around, glad for the fresh air and last rays of sun after spending all day in that stuffy, dank keep.

'Mostly dragons. Undead who worship dragons. Undead dragons. The lich that drove us back here to lick our wounds. Daedra. Not sure if today's vampires count since she’s not here."

"Maybe it's you, then," she mused.

"No, because none of this happened before I met her," he scoffed, then remembered his ex and quickly changed the subject. "Anyway, how did you wind up in Balgruuf's court?"

She shrugged. "Nothing half as incredible as your adventures. I think I'm a decent fighter. Wanted steady money instead of contracts with the Companions. Sort of glad I chose before the civil war started or else I likely would have gone off to fight. And as for being part of the court rather than a normal city guard, you just have to already know someone in. And that's all I can say about that."

"Fair enough."

Just as the light was gone, they came upon a little alcove carved out of the south side of the Falmer cave. Clusters of candles illuminated a shrine to Talos and piles of offerings. Money, armor, weapons, food, and flowers were piled around the bronze axe and the god-king's feet.

"Guess today was eventful for a lot of people." Lydia put her pack down and dug around in it for her offering.

"Betting not half as ours was." Kaidan sat on one of the benches and kept watch. The rushing river below made it a little harder to hear anything coming and the dimming light wasn't ideal either, which made him rely on his other senses more.

"I dunno…" Lydia held up a steel helmet with one of the ram horns broken off and split open at the top.

He yawned and pointed to the melted gash just below the center of her breastplate. "Maybe we should've waited for first thing in the morning."

She poked her finger into it. The atronach had almost burnt completely through the metal and underlining. There was probably still a burn mark on her skin, though the salve Violet packed worked well enough it didn't hurt. "Ugh. Adrienne’s going to give me a mouthful; she’s already full up on wartime orders. And I need to reline my boots and pants, too."

"You still held your own damn well against Daedra, undead, and several mages. Impressive. You fought any of that ilk before?"

"I think the fire Daedra are just expected with any kind of mage just because they easily scare off most people. It helped that Farengar was a bit helpful in teaching some of us how to fight them whenever he could tear himself away from his research. Skeletons and thralls? Actually never seen that kind of magic before, and I probably wouldn't have done too great if those vampires had turned on us. I hear those things are fast."

"They are." He shuddered, then left it alone so she could say her words to Talos and go.

She was about to put a small purse of their take at the shrine, when Kaidan sensed something moving nearby and smelled a storm coming. His bow was in his hand before he was even on his feet. Lydia heard him unlatch his bow from his back, but also saw the smooth, shifting movement of light and air off to her side. Her hand flew to her regular sword, but she wasn't quite fast enough before an High Elven man in a black uniform and iron flesh appeared beside her and grabbed her wrist.

"You Nords have had so many warnings," the man chided her, his hand crawling with thick, hard-packed ice. "And yet, you're the sixth we've caught today."

Kaidan already had an arrow trained on him and fired when he noticed that the Thalmor didn't seem to care about his presence. 'Where’s the other one—'

An arm reached from behind him and put him in a choke hold, pulling him backwards. A grating voice laughed as a thin, jagged blade slipped through the leather armor under his raised bow arm and into his chest. "Doubt an Outlander knows the first thing about the false god, but aiding and abetting and all that."

At the same time, the limb tip of Kaidan's bow swung back over his shoulder and shoved the Thalmor off and away from him with a sharp yelp and a lot of cursing on the elf's part. Moving like that hurt surprisingly little… because the blade was poisoned and his side was already going numb. Fuck! Kaidan already missed the keep with the pain in his arse mages. At least they were shite at magic enough he didn't really have to worry about nearly any of them. Thalmor, especially Justiciars, fought dirty and knew how to make every moment with them the worst of your life. These sons of bitches had to die now.

*

Lydia saw the arrow pin the Thalmor mage's arm to his side and heard his shout, then heard Kaidan shout, which shook her into action. Kaidan mentioned that their thane had a nasty temper (and going by how she'd killed all those dragons, Lydia believed it), so it probably wouldn't end well for anyone if she had to get out of her sickbed to come rescue them (or retrieve their corpses). Violet was definitely attached to him as much as they were always needling each other.

She pushed down the pain of the ice locking her joints up, grabbed her new glass sword with her other hand (iron wouldn't cut it against more iron, even if it was only as thick as a layer of skin), then grabbed his wrist right back so he couldn’t retreat and sliced his belly open. He clutched the wound and retaliated by passing an ice spear clear up her forearm. That finally got her to let go.

'What was that about being a decent fighter?!' The whole thought had swearing and screaming drowning out every word. But one arm was still working, and now that it wasn’t crossed over her body, her sword also found its way between ribs. The sword went much, much deeper into the mage's chest, and twisted thrice for good measure. One for Talos, one for her arm, and one for Kaidan. She didn't expect the bright crack of lightning explode out from his chest and blow her backwards away from him.

*

While Kaidan could wield his nodachi with only one hand, it obviously wasn't ideal. Not that any part of this was. The bow was useless except maybe to guard, and he couldn’t even move his arm now to put pressure to the wound. It was already getting kind of hard to breathe. Starfall had better be healed up enough to fix this…

While the justiciar was getting back on his feet, Kaidan dropped the bow and grabbed his sword. Seeing his attacker now, he was in that fuck ugly gold and malachite armor. Despite it looking light and brittle, the armor was incredibly durable. And with certain magic, it didn't matter that it reflected every speck of light and clicked and scraped with every movement. What did matter was that the only places that were easily vulnerable were his face and throat. The elven rogue had a glass dagger in his hand and the other clutched what was left of his face. At least he had range on his side, as long as this bastard didn't come at his now paralyzed side. Which he would.

"Makes me think you've been stabbed in the back a few times before. And that I should have planted this in the back of your neck. Damn." The Altmer spat. Blood flowed between his fingers from the gash along the length of his face. He threw his dagger (which Kaidan easily deflected) and used that tiny distraction to summon a Daedric sword for some extra reach.

Kaidan only glared back. At least they were there to kill them instead of abduction and interrogation, again. The maiming they did trying to subdue without killing often just frustrated them enough to take it out of your flesh later.

Kaidan held his sword pointed down in a defensive position to protect his side, but dodged out of the way of the charge at the last second. One foot slid dangerously close to catching the tip of his own blade and his limp arm caught just a graze of the Daedric sword, but he was able to swipe the justiciar's leg out from under him. The second the elf hit the ground, the nodachi followed and slipped in between his collar and helmet, going right where the damned idiot told him to put it.

Brynjar had said that his mother liked to do that move, and that he thought it was too risky to pass on to him. Kaidan would have laughed if he didn't feel the paralysis poison wearing off and his chest catching fire.

"Lydia?!" He coughed. He'd heard her scream and hoped she'd be able to hang on long enough for him to help her. But with the poison wearing off, so was his adrenaline, and the dizziness had him nervous.

"I'm… alive…" She didn't sound too sure or happy about it.

She was making her way over to him with her bag, though he wondered what she expected him to do with the same problem of only having one working arm. He stumbled to his bench again and flopped down beside his own pack.

'Thank the Nine that Star packed an entire apothecary shop for us.' He pushed himself to move faster before they both bled out.

"As much as I'm trusting your judgement here, I don't know if they're fast enough to work before this finishes melting and then I'm done. And even if I do figure it out, that …was… my sword arm.' Lydia knew not to pull the spear out yet despite the pain, but it was still melting quickly. She grabbed a roll of bandages and tied her upper arm up extra tight using her teeth.

Kaidan already had two bottles out and braced himself. Antidote first, even though the numbing poison was keeping him from feeling so much worse. "Starfall has a scar… in the same spot for a close reason, and she… can still wield her magic and spears. She should… be able to fix—!"

Starfall lied! She'd said she was able to improve the taste of these things! 'Don't spit it out, don't be sick, don't die just from the taste…'

Seeing Kaidan instantly turn green and try to keep his stomach down was not helping her fears that they were still in serious trouble, but it still had to be better than bleeding to death. 'At least they didn't poison me, I suppose.'

A few seconds after it hit her stomach, she felt that healing itch completely take over the pain from the spear and her body divert all of her energy to healing. It was mostly melted now, but her arm wasn't going to heal all the way until she finished pulling it out. She groaned, "Uhhh, can you…?"

Kaidan was busy using two large healing potions to wash out the taste of the antidote. "A second…"

She picked at the spear herself, but pulling on it made her flinch and get frustrated with herself. "The jarl's going to want to know that the Thalmor have been hiding here murdering people. The sixth today? And how long have they been hiding out here? And there are shrines like these to Talos all over Skyrim. Shit…"

"If he doesn't already," he muttered under his breath.

"He does not take the Thalmor lightly. Thing is, he knows that neither side would be able to protect the city from the other." She shook her head.

He turned to her. "Get another potion, drink it now… and give me your arm."

Lydia wasn't squeamish, but she still turned away from looking at it as he gave a sharp jerk to the now dark red spear. She quickly had to cover her mouth to keep from drawing any other attention. There was far less blood than she was expecting, but more than she’d ever lost as a guard. A few minutes more, and the only marks left were two ugly bruises and scars.

"Like she bottles up her own life-saving magic. And makes it taste like it's going to bloody murder you, instead." He pitched the ice into the grass. The temptation to just lie on the bench and sleep was near overwhelming. "Not sure I can make it back… to the farmsteads right now."

"Well it's not exactly safe to stay here out in the open with the Falmer right around the corner. Other than going back to the keep, I don't know what choice we have. If we don’t pass out, we probably wouldn’t make it back to the farmsteads until morning."

"Probably the best thing to go back, sleep this off, and try again in the morning. Starfall won’t mind us being gone one more day. Plus, the keep’s empty. Lock the doors. Clear out all the dead, take over and forge a deed, make Starfall actual nobility, and she would punch me if I suggested that…" He tried to chuckle and realized he was still very sore as he spat out blood. Ah. Nicked the lung. Damn shit elf.

"You mean she wouldn't want a big, empty, quiet castle already full of free books and magic equipment?" She stood up and winced. Being a steward wasn’t so bad, just a bit boring.

"Which she would never get to use because she's trying to stop whatever's happening with the dragons, and knowing her luck, a dragon would demolish it while we're off somewhere doing gods know what."

Lydia quickly snooping through the Thalmor agents' possessions turned up more gold (likely taken from the other victims) that Lydia tossed a share of onto the altar along with their heads. The note on the inquisitor was a small relief that it seemed to be a general directive to stamp out any Talos worship instead of them specifically looking for Kaidan and Starfall. He also noted that Elenwen's stamp was on it. She was the head of the Thalmor presence in Skyrim. Didn’t that bitch have anything better to do than to murder a bunch of farmers?

He leaned on her as they trudged back up the hill to the keep, and on barring the front door and the doors to the basement, raided the kitchens and took some of the food and most of the alcohol. Lydia questioned if that was safe after they both suffered as much blood loss as they did, and Kaidan shrugged and kept drinking. Since all of those mages were mostly in the basements and laboratories, they didn't have much trouble finding empty rooms to crash in. There was no sign of Orthorn and they were perfectly fine with that.

"Do the Thalmor count as ungodly horrors? Because that's another case for the problem being you." She asked as they sat in front of a fireplace.

"One, no, they don't, as horrible as they are. Two, it is not me. And three, you're the one who asked to go visit the shrine." He realized his tone had taken a sharp edge and he sighed into his mug. "It just seems like it because now it's my job to actually get involved with all of it. And hers too."

Lydia just stared into the fire as her mind wandered. He said she'd held her own well, but that was just a lot of annoying wizards and a few common monsters. Those were nothing versus the dragons that the western watchtower and Riverwood guards described. And travelling with someone who could drop an entire building on one to kill it, or divert a river, or take on a horde of undead and a lich by herself. Who very likely would not have suffered something as trivial as being ambushed by a couple of thugs, if Kaidan's story of their initial escape from them was any indication. Of course she hadn't actually spent much time with… Violet. Hell, she still had to remind herself of her name.

*

Violet was awake bright and early to finish preparing everything, and wondered if she should just go check on her order by going by Belethor's as soon as he opened. She’d gotten a lot of work done after she'd cemented her plan, though she was realizing now that there was more than a bit of spite and pettiness in all of this rather than the urgent need to be productive. He did tell her to get out of bed and go outside. Except this was the first stretch of rest she'd had since… since… the last time she was grievously injured.

She swore at herself again, which turned into that seed of doubt that she shouldn’t be doing what she was doing. But if she didn't, she'd just be angry at herself later for not doing it, angry for waiting until everyone came back and needing a break while she'd already had hers, losing the momentum, and just giving up and going back to Winterhold without it, making sure that it wouldn't get done for at least several more months.

There were already far too many things on the 'not going to get done soon if ever' list. She was leaving today.

As she was bottling up the last few doses of medicine for herself and yawning her way through writing an instruction letter, there was a knock at the front door. It reminded her to come back to the present, which then made her wonder what time it actually was. It wasn’t especially bright outside of her study window. Early morning. Hearing the knock a second time finally pushed her to actually move away from her desk. It hadn't been that long since people saw fit to pound down her door at all hours because they were sick (or needed a fix). But it couldn't have been that; she hadn't advertised, and wasn't going to.

A Nordic man had a small cart in front of her house and was pulling a large crate from the back.

"Violet? I'm Sigurd; got your order here from Belethor. Though looking at the receipt, you probably could have used all these last night and not this morning." He shrugged.

"Better now than later, though." She said and looked at the receipt, then helped him drag it up the stairs to sit between the two bedrooms.

"I’d also be careful opening it up. It's all packed in there tightly," he cleared his throat. "Don’t put your face directly over the lid."

"I'll just leave it until I can get some help with it. Not all mine, anyway. Thanks."

As soon as they were finished, Violet went to go get the rest of her things together. It took half the night and a lot of "guesswork" from the map she had, but she was somewhat confident that she wouldn’t wind up creating a disaster. The scaling, numbers, and portal creation weren’t the difficult part, it was likely going to be seeing if she could do something as stupid and dangerous as creating two portals (something she'd only done while drunk and couldn't overthink it, or with help) so many miles apart to a place that she'd only been to once before.

"Bag's packed. Left note. Have to use my old destruction robes and buy more robes again once I get back," she grumbled, then stalled for several minutes more.

When she went around to the back of the house to her teleportation ward, she checked her notes a fifth time, drank what felt like too much tea made of seagrass pods and spriggan (Kaidan's insinuation somehow managed make it taste even stranger), and replicated what Tolfdir had explained to her (Sanguine's instructions were similar, but made a lot less sense through the drunken haze). Several seconds of concentration rewarded her with a bright, circular window pasted against the back of the house. It showed a patch of lakeshore with a bit of a mountain sliding into it. It sort of looked familiar? It had been a few months since she was last there, to be fair.

She knew that she gave herself a bit of clearance so that she didn't bump into anything, and on touching the distorted air and light, dropped a short ways onto soft, wet silt with a tiny yelp. Make sure everything was where it was supposed to be with a lot of patting. It was. Boots were a bit soggy, though. Could be so, so, so much worse. She quickly got her journal out and looked around. The lake with the little island in the middle. The mountain in front of her was snowy on the top and she could see the giant ancient building covered in broken arches. That was Bleak Falls. Even Kaidan's little tent was sort of still there, looking much worse from the elements. Honestly, she wasn't sure it would still be there, even though that was the memory imprint she used to mark the waypoint. She checked her map against her surroundings, made several notes, and closed the portal behind her. She'd done it.

Her loud, mad, uncontrolled cackling echoed off of the mountain.

*

"Sounds like someone's taking my advice. Good for her." Anise (1) nodded sagely and kept chopping vegetables.

Sig mimicked her.

*

"And now for the shit part." Violet’s head, shoulders, and posture slumped over. The moment was already gone.

Notes:

(1) Book 1: Chapter 16.

Chapter 7

Summary:

A B C D E F G.

Chapter Text

It was late morning by the time Violet finished climbing rocks and navigating trees to Fort Ilinalta. She stood on the docks, staring at the stone ruins. The map said there was a fort here. It didn’t show that the fort had slid off the mountain and sunk so far into the lake that only the watchtower was still above water.

'Would anybody be stupid enough to still be down there? What if a wall collapsed? They'd all drown in minutes. But I guess it would work to deter people who'd be smart enough not to go down into a sunken ruin.' She groaned and scouted around, checking if there was another way in or anything useful by the shoreline. The smaller tower had a roof hatch and that was it.

'At least it's just a fort and not wandering around in a barrow. …Unless this is recent and everyone’s already drowned horribly, making this an underwater tomb.' Violet paused and growled at herself a moment before very carefully climbing down the hatch.

Ilinalta's Deep was cold, dark, and wet. Water flowed down the walls in a full waterfall, and as soon as she was at the bottom of the ladder, the boots she'd just dried outside were soaked up to her shins again.

'Don't know why I bothered.'

If the sunken building didn't deter someone, whoever was here had chained up a skeleton in the middle of the room to emphasize the point. At its feet was a backpack with a journal, and reading it was a lot of superstition on the part of the locals warning this poor fool to stay away. If these idiots were feeding people to the Star to sustain Malyn, wouldn't it make more sense to spread tales of treasure down here for a steady supply of foolhardy— That's not what she was there for. Don’t help them. She tossed the journal away and put her iron armor up.

The flooding only got worse the deeper into the fort she went until she had to stand on little makeshift islands in the main hall. Another waterfall seemed to be coming from a blocked off door upstairs, and there was a hallway leading even deeper down off to the side.

'If I had stolen a Daedric artifact and was feeding it a bunch of people and had to dispose of the bodies after, would I put it in the basement, which is likely flooded but also probably has a hatch to just throw them into the lake, or in the tower, where it might be drier but judging by this waterfall, probably isn't but would also be easier to drag bodies downstairs instead of up?'

To help decide, she cast Detect Life and found there was actually an entire cult’s worth of people after this one crazed idiot with an incredibly unfun toy. Detect Death was a whole other horror story. Half of the fort was haphazard clouds of blue spread out all over the place. So much for her logic.

"They’re necromancers," she muttered. "Only reason to keep the corpses. Fuck."

Shame she didn’t have a spell that located items. Though… she sort of did. A quick check to make sure no one was nearby or coming in her direction, and she cast the Clairvoyance spell that she’d learned from Drevis. It was still draining, but slightly less so, this time. She framed her desire on the location of the Azura’s Star, rather than thinking of the way to get there. The sparkling smoke went straight up through the ceiling. Helpful, but also not doable. But now she knew to go upstairs instead of down. She impatiently fidgeted for her normal sight to come back.

There weren’t any stairs up from the main hall, but there was the waterfall. So much for staying dry. She put her hands up to the rushing water and froze it solid, then made gritty hand and foot holds to climb on. An awkwardly angled ice wall diverted the still moving water from under the door off to the sides. This is where Kaidan would have been useful to give her a boost and then she could have made the whole thing look less slapdash and ugly. But it was fast, it worked, and she wasn’t completely soaked. Just slightly. A quick second Clairvoyance check of the door off to the side showed her the way back down. Wrong way.

She could see and hear there were people nearby, so she tried her best to blend into the shadows, and the rushing water under the flooding door muffled any sound. They were arguing about something or other.

A man blustered in his frustration. "More souls are needed for the Star. The last one died before he could even be harvested!"

"We can't take another villager from the surface so soon. I told you to prepare everything properly!" A woman warned him.

Did they really not have any clue that the villages already knew people frequently went missing around here?

"We can just sacrifice another disciple. Apprentice Haerlon will be no great waste." He said nonchalantly.

'Cold…' Violet scoffed. They were even throwing each other into the Star. Wait. Disciple? What could they have possibly been telling people that would sucker them into following a necromantic cult?

"Yes. He'll do." The woman sounded like she was already scheming on how to get rid of the soon to be very sorry apprentice.

'Mm-hmm. Fuckin' necro trash,' she thought, carefully and quietly forming an ice spear in each hand.

She snuck a peek around the corner, then leaned out and around and let them fly. There were two horrible shouts and crashes that Violet hoped wouldn’t bring more people. Aim for their heads next time. She quickly slipped in and burned the corpses to make sure they were completely dead.

Always be certain (of) death. Every fuckin' ghoul. Especially ones in possession of and worshipping something stolen from a Daedric Prince. She’d have to tell that one to Kaidan later. See if he had a sense of humor outside of picking on her.

Taking a look around, there were plenty of free books, soul gems (of course), and potions to be had. Soul gems were expensive and she'd never turn those down. Alchemy from necromancers (or really any unknown source) was asking for trouble. Free books to pad out the shelves at home. Very nice. Not enough space in her pack for all or even some of them. She grunted in annoyance and kept moving.

There was one living and far too many dead behind a sturdy wooden door. The live one would raise the dead ones, and then it’d just be chaos. She wasn’t in the mood for chaos. 'Am I ever, though?'

Violet waited until the flame was walking away from the door, slowly and quietly opened it, then put a spear through the back of their skull. No noise. No raised thralls. Much better. Hell, she might even make it back home in time for dinner. Catch a fish from the lake on the way out and just toss it and all this junk through the portal. Use it with lots of fresh herbs to placate Kaidan when he inevitably became angry that she left so soon on her own after being so sick. Something something way to a man's heart… ew. No. Heart’s not connected to the stomach. That would hurt. A lot. She was getting distracted. Her mood was too good and that would get her injured and then hating herself for not paying attention. She took the necromancer's money and left the staff; already had too many of those. Their head came off and was burned.

The hallway was lined with prison cells and they were all full of corpses and skeletons. How many people had they kidnapped?! It made her wonder if she shouldn't go back and clear out the bottom floors to stop anyone else here from keeping this mess up. Or maybe they’d stop when someone came upstairs sooner or later and Azura's Star was long gone with everyone else dead. That should be a good enough message to get out, right? Violet decided to press on.

Another necromancer had set up an altar in one of the flooded rooms ('How were they all not afraid of drowning horribly?!') and had what looked like a large random pile of bones. She remembered the nasty bone golems under Winterhold. No. She was definitely not in the mood for that. That was done by a lich, though. Everyone here seemed to still be alive… until she'd come in.

Violet watched him pace for a few minutes checking something she couldn't see, then start reading over the altar. Don't let him finish. Don't listen to the dark whispers. Don't let him live. She readied her spear and aimed for his head. She let the spear fly, and just as it reached him, it crashed against his aethereal shield and jolted him out of the spell.

"Who's there?!" he shouted as he turned his skin to iron.

"Someone in here is finally good enough to have a permanent shield. Guess it couldn't be too easy for me," the ice mage sighed to herself. "But maybe now he's too distracted to build some kind of horrible abomination."

He quickly raised a large group of skeletons from the pile instead, as it was faster than trying to build something more dangerous. Violet cursed, but still, it wasn't too terrible. Skeletons, even when armed, were hands down the weakest spell a necromancer could cast. They had no brains, no strength, and nothing holding them together. They all saw her in the doorway and rushed over at the same time.

'Yes, please group up a little closer…' And a fireball blasted bones all over the room; he wouldn't be able to reassemble them before she tore him apart. She glared at the now very angry and nervous necromancer. "I'm here for Azura's Star. She wants it back."

"Hmph. But she couldn't be bothered to come get it, herself?" The Dunmer man scoffed and readied bright flames in each hand.

"I know! That's what I said! But she said she'd 'reward' me, so we'll… I'll see where that gets me. Probably betrayed. That's what usually happens when you deal with Daedra. But anyway, fuck you all for killing all these people." She spat and created another spear.

Without his skeletons, he was forced into using his own Destruction magic, but just as he could shield against her ice, she shielded against his fireballs.

This time, she pitched the spear into the middle of the deep water flooding the room and continuously pulsed lightning through it. Before he could make it out of the water and back to a higher platform, his ankles froze to the bottom and his magicka and shield ran out. His iron flesh conducted the electricity and Violet realized through all the flashing lights that she'd have to wait for it all to disperse before she could go over and keep him from being resurrected.

"Should've thought that through a little better," she grumbled as she watched the charred corpse fall into the water. She sat down in the doorway and started writing. 'Haven't had a break in a while, anyway.'

She could already tell there was nothing useful in the room, and the dead man only had a few more soul gems and now burnt ritual components on him. Nothing about the Star. One side of the room went down deep into the water and a cave-in, the other went up a spiral staircase. Up, then.

*

"Gods…" Violet stared at the piles of stripped clean skeletons and bodies littered around the large, circular room, including various bones tied to the ceiling as decorations. One skeleton sat on a throne with piles of treasure on and around it like a terrible shrine. It held an incredibly large soul gem in its lap and a book under its feet. "All this for one man stupid enough to steal a soul gem."

There was a lot of grumbling while trying not to get tangled up in the piles of bones, knocking over candles, and stepping around the body of a woman who'd just been sacrificed. A little extra cursing because it'd be far too much work to get at all the (literal) blood money spread out underneath the corpse pile. How did it all escalate into this? Yes, the Star was cursed, but was the madness contagious or something? She stared at Azura's Star and the gaudy skeleton who she presumed was the present 'owner'.

"Malyn. Can you even hear me in there?" She leaned on the side of the chair and waited too long for no answer, and instead turned to the soul captive audience. "The real question is, would all this have happened if Azura hadn't driven him insane first? Could've spared a whole fort full of people if she'd sent someone to come get it right after he stole it instead of being petty. Daedric Princes."

As soon as she plucked the Star out of Malyn’s lap, both his skeleton and the Star crumbled into several pieces. "Oh, fuck!"

Somebody messed up somewhere, and it wasn't her (for once). Nelacar said the thing couldn't break. Did those ham-fisted idiots downstairs do this? Was it deteriorating because Malyn abused it trying to fit so many souls in it? Looking at it, it was iridescent like most soul gems, but as large as a dinner plate and had arms like a stylized sun. Azura's mark. Three of the arm tips were cracked off, the center had a big chip, and the metal arm braces were dented. It probably wasn’t supposed to be black and sickly looking inside, either. Azura had better not pin this on her. Or maybe this was why she’d had enough and finally sent somebody to go get it.

Flipping through Malyn's grimoire ('oh please, it's your deranged diary, shut the fuck up'), it was just a lot of masturbation to his own cleverness and thinking he'd gotten away with one-upping Azura. Notes about how he'd done it, some stuff about the kidnappings, but nothing about it breaking. Admittedly interesting methodology about the states and natures of souls in various containers— NO. No. Close it. She clapped the book shut and shoved it and the various offerings into her pack. She was either going to need a bigger bag ('ugh!'), or find some other way to store more things if she was going to run more errands and jobs on her own.

She realized she was slowly getting the hang of Skyrim. Damn, that was a rough start. Or maybe this was just an easy job compared to everything else.

Violet took another look around the room and noticed there was a ladder leading upward. She'd been moving towards the top of the fort, but if the whole fort was underwater, and that hatch wasn’t leaking, then where did it go? She went up, carefully opened the hatch, saw there was a lot of fresh, open air from that vantage point, and quickly climbed back down. It was the other tower she saw from the outside and there was no way down from there (unless someone was foolhardy and tried to jump into the lake.)

"Guess I'm not going that way. Not too far back to the main hall downstairs, I don't think."

Backtracking was quick despite the stops to make sure no one had come in after her and was searching for whoever caused all this mayhem. A few of the cult members were standing around in the main hall confused as to what had happened, but she used all of the standing and flowing water to freeze them solid then smash them with lightning before they noticed her. No, she was already done. Too late. Leaving now. Her bag was full, anyway.

The solid, non-flooded ground on the shore made her want to lie down in the grass and cry. It was late afternoon and the lake was sparkling and tranquil compared to what she'd been doing underneath it. The temptation was overwhelming to lock them down there and finish flooding the place, but she supposed she could settle with telling the guards back in Whiterun what had been going on. She made her way back to Kaidan's abandoned camp so she wouldn't have to make new calculations, and considered actually seeing if she could get that fish she was thinking about earlier. Sure. She could even tell him that she'd sat back and relaxed a little outside like he wanted her to. It was sunset by the time she was finished weaving the portal back.

*

Kaidan and Lydia were still sore the next day, but still better than dead. This time, they made their way down to the shrine again to check extra carefully if anyone had come by, found nothing (the elves' heads were still on the altar undisturbed), and kept following the river until they reached the Battle-born's farm on the Whiterun outskirts later in the day. Lydia negotiated a cart ride back to the city gates, and Kaidan paid for it. She told him to keep his mouth shut about the Thalmor, as Lydia knew they were staunch Imperialists, and wouldn't doubt that there could be gossip. They were only out at Fellglow to clear out a threat, and their battered state was because a bunch of idiot wizards did it.

The two warriors reached Whiterun at sundown, and both were thankful that they lived close to the gate. As soon as they were inside the walls, they got a talking to by one of the inner gate guards.

"Oi. Outlander. Lydia. Tell the thane to watch it with the spells when you see her. All the lights and her mouth are making people nervous." The guard outside of Warmaiden's shook his head.

Kaidan took a deep breath, and kept walking. At least it sounded like she'd been working on healing like she said she would. As they came up to the house, they found another Redguard woman waiting at the front door. His head drooped. 'Could do without visitors right now.'

"Sister Ahlam? What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" Lydia asked.

She turned and almost jumped at the two looking haggard and bloody. "By the Eight, I should be asking you two that! I just came to check up on Violet, make sure she was feeling a bit better today. What did she send you out to do?!"

He groaned. "Get library books. And if we’ve got to have this conversation, I'd rather do it inside with Starfall patching all this up. …Wait. How long have you been waiting out here?" Why didn’t Starfall open the door?

"Only a few minutes? Not long." Ahlam said. "I don’t think she’s home, though."

Lydia opened the door and everyone filed in. The hearth was cold and the candles were all out.

"…Starfall?" Kaidan called out while dropping his pack behind the door. "She didn't…"

"Maybe she's just around town." Ahlam said while looking around. Cozy, though it seemed a little small for a noble. "I met her yesterday at the temple and we had a nice conversation. Thought she might want another day out."

The side window gave off a brief flash, and they all heard a small thump and grunt around the back of the house.

"She did." But he had taken her notes! …Why did he even think that would slow her down?

A few minutes later, Starfall walked in and found everyone standing around the hearth in the dark. "Umm? Hello?"

"Starfall…" Kaidan groaned. "Honestly, never mind. Not now."

"Why are you all standing around in the dark? Ahlam? You actually came to check up on me? Wow." She dropped her things onto the table by the door and a few fresh logs into the hearth. A small stream of fire from her hand warmed and lit the room considerably.

"We just got in. And could use a minute before I ask what on Nirn you were up to." He sank into a chair in front of the hearth.

"Are you two alright?" She came over and used one of her magelights to get a better look at them.

"Lydia?" He nodded over to Ahlam.

"She's safe. My thane… Violet. We were attacked by the Thalmor on the way back. We're… mostly alive. They stabbed and poisoned him and my arm is…" She struggled slightly with clenching her fist and showed her the two big, bruised scars on her palm and elbow.

"Shit!" She covered her mouth, completely forgetting there was a priestess in the room. "Alright. Give me a minute. Armor off so I can see what happened."

"You need me to come back tomorrow?" Ahlam asked. "Unfortunately, I'm not as good a healer as Sister Danica, and apparently yourself."

"Sorry, actually. This might take a while." Violet had already disappeared into her little study and came back with a big pitcher of water and was digging around in a cabinet for her medical supplies.

"It's alright. I know you're all extra busy. But at least you're looking better." She moved around towards the door and saw Violet's spear full of fish leaning against the table. "And I'm sad I'm going to miss these slaughterfish. Dua shahs?"

Her Craglorn accent popped. "Lonhe'te!"

And so did Ahlam's Bangkorai. "Alright, then." She waved on the way out.

Kaidan looked between the two of them with an eyebrow raised until Violet started helping with his armor. "You do seem to be better."

"Blood corruption, anemia, and smoke inhalation. Nothing a lot of purifying fire didn’t fix." Violet grimaced and passed everyone water, then finished the pitcher herself. "Now. Do you want to start from the beginning, or just explain this?"

He grunted as the metal bands of his chestplate pulled at his sore side. "Don't worry, they weren’t looking for us. They were ambushing Talos worshippers and killing them. One got my side as I shot the other attacking Lydia."

Once his armor and shirt were off, she felt the dark, ugly wound, making him twitch and grunt. "Sorry. Haven't had time to work on my bedside manner. Doesn't help it looks like you've aggravated this really badly."

"Just what were you doing, then? I thought I'd given enough of a hint that you should just work on healing since you were so set on not going outside." He looked at her kneeling beside him and let his arm rest on the top of her head.

She glanced up at it and patted his shoulder. "I did. I healed myself and rested. Then I felt better. Better being relative as it pisses me off a bit that I actually wanted to go throw myself into harm's way. Anyway, I decided that if I wanted to get… you know who to leave you alone before I go back to the college, now would be a good time to go get her fetchit. You're welcome. Also, you wanted me to go outside; I went outside. There was even time for fishing. They're big and evidently getting fried, now. Was just going to toss 'em in a pot for stew because I'm worn out, but now I need it. …There's no residual poison or infection in here. That's good. Brace yourself, then go rest a bit."

"You went to the lake, got the relic, went fishing, and came back here in less than a day?!" Kaidan blinked. "We've been out for three!"

She paused. "Maybe if you'd left me my notes, I could have cut a day off of it. Or maybe you would have landed over a cliff. I can really only go to places I’ve already been, so you could have been immediately killed in an accident and I’d never know."

Bright yellow wisps streamed into his side and Lydia covered her ears as best she could from the shout cut off with coughing. That 'sorry' earlier wasn’t seeming so sincere, now…

The two stared each other down for a tense moment before Violet moved out of the way for Kaidan to go upstairs, and she moved over to Lydia. "Now. How did this happen?"

She hesitated a moment, then held her arm out and tried to flex it. "Um. The Thalmor who ambushed me was a mage. I grabbed him so he couldn’t escape, and I got an ice lance through the arm. I guess now I'll have to learn to use the other one."

Violet showed her the long scar along her forearm. "You'll be sore for a few days, but it'll heal back to full. You’re not going to lose your sword arm."

"Kaidan had told me you're a healer. Your potions really saved us yesterday." Lydia said.

"Now I'm a damn battle medic," she muttered. Two fingers circled Lydia's palm and wisps of light dug deep into her arm.

It was painful, and itchy, and she tried not to squirm, but most of the restraint went to covering her mouth with her other hand so she didn't scare the blacksmiths next door. The wisps worked their way through her arm and two fingers from Violet's other hand met at the bruise just behind her elbow.

"My thane. I'm sorry. It was my fault. After we left Fellglow Keep, I insisted that we stop at Talos's shrine just southwest of there. I had no idea that the Thalmor were there.”

Violet's voice deepened into a growl. "Did you make them suffer?"

Lydia’s eyebrows went up and she pointed at the glass sword scabbard on the floor under the weapon rack. It was still slightly spattered with blood. "...Their heads are at Talos's feet."

She nodded and softened her voice a bit. "Good. All's forgiven. Change into a comfortable shirt so I can wrap your elbow. I need to sit a minute."

Chapter 8

Summary:

The Blooded Dawn and the Dusk of Sanity.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The longer Violet sat in front of the fire, the less she wanted to do anything else. She’d overextended herself using her magicka all day and on a new, powerful spell, then came home and immediately had to heal everyone. The freedom high was coming down. She also realized she’d hardly eaten anything all day and expended so much of her physical energy. Kaidan and Lydia still had one working arm each, so they could still help.

She showed them the recipe she and Ahlam were talking about, though it still wouldn’t taste quite right without the Hammerfell spices she’d ordered. Spiced flour over fish stuffed with herbs (to which she had to reassure them none of it was 'poisonous' or what she found under a rock). They didn’t care about the “right” spices (considering the ‘wrong’ spices were what they were used to) and were ravenous enough that all of the fish disappeared quickly and gratefully. Over dinner, they each shared their adventures over the past few days, and she finished wrapping their arms so they wouldn’t aggravate them again and she’d have to start over.

“Right…” Violet rubbed her face and moved to clear the cookpot. “Can’t leave you two alone or you get bullied by inept wizards and Thalmor.”

“We’re not children,” Kaidan said, realizing too late that he sounded petulant.

“And yet, here I am putting bandages on and feeding you. Your loss. Ouchie kisses and sweets are only for good little patients,” she scoffed and picked her teeth. Slaughterfish was delicious, and Kaidan’s mood had… well, he wasn’t glaring at her anymore.

“Wait, I could have gotten candy and a kiss for sitting still?” Lydia pouted at the two of them.

“And an extra for killing the Thalmor,” Violet said.

Kaidan shook his head. “Don’t encourage her. Please.”

*

After getting everyone taken care of, Violet grabbed one of her new books and fell into bed for about two minutes before remembering how much she hated the cold, hard, ugly pile of furs, and that her crate was sitting in the loft. Lydia didn’t have a crowbar (her asking for one immediately roused Kaidan’s suspicion), so she wedged the tip of one of her spears into a corner and the lid popped off with a loud bang as it hit the wall.

She jumped and winced from the noise. “Ow…”

“What was that?” Kaidan asked wearily from downstairs.

“I also bought everyone presents.”

“That explode?”

“Belethor’s assistant said he packed everything too tight into the crate.”

“You say we can’t be left alone, but you’ve been spending all our money and running off.”

“I replaced what I spent with what I took from the necromancers, and we can sell whatever else we found once it’s all sorted out,” Violet said then muttered under her breath, “Pretty sure it evened out, anyway.”

“We haven’t counted it out, but those mages at Fellglow had a lot of money to run their operation. They also had hundreds of books, but I wasn’t carrying a whole library back for you and Urag only asked for three in particular.” Kaidan said, coming up to see what needed to be over-packed in a crate. “What did you buy?”

“What you told me to.” And she handed him a big, fluffy pillow.

He took it in his free arm and squeezed it for a few seconds. “Hm.”

“And two pillows and a quilt for Lydia…” Violet threw them into her room and onto the bed.

She called from downstairs, “Oh! Um, thank you?”

“And the rest for me.”

Kaidan followed her and watched in bemused silence as she turned their bed into a dragon's nest of pillows, blankets, and warm quilts. She then proceeded to roll around in them making embarrassing noises. He could’ve sworn he heard Lydia snickering from downstairs. It was right then that he knew that these two ganging up on him was going to quickly and easily burn up his last nerve.

There were worse ways to die. At least this dragon didn't breathe fire. …Yet.

“Because for some godsforsaken reason, a lot of Nords don’t know what a mattress is,” Violet groaned.

“You’re going to wake up hurting, dovahdin.” (1) He pushed the fluffy mess away from his side save for a quilt and lay down beside her.

“I won’t.”

“And we’re hardly ever going to be home to use this, now that you’re well.”

“Now that I know how to teleport, no thanks to you, it’ll be easier to return to this rather than paying to sleep at inns and camping in caves like wild Reach-folk,” she said, looking directly at him.

Kaidan sighed and gave her belly a few pats. “And here I thought we were making some progress in taking that spoiled city girl softness off of you.”

Violet looked down at his hand groping her. “…I just fixed your arm, and now you’re trying to make me break the other one.” She grabbed his wrist and gave it a sharp snap.

He sucked through his teeth and snatched his hand away, only to find she hadn’t actually done anything except scare him witless by popping the joint. He glared up at her and she was looking at him curiously, rather than in anger.

We talk tomorrow,” she said with a hint of dov in her voice and retreated into her book.

He turned away from her.

*

Everyone slept like the dead to give everything a little more time to finish healing, and once they were all up and around mid-afternoon, they gathered in the dining room and poured piles of coin, books, treasure, and other ‘confiscated’ goods all over the table. Counted out, it all proved to be more than enough to cover the repairs and expenses. Once they’d divided the money, Kaidan called Starfall over and handed her her pack.

Just as he threatened before he'd left, he took Starfall to a pond a little bit away from Whiterun’s walls. She had packed food and her book, he kept his sword in case of trouble and grabbed a fishing pole, and Lydia simply took a day off in town. The hillock overlooked the rocky, golden plains and Violet immediately planted herself down to read her book.

“Fresh air and sunshine. The open wilds of Skyrim. Peace.” Kaidan settled down over the pond with his legs swinging over the edge.

“Don’t tempt trouble,” she mumbled from her book.

“Hmph. That’s your job.”

“It really is, though.” She looked up. “As much as I hate to admit it. And I really wish it wasn’t. But part of it means I have to figure out ways to make this easier on myself, or keep us alive by any means necessary.”

“You were barely able to walk before I left. And then when I got back, you’d waded into a necromancer’s coven by yourself to steal a Daedric artifact and had nearly beaten us home. Us mortals don’t recover that quickly on our own.”

She closed her eyes. “Yes, that sounds bad when you say it aloud. But it’s my job to bring people back from the brink of death, and that includes myself… when I’m not feeling lazy, pitiful, or reckless… I really can take care of myself.”

His head dropped back. “I know that! I want you to stop being reckless.” And preferably the other two, but one thing at a time.

“And I know you do. But recklessness also keeps us alive, since I’m going to have to keep doing things untested because someone, or several someones, decided this spoiled, fat city girl would be better suited to kill gods, demons, and mortals than an actual warrior. You keep saying things like don’t let my emotions control me, but what was I supposed to do in that church in Old Winterhold, Kaidan? It was collapsing on top of us. You were almost dead. The draugr were about to break in and tear us apart. I learned that my restorative magic is related to necromancy. Then the lich. I literally had nothing left inside me but maddening pain driving me, and then I didn’t even have you. Any time I try to do anything anymore, rules get broken. I don’t need you making up new ones.” She rubbed her face.

He hung his head. “I’m sorry… But please… don’t go back to the college yet. I know you’re itching to. The damage we caused that night just trying to get rid of those two monsters is probably going to start making the Thalmor actively hunt us, now.”

“And your solution to this was to hide in the central city of Skyrim, where the entire jarl’s court and a good portion of the city knows who I am and where we live.” She pinched between her eyebrows. “And anyway, I’ve already run through all the books the college left with us and I need to get more. There’s nothing else for me in the meantime.”

“Would you have preferred to wake up in Windhelm again? Or even further out to nowhere in Dawnstar? Besides, the Thalmor wouldn’t jeopardize the possibility of winning Whiterun’s favor over us. I don't think we’re more important than the war, quite yet. Give me a little credit, here!”

Violet thought about that for a while and Kaidan went back to fishing. How was she supposed to get anything done if everything they did spiraled out of control and drew someone’s attention? Kill a dragon discreetly. Kill a lich discreetly. Keep its secret underground city to yourself while giving justice to the thousands dead. Protect the handsome, (more like pretty) irritating Akaviri who keeps getting into trouble and happens to be one of the Thalmor’s greatest fears discreetly. Become a Daedric champion… actually, that one wasn’t all over the place yet or else her head would have already rolled off the platform. Speaking of… She quickly looked around for any soul flames, and found nothing but animals nearby.

“Kaidan. There’s something you need to know.”

“More secrets?” He didn’t look up from the pond and grumbled, “What else did you do?”

She twitched at the accusation. “Azura’s Star. It's broken.”

“What?” He quickly turned to her.

“When I finally found it in Ilinalta, those bastard necromancers had made a shrine around Malyn’s skeleton, and they were kidnapping anyone they could find to siphon souls to the Star. But they did something, I don’t know what. It’s all cracked to pieces. Neither Azura nor Nelacar said anything about this. I can’t fix it.”

He took a few moments to think. “Nelacar said he wanted to be shut of it and planned to do something with it; maybe he knows how to fix it. Plus, Malyn’s still in there. He’ll have to be the one to coax him out of there, anyway. Damn Daedric business.”

“Still don’t know why she’s set on bothering you if she picked me.”

“Because I’m already marked as Mehrunes Dagon’s, and you’ve seen how possessive they are. That, and I think at this point, everyone knows that touching me is the easiest way to get you to do anything with any kind of urgency,” he muttered and went back to fishing.

She stared at his back. The edge of his scars peeked from his collar. “…Why did you choose Mehrunes Dagon?”

Kaidan froze up. He knew it was coming for a while, though he hoped that she would let it go to spare him. He still didn’t want to even think about it. “Starfall… I… can’t…”

“Can’t, or don’t want to? Things keep happening where any and everything will set you off. All I have to do is touch your hands and you flinch and fidget. We’re going to be fighting dragons and they breathe lots and lots of fire. While I know full well that magic can absolutely be evil, I would have thought that I’d proven myself by now. You’re too important both ways for me to ruin that.

“We’ve seen that the gods aren’t going to leave us alone for this. They know something big is coming when they usually don’t give a solitary fuck about us mortals. But there still seems to be room in their busy schedules for pushing your buttons, specifically. So a better question is, what did you and Mehrunes Dagon do?” She was trying her best to push her anger down and instead spoke in a slow, even tone. “I told you mine ages ago. Please, Kai.”

She put her book down and moved to sit beside him, and he recognized her hands weaving fire over the pond in that same way that she could tell stories. As the water started to boil and the grass around the edges singed, a painfully bright, white, fire atronach formed, but was much larger, unarmored, and masculine instead of feminine. Trickles of dark red flames rolled like blood from scars of cooled lava on its wrists, heart, and back, hissing when they hit the water. It had his face, sort of; the shape was there, but atronachs didn’t have facial features unless they had armor on.

The scar on its back when she turned it around was Dagon’s mark: a dark sun of red threads far more intricate and compacted than Starfall’s fire wards, but the Daedric runes spelled out something he was cursed to never be able to speak aloud. She drew cooling lines of ice where it had been carved up and stabbed as if someone had tried to remove it and either panicked when it wouldn’t come off, or really, really, really hated him.

“You asked how I tell your flame from anyone else’s.”

Kaidan pulled his feet up and scrambled backwards away from the side of the ledge, as if that thing would break free from Starfall any second and grab him. “What? That’s… Oh gods, no…”

“This is your soul. Flames are how I see souls when I look for signs of life, but this is still different. Every life is a big candle burning down. Most aren’t this bright, distinct, and…disfigured. Ones that are… don’t last very long before burning themselves up. It leaves pools of ‘blood’ wherever you stand still for too long, which kind of explains a thing or two. No, the ‘blood’ doesn’t do anything. …I don’t think. Haven’t seen this before. Only people who can use Detect Life and Death can see it. No one else knows, unless another mage were to show them. No, I won’t ever show this to anyone else; mages tend not to use soul spells extensively unless they’re necromancers or healers, and such things are intimate and private. This… is probably still better than mine.”

Kaidan started bothering that spot over his heart and heaving for air. “Rosalind… what did you do…?! Still there…” He would have been inaudible if he hadn’t been sitting next to Starfall.

She banished the soul effigy and the flames dissipated, leaving horrible, withering heat all around them. “Who is Rosalind?”

“My back… our soul…”

“She did this to you?” Violet studied him. ‘Our?’

“Gods… fine. Please, just… listen. And know that I’m so sorry, Star.” Kaidan finally gathered all of his nerves, but his dead eyes could only focus on Starfall for a second before he couldn’t bear to look at her anymore and covered his face with his hands.

*

(Eight years prior.)

A young bounty hunter sat hunched in the bushes outside of a mountain cave in northeast Cyrodiil. It was just before dawn, and these creepy bandits had finally settled in. The bounty was for the leader, but of course he wasn’t going to be able to just go in, kill him, and leave without anyone else saying something.

Kaidan studied the notice the governor’s secretary had given him. A lot of needless details, but the thing that stood out was that this one man was worth several thousand septims. Why there wasn’t a whole swarm of bounty hunters all camped out here was a complete mystery. Just what did he do?

Scanning the paper mentioned something about cult activity. Bah. Standing around a campfire, chanting to some bored Daedra that likely wouldn’t think they were worth the time or effort. Hardly worth a hundred.

He was considering just going in and slaughtering them all for fun, when one of them stumbled out into the early morning light. The hooded figure grumbled and shaded his eyes, then went over to the nearby lake. He didn’t even get to finish removing his cloak before catching an arrow through the back of the head. Kaidan rushed over and yanked him away from the water before the robes got wet and bloody, then stole the robe (and anything else valuable) and tossed the corpse in the lake. After that, getting inside was easy.

*

“What are you doing, you’re not in the Thieves Guild…” Kaidan whispered to himself as he kept his head down and explored through the dimly lit paths. They really liked this one sigil of a rising sun… or was it setting?

“You’re also a good foot and a half taller than Eliam, and he doesn’t have red eyes,” a woman whispered beside him in the darkness.

He started away from the direction of the voice. “Shit.”

“You’ve got guts, I’ll give you that.” Her finger pushed his chin up and he immediately grabbed her wrist. She smirked right in his face.

“Quiet,” Kaidan hissed at her. “Where’s your leader?”

“If I tell you, he’ll kill me. If I don’t tell you, you’ll kill me,” she said flatly.

I’m here now.” He tightened his grip on her wrist until she squirmed in pain.

The woman nodded. “Fine. Your funeral. Follow me.”

“Into a trap. For fuck’s sake.”

“You’re the one in here looking for a fight.” She considered simply ruining his handsome face with a fireball, but there was something about this one. The others who came in here looking for an easy mark were either easily scared off or torn to pieces. He either had no idea what he was walking into, or he was the change she was looking for. “How about this, then? Maybe, if you can rid us of this current incompetent idiot, we might come to an understanding. I think you’ll find something far more rewarding here than being a lone thug about to throw his life away for a few septims.”

He was about to laugh in her face, except she was completely serious, sincere, and unafraid. That in itself should have been a warning. But warnings were to protect against losing something, which meant he could easily ignore them. “…Just show me where he is.”

The winding halls finally gave way to an underground, open, grand cathedral. So they weren’t just a bunch of crazy cave dwellers. Any of the other cultists whom they’d passed in the halls suddenly stopped what they were doing and followed this woman and the tall newcomer. These people all knew each other. Kaidan growled at how easily he would have been picked out no matter who had found him first. At least this scheming bitch knew not to get herself killed immediately.

The ring of braziers at the center of the cavern highlighted a massive statue of a four-armed Daedra looking even more monstrous than Daedra usually did. A polished marble table and dais at its feet held a living sacrifice, an Imperial man tied down and stripped bare. An Altmer man stood on the dais directly under the statue, incanting in a language Kaidan had never heard before. At the end of the incantation, the sacrifice on the table screamed and pleaded to an audience that could only hear the priest’s final words of triumph, and the runed dagger hovering beside him sought his heart on its own. As the blood poured into the channels indenting the table, the victim’s soul manifested as a point of light and was absorbed by an open book levitating over him.

This was not amateur hour. This was why the leader alone was worth thousands of septims. Kaidan could only utter a small, “Fuck.”

“Yeah, you could have thought this through a little better. We’re not petty thieves, darling.” Rosalind patted the man’s cheek. “Well, there he is at the base of the statue. Have fun out there. Don’t wind up on the table. I’m told the pain is beyond excruciating.”

She quickly regretted drawing attention to herself, as now she had a very long, runed sword sliding just under her field of vision.

“You’re coming with me,” the foolhardy bounty hunter growled in her ear.

*

“Tyrwil, you have another fool out for your blood. This is the third time this month. You’re getting sloppy,” Rosalind sighed as her ‘captor’ led her down the stairs into the sacrificial pulpit.

The rest of the congregation didn’t dare move, even to try and save her, and their leader didn’t bother looking up from his reading. “Says the one being used as a hostage. Rosalind, you really couldn’t have killed a single brute by yourself?”

She rolled her eyes. “Do you really want me to answer that while I have a giant sword to my throat?”

“I should let him slit it. You’ve always hated me,” Tyrwil spat.

The woman enunciated slower this time. “Be-cause you are slop-py. He’s a bounty hunter, which means that Cheydinhal knows. You’ve drawn too much attention, too early. You think Lord Dagon is going to look kindly on this?”

‘Dagon? Mehrunes Dagon?!’ Kaidan’s sword left a stinging red line across the woman’s throat.

She hissed, “Watch it…” out of the side of her mouth.

“Maybe I should keep doing it and have more flies willingly walking into my web!” The cult leader slammed his dagger down into the chest of the corpse on the table, and the book floated off to his side as if to wait for them to finish arguing. Now that he had finally looked up at the two of them, his eyes moved upward at the very angry Outlander looking like he (or at least his father) had stepped out of an Oblivion gate. “Where in the Dark Lord’s realm did you find this one?!”

If this fool wasn’t holding a sword to her throat… “In the hallway. He also killed Eliam and managed to get past—”

Kaidan wasn’t here just to listen to these two bicker. He grabbed Rosalind by the scant back of her robes and threw her over the altar at Tyrwil, jumping over it and the corpse to close in on both of them. The rest of the room erupted into chaos, some scrambling to get out of the quickly growing lines of fire, and others rushing to defend their two most powerful (if not completely at odds) members. The mercenary ducked down behind the sacrificial altar and went for the leader first. Don’t end up on the table. Don’t let him use that dagger or book.

Tyrwil shoved Rosalind off of him; he would have used her as a shield if he didn’t need to move right that second. “I’m sloppy?! You led this bastard here!”

As soon as Rosalind scrambled out of the way between the statue’s feet, both cult leaders changed their flesh to iron. Kaidan growled; it wasn’t that mage armor was particularly difficult to get through (unless they could change their skin into ebony, but fuck fighting anyone who could do that), but it was a lot more annoying and slow-going if he couldn’t use his sword. And of course there wasn’t enough room to maneuver his nodachi in that little space between the statue and the altar. Instead, he grabbed his hunting dagger from his lower back and nearly brought it down into the High Elf’s throat. His hand was turned away at the last second by an invisible force pulling him up by the neck and into the increasing number of spells flying over their heads.

‘Bloody mages!’ Brynjar had taught Kaidan how to deal with some kinds of magic. Arcane ice, lightning, and fire were somewhat dulled by his armor, and he knew how to use his own will to override whatever sudden, abnormal thoughts of terror, rage, or calm might come over him. He wasn’t versed in magic that was strong enough to physically pick him up and move him.

He grabbed the edge of the table and forced himself back down with one hand while the other refused to let go of his dagger. If this asshole could lift him, the blade—Oh fuck, the other one!

The bounty hunter took a chance and let go of the table to quickly grab the sacrificial dagger still in the body on the table. But without the leverage to hold himself down, Tyrwil had the strength to throw him off of the dais and down the stairs.

‘Good, he took the dagger. But he’s still in trouble if he doesn’t kill this idiot within the next few minutes.’ Rosalind couldn’t be seen helping the Outlander, but maybe a subtle hint of sabotage and mind control would do the trick. She ducked a little further out of the way, then quickly and steadily, Rallied his innate powers. He certainly looked big and strong enough, but a little more speed wouldn’t hurt him, nor a bit of bloodlust. No one would see the hint of green smoke through all the regular mist, smoke, fire, and spell lights.

Kaidan rolled back to his feet at the bottom of the steps and gave a quick glance to his hunting dagger with the ritual blade in his dominant hand. Daggers were far from his favorite. But they were good for close quarters, and mages really didn’t like fighting up close. Instead of running back up the stairs, he darted around the front of the dais, dodging blasts of fire and ice. Whether it was luck or speed, he didn’t really care as he would feel the cold or heat brush past him but not actually do the damage it should have. If he hadn’t moved much, that cult leader should be about here…

He vaulted over the altar just as Tyrwil was backing down the other side of the dais to get proper space, and tackled him against the corner. They both heard the dull snap of something getting bent wrong, and the cultist’s howl of pain made the bounty hunter grin. Neither had time to stop though, as Tyrwil’s remaining hand erupted with frost, crystals, and needles in the attempt to slow Kaidan down. It gathered across his armor and made it stiff and brittle enough it was difficult to move, but the true pain was when it grasped around Kaidan's throat and started to freeze shut. He retaliated by breaking Tyrwil’s iron nose and stunning him; his clawed gauntlets helped make it hurt a hell of a lot more. That was enough to halt the spell and give him some air as he coughed up a cloud of cold mist and ice.

“Quickly! Repeat after me: Dagon! I cull the weak! I will have change! I will be something more!” Rosalind leaned between Dagon’s ankles and Commanded sweet heresy to the Outlander’s ear. It should have been in Daedric, but one wrong syllable and he’d be a pile of ashes on the floor. Not with that (sort of cute) accent. “Lord of Ambitions!”

‘Lord of Ambitions, eh?’ Kaidan chuckled under his breath, then roared at the statue. “Mehrunes Dagon! I cull this weakling! I will be your agent of change! O, Lord of Ambitions, I will be greater than them!

‘Interesting!’ She thought and raised her eyebrows. “Let go of the blade!”

The blade in Kaidan’s hand twisted around in his grip, itching to get free. He just hoped it wouldn’t turn on him, instead. As soon as he let go, the Daedric dagger acted just as it had a few minutes ago, ignoring Tyrwil’s armored flesh and plunging deep into his chest. The man gasped and cursed Rosalind for her betrayal before going still. The book on the altar turned towards the three of them, opened on its own, and accepted Kaidan’s offering. As he attempted to read the open pages, the ink squirmed and spun on the paper in what he now recognized as Daedric. Still couldn’t read it, though, and now there was a similar unsettling squirming moving down the back of his neck.

INTERESTING, INDEED.” A deep, booming, gravelly voice echoed high above the altar.

Kaidan’s eyes were wide and now burned with bright red flames as he looked down at the dead cult leader, then up at the statue. He wasn’t supposed to be able to cast magic. He got to his feet and turned to the statue of Mehrunes Dagon. The rest of the congregation below had stopped dead.

“Lord Dagon.” Rosalind turned her eyes to the floor instead.

YOU SAW A COMPLETELY UNKNOWN OPPORTUNITY, AND YOU MADE IT YOURS WITHOUT HESITATION. GOOD. I WILL BE WATCHING.” And that was all He said.

Neither of them realized which one He was talking about.

“Well. Seems you’ve made a good first impression.” Rosalind smiled and patted his cheek. “What’s your name, Outlander?”

He narrowed his still blazing eyes and muttered, “Kaidan.”

“Well, Kaidan, I am Rosalind. High Priestess of the Blooded Dawn. You can take this miserable husk and go get whatever pittance they were paying you to throw your life away, then you can come back here and your true path can begin.” She passed him the corpse of Tyrwil by the collar of his robes.

The bounty hunter brought his sword back out and grinned at her. “Just need the head.” And he removed it with a quick, clean slice, just missing Rosalind’s fingers. He took Tyrwil by the hair and stormed off, his eyes a warning for anyone else in the room looking to try something. Dark wisps of smoke wove around him and escorted him out.

‘This is going to be fun.’ The high priestess crossed her arms and twirled a few of the wisps around her finger. ‘Let’s see how long this one lasts.’

Notes:

(1) a pun: dovah - dragon, vahdin - woman ; dragon-woman.

Warning: Chapters 9 and 10 will be posted together on March 20, 2021. Chapter 9 is longer than usual and will be marked as EXPLICIT. Story content warnings will be out in force and extra ones will be in the header notes. It will also be self-contained as a short story, allowing you to skip it and go on to 10 if necessary. The Blooded Dawn are an extra spicy bunch, including Kaidan, and double for Rosalind and her 'pet'. It’s gonna be *dark*.

Chapter 9

Summary:

And when the truth finally dawns… it dawns in fire.

Notes:

Content Warning: Please, please, PLEASE be mindful of the tags and warnings. I really mean it, this one is full on Explicit Horror/Gore. Feel free to skip to the next chapter if need be, as this one is self-contained. Blood, Gore, Intense Graphic Violence, Child Abuse and Death, Animal Abuse and Death, Dismemberment, Beheading, Death by Fire, Heavy Torture, Gaslighting and Mind Control, Humiliation, Rosalind… the Blooded Dawn has less than no chill.

Chapter Text

(Six years later.)

The Warlord of the Blooded Dawn held a farmer up by the throat and grit his teeth at all the little pops and snaps whenever he shifted his talons. The man’s wife lay at their feet with blood still pooling; she’d come at him with a shovel, and had made his ears ring and head ache for a few seconds when it collided with the back of his helm. Her head sat on the table with cold, blank eyes staring through them.

“Where is the blade shard?” Kaidan growled.

Rosalind said that Mehrunes Razor had been shattered shortly after the Oblivion Crisis ended and the pieces were taken into hiding across Tamriel. Of course, piddling little gestures like that didn't matter to Daedric Princes and Lord Dagon was working with her to find the pieces.

She frequently complained about field work though, and so here was Kaidan, on a farmstead all the way down by Leyawiin, asking this nobody about something a distant relative had done almost two hundred years ago. This would go well. The whole chaotic affair growing out of his control already had his eyes burning unnaturally bright through his Daedric helm. As soon as the Blooded Dawn had arrived, everyone under his leadership scattered like rowdy, murderous children, leaving him to do the dirty work. The screams outside were making it hard to concentrate.

“I have no idea what you're talking about!” The man choked out.

The little farmhouse was stifling from the fire headed towards it. That was draining his patience even more. They weren’t supposed to set the bloody fire until after they were done. He swung his sword in one smooth and incredibly dangerous motion clean through the man’s hand clinging to his wrist. The man’s screaming only made him roll his eyes. “Try. Again.”

“What blade?!” He sobbed.

“The blade your ancestors hid here. It’s around here somewhere. And you still have plenty of limbs for me to chop off,” Kaidan said.

“No, please! We’re just farmers! All my family’s ever been for generations! You can have anything you want, but we don’t have any weapons!” he screamed through his shaking.

“Generous. But wrong.” There was a loud snap at the man’s remaining hand, eliciting another scream. “This isn’t working. …Dumont!”

There was a crash just above them and a werewolf behemoth tumbled down the stairs, awkwardly trying to maneuver inside of a house that was much too small for him. He bristled his blond fur all matted with blood and showed Kaidan a toothy grin. Speaking was difficult for Dumont in that form (not that it was any good in his human form) and he sounded like a rabid dog, but he tried, anyway. “Kkaaadnnn!”

Dumont. There was a disgusting, vile, and twisted Breton motherfucker in there somewhere who was always a slight breeze away from going completely feral and tearing everyone apart. He’d already done it a few times; Kaidan couldn’t figure why Rosalind wanted to keep a “pet” that almost murdered her. He wasn’t sure which of Dumont's forms was worse, though it was probably the werewolf; at least the human always went down with a thorough beating to shut him up for a few days. But Dumont was useful in sensing things the rest of them couldn’t, like hearing lies, smelling Daedric corruption, or seeing trouble coming a mile away (and happily running into it). “Did you find anything? Or did you forget because your brain’s rotten?”

“Nnno. Bett’rrrrr!” Dumont made a loud, barking laugh and held up a young girl in his giant clawed hand. She was battered unconscious and bleeding all over.

Kaidan cursed under his breath and stepped aside to let the farmer see. “Do you remember now?”

He looked up from his ruined hands and groveled in terror. “Please! We don’t have anything! Don’t! Please gods, leave her alone…” He was bleeding out fast.

Something twitched and hurt badly in the back of Kaidan’s head and the pit of his stomach. Rosalind was having more and more trouble getting anything right, recently. “Bah. Drop her. Grab everything else and let’s go.”

Dumont chuckled deep in the back of his throat and refused to let go of the girl. “NO.”

“I said drop her. The shard isn’t here. We’re leaving.”

Instead, he licked his lips and tried to fit through the door.

“At least change back first, you depraved piece of shite—” Kaidan immediately realized what he’d said. One. He knew what Dumont was going to do, because this wasn’t the first time it had happened. Two. ‘If you’re going to do the worst fucking act imaginable, then at least don’t make it inconceivably grotesque.’ Three. ‘Because I can’t stop you.’

The giant beast somehow managed to roll his big, blue eyes in a still human way and took a large bite out of the girl’s shoulder and throat as if to confirm that ‘no, you can’t stop me.’ The child thrashed once with a small shriek and went limp. The two monsters ignored the dying man’s cries for his daughter.

“Hhhhas RRR-rrrossszzz beenn hhholding out on youuu, prrrr’tty fffk t-toyyy?” He laughed and tossed the child’s corpse on the ground like a broken doll.

When Kaidan’s Daedric armor started rattling loudly and uncontrollably, Dumont’s face lit up with glee at seeing the bright, beautiful, bloodlust in the Outlander’s eyes. Whenever he managed to rile this pathetic little bitch into a challenge, it always ended badly for both of them, even in his primal state. But he’d also been feeding ever since they’d arrived at the farm, while this half-Daedric thing was starting to get sluggish, for some reason or another. Maybe this time he could finally take the pack and the priestess for his own.

Kaidan completely forgot that he was trapped in a house burning down and rushed the behemoth, punching through the beast’s jaw and ripping a gash across his shoulder. Dumont punched back and howled with laughter. Finally! He grabbed Kaidan by the arm and collar and whipped him around and out of the front door, smashing the last of the door frame to get himself outside.

The rest of the Blooded Dawn heard Dumont’s hunting call and groaned. Their lord had been acting strange for weeks, as well as the high priestess. She was becoming driven and reclusive, and he was constantly distracted and turning on anyone who crossed his path. She’d even steered them wrong trying to get the Master’s relic.

And now that damned beast who shouldn’t have even been with them to begin with had baited him into yet another fight while everything around them went up in flames. And then they’d have to carry their battered bodies back to be healed (and beaten and healed again) by Rosalind. Or maybe one of them would finally kill the other after months of this horseshit.

Kaidan tumbled down the front steps and had to keep rolling before Dumont stomped him. He rolled to his feet and into a defensive stance. “Dumont, you stupid dogshite! We don’t have time for this!”

The giant wolf’s foot smashed through the wooden stairs and pulled the bottom step apart by a bloody ankle. “Daeddrrra’s boyyyy! HAHAHHAH!!!”

It wasn’t so much the ridiculous insults that started as soon as Dumont smashed his way in through the front door a few months ago, looking to cause utter chaos. It was that Dumont didn’t even care about Mehrunes Dagon or anyone else (barely even himself); he just wanted to fuck everything up for everyone else.

And he absolutely was. He was exposing all the rot, the misery, the destruction that Kaidan had done to himself and everyone around him. What in Oblivion was all this?! He fucking knew better! These poor people hadn’t done anything! Rosalind had sent them to destroy dozens of lives for absolutely no reason! And these people he thought he belonged with, thought was his family, loved every minute of it. This wasn’t what he wanted. That little girl didn’t deserve this. But at least he’d angered Dumont enough to kill her before he could do worse, or she saw all of this. His stomach churned but he forced it back down before he was torn apart.

He rushed the werewolf and dodged under the wide swings of his giant claws, nearly managing to gut him but was kicked away before the nodachi could angle into something vital. He stumbled backward, clutching the deep puncture in his Daedric armor in the same spot where he’d just hurt Dumont.

“Lord Kaidan! Just leave him!” Iessa came and shoved him towards the horses. The Imperial woman didn’t care much for either of them, but at least Kaidan’s head still had a shred of sense left in it. At least until that rabid wolf was involved. “We’ve got everything loaded!”

“Tiiime t’ goorrrr!” Dumont cackled. It sounded like a wolf’s bad imitation of the human woman. “Orrr d’ youuu w-wwwant t’ staaay ’nd mourrrn?”

It wasn’t worth responding to this shit, anymore. It was too hot, it was hard to breathe, the smoke had to have attracted the Leyawiin guard and they would be there soon, and there was nothing left here but fire, death, and Dumont. Kaidan flashed a rude gesture, then joined Iessa and the rest.

Dumont bared his teeth. “Dnnnn’t trrrn y’rrr baaackkk ’n m-meee!”

Kaidan was already on his horse and riding away.

No! He wasn’t allowed to leave, this time! And his body was giving out… Dumont bounded on all fours after the galloping horse, spooking it and bucking Kaidan to the ground. The werewolf grabbed the horse’s throat and crushed it in his jaws.

“Kiai!” Kaidan shouted. He narrowly missed being crushed as Dumont tried to shove Kaidan's own horse on top of him. “You fucker!”

“Dumont! Let it go! For fuck’s sake!” Iessa shot him with a poisoned arrow to slow him down and hopefully drain him the rest of the way back to “human” again. It didn’t work. Shit, it probably made him even angrier. She wasn’t going to stick around for this one and possibly lose her own horse and life. She rode off as fast as her horse could take her.

“NO!” Dumont pounced on Kaidan while he was still prone and tried to crush his skull with one hand. He was so driven at that point, he didn’t notice the points and edges of the Daedric helm were slicing up his fingers. “Diiiiie!”

Kaidan heard and felt the metal crumpling, took his runed nodachi and twisted it upward to wedge it into the werewolf’s armpit and take it off at the shoulder. It thumped into the dirt beside them and Dumont screamed something neither human nor beast. Kaidan kicked the monster off and scrambled away, dizzy from the pain prodding deep into his forehead.

‘It’s only going to get worse if you let him live!’ All of Kaidan's senses were screaming at him. It should have been a hell of a lot easier than killing all those strangers back there. “You deserve worse!”

Dumont clutched his shoulder as he tried to get up, but was still lost in his frenzy and stumbling towards Kaidan, growling incoherently and foaming at the mouth. They both knew the second he changed back, he’d bleed out, but Kaidan decided that wasn’t good or soon enough, and thrust his nodachi up through the bottom of Dumont’s muzzle through the top of his head, twisting it until the bastard finally went down. He didn’t even feel any relief. Watching people suffer used to be fun. Or was it ever…? …What had actually happened?!

A floodgate of memories opened up and Kaidan had to struggle to get his badly dented helmet off as if it were suffocating him. He looked around in panic, but everyone had already disappeared through the smoke and fire. He sheathed his sword again and stumbled off into the forest instead of following the rest of the clan.

*

“I can’t do this anymore.” Kaidan paced around his chamber like a caged beast.

After they had all abandoned that farm in fire and blood, he went away from all of them and was sick. Somehow that made everything clearer, but still too much like waking up in the middle of the night screaming. There was no reason, no justification, no honor in what they had done. Just petty destruction and raw, deviant, unmitigated evil. Eventually rejoining them days later felt more like a death sentence. Rosalind came in to find him all bandaged up and muttering to himself, and immediately knew something had gone wrong during what should have been the simplest job in months.

“Do what, Kai?” Rosalind asked. She knew that he was still livid about herding a bunch of bloodthirsty cats, but she sure wasn’t going to do it, anymore.

“They didn’t have the blade shard. There was no reason for us to be there, so we should have left. Instead, everyone decided to… gods damn it…” He rubbed his face.

“Take their frustrations out on whoever was available? Yes, that tends to happen,” she said.

“Dumont—”

“Is a freak. I know.” She bit her lip and stifled a laugh. “Honestly, closer to Molag’s kin. Definitely not Hircine’s. But he worships our Lord’s destructive side, not the ambitious side. Now you know why I don’t go with them, I simply tell you lot where to go.”

He was going to say ‘is dead’, but he realized what she’d said. “Then why did you send us to that farm?”

“Everyone needed to let off some steam, and I wanted a day off.” Rosalind finally met him with a slight grin and a shrug.

Kaidan saw her expression and closed his eyes. Her devotion to Dagon was real. And he was devoted to her. He couldn’t leave her here. He had to try…

“What if… there was something better? For us, I mean.”

She tilted her head. “Like?”

Anything else. Not this. Not disguising petty banditry and wanton murder as trying to appeal to a Daedric Prince who only cares about using us toward pointless violence.” He grit his teeth. “Before we wind up like Tyrwil.”

She’d long forgotten about that failure. Rosalind looked up into Kaidan’s pleading eyes. She’d learned to read his mood from the light emanating from them and right now they were weak and dying. …Fear. After all of the work she’d done over the past few years, he just wanted to throw it all away because of a squeamish episode? And he was serious. He couldn't have…

“And how do you plan to break the news to everyone? To our Lord? Not that you really need to.” She was sort of curious…

“They’re too far gone. Like Dumont.”

She didn't look at him. “And I’m not?”

“We can do better. Far from here. I’m from Skyrim. Maybe there.” He was up and pacing again. “But I can’t stay here.”

“You’re not thinking straight, my love.” She went over and stopped him by grabbing his wrist. “Sleep on it. It will just be a bad dream in the morning, and then you can think on the scriptures to remind yourself of what you pledged to your Master. The path forward is painful. You know this. But right now, you’re showing weakness.”

He took a breath and looked deep into her eyes. “If the path forward is pain, then I guess I’ll just have to be the one to cause it. I have to put a stop to this.”

Her eyes stayed blank, but she balled her fist where he couldn’t see.

“I’m done, Rosz. And I don’t want to leave you here to rot with these monsters. I know you’re better than this. More powerful than that. Which is why I need you. Please, Rosalind. Help me.”

The high priestess closed her eyes and took a deep breath, walking around him. “Just think a moment, dear. It’s like a passing dream. Everyone gets them. A pang of regret. A moment where you forget what it was like before The Liberation. Change is slow. Gradual. Waiting.” As she pulled him down for a kiss, her fingers combed through his hair and an instant crack of lightning into the back of his head dropped him to the ground. “Then it hits you.”

*

On waking up, Kaidan couldn’t decide which was more painful: the lightning, the cold, hard floor, or Rosalind’s betrayal. Oh gods, no. Rosalind…! When he tried to rub the pain out of his neck, his hands jerked back down with a metal clank. He was chained down. So Rosalind was going to torture him, first. She rarely bothered doing that herself; she liked watching him do it. …Oh. Wait, why was he chained face down? He recognized the blood channels too close to his face and out of focus. And on the main altar?!

“Ros…zza…” he groaned.

“Ah, you’re awake.” Rosalind leaned over so he could see her. “I was sort of hoping I could get this done without you trying to whine and plead your way out of it. Though you probably would have woken up the second I started.”

Or maybe not? He tried to will his heart back into his chest. “What are you doing?”

She flicked a small, hooked blade with a rune-engraved handle, dripping with something glittering blood red into his field of view. He went pale. “You said you needed my help. So, I will help you see reason. And if you still don’t, I’m sure your new tattoo will be much more convincing. It’ll even complement the one on your face!”

‘A tattoo? What in Oblivion has she been working on?’ Kaidan knew if he didn’t get out of this somehow within the next few minutes, he was probably going to be begging her to kill him. When she wasn’t working on finding the razor pieces, she was literally playing with fire. He wasn’t sure what that would mean if not him winding up as a pile of ashes.

The High Priestess started speaking upward to Mehrunes Dagon’s statue while the rest of their clan below whispered a mix of scared confusion and betrayed anger. They knew something was wrong when she loudly and angrily ordered everyone into the cathedral, but refused to explain what was going on. But to find Lord Kaidan knocked out and chained down on the altar! A few of them prayed she wasn’t about to do something weird, like with the damn werewolf. They all saw how well that turned out. But she couldn’t possibly be this angry about Kaidan killing him? A few hinted that she was finally ready to take over. As if she wasn't already in charge. More like she’d finally gotten bored of him. He lasted a lot longer than Tyrwil, though.

Her voice echoed around the cathedral. “Do you see this, Lord Dagon? I beg forgiveness, as I have not been diligent in keeping your will as law. The seed of doubt grows in his heart. And I see it in your eyes!” she shouted as she turned towards her congregation.

‘Okay, Rosz…’ Kaidan rolled his eyes. ‘But keep talking while I figure this out.’

He quietly tested the bonds. Heavy iron chains everywhere that kept him from moving an inch. Shit. Where’d the ropes go? She probably had the key, but he couldn’t reach her unless she did something stupid.

Rosalind took his chin in her hand to pull him into looking at her while talking to the rest of them. “And I’m guessing that your cooperative silence and Dumont’s absence means you killed him. I liked Dumont. Why?”

‘Of course you did.’ He couldn’t even look at her. “I’m only sad I couldn’t stay longer to watch his corpse burn.”

There were a few murmurs of amusement close by.

She ran her hand down her face. “You bastard. Was it because he kept challenging you?”

His stomach started churning again even though there was nothing in it, so he distracted himself with anger. “He shredded a child like a fucking chew toy and was about to do worse.”

“And then you told him not to. So he challenged you. Whatever. He was a little too hard to control, anyway. Not like you, dear. Up until now. It’s what I get for trying to control two idiots at once, really. But I still love you, Kaidan, which is why I’m not going to simply kill you for your treachery.” She kissed his forehead.

Kaidan knew full well that Rosalind was a scheming bitch; he pegged her as one the moment he’d met her. He thought he could stay one step ahead of her. But love makes you stupid.

“What happened to your ambition, Kaidan? I swear to Lord Dagon Himself, if it’s something as simple and pathetic as you finding your conscience, I’ll make it extra painful. I’ve been watching you slowly get your head back for the past few months and couldn’t figure out how you were getting out of my influence. And this final bit was likely all Dumont’s fault, damn him, too. Ugh, at least Tyrwil was dedicated to the bitter end, even if he was overzealous and incompetent.” She sat on the corner of the altar and started rambling.

A glint of metal stuck out from one of the folds of her robes. That simplified things a great deal. Sort of. Even if he did get the key, he wouldn’t be able to unlock all of the bonds before she put another lightning bolt through his brain. Hopefully, there’d be someone who’d help, somehow. That was the point of this whole damn thing for the past few years. But if they weren’t speaking up for him now…

Trying to keep the chains quiet, he prayed the little swiping motion was obscured from everyone else and slipped the key between his wrist and the manacle.

“And of course, being utterly useless at magic, you’ve tuned everything out. Oh well, doesn’t matter. Not like you need to know what’s going on or would understand the process.” Rosalind shook her head and cast a heavy aetheric shield on him, then forced him to drink a foul tasting fire potion. It couldn’t possibly mitigate everything, but at least he wouldn’t burn up before she finished the ritual. She whispered sweetly in his ear, “Sorry about the metal, dear. But ropes would have burned instantly, and you always break out of them, anyway.”

While he was fuming and gagging, she summoned a powerful primal atronach: very loose in humanoid form, unarmored, and was made less of lava and more of pure, bright white flame. Incredibly rare and far harder to control than the smaller armored creatures that most mages summoned. Kaidan gasped in pain and tried to pull away as being that close to the heat was unbearable, even with the fire resistance.

The chains started to change color slightly before the high priestess pulled it back, and she set it into a containment ward to make sure it couldn’t escape while she was working. Whatever that was for, he didn’t want to know. Time to go. He turned the key over in his palm and into the lock, but before the manacle clicked open, the key warped and melted. “Really?!” He put his head down and groaned.

“I know, but if this works, we’ll have solved so many problems, dear. Your inability to use magic, your wanting to leave, your mortality, any remaining weakness like that nagging bit in your head that cares about people, my loosening grip of control over you, Mehrunes Dagon’s loosening grip of control over you… everyone wins!” She gave him a smug grin and picked up a bowl of that glittering red.

IF?! “ONE OF YOU STOP HER—” Kaidan shouted but cut himself off as searing heat started digging deep into his back and spread throughout his body. His screams didn’t seem to phase anyone watching (and why would it? they did this kind of shit all the time), let alone into any kind of action against their beloved priestess. They instead bowed in prayer.

He’d remember that the second he got loose.

Lord Dagon! As he has been faithful, I ask you to forgive him in his sacrifice of mind, body, and soul! He dedicates himself to you, but must be cleansed with your blood and flame!” Rosalind incanted in Daedric while drawing the fire salt dipped blade through the flesh of Kaidan's back. Her other hand gathered the atronach’s fire like she was spinning thread, and stitched it into the incisions with the hook. The chains rattling and straining as he struggled was cutting into her concentration and the droning prayers weren’t enough.

“If you don't stop struggling, I'm going to make a mistake somewhere and then you’ll be really upset. Or turned to ash. Gods, Kaidan, it's only a tattoo; you’ve got one on your face.” She kept working without stopping or looking up.

Y’fuckin’cunt!” he howled. On top of the pain making it hard to breathe and think, everything was already starting to distort and melt…

She paused, blinked at him, then smacked him hard in the back of the head so his forehead banged against the altar.

The more progress Rosalind made on the runes, the less the atronach could hold together and it nearly bashed itself apart on the wall of the containment ward. At the same time, Kaidan’s screaming tapered off into panting and growling; whether it was because he’d completely destroyed his voice, shock had him, or the ritual was starting to take control of his mind, Rosalind was only relieved that he’d finally shut up. All the new curses he’d come up with for her were starting to grate. “You’d better still be alive,” she sighed.

He hissed something especially vicious in Daedric. While she knew that he understood the language, he never spoke it unless he was reading something aloud. Even then, it had his accent all over it, so it was often wrong. This was perfect. Good, because she was tired.

She gave him a pat on the arse for finally cooperating, but didn’t notice that the manacles at his wrists were starting to glow and smoke. “What was that, dear?”

I’m going to kill you, Rosalind.” The atronach and Kaidan said together, then switched to Daedric. “This entire mountain is going to go up in flames.

She looked back and forth between the two of them and frowned. “The wards will prevent that.”

Has she finished it, yet?” they asked.

The atronach looked over her shoulder and they both scowled at her. “No.

Rosalind’s eyes went wide and before she could curse, the chains holding Kaidan down flashed and stretched until they snapped. The atronach’s original form returned to full size and lunged at her, but bounced off of the containment ward. Kaidan wasn’t bound by it. He tackled and pushed her into the ward, breaking it. She screamed in well deserved pain as his chains charred her shoulders and arms, and his glowing hands left smoking bruises on her throat.

All y’had t' do was stop being a bloody bitch for five fuckin’ minutes and come with us, Rosz!” they rasped. The atronach laughed from somewhere below them. “I hope this is worth burning forever in the Deadlands, mortals!

Chaos erupted below them and the atronach was happy to make good on their promise. The entire cathedral started rattling and the various fires lighting the room exploded. Hanging braziers crashed to the ground and fireballs leapt out, catching anyone who couldn’t move fast enough (which was everyone as they were completely drained by Rosalind’s ritual), and the floor braziers shot columns of white fire to the ceiling. Kaidan’s atronach chased everyone they laid eyes on and turned them into charred husks. Fuckers could have prevented this disaster, but it was more fun to watch.

'Why hasn’t Lord Dagon seized control of him?!' Rosalind should have done enough of the runes that even if she couldn’t, He would have been able to! Kaidan had that bright, beautiful, murderous spark back in his eyes, but it was all wrong. It was all panic.

CHANGE ME BACK!” they screamed and Kaidan shook her until she was dizzy. “NOW!

‘PLEASE! DIVINES! HELP ME!’ All of Kaidan’s senses were consumed by fire. His tongue and throat were dry, choking ashes, his eyes were blinded by heat distortion, everything sounded like screaming, hissing, and crackling, the smell of scorched death was beyond nauseating, and there was nothing but searing pain all over since the first incision. His new soul running loose outside of his body had even taken over most of his thoughts, which were all set to ‘drown the world in flames’. He knew he didn’t deserve to beg anyone for help after everything he'd done, but nothing could possibly be worse than this.

“Perma...nent,” Rosalind groaned. “Soul…bind Ward.”

They both turned back to her. “DESTROY THE WARD. FREE ME.

Kaidan tightened his hands around her throat until she was gagging. Everyone was too preoccupied to notice that the room was shaking along to his voice. “THEN. REMOVE. THE. WARD!

‘No!’ The high priestess’s skin flashed into ebony and she kneed him in the groin. Sometimes Kaidan really knew how to spoil a good time. He was stunned for just long enough that she could try and regain control over them. Unruly atronachs could sometimes be subdued by banishment. Maybe if she removed the more powerful half of them, it would weaken him considerably. She dove down the stairs of the dais and took off running, jumping over the burnt bodies and dodging their fireballs.

Rosalind was really starting to regret this experiment, now. Unwilling test subjects weren’t a problem; she used them all the time. She’d absorbed enough magicka from everyone else to do the ritual. She didn’t make any mistakes with the circle, but she wasn’t allowed to finish it, either. Kaidan was mortal and human enough, but whatever Outlanders were had no innate magicka at all, and instead had a nigh inhuman amount of physical strength and stamina similar to Redguards and Orcs. The atronach she chose was a higher Daedra that was completely made of magicka and Daedric fire. That sort of power imbalance should have worked perfectly so the atronach filled in everything he lacked magically, while he gave the atronach a permanent, physical, and incredibly hard to kill anchor to Nirn. She couldn’t lose everything over this one… what in Oblivion had she created, anyway?

She did a quick heel-turn and set a storm thrall between her and Kaidan, then continued after his atronach. “Grab him! Don’t kill him!”

He had almost caught up to her but ran face first into the storm atronach. It rumbled with thunder, took a swipe at him, and missed entirely, but Kaidan’s skin still prickled through all the fire. He had nothing to fight with but his own atronach who couldn’t attack the actual problem, and no armor. Trying to use his new power was worthless; the loose, crude fire he created did almost nothing to the crackling lightning holding it together.

Rosalind still had her ceremonial dagger and instead of using it on Kaidan, she enchanted it with a spell of banishment and stabbed the fire atronach’s heart, burning up her hands. Kaidan stopped short and clutched his chest as the atronach fizzled out into the ward on his back. He was wrong; he could still feel worse and collapsed at Rosalind's feet, where the storm atronach quickly snatched him up into a bear hug. The jumble of rocks squeezed him a little too hard and scraped up the ward, making him scream and sparks leap from it.

“How dare you refuse my and Lord Dagon’s gifts! You’ve single-handedly ruined the Blooded Dawn! Killed your own family!” she screamed at him. “I thought you loved me!”

Kaidan tried to turn his head to see if she was serious, but it turned out it didn’t matter as everything was going dark. Finally. “F’k you, Rosa…lind. Thisss… s’all y’r fault… Y' did th's,” he wheezed.

The disgraced priestess walked around to the soulbinding ward and had her atronach hoist Kaidan up by his throat. He clutched weakly at the rocks crushing his throat and struggled to breathe, meanwhile Rosalind was more irritated that he’d stopped paying attention to her, again. “All the work I’ve done… you wretched—!” She shook with rage until it had all moved down into her charred hands.

She slashed the dagger across his back with lines of fire, blades of ice, and snaps of lightning to destroy her canvas. “Weak, pathetic fuck! You don’t deserve this!”

Kaidan couldn’t even struggle against the storm atronach anymore and tried to find his fire atronach before Rosalind killed them both. ‘If you don’t want to be bound here to a corpse, get out here… and… ki… h—’

Rosalind was so frustrated, she forgot that the soul binding she’d created on his back was still a fire ward that Mehrunes Dagon had shown her how to make. And as the last threads were cut, the world went white, the atronach escaped, and the rest of the mountain went up in flames.

*

Kaidan couldn’t figure out how he’d managed to live, and at that point, he wasn’t at all grateful. He wasn’t sure how long it had been since he’d passed out, but everything was completely charred to nothingness when he woke up. He clutched his chest and coughed from the thick smoke, then looked around at all of the destruction. The one time he was able to use magic… whatever had happened. Fuck, he could barely even think straight ever since the farm. No sleep… the farm replaying endlessly in his head… everyone turned on him in an instant… the fire… Rosalind—

‘Oh gods, where is she?!’ he thought and shook badly as he leaned on the wall to try and get back on his feet. He wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad sign that she hadn’t simply finished him off. Both she and her atronach were gone. He couldn’t feel his fire atronach invading his thoughts or burning him up from the inside anymore, either. Something obviously still felt wrong, but at that point, he wouldn't be surprised if it never did again. Did she sever them? Did it manage to escape while he was unconscious? The pain in his back was still overshadowing every other thought except…

Think later. Escape now.

Kaidan had never seen Rosalind that angry (or anyone else, for that matter). Of course, in ten minutes he’d caused more destruction than everyone else in the clan put together and undid who knows how many years of her plotting. And Dagon probably wasn’t going to look at her very kindly after this. Again, he wondered how he hadn’t been struck down. He could see the giant statue still standing through the rising smoke. The entire front had been scorched black and slightly warped.

Get. Out. Now. Before she comes back and finds you.

He carefully made his way back to his room. He couldn’t leave without his sword and armor, even if he couldn’t use them anymore; Brynjar said that his mother wanted him to have them when he was old enough. They were the only things in this world he was sure were his. If they hadn't completely melted. He was relieved that the fire couldn’t touch them. What on Nirn were they enchanted for?!

An ounce of mercy, and it felt like too much.

On stumbling out into the hot, dusty night, he looked up and saw the endless smoke plume letting the whole of godsdamned Jerall know what had happened. It wasn’t dust; it was raining ash.

“What have I done…?” It was barely a hoarse whisper as he shook and collapsed.

Chapter 10

Summary:

Confess your sins.

Chapter Text

Kaidan finally came back to himself and wondered how much time had passed. He thought he’d laid down in the grass only a few minutes ago, but when he finally opened his eyes, the sky was dark grey and he was shivering cold except for where his head was resting across Starfall’s lap.

“Starfall? I… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… kept that from you,” he whispered and burned blush in his own shame. To be so weak and pathetic after being that unspeakably evil and cruel for so long…

“Oh dear gods…” She sounded so tired…

He winced and tried to get up, but she stopped him and held him down by the shoulder. Her fingernails were digging in and starting to hurt.

Tired became frightened. “Don’t…”

“What’s wrong?” Panic was still worming around deep in his chest.

Starfall was starting to shake underneath him and it was even worse in her voice. “You lied…”

Refusing to listen, he put his hand down to push into sitting up and jerked back when his palm and fingers came back bloody. Whenever Starfall became particularly upset, any water around tended to freeze. It was usually harmless, if not a bit disconcerting, and only lasted a few minutes. The Archmage had a fancy mage word for it, and Ancano was able to counteract it. Kaidan didn’t have anything that could protect him from the encroaching ice that trapped them by the pond. His sword had already been buried underneath the frozen blades of grass. He drew his feet up close to himself and looked into the clouds in fear; they were starting to swirl and gather directly overhead. “Starfall, please…”

She had her arms covering her head so he couldn’t see her face. “You lied…” was all she breathed.

Kaidan couldn’t tell if she was angry at him, or afraid of him, or about to kill him. He knew he deserved all three. He tried reaching for her, only for a rime of frost to gather on his hand and made him snatch it back again. “I know I was pure evil. It was like a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. And I don’t know if I could ever earn any kind of forgiveness. Or if I even deserve the chance. But I’m a different man, now! I’m trying to be. I didn’t want any of that to ruin what I’ve got now. …With you. It hurts to even think about it. I’m so sorry, Starfall.”

The frost was starting to gather on her now, but she didn’t flinch or even notice it. “Gods, how have I not gotten your sword through my back?! No wonder you hate magic! Everything I do reminds, scares, or hurts you. Winterhold. The Princes. Your mark. You trying to get me to stop letting my anger, Hunger, and Power control everything… Fuck, no wonder you're afraid of me!”

He winced. “I… You saved me. Ten times over. Sometimes you hit a nerve by accident, yeah, but I was more afraid of… this. Your anger at finding out I’m a hypocrite and a right demon bastard. Scaring you off. Losing everything all over again. Not having the chance to fix any of it.” The ice all around went nicely with the lump of cold panic starting to swell in his throat.

It took a very long time for Starfall to believe it enough that the ice-burned grass thawed and wilted. Even though she’d stopped fidgeting and was rubbing her eyes, the clouds stayed. Kaidan felt her hand near his and couldn’t help but flinch away from it, making her take it back.

“…Can I…?” she asked softly. “I swear I’m alright now. I got ‘lost’ and saw… felt… all of the things you said. That ugliness in you and Rosalind and… everything that makes people afraid of me. What the Hunger and Power feed off of. What I have to fight every time something goes wrong. What makes the real monsters come to me. And it made me so scared and angry at y—… For you.”

It took him a small while to answer; he gave her a small nod and held his hand back out.

“I’m sorry all of that happened to you. I’m sorry she did that to you. For a person you loved and thought you could trust… to turn on you like that. Take away your mind… sell your body… burn up your soul…” She took his bloody hand in hers and wrapped it in healing light; it was only dim and warm instead of her bright fire. “I’m grateful that you survived. That you found your way, decided to be a better person, and you’re trying to repent for what happened. And you've been so patient; so much more than I deserve, especially when it had to feel like you should have tried to escape from me, too. Gods, why did you stay? Through Bleak Falls? Through Riverwood? Sanguine? Azura?”

He shook his head.

“I can’t judge you for what you’ve done, not after what I’ve done. What we… I might wind up doing before the end. But I hope you find some kind of peace. I honestly don’t know if you’ll be able to find that with me, now. Maybe fixing whatever all this is will be enough to redeem us. Or maybe it doesn’t matter what we do because we’ve already been bought and sold by the gods. …I want to help you try, though. The way you’ve been helping me. It might not look like it, but you’re doing more than you know. Worth far more than our stupid prophecy.” Violet squeezed his hand and used some of the surrounding water to clean the blood off.

Kaidan looked at the woman who had rescued him all those months ago from possibly dying alone and broken by the Thalmor. Starfall had seen his back and that awful thing inside of him and didn’t run away. She stayed and healed him, instead. For all the things that had happened, she’d never hurt him (intentionally) and she wasn’t afraid of him, just of losing him. She’d had a fit and had cracked the world open when she thought that she’d lost him; dear gods, that was so terrifying and wrong when he thought about it. He wasn't worth that.

But, she’d said again and again that he was important to her. Starfall had trusted him with her life, and still did after telling on himself at his absolute worst. She protected, healed, and comforted him as he did to her, and just like him, she was trying to do better for both their sakes. Kaidan pulled her onto his lap and into a hug so tight she thought her ribs were going to break again.

Violet reflexively squirmed in Kaidan's embrace, but when he started to rock them back and forth and gasp erratically, she stopped. She could hear his voice hitch and die off when he tried to talk.

“Still hurts sometimes,” he breathed as he buried his face in her hair. “But I suppose I deserve it.”

Violet sighed and pushed down her own discomfort. Her fingers passed over his cheek and she radiated a dim healing light.

*

“Are you okay, now?” Violet whispered. Remembering had exhausted Kaidan, and hours later he still hadn’t let go of her. At least he let her keep reading. “And don't lie this time.”

“Just about. Your cloud’s gone, too,” Kaidan yawned, looking up at the sky. It was clear just in time to change from grey to orange and red. “You weren’t really going to…?”

“I don’t even know. All I felt was blind fury. …You know, you absolutely do not get to be on my case for being crazy anymore, right? Because that was absolutely fucking horrifying, and it’s a damn miracle your mind and soul still exist at all, let alone work. That woman could have destroyed them permanently or left you to a slow death of soul erosion, even if she didn’t kill you outright.” She reached over and poked his temple repeatedly.

He twitched at her poking. “Mm.”

“Certainly explains why you come off as Daedric to people who can sense it, though. Don’t worry, you’re not. It’s just… Just like the mark, the atronach imprinted on you and your actual soul got… hmm… molded? Tainted? Scarred? Anyway. There’s traces, but you’re still you. Mortal. Human. Akaviri. Kaidan.” She studied his arms and hands. He’d started shaking again as she was talking about it.

“Figured that fire atronach helped us both escape and went back to Oblivion. Didn’t know Rosalind’s utter stupidity left us… me… like…”

“It’s okay. You’re alright, now. Didn’t mean to scare you again.” There was going to be a moment though where she was going to hunt down this Rosalind and he really wasn’t going to like what she was going to do to her. She obviously wasn’t dead or, like her, the type to let that kind of shit go.

“I guess it’s good to know,” he said, closing his eyes.

“I didn’t even get to go collect alchemy ingredients,” she sighed.

“Maybe next time when you’re not absorbed in your book.” He took a peek over her shoulder. “Which one is that, anyway?”

“It was supposed to be the book you brought back that Urag wanted me to read, except I’m not actually reading. Thoughts still racing so I’ve basically been going over the same lines and not seeing any of it. I think the day got a little too long.” She rubbed her eyes.

“Aye.”

“Could head back, then.”

“Didn’t catch dinner, either.” He looked over and his fishing pole was burnt. “And I need a new pole.”

“It was just a stick and string with a bit of bent metal on it. And if you want fish again, I have a spear…” Going over to the pond made her stop short. “Is… boiled fish okay?”

He went over to look at what she found and looked down at the mess. Obviously she’d created that fire effigy over the water so she didn’t burn down the whole field with them trapped in the middle, but now there were lots of little dead creatures floating on the water. Fish, frogs, insects, a couple of small mudcrabs… While Kaidan tried to remind himself that she was trying to be good and sometimes things just happened with her, she went down and collected the fish.

“I call the mudcrabs. Plus, I can use the shells.” The alchemist couldn’t even be bothered to wait though, and broke off one of its legs.

He cringed when she crunched on the end and started sucking the meat out of it, and left to get the rest of their things.

*

They returned to Breezehome late in the evening, and she sat him down and explained just what exactly she meant to do that was so important at the college. Being back home with her notes let her think a little more clearly.

“I’ve got to turn in all this stupid Eye of Magnus garbage. I told them I didn’t want it to be my problem, but here I am anyway trying to figure out what it is. Ancano’s stunt was just too foreboding.”

“Did the book I brought back have anything? I know it was a little hard to read earlier.” Kaidan took over the ‘cooking’ since Starfall did it the previous night. Though it was more like reheating.

She flipped back a few pages and started reading. “Thank you for getting it back, by the way. Here… The true motives behind the Night of Tears have been obscured to us by the passage of time, but I believe this was not a simple war of territory, or of control of Skyrim. I believe that what happened was a significant event based around something very particular.

The Nords found something when they built their city, buried deep in the ground. They attempted to keep it buried, but the elves learned of it and coveted it for themselves. Thus they assaulted Saarthal, their goal not to drive the Nords out but to secure this power for themselves. I believe Ysgramor knew something of what the elves would find under Saarthal, and rallied together his people to keep the elves from gaining it. When Nords once again controlled Skyrim, this power was buried deep below the earth and sealed away. …I really hope there’s more in here somewhere, because this is turning out to be absolutely useless, no offense to your hard work.” She tried skipping forward and was already frowning.

“Just make sure Urag understands what Lydia and I went through to get them and pays accordingly,” Kaidan said.

“I’ll… try? Even though it’s a library… Still can’t believe I’m supposed to have yet another job while I’m doing all this other bullshit. And I’ve already missed my first week.”

He chuckled under his breath. “Don't know how that’s going to work unless you just sit at a desk and let them read over your shoulder.”

“Well I'd make you my speaking assistant if I was sure you wouldn't just complain the entire time,” she scoffed at him.

“Hmph. Just because I have no interest in magic doesn’t mean I don’t want to learn anything else. I love a good book almost as much as you. And I learned Dovahzul, didn’t I?”

“True. And I’ve been thinking on what I was able to glean from my earlier research. You took to Dovahzul like you were already raised with it. You were able to interrupt Beinaarkh’s summoning early, and issue your own challenge to Kahvozein by calling its name. Arngeir said during our first lesson that that is a type of thu’um, and he was surprised that I was able to learn a word from you. We know dragons are from Akavir now, not Atmora because they recognized you as an Akaviri and a Dovahkriid. Even your sword is written in Draconic. There’s something to this. Still with me? You know how I’m vague and bad at this.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, I understand. You think with a bit of time and practice, I could use thu’um.”

“That’s another reason why I want to go back to the college. I cross-referenced—”

“What?”

Her face went flat. “…One book talked about another book that might be at the library; it might have more clues about the Akaviri as people, but the Archmage said that the Great Collapse destroyed most of their collection. I promise I’ll be careful, and won’t stir trouble. Not that any of what happened the other week was my fault in the first damn place.”

He thought for a bit. “I’ll go with you.”

She raised her eyebrow. “Are you sure? Now that there’s an easy way to come and go from there, you don’t have to be stuck with me or live at the Frozen Hearth. You can just stay here with Lydia, or go wherever you want. I understand now why and how much you didn’t want to be there.”

“I suppose, but I still have business there, too. I still need to be able to do something whenever you need help fighting those monsters in your head. And I want to see the library. Do some of my own book work.” He just hoped there was enough money left after the past few days to finish his project. Then he noticed her grinning at him. He was slightly disconcerted at how happy that made her…

“Maybe I could teach you how to get the full use out of an academic library, and you’ll understand what I’m talking about when I ask for a bibliography so we can go deeper. Like where the Dwemer are at deeper. I’ll make you a scholar, yet.” She gave his forehead a few pats.

“Ah.”

*

“Violet Starfall is the Thane of Whiterun. She’s been hiding in plain sight.” The justiciar chuckled. “She’s been spotted coming and going from Dragonsreach over the past week, and our eyes there have seen the Akaviri leaving the city without her.”

“She’s a thane? But she’s not even a citizen of Skyrim. And as far as her dossier (and her base behavior) says, she’s not even remotely related to any nobility.” Ancano was flipping through it again, wondering how he missed that information.

Now that the Midden had been graciously cleared out, it made a much more suitable space for Estormo and Ancano to work out of. Everyone else was still wary about going down there, Phinis and Colette now had no reason to be investigating and patrolling, and whatever cursed nonsense that Starfall and Kaidan had found had been put down with obscenely excessive force. The two Altmer sat in one of the dead ends with a hanging brazier for light and warmth while they compared notes.

There was almost nothing else they could find on the Eye of Magnus, other than it was the source of the Night of Tears massacre thousands of years ago. No mentions anywhere else in the entire Arcanaeum. And without any access to the Eye itself, Ancano was stuck… up until he finally tricked Tolfdir into a tongue slip.

“And we can’t be seen there as that would provoke both sides of this damned war.” Estormo said. “How convenient that everyone keeps finding barricades to put in our way.”

“Indeed. Well, it seems no other news has happened in either Whiterun or Winterhold, so the best we can do is wait for her to return. And she will. Very soon, I suspect.” Ancano said.

“What do you mean?” Estormo eyed him suspiciously.

“She may act like she hates it, but the Eye calls to her as it does to me. She’ll finally become tired of trying to avoid it and come looking for answers. Did you know that there’s another member of the college living even deeper in the Midden?”

“Someone lives down here?” The Justiciar said, looking around with disgust.

“In a manner of speaking, yes.” Ancano got up and motioned for Estormo to follow him.

The further they went down into the Midden, the less it looked like the college and more like the inside of the pillar holding it up. The walls, floors and ceiling stopped being made of stone bricks and turned into solid formations of ice. Estormo furrowed his brow and cast his heat shielding once he felt a bitter chill of sea air coming from one of the corridors. They arrived at a plain wooden door that did not look like it belonged that far down.

“Who could possibly stand to live down here?” Estormo flicked a magelight on to see.

Ancano called out, “Augur of Dunlain.”

A wispy, disembodied voice echoed all around the caves. “Seekers of knowledge. Seekers of power. Turn back.

“You know full well we will not.” Ancano rolled his eyes. “Open the door.”

Estormo looked for the source of the voice, as it didn’t seem to come from the door they were in front of. “Who or what is the Augur of Dunlain?”

“He was one of the scholars here some time ago, until an accident tore his body apart, but didn’t kill him. And yet, despite this transcendence that should have surely freed him to do anything else, he lives in this cold, dark basement.”

I am not confined to this plane. I am only here when I am needed. The college need not and does not concern itself with my presence.” The Augur said.

“Yet you know that there are more pressing matters.” Ancano was starting to become impatient already.

The matter of your folly. Come.” The door finally opened and the two men had to shield their eyes. Estormo’s magelight was clearly no longer needed.

Even seeing the Augur of Dunlain up close, neither one of them was really sure what they were looking at. The Augur was too large and bright to be a wisp, he was too simple in appearance to be a ghost or undead, and yet he radiated almost the same amount of magicka as the Eye when it had first arrived at the college.

Ancano immediately turned curt. “We’re not here about whether you think we’ll succeed or fail. We want to know what the Eye of Magnus is and how to control it.”

The Eye is the path of destruction.

“Stop being obtuse. We mean literally. In technical terms. Is it a weapon? Is it a device? Is it alive? Who created it? Why?” Estormo counted on his fingers.

That is irrelevant to what lies ahead. I cannot stop you, however, just as I cannot stop the ones who will come after you.” He would have shaken his head if he had one.

“Starfall?” Estormo demanded.

That is what the Blood of Akatosh calls herself.

Ancano leered at the giant magelight. “Is she after the Eye as well?”

You both will fail.

“Well then, how do we succeed? Or stop her?” he growled.

You cannot stop the will of Akatosh. Or rather, Auriel.

Estormo threw his hands up. “But you just said that she will fail.”

And that is his will.

“I don’t like this thing…” he hissed quietly to Ancano.

“Then how do we control the Eye of Magnus?” Ancano asked.

The Eye has many components, spread across Mundus and Oblivion. Without those, you are limited to only drawing upon the limitless well.

He was already plotting. “It’s a font, then.”

An amplifier.

Estormo’s eyebrows went up. The Redguard capable of destroying a small island or part of a city did not need even more power. “What would it be to Starfall, then?”

A terrible burden.

“Well, gods forbid I let that happen to the poor girl.” Ancano scoffed.

Estormo raised his eyebrow but kept quiet. The first report of the Eye sounded almost as mad as the report asking about Starfall. But the Eye turned out to be the more immediate concern. Ancano was starting to become obsessed, and for the Eye to be ‘calling out to him’ was ominous. But better the Aldmeri Dominion’s hand than Starfall’s.

Ancano snapped back to the present. “What would we need to at least hinder her progress, then?”

If you insist on trying, simply observe her. She will show you, herself. But her path is even more perilous than yours.

The inquisitor and justiciar looked at each other. She’d been questioned twice, and yet the Thalmor barely had a damned thing on her. Unless this irritating thing meant that she was terrible at covering up her tracks, which she absolutely was.

*

Lydia was confused that they were leaving so soon again, but that was the mercenary's life, she supposed. With Kaidan carrying the stack of books and Starfall carrying what looked like far more notes than she possibly could have written in a week (and the broken relic of a god stuffed at the bottom of her pack), he showed her where and how to return to the college. At first, she was a little concerned that it required that they turn down a back alley and almost falling off of a bridge into the aqueduct, but the tiny gated storage room had a large, straw covered, engraved plate on the ground with the college’s seal on it. He handed Starfall the extra notes from Ervine, and on scanning them, she scowled at him.

“That’s it?! It was right down the street?! And that’s all I had to do to sneak out of here?” Violet considered smacking him with one of the many books within her reach.

“I don’t know if that’s considered easy or not! I had different instructions! And besides, for all the exploring you evidently did the past few days, I’m surprised you didn’t find it, anyway,” he grumbled.

She took several deep breaths. “Get in the circle.”

He made sure both he and the books had room, and when she joined them on the plate, it reacted to her magicka just like the others. It turned into a small tower of light and her hands waved with the same light in a pattern Kaidan didn’t recognize. It flashed for a second, and the little back alley shimmered into a little cozy alcove inside of the college. She turned around to make sure everything was alright and they were in their respective pieces, and she finally got a glimpse of the wall of crystal balls.

“Where the fuck were these four months ago?!” Violet pointed at them.

“That’s what I said!” Kaidan shrugged. “But turns out we couldn’t have used them anyway without coming here first, and being part of the club.”

“Ugh. Whatever. This looks like the faculty dorms. And because it’s morning, everyone’s probably in the main hall. I think there’s a way to get to the library around the outside without going downstairs through the front door.” She pointed across the atrium at the stairwell. There was a door leading outward next to the stairs.

“Are you really planning to sneak your way around just to try and avoid the Thalmor for however long it’ll take us to finish our research?”

“What’s your plan then? And while I would very much like to just pop their heads off like wine corks, if these people who all very clearly hate them haven’t done it, I’m not about to get kicked out of here for it, either. Least not yet. Or until he gives me a really good reason,” she huffed.

He took a look around to make sure there wasn’t anyone still there. “I was going to say bait him until he gives you a good reason, but that would probably wind up spiraling out of control, fast. No sneaking. We’re on neutral ground. Let’s just get our business done here and move on. We don’t owe anyone else a peek at what we’re doing, either.”

“Your call. You’re my strategist.” She followed him downstairs and out to the courtyard.

While the mornings in Whiterun were cool but still semi-bearable, mornings in Winterhold were bitter cold, bright grey, and the wind blew in from the sea. It made Violet remember that she needed a new set of robes yet again as she pulled her cloak tightly around herself and put a fire shield up. Maybe not white this time, even if she was focusing more on Restoration. Updated Destruction enchantments like Faralda’s and Nirya’s. The blood wouldn’t show as much. Or find black ones.

“Still have to find the alchemy master.” Violet went over to peek in the hothouse. Still pretty, still no one inside.

“We didn’t see her in the Midden, either. Just have to ask someone, I suppose.” Kaidan paused to look alongside her. “Some of those are actually really pretty. And you probably know about all of them.”

She quickly ducked inside for a moment, then brought back a small, purple wildflower cluster. “It’s so small and plain, and you find it by the side of the road. But then you mix it with a ground pearl, and it would both keep you from freezing and running out of stamina. Or, made into a very concentrated potion with wheat, I wouldn’t be able to use magic for a good while. You know this already, but it’s the little things that you have to watch out for.” And then she put the flower in her hair.

He thought on her words a moment, then patted her shoulder and went on to get rid of the heavy stack of books.

In the Hall of Elements, the main area was busy with the sounds of small explosions, portal echoes, and people talking over one another. The gate was shut, but they could both plainly see the Eye was still there spinning quietly. This time, it had a bright blue wall encircling it, and whatever Mirabelle had told everyone, they all kept well away, now. The awful thing didn’t even seem to notice or want to bother her, thank goodness.

The Arcanaeum was empty save for the librarian, and they were both grateful. Starfall took her work upstairs to pick a table while Kaidan took the stack and carefully laid it across the information desk. Maybe he’d better do the negotiating himself. “All returned. None damaged.”

Urag squinted at him, then down at the stack of books. “We’ll see about that,” he muttered and started untying them. “And the stolen ones?”

“I found them. They were at Fellglow like you said. But the thieves were a lot less concerned about the books, and more concerned about killing me. These were some of the less damaged ones; seems they stole dozens from a lot of different places.” He pointed to the three frozen and singed ones at the end.

Urag picked them up and growled in that way that Starfall would right before she started swearing up and down. Ironically, the orc had more restraint. “Fair enough. Hopefully Orthorn got what was coming to him.”

“Lessons were learned.” Now what kind of lessons…

“Good. And thank you. I’ll look these over, later. And here’s the one Tolfdir and Savos wanted her to read: Night of Tears. I remember this one. Interesting. I’ll tell them it’s back. And… here. I suppose you've earned these. Found these extras.”

The librarian scratched his balding head and ducked under the counter to exchange the longer stack of books for a shorter one. All the spines had advanced concepts like phylogeny and a book directed at battlemages, which Kaidan was not, though Starfall was.

Kaidan stared at them. “What are these?”

“Your reward,” Urag grunted.

The warrior paused for a minute. “Are you serious? That’s great for her, but I’m the one who nearly got murdered twice over these books, and I don’t exactly have a need for magic. I do however, have to pay to patch up my armor where I was stabbed. Over a book.”

Urag’s expression flattened. “…This is a library, not a treasury. We have books, not money.”

Kaidan pinched between his eyebrows and closed his eyes before they started telling on him. “Oi. Starfall.”

Her voice was directly above him. “Hmm.”

Your reward. Come get these.”

She joined him at the desk, studied the stack of books, then went wide-eyed. “Really? All of them?”

“Hmph. At least someone here understands the value,” Urag said.

She quickly grabbed the stack. “Kai, I’ll explain upstairs, but this is very good. And I told you so. Thank you, Urag.”

The librarian dropped his voice to a whisper. “And hey, be careful of the two Thalmor lurking around. They were reading up on your Akaviri friend, here.”

Kaidan’s disappointment and annoyance turned into a full scowl, and he forgot about his eyes. “What.”

He quickly scribbled down the titles of five books on a slip of paper and gave them to him. “Though I’m not sure what good they thought a bunch of outdated books on Akaviri would do them if no one’s seen you all for ages and facts have obviously changed a lot over that time. Like the ‘fact’ that the Akaviri are described as beasts and demons while the humans are all dead.”

Kaidan growled at Urag's insinuation, then looked down at the piece of paper. There were books here about the Akaviri, just like Starfall had said. But they sounded like they’d just make things more confusing. He could give the paper to her and she could probably sift through all of them faster than he could. Leave her be, she’s already got enough on her plate. The paper went into one of his belt pouches.

She pulled out a silver vial and shook it at Kaidan. He was looking at her like he could use the help. Try not to get distracted; he can learn to do it himself. One thing at a time. “I’m going to continue where I left off. Do you need anything important before I get started? I kind of become… driven and don’t really like to be disturbed.”

“I’ll manage. I don’t mean to spend all day and night here like you will.” Or at least he didn’t until he got that list. Kaidan went to start his first search, which was more about the Blades and Dragonguard than the Akaviri.

By the time he’d found the book he wanted and returned to where Starfall was sitting, she was already well into writing and had a different stack of books open than what Urag had given her. He knew that her driven moods caused her to work harder and sometimes (often) to the detriment of everything else, but he’d never actually seen what she did that made it seem like she’d fit more work into a short time frame. He sat across from her and glanced up every once in a while to see she was writing incredibly fast with one hand, and had a small glittering spell weaving through her other’s flexing fingers. Occasionally, she’d run a glowing finger over some passage in her book. Whatever works for her.

Chapter 11

Summary:

This is what happens when you ignore your messages for too long.

Chapter Text

Neither Violet nor Kaidan realized the time until a few students and some of the masters came in. She twitched but kept working, while he was happy for the bit of noise to wake him up. Looking over the railing, he saw Colette making awkward conversation to Urag. Kaidan was hesitant about talking with her. She was… unpleasant, but necessary. He looked back at Starfall, wondering if he should disturb her trance. She was still writing away, and now had a small stack of papers filled out with no signs of stopping.

"Hey. Rest a moment. The classes have ended and some of the other masters are here. You can ask them about getting help." Kaidan waved his hand between her eyes and her writing.

It took a little bit before the spell she was in left her head. She blinked a few times and came back from wherever her mind went.

"Take a break, you've been sitting still for hours. The others are here, and you can ask your questions. What were you working on that you left Nirn?" He looked in her eyes which were still slightly unfocused.

She groaned and rubbed her eyes. "Hate this part. …Only way I can get anything done in a reasonable amount of time. You've seen why. Anyway, back before everything happened, I started with the basics. Learning about all the gods and princes I never paid attention to. Reading to see just how much trouble we're in with… the ones who've already decided to get involved. Not much, so far. I know you don't want to hear it, but it's not going to stop with the ones who've already called on… me. Don’t know who will or won't."

"That's fair. Seems all this is bigger than us." He still didn’t like to think about how important he was to all of this.

"Today’s lesson was more trying to figure out Akatosh and Alduin, specifically. Akatosh is relatively straightforward. You probably already know all of it, so I'll skip that. Alduin is a mess. The dragons that everyone else considers to be simple destructive beasts actually used to be feral before Alduin, already full of himself for being the first son of Akatosh, told them what easy prey the little mortals are. It got out of control after that."

"And then the little mortals had enough and started fighting back."

"Some did. There's always the stupid ones who think 'let's worship the thing killing us all and maybe they'll stop.' They never stop. Years and years of wars, rebellions, and death. And yet, no one could completely wipe them out. Mostly because of morons like the Greybeards giving them refuge. And now we're right back where we started," Violet growled.

Kaidan hummed in thought. "Anything on how they're being resurrected? Maybe that can be stopped."

She shook her head. "This hasn't happened before. History both is, and is not, repeating itself. I honestly have no idea what the Divines' plan is, here. Make dragons. Make mortals. Dragons kill mortals. Panic and give mortals the means to fight back. Mortals kill dragons. Panic again and resurrect dragons. Dragons immediately start killing mortals again. Panic one more time, and just smash a god, mortal, and dragon together in the worst, haphazard, unethical way possible and hope it works itself out." Then she put her head down on the table and closed her eyes.

He watched her for a few seconds. "Go get some air. I'll keep an eye on all this."

"In a minute. That spell always drains me for a little bit. Just need a quick nap." Violet yawned.

*

Violet stared at the Eye of Magnus, then looked around at the endless expanse of ash all around her. The Eye wasn't floating or glowing or doing anything anymore. It was just a hot, metal ball reflecting the sun right in her face no matter which side of it she was facing. She started to pound on the perfect circle of the center plate, and the knocking amplified into a hollow clanking noise that was carried off by the infinite destruction. The engraving around the edge flashed measurements and coordinates she couldn't even begin to calculate.

"Open up! Please! Bring it back! You can't leave me like this!" Violet rubbed her arm over her eyes and fought back tears.

There was no answer. Not that she had any idea who or what 'you' was.

"Why didn’t you stay buried?!" She scrabbled her nails at the seams, but that only tore up her fingertips.

Still nothing. Fine. Violet didn't have any tools, and the ash didn't respond to magic because there wasn't any left in existence. There wasn't anything or anyone, anymore. She started digging to the bottom of the ashes with her hands. The Eye of Magnus had to go back. For every scoop she moved out of the hole, it slid right back in. There was no one else to do it. Her dragon souls circled to make sure she didn’t give up and leave. And go where? So she sat there on her knees, in that weird, grey, awful, impossible nothingness, and dug the hole.

*

A few minutes later, Kaidan heard little scraping noises. Starfall's nails rhythmically dug into the table and started to leave deep grooves. He held her hands before she either hurt herself or damaged the table any further.

'Strange place to be having nightmares.' He whispered to her, "Come on, wake up. You’re moving in your sleep."

All at once, Violet jerked awake and tried to pull out of his grip. "It's… shit. Can’t describe it. Gotta get rid of it. DO NOT OPEN."

"Starfall. Stop. It’s okay, it was just a nightmare. You're in the library."

"We need to find Tolfdir and Mirabelle. Now." She was breathing strangely…

"Star. Calm down. It’s me. What’s wrong?"

"Yeah, I know. Stop. But the Eye." She wriggled out of his hands and stumbled away from the bench. "Fuuuuck that, no no no no…"

Kaidan reached for her and grabbed her arm before she fell over herself. "Take a second to get your head back. What's wrong with the Eye?"

She was still pulling away. "That damn thing knows I'm back."

"It… knows. So you're saying the Eye is alive." That was so much worse than any of the ideas he'd come up with. Mostly because he didn't even want to think of that possibility.

"No."

"Oh, thank the gods."

"I'm going to leave you with that small comfort." She started to take off running and got three steps before Urag called up to her.

"No running in the Arcanaeum!"

*

As much as she didn't want to go near the Eye of Magnus, she went directly for it as soon as she opened the door down to the Hall of Elements. The gate was open, and there was Tolfdir standing beside it and writing up a storm.

'At least it's easier this way.' She tried not to be too loud. “Tolfdir. We need to talk. It's urgent.”

He was startled out of his own deep concentration, though this was more the Eye's influence than getting into his own work flow. "Starfall? You're alive! I mean, I knew you were alive, Colette told me you were. But she said you were in dire health! And the business outside! Are you alright? You look like something’s the matter."

She was trying to figure out what to say. He was probably going to be even more stubborn than when they were in Saarthal, but he wasn't going to be the one saddled with this godsforsaken thing when, not if, everything went to shit. "I'm alive, but that's about it. Tolfdir, I have to speak to you about the Eye. It is so important that you listen carefully."

"Ah! Then you're just in time. I've made a few observations about the artifact. If you'll note the engraved runes here, you see that they're not in any known language on Tamriel, or even the ones we know of Oblivion. I tried looking up Ehlnofex, the language of the first mortal progenitors, but either the direct descendant Ayleids weren't able to preserve it, or it simply is too closely related. And if you look at the seams, it seems — heh — that whatever they’ve written, fits perfectly within each shape, no matter how large or small it is."

"It's calculations I can't quantify because I don't know what they're in relation to before it opens. And that’s the problem."

"Wait, you can read it?!"

"No. The damn thing won't leave me alone trying to get me to open it. Tolfdir. It has to go. And not back to Saarthal this time. Ancano knows it exists and he's opened it. He's not going to stop until he gets it open again, and I think we really narrowly missed a disaster last time for how long he had it open. The thing is, I'm not sure why or how, but the way it attracted the dragons who didn’t want us to have it, and how it's trying to get me to open it, I think it needs my cursed blood."

He snapped his fingers. "Interesting. That also reminds me. Between having a new master here at the college specializing in dragons, my normal research and lessons in Alteration, and Savos encouraging everyone to study the dragons that you and he killed, I believe you've inspired me with yet another breakthrough! A cost-efficient, natural, hide armor, stronger than ebony. Unfortunately, it can only be applied in short bursts. I suppose it would be more of an emergency armor, unless you feel you could improve upon it?"

Her hands were flexing. "You’re getting distracted. It is bad when I'm the one telling you this. Did you hear anything I said? It cannot stay here. Preferably we should chain it to a couple dozen boulders and drop it in the middle of the ocean."

Tolfdir put his hand on her shoulder. "You keep saying that, Starfall, but you really don't have anything to worry about. Savos, Mirabelle, and I have ensured that no one can get through the wards this time. It hasn't done a single thing but spin since you left, and Ancano's learned his lesson."

'That's not how the Thalmor work, and you know it.' Violet whined into her hand and dropped her voice to a whisper. "I think… I think I have a clue as to what it is, but it knows I have to open it to fully understand. And that's not happening. And combined with the warning that the Psijic Order had to literally come out of a century of hiding to give me, it's better to just stop all this now. Suppose we do figure it out. What if it's a weapon? What if it is directly related to Magnus himself? Would you really believe something that powerful, that invaluable, that unbelievable, is still safe here at a, no offense, broken and neglected little school that's completely unguarded? A few wards to keep people out? Really? Tolfdir, I know you know better than that."

Violet looked at the spinning blue wall around it and for a few seconds, she dropped a small red circle directly on top of it, so it created another, more powerful ward and put a moving hole in the wall. Before anyone else saw, she snatched her ward up and the blue shield came back up. Just having the Eye exposed for a few seconds was enough to hit her with a wave of nausea and stumbling, which didn't help her already high anxiety.

He looked back and forth between her and the spot where she'd put a hole in the ward and his argument. "You are not making this easy."

"Tolfdir, who are you… talking… to." Ancano's face immediately twisted into a scowl. "Starfall. When did you return?"

'None of your business.' She shrugged. "When I meant to."

The inquisitor closed his eyes and pushed it all down. "You have a visitor. You've been missing all this time, and there's been absolutely nothing happening. Then someone comes calling for you only a few moments ago. I tell him you're not here, and he says you are. And here you are, with the Eye, right when I come check."

'Should have just exchanged the books and left again.' Not even a full day of being back and it's like everyone and everything waited for her to sit down to work before resuming the horseshit. "Who is it?"

"Ask him yourself. You will come with me to the Archmage's office. Now."

Wait a minute. Who in the world would even know where she was? It wasn’t Delphine; Ancano said 'him'. Was she about to walk into a trap? Her brain was still shaky from that horrible dream. "Let me go get—"

"I will not repeat myself," his voice hardened.

She silently looked up at him and blinked. Ancano saw what was behind her eyes, turned, and started walking.

Tolfdir couldn’t see Starfall's expression, but was well shaken anyway… "Oh, dear. Starfall, we’ll continue this conversation later. Maybe without any interruptions."

She couldn’t even be bothered to try and stop Tolfdir from digging right back into his work. Whoever this was, they'd better be real damn important. And if not, the Archmage was probably going to need a whole new office. She followed Ancano around the corner and up the stairs. The Archmage was standing beside the seal on the floor, looking especially concerned.

She instantly recognized the robes of the Psijic mage standing in front of Savos's desk, occupying himself by pacing with his arms crossed. She hadn’t managed to get rid of that damned Eye in time and now she was going to get yelled at or punished for these morons' stubborn actions. How was any of this fair?! She pinched between her eyebrows. "Fuck!"

All three men furrowed their eyebrows at her.

"I beg your pardon?!" Ancano looked down at the foulmouthed little shrew beside him.

The Psijic swiped his hand in a circle quickly and the world stopped just like it did back in Saarthal. "Please do not be alarmed, Master Starfall. You're not in trouble, which is what I'm guessing that outburst was about. I am Quaranir, a member of the Psijic Order. I wish I were meeting the Dragonborn under better circumstances."

"What the f—" She looked around, stopped herself, and flexed her hands. "I know who you are. At least it's not a stupid, vague, thirty second message, this time. What have I done, then?"

"I've given us a chance to speak privately, but I'm afraid I can't do this for long. The situation here is now dire, and attempts to contact you as we have previously have failed. I—"

She raised her voice and pointed to Ancano. "—I know it's dire! I’m working on it! You see what I have to work with, here?! Especially this Thalmor fucker right here! I'd kill him and put a stop to this right now, but meeh meeh meeh civil war horseshit and I am not getting chased out of here before I've finished my research. And you couldn’t find me because I wasn't here before today!"

Quaranir rubbed his forehead and sighed. "The energy coming from the artifact has prevented the Order from finding you at any of the places you've been. The longer it remains here, the more dangerous the situation becomes. If no one is cooperating, then you're going to have to go around them."

"What do you mean the Eye's preventing it? Tolfdir said it's got a bunch of wards around it; I assumed they were working considering I'm not sick as a dog. It hasn't even tried to latch onto me until I foolishly bypassed the wards for a second a few minutes ago."

The Psijic quickly drew the Tenth Eye across her vision with his other hand and instantly regretted it when she started swearing loudly and flailing in panic. The glittering ribbons had created a web of light all around, over, and through her, pulsing with moving motes of light along the threads whenever she moved or tried to access her magicka. He took the spell away. "Please stop! It's not fatal or even harmful!" Yet…

"It's not fatal, but it explains the ten minutes before this! Why aren't you all fucking helping me if you’re so 'concerned'?! You're the secret order of elites!" She was still swatting at the invisible web and cycling through all of her spells trying to sever them. It bypassed her aetheric shield like it wasn't even there.

This wasn't at all how he imagined how this conversation would go, nor how the Dragonborn would act. "Look. I've already done too much already by coming here to warn you. You have to do this because it's obviously and literally linked to you, now. Most likely because you're the closest 'Divine' entity that it can find, if it really is linked to Magnus. You must understand, the Psijic Order does not typically… intervene directly in events. Just my presence here will be seen as an affront to some within the Order, and as soon as we have finished, I have to leave. I'm all too aware that my arrival has aroused suspicion, especially in Ancano. Nevertheless, my Order cannot and will not act directly."

Kaidan's frequent sentiment about 'bloody useless mages' sat front and center where she imagined that damned thing downstairs was threaded into her forehead. "So basically you just came here to nag me. You see me panicking here; what am I supposed to do about this?!"

"As you may have already learned, the artifact— "The Eye of Magnus", is immensely powerful. If it remains here, it will be misused. Indeed, many in the Order believe Ancano has already… Rather, something will happen soon, something that cannot be avoided. The best thing you can do at this point, is to start preparing for the aftermath," he said, hesitantly. She was already badly agitated, but there was no other way to say it.

That unspeakable vision from earlier clutched her chest. Everything reduced to ash… "What? And now you’re telling me it's already too late?!"

"No! I mean, the threshold for preventing it entirely has already passed. You're going to have to find a way to mitigate the worst of… whatever happens. The Eye is also blocking us from seeing what that is. Find someone here at the college called the Augur of Dunlain. He seems to be mostly unaffected by all of the conflicting energies converging here. One of your colleagues might know where he is?" Quaranir asked.

"Of course." Violet hissed and paced around in circles as frost gathered and crunched under her boots. 'Fucking bullshit destiny gonna find whoever's responsible for all this and—'

The Psijic mage shook his head. "I'm sorry I cannot provide you with further help, Master Starfall. As it is, this conversation requires a great deal of effort on my part and I'm losing my grasp on the spell. Now, I am afraid I must leave. There are those of us within the Order who will continue to watch over you, and guide you as best we can. It is within you to succeed and I, we, believe that you will. Never forget that."

Time suddenly snapped back to normal, with movement and color and Ancano warning her to watch her tongue in front of the Archmage.

"Ah. It seems my presence has upset her. I… think this was a mistake, then," Quaranir cringed.

"What do you mean a mistake? What is the meaning of this? You seemed so sure she was here when she's been missing for weeks, and now, here she is. That is not a mistake, or a coincidence, or however you want to rationalize it." Ancano glared between the two of them.

Violet merely put her head in her hands and growled deep from the back of her throat.

He was starting to understand why Starfall was so on edge and moved towards the stairs. "There's been a misunderstanding. Clearly, she doesn't want me here, and so I should not be here. I shall simply take my leave."

Ancano stepped in front of him and blocked his way. "No. You're not going anywhere until I find out what you're up to."

"Ancano." Savos and Violet said together. Hers was dov, while Savos was both trying to keep some semblance of authority in his own office and fully recognized the robes the mysterious stranger was wearing.

The stone walls warped for only a second, but none of them seemed to notice, or if they did, refused to respond to it. The inquisitor took a breath and stood aside.

"I'm not 'up to' anything. I'm sorry to have caused any confusion or offense. Excuse me." And Quaranir left.

"How… odd?" Savos only saw Starfall looking even more agitated than when she came in and Ancano trying to maintain calm.

Those two had done something. Ancano hurried after the mysterious visitor, who was already walking out of the front door.

"It's… nothing," Violet lied even worse than Quaranir. She followed the others out, and on opening the door to the vestibule, they had already left.

She looked over at the Eye of Magnus. It was openly taunting her now; looking harmless to everyone else, but there may as well have been a giant, almost empty hourglass floating over it. Please, please, please don't let that dream be true. The places where it was tethered to her now itched all over.

*

Kaidan was on the lower floor of the Arcanaeum picking through the world history books when Starfall came up beside him. She gently closed the door to the bookshelf.

Her body and voice were shaking. "I have to talk to you outside."

He saw that look on her face and closed his eyes. "I told you we shouldn’t have come back, yet."

"This would have happened whenever we came back. Everyone was waiting specifically for me. We need to find someplace private."

He nodded to her, put their books away quickly, and followed her outside. "What about the gardens? No one's ever in those."

"It's made of glass, and my setting foot in there would instantly kill everything inside," she said.

Kaidan almost asked, "What have you done, now?" but if she was that serious about not causing any damage and being away from everyone else, best not to make it worse. "It’s safe in the Midden, now. No one ever went to the forge, I hear."

Violet only nodded. "Trying real hard, here."

"I can see you are. It must be bad."

"This isn't even related to the godsdamned dragons, I don't think, but somehow this is turning out to be worse," she mumbled as she followed him down the ladder.

Once they were down the hatch to the Midden, Kaidan took the key, opened the gate, and locked it behind them. She used her hearing and spells to make sure no one else was around, then sat on the grindstone and put her head in her hands.

"I don’t even know where to fucking start with all this. This is such a mess, I wish I was back to just smiting giant lizards."

He leaned against the smelter. "Then start with why you were so worked up that you ran out of the library just because of a short dream you had."

"I woke up to a world made completely of ashes. It was perfectly flat. It wasn't hot, or cold, or anything. There was nothing left but grey in every direction, and the sun was stuck perfectly at midday. The sun reflected off the Eye and blinded me no matter where I turned. It was only me and that godsforsaken Eye of Magnus. There was nowhere to go. There was nothing left in it because it spent itself turning everything to dust. The runes on it are a bunch of measurements and calculations, but the only thing my head knows is 'DO NOT OPEN'. Would've been nice if that were written in something mortals could read. The only thing I could do was bury it again. And I wasn’t allowed to do anything else until I got to the bottom of the ashes. There was no bottom. That’s what the Eye showed me." She shuddered.

Kaidan frowned. "But Ancano did open it. And while it did do some damage, the world didn't remotely end."

"It didn't end, but it did start to end. He opened it while I was in its presence, and now I'm bound to the fucking thing like I'm bound to Sanguine's staff. When I went to go try to talk Tolfdir into getting rid of it again, not knowing that, Ancano found me, and said I had a visitor. That cabal of mages I mentioned when I got out of Saarthal. They’re called the Psijic Order. They’re thousands of years old, and I wouldn't doubt some of the members are, too. They make the best of the Mage Guilds look like a bunch of children learning their first magelight." She snapped her fingers and one appeared at her fingertips, then snuffed itself out.

"All that power, and they're either too frightened, or too foolish, or too far up their own asses to do anything of value, which is why they hide on their secret island and never come out. At least until the godsdamned world is about to end. And then, only to nag me about it, because instead of warning people away from Saarthal, or making the lock unbreakable, or going to get the damn thing earlier, they put the warning on the inside after the seal had been broken.

"The one that did come to "warn" me a few minutes ago said he wasn't supposed to do it, and he's possibly going to get into trouble for leaving the island to come find me. Now, here's the real shit. When Ancano opened it, that was the point of no return. And I think he's been fucking with it or trying to get past Savos' wards when he thinks nobody’s looking. The Psijic said it's already too late to prevent… something. He doesn't know what, and ever since the Eye was opened, their magic, wherever the fuck they are, hasn't been working properly. But mine does. They couldn’t even find me, because evidently, I've been walking around this whole time, even while we were back in Whiterun, with a fucking leash on me. It pulled me back here, the piece of shit. And now it wants me to open it again, for some reason.

"He said the only thing I could do at this point, is to try and deal with whatever the aftermath is. So we have to wait for everything to go to shit, and then, and only then, pray that my being… something… is enough that everything doesn't get broken down to dust. Or whatever. Maybe just some things. Because this is my fault for not trying hard enough to stop Tolfdir, because I'm partially Divine, and now I'm cursed yet again, and fuck, it's not like I have anything better to do! There! Is that a better explanation of just how fucked all of this is?!" Violet was rocking herself back and forth and her voice was cracking.

Kaidan was leaning against the nice warm smelter, except sometime through her explanation, it and the rest of the room had gone ice cold. It went straight to his spine. "By the Nine…"

Scales and claws of ice formed over Violet's arms as she covered her face and started screaming. "I told him to leave it, I told him to fucking leave it, and he wouldn’t listen and yet he's not the one buried up to his neck out in the desert sun!"

Kaidan inched away from being in her direct path. Guarded against magic or no, he still didn’t want to be covered in scales, or have his heart frozen in his chest, or be cut up, again. Instead, he was a second too late to cover his ears when Starfall let off the most horrible roar of frustration, that made the whole stone room rattle and froze every surface solid. It wasn't even any sort of spell, just pure anger. She'd also forgotten herself, evidently, as she was now writhing on the floor with her ears covered. This definitely would have destroyed the hothouse upstairs.

'Gods damn it.' Kaidan took a deep breath and sat with her on the frozen ground. 'I won't bother telling you it'll be alright. But we've looked at death plenty of times before. We can do it again. It sounds like we don't have a choice, as usual. I'm still with you and I'll do whatever I can to help you… even if a lot of horrible magic is involved."

He pulled her into sitting upright and tried patiently to help her stop panicking, even as his own mind was starting to conjure its own nightmare scenarios.

Chapter 12

Summary:

Oh yeah, we were actually supposed to actually get help from the college.

Chapter Text

"So did the Order at least give you a hint on what to do next?" Kaidan asked.

Violet nodded. "He said to find someone called the Augur of Dunlain; he's here at the college and to ask around. For some reason, he's not affected by all of this. Or at least, less than us."

"Mm. After you’ve finished today's work, or do we really have that little time?"

"Soon," she scoffed.

"Of course. You still have to turn over the Star, and I still have people I need to talk to. The charm from Nelacar will be useful if I'm going to have to wade into this magic business," he said. "Well, I did see Colette in the library before you ran out. She might still be there. You can ask her about improving your healing spells, and possibly ask her about the Augur. She… does like conversation."

"I still haven't figured out why everyone else seems to hate her."

"Everyone is irritated by her because she believes everyone is out to get her, or for some reason thinks that healing isn't real magic? Although the fight we almost got into in the Archmage's office was because she made it sound like all this business is our fault. …Though it sort of is, now that I think about it," Kaidan mumbled.

"I guess we can both talk to her, then," she nodded to him.

Kaidan patted her back. "Are you alright after being alone with Ancano and the Archmage?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Ancano didn't get the chance to try anything because the Psijic was also there. He was too busy trying to figure out how to trap him, instead."

"Where's the other Thalmor agent, though? Ervine said that Ancano snitched on us and Urag said they'd been through the library, but we haven't seen anyone else, yet."

"Undoubtedly around." Violet pulled herself up by the grindstone and helped Kaidan up to his feet, then healed them after sitting on the ice-cold ground. "That's what spies do, they aren't obvious."

"Well then, Ancano’s not good at his job."

*

Back in the Arcanaeum, Colette was still flipping through various books on non-conventional races, when the very subject of her search came up to her table. Starfall was certainly looking better… well, she was on her feet. Poor thing looked like she was going to worry herself to death. "Oh! You're looking better, Starfall. Though I can already tell something’s bothering you, dear. It's not more ghosts, is it?"

"Uhh… no? Though I suppose I could use help with the offensive side of restoration." Violet dropped her voice to a whisper. "But more importantly, I need help with augmenting my healing to work with all the pain and grief this… curse is giving me. And a way for Kaidan to help me if I ever become incapacitated because of it."

"Oh. This must be what he was talking about before. Well, I've actually been looking for any cases where this might have come up, but so far, nothing on healing non-mortals, demi-mortals, or …dragons."

"I doubt you're going to find anything like that on my curse," she grumbled. "I didn’t find anything at Elinhir when I was there, and they're much more specialized when it comes to Restoration. I was thinking more along the lines of a scroll he could use. Wait, can you even use scrolls?"

Kaidan shrugged. "Not reliably. The spell almost always dies in my hand before anything happens. I think all the magic has to be inside the thing already, like an enchanted ring or what you do to my weapons. There's staves, but I don't want to carry another weapon around."

"You can use staves?" She raised her eyebrow.

"Can and will are two different things," he warned her.

Violet shook her head. "Fine, I won't push it."

Colette hummed and looked between the two of them. "The problem is, your 'curse', as you call it, is from Akatosh Himself. It's supposed to be a 'blessing', therefore we’re technically not supposed to remove it. I can understand how you'd want to be 'normal' again, but that would require us mortals to be able to create, augment, and cancel out the works of the Divines."

Violet thought about the giant, broken, corrupted soul gem in her pack. She almost opened her mouth and thought better of it. "So it's possible, but difficult and dangerous."

"I'm not sure how you came to that conclusion instead of 'impossible', but I'm just going to say that I don’t think I can help you remove or suppress the blood of Akatosh. And no offense, dears, but I don't want that kind of responsibility," Colette said to them.

"Not sure that this even is an Akatosh thing anymore, but that's an even deeper hole," she groaned. "Okay, I have to talk to a few more people, but do you know someone around the college called the Augur of Dunlain? All I can assume is that they're like the alchemy master and just hide all the time."

She snapped her fingers in remembrance. "Oh! The Augur! He might be able to help you. And it's not so much that he hides, so much as he's… stuck. Brilliant man, terrible accident. To this day, we still don't know what happened. But even more knowledgeable than me at Restoration. Mastered spells others could barely comprehend! But he's very particular about who he shares that knowledge with, so he's likely going to test you first. Just go aaalll the way down to the bottom of the Midden, almost to where you’d end up outside at the foundation, and knock on the door that doesn't really belong down there. I'm sure he's been paying attention to everything happening lately, and will be expecting you."

"And the alchemy master?" Violet asked.

"Sleeps-in-Blossoms just kind of moved into one of the hothouse basements, even though she has a perfectly nice suite and workshop where you two were staying. Just follow one of the back doors down and you’ll find her, eventually. I think. Haven't seen her in a while." Colette covered her mouth in thought.

Violet and Kaidan shrugged at each other and moved to leave.

"And Violet, dear. About the Augur." Colette lowered her voice.

Oh, no. "Yes?"

"I'm asking you now, so you don't get stuck when it seems like you don't have time to waste with failure. You said you weren't very well versed in Offensive Restoration. I assume it's because you only wanted to be a healer, or maybe you're a traditionalist. You do understand why Restoration is named the way it is, yes?"

Violet stopped and thought about it a moment.

Colette became very grim. "The things Kaidan said you did at Old Winterhold. Stealing unlife. Using yourself up as a weapon. Seeing Life and Death in their other forms, in others and yourself. I know it was a bit… unethical of me, but I knew you could handle it. I left that corruption with you so you could study and know it, in full and as a part of you."

Kaidan frowned at that, but kept quiet. He supposed it was something akin to his own harsh life lessons and trials of survival.

"Restoration of life and death," Violet said.

"Restoration of the balance." She held up her amulet of Arkay. "Keeping the living alive, knowing when to let death take its course, putting the undead back where they belong, and sometimes, by any means necessary. So, whatever the Augur asks of you, don't be afraid to do it."

The Restoration Master held up one scarred palm that looked like it had been cut open over and over in various runes. Her other palm was burned by repeated and sustained use of healing fire spells.

"Even healing magic…" Kaidan shook his head.

"Yes, dears. Even the holy light. Which could possibly be a reason why I get so much grief about it…"

Neither Kaidan nor Violet knew how to approach that one, so they excused themselves and left.

Violet rubbed her face. "I guess I should go find Sleeps-in-Blossoms while you go find whoever you were planning to talk to, then we can go back down to the Midden in a couple of hours. I have a feeling this whole Eye of Magnus business is just going to get bigger and bigger until we’ll wind up going all over the place looking for someone, anyone, who has a shred of godsdamned sense and can do something about all this."

*

Violet decided to try the eastern hothouse first, heading deep into the basement tunnels. She was expecting it to look like the Midden: grey, empty, filthy, and ugly. Instead, the slightly cramped hallways were almost homey with warm lights, low-light plants and books on every surface, wall decorations of insect alchemical specimens, and the ambient noise of running water and Dwemer pipes humming nearby. A peek into a nearby door was the stairwell up into their basement dorms; she could hear the boiler room rumbling away. She wanted to set her cloak aside on a rack since it was warm as well, but she’d probably forget it. She also smelled something familiar…

'The majority of the campus isn't this nice,' she thought to herself. "Hello?"

"I was wondering if anyone would ever find this place." A woman's deep and slightly grating voice echoed up and down the halls. "It's like no one up there has any need for alchemical knowledge. Which is fine with me. I still get paid to keep all this working."

'Must be nice,' Violet huffed. "I'm more surprised I haven't seen you despite all the …current events. Where are you?"

"Follow the sounds of water." The woman said. "Just past the mushroom rock. Feel free to sample, just not the spotted red one."

Following the sound was easy enough until Violet found a surprisingly lovely display of subterranean fungi and flora in the middle of the… was this a laboratory? A workshop? A home? She did as advertised and grabbed a simple white cap; it slowly charred around the edges as it rolled in the flames in her palm. Let's not get greedy and eat the rare and expensive cultivars. Still needed spices. There were jars of salts on a shelf and she took a pinch of fire. No wonder this woman never left, only thing missing down here was some sun. Not that Winterhold had any outside, either.

Right behind her was a cave formation leading down into a small underground pond. It was crammed with lots of devices she wasn't sure about and thus didn't mess with. Assorted fry swam around in bubbling glass tanks, and water plants were bunched up for cutting. She became mesmerized by the little colorful guppies and other water bug ingredients she couldn't keep alive in the desert (and with big voracious birds around). The Argonian woman sleepily floating face up in the pond completely missed her attention.

"I can’t release them into the pond yet, or else the mudcrabs will just eat them all," Sleeps-in-Blossoms said. "And I know about the dragons, and the weird ball in the main room, and the new dragon master. Not my specialty, none of my business."

Said dragon master remembered she was one and groaned. "Nngh. The new dragon master is actually just a tired healer who needs help with a formula and wants nothing to do with the dragons, either." Violet finally turned around to see the greyish-green Argonian woman sloshing her way back to the shore and raised her eyebrow.

"You’ve come to the right place, then. Sleeps-in-Blossoms. Good to meet a fellow master, and someone also completely out of their element in this freezing wasteland." She said as she squeezed the excess water from her white mage's tunic.

"I'm Violet. Nice to meet you," she said rather hesitantly. She didn't have anything against Argonians, though the amount of sharp teeth and claws and their monotone voices were a little confusing as to whether she'd pleased or offended them. Not that she was much better at interpreting human faces.

"I have to keep moist. The cold, dry air outside cracks my scales open. Then I have to waste ingredients on salves. And it's quiet, relaxing, and more comfortable than a bed," she tsked. "Now, what do you need help with?"

"It's all a bit complicated, and requires some more dangerous and 'rare' ingredients. I need to see if this is a viable solution." Violet brought out one of her journals and started flipping through it.

"Let's see it, then…" She crossed her arms and moved to look over Violet's shoulder. "Mm. Not moon sugar. Not potent enough. Skooma's too addictive and the body easily adjusts to it. But you're a Redguard, so traditional rules don’t quite apply. On the other hand, your frame is about the size of a Wood Elf's. Tricky. Got some time?"

She tried not to scream. Instead, it manifested as a whine. "…I think…"

Sleeps-in-Blossoms blinked at her and got a quick tongue-flick of the air around her. A gross mix of abject terror, stress, and barely restrained rage, adding up to her fidgeting and almost rocking on her feet. 'By Sithis, I see what this is for, then…'

*

Kaidan stood with his hand over his mouth, staring at the piece of paper the Master Enchanter was scribbling equations on. Sergius was just trying to make sure he had the order right, but it wasn't like Kaidan was well versed in bonding rituals. He was kind of out of it for that part…

"Look, I’m not going to tell you that it’s not going to work. It will work." Sergius said as he pointed to the paper. "I'm just telling you right now that it sounds like it's going to create more problems than it’ll solve."

He didn’t understand nearly any of the formulas on there. "You have no idea how many problems I have to deal with, already. This will at least ease my mind for some of them."

"More than the dragons?"

"Including the one I'm giving this to." Kaidan grumbled under his breath.

Sergius raised his eyebrows, looked up at Kaidan, then gave a sly grin. "Oh. Oh hoho…"

He glared right back. "How much."

An itemized list was scribbled on the back. "Two items, both high quality but no focusing gems, that’s extra, two incredibly powerful spells, one slightly dangerous, that’s a hazard tax and a waiver agreement, permanent enchantment, two Grand soul gems…" The enchanter pushed the piece of paper back to Kaidan.

"…That much?!" Kaidan looked at the paper as if it couldn't possibly be correct. He thought about just how much the wall of teleporting crystal balls upstairs must have cost. No wonder no one was allowed to just come and go through there as they pleased…

"Well, I could take off another five thousand if you brought me two focusing gems and two Grands."

Damn soul stealing magic. "I understand the Grand gems. What’s a focusing gem?"

Sergius hummed in annoyance. "Don’t really have time to explain the principles, but precious stones like diamonds, sapphires, and rubies can passively pull, concentrate, and hold magicka for spells."

"So this." He pointed to the ruby amulet around his neck.

"Exactly, though not half as shoddy as that. Best quality you can get your hands on, preferably," the master enchanter scoffed.

"I think I have something. Be back in a few minutes," Kaidan growled as he left, wanting to cuff the nosy, old Imperial for insulting Starfall's work, but then he'd have to find someone else to do it. He didn't quite trust Nelacar enough for this…

*

"Oi, Starfall. Do you have any filled Grand soul gems left?" He eventually found her coming out of one of the hothouses. She looked… a lot more relaxed than when they left the forge.

"And just wha' you need with 'em? Sir 'Magic-is-Scary'." Violet's Craglorn accent was thick and playful instead of her usual carefully imperialized (but still very noticeable) accent. She brought her pack around anyway and started fishing among the Azura Star's broken pieces and the excess looted ones.

He stared at her a moment. "What did you do down there? Lady 'Eats-Weird-Mushrooms'."

She sighed and hated that she knew this was coming. Worse that she already prepared an explanation and tightened her words back up again. "First of all, there's no mushrooms in this mixture, and I only ate a common white cap that goes in food, so shush. Blossoms took one look at me and said I looked like I was going to vibrate out of my damn skin. She also heard me screaming in the forge earlier. Maybe we should have gone all the way back to Old Winterhold. Anyway, we are both master alchemists, and she is in possession of legal alchemical methodologies and ingredients that are more common in Black Marsh than they are here. No, it's not skooma. Put that thought away right now. It's not even moon sugar.

"I won't ever ask you to partake; I know you need to be careful. Is it addictive? Probably. Most long term medicines are, but Blossoms and I will try to find an easier substitute if this works out alright. Since this is only a test, it will wear off in a few hours, and then I'll be back to my normally frazzled and temperamental self. Likely slightly moodier or dull for a few hours after that." She dropped two large, smoky, blue crystals into his hand and patted his cheek.

Kaidan didn't know this Starfall and he wasn't sure he liked her. He kept leering at her suspiciously. Two plus two added up slowly. "…It's Hist sap, isn’t it?"

He really knew too much for his own good. "Micro doses. Look. I am tired of feeling like panicky shit over every single thing, sen lu'he. This is what we came here to find, remember? Better medicine. Answers. Honestly, I probably should have seen her first instead of going straight to the library and winding up nearly losing what little mind I have left. And you still haven't answered my question."

"…You’ll see, hopefully before we end up leaving again." And he turned to go back to the Countenance dorms. 'Seen luay? Must be her Yokudan words.'

"Hmph. Those were my last two. It better be good. Now, where is Drevis?" She turned around in a circle to reorient herself and went back to the Hall of Elements.

*

Kaidan grumbled and handed over the two items, an emerald, a diamond, two soul gems, and (with a lot of pain) five thousand septims. Starfall's new mood would likely dissolve instantly if she knew that all of their money was gone. Especially since he was just chiding her about buying something that he technically told her to the other day. But this was for a good cause. Some of us can't get peace of mind out of a bottle (not that he hadn’t tried).

"This might take a bit. Have all the materials here, but you're asking for a really complicated spell set." Sergius picked up a warhorn and started turning it over and around. "Probably attach the focusing gem to the rim, here…"

"More than a day? I have a feeling we'll be right back out of here, soon."

"I don't have any other orders lined up for once because everyone is terrified of the college again, so I guess either tonight or first thing in the morning." The enchanting master rolled his eyes. Everyone's always rush, rush, rush.

"Hmm. Fine, then. I still have work to do in the library. And don't tell Starfall if she comes snooping."

"It's like that, is it?" he chuckled. "I saw you two out in the courtyard."

"Why is everyone around here so averse to minding their own business?" Kaidan muttered.

"Because our business is boring and monotonous, lad. Same things day in and day out. Someone letting their rivalry get out of hand. Someone fills Ancano's room with invisible spiders. The secret meetings behind the stairwell, in the Midden, and at the ruins. Study, study, study, study. Fill endless orders from the outside world. And the paperwork. Good gods, gossip and field work are the only things that keep us sane." He was already fishing around in a cabinet for his enchanting tools.

'Sane.' He understood why Starfall preferred to lose herself in the library, now.

*

"Oh, you finally came back! Your vision doesn’t seem to be stuck on another plane and you’re not screaming about the invisible spiders, so I take it my notes were helpful?" Drevis grinned and put a thick tome back on its shelf. He quickly stood in front of it to block her view.

Violet's eye twitched. "What?"

He grabbed her shoulder and started leading her to the upper floor of the library. "It's fine!"

Once they were up in the study area, he invited her to sit in a quiet alcove and paced a little bit. "It's also interesting. Illusion is one of the most difficult schools to even get into, let alone progress in. But here you are looking for more after only a couple of weeks! So how can I help you further?"

'Why? Why did you say there were spiders, you obviously aberrant man?' She couldn't feel anything, but the fool had said something and she started to imagine tiny invisible spiders walking on the invisible threads stuck through her body. Gods bless this new potion Blossoms helped with because everything would likely be ruined about now. "Your instructions were a little… off, but I still figured out the Clairvoyance spell. It worked well in finding all of the hidden areas in the Midden. I need a different spell, now. Except, I don't know if it even exists. And if it doesn't, can we create it?"

"You want to go from your first novice seeking spell, straight to Theoretical Cognitive Manipulation, which is master class." He paused for a moment and rubbed his chin. "Huh."

"You haven't even heard what I want to do, yet."

"Alright then, considering you’re a prodigy enough you've also picked up the lost magic of dragons, and you're actually taking being on Hist sap very well."

First Kaidan and now him. She turned defensive. "How do you even know—"

"Your aetheric aura looks like an Argonian's, which means Sleeps-in-Blossoms probably helped you. At least it’s not that annoying moon sugar. You probably have a good reason for it. The whole dragon thing is probably stressful."

"Ah," she cleared her throat. "So, I need a self-target permanent spell—"

"Ooh. Okay, we’re going to have to stop there. 'Illusion' and 'permanent' are incredibly dangerous together. Those are often called curses. And on yourself? Trust me on this. You do not want to do that." Drevis had stopped looking at her and ran his hand through his frizzy, white hair.

'Fucked up one of your own spells, have you?' She raised an eyebrow. "Fine. A test run to see if it's viable. I just want to alter my perception a little bit so I don’t… 'shut down' or become incapacitated in 'certain disturbing situations'. Like when there’s invisible spiders crawling all over everything."

"Ohhhh…" The Illusion Master thought for a few moments, then went downstairs to grab a book. "One minute."

She looked around for a piece of paper and charcoal, and found some on another table when he came back and set a book in front of her.

He gave her a wink. "Here you go. Common problem. Nothing to be ashamed of. Especially in your dangerous line of work."

"…You’re kidding me." She picked up the book and started flipping through the table of contents. There were several chapters on different afflictions and how to switch their effects on and off at the brain level.

He shook his head. "No, actually. Mine is butterflies. Creepy little harbingers… And I’m surprised you hadn’t sought it out sooner, even if you are a Redguard."

"All I can say is that my options were very restricted before. They aren't now. And I hate that the answer was right here and probably back in Elinhir all this time. Like I'm actually really, really angry about how I couldn't have this before because of traditional superstition and …other reasons." A small dusting of frost gathered on the table, which was progress considering how angry she wanted to be.

'Ah. So that’s what the Hist sap is for.' Drevis looked at the ice patch and covered his mouth. "Can I… see something, for just a moment? Nothing dangerous, I assure you. I just want to see what exactly makes up a Dragonborn, other than lots of chemicals and spells holding you together, evidently."

"Or you could just ask me?" she said with apprehension.

"You wouldn’t be able to describe what I want to know." He said as he cast the Tenth Eye on himself.

Drevis's bright eyes defocused and shot upward as his face went from cheerful curiosity to bloodless, silent horror in an instant.

"That’s not good." Violet knew that whatever was churning around in her mind, body, soul, the Hunger and Power, and that spiderweb (now crawling with Drevis's invisible spiders) from the Eye probably created a complete monstrosity, but he still could have been a bit more subtle about it.

"So… um… did you know there’s a kind of… spider web—"

"Yes. That's the Eye of Magnus. I’m working on getting rid of it," she sighed.

"And that you're… uhh…" he spread his arms upward and wide.

"Don’t."

"And the darkness—"

"Stop staring. Please," she groaned and put her head down on the table. "Kind of killing my mood, here."

Drevis waved his hand over his eyes and immediately calmed down. She was just a small, justifiably confused and upset, mortal, human woman again. "…Sorry. I mean, it's incredibly fascinating in a, 'Wow, that's a lot,' kind of way."

"I know it's a lot. And there’s going to be more." Her voice went dead.

"I'm going to find you a few more books." He got up slowly and backed away from the table.

Chapter 13

Summary:

The Augur of Dunlain.

Chapter Text

After talking to whichever scholars they could find, Violet and Kaidan reconvened at the library to share how much progress they’d made. The only things left for them were for her to get rid of Azura’s Star and find the Augur, and for Kaidan to get his 'surprise' later. 

"So there’s just… a spell. That turns off that little panic lever in your brain whenever there’s spiders." He picked up the book and started flipping through it. 'Wonder if there’s one for fire…' 

"Evidently." She shrugged and kept writing out of one of the other books that Drevis was kind enough to recommend. This one was about how to "supplement your 'bodyguard's' abilities", and it actually looked to be interesting instead of terrible with a high chance of backfiring. "Did you want to continue your research before we're likely to be sent on another stupid fetchit instead of working on what I need to?" 

"That's what our lives are turning into, isn't it?" he mumbled and leaned his head on his hand. "Very dangerous couriers." 

"We should start charging more." 

Kaidan gave her book back and returned to his own. The more recent history books from the Third Era were slightly more useful, but not much since they were either written by the Akaviri's enemies (native Tamrielans), or focusing on some unrelated topic with them as a footnote. Some even suggested that the Akaviri actually are capable of powerful magic. He held off on that. There were more important things, like what were the Thalmor looking for? And fucking Ancano called him and his kind slaves. He tried not to think of that bastard messing with him. People like that tend to use the truth if that’s what hurts more… 

"I think the Thalmor are afraid they weren't as successful at wiping out the Blades as they thought. That’s what they were hinting at when they first interrogated me. Bah, they probably still know more than I do right now," he whispered. "And we’re right under their noses." 

"Finding out would require us to find a high-ranking officer and find out what they know. Ancano’s been trapped here for months, so it probably wouldn't be him," Violet said. 

Kaidan gave her an evil grin. "I would be willing to look the other way for a few hours while you 'ask him questions'. Just this once." 

"Hmph. Sure, when it suits you. Just let me know when you’re ready to go." 

They both skimmed their books for a few hours longer, and just before the sun went down, they packed their things and went back down to the Midden. Violet wasn’t exactly expecting another disaster like Old Winterhold, and she wasn’t dressed for any adventures, anyway. Colette assured her that she'd gone all the way down to the foundation and there were no residual energies left. The ice spiders and wraiths hadn't come back in either, which was even better. 

Making their way back down, they found the room where the church door was supposed to be and found nothing but a wall of ice. The room felt different, now. Lifeless and empty, at least until they passed through the side hall and a creepy effigy made of skeletal arms and hands let them know they’d reached The Dark. Violet produced a magelight which made shadows dance everywhere. Even deeper, the natural formations of the ice pillar were both apparent, and scary as Kaidan led her across a narrow ice bridge over a chasm. At the bottom, he could see another path going even lower. 

"I think we’re close, now," Kaidan said. "Though I'm not sure I want anything to do with this Augur if he's the one leaving these effigies." 

"I should have checked to see if there was a spell on heights." 

"Why didn’t you?" 

She shuddered. "I was too focused on the invisible spiders Drevis said were everywhere." 

"The master enchanter mentioned something about that. Why are there—" 

“Don't know. I still don’t want to think about it.” 

"Preferring you hadn't said anything, to own the truth." Kaidan let go of her once they were well into an ice cave with some alcoves carved into it. He saw a room off to the side that looked like a ritual chamber, but it wasn't behind a door, so he wasn’t going to bother. They wound up at a dead end with only a locked door wedged directly into the ice, and a ladder leading out to the foundation. 

"This must be the place? I wonder if anyone else comes down this far. It doesn’t look like there's much." Violet looked around before knocking on the door. 

"Look down." Kaidan leaned on the wall next to the door and nodded at the ground. The gritty ice and snow had been disturbed by two pairs of boots and the curve of the door swinging open. 

Violet only hummed. She had a guess who’d beaten her here, but it didn't make much sense considering that would mean he would have known about the Augur before even the Psijic Order had come to tell her. 

"The Psijic Order might have suggested to you that I am attuned to current events, but the knowledge you seek will only disappoint you further," the hollow, echoing voice said. 

Violet looked all around and scoffed. "Even more disappointed than the fact that the end of the godsdamned world is on my shoulders twice over?!" 

"Breathe, Star," Kaidan told her. "It might not even be that. Also sounds like your potion’s wearing off." 

"The Blood of Akatosh is more attuned to the lifeblood of Mundus and her divinity than even she realizes. That is part of her pain, as mortals are not equipped for such information. But you persist through it."  

"Divinity." She rolled her eyes. "Can we come in, now, please?" 

"Very well. I both do and do not have what you are looking for."  

The door opened on its own, and Violet shielded her eyes. Kaidan leaned around the corner and was instantly wary of the creature that looked eerily like what he’d seen inside of the Eye. As he moved to follow her, the Augur told him to wait. 

"Hold, Dragonguard. This test is for a Master of Restoration. You may enter once she has completed her trial. It will not be long."  

Kaidan was about to argue, but Starfall told him it was alright. 

Violet bit her lip. "Considering my other master's exams, being in the same room would probably kill you outright. Or he could make you into a test subject." 

He thought a moment about how she was able to devastate the landscape, and Colette's warning. "Hn. What ever happened to just asking a couple questions?" 

"That was upstairs with Colette. Have to show practical knowledge, too. Most likely still going to be easier than having a whole damn church fall on top of us," she grumbled. "Be right back, I guess." 

Once the door to the little round room closed behind her, she tried to get her eyes to adjust. 'Is this what Colette meant by accident? Being trapped at the bottom of the Midden with no body?' 

"Colette has already told you. You must be tested before knowledge can be imparted to you."  

Her shoulders fell. "I suppose like everything else so far, that I don’t have any choice in the matter?" 

"You could turn back and let fate take its course. You will find no solace in the knowledge you find here."  

"Fate as a concept is pure evil and I hate it. Let's get this over with." 

"As you wish." The Augur then opened a portal beside her. "Let us begin."  

Violet touched the light and suddenly felt much lighter, colder, and dull as if part of her mind and body had been shut off. She winced as now her feet were quickly getting sapped of heat by the freezing stone floor. She hissed at the Augur, "You could have at least let me keep my boots. My clothes weren't even enchanted. And I'm sure the Psijic Order is enjoying the free show." 

He went on without acknowledging her. "You will rely on your skill as a Restoration mage only. Not on your belongings, not on your potions. Only what lies within. Survive, and you are worthy. This is the test put before you."  

"But I’m a Redguard. We lost our magic aeons ago and don’t have the internal reserves to do powerful magic like elves. That's what the damn supplements were for." 

"You are already capable with what you have. Begin."  

A shade appeared right beside her, brandishing a sword. The slash nearly removed her arm, and a lot of curses and blood flowed. 

"Shit!" Violet shrieked and filled the injury with bright white light as she ran away from the shade. The healing light worked quick to stitch her arm back together, then reshaped into a fiery blade which she threw at it. It passed clean through without dispersing it, who kept coming after her. "Really?!" 

"You have to survive," was all the Augur said as he produced another shade. 

This one had a jagged ice spear, which would do a hell of a lot more damage than the cold steel. She could create a ward, but gods, those drained her fast

'Just time it right.' 

Her fingers flexed nervously as she wasn't the best at timing. Potions gave her a larger window to work with. Plus, now her dominant arm was screaming at her. She didn't really work much on the whole 'not taking shortcuts' thing while she was at home because it didn't seem that important at the time. Godsdamn it, past Violet. 

The shade with the sword chased her closer to the one with the spear, who tried to impale her through the belly. Her aetheric shield manifested just in time, but as the ice spear crashed into it, it and her shield exploded into shrapnel that was just as dangerous. Dozens of little but deep cuts opened up across her belly and breasts. More swearing, but only the worst of them were sealed off. 

Her head was starting to hurt from the constant instinct of trying to grab that other, more efficient, reliable, effective magic. "Survive for how long, damn it?!" 

"Soon."  

She hated that word almost as much as fate. 

A third shade appeared right behind her, and she couldn’t dodge that one's lightning. Pain and panic shot across her back and dropped her to one hand and her knees. The one armed with a sword quickly moved around the base of the Augur's font, and as soon as Violet felt cold metal brush against her throat, her remaining magicka and a good dose of her blood burned a circle of light into the floor. The shades around the room howled and groaned as they tried to flee, but were trapped. Spiderwebs of light crawled outward from her ward and wove around the room to catch the undead and reduce them to ash. 

"I swear to fuck, if you say there's more…" she growled loudly and put her head against the floor. 'Stupid stupid stupid why did you panic like that?! Now there's nothing left!' 

The Augur seemed to watch her (or maybe sense her since he didn’t have eyes) and deliberate for an uncomfortably long time. "…You are worthy. The knowledge is yours."  

"Minute. Blood loss." 

She was gently levitated, refreshed back to perfect (well, her normal) health, and set on her feet with her clothes back on. 

"You did well for the deliberate holes left in your knowledge."  

"What do you mean, 'deliberate'?" It was true that there were some things that she was kept from or refused learning, like the darker aspects of Restoration magic and all of Illusion magic. But he was making it sound like something else was kept from her by someone? 

The Augur of Dunlain reached out from his well with motes of magic, and those 'holes' that she didn’t even know were there were instantly filled with a whole lot of things she was perfectly happy not knowing and a few that felt like far too much responsibility. The Divine version of KRII called Circle of Death: to draw a rune under a weakened lifeform and the runes would trap the rest. Recycling that magic just used on any nearby corpses for another round. To unleash her Godform to grant herself infinite magic directly from Aetherius for a few crucial minutes. Using them to create a more powerful, and even dangerous aetheric shield for free. The blood magic that Colette hinted at. Powers she could grant to others by Divine Right. And her namesake. 

That was a mistake.  

Violet sat down on the floor and started rocking herself back and forth. "I mean… not exactly the knowledge I was looking for." 

"You were warned."  

The door finally opened for Kaidan and he immediately ran over to her. "Are you alright?" 

"…You know that feeling after we left Sanguine’s party?" 

He shuddered. "Yes." 

"Need another minute." 

"The trial was that bad?" He frowned and sat with her again. Being closer to the floor let him notice that fading spiderwebs were pretty much everywhere, including the large circle of blood they were sitting in. 

"Yes and no." 

"By the Nine! What did you do?!" 

She only sighed and pinched between her eyebrows. 

"Okay, stupid question. Fair enough." He was still staring at the disturbing web of light and blood that started underneath her. "What about the Eye?" 

"We have not discussed that, yet."  

"Kaidan…" Her shaking and rocking sped up. "It was already difficult before." 

"What was?" 

"The Power and the Hunger." 

"The trial made them worse? You're not making any sense." He did see something he didn't like in her eyes. Or maybe that was the Augur reflecting off of them… 

"The Blood of Akatosh is almost fully realized now."  

She almost reached for Kaidan with a glowing hand, but stopped herself at the last second. "I really do not want to be wasting time with that goddamn artifact upstairs when it feels like the curse keeps pushing me towards Alduin. I’ll show you once we’re out of here." 

"Then those who have sent you have not told you what they seek. What you seek."  

"The Psijic Order said they were blocked from scrying by the Eye. They're not entirely sure what’s going on, either," Violet said. 

"You seek that which all who wield magic seek. Knowledge. You shall find this: Knowledge will corrupt. I have given you only a taste, and you already know it will destroy and consume. You seek meaning, shelter in Knowledge. You will not find it. The Thalmor sought the same thing, and it shall lead to their end as it has so many others."  

"I figured it was their boots I saw outside. Likely after the same thing. He opened the Eye, and now he's obsessed. When he's not focused on trying to trap me," she grumbled. 

"But then how do you know about it?" Kaidan asked the Augur. 

"This form exists outside of the physical realms. I see Aetherius leaking into Mundus via the Eye. I see the now broken lock. I see it has become a beacon to those drawn to Aetherius, as you are a beacon to those seeking power, and you are drawn to all Knowledge. The one who calls himself Ancano has sought my knowledge as well, through very different questions. Your path differs from all. You are being guided, pushed towards something. I will tell you what you need to know to follow it further."  

Violet whined into her hands and leaned on Kaidan's side. "I… I hate all of that. You know what I really seek? I seek to stop what I saw in my dream this morning. Of all of existence turning to ash. Because I've been told that this is something only I can do. And what you've already shown me has given me… I don’t know. I want to say hope, but what is a few seconds of ripping the sky open going to do but flood the mortal plane and do something just as terrible? Am I calling Magnus to come get his shit? Cause I'll go out and do that right now, if that’s the case." 

Kaidan sort of wished he could understand what they were talking about, just so he could actually be a part of this conversation. 

"That is not for Magnus."  

"And my Godform?" 

"Your what?!" Kaidan ogled her. 

"It will tell you how to use it."  

She was still rubbing her face. "What about the 'holes in my knowledge'?" 

The Augur hesitated. "You will meet them, eventually. You will be able to ask them, yourself. There are some things even I am still forbidden from approaching. And you should consider carefully in how much you need that Knowledge."  

Always eventually, sometimes soon. Kaidan sighed, "So what happens now ?" 

"She, and those aiding her, wish to know more about the Eye of Magnus. You wish to avoid disaster. To see through Magnus's Eye, you require one of several complementary tools. For Starfall, the staff component is the most useful. Events now spiral quickly towards the inevitable center, so you must act with haste. Take this knowledge to the Archmage."  

"And more soon." Violet took a deep breath. "One last question. About you." 

"Ask."  

She looked at the formless light and pure magicka. "Was it worth it?" 

"Not in the sense that you are asking." He almost sounded sad. 

She mumbled, "Oh. Sorry." and left. 

Kaidan looked back and forth between them. 

Instead of heading back up towards the college, they tried out the frozen path leading out to the foundation holding up the college. It was doubtful anyone went out there, as it was freezing, hard to access, and it was disturbing to look up at the hundreds of tons of stone and ice looking like it would collapse and crush them at any moment. Most of the dragon Violet and Kaidan had fought had washed out to sea. Violet found her seething rock and perched on it while Kaidan studied what was left of Yolnaaklah’s bones. 

"I learned Restoration and Alchemy when I was young because I thought I could find a cure for whatever was wrong with me. The painful noise. The confusion. Getting lost in my own mind, or even other people’s words and minds, for lengths of time. Everyone thinking I was simple-headed, not paying attention, afraid of people, going mad, seeing both more than I should and yet not half of what other people saw. 

"I learned how to heal others in any and every way, but it never became what I really wanted. I could keep myself stable, or almost normal for stretches at a time. Just enough to make everyone think I was mostly okay. Just forgetful or distracted and not completely haunted. I could fix bones, cure diseases, mix love potions, and deadly poisons. 'For the assassin beetles only,' I would say, as I knew full well it was going into some abusive piece of shit’s liquor in a couple of hours and decompose into inert herbal extracts a few hours after that. 

"And now, everything is so completely out of control, but that’s okay, because people believe in me. 

"I mean, I obviously knew I didn't know everything, or even most things, but now the Augur tells me that someone was deliberately keeping a lot of knowledge from me. Could I have prepared for all this? Or maybe even at least a little? …Not that I would have believed it, but still .” Violet stared out at the horizon. 

"So you don't trust any of us when we know full well you can do it?" Kaidan frowned at her. Not that she could see it. "Especially when one of the first things you yelled at me about was not to act that you didn't know what you were doing?" 

"There’s a big godsdamned difference between patching a stab wound or creating one, and trying to get a Divine relic to stop digging into my brain and doing gods know what before something… happens. Notice those two things are absolutely nothing alike." She drew her legs up to cross them over each other and grumbled. "But fuck me for still being mortal and getting scared, sometimes." 

He shook his head. "So what exactly did the Augur show you that has your head all confused again?" 

She wanted to be mean for that, but sighed and left it alone. "He filled in a few of the gaps in my knowledge. I think there’s still more. I don't know if I want it. I certainly don’t like what he gave me. You'll probably find my Blessing of Kings interesting, though. …Can I? It's something like a tiny part of what Akatosh gave me, so you won't wind up as a Daedra, or Draconic, or anything terrible." 

Violet hopped down and went over to Kaidan and the pile of bones. He was specifically studying where he'd chopped off the tail and nodded to her. As he turned around, she formed a spell that looked a bit like a brighter but more compact magelight. It absorbed into his chest and made him gasp in surprise. The Dovahkriid clutched his chest where that spell went and started looking around frantically. The world was now brighter even as the sun had gone down, and everything became more… real? Acute? Pronounced. Just like when Jolfir had stopped haunting him and gave him his senses back, but now there was so much more

He could hear the icy tower holding up the college creaking, the sound of his rapid breathing and heartbeat was now too loud, and Starfall's magic gave off a horrible ringing noise. Is this what she had to put up with day in and day out?! He could see the minute movements of the pillar above them, and even more islands further out to sea. His leather under-armor was all strange and rough under his fingers where it had felt just fine before, and the stinging sea air was now burning cold. 

The Sea of Ghosts smelled like ice and death. Starfall's storm and flowers were almost dizzying next to him, and he finally understood why she complained about him smelling of metal and oil. The new boundless energy and strength was almost unpleasant, but it would probably feel perfect if it were only passing through him while fighting and not standing still. 

Starfall was something more. Slightly brighter? Or was that part of everything being bright? But he could sense her fear as if it were his own. The unknown. Why she was obsessed with knowledge like the Augur said. It was attached to something else deep inside her, and it made a pit of Hunger and Darkness form in his own chest… 

"What… is…?" He was breathing heavily and trying to push down everything now bombarding his senses. 

"Just like I can pull magicka through myself to restore life, I can now mold it into strength and power. That would have allowed you to kill Kahvozein a lot faster (if I'd had enough magicka to bless you, anyway), and likely even withstand being shouted at. But only for a few crucial minutes. I can't make it last forever. Just like I can't hold this form for very long. A 'present' from Tolfdir after he and the others studied the dragon they killed." 

Violet drew a rune across her chest and her dark red skin hardened and changed into little, dark gold dragon scales. Of course they'd be the color she didn't like. They even took up deep grooves where her scars crossed her skin. She growled softly and scratched at where six little horns sprouted along the edge of her scalp like a crown. "He says this isn’t what happened when he tried it, but he's also not dragon-blooded. It should be stronger than Daedra-forged ebony, as long as you in particular don’t go stabbing me with your Akaviri weapons." 

Kaidan couldn't help but stare at all the little spikes under her clothes until his eyes drifted a little too low. "…Do the scales cover your—" 

"Godsdamn it, Kaidan…" she sighed. 

'Kind of looks like something went wrong with an Argonian.' He chuckled and covered his mouth. "Sorry." 

She flicked his forehead and left a tiny, stinging welt from her claw, before dispelling her Dragonhide and rubbing the welt out with a touch of healing. "Shame blessings don’t work on your humor. There’s other things, but without anything to kill, it’d be pointless to show them off." 

The little mark between his eyebrows still stung slightly (as did her reaction). As he poked at it, his senses all went back to normal. On one hand, he was glad that awful gnawing pit was gone, on the other hand, there was a rush that he needed more of. He shook the thought loose. "Hey. Just like you told me. You're still you. Let’s go get some food and that oversized soul gem out of your pack." 

 

Chapter 14

Summary:

I wonder if anyone's made a mod player home with the inside of Azura's Star as the aesthetic…

Chapter Text

The other trick that Violet showed off was being able to teleport them. She moved them within viewing distance of the big tree high above them at the edge of town, then used a potion to open a large oval of light that appeared both in front of them, and another just barely visible from the cliff angle. 

“Now what’s your horse going to do?” Kaidan asked. 

“Tiku still has a job. This is just to show you how it works. You don’t need to hold onto me, but you'll have to go first and get out of the way so I can safely pass through and close it after myself.” 

He nodded to her and put his hand into the distortion of light; it didn't feel like anything except for a small step down and a strange flash of the world. He had a quick look around and moved away from the portal as he checked to make sure he was all there. A few seconds later, Starfall appeared where he had just been standing, then turned and dispelled the lights. 

“And a lot of saved time instead of climbing all the way back up from the beach,” she said. 

“Hmm. Hope this shortcut isn’t one of those little things you’re not actually supposed to be doing.” 

“It is.” 

He shook his head. “Of course.” 

They made their way over to the Frozen Hearth, and as usual, Violet had to make sure that Tiku was faring alright in such a miserable frozen place, and while he was, he was also angry about having been left alone for so long. Kaidan went inside to bring out treats so she could spoil him. Inside, Nelacar was still there and arguing with Dagur over some experiment gone wrong. Ah, they were just in time, then. Hopefully, he was better at fixing soul gems than whatever had led him to ‘turn things inside-out and explode them’. 

“Oi, Nelacar. You have time tonight? Starfall ran your little errand.” Kaidan said as he went up to the counter. 

“She found it?!” Nelacar almost shouted, then lowered his voice. “Yes. Yes, alright. Just meet me in the back when you’re ready.” 

“Hm.” He nodded then went back outside with a bowl of things horses liked. “Nelacar agreed to take care of that thing for us. I think we need to be careful about this, though. I really mean it about anything to do with Daedra.” 

Violet had hung up a magelight to see, and was brushing and spoiling Tiku who was glad for the attention. She helped herself to his carrots to get out of trying to calm Kaidan’s fears. “Just let me pet my horse for a bit, please.” 

Kaidan leaned on a post and watched her sit with Tiku. Just how much had Starfall learned about the various Princes that she either seemed confident about her dealings, or more likely, was too driven to care? He had to admit that he didn’t know much more than her about Azura as her worship was still not widely accepted outside of Dark Elven spaces. But it couldn’t be all sunshine and roses since her artifact was designed to steal souls endlessly without cost. 

And Starfall was already trying her best not to lose herself, while it seemed everyone and everything around her wanted to see what would break her, or how fast they could do it. Her Hunger was alive somehow, and seemingly woke up at random to prod her. Sanguine took about a week. Azura was probably going to backstab her, somehow. The Divines were behind the Eye of Magnus, but they were supposed to be benevolent. Ancano couldn’t possibly be powerful enough to corrupt it, could he? 

But then, here they were, going through Oblivion for another ‘holy’ artifact because some fool mortal managed to abuse it. Kaidan did know through Mehrunes Dagon that some of the Princes were specifically forbidden from directly interfering with mortal affairs or even coming to Tamriel, but that meant absolutely nothing, evidently. Especially with plenty of suckers on this side willing to do their dirty work for them. 

After casting a few refreshing spells on Tiku and leaving him the basket of food, Violet got up and stretched. “I think I like the formula I came up with today with Sleeps-in-Blossoms. But it’s expensive and rare. I’ll see how I feel tomorrow.” 

“It worked well from what I saw. Might take some getting used to you not being…” 

“Upset? Angry? Frantic?” she sighed. 

“Constantly over-stressed,” he said. 

Instead of going right to Nelacar, they waited for Starfall to get some of her energy back with food, and she wrote down all of the knowledge that the Augur of Dunlain had shared with her. Kaidan read over her shoulder and (tried to) understand Starfall’s explanations. Most of it actually made sense despite the complexity of the topic and Starfall’s strange way of explaining things, sometimes. 

She’d said before that the Eye of Magnus wasn’t alive. But it was more like some of the things the Dwemer made. It was like a machine; but not even that, really. He’d seen them fixed up; it was a spider or mudcrab-looking contraption that moved on metal legs and poked with its front pincers. Why the missing Dwarves needed brass mudcrab-spiders was beyond him at that point in time, because it was also spitting lightning and trying to kill him. The thing at the college looked far, far beyond anything the Dwemer made, and their stuff was almost impossible to figure out. 

Nelacar was reading and making notes when the two of them walked into his room. 

“You really found it?” 

Violet looked at him and bit her lip. “Yes.” 

“I don’t like that look.” Nelacar was already bracing himself. 

She fished around in her bag, then put the Star and several cracked black crystals on the counter. “You said it couldn’t be broken.” 

Nelacar covered his mouth and stared at the pile. “Stendarr's mercy… Malyn, what have you done ?” 

“Can you fix it?” Kaidan asked. 

“I… think… Yes. It’ll take some work, but this is my chance to make all this right and finish it.” He picked up the artifact and turned it around and over in examination. “…This isn’t encouraging. Look at these fissures. It looks like someone tried to use tools on it in desperation. And there’s obviously still a soul inside.” 

“He had a whole cult going and they were kidnapping people around Riverwood and the lake to feed this thing,” Violet said. 

“Gods.” Kaidan shook his head. 

“That certainly wouldn’t help. We’ve got to get him out of there. I can’t do anything while it’s still full.” Nelacar said. “But there’s wards up. We can’t even use it to enchant something to get him out.” 

“I don’t suppose you can tell whether it’s a funnel or if he can still sense us out here and can raise and lower the wards at will? Because all the way up until I picked it up a few days ago, it was still actually working and was accepting souls into it.” 

He hummed in concentration as he felt out the enchantments. “It’s a funnel. Souls are allowed in, but nothing can be allowed out. Only thing I can think of is if I can get someone’s soul in there and they’d be able to overpower his remnant.” 

Violet squinted at him. “You want to drop yet another person in there. There’s already been who knows how many people fed into this thing. If no one’s been able to evict him by now…” 

“I doubt that anyone who’s been fed to the Star has even had the chance to fight back. I mean for someone capable and prepared, and hasn’t been ritually sacrificed.” Nelacar said, looking directly at Violet. 

No.” Kaidan stepped up to the counter beside Starfall and grabbed her shoulder. “I know you.” 

“I didn’t even get the chance to say no myself, yet. Damn. Why can’t you do it?” she asked Nelacar. 

“Because I’m a scholar, not a fighter. He’d tear me apart. And I can’t split up my own soul. It’d be like trying to draw myself without a mirror.” 

Violet scoffed. “Ha! I used to try and get out of shit by saying I was a scholar. It stopped working when the dragons came.” 

“Well, unless you’re a master at soul manipulation, there needs to be someone out here to monitor if things get out of control. I have to pull you out when you’re done, plus I’ll also be keeping your body alive and soul linked.” 

Kaidan raised an eyebrow. “Soul manipulation can do all that? Like pull a soul back out of a gem and move them around outside of a person’s body?” 

“Yes. Malyn’s work went very deep into finding himself suitable containers after he realized there was no cure for his affliction. And then it all became twisted when the Star came into play. He needs to be put to rest.” 

“He was nothing but a skeleton when I found him, and not even a necromantically animated one,” Violet frowned. 

Nelacar became very grim, then opened one of his books and started calculating. “Then it’s definitely past time. I’ll give you time to decide, but we need to work quickly. Just removing Malyn won’t purify the Star, and it will stay Black once I’m done. If I simply leave it in this state, it’ll fall apart and likely wind up leaving this plane altogether to return to Oblivion on its own. Then we’ll have done all this for nothing. Whatever Azura promised you, or more likely threatened you with, will be forfeit.” 

Violet turned to Kaidan. “I need you to not do that thing where you dodge the truth because you’re either trying to keep me safe, or think I’ll overreact. Is Azura still bothering you about this?” 

He looked into her eyes and could see either way she was going to do it. “But you do overreact. And then put everyone in danger. Just let Azura take it back on her own.” 

“And then all of his victims get no resolution or justice,” Nelacar said bitterly. 

She took her own book out and found her notes. “She said I have to take his soul. Somehow. So, I think I have to do this, anyway.” 

Kaidan sighed in resignation, then turned to Nelacar. “Explain to me how this works. In mundane terms.” 

“Well, first I cast a sort of Soul Trap on her, but instead of taking her whole soul, it’s only a part. There still needs to be something left in her body to keep it alive. I’m also putting a sort of tether on her soul so I can keep track of her and know when to bring her back. Then, she will go in and subdue… kill Malyn. Hopefully, since you say the Star was guarded by an entire cult worshipping him and you got rid of them, he shouldn’t be much more trouble. Once his soul is gone, all of the enchantments and barriers he set up should come down.” 

“Should.” Kaidan scoffed. 

“These are the sorts of spells that need to be kept active and maintained. Without him, the enchantments aren’t being fed the souls and magicka they need, and they fail. Then I can remove her soul from the Star, put it back in her body, and get to work on the empty gem to restore it. I know it probably doesn’t make you feel any better, but as a Master Enchanter, I’ve done this before. But after that, it’s all her. You absolutely must not die in there, or else I won’t have anything to put back.” 

Kaidan suddenly remembered and tapped her shoulder. “Will you being inside the soul gem and not in your body affect… all the other ones?” 

Violet covered her mouth. “I honestly have no idea. Huh.” 

“Ah. The dragons.” Nelacar rubbed his chin. “Yes, I know you’re a bit of an anomaly. Don’t worry, I have no interest in getting into any of that ever again, after this. I should hope that the part of you that is keeping you alive is also strong enough to keep them from doing anything.” 

“This better be worth it.” Violet grumbled under her breath, then set her bag down. “What do I need to do?” 

He pointed to his bed in the corner. “Lie down and brace yourself. Soul severing has a slightly painful physical reaction.” 

She took the time to groan, whine, and pace for a few seconds before looking between him and Kaidan. Instead of lying down, she sat up against the wall with her legs crossed over each other. Nelacar came over and held his hand over her forehead while the Star was in his other hand. All Violet saw was a small flash and the feeling of pins and needles all over. Kaidan watched as Starfall seemingly dropped off into a deep sleep, and then Nelacar set the Star back on the counter. 

“How are we supposed to tell what’s going on in there?” Kaidan asked. 

“We can’t. We’ll only know if in a little while, the physical properties of the Star start to change.” 

Violet never really thought about what was on the inside of soul gems, as she didn’t need them before all this . She supposed that since they were clear until filled, that they were like tiny jars that bugs were kept in. So the bright blue, spacious, sparkling, and very precarious inside of a geode was completely disorienting, but at the same time so incredibly beautiful that she sort of understood why Malyn didn’t want to leave. Or maybe that’s just what Azura’s Star looked like. It was peaceful, too. …And there was no pain. She was completely distracted until a loud voice pierced through her thoughts. 

“Finally, a fresh soul. Good. I was starting to worry…” An incredibly old and sickly Dunmer man in black robes strode up, using his soul gem topped staff as a walking stick. His eyes and mouth dripped with blood, even though his body technically wasn’t real. He still tried to see her with blind eyes though, and used the head of the staff to point at her. “Wait… you’re different. Your soul… Who are you?” 

Violet got a good look up into his face. Nelacar said that Azura had driven him insane to curse him for stealing the Star. She could tell by looking at him that there wasn’t anything she could say that would get him to finally end this foolishness, but it couldn’t hurt to try. “Azura sent me, Malyn. I don’t know if you can tell what’s going on out there, but the Star is broken and falling apart. Even if you were to stay here, it would eventually break, and then your plan is done. Please, just… stop trying to hide. I can free you from this and Azura’s wrath.” 

The much older man hissed at her and tried to hit her over the head with the staff for her impertinence. “Azura? Hah! Blasted Daedra is mad I’ve beaten her at her own game and taken her realm for myself! Just what do you think you’re going to do about it?!” 

Violet gave a heavy sigh and changed her skin into iron. She sort of wondered if wearing her enchanted robes would have transferred into the gem, even though here she was putting armor on not really her body. “Malyn, you’ve murdered dozens of innocents and so many more have suffered because you and Azura are in a pissing match. And it’s not even much of a match if you’re stuck in here with nothing to do but wait for someone outside to feed your greed. There isn’t even anything to do in here. By the way, I’ve stolen the Star from your cult. No more souls will be coming in here, and you’re leaving.” 

“You lie!” Malyn shouted and slammed his staff down on the ground. A Dremora appeared from a black ward to cover his escape down the crystal path. 

Hmph! Tiny, weak mortal!” The Daedra chuckled at her and drew his sword. The sword was a lot more intimidating in its full physical form instead of a summon. 

‘Well, now I know how he was able to keep this up for so long!’ She swore heavily and wished her bag of potions had made the trip as well. But they had armor and weapons! She thought she was just wearing her dress because that’s what she looked like before Nelacar fractured her soul. Godsdamnit! None of this made any sense and now was not the time to start her head hurting. Fine. If conjuring was allowed… 

Her two familiars appeared from her own black circles. “Kill the Dremora!” 

The two bird creatures clattered their beaks angrily and jumped into the Daedra’s face, leaving her a few seconds to figure something out. She knew her familiars wouldn’t last long, so she decided to test out all of the horrible new tricks the Augur of Dunlain had just given her. 

Ice lances erupted from each hand and the tips sparked with lightning as they wedged into the Dremora’s throat. This wasn’t nearly enough to stop him, but stunning and slowing him down was absolutely crucial. Fucking Dremora are built like walking fortresses. The last time she had to deal with one, she nearly got her heart torn out. She swiped her hand in a line in front of her and a wall of lances blocked his way to her. Stupid Malyn wasn’t even on her radar; he’d run off to cower somewhere, and even if she did manage to kill him first, the Dremora wouldn’t be banished and would tear her apart before Nelacar could get her out of there. 

Nelacar. “GODSDAMN IT, YOU DIDN’T SAY HE WAS A MASTER SUMMONER AND I COULD BRING THINGS IN HERE! GET ME MY EMPTY BLACK GEM AND — Well, shit.” 

She realized she didn’t really pack much of anything else. Just money, her journals, a few of her medicinal potions and some things she didn’t want to leave alone, because she was only supposed to sit in the library today and maybe buy a few things. The Star was only meant to be dropped off, not all this shit. How did this keep happening?! 

Another crack went down one of the Star’s arms, and Nelacar suddenly looked over to Violet’s body. Her head straightened up woodenly and started swearing at him. It shouldn’t have been able to move without her in there! Kaidan was even more disturbed because he knew that without her in there, that meant one of the other half dozen things invading her body was probably doing it. 

“Why is she still able to move?” Nelacar was starting to get nervous, but kept his voice even. 

You’re the soul warlock, not me!” Kaidan narrowed his eyes at ‘Starfall’. “Losei?” 

The body rolled its eyes, slipped from the bed, and started rooting through her pack. “It’s me. I need a Black gem for this jackass and I should have brought my robes, or waited ‘til tomorrow. Thanks, Nelacar.” 

Kaidan looked over towards him. “Wait a minute, you said you were taking enough of her that there’d only be enough left to keep her body alive.” 

“The damn Eye’s keeping me connected. Sort of. Kind of disorienting. Also, I don’t think he really understands just how much of ‘me’ there is.” Violet mumbled. She drank most of her potions, went over and put her Black gem next to Azura’s, then sat back on the bed. 

“So, you’re telling me you’ve greatly complicated matters.” Nelacar frowned. He picked up her soul gem, passed another entrapment spell on it, and it disappeared from his hand. 

“That’s what I do,” she and Kaidan sighed together. “That’s what she does.” 

Violet’s familiars were trying their best, but they weren’t able to get past the Daedra’s nearly indestructible armor. It was only some consolation that his face was completely shredded. But she was still in a lot better shape than the first attempt. She’d even passed lightning through the spear in its throat, but that only slowed it down and shut it up for a few seconds. 

Then she wondered why she was playing ‘by the rules’ where no one was watching, except maybe Nelacar, who didn’t have any say on the matter or room to judge. She grabbed her spear and took it back to start the Dremora’s blood flowing. Just as she started casting her own spell, he grabbed the two familiars by their throats and crushed them. 

Weak mortal using your pets to stall for time…” he gurgled and spat blood at her. 

“Well, it worked, didn’t it?” Violet said as she latched onto the flowing blood and watched it hiss and bubble. She nearly lost herself in her own pain and placed her other hand full of healing fire over her heart. 

The Dremora lunged for her with the last of his quickly draining strength, but she dodged out of the way and watched as he fell to his knees. She quickly ran behind him and put her lightning spear through the back of his skull. ‘Big, brutish, overconfident, and highly susceptible to magic.’ Pointing at him, Violet made the corpse decompose all at once and the magicka both used to summon it and kill it flowed back into her as healing light. 

“Interesting. Not pleasant, but interesting.” 

Violet looked up from her observations to see another Dremora racing towards her with iron skin and hands full of fire. She knew what a Valkynaz was, but she’d never dealt with one before, so she wasn’t sure how good they were as mages. She was thinking about simply killing Malyn without the soul gem so he might go on to Aetherius. But if he was just going to keep bringing Daedra in here to try and dodge this, he could wait in her other soul gem for someone to turn him into a boot. When she thought about it, she reached into her pocket, and there it was. “Huh. It worked.” 

A fire ward on the ground to push it backward and a wall of ice spears to stall it again. She could see linking and cursing blood being extremely useful, but not something to be used often. A few of the spears bouncing off of the Dremora’s aetheric shield made her groan, and the fireballs bouncing off of hers only made the Daedra angrier. No elemental magic, then. 

Instead, Violet summoned her Daedric bow and enchanted it with fire; the physical arrow would allow the fire to pass through the shield. Several shots lodged all throughout his armor while she carefully backed up to stay out of range. Instead, the crystals around her making up the ceiling and floor started cracking and either falling into the abyss (or wherever; she wasn’t going to look down), or cracking loose from the ‘ceiling’ and nearly coming down on top of her. Violet shrieked curses and ran somewhere safer, realizing too late that she’d shown weakness in front of a damn Daedra and now it was going to be even more difficult. ‘Godsdamn it!’ 

She was trapped now on the initial platform and it was starting to come apart. “Oh fuck, I have to stop it before it breaks and I’m trapped in here shit shit shit shit!” 

“What in Oblivion is she doing in there?!” Nelacar watched as one of the Star’s tips cracked and fell off. “Oh no. I can try and hold it together from out here, but if it continues, I won’t be able to repair a pile of crumbs.” 

“He’s got a bunch of godsdamned Dremora in here!” Violet’s body pulled on her hair. “They’re tearing the place apart and it’s all cliffs in here, damn it!” 

“Damn.” Kaidan covered his mouth. “And you can’t get her out of there until the others are all dead.” 

“Well, I didn’t know about the Daedra!” He ran over to his bookshelf to find something that might cover this completely unprecedented situation. 

“You were his colleague, weren’t you?!” Kaidan asked. 

Malyn shook his head. “That doesn’t mean we just casually throw Daedra around in front of each other! There’s so many facets to each school of magic and I’m surprised you haven’t learned this from her.” 

“Stop it, you blasted demon!” Malyn yelped from far down the path. 

The Valkynaz scoffed at his ‘master’, then did the same thing in the other direction towards him. “Or what, pathetic spirit?! I’ll simply go back to Oblivion. You two are the ones in trouble!” 

Violet focused everything on suppressing the urge to scream, then switched from her bow to a Daedric greataxe. She was terrible at using two-handed weapons in any capacity and she could just barely lift the thing, but since the Dremora was distracted, maybe that wouldn’t matter. She kept her eyes fixed on the back of the Dremora’s head and on silently getting within range, swung the far too heavy weapon back over her head, then brought it back up, over, and down to cleave the Dremora’s head in two. The Daedra finally stopped pulling the place apart and collapsed. 

Violet stood there panting and glaring at Malyn instead of down at the corpse and risking going back into a panic. “Try that again, and they’ll hear you screaming on the outside of this thing.” 

This one strange woman just killed two Dremora and now had her sights on him. His staff was depleted and he didn’t have any souls on hand. It'd been so long between sacrifices that his hunger had depleted his own magicka and strength. He was now at the lowest platform of the crystal and there was nowhere else to go. Malyn’s voice cracked as he shouted. “No! Not like this! Get out of here and leave me alone!” 

“You’re the one who wanted to make this difficult, asshole.” Violet didn’t dare fool with his diseased and corrupted blood and soul. Instead, she stalked down the path towards him with her own Power driving her. “But hey, at least Azura will finally be out of our hair.” 

She brought out her ice spear and cursed it with Soul Trap, then launched it across the platforms and impaled him to one of the fallen crystals. Several more followed so it would give her time to over-carefully navigate the mess that the stupid Valkynaz had created. About halfway towards reaching him, Malyn’s body slumped over, and the soul gem in her pocket briefly flashed. 

“Fuck you, Malyn. I hope it’s extra cramped in there.” 

Nelacar and Kaidan watched as Azura’s Star seemed to clear up just a little and stop pulsing miasma. 

“I… I think she did it!” Nelacar was still afraid to touch it though; it now looked as if a good bump would make it crumble. 

“Yes, he’s dead. Fucker. I need a few minutes to collect myself. It’s kind of a mess in here. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to stay. Even though it’s so nice and quiet… and safe… and painless…” the Violet beside them sighed. 

“I guess today was a lot, then,” Kaidan said. 

“Too much.” She went back into her half-sleeping state. 

Nelacar waited until Starfall had finished whatever business she had inside the Star, then held his hand over the gem and pointed back at her body. 

She twitched, stretched, and groaned; with her movements looking more natural now. “Eugh. Senses. Noise. Pain. Hunger…” 

Kaidan looked over to her. “You alright?” 

Violet patted herself all over, then pulled two frozen, dark red hearts from her smock’s front pocket. “Yes.” 

He instantly recognized them and shuddered. “Did you really need those that badly?” 

She scoffed. “Kai, these damn things are a couple hundred gold a pop and they’re rare as an oasis. I killed them, they’re mine, I’m not wasting ‘em.” 

“Could you not drip them on my bed, then?” Nelacar grimaced. 

“Sorry.” She added another layer of ice and put them in her pack. 

“Well, provided I can get this fixed up, you've done it.” 

Violet pulled the normal Black soul gem from her pocket and set it next to Azura’s Star. “He summoned a bunch of Daedra that nearly destroyed the Star and got me killed. Turn him into a boot and send his ass to the Soul Cairn.” 

“You really moved him from one gem to another?” 

“And he can’t get out of this one.” 

‘I wish it hadn’t ended like this, Malyn. You could have had a better peace ages ago.’ The enchanter bowed his head in a moment of silence, then turned to her. “Anyway, you’ve done your part, Starfall. It shouldn’t take too long to fix. Come back tomorrow. But I also need an item and what enchantment you want on it.” 

“Do you have anything he can enchant right now?” she asked Kaidan. 

“No. My boots are already enchanted, not that I’d hand them over right now anyway, and I used nearly everything you’ve collected recently on my project. I’ll figure something out later. It’s getting late.” 

Violet slid off of Nelacar’s bed, then took a few wobbly steps. “Being taken apart and put back together is very draining. And fighting Daedra. And getting cut up by a giant wisp, attaining demi-divinity, bestowing blessings, and teleporting. I did far too much today. Damn.” 

Kaidan could hear it in her voice. “I’m not carrying you.” Instead, he grabbed their bags. 

“If you were blackout drunk, I’d… uh… probably teleport you,” she mumbled. 

“It’s barely a whole mile, Star. You’ll make it.” He shook his head. 

“Wait, divinity?” Nelacar looked up from his work. 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

Neither of them noticed as they were leaving that Nelacar was waving a spell at them. He realized that he never actually looked at either of their souls; he just instinctively took and moved hers. He cast Detect Life and quickly covered his mouth to keep from drawing their attention back. No. This thing was getting fixed, and then he was done. Nothing in the world would be worth approaching that.

Chapter 15

Summary:

At least it's not rolling the Eye of Magnus up a hill, only to have it roll back down for eternity...

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Violet and Kaidan made it back to the college late in the evening, but instead of his suggestion of going back to Breezehome so she could rest in her own bed and start fresh in the morning, she pulled him back towards their rooms down in the Hall of Attainment. 

“We don’t have anything packed for that. And besides, this is exactly what you were complaining to me about when you bought all that stuff for your bed. It’s only across the street from the portal. Stop being lazy,” Kaidan sighed. 

She was too tired to curse at him and leaned on a post instead. “Well next time, you can get stabbed several times by ghosts, use your own blood as a weapon, have your soul cut out, and clear out the Daedra infested soul gem.” 

“…Never mind.” 

Violet still had their keys, and the rooms were still disheveled. She didn't care. Kaidan tossed their bags in front of the dresser while Starfall went straight for the bed and fell right into it. He rolled his eyes at her, but found himself sitting at her desk and already dozing off. 

Just what would the Archmage have about the Staff of Magnus? Kaidan imagined him nodding sagely, floating the exact book off of one of the shelves, and reading some lengthy explanation about how powerful and dangerous it is. Then he and Starfall would have to completely ignore all of that and go get it, anyway. Star had already fallen asleep; she really wasn't kidding. Meanwhile, that “blessing” she had given him was still poking at the back of his mind. That probably didn't help her. That was… something, even if it was technically a gift from Akatosh. Was that anything compared to what she felt? Whenever she wasn’t complaining about being exhausted, anyway. …Maybe not, then. 

He sat up, stared at the pile of books on her desk, grabbed one, then went back to his own room. 

‘I suppose I should get this done now, before she wakes up or disappears again.’ 

Estormo wove bright, billowing clouds of smoke from his fingers into the magicka well directly above him until they were dense ribbons, then pulled the ribbons back into himself. The college really shouldn’t just hand out a near limitless amount of magicka out for any fool to take from like the refreshment table. To test, he snapped his fingers. It was completely silent. Slamming his fist on the alchemy table didn’t do anything, either. 

It was so late that everyone was asleep, or should have been, anyway. He looked back and forth between Kaidan and Starfall’s doors. Honestly, interrogating the Akaviri wasn’t worth the effort; he only acted as a guard dog, and she rarely listened to whatever came out of his mouth. Maybe she should more often; she could have avoided what was about to happen. Ancano wanted to know more about what her connection to the Eye was. Though he had described this woman as if she was a complete monster. Dense as a brick, crass as some wretch in the slums, and yet, a walking natural disaster, had an ominous connection to the Eye of Magnus, and had the attention of the bloody Psijic Order. The same one that wouldn't cooperate with the Thalmor or even the neutral guilds and orders much less the Dominion, hadn't been seen in decades, and even when they did make themselves known, it was under either dire or extreme circumstances. Considering the Archmage had the artifact behind five different wards, and he himself had received a stern warning the second he walked through the door, he didn’t like the odds of it being a good-natured visit. 

The Akaviri had locked the doors after himself. Some of Estormo’s smoke outlined Starfall’s door; it swung open silently by itself and closed after him. Starfall didn’t stir. She was spread out lazily across her bed face down with her feet hanging over the edge. Both she and the room were a mess. This is what Ancano was afraid of, for Dibella’s sake. Of course, she was asleep. Awake, he’d probably be dead already. 

His eyebrow raised slightly, but he was more interested in what brought her back to the library, in front of the Augur, and then a closed-door meeting at the Frozen Hearth. He’d been told that Nelacar (and everyone working with him) had been expelled from the college, but he couldn’t be bothered to find someplace else to work when everyone else had long since moved on. One of them must have needed something illicit done. 

He took a quick riffle through their packs; Kaidan had a few outdated notes on the last interactions with the Blades around the end of the last era and was working forward to now. Useless, but he was getting too curious. 

Starfall’s notes were far more disturbing. She had entire books stuffed with papers he flipped through. Research on Alduin and Akatosh. Expected and maybe even useful, but not the point of tonight’s visit. Several pages of her trying to understand her meeting with the Augur of Dunlain, just as he had forewarned them. He had declared her a Restoration Master and was warping restorative light into blood and necromantic magic. Hopefully that’s not what the Psijic Order wanted to talk to her about, either. 

She had tried to explain the basic theories of the Eye of Magnus in somewhat simplistic terms, then ramped up to inscrutable metaphysics and mathematical notation. A diagram of the Eye, absolutely encased in near invisible strokes of spider webs. Every one of the dozens of lines was deliberate, as if she’d used the previous math to draw the angles, and they almost leapt off the page. Some of the Eye’s runes were underlined and referenced the math. The Eye’s seams were drawn so dark and thick, he swore he saw something move in them when he tried to turn the page. 

This made him hesitate for a second before he realized that she’d shaken him without even confronting her, yet. He looked back at her and she was still a small, frumpy, fat, Redguard woman with something seriously off in her head. 

‘Hmph. Let’s see where this goes, then.’ 

The Illusion master found himself pacing. So… uncoiling didn’t hurt, necessarily. Much. Initially. Especially if the subject was already unconscious and couldn’t resist. Waking up wouldn’t be fun for either one of them. And the Akaviri would be suspicious when she’d spend the entire day with her head even more scrambled. But it seemed she and Ancano could see something no one else could. Estormo didn’t want to be more involved in that than need be, considering Ancano was starting to unravel at the edges. And honestly, he didn’t want to wind up with his own head scrambled if there really was something wrong in there. 

The vast majority of mortals were fine and easy. The newly dead were just at the edge of useful coherence. Daedra weren’t fun. At all . He’d even looked in between a couple of subhuman creatures’ ears; hagravens were still mortal women, just somehow even more irritating and hateful. He brought a chair beside her bed, made himself comfortable, and watched her for a minute. Starfall was definitely still human and female, though she seemed to not care much about her femininity. Right now, she was breathing heavily and making little growls into her pillow. Well, at least he wouldn’t have to force it.  

The divining spell in his hand turned a sickly dark green and coiled around itself until it was a ball of tight knots. He grabbed the top of her head with it, which made her go limp all at once and fall into an even deeper sleep. 

Mortals usually replicated their last waking surroundings, though there were several things just off center, hazy, broken, or the wrong color. Things like that. The dead existed in blurry black and white paintings of their death. Daedra were rigid products of their home realms of Oblivion, and nearly all of them were terrible places. 

This was no place. Or maybe some kind of desert; she was a native Redguard, after all. But sand was either white, beige, or black. Not ash grey and definitely not perfectly flat and uniform. Estormo knelt down and scooped some up in his hands. It was ash. Miles and miles of perfectly flat, powder fine ash in every direction with nothing else. At least there was still a sun and sky. Except the sky was black at midday, and there were no stars other than the sun itself. Never mind. 

“What in Oblivion is this?” he whispered into the nothingness. 

“Eye of Magnus being a sack of shit. Literally,” a woman’s voice groaned. She sounded exhausted, whiny, raspy, and pathetic. 

He already felt it coming; this was going to be an ordeal. Her eastern Hammerfell accent was so thick, he could barely understand her. 

Mu drey prodah hi.” (1) A deep, booming voice said high above them. 

Estormo’s gaze drifted upward. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone else here, as uncoiling, dream illusions, and other methods of interrogation took place only in the interrogator and subject’s minds. He looked up just in time to see an impossibly large dragon blocking out the sun and about to drop directly on top of him. Instead of getting a stream of flames like in the various reports he’d read, it flapped its wings once and a crushing weight smashed him to the ground senseless. It left him struggling and coughing for breath in a cloud of ash. 

“Why’d you do that? Was going to see whether he was going to help dig or try some stupid,” Violet pursed her lips and didn’t turn away from her task. 

Rok los ni het aak hi.” (2) 

“I know that, asshole.” 

Vulonmah,” the dragon growled. 

“Whaaaat,” she whined. 

Neh hadrim,” (3) they muttered. The dragon finally came down and landed where the fahliil had intruded on them. “Rok fod oblaan.” (4) 

“I think now he’s regretting this immensely and hopefully understands he’s not in charge here. Especially considering there’s nothing left to be in charge of.” 

It took a good while for Estormo’s head to stop ringing enough he could get back to his feet and figure out what had just happened, and whether or not he should abort the mission. He wasn’t sure how to deal with dragons. He hadn’t even seen a live one before and the dead one on the upper walkway of the college looked nothing like this one. This was a shadow, so many times larger, and it had seven heads. There was almost nothing useful in the Arcanaeum concerning the dragons other than the Dragon war, and a lot of vague nonsense written by the Akaviri. Was it a figment of her dream, or was it here because it actually was a part of her? A Dragonborn is supposedly a mortal with the soul of a dragon, and this horrible thing was more shadowy abstraction than flesh. But people usually (and hopefully) do not or cannot dissociate themselves from their own souls. 

Estormo finally got his air back and the dust out of his eyes enough to see how much trouble he was in. He slowly and clumsily pushed himself upright; the ash gave way wherever he tried to push against it. Once he was on his feet though, the ash had settled again to be perfectly flat. 

Starfall looked up at him for only a second, then rolled her eyes and got back to work. She was on her knees and digging like a damned dog underneath what looked like the artifact that was in the Hall of Elements. This Eye of Magnus wasn’t floating anymore, but inert, lying in a small indent she’d dug, and looking like it was about to roll over and crush her. There wasn’t any light coming from it, either. 

“What happened here?” Estormo asked. 

“Start digging, and I’ll tell you,” she muttered. 

No, that’s not how this worked. He wasn’t here to play in the dirt. He held up his hand and realized very quickly that something had gone very, very wrong. There wasn’t even any magic. His own power was gone. The senselessness that blocked everything out before gave way to stifling emptiness all around and through him. Having the back of his head nearly caved in was somehow more preferable than this. He was trapped here with her in her own head. 

“Not gonna suffer you staring at my ass while I dig for the rest of Eternity if you’re not going to help. I’ll simply take my frustrations out on you, then hand you off to them.” Violet finally stopped digging and sat up. 

The dragon looming over him leaned over and growled, making everything rumble. 

Estormo knew he wasn’t in any real danger, and yet… He supposed he’d just have to wait until she woke up, somehow. Which was the absolute worst possible outcome; when she woke up, he’d have a very small window in which to make himself scarce. But whatever the Eye had done to the two of them felt real enough. They were both now blocked from Aetherius for the time being and under the artifact’s influence. He finally relented and fell to his knees on the other side of the Eye. A little head start for if she decided that she wanted to ‘take her frustrations out on him’. Not that he thought he’d be able to outrun the dragon. 

“You the one that dumb fuck Ancano called?” She kept her eyes on the Eye of Magnus looming over her. 

Estormo bristled. “Watch your tongue. And obviously he was right to! What have you done?!” 

“Of all the people that fucking survived this.” She rubbed her face, smearing the ash. “I killed a dragon and a lich. That’s it. All this? This was Ancano. And probably you if you keep helping him fuck around with forces he isn’t equipped to deal with. Everyone keeps telling me I need fix this. How? How’m I supposed to fix something like this?! Why’s this suddenly my responsibility?! Why would anyone think that I want this?! Wanna be back home, sitting on my balcony, with a glass aloe and a book!” By the end, she was shrieking until she flopped over on her back. 

And now she’s hysterical. “Then why do you simply not return to the college?” 

She sighed heavily and tightened her words up again. “Because I am a scholar and have important research. That is none of your fucking business, I might add. And now, I can’t get anything done because everyone keeps whining at me to fix their messes. Makes me wonder why I’m bothering when no one’s left to get on my case about it.” 

“You said that the Eye is showing you this.” Estormo paused. “Do you know what this is?” 

“This is the secret of Saarthal. This is what it does. No one needs this. You pointy-eared, warmongering fucks definitely don’t need it. Magnus obviously didn’t need it either, since he dumped it here and fucked off somewhere.” Violet raked her ash-coated hands down her face. “At any rate, I’ve been here for—” 

The giant silver and blue orb flashed some of its runes in a random sequence, then died again. 

“—shut up, you— eternity trying to bury it in Saarthal again. At least I think we’re where Saarthal used to be. Can’t do anything else until that’s finished. So, get digging.” 

Starfall did not see Estormo go as completely grey as the ash. In truth, they’d been in this ‘dream’ for twelve minutes. Estormo tried moving a few scoops around with his hands and had the same result as Starfall; trying to move anything just made the ash fill itself in and flatten out again. 

“The only other alternative is for me to try and get it working again. But I’m not a Dwemer or even a tinkerer, I don’t know anything about it, and I didn’t have time to find anything else before Ancano set all this in motion. But instead of stopping him or slowing him down or flat out fucking killing him, let’s all stare at the Redguard woman trying to mind her own damn business!” Violet pounded a fist against the dead Eye. 

“Do you have any idea of the trouble you’ve caused ‘just minding your own business’? The sheer amount of devastation you’ve left in your wake?!” 

“Yes, actually! My friend is dead and home’s gone, everyone’s afraid of me, and because the dragons are too difficult for you stupid mortals, you’re all picking on me, instead. Never mind trying to deal with that by myself is just as much if not more fucking bullshit.” Violet pointed at the dragon watching them. 

Nidbo tinvaak fahliil,” (5) the dragon growled back. 

“More interesting than talking to you. And what difference does it make? He can’t fucking do anything, because there’s nothing to do!” 

Hi praal arkh saan tiid. Hi nis mindoraan arkh koraav tiid ol dovah dreh.” (6) 

Estormo saw Starfall lean down around the Eye of Magnus to glare at him, and knew in that moment he’d been tattled on. Which was intriguing since they were communicating in two different languages, but more importantly, meant that he’d have to figure out how to either get this back in his favor or figure a way out, and quickly. 

Hin hadrim los krif faal Miin. Fuul, faal Miin los ni dilon?” (7) 

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?!” 

Nahkriin,” (8) they said. 

“Oh, fuck you. Someone’s gonna end up as a piece of jewelry for that.” 

‘Think I’ve found one of several problems, here…’ Estormo had forgotten that he was in danger and watched them bicker, not that he had any idea what the other half of the argument was. 

“Gods damn it. Let’s try this. You. Thalmor. You see all this? This is not my dream. Technically. This is what’s being shown to me… us… by the Eye of Magnus. I have several people nagging me to stop this as if I know how all this horseshit works and can just cast a spell to turn it off. I do not. Just because I have that one up there following me, everyone thinks I know or can do more than I’m able. Evidently, we’re not all dead yet even though here we are… alone in an endless desert of ash. Stupid time paradoxes. Stupid fucking immortal omnipresent concepts too abstract for mortal singular point cognition.” Violet leaned on her back and kicked up at the orb. It didn’t budge. 

“The only thing I’ve been told is that it’s already too late. So, this happens… I think. But I continuously get told a lot of stupid, annoying shit that may or may not be wrong, later. Ancano will not listen to me. Maybe he will listen to you. Tell him to stay the fuck away from this godsforsaken thing, do his damn pretend job, and ‘advise’ that Savos put it back in Saarthal. You can either do that, or I can just have a small bit of comfort later in hearing your agonized screams when all of existence ends.” 

Estormo took another look around at the desolation. He’d never seen anyone else he’d interrogated create such an endless, empty place, and as odd as she was, it didn’t sound like it was possible for her to, either. She wasn’t lying. While he pondered her words, the dragon perched on top of the Eye and watched them. 

“What is wrong with this dragon?” Estormo asked. 

“Everything,” Violet grumbled. 

Hi ni vahzah dov. Hi ni Borhamu faal funt.” (9) 

“Oh, is that why he sent me to kill all of you?” Violet continued digging despite knowing now that she didn’t have to, at least for the time being. 

‘Well, that didn’t work.’ Estormo rubbed his forehead. Try again. “Why does that dragon look different than the ones you’ve left around the college?” 

She simply said, “No.” The dragon loomed over him as if it wanted him to argue with her. 

Never mind. “You and Ancano have seen inside the artifact. He keeps telling me that it is the ‘link to the Divines’. The others at the college refuse to speculate. Since you’re a native Redguard, you probably do not follow those truths. What did you see, then?” 

“I know full well that the Divines exist; I’m a fucking blood incarnation of Akatosh/Ruptga/Tall Papa/Alkosh/Auriel whoever the fuck at any given second. I just don’t care. But Ancano can’t comprehend what the Eye really is, I guarantee it. And I didn’t see anything, because the damn thing almost killed me soon as I walked in the door.” 

Estormo sighed deeply. The Augur mentioned that this artifact would be her burden, but also said that she was trying to control it herself. That was not what this was. None of this was going to be of any use to either him or Ancano. 

“If I cannot dissuade Ancano, then what do you plan to do?” 

“Dunno.” Violet closed her eyes. “And even if I did, that's not for you to know. Just that I'm trying to figure out what leads to and prevents all of this. …I really am.” 

He put his hand to the Eye of Magnus; the real one was already warded when he’d arrived, so his only observation of it was that it was big and ominous. The surface was hot from baking in the sun, it was far too heavy to move when he pushed on it (Or maybe that was the dragon perched on it? But the dragon wasn’t solid…), and he had absolutely no physical or arcane reaction from coming in contact with it. It was too dense to hit barehanded to see if there was anything inside. 

The dragon watching over them finally became bored, rumbled something, and took off again. Estormo waited until it was far enough away and kept his voice even and low. He wasn’t sure how good a dragon’s hearing would be. “I have heard your concern, but I make no promises on whether or not I can dissuade Ancano from whatever he’s planning. I will consider this in my investigation. This would be the part where you wake up with no recollection of this, if all this weren’t a complete… enigma.” 

“Ancano’s dragged you into this, so it’s just going to get more and more frustrating. Good luck figuring this disaster out. Like I said, I don’t know how any of this works. Maybe talk to Faazdiilaat (10) up there, since they seem to be somewhat more aware of what’s happening. And if you double-cross me…?” she gestured upward and chuckled at her own joke. 

The dragon’s hearing was very good, evidently. It was not interested in talking, though. It poised over him, and while he was staring back at it and wondering if it was going to attack him again, he missed the shadow on the ground. It grew and warped until a giant eye opened up underneath him and dragged him down into the crushing darkness of its pupil. 

Even though Estormo was thankful to the Eight that his Muffle spell was still in effect, the horrible scream that he was expecting from his own mouth didn’t come and left him even more unsettled and a little bit unfulfilled. He fell out of the chair by her bed and scrambled backwards away from her. She was still fast asleep. Alright, so Ancano was right about her being a monster, but not in the way that he was expecting. 

He hated uncoiling. Should’ve told the paranoid bastard no and to do it himself. Ancano owed him for this. And he’d need to find a way to get both Ancano and the Eye away from the college, soon. She was telling the truth. There was no reason for her to lie about wanting to keep something that horrible for herself. Not even touching the possibility of how dangerous it could be with someone who wasn’t meant to wield it. As he got to his feet, leaning forward left several drops of blood on the floor. 

He pinched his nose shut. ‘Damn it!’ 

A bit of fire burned it up and he slipped out of her room. He’d invaded the minds of less awful Daedra (hell, some were deviously pleasant) compared to her. Checking the alchemy supply closet outside of her door thankfully resulted in a small healing potion and something to clear his head. Hiding somewhere dark and quiet to sleep it off would help as well… if he could. 

Notes:

(1) We did warn you.

(2) He is not here (to) help you.

(3) Never mind.

(4) He should die.

(5) Stop talking (to the) elf.

(6) You sleep and are lost between ages. You can’t understand or perceive time like dragons do.

(7) Your mind fights with the Eye. So, the Eye is not dead, then?

(8) Revenge.

(9) You (are) not (a) true dragon. You (are) Akatosh’s failure.

(10) “Pain-(in)My-Ass.”

Chapter 16

Summary:

Kaidan, you were supposed to give her that 69 (NICE) chapters ago.

Chapter Text

Violet actually slept through most of the following day, leaving Kaidan somewhat worried, but fine with filling that time in the library. They finally met up again just before the sun started to set, and she brought him along in finding the Master-Wizard and Archmage. Of course, Ancano had to try inserting himself in their business. 

“This is none of your business. I’m not telling the Archmage anything that would require your input. I’m asking a simple question,” Violet hissed. The Power watched him closely and it was like trying to hold back an angry sabrecat. 

“Asking a ‘simple’ question does not require both the Archmage and the Master-Wizard. And a simple question would be harmless to ask aloud,” he countered. 

“We were going to ask where’s the best place to hide a body in the Midden now that the haunted spots are gone,” Kaidan grinned. “Unless  you  have a preferred spot.” 

“The Conjuring Pit. It’s around the corner from the atronach forge and down a small set of stairs.” Mirabelle said simply as she passed. She went first up the stairs to the Archmage’s Study. “We reuse donated  bodies, here.” 

Ancano glared daggers at her back. 

On one hand, Kaidan was kidding. But… “Do I want to know—” 

“No, you don’t.” Violet pushed him along, then slammed the door in Ancano’s face once she was inside the stairwell. “Can you ward this quickly, please, Mirabelle?” 

She nodded and waved her hand at the door, making a yellow circle of runes appear on it. “We’d actually been meaning to have a meeting with you two for a short while, now, but the ‘event’ with Old Winterhold got in the way.” 

Savos was already waiting for them and pacing around instead of sitting behind his desk as usual. Everyone else decided to stay standing, as well. 

“You two are looking much better. But I have a feeling this meeting you’ve called is another signal that something’s gone horribly wrong.” Savos ran his hand along his cheek. 

“Not yet, Archmage.” Violet shook her head. “It’s more that I was told to come see you yesterday as… a lot of things have happened. Some concerning the Eye, some not.” 

“Well, in the time that you’ve been gone, the only thing that has happened here is that Ancano, and his Thalmor associate Estormo, have been plotting. What, I’m not sure. I’m honestly too busy to check.” Mirabelle said. “But they haven’t caused any overt trouble.” 

Violet growled under her breath, then rubbed a strange pain out of the top of her head. She wasn’t sure why. 

“I do have something for the both of you before you undoubtedly disappear again.” Savos went over to his desk and picked up two pieces of jewelry; both were polished bright, though still showed signs of long wear. “There’s also a third thing, but I doubt it will be of any use to you. If you don’t want it, I’ll simply store it somewhere safe.” 

Both Violet and Kaidan were confused, but took the silver tiara set with moonstones and pearl ring gratefully. 

“That circlet has served me well over the years, and hopefully this will do the same for you. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been trying to fight that lich when the only source of magicka you had was your own blood,” Savos said. 

Violet turned it over in her fingers to feel out the magic coming from it, then nodded in surprise and immediately put it on. Without even taking a potion, she cast Ebonyflesh over herself and dispelled it. “Thank you, Archmage.” 

“And I think this should work towards keeping you on your feet for a bit longer, so Master Starfall doesn’t have to ‘worry’ about you.” He cleared his throat and pointed to the gold and pearl ring. 

The bright white pearl glittered strangely when Kaidan studied it from different angles, but he couldn’t place any sort of intuition or energy when he put it on. “Thank you? But… how does it work?” 

“This powerful enchantment is what was giving her so much trouble. Once you’re close to death, the ring will simply regenerate you near to full health again. So technically, the lich forced you to kill him twice. Don’t worry, I checked and the ring and enchantment aren’t of necromantic origin,” Savos explained. 

“You’re kidding me!” Violet shouted and raked her hands down her face. “Damn undead fu— um. Never mind.” 

“Huh! If you’re sure it won’t turn me into a lich or something.” It had to fit almost too tightly on Kaidan’s little finger for the time being, since it was made for a much smaller, thinner (withered) hand. 

“And then there’s this.” The archmage clenched his fist and Beinaarkh’s abominable staff fell into his hand. Evidently the gore didn’t come off, because there were still bits of flesh and blood stuck to the bones. The focus on top was a hand that still twitched and flexed its fingers. Everyone besides Savos was deeply disturbed by it and took a step back. “I thought as much. I’ll put it in the vault after we’re done here. Now, thank you both for doing so much to preserve the college, when you only came here as guests and didn’t have to do anything to help us.  We  should have been protecting you.” 

Violet shrugged it off, though if nothing else, it’d be amusing to take the staff just to watch a portal open up in the floor and Ancano get mangled by a bunch of creepy, undead hands. “We came to meet you because I still have more work to do here. It was too much to hope that if I tried to stay away from the Eye or do any work on it, I wouldn’t have to involve myself with it any further. So much for that.” 

“Hmm. I’m not going to pry, but I’m guessing the incredibly short visit by the Psijic Order has something to do with this? He didn’t even stay for polite conversation. I hope Ancano’s confrontational behavior wasn’t the culprit,” Savos sighed. 

Violet rolled her eyes. “Trust me, strangely enough, it wasn’t his fault. Anyway, even with the wards you’ve put up, the Eye’s still causing a lot of… trouble. He said the only one not affected by whatever it’s doing is the Augur of Dunlain, and to go see him.” 

“The Psijic Order knows about the Augur?” Mirabelle frowned. 

“And they specifically told you to go see him?” Savos asked. 

Violet was still sort of tired, and hearing their tone at her knowing he existed and had gone to see him quickly put her on edge. “Yes. But then the Augur gave me a lead and directed me back to you. I was hoping it isn’t too late to convince you to return the Eye of Magnus to Saarthal, but if… uhm… if we’re going to survive whatever comes next, he said I need to find the Staff of Magnus.” 

Savos froze solid for a few seconds and stared off into space. Violet wondered if she should try and bring him back, and Kaidan immediately recognized what was going on in the Archmage’s head, but said nothing. 

The Archmage blinked and returned on his own before anyone could take action, then slowly looked at Starfall with wide, dead eyes and shaking voice… “Please take care of this, Mirabelle. I think I recall someone came asking you about the staff, a while back.” And without a word of explanation, he disappeared up the stairwell opposite of the one everyone else had come in. 

‘Great. He knows something that’s undoubtedly horrible. He couldn’t have said anything earlier, and now he’s just going to let us walk right into it,’ Violet thought. 

The Master-Wizard sighed deeply. “Please excuse him. I don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into, Master Violet, but I believe extreme caution is needed from here on out. You’ll definitely need the tools you’ve just been given. As for the Staff of Magnus, I don’t know where it could be, exactly. Though the Archmage is correct; someone else came through a few months ago asking about it.” She went over to one of Savos’s bookshelves and pulled a logbook down to flip through. 

“Wait, you all already knew about the components to that damn thing downstairs and didn’t say anything?” Violet tried not to turn loud, mostly because that headache was creeping up the more she stayed in this conversation. 

“Knew, not exactly. Remembered, no. …Ah, here we are. The Synod—” 

“Oh, gods damn it,” Violet whined. 

“I see you’re familiar with them, too,” Kaidan muttered. 

She turned on him. “How do you know the Synod?!” 

He leaned in close and whispered in her ear. “Not here.” 

Violet’s eyebrow went up, but she realized where he could have had to deal with the magical arm of the Imperial government, and a low, tired groan escaped. 

Mirabelle bit back a grin. “I know the sentiment. They showed up looking for it like we were just keeping it in a closet somewhere. They said they’d tracked it to Skyrim and assumed that the college, being the only magical institution here, knew where it was. When I said we didn’t know, they started inquiring about the Dwemer ruin of Mzulft, south of Windhelm. That’s all I can remember. So, your best bet is there.” 

Now it was Kaidan’s turn. “Oh no.” 

Starfall frowned up at him. “You’ve been to Mzulft?” 

“Not there, specifically. But I’ve been in enough Dwemer ruins to know that I don’t like them. The machines are incredible. The machines popping out of the walls, floors, and ceilings trying to kill me are not. And then there’s the bloodthirsty  Falmer .” 

“…Not that faceless …thing outside of Whiterun.” Violet was starting to rethink the whole thing. 

“Aye, and the giant chaurus. And the Dwemer built their cities underground. So get ready for several more days trapped in a city-sized cave with no sunlight or fresh air.” And now Kaidan didn’t want to go, either. 

Violet turned to Mirabelle. “I don’t suppose you know what this staff does that I absolutely need to go get it? The Augur never bothered to tell me, other than ‘it will keep me from being blinded by the Eye’.” 

Mirabelle hummed in thought, then went back to one of the bookshelves and pulled another tome down. “Well, it's said to have the capacity to store an incredible amount of magical power; made and used by Magnus himself, if you believe those sorts of things. Though I suppose if you can be Dragonborn, Magnus can leave relics just lying around. I’ve heard it said that it’s the only thing that could adequately contain his power. But it’s more speculation than anything at this point. I’ve no doubt that it actually exists, but no one has seen it in what, centuries? Longer?” 

“A staff, made by the god of magic. It supposedly functions as a magicka focus and container of his power. But also used as either a shield or a controller for the Eye of Magnus, which is a complete mystery as to what it does, save for it constantly telling me it will turn all of existence into fine ash. I hate all of this so much. It wasn’t enough to be Dragonborn. No. Have to handle both Akatosh’s and Magnus’s (and Azura’s) fuck-ups, now.” Violet lightly banged her head against Kaidan’s chestplate until he stopped her. 

“Wait, you can communicate with it? And it showed you its purpose?” Mirabelle excused Violet’s swearing as that wasn’t even remotely important, here. And to be honest, it was becoming more and more warranted. 

“Communication implies that I can talk back. No, it’s just latched onto me like a giant, magical, all-powerful cactus burr and fills my head with unending nightmares. Because no one would listen when I said put it back. No one ever listens. And now it’s too late,” she growled into her hands. 

Kaidan patted her shoulder. “Let’s just gather everything together tonight and be much better prepared for tomorrow. Get you some new robes. Pick up a soul gem or two. Lots of food and potions. I’ll teach you the recipe for frying up a chaurus egg. Kinda tastes like a kwama egg, but slightly less bitter and chewy.” 

Both Mirabelle and Starfall made disgusted faces at him, which made him scoff. “Salmon roe right out of the fish while it’s still squirming.” 

“Fish aren’t bugs!” Violet shouted. 

“Your potions are. In fact, they’re made of both fish and bugs.” 

“Shut up. Poor little cute, fluffy rabbits who were minding their own business.” 

Mirabelle shook her head. “If your inquiries are done, I have to get back to work, and check to see if Savos is alright.” 

As they walked back to the Hall of Countenance (Ancano had given up and slithered off earlier, and they didn’t care where), Sergius passed them as he was headed to the Arcanaeum. 

“Ah. Kaidan.” He glanced over at Violet. “Whenever you’ve got a moment.” 

“You’re done?” Kaidan asked. 

“Yes, actually. You can pick it up now, if you like, since we’re close by.” 

Violet looked back and forth between them. “This the thing you took all my good soul gems for?” 

“Yes,” Kaidan said. 

She leered at him. “And probably all our money. I know enchanting isn’t cheap.” 

He winced. “It’s worth it. Trust me. Besides, where we’re going, the stuff we’ll find will pay it back double and then some.” 

“If you say so.” 

“Folks around here usually just buy amulets of Mara, though I guess you’re both Outlanders, so…” Sergius smirked. 

Kaidan tilted his head and glared into the old man’s back. 

“Mara?” Violet frowned. “What did you do?” 

“Absolutely nothing. Someone is talking himself out of a tip,” he said through grit teeth. 

“That’s why I included it into the base price.” Sergius laughed, pulled a little crate from one of his locked shelves, and set it on the counter. “There you go.” 

Kaidan picked up the crate, then turned to Starfall. “Thank you. Oi, Star. Weren’t you going to buy new clothes while we’re here?” 

She tried to peek inside the crate. “I want to know what’s in there, now.”  

He turned it away from her and easily held it well out of her reach. “It can go with your new robes.” 

Now it was her turn to be suspicious. “You made something for me to go with clothes you haven’t even seen, yet?” 

“Uh… sort of? Just go get the robes,” Kaidan said. 

“Hmph. Storage room’s downstairs.” And she led him down into the big alcove full of crates. “Thing is, I don’t know which robes to get. Restoration robes are so difficult to take care of. But I’m not trying to lean so heavily into Destruction. If I did black, someone might mistake me for a necromancer or a cultist.” 

“We’re going to be here a while, aren’t we?” He shook his head. 

“I should draw it out, just for that.” She didn’t though, and went with not learning her lesson the first three times by choosing the white and gold tunic of a Restoration master. And just for Kaidan’s peace of mind, reinforced gloves and boots that made too much noise when she walked. 

“I’m also surprised that mages don’t have a fancy spell for keeping things clean for what horrible messes you lot make of everything,” he scoffed. 

“I’m sure someone knows, but it wasn’t an important part of my lessons.” 

“Which is odd, considering it’s also your job as a healer to get a bit bloody now and again.” 

“Apron,” she said. “It’s simpler, and in case it still hasn’t gotten through, I don’t have infinite magicka to just throw around, as much as I wish I did. I mean, I actually rarely used the good magic at work unless it was an emergency. People are perfectly fine with alchemy, mostly because it’s a physical thing they can watch me make, the solution — hm — comes in nice little refillable bottles, and they ‘know’ that the horrible taste means it's working.” 

“True. That antidote the other day was one of the worst things I've ever had to keep down.” He sat on one of the crates and watched her pull out all sorts of things that didn’t fit in their boxes and cabinets. 

“You need anything?” 

“Might need that rope you were talking about. If for nothing else, so I can yank you back when you inevitably step in a trap and the giant whirling blades come out of the floor.” 

Violet thought about kicking him with her new boots for that, until she thought about it for three seconds and knew he was right. “Hmph.” 

“In all seriousness, I need antidotes. And for them to not taste terrible, because I’ll probably need several of them. The Falmer. They’re like you; they hear everything, but for them, it’s because they’re blind. They live in complete darkness, so we’re probably going to get ambushed at least once. And they use nasty jagged weapons laced with chaurus poison, which might not kill you, but I’m not going to be able to shrug it off.” 

“I remember.” She rubbed the scar on the side of her belly. “I’ll make a few extra, tonight. And I’ll try to figure out the taste. No promises, though. Trying to mask the taste of bittergreens might throw the potency off.” To say nothing of the imp gall, but him knowing about the daedra entrails would probably make him consider waiting out the poison, instead. 

“Just make it easier to keep down so it can actually do its job.” 

With full packs for leaving first thing in the morning, Kaidan took her back to her room and finally showed Starfall her present. He smiled as her eyes went wide with wonder at the black, hand-carved, hunting horn gilded with ancient silver and gold. 

“It's beautiful, Kai!” She ran her fingers over all the little engraved drawings and designs. Nordic swirls and a dragon’s head shouted a shining diamond and Draconic runes of her name around the rim. Even the heavy chain was made of thick links of polished silver. 

“Made it m’self from one of the dragons we’ve left lying around. A hunter needs a hunting horn, after all.” 

“And how long have you been working on this? We’ve hardly had time for anything between utter disasters,” she grumbled. “Plus, I thought it was difficult for you to do little details because of your hands.” 

He held his hands out and flexed them; they moved slowly but smoothly, save for that little finger on his right hand. “So… I’m going to admit now that I actually do tend to get a lot done while you’re asleep or studying. Had a bit of help from Eorlund Grey-Mane back in Whiterun when we were waiting for you to get better. Also, I’ve been ‘borrowing’ that miracle stuff you used on my hands in Windhelm.” 

Violet thought for a moment, then dug the little jar of salve out from the bottom of her pack and saw it was near empty. She shook her head and handed it to him. “Just keep it.” 

He was still grinning as he said, “Sorry. Besides, didn’t want to make you suspicious and ruin the surprise.” 

“And yet, you didn’t think my salve mysteriously disappearing would. I’m curious to see what enchantment it has so that I can actually use it without my eardrums bursting.” She was still too mesmerized by all the little details Kaidan put on it to check, though. 

“But you didn’t notice ‘til I said something, so I was right. I think Sergius said it’s a Muffle spell. And it’s so that if we’re ever separated, you can call for me. I’ll be able to hear it and come right to you. Maybe keep Saarthal from happening again,” he muttered. 

“And vice-versa?” 

He pulled her hunting horn’s counterpart from the box, though his was a much simpler design, and made of steel and emerald. “Aye.” 

“Can’t bear to be away from me? Or do you not want to miss it when I tear into a dragon?” She huffed and attached the enchanted horn to her belt. “Joined at the damn hip, now.” 

“More like it’s a compromise between staying with you all the time and leaving you alone so any-bloody-thing can take over your head and talk you into doing something stupid. You don’t have to call me if you’re sure you can handle things, but between you and Tolfdir bringing that Eye back, which is now out of everyone’s control, and me and Lydia nearly getting taken out by the Thalmor, I think we’re going to need to be a little smarter about getting all this stuff done separately.” 

“Okay, but it probably would’ve been a bit hard for you to blow a horn with a punctured lung. Oh, and I still have to go see Nelacar and … her.” She sneered at the thought of going back to that giant, creepy statue. 

“There might still be time after this if you use your portal trick. Finally be done with all of them. Then we can go straight to Windhelm in the morning. Don’t suppose you know how to get your horse into the portal room? Poor thing is probably bored to death in the stable.” 

“I’ll just copy the spells in the portal room out here and then walk Tiku into it. Should work…” Violet coughed. 

“Should.” Kaidan didn’t like that. 

“It will be fine, sen lu’he.” She patted his arm. “If I can get us from Windhelm to Markarth blackout drunk, I can take us much closer while sober.” 

“Ah, but when you’re sober, you overthink things.” 

“Should I be overthinking this lovely gift?” She raised her eyebrow. 

He rolled his eyes and said, “No.” 

Just to spare Kaidan the grief (and hopefully keep Azura from using him against her again), Violet had him stay behind at the Frozen Hearth. Nelacar was actually asleep when they found him in his room, even though it wasn’t even that late in the evening. She gently shook him until he raised his head from being nestled in his arms on the desk. “Sorry to wake you. Were you able to fix it?” 

He pulled his hood over his head. “Under the counter,” he mumbled. “Worked all night and day on it, but it’s done.” 

She slipped behind it and moved more books, papers, and a quite nice staff around until she felt something unsettling travel up her arm. The cold crystal lightly pulled at her when she brought it out and set it on the counter. It was miraculously whole again. There weren’t even any visible cracks in the crystal or dents in the braces. The miasma was gone, but the darkness stayed; a deep black with a purple sheen when the candlelight hit it just right. 

“I guess that’s close enough. It’s in one piece again, at least. You couldn’t make it a white gem again?” 

Nelacar shook his head. “Malyn damaged it too much.” 

“Of course. Whatever. She can change it back if she wants.” 

Nelacar suddenly sat bolt upright. “You’re returning it to Azura?!” 

“Well, I don’t want it.” 

Don’t,” he said while glaring at her. 

Violet blinked. “What. Did. You. Do.” 

“I fixed it. Like you wanted me to. It’s whole again. But now that it’s a black gem, she’s no longer going to be able to… do whatever she meant to do with it. It’s cut off from her and her plane.” 

Violet gently set the soul gem back on the counter and covered her face with her hands. Even without touching it, it frosted over. “What the  fuck, Nelacar!” 

“Bah, she deserves it. The Princes are scheming monsters—” 

The Dragonborn was suddenly across the room and in his face. “If she fucks me over, I’m coming back here and sharing my misery with you.” 

“Starfall? What’s —” Kaidan (and half the tavern) heard her swearing and came from the hearth to find her pinning the much taller man down in his chair with thick frost climbing the walls. He carefully came up beside her. “Let him go.” 

She made an unsettling high-pitched growl and slowly breathed her way back to only deeply upset. “SHIT. He and Malyn fucked it up and now Azura can’t take it back.” 

Kaidan withheld his ‘I told you so,’ and took a look at the giant soul gem. “And there’s nothing she can do to fix this?” 

The soul enchanter shook his head. “That is the fixed state. But if you mean reattuning it back to Azura, then no. Maybe if you completely destroy it so it’s forced out of this plane and back to Oblivion, but that probably wouldn’t be good enough for her, either.” 

“That sounds like an even worse idea,” Violet whined and started pacing around the room. “Kaidan, make sure he doesn’t run off. I’ll be back in an hour or so. Hopefully. And I’ll get you something else, but I’ve decided on what I want from Nelacar after all this is done.” 

Nelacar was nearly in panic. “You’re taking it to her, anyway?!” If Azura decided to make him share Malyn’s fate for his part in all this… 

“Do you want to keep it?” She waved the cursed thing at him. 

“Gods, no!” 

“And neither do I. Guess she’s going to have to deal with having a shiny, black paperweight.” Violet stuffed it into her pack and went out into the night. 

After checking her map and drawing the calculations in the snow with a stick, Violet created a portal that dropped her at the base of the tiered platforms of Azura’s shrine. It was blowing bitter cold between the mountains and even after all day, she still had a strange headache banging on the top of her head. Then she realized she’d passed the hothouses at least twice that day and there were more than enough ingredients for her to have done something about it. That just made it hurt more. 

She cast her fire shield around herself and stared up at all of the stairs. It had been a little too long since she last got in trouble for being a fuck-up and got yelled at by people who didn’t actually care about her or the situation, but still got to decide her fate. …People who mattered, anyway. Aranea was still there. Faldren must have completed his pilgrimage and had gone home. The statue was still really unsettling in how massive it was. 

The priestess didn’t turn around, just like last time. “You return.” 

The Dragonborn didn’t say anything. She simply pulled the Black Star out of her pack and put it on the altar in front of them. This was awfully familiar; bringing back a broken piece of junk that people had far too high expectations of. 

Aranea looked down and almost reached for it, but recoiled when her hand got too close. “What did you do to it?!” 

Here we fuckin’ go… “I didn’t do anything except what Azura said to do. I went and found the Star. Thanks for not even bothering to tell me what the fuck it was, by the way. The man who stole it was already dead and had locked his soul inside it. I kicked him out. And here he is. Almost spent him on a pair of boots.” And she dropped the regular black soul gem with Malyn in it beside the Star. 

“But it’s a black gem. This cannot be the bright star that Azura created!” 

“I’m not a master enchanter; I don’t know all the details of that business. Fuck, I had to get help getting him out of the Star. Malyn turned it black and broke the damn thing into several pieces with the constant siphon of human souls into it with no outlet. Could’ve told me about that, too. Would have been nice to know a lot of things about this whole damn thing,” Violet sighed and rubbed her face. 

Aranea raised her voice. “You should have brought it straight back here!” 

Which sent Violet into her deep growling and counting on her fingers. “One. Do  not  pin this on me. Two. Why did you send me to find the enchanter for his help, when you and your imaginary friend could have just sent me to fucking Ilinalta without getting him involved in the first place? Three. When I went to him to find the Star, he said he would help me, then explained what you two did not. Four. He said that he wanted to atone for getting involved in the first place. Sorry for wanting to spare a man a bit of fairness. Five. Azura only said that Malyn had desecrated it. That could mean any damn thing. Turns out it meant he broke it. I figured the enchanter would know how to fix it since that's his job and he wanted to help, anyway. And six, one of you should’ve seen it coming since that’s your whole… thing. But no, all I got was some vague-ass horseshit

Then Violet turned to Azura. “But seven. Ohhhh, seven. You put your incorporeal hands on my ‘champion’. He said he didn’t want to be involved. I TOLD YOU NOT TO INVOLVE HIM. AND THEN YOU TORTURED HIS MIND FOR DAYS AND HE WAS TOO AFRAID TO SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE HE KNEW I WOULD DO THIS! ” 

As the Dragonborn raised her fists full of crackling white lightning towards the Goddess of Dusk and Dawn, she brushed the ice rimed chain of the hunting horn at her hip. From the shock that went up her arm, Kaidan may as well have looped it around her wrists and yanked her backwards to the ground. Her magic dead in her hands, she stopped suddenly and heaved clouds of steam into the frozen night. Her hands covered her face instead, which did nothing to muffle the screech rattling the mountains and the snowstorm howling with her. Aranea stepped back, unsettled. 

The statue of Azura stayed completely silent. 

Violet spoke slowly and shook all over. “I did exactly what you asked. The only thing I want from you is to leave us the fuck alone.” 

Aranea’s eyes narrowed as she watched her turn and leave back down the steps. “Blaspheming monster. If you ever return here, I’ll kill you myself.” 

Violet rolled her eyes and didn’t stop walking. She knew she had to get away from there before something actually happened, and then she really wouldn't be able to stop next time. 

“Not gonna tell me to go back and finish them?” she spat. Usually when her control was at its thinnest, that’s when she’d start getting those ‘helpful’ suggestions. 

You’ve done enough.  

Chapter 17

Summary:

An obligatory hot springs episode.

Chapter Text

She was doing it again. Instead of going back inside of the inn, Violet hid in the ruins at the edge of town. Thankfully, it hadn’t snowed that day so it wasn’t too bad off in the ruins, though the tiny crackles of older snow settling calmed her somewhat. The black and gilded dragon’s horn rocked back and forth in her hands and clicked with the tap of her fingers. Just on a thought, she finally felt out the enchantments and it was what Kaidan had said; a muffle spell and a recall spell linked to the other horn. Which only made her feel worse for doubting him.

“You probably were about to get your ass struck down right back, you stupid fuck,” she hissed at herself. “Or worse.”

She still didn’t have any idea how to suppress the dangerous urges from the Power and Hunger. At least this was enough to remind her. Damn Daedra. And damn Kaidan for being right all the time.

A short while of savoring the peace and alone time helped somewhat before slinking back into the Frozen Hearth.

Kaidan glanced up at her from his book. “At least you’re still alive. Are you alright? What happened?”

“I don’t feel any more cursed than usual. Anyway, Aranea had a fit that the Star was corrupted, and tried to blame it on me. So I firmly explained that I went where she told me, did as Azura commanded, and that they were both absolutely useless in clarifying what exactly they wanted from me. And either Azura was also cut off from me, or she didn’t even care. She said nothing while Aranea threatened to kill me. I just left the Star there and got out. Kind of annoyed that I won’t know if that dragon on the other side of the mountain ate her.” Violet shrugged as she sat beside Nelacar’s door.

“Tell me we’re not in more trouble. Please,” Kaidan groaned.

“Like I said, I don’t know,” she sighed and rubbed her face. “…I almost went through with blowing her statue apart after Aranea started yelling at me. I remembered what Azura did to you when you weren’t even involved, and I wanted to so badly. But I stopped. And then I screamed out my frustration. But then I remembered that that attracts dragons and didn’t feel like dealing with that. So, either way. We should head back home. Teleporting still uses a lot of my magicka and concentration. Home… weird.”

He closed his book. “I suppose that’s enough.”

“I’ll catch up with you. I just have to talk to Nelacar; tell him I won’t snap his neck, and I didn’t snitch on him.” She patted Kaidan’s back.

He nodded and gathered up his things, while she went around the corner and waited to make sure Kaidan was well out of the door. Nelacar was too worried to sleep at that point and trying to calm his nerves with drink.

“Good idea, I should grab one on the way out,” Violet mumbled.

A long pull, and he finally put the bottle down and rubbed his face, pulling on the dark circles under his eyes. “You’re still standing. And coherent. What did she do, then?”

“Absolutely nothing.”

“It’ll come sooner or later, I’m sure.”

“I don’t know if she knows you specifically since she was vague as shit like prophecies always are, but I never told her who you were, only that you were trying to atone and be more helpful than she was. Didn’t get any response, other than her little sandal-kissing priestess yelling at me. I’d just stay away from the shrine.”

“I had absolutely no intention of ever going over there.” He smirked up at her.

“Then you’re set,” she shrugged. “And I know what I want now.”

His eyebrow went up. “Not your friend’s charm?”

“I have Malyn’s notes. I’ll exchange them for yours on how to fracture and move souls around.”

Nelacar scowled. “No. I can do the magic-nullification charm, but I’m not letting all this happen again. I can’t.”

“It’s not for the Star. The Star is gone. It’s not for necromancy, either.” She pulled Malyn’s grimoire out of her pack, set it on the table between them, and lowered her voice. “I know you’ve seen what I have to deal with.”

He nodded slowly.

“That’s too much for one mortal body to try and sustain. Akatosh didn’t think this through for all the time he’s had to see everything. This is my body. Not theirs. I just want to be able to relieve the pain, even if it’s temporary.”

“And put them where?” he asked. “You said they don’t fit in soul gems, and you already got rid of the Black Star.”

She drew an equation on the table with her finger. “Direct enchantments bypassing the need for the gem. Kaidan still gets his charm, some of the pressure comes off me. If I don’t do this, I might go mad any-damn-way.”

The master enchanter was leering now. “I thought you said you weren’t versed in enchanting.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t know the first thing about it. Now do you want this or not? I’m thinking yours will be slightly easier to parse than the ranting in here.” Violet tapped her nails on the grimoire’s leather cover.

Nelacar closed his eyes in deep thought, but mostly hesitation. …No. If anything, it served to remind him to burn his own journals as soon as possible. “I was already an enabler once. I’m sorry, but I can’t. I won’t. You should walk away from the whole idea while we’re both still relatively sane. Destroy that book. Throw it right into the hearth outside. Find another way. Please.”

Violet stared back and forth between him and Malyn’s notes for an uncomfortably long time. He was right, of course. But he also had no idea what it was like. And while she wasn’t averse to just taking what she wanted, it would have just wound up with her feeling guilty and angry at herself. Her tired eyes gave one last plea, but he was already back into drinking and staring off into space.

Malyn’s grimoire didn't exactly burn easy like she thought it would. Even though it was kept away from the leaky parts of Ilinalta, the place was still dank and the book still hadn’t dried out even though it had been in her pack for a few days. She lost track of time staring at the book burning, so by the time she returned to Breezehome, her own hearth had died down.

*

Once she and Kaidan were ready to go back to Windhelm, Violet copied the teleportation spell from the crystal ball in the Hall of Countenance (she didn't want to spend the entire morning copying the rest), then cast it in front of the Frozen Hearth’s stable.

“So, I just walk the horse into it?” Kaidan asked from the saddle. It wasn’t that he distrusted Starfall’s magic, it was more that this was adding ways for it to go wrong.

She nodded, but kept her concentration on keeping the portal open large enough for him and the horse to fit. Tiku could see the weird circle of noisy brightness in front of him and nervously tried to go around it.

“The hostler told me to stop spoiling you, so I can’t even bribe you. Go into the light, Tiku,” Violet said and tried giving him one-handed pets, instead.

“Don’t phrase it like you’re sending us to Sovngarde,” Kaidan sighed.

“I mean… if it doesn’t work…”

“Star.”

“Sorry.”

After a bit more coaxing and wondering if buying blinders would help, Tiku finally gave up and followed directions with a lot of grumbling. Kaidan and Tiku disappeared in the flash and Violet followed a couple minutes after, to give Kaidan time to steer away from the portal. As soon as she went through, she remembered that the portals in the dorms were all made only for people, and now she and Kaidan had a large, nervous animal not in Windhelm’s stables, but in the middle of someone’s courtyard.

“I should have checked the other side first,” She ran her hand down her face. “Why is this placed in front of someone’s house?!”

Kaidan shook his head. “It’s still early. Let's just get out of here before the guards come asking why we’re trespassing.”

*

The road south of Kynesgrove was long and boring. The ride was too bumpy for Starfall to read or write, and Kaidan only let her off the horse to collect alchemy ingredients a few times so as not to stall them.

“Going to admit, I’m not really in a hurry to see the Dwarven ruins. It’s more about a spot along the way,” he said.

Violet brought the map out. “But it doesn’t look like there’s anything out here except wilderness and a lot of lakes. Well, the mapmaker drew a weird skull nearby, but we can easily avoid it.”

He looked over her shoulder and pointed to the closest ‘lake’. “You’ll see in a bit. We’ll have to set up camp, soon. Sun’s going down, and judging by the map, we’re about halfway to Mzulft. And that weird skull is a mammoth. There’s a giants’ camp over the ridge, there. But they won’t bother us if we stay on this side.”

The ‘lakes’ on Violet’s map turned out to be mineral hot springs. Kaidan set up the camp under a stone outcropping, while she took Tiku to graze on the other side between the trees and get a scout around. By the time she returned with dinner, Kaidan already had the tent and campfire up, and he was pulling his armor off.

Violet huffed through her nose. “This why we stopped here? So you can soak?”

“You’re getting in here, too. You need it.” His gauntlets, bracers, cloak, and chestplate clanked onto the ground beside their tent.

“Not in that stinkwater, I’m not. And I’m surprised you want to boil yourself like a crab again after the college.”

“I couldn't feel anything but painful cold in my veins, last time. I can feel how hot this is. And you’re absolutely getting in here, because the ‘stinkwater’ is healing and good for you. Actual, natural healing instead of you constantly welding us back together with your godfire like we’re Dwarven machines,” Kaidan grumbled.

“It’s not godfire,” she tsked him and looked down at her hands. “It’s magicka from Aetherius. Think of it like an endless spring on another plane, that I can pull the healing water out whenever I need to. No gods involved. Not even me. I’m a mortal. So don't call it that.”

“Sorry, then. But as long as you don’t get too close to the heat vent, it’s not bad enough to scald. Just enough to melt all the pain out.” And his boots and pants were gone.

“How about I keep watch, instead? Be on hand once it turns out the reason it smells so bad is because it’s poisonous. Come across a pool like this back home, and you’d be dead before the sun goes down.”

Kaidan shook his head. “It’s not poisonous, Star. I mean, if you try to drink it yeah, you’ll be sick, but it’s just sulfur and salts. And I know there’s nothing around here because they know not to drink this, either. The animals are further up the other side of the road into the hills.”

“Save for the dragon on top of that mountain, over there.” Violet pointed behind the overhang with their camp.

There didn’t seem to be anything up there, but Kaidan trusted her about being able to sense those things. “Just don’t go using your Voice, and we’re fine. We can go kill it after we’re done with Mzulft if you need the soul.”

She watched him wince and wade down into the water. “Really hope you have a way to rinse that off. This is even worse than horse. No offense, Tiku.”

Tiku on the other side of the spring swiveled his ears in her direction, but only grumbled and kept grazing.

“You get used to it, city girl,” Kaidan moaned as he settled down. “And I know for a fact that city smells are far worse than this.”

She rolled her eyes. “I mean... you’re not wrong. But I also don’t go rolling around in the gutter, either.”

“Since when are you sensitive to smells? Aren’t you a healer? There is absolutely nothing worse than rot, sickness, and death.”

She settled down by the fire. “And the restorative fire kills all.”

“…It’s safe, Star. I promise.” He slumped deeper into the pool and muttered more to himself than to her. “I mean, if I haven’t caused you grief by now…”

Violet ran her hand over her forehead. “It’s not about that. It’s stupid, and I should know better.”

He half-turned around and looked up at her. “What, then?”

Violet whined at herself and tried to find the proper words. “Every time I allow myself to stop. To relax. To distract myself. Any attempts to escape. Even for a few minutes. The second it stops, and I wake up or remember, the shock feels so sudden and much worse. It was the same with that dark pit and eye tormenting me. Like if I were to suddenly flash freeze the water you’re sitting in."

‘Please don’t do that.’ Kaidan put his head down on his arms and studied her. She was worrying herself silly just sitting there by the fire. There’d be plenty of time for that once that Dwarven ruin woke up and tried to kill them. “But didn’t you just say the other day you were ‘tired of feeling like panicky shit’?”

“Yes, and I just said that it’s stupid and I should know better for feeling this way. But every time I feel a little better, I wind up waiting for my punishment for it all, and that's just as bad.”

“Oi. Starfall. Come ‘ere.”

Violet growled softly, then went to the water’s edge and stood over him.

“Take your boots off and put your legs in the water. That’s all.”

A bit of barefoot pacing and whining, but she grabbed one of his ales, frosted it over, and set it beside him. When she settled down at the edge of the water, it took some time before she grunted her way through the stinging heat.

“Has the world ended?” he asked.

“Not yet.”

“Don't worry about yet, think about now. Is everything over?”

“…No.” She leaned over herself and lost her gaze in the steam and ripples around her calves.

“I understand what you’re feeling. After what Rosalind did to me, I realized and almost hated how ‘lucky’ I was to have survived. But I resolved to use this second chance to do whatever I can to leave the world better than I messed it up. Even if more things happen, if I survive them, it won’t change what I set out to do, or erase the good that will come from helping others. I hold onto that, even though it still feels like something is about to happen that will tear… all this… away from me.

“But bad things are going to happen regardless of whether there was something good before it, just like a disaster doesn’t entitle us to a break or a windfall. That’s the world we live in. Hold on to the good things. People and gods keep telling you this, and you won’t take it to heart, because you keep overthinking it. And while I don’t like that I have to keep reminding you of this, I guess I’ll have to.” He reached up and rubbed her back.

“I hate that you’re giving me this advice while you’re naked. Why is it whenever anyone has wisdom for me, it has to be given in the most awkward or uncomfortable way possible?” Violet was bent over herself with her arms over her head.

I hate that you weren’t bloody paying attention to anything but my dick.” This damned woman, for all contexts of the word. Kaidan grabbed the ale, flicked the cork at her head, and turned away from her. “Good talk. Get the rest of the way into the water. I can hear your neck and shoulders.”

“I wasn’t even looking,” she muttered and sat up. The little crackles made her groan more than the pain did. ‘And half the pain comes from having to look so far up at you, you damn half-giant.’

“Your mind wanders more than a Khajiit caravan. Probably makes as many stops, too. And here I thought you were immune to mortal urges,” he scoffed. Then he thought of her constant urges towards anger and violence, except that was her being a dragon or rightfully upset. But there was also the inquisitiveness to the point of putting herself and everyone else in danger…

“Well, shit. Just bury me here, then. And I never said I was immune, just indifferent, I guess. Not completely and utterly as I am a mortal, anyway. But you know how morbid my head gets.” She threw the cork back at him and went to get the rest of her clothes off.

“Don’t have to call it morbid, Star. Bloody hell.” The rest of the ale went quick after that.

“You started it.” Violet sank deep into the water beside him.

“No, I did not.”

*

Violet did eventually let go of (most of) her pain; the hand-chilled jazbay grapes around the spring and Kaidan’s (far less horrible) stories of his younger adventures helped distract her long enough for the healing waters to do their work. The cold, clear night sky rippled with sparkling stars and waves of color which distracted them even more. Once he was satisfied with how much Starfall had mellowed out, they sat around the fire and ate her catch. He was surprised that she’d brought him another rabbit as much as she complained about it.

Kaidan gestured upward past the smoke rising and dispersing high above them. “Look at all of them. Brynjar said that there was a way to use the stars as a map. But whenever I try to figure it out, I always get more lost. Easier to use all the landmarks and features on the ground. Seems a shame on a night like tonight.”

“It’s slightly more complicated than just looking up and going whichever way the Warrior is pointing, despite the saying,” she said.

He looked over at her. “You know how to do it?”

“Vaguely. I haven’t had to do it but a few times and it… mostly worked. Got where I meant to go.”

“Huh. Show me? Perfect time for it.”

She nodded, smiling a little and used her own magelights to help point out the relevant stars and constellations. It took a few attempts, as Kaidan kept cheating by looking around instead of doing the math in his head and Violet would find some new pretty thing in the sky to be distracted by, but putting their heads together and a lot of numbers in Violet’s journal helped it make more sense for both of them.

“It’s early in the winter months, but there’s only the auroras, tonight. Would've thought to see at least one shooting star,” Kaidan said.

Violet looked around. “Huh. It’s such a weird thing though. Did you know ancient stories call stars the places where the rest of the gods deserted our world before it was finished? But then what is a shooting star? And just what would everything look like if they’d actually managed to finish?”

“As long as they don’t all decide to come back at once,” he said around his ale. “I don’t think Mundus would survive that much meddling.”

“Ugh. It’s barely holding together as it is— OH!”

Violet quickly leaned over and tilted Kaidan’s head upward, nearly making him choke.

“You couldn’t have just pointed it out?!” he coughed.

“No, that would’ve just been a lot of ‘Where?!’ until you missed it.”

“Well, I almost missed it, anyway!”

“Fine. Here's a free one,” she sighed.

Violet turned her palms out and two strange fractal crystals appeared in them. Before she could finish, Kaidan touched her wrist.

“You don't have to, Star. Besides, I’m tired and I don’t want you drawing the attention of every living thing in the area. Nor am I going to let you sleep the day away tomorrow because you tried to bring the sky down, now.”

She studied his face in the firelight, then shrugged. The crystals disappeared from her hands. “I’ll take first watch, then.”

*

It took the entire following day to reach Mzulft, and as the Dwarven city rose from the tree line, Violet already felt a strange buzzing deep in her chest.

“I know this sounds like a strange question, but do the Falmer keep the cities working?” she asked.

“No. Why?”

She closed her eyes. “I can hear and feel heavy, loud vibrations from out here.”

“The Dwemer built these places so well, they run on their own. …Mostly. The machines inside run on their own forever, doing who knows what, and no one’s figured out how to turn them off. And the Falmer don’t seem to know either; they just build camps in the biggest rooms that haven’t collapsed.” Instead of going all the way up the hill, Kaidan stopped at a smaller, similar styled building halfway there. “We can check the outside tonight, but since the Falmer are technically nocturnal, it’s better to see how far in we can get during the day.”

“Is it safe to leave Tiku out here by himself? They won’t come out here and try to eat him or whatever they do?”

“It depends on whether they come outside to mark their territory with those effigies. They usually stay in the deepest parts of caves, far away from the light. If we see those all the way up here, then we can figure out what to do with him.”

Scouting around didn't turn up anything, so they hid Tiku behind the smaller building and took turns on watch, anyway.

Chapter 18

Summary:

*A Dwemer spider bot tips its lid* M'zulft.

Chapter Text

Carved into the side of the mountain, broken brass pipes hissed clouds of steam and made the entrance to Mzulft even more foreboding. Half of the outside had already collapsed, and Violet hoped that they’d still be able to find either the Synod or the staff.

“And it’s just been hissing away like this for centuries?” Violet frowned.

“Aye. Come on, and keep your guard up.” Kaidan said as he opened the heavy brass door for her.

Violet’s guard being up lasted exactly two seconds. An Imperial man looked up at them from the doorway, reached out with a journal in his hand while trying to gasp something, then promptly collapsed on top of her and died.

“Shit!” She struggled out from underneath him and tried to see if there was anything she could possibly do for him, but her Detect Life spell and the giant gash down his back told her not to bother.

Kaidan picked up the leather notebook and started reading. “Says here the Synod’s been stalled here for a while, and the people back in Cyrodiil are getting impatient. Whatever they’ve come looking for after all this time, they still haven’t found it. And if this one’s dead at the front door, it’s well protected... if it’s even still here.”

“Check his bag.” Violet pushed it towards him and made a note of the man’s name. Maybe someone back at the college could send a note that this one (and possibly the others) weren’t coming back.

More notes, supplies, and a key. “They were waiting for something called a ‘focusing crystal’ to come back from wherever they sent it.”

She stood up and looked for it in the man’s pockets. “Not here, but I guess if it’s needed here, we need to keep an eye out for it. Not that we have any idea what it looks like. Damn, we’re barely even in the door.”

They gathered themselves again, and once the inner door opened with the key, they followed the painfully loud and steamy hallways. Whatever killed the man at the entrance must have chased him back out, because the bloodbath went on for a good while. They quickly found what had killed a woman by breaking her legs and trampling her to death when two ‘little’ brass spiders clattered around the corner, saw them, and charged.

‘Damn it, they’re spiders, I forgot—’ Kaidan had barely finished the thought before the Dwarven spider workers exploded in a ball of lightning with legs flying and metal popping.

“Huh! Would see statues of these things in the Dwemeri Studies building, but never got to see a working one.” Violet kneeled over what was left of the broken machines and started picking them apart.

He blinked at her. “…At least you’re not shrieking like a bloody fool. And, for the love of the gods, try not to do that and draw out whatever Falmer might be nearby. Not that it’d be hard to notice all the lightning and explosions if there’s any more of these things.”

“It’s not ‘alive’, and I guess the spell is working. It’s kind of unsettling, but that’s about it. Hmm. They’re powered by soul gems. Free soul gems are good. Metal scrap… gears… bit of oil to keep it from locking up. Lightning conducts through the metal and disrupts the aetheric flow from the gem. Shouldn’t be too horrible, then.”

And Starfall was already in scholar mode. Hopefully it’d work to their advantage long enough for them to reach the oculory mentioned in the journal. If anyone survived, they’d hopefully be there. If she didn’t decide to spend all their hours studying whatever popped out of the wall in front of her. Or the traps.

“You can't see if there's any more of those, can you? Since they’re not alive?” Kaidan asked.

“No. But they’re noisy enough I can hear them coming. Sort of. That humming from outside in my chest is a lot louder in here. And it’s... harmonic.”

“Like singing?” He’d only ever heard the steam, gears, and Falmer growling.

“No… Hmm. Uh…” Violet stood up and listened for a few moments. “Imagine if a flute was made of metal. And then there were dozens of people playing them very badly at once.”

“Definitely haven’t heard that.”

“Be thankful,” she grumbled.

“Oi, come here. This is what their traps look like.” He turned a corner and stopped her from entering a narrow hallway. “Not a runestone, exactly, but works the same.”

“Why are there traps in wherever this is? What if people lived here? If this is some kind of lab or factory, what on Nirn is here that they need to kill intruders with both traps and machines?” She looked at the nearly invisible tile in the middle of the floor, then dropped a nearby stone jar on it. The ceiling all along the hallway opened little slots and sharp spears slammed down to the floor.

“Most likely this oculory. Hopefully there’s still someone still left alive to tell us what the bloody hell happened here.”

*

Violet was constantly tempted by all the shiny artifacts, only to find that picking up more than one or two pieces was more than she wanted to lug around for what could turn out to be days (‘what is this place anyway? A factory? A laboratory? A city?’). Even more of the metal spiders came out to harass them, and were quickly struck down for free soul gems and... rubies? She held one up to show Kaidan.

“This is what I meant when I said that we’ll be finding things that’ll cover the cost of coming out here and getting bothered by all these machines. People’ll pay good money if we grab any of this golden junk on the way out, and the Dwemer used all kinds of precious stones and metals to build this stuff, even if the rest of their buildings are simple carved stone,” Kaidan said.

“I wonder if the school will give me a bonus for bringing something back…” she said as she pulled a tiny canister of oil from the spider.

“After the books, I wouldn’t bet on it,” he scoffed.

*

It became harder and harder to follow where they were supposed to go as more and more hallways were collapsed until the carved hallways turned into caves.

Kaidan whispered and nudged her shoulder. “Oi. Starfall. Are you alright?”

Violet was barely paying attention and writing in her book while walking; she was confident that Kaidan wouldn’t let her walk into anything. “Yeah, why?”

He stopped her and pointed into a large room with a campsite in the middle. Two very large chaurus were feeding on a corpse, and they hadn’t seen the two fresher meals yet. Starfall tilted her head as if she was confused as to what she was looking at. But again, there wasn’t any whinging or panicking, so…

“You can see them, right?” He frowned. If that spell she’d cast on herself backfired and made them invisible, that might turn out to be worse.

“Close enough. I’m guessing you’re trying to find out if I’m going to panic, which means those are…?” Not that it mattered, she was already swirling ice in her palms.

“Chaurus.”

“Then the spell is working. I can see… something, and it’s vaguely unsettling, but it’s not horrible unless I really concentrate on them for too long. On my signal…”

One of the chaurus didn’t even have the chance to look up before it was impaled and lifted off of the ground with ice spears. The other screeched and charged towards Kaidan. He dodged it spitting poison at him and slashed across its head, giving Starfall another opening to finish it off.

Kaidan nodded at their teamwork. “Maybe we can get through this pretty quickly, then.”

*

They traveled for hours through mazes, caves, and hallways until they finally found a gate. Violet saw interesting things inside, but the door was locked.

“Think there’s a key nearby?” Violet was studying and picking at the strange lock, anyway. Maybe it wasn’t as complicated inside as the rest of everything around. Almost none of her schooling included Dwemer studies; they weren’t exactly known for their medical advances.

“Wait—” He ran up beside her just as the corner rumbled and a large metal ball fell out of a steam vent. It unfolded itself into some sort of humanoid on wheels.

“Why are there so many?!” She pulsed lightning through it, but it was much more resilient than the spiders and only rolled backwards a bit. “They should have all run down or broke! The Synod should have at least been able to take care of some of these, as well.”

“Bah. Dumb bastards can’t actually cast their way out of a bag,” Kaidan laughed and smashed the wobbly construct against the wall. “Came in here, got ahead of themselves, and got picked off. Aren’t even any Falmer this far up or there would be a lot more blood on the walls. …And ceiling.”

“Didn’t need to know that.” She went back to prodding at the lock. “What happened that you know who the Synod are, anyway?”

“They’re a bunch of bloody sycophants. The easiest way to get in the Empire’s good graces is to find artifacts of power, like they were probably doing here. And the …gifts… that Dagon gives to his faithful are some of the most dangerous.” His voice died off.

She sighed, gave up, and patted his arm. “Hmm. Might mean getting the staff away from them and out of here could be annoying.”

*

As they dodged traps and marveled at both how interesting and badly designed the facility was (‘why are these pistons pointed sideways out over the walkways?! …OH.’), Violet kept a spell out for anyone left alive and an ear for the machines, and Kaidan kept his eyes open for danger. It became a lot more complicated when they found dead Falmer completely mangled by broken Dwarven spiders.

“So now we’ve got the Synod, the Falmer, the machines, and the chaurus. Fuck.” Violet growled and quickly went over how each died. Hopefully if they were fighting each other, they’d have an easier time to just sneak past them.

“They were chased out here through there.” Kaidan pointed to the big brass doors embossed with something unreadable. “I can’t read Dwarven, though.”

“Me neither. But I guess we’ll have to really start being careful, now.”

As soon as they opened the big, creaking doors, Violet heard something hiss and start running in their direction. It was a living Falmer this time, rushing to investigate the noise. Violet couldn’t help but let out a yelp before containing herself, but a few of Kaidan’s arrows slowed it down enough she could launch a much deadlier spear through its skull.

“Where there’s one, there’s more,” he whispered. “See how many.”

She groaned softly to herself, but did as he asked; they were still terrifying with their eyeless, noseless faces. A small tribe’s worth of flames popped up around and above them, with plenty of their horrible pets. These pale creatures weren’t immune or shielded from her soul sight, but that first one she’d met had? Kaidan wouldn’t like it, but she needed to figure them out, though at least she wouldn’t need one alive, this time. “Several little patrols, but no big groups. Is there any way to get through to them? Are they still at least remotely intelligent, just especially territorial and murderous?”

“Don’t bother. They’ll tear us to pieces just like those spiders. And that’s for starters.”

“Never mind then,” she shuddered.

No matter how much Kaidan tried to cover up all the noise his armor made, the Falmer would always realize when they were close enough and hone in on him. Thankfully, the pale creatures never tried to call for extra help, other than if they already had one of their chaurus nearby. But they were fast, angry, and their poison-edged weapons hurt like nothing else, even a small graze. For those, Starfall used small doses of her magic to heal instead of using up the small store of poison antidotes. Soon, gas lamps and chandeliers turned into glowing mushrooms. The Falmer had burrowed a hole through several walls and made use of several structural collapses to expand their territory.

“Good lords, no wonder the Synod got torn apart. The ruins cut right into some kind of camp or village. They probably woke every Falmer for miles down here.” Violet was haphazardly trying to make a map in her book before they were attacked again.

“At least there aren’t any pipes for the machines to hide in this far down,” Kaidan said and lured a group of them into a large ice trap. The Falmer were impaled easily enough, but one of the chaurus wriggled around and spit at them before dying. The acid hissed against Kaidan’s bracer and Starfall had to freeze it solid to scrape it off.

All of the insect clicking, screeching, and ice cracking alerted more further along and snarling echoed down the halls again.

“Oh, come on!” she hissed quietly.

“We’ve finally found someone as nosy as you.” He waggled his eyebrows at her and shot the two chaurus skittering around the corner.

“I can't help it!” Violet growled and kept stabbing one of the creatures with her spears, getting more and more irritated.

“I know.”

They were exhausted by the time the onslaught ended, and against their better judgement, used one of the now empty tents to rest and hide. Any other flames Violet could find were at the far edge of her spell’s range, so they had time to rest. She could tell there was still a ways to go.

*

“She’ll be gone for a few days, thankfully.” Estormo paced back and forth in front of the fire at the back of the Frozen Hearth. They’d paid the bard to both keep quiet and mind her own business so they could catch up on the next steps.

“Have you gotten word of what the First Emissary wants to do with the Eye?” Ancano asked.

“I didn’t think you really cared what she wanted,” he scoffed.

The inquisitor scowled. “I am still perfectly in control. The Eye is still behind the wards, and believe me, everyone would have noticed if I’d tried to tamper with them.”

“Noted. The Emissary wants it moved to our college in Summerset for study, especially before the Synod returns to ask more questions. If Starfall’s gone off to find them, they’re definitely going to become suspicious and come running back here.”

Ancano put his quill down and ran his hand down his face, pulling at the dark rings under his eyes. “I’ve been trying to make headway with it, but it’s just not possible to do without any access to it. There’s literally no information or reference to it outside of that useless book she brought back. And the entries on Magnus himself make several references to dozens of artifacts spread across Tamriel… except for that blasted thing. Not a word. Not a hint. Hell, the other artifacts barely even relate to each other. It’s as if half of them don’t actually have anything to do with him at all.”

The justiciar rubbed the top of his head and tried to ignore the headache building. Dangerous relics and artifacts popped up fairly often around the continent, but they were almost always created by Daedra (to tempt mortals and make them entertaining, no doubt). This supposedly Aedric artifact had them all beat, if his investigation and interrogation was anything to go by. He stared at the ever-growing stack of papers that Ancano was producing in his fervor. He’d read nearly every page, too. It was getting harder and harder to read the longer this went on, and he never stopped. Here they were in the middle of a tavern and he was still going. And they were starting to look like what he found in Starfall’s journal. There was something else, though…

“You realize though, that when we move the Eye to one of our laboratories, that you will be staying here and continuing your original assignment?”

Ancano scratched a tear through his parchment and glared up at him. “But it was my discovery.”

“Your discovery, but not your assignment.” Estormo said simply.

“…And I’m supposed to just hand over all of my work and walk away from the greatest find of the era, and possibly Creation itself,” he growled through grit teeth.

Estormo’s tone became stern. “You are not a scholar. You’re a... an advisor.” ‘And not a very persuasive one, either.’

He took several deep breaths. “I realize that.”

“Do you, though? You can stop writing, now.”

Ancano finally stopped and blinked at the paper. Even he didn’t know what he was writing at that point. Some of it wasn’t even writing. Scribbles of runes and stray threads leading off into nowhere. He dropped the quill and shuddered. ‘Gods help me...’

“You’ll at least get a commendation for the discovery and acquisition itself.”

‘Not good enough.’ He growled. “I don’t suppose getting out of this miserable frozen wasteland is in my future for this?”

“I doubt it. Even though Starfall and Kaidan are obviously suspicious of you, they’re still playing by the college’s rules, and don’t know how much information you already have on them. Bringing in someone new means that progress is lost.”

‘I’ll need to work fast, then.’ The inquisitor could only close his eyes and nod.

*

While it was Kaidan’s turn to rest, Violet took it upon herself to examine some of the dead Falmer. Thousands of years hidden underground had robbed them of their eyes, and then deformed the rest of their faces. There probably wasn’t much in the way of plant life underground save for mushrooms and tough roots, so their teeth had sharpened out to tear flesh. And there were plenty of chaurus for that. Which then changed their bodies. And the experience so far showed that they didn’t hesitate to kill people. There were human bones and trash sectioned off in a midden corner. Yeah… Cannibals. Not that she had any intention of getting caught and killed by the little freaks, but this just emphasized how important it was that they shouldn’t.

Gaunt, pale flesh and hunched over almost to where they could move on all fours. Sharp, little, nasty claws (‘could probably grind them down for poison.’) Despite being blind, they wore little necklaces of each other’s ears. They had little use for clothing, but still thought to wear loincloths, or the females had dresses of rags. She’d heard them use a sort of language, but it wasn’t really worth exploring as she wouldn't have time to learn it well enough to use it. No other elves were remotely changed this drastically over eons of abused magic, Daedra worship, and natural adaptation. Not much of this was turning out to be useful.

They were fast enough that she had trouble keeping them away long enough to kill them. Surprising and slowing them down was key. So traps, like she’d been using, or sniping as Kaidan had been doing. They were still complex enough in their heads that they could design, create, and customize weapons and armor, and all out of chaurus. The armor was sturdy, but not so much that it cost a lot of time or effort to kill. Fire still would been the best option, especially for the bugs, but ice would have to do.

The chaurus. They came in different forms, but they were all terrible, poisonous, fast, and bloodthirsty. The Falmer used them for everything from food to clothing to parts of their huts. Theoretically, if she could harness their poison, she’d have a new powerful weapon augment for Kaidan’s weapons. This was one of the things she was not going to be taste testing, though. And bless Drevis for showing her that spell to keep the terror out or she would have just turned around and left, Eye and staff (and everything) be damned.

*

“You need a bit longer?” Kaidan nudged her awake.

She only growled in response while crawling out of one of the Falmer’s huts.

“And you're back to your cheerful self.”

“No wonder these little fuckers are so vicious. That was the worst night’s sleep I’ve had in a while, not counting my usual nightmares.” Violet groaned and stretched. “Gods, I hope we find what we’re looking for today. You’d think this place was an entire city.”

“Very well could be considering most of the halls are closed off or collapsed. Can you feel anything out with your magic? What about your Clairvoyance spell? Make sure we’re at least headed the right way.”

“Need to wake up fully first. Don’t need to know what happens if I cast an Illusion type spell with my mind stuck between waking and dream states,” she mumbled.

Kaidan thought about it for a few seconds and shrugged at her. “As long as we’re on our way, soon.”

Violet studied his tired face. “You heard things out there.”

“Just a feeling.” The sort of feeling that made him put his hood up to hide whatever she was staring at.

She made her way to the fire to warm herself. They must have been deep into the mountain for how cold and damp it was. “I think it’s the machines here. Not entirely certain, though. I’m not versed in Dwarven machinery. But that hum is still annoying me to death. How the people who lived or worked here dealt with it is a mystery.”

“Probably more of their technology. To think all of their work, completely ruined. What would the world look like if they hadn’t disappeared?”

“Different.”

Once she was awake enough, her spell pointed them in the right direction, which happened to be hours and miles of more tunnels and caves. Kaidan felt it would have gone a bit faster if Starfall didn’t get curious and root through every nook and cranny as if the Falmer were hiding some secret knowledge or treasure from the little scholar, but it distracted her enough that she wasn’t completely surly and complaining every step of the way, so he let her. Strange things like bird eggs, rare herbs and roots probably plucked from the cave ceilings and walls, gems stolen from foraged broken machines, and the Synod’s stolen belongings that helped them piece together what had happened.

“Some water would be nice.”

“Definitely don’t drink any water you find down here,” Kaidan said.

“Feel free to pick the glowing mushrooms off the walls, though,” Violet looked up at one and picked at the filaments hanging down.

“Well if you’re the one who says to eat the weird mushrooms,” he snickered.

“Shush.”

By the time they were wondering if they were lost in the sprawling, winding caves, the hiss of steam and mechanical noises came back with a vengeance. Violet mumbled something and downed a potion out of her pack.

“Not sure which is worse, machines or draugr chanting,” she said as she squeezed herself between the bars of a window. Kaidan looked up at her struggling to get her (still ample despite everything) curves past the bars and turned away to keep from laughing, but eased up once she held up a large cache of Dwemer gold, soul gems, and a very large greataxe embedded between the ribs of a skeleton. “Want this? It’s enchanted to… never mind.”

“What?”

“It siphons souls. Which is why it was with a bunch of soul gems.”

“No. I’ll take it so we can sell it later, though.”

“For however long it’ll take us to find the right place and then make our way all the way back out.” Violet took the key on the table and unlocked the door around the corner.

“Well, I’ve never been far enough into one of these things to see if they have any kind of ancient dragon magic at the end of them. Always get chased out by either a Falmer swarm or… uh… oh no.”

She stopped. “What is ‘oh no’.”

Kaidan hesitated telling her. “You know how all the machines we’ve broken so far haven’t been very difficult or large, just annoying?”

“…You’re kidding.”

“Maybe there isn’t one here. Hopefully.”

“How big is it?” she groaned. “Ugh, is it getting really hot in here to you?”

“Hmm. About fifteen feet. And yes, it’s hot. The steam’s getting worse. At least you’re not in heavy armor,’ he said and wiped his brow.

Violet ran her hand down her face. “I’m wearing fur and wool. Damn it.”

The heat and steam became so bad that Starfall had to use her magic to try and clear it, but there was just too much being made. Rows and rows of big brass boilers kept chugging water from a giant pool of water that took up the entire central room. It did, however, give them an advantage as now nothing could possibly hear or see them coming. Violet could still see with her spells, though, and they used their bows to shoot the two Falmer guarding another labeled door.

“Maybe some of your magic is good for something,” Kaidan mumbled.

“What was that? Couldn't hear you.” She grinned up at him.

“You heard me. You’re the last person who gets to make that joke,” he scoffed at her while she picked at a container on a table. A bunch of gold stamped into ancient currency jingled into her pack.

“Could you possibly be starting to understand that magic is a large variety of tools, and not a pile of destruction made up to personally make you miserable?”

He only sighed and waited for her at the top of the stairs.

Chapter 19

Summary:

We're almost out of time...

Chapter Text

After the dank, claustrophobic, and crumbling caves, the Dwemer halls were a welcome sight, even if the threat of the Falmer themselves didn’t go away. Another several hours of exploring got them out of the wilting steam and into a great hall. Violet could hear and see with her spells that despite the size of the room, there was a group of the creatures milling around at the far end of it. But who or whatever was in there had killed several of the Synod researchers at once and dumped the bodies just outside.

“Uhm… so… Falmer are both vampires and cannibals. Because just being cannibals wasn’t good enough.” Violet was rooting around for notes or anything helpful against figuring out whatever the hell just murdered an entire group of people at once. Some were shot. All had burns. Of course, she could easily do the same thing and worse, but she was tired and this looked like a lot of effort to deal with.

Kaidan came up behind her and frowned. “Explains a lot.”

“These Synod researchers are all missing their blood. And the Falmer that we cleared out of that large camp had a midden heap full of bones and blood, but no flesh. They’re all annoyingly fast, and they don’t go up to the surface during the day. But the previous ones were definitely alive. The last thing I need right now is Sanguinare Vampiris.” And she changed her skin from iron to ebony.

“Shit.” He covered his mouth in thought. “Actually, the last thing you need right now is to get eaten. But I see your point.”

“No, if they somehow manage to kill me, then I don’t have to bother with all this horseshit anymore,” she grumbled.

As soon as she leaned around the corner to get a more accurate reading of the room, she was shot with an arrow through the shoulder and thrown backwards into Kaidan. He clapped his hand over her mouth to keep her from screaming and pulled her back further in case whoever shot her decided to pursue.

“Shit!” he hissed under his breath. “Don’t scream. I’m going to pull it out, just heal it and then you need to set up a trap immediately. Three, two, one…”

She nodded and screamed muffled curses into his hand anyway, but quickly pulsed light from her fingers into her shoulder. Looking at the arrow, it was something completely different from the rudimentary and jagged arrows the others were using. It was something that looked to be made by one of the more modern races, but it couldn't have been any of the dead Imperials just outside. “Somebody’s begging to get turned to slush.”

Kaidan quickly let go of her and ran around to the other side of the room divider. He used a shiny plate he grabbed off of a nearby table at the entrance to try and see around the corner, and instead of an arrow, a bunch of (what he assumed to be) curses and fire crawled along the floor and walls. “I think we’ve found the tribe chief and warlock.”

“Of course they’re the nastiest ones. Just thought these were easier to deal with since I was moderately prepared this time.” Keeping quiet was pointless at that point, and as soon as she dropped the fire trap on the floor, the runes didn’t get to spin all the way around before it nearly exploded in her face but bounced off of her aetheric shield, instead. “Let's try this, then.”

Violet joined Kaidan on his side of the divider and grabbed a couple of his steel arrows to enchant them. “Be ready to shoot. There’s a lot of empty space here on the floor, and on the left-hand side, a set of tiered platforms. They’re on the lower tier by their tents.

Kaidan nodded, then watched as Starfall created a new shield. It was a slowly spinning white rune in front of her hand instead of the distortion of air. She moved it to where he could lean out and aim, and as he did, it caught three arrows midair and sucked up another fireball. He responded with his own volley of fire enchanted arrows burning up their tents, and whether they were undead or not, nobody liked catching fire. He heard a lot of very angry screams, though he wasn't sure if it was because the Falmer were on fire, or their huts. Hopefully both, though he could have done without the noise.

“Come back; this shield is more powerful, but also more draining. Maybe the fire will either make them retreat or force them down here with us.” As tempted as she was to take a look herself, she knew it was more useful to keep watch through her life spell, instead.

He leaned back and glanced over at her. “Thought your new tiara was supposed to fix that.”

“It just gave me a little more magicka to work with; like the time to hold it for a minute, instead of likely dying off at fifteen seconds. Though I suppose I could have held it for sev— FUCK!”

Violet realized she was too focused on talking until she heard very fast bare feet tapping around the other side of the divider. She turned and put her shield up again just in time for a Falmer witch to wave her skull-topped staff and start making it rain fire on top of them. “Okay, fair, but fuck you! Kaidan, get to the platforms, I’ll keep her on this side!”

As soon as Starfall waved her hand in his direction and that larger-than-life piece of her found its place in him, he took off sprinting. It felt like he could run all the way back to Windhelm. He still wasn’t quite fast enough to dodge all of the arrows, but that’s what armor was for. Two were already lodged in his shoulder and chest plate. Fucking stung, too. And poisonous. Damn it. He could see the chief aiming at him from the base of the platform, and he was covered in both burns and glowing red runic tattoos.

The strange Falmer tried to put more distance between himself and the now very angry and very large human, but Kaidan used that small pause to shoot him in the ankle and pin him to the ground.

“Hurts, doesn’t it, you cowardly little bastard!” Kaidan growled and drew his sword.

The tattooed Falmer hissed and disappeared into a cloud of bats. So it was a vampire. Great. Now he had to worry about not being cursed on top of being shot and poisoned. If Star was going to take her time with that witch, he’d have to take care of it himself. A quick prayer and he downed one of her supposedly improved poison antidotes. Whether she’d fixed the taste or not didn’t matter, because now his sense of taste was acute to match. Damn it, Starfall!

More arrows rained down from the top of the platform, and he quickly sidled against the wall so they couldn’t hit that angle. They’d have to come down to protect their chieftain, and Starfall’s power (blessing wasn’t quite what he’d call it) was starting to itch down his spine.

Two armored Falmer screeched and surrounded him with swords waving, and Kaidan rolled his eyes. He roared back at them and cut through them almost too easily, even with the poison slowing him down. He’d saved the chieftain for last and stalked back towards him with eyes glowing brightly. The Falmer’s charred head had barely hit the floor before there was a large explosion of steam, and Starfall stalked from around the divider, grumbling and trailing frost.

“Don’t tell me she gave you trouble,” he scoffed.

Violet only looked at the arrows sticking from his armor, went up to him, and pulled them out, making him grunt. Then light swirled around all of the dead creatures, reducing them to ash, then flowing around her, through her hands, and into the wounds. “Just the usual annoyance.”

“Hmm.” Seeing her reduce the Falmer to ash, then turn them into her healing light somehow managed to take all the relief out of her healing him. “Just tell me you can remove this spell. When I’m not fighting, I feel like my heart will beat out of my chest and everything is crushing my senses.”

She nodded and revoked his blessing, and felt sort of guilty when he visibly calmed down. She distracted herself by seeing if the Falmer had anything. The only things left unburned were some dusty pieces of gold obviously taken from the Synod, and a Dwemer device; a small bronze globe with three blue crystal lenses lined around it. Violet held it up to her eyes and saw the room from dozens of different blue angles. “They obviously stole this, but I wonder if it’s the thing the Synod were slaughtered over.”

Kaidan pulled the journal out and scanned it again, then looked around. “There’s no real description of it, but it’s the only out of place thing we’ve found down here. Look at the size of this place. I wonder what the Dwemer did here.”

“It’s a display hall,” Violet said. “Based on what we’ve seen of this place that’s not collapsed, this was some kind of laboratory. Still unsure quite sure what an ‘oculory’ is, but it sounds like ‘seeing laboratory’, which also matches up with a ‘focus crystal’. Now what they had on display here, I don’t know. It’s long gone, though.”

“Well there’s a bunch of doors here. Split up and hope they’re unlocked?”

“Sure. I’ll take that far end, you check the top of the stairs.” And she was already heading in that direction before he could object.

‘So you won’t have to climb them,’ he thought. “What about that one leading downward?”

“I really hope we won’t have to go back underground.”

The door at the top of the stairs was locked tight, and the focus crystal wasn’t any kind of key. Violet’s door behind a pile of rubble was also locked, and she didn’t want to waste time or picks trying to get at the fiddly Dwemer locks. Of course they had to be super complicated, unlike the almost childishly simple Nord locks. The only way left was downward. That door was unlocked, and opened up to what she immediately recognized as a lecture hall. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anything useful left behind for her to take or study. Behind the lectern was another set of doors, and she could already hear soft hissing and clanking behind them.

“There’s something in there. Sounds like another one of those killer machines and not a Falmer,” she whispered.

“Likely, what with these Falmer being out here barely holding the door shut and completely torn to shreds. And you can’t see what kind of construct because it’s not alive. Hmm.” He put his ear up to the door, but the metal was too thick. “Go up on one of those levels and start up one of those big lightning spells. I’ll let it out. Please don’t accidentally reduce me to ashes.”

“Of course not. Maybe it’ll be one of the rolly ones and it can’t go up stairs? Then you can just run up here with me,” she shrugged.

Kaidan just shook his head and shooed her away. Once she was out of the way and had a spell ready, he braced himself and opened the door so that he was hidden behind the heavy metal. If there was anything left after Star hit it, he’d be behind it to finish it off. But he was too late to warn her that while it was one of the rolling constructs that unfolded out of metal balls, it was also much larger than the one that attacked them yesterday and even in its folded state, it was still bigger than she was (and thus the whole stair thing didn’t matter). He heard her swear, one of the stone fixtures cracking from being shot, and then ear-splitting thunder filling the room. Once his ears stopped ringing and his head stopped hurting, he ran into its storage room. Hopefully there was something in there he could use. Would’ve been nice for the lightning to have blown it apart, but considering nothing else they’d been through in here had been simple…

“Why is it that big?!” she shouted at him. “Kaidan?!”

‘I’m not going to draw attention to myself, y’ daft thing! Just hold on a minute!’ He shook his head. Starfall’s lightning spell did work towards fusing a few of its joints together and burning up its oil, but now it was flailing in every direction with its giant blade and crossbow. She was just out of reach and was hiding behind a stone desk, so there was that. There was nothing in the construct’s storage room but lots of junk and spare parts, and he didn’t have time to go through all of it. He didn’t dare get within its reach, either. New plan. There was a giant brick of solid Dwemer metal on one of the tables, probably used in building or repairing something. He grabbed it, ran back to the door, and pitched it as hard as he could at the construct’s back.

From Violet's point of view off to the side, she saw something large and shiny fly into the room, hit the construct in the back of the head with a loud ‘CLANK’, and the construct fall face first off of its wheel with pathetic flailing and ‘angry’ stuck gears grinding. Not only was she tired from not getting enough sleep and using so much of her magicka frequently, she was starting to become bored and delirious.

Kaidan had never heard her laugh like that before. Hell, he quickly tried to remember the last time she genuinely laughed and couldn’t come up with anything. She didn’t even stop when a stray crossbow bolt hit the wall by her head. She obviously had a sense of humor (mostly disturbing or weaponized against him), but this was… He looked out to find her lying behind one of the stone benches struggling for air and nearly passed out.

“Star, it’s still moving! Get up!” Now he was trying not to laugh. She had goofy, cackling laughter and it sounded stupid, like she didn't have anything rattling around in her head. Now was not the time to be thinking about how to get her to do it more.

“Ohh, oh fuck…” Violet climbed over the bench and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “I understand why you did that, but still.”

“Was it really that funny?!” Kaidan ran over to the machine and grabbed its crossbow arm to wrench it off.

She was still trying to stop herself as she shakily swiped her hand at the Dwemer sphere and it convulsed with lightning until it finally stopped moving. “I don’t even know. I’m so tired. Everything is shit. I need a proper sleep.”

He shook his head. “Well, I think I saw a bed back there when I was looking for something to stop that thing. We can bar the doors and you can take a nap. I’m not staying here for a whole extra day waiting for you to sleep all of it off.”

“I’ll take it. But this looks like a dead end and we’re still locked out of those other two doors,” Violet said and followed him.

*

Kaidan wedged pieces of scrap between the door handles and under the hinges while Starfall stared at what he had lied and called a bed. It was more like fancily carved stone block with a piece of old, disintegrating cloth on it. She took it, anyway. Maybe Star didn’t laugh like that often because it completely drained her. She didn’t even complain before curling up in her little ball and going silent. He’d wake her in an hour or two. Enough time to see if there was anything interesting in all these strange shaped storage units. The room seemed to be a little dormitory. Bowls, cups, books, a bed, and a pile of bones huddled in the corner.

More gold in the Dwemer’s old currency. More replacement parts for that piece of junk outside. Parts that didn’t go to that piece of junk. Gems. An ugly helmet of a Dwemer’s face. Maybe. Who knew. It killed Kaidan inside that he couldn't use it to mess with Star, but he well knew better. Books they couldn’t read. And in a strangely shaped storage chest, the key. They were one step closer. He leaned back in a (very uncomfortable) chair, put his feet up, and dozed off as well.

*

The Eye of Magnus spun slowly in the dead of night, seemingly wide awake, ever watching. Staring and waiting for him. Everyone had gone to bed hours ago, even Urag. That damn Orc would be there all hours if he knew a spell that would remove his need for sleep. The wards keeping it safe and stable all spun in different directions and speeds, which would have been complicated for someone who wasn’t well versed in breaking into things.

Ancano went through all of his notes over and over. He was so close. Something that Estormo had told him about entering Starfall’s mind was the answer. That they were actually trapped inside of the Eye and that it had some measure of influence over the both of them. He had refused to elaborate after that. Whatever he’d seen in there with her had badly shaken him. That there was something besides the two of them was a whole different matter he wasn’t sure he wanted to waste time on. Unless that was the Eye itself? But from what he saw within it the first time, there wasn’t a conscious intelligence driving it.

Estormo simply wasn’t ready. And Starfall was paranoid, predictably ignorant, and afraid of the thing from the start. But despite her avoidance, it still drew her back, reached out to her, and showed her something that had made her run away from it all over again. All of this because she was some sort of aberration of human and those flying beasts outside, as evidenced by her constant volatility and thirst for wanton destruction. Which meant he had to finish this before the college, and more importantly the Eye of Magnus, wound up at the bottom of the Sea of Ghosts with the rest of Winterhold.

He couldn’t simply break the wards like last time or else it would just alert everyone, again. Instead, he formed a portal against one of the back columns with the output runes directly over the top of the Eye. Stepping through, he landed on the top circular plate. This part would have to be done quickly before he became dizzy. Putting his hands out, he sent out connecting threads to the wards below and pushed them outwards until they were encircling the entire atrium of the Hall of Elements instead of protecting only the Eye. Perfect. Now there was plenty of room to work with. And he was going to need it.

As soon as he dropped down to the floor, Estormo dispelled his invisibility at the now locked gate.

“I knew it. Inquisitor Ancano. Stop this immediately.” The justiciar was stern, but trying hard to hide the hesitance in his voice. At least he didn’t wind up trapped inside with him, but now they were both in the position where neither of them was going to get out of this without losing a lot more than just face.

“I’m so close. You gave me the key, Estormo. You said that going through her brought you to the inside of the Eye. The first time, I was too enraptured to move, so it didn't occur to me to interact with the device inside. But I’m sure I can maintain control now that I have a clarity of purpose!”

“Purpose to do what, Ancano?! There’s nothing here! You don’t have the tools, the means, or forgive my bluntness, the magical depth to handle this thing. You don’t even know what it is, exactly! From what I’ve learned from everyone else, it’s a damned miracle you didn’t reduce the entire north coast to dust the first time!”

Ancano knew that Estormo had included the Archmage, Master-Wizard, Tolfdir, and even Starfall in his investigation. And somehow, he still came to the wrong conclusion! Most likely because of Starfall. He conceded that she was indeed powerful; enough that she could match the destruction and skill of dragons, liches, and mages several times her age. Plus, the Psijic Order didn’t bother with damn near anyone. Even Summerset’s Master Sapiarch couldn’t get an audience, and here they were paying her a personal visit… right as she returned to the Eye. She was working with them. He was so focused on the artifact itself even though Starfall was linked to it, that he hadn’t actually realized what was happening to her. Even without it, there was still something terribly wrong, no doubt her being Dragonborn only exacerbating it.

“Dust? Is that what Starfall showed you? Well, it’s a good thing that’s not what I had in mind, then.” The inquisitor put his hand to the central circular plate and the Eye stopped spinning.

‘Gods damn it.’ Estormo closed his eyes. He couldn’t get in there to stop him without making it all worse. Hopefully, there was someone else around here that knew something, anything, about the artifact. The damn Archmage was useless, the Master-Wizard was a glorified secretary, and Starfall, damn her, was off somewhere chasing rumors. At first, he mentally kicked himself for saying anything about the Eye being moved soon, but then again, this was probably coming since the second Ancano woke up from being stopped the first time. The only other person working on this thing was Tolfdir.

Estormo didn’t even get to turn around before a wave of radiant magicka hit him hard enough he didn’t have time to disappear. He was knocked to the floor and was torn between trying to escape, and hoping something would knock him unconscious to free him from the pain. How could that bloody fool interpret this as anything but dangerous?!

“Aht, aht. No. I requested assistance to deal with Starfall and her pet Akaviri. Not with this. I do not need help with this from you. You, Estormo, will find and deal with them should they decide to interfere again. For someone who whined incessantly about not being left alone to work in the library, she’s done anything but, and of her own volition. Obviously, she needs help to stay out of trouble,” Ancano muttered.

Estormo glared angrily. Really? Trying a Command spell on a justiciar? “No.”

And the inquisitor lost his patience. All Estormo had to do was do as he was told and he wouldn’t be on the floor right now writhing like a damned worm.

The plates of the Eye of Magnus slid outward, just like last time, and rearranged themselves in various shapes. The difference now was that Ancano had decided that the missing piece of the puzzle was that he needed to somehow get inside of it. This both was and was not the answer. As soon as the outer plates stopped moving out of his way, he reached in and got within a foot of the inner light before his hands and arms broke down into tiny motes of light. He gasped in shock and withdrew, but as he got back to where the outer shell would have reached, he looked down and the motes reformed back into his hands, now with several threads of lightning and light wrapped around his fingers.

“Interesting. Now do it,” he hissed at Estormo.

The directive was much more persuasive coming from the Eye. Estormo clutched at his bleeding nose and pounded his fist on the floor. “Think about what you’re doing! Attacking another officer! Putting everyone in grave danger! Stop! That artifact is eating away at you and your mind!”

“And it's going to burn up yours if you don’t stop trying to fight me and just do as I say!”

A bit more struggling and screaming had to happen before the two finally came to an ‘agreement’. Estormo finally pulled himself to his feet, panting and leaning against the wall.

“Fine then. But they won’t be returning here—” he gasped.

“—For a few hours. Plenty of time for me to read the instructions, so to speak. Maybe finally put an end to this godsdamned war of attrition against these stubborn lesser races and waiting on the gods to stop dragging their own feet. We can finally prove ourselves, now.” Ancano said, already becoming absorbed in the glow.

Chapter 20

Summary:

At dawn, it's two minutes to midnight.

Chapter Text

“Oi, Starfall. Wake up. Are you alright?” Kaidan sat on the edge of the bed and gently shook her arm.

Violet grumbled her way back to the world of the living. “No. Feels like that humming is taking over my head, and there’s been a headache bothering me for a few days now before we even got in here.”

“Didn't sound like sleep was helping, either. Like something was hurting you. Well, it’s been a few hours. Let’s see how far we can get this time.” He held up the strange and overcomplicated key he'd found earlier.

“Oh good, you found it. I thought I’d have to waste what few lockpicks I have left trying to get those doors open and waste even more time,” she sighed. Instead of moving towards getting up, she rolled over and back to facing the wall.

He gave her another nudge. “Star. I’m not your bloody pa. We've got to go.”

“You know how… shit… when Ancano opened the Eye the first time. Just give me a minute,” she groaned.

“Are you saying you can feel that from almost a hundred miles away?!” And that they were now much too far away to be able to do anything about it in time, which was exactly what he was afraid of when they came all the way out here.

“It’s really faint, so it’s not so horrible that I'll be sick or pass out again. Yet. I’m sure the fact that the Eye still has a hold on me has something to do with it. Can't even have a nap,” she whined and hugged herself.

“I think the bigger problem is if we can get whatever we came for and get back in time before even more of north Skyrim is gone,” Kaidan said.

*

After downing most of her medicine and plugging her ears against the loud humming, they carefully made their way back out to the main room where they’d fought the Falmer chieftain. No one living or machine had come in behind them, and there was nothing left after the fire save for a few more bits of Dwemer gold and assorted metal scrap. The key didn’t go to the door on the lower level, and she didn't want to be bothered any further unless the key Kaidan found didn’t work with the upper door, either. Thankfully it did work on the upper door, and on getting to the top, found they were locked out again, anyway. It wasn’t exactly encouraging that there was another dead Falmer that had clawed scratches into the door.

“Shit. I guess I’ll have to pick this one. Even with my earplugs in, I can feel something vibrating and giving off enough radiant energy and magicka it’s almost ticklish. We’re definitely close to something powerful.” Violet shuddered.

“Ticklish? Never heard anyone describe magic that way before.”

Violet lightly held a finger, barely glowing with static, between Kaidan’s eyebrows without touching him until he recoiled. “That, but everywhere.”

“Eugh. Don’t do that anymore,” he shuddered.

“Just be thankful you can’t feel most of what’s happening in here,” she said as she studied and prodded at the lock.

All the clicking and fighting with the door was useful even if the lock didn’t open, as it drew someone to investigate the noise. A jittery male voice was muffled through the thick, heavy door, but Violet could just barely still understand it.

“G… Gavros? Is that you? I’d almost given up hope. Let me get the door…”

A scruffy Imperial man slowly opened the door, then recoiled at the sight of them and summoned a somewhat pathetic aetheric shield. “Wait! Who are you?! Where’s Gavros?!”

Violet held up her hands and backed away slowly. “We're from the College of Winterhold. Sort of. More like on their behalf. Honestly, if I could figure a way out of all this—”

“Starfall…” Kaidan sighed.

“Sorry,” she ran her hand down her face. “Look. Are you part of the Synod? We’ve been looking for you. Unfortunately, when we got in here, maybe one or two days ago, everyone human we came across was dead already. Gavros was at the front door and gave us this shortly before he died.”

The man took Gavros’s journal from them and quickly flipped through it, then cursed, threw the journal on the ground, and worried himself into pacing in circles. “Those damned Falmer! The machines! Everyone’s dead! The entire expedition is a disaster! I can’t even finish without the crystal he was supposed to bring back! And there wasn’t even anything good here!”

“What do you mean, there’s nothing here?" Violet asked slowly. If they wasted nearly three days with nothing to show for it and everything was already escalating…

Oh, good. Now he had two high-strung mages to babysit. Kaidan grabbed Starfall’s shoulder. “Just hold on a minute. You. Who are you, exactly? And we found a crystal on one of the Falmer just outside. Is this what you lot died over?” And he pulled the Dwarven device lined with blue lenses out of Starfall’s pack and showed it to the researcher.

His eyes lit up. “Oh… oh, gods! You have it!” He reached for it and Kaidan easily held it up and away from him. “Oh! Right, right. I’m Paratus Decimus. And I guess I’m now the head researcher for the Synod Expedition Team for Mzulft. Congratulations on wading through this death trap to find me, alone, barricaded in a single room, with nothing to show for months of work, I guess!”

The man was clearly unraveling faster than Violet was, but maybe keeping him talking would help. She went slowly. “Okay. Paratus. You can have the crystal if you tell us what all this is all about, and just what the fuck happened that an entire team of Imperial government mages were completely unprepared for this place.”

Paratus looked out into the hall behind her, then pulled them inside and locked the door again. He took a seat on a supply crate and put his head in his hands. “I can’t tell you the whole thing, obviously. Top secret.”

“Bah, another arse-kissing trinket hoarding mission,” Kaidan scoffed. Starfall smacked his arm and told Paratus to continue.

“Anyway, we had the crystal. It’s for the machine through there! We almost had it working, Gavros and I. My idea, by the way. But then he got the temperature wrong and the extreme cold warped the lenses! He had to go all the way back down to Cyrodiil to make the adjustments. He probably told them it was all his idea, too, the bastard.”

As for the rest of the team, we knew about the machines. We’d been in Dwarven ruins before. And the traps. Those always get the new guys who don’t listen and pay attention. But they were never occupied, before! Those savage creatures… Just our luck that they managed to kill Marina first, and of course she was the healer. Several people died to poison and fever. Taken in the night…” Paratus got quiet and shaky after that.

Violet cursed quietly into her hand. “Gods. Alright. How much do you know about this project? We came down here because the Master-Wizard from Winterhold said you all came out here looking for the Staff of Magnus. We’re looking for it, too. It’s absolutely critic—”

“Wait, the College of Winterhold? We went out there months ago and the Archmage wouldn’t even see us! Had nothing for us! And now you’re here with your hands out?” The researcher scoffed and slapped his knees before getting back up. “Well, fine. This is some bullshit, but so is the rest of this mission. You cleared out the Falmer and you brought the crystal, and I just might be able to salvage this. …Yeah. Come on, I’ll explain on the way. Stendarr’s mercy…”

Paratus used as much technical jargon as he could get away with, mostly pissing off Kaidan and amusing Violet. “No matter what Gavros said, this was my idea first. The Council is going to know that when I get back. I was the one who thought of using this… this ‘Oculory’. I don’t know what the Dwarves called it. Something unpronounceable, I’m sure.”

Kaidan rolled his eyes. “Obviously.”

Then Paratus opened the last door. At first, Violet and Kaidan thought it had opened up to a wall, but looking up, they were at the base of a giant mechanical globe halfway built into the floor and taking up the entire room. A good dozen Eyes of Magnus would fit inside of it. Even with her earplugs in, Violet whined at the low-rolling steam whistle noise permeating the room. Paratus and Kaidan seemed to be completely unbothered by it, if they could even hear anything at all. It made her wonder if Paratus being trapped in with it for what might’ve been weeks was part of what had caved his head in.

“From all our research, it seems the Dwemer were intent on discerning the nature of the Divine. This machinery, all of it, was designed to collect starlight, and then… I’m not sure. Split it, somehow? It was my idea to replace one of the key elements with our focusing crystal. Months of enchantments went into it. Let’s just hope they got it right this time. Magnificent, isn’t it? Took an incredible amount of work to get it running again. Now I’m hoping it’ll all be worth it. Place the crystal in the central apparatus, and we can start the process for focusing it.”

Now Kaidan was impressed. “Incredible.”

“The crystal?” Paratus coughed and held his hand out, then sized up the tall Outlander. “Actually, you’ll do nicely in helping. You should be able to easily reach the armillary. Just go up there, and slide the axes into the loops, flipping the latch locks over to hold it in place.”

Violet and Kaidan went up the spiraling ramp to find a large bronze frame of interlocking rings under a dark crystal dome of starlights. It looked like the dome was also in several moving pieces, but it was all out of sorts as if someone had ham-fistedly thrown everything off. Neither of them had seen anything like it and had to ogle the whole beautiful thing for a few minutes.

Starfall pointed out how to install the focusing crystal to Kaidan, and once it was in, he pushed the frame back upright into the correct position and turned to Paratus. “Okay, it’s in. How does it work?”

“Now the crystal needs to be focused. It was created off-site, so we knew that some adjustments would have to be made. Heating and cooling the crystals will cause them to expand or contract, which will change how the light passes through. You do know basic heating and cooling spells, or is the curriculum at Winterhold even more sub-standard than I’ve been hearing?”

Her eyebrow went up. “It’s your project, why don’t you make the adjustments? You’re the one who should know all the parameters.”

Paratus immediately blustered and walked back towards the ramp. “Well someone has to oversee whether everything’s working or not!”

Violet and Kaidan side-eyed each other, then he snickered and mouthed, “Told ye’.” She sent him up to the control platform to turn the focus on, while she stayed down below, and Paratus talked them through each of their roles. It took a painful amount of back and forth with Violet alternating heat and cold through her hands before the beams of light moved around like spotlights highlighting different bands of the night sky.

Paratus waved up to Kaidan. “Perfect! Now I need you to rotate the central ring… oh, 270º. Then angle the focus down 45º—”

Kaidan growled, “Not a scholar.”

“You’ll be one by the time I’m done with you, lu’he. One-quarter counterclockwise and mid-afternoon,” Violet said.

“Thank you,” he replied. At least the controls were intuitive after three thousand years. “All he had to say was that the giant focus crystals on the dome should line up with the lights.”

The massive gears above and below clacked and ground slowly as the rings rotated until the frame lock lined up with the focus crystal’s light. Violet squeaked and rubbed her eyes as she was hit in the face with a projection of bright light on the staging area, and she didn’t even have time to look up again as Paratus shoved her out of the way. He marveled at the large map of Tamriel now drawn against the control platform’s base.

“That’s it! That’s it! Finally after years my hard work is paying off— Wait… wait, what is this?” He tilted his head and walked back and forth trying to read the map. “There’s supposed to be a lot more on this map. Points of light everywhere like the night sky, but there's nothing here but two dot— Why is this map directed back at your college?! What did you do?!”

Violet knew exactly why. “I don’t even know what it’s supposed to show! We just helped you but you still haven’t told us what we just did! And to be honest, I only started working there last fucking month under duress, so not my college technically, yet somehow my godsdamned problem, and now I’m out in the backhills, talking to some paranoid jackass while the fucking world ends!”

“Starfall! Decimus! Calm down! Both of you!” Kaidan shouted.

Paratus shouted back. “You want me to calm down?! Everyone’s dead, I’ve been trapped here for months in the hope that I could get this thing working, and all I have to show for years of work, is a map pointing at… wait. You said you were looking for the Staff of Magnus, after we had just come from the college looking for it. And now this is pointed back at the college. …So you all do have something hidden there!”

“Believe me, it’s not that hidden,” Violet scoffed.

He stopped himself, then turned around in a circle as if to gather his thoughts. “Alright. All I can say is that the Imperial City Orrery is similar to this machine, but this one has a function that can capture radiant energy from artifacts and triangulate their positions, except whatever the hell you’ve got happening at Winterhold is interfering. The only things it can pick up are the college, and Labyrinthian. We’re supposed to be able to see dozens, maybe even hundreds of items that need securing. I suppose I can at least tell you that much, since you’re not seeing where they all are, either.”

Violet paused for a second, having heard that name before a long time ago, but unsure where or in what contexts. No, it was already gone. Instead, she brought her map out and marked Labyrinthian on it. It was just south of a city called Morthal and on the north side was Ustengrav. ‘Hmm.’ She called up to Kaidan. “Looks like we're going to Morthal next. But we have to go back to the college so I can get the planar coordinates. Hopefully it’s still there and hasn’t burned down or fallen into the ocean.”

“Sure, trudge off to Labyrinthian, and get your little Staff of Magnus, and just leave me here! I’ve beaten you at your own game, anyway! The Synod Council is going to hear all about this! And very likely by the time you’re back from Morthal, you and your college will have to take me seriously!” Paratus was rambling at that point about promotions and sucking up to the council. Violet and Kaidan quickly saw themselves out.

‘You have fun with that. I have more important shit to do,’ Violet thought as she stole an apple from a barrel on the way out.

“Poor bastard’s been locked in here by himself for too long…” Kaidan whispered to her.

“I’d say sometimes sacrifices must be made in the name of knowledge, but I’m pretty sure getting a couple dozen people killed is not one of them,” she sighed.

Kaidan smirked. “Not sure we have any right to talk.”

“Hey, not counting the bandits who brought it on themselves, we haven’t done horribly.”

“Just the Falmer tribe we just wiped out, and the rogue warlock school, and the necromancer’s coven. Or do you not consider them people?”

“They started with violence,” she growled.

Kaidan only looked at the back of her head.

As they turned around the corner into an unexplored hallway in hopes of finding another way out, the machines and unbearable noise all paused into silence, and the air around them became strangely stagnant. Violet instantly went tense. She could already feel it through all of the other aches and pains that had built themselves up since the hot springs. Here it was. ‘I fucking knew it.’

Kaidan almost bumped into her and looked around. “Star…?”

All of the life went out of her voice. “It’s the Psijic Order.”

On cue, the world paused, and the Altmer man who had left her a message a month ago in Saarthal reappeared to them. “Master Starfall. Thank goodness I’ve found you in time.”

“Let me guess, fuckin Ancano’s resumed his bullshit. I can already sense it,” she hissed through grit teeth.

Nerien simply blinked at her. “Ah… yes. It’s imperative that you return to the college at once.”

“Mmhmm. Fuck, I’m tired. We were just looking for the exit. Might be a couple more days if we have to go back the way we came.”

“And instead of maybe stopping him, or at least slowing him down, you came all the way out here, to us who are miles and miles away.” Kaidan scowled at him.

“I already told you, they’re not allowed to interfere directly.” Violet shook her head. “Just to come nag me and drive my blood pressure up.”

‘Like that’s difficult,’ he thought.

Nerien winced. “Please, Starfall. I understand you feel things are becoming bleak, but as far as you’ve come, we’re trying to help you as best we’re able without becoming another hindrance ourselves. It took nearly all we had just to find you here. With the Eye open again, we had to follow the threads all the way out here, and barely got to you before Ancano took over the connection.”

“He did? I still feel something… horrible besides whatever’s running here in Mzulft. Can’t wait to get out of here.” Violet rubbed her face.

“I’m sorry I can’t help you further. But you’re almost there. This path is the right one.” And with that, Nerien disappeared and the world restarted.

“Could stop time, could come find you even though you didn’t tell anyone but the archmage where you went, could whinge at you that something was happening, couldn’t give us a bloody ride back.” Kaidan muttered and shivered. Wasn’t as strong as Star’s spell, but the feeling still sat right at the base of his neck.

“Yeah. Hey, this door is cold. I think this might lead outside.” Violet felt at the door and could already smell the fresh air.

*

They were halfway up the mountain, at the top of the Mzulft complex. And with the snow gathering that far up, the steam clouds were obscuring the way down, but gave an excellent lead off into the star-studded horizon. Starfall clung behind Kaidan’s cloak and made an awful growling whine.

“I still can’t believe you’re a dragon who’s afraid of heights,” Kaidan rolled his eyes. “All you have to do is make a portal back to that little tower where we spent that first night.”

“I don’t have the exact coordinates and I can’t see it!”

“I suppose not with your head nearly up m’ arse. Do you really think we have time for this?!” He tried to look at her from under his arm and in his cloak.

“Do you really fucking think my head cares whether we have time for this?! It’s a lot more dangerous and difficult for me to try a portal with my head scrambled, you know!”

“Do you want to go all the way back through the factory and possibly find more Falmer and constructs?”

“Gods, no!”

“Then either make the portal, or we do it my way. And I guarantee you’ll hate it a lot more than a few seconds of looking down over a cliff.” Violet couldn’t see him grinning maliciously, but Kaidan’s voice betrayed that he meant it, and it was going to be horrible.

“I mean it, Kaidan; if I can’t see the damn ground, I don’t know where to put the portal exactly and we could end up falling too far and breaking something, or buried alive. Hell, you see how I tend to make them slightly above where I should and we end up falling, anyway!”

“My way, there’s a good chance we could break something, but if you’re just going to keep complaining, then cast that powerful spell on me again, and hold on to me.”

Violet’s eyes went wide. “What do you mean, hold on to you?! I swear to the gods if you're thinking of jumping—”

“Maybe, considering you didn’t mind when I did it at Bleak Falls. Last chance.”

“Bleak Falls? I was almost dead! Fine! I warned you!” Violet shouted. She still refused to come out from Kaidan’s cloak, and started weaving a portal. “By the way, making these is still really draining. Doing this, then getting us back to Winterhold is likely going to leave me too tired to do anything about Ancano if he’s really going through with being a complete fucking idiot.”

“I wonder if he’ll fall for the same trick twice, then.” And this time, he’d make sure Ancano’s brain was spread out all over the floor.

“I doubt it. At least point to where that building was. I can guess the rest after that.”

“Are you too far away to see your horse with your life spell?”

“If he hasn’t wandered off, been stolen, or murdered,” she grumbled. “Stupid Dwarven shithole taking almost three days to go through.”

Kaidan pointed out where he could just make out the golden roof reflecting the moonlights, and Starfall warned him whatever happened next was on his head. The second the portal opened, he grabbed her around the waist and ran in, knowing she’d probably stall and whinge. And just like she’d warned him, she misjudged the incline of the hill and put the portal too far off the ground. They fell several feet, and Kaidan had to roll with her to keep them both from getting smashed to pieces against the stone stairs outside of the building. The whinging he had hoped to avoid was now even louder, and came with swearing and the promise of hands around his throat when she could move again.

“You wanted to save time, and now I’m just gonna fuckin’ lie here until the pain stops. So there!”

“Please just heal us so we can go, woman.” Kaidan groaned.

Tiku heard them grumbling at each other and came out from the little alcove by Mzulft’s door. He’d been warming himself with the gas light there, then stood over them and nuzzled Violet.

“Oh good. You're alive and you didn’t run away.” She patted his muzzle and ignored Kaidan.

*

By the time Violet managed to do all the healing, calculations, and preparation to get them all back to Winterhold, it was almost dawn. The nap she’d had a few hours before wasn’t half enough at that point, but she knew full well that whatever might be happening at the college was very likely not being handled well by the rest of the faculty. All these mages far older and experienced than her, and those Thalmor fuckers were probably still alive and getting away with murder. As soon as the three of them appeared behind the Frozen Hearth, they were all hit with that horrible sickness from a few weeks before and nearly fell over.

“Why, Kai. Why does this shit keep happening,” she said and slumped down with Tiku in his stall.

At least he wasn’t freezing from the inside-out, this time. He leaned on a stable post. “You know why.”

“I mean the fact that it’s always somehow our problem. Mostly mine.”

“You’ll have to ask the Divines that.” He helped her up.

“Feels like it should be more than, ‘because your suffering is entertaining’, but Sanguine already told us that.”

The village was in hiding again, and the guards who were out were uneasy and trying to get instructions from the jarl, just like last time. Violet and Kaidan decided to stay out of their way and cut through the ruins to get back to the college. It wasn’t a good sign when most of the faculty was out in the main courtyard instead of being useful. The magicka font in the center of the courtyard was fountaining plasma again. Nirya, Tolfdir, and Phinis were trying their best to hold Urag back from running into the main building.

“Let me go! I have to at least set the damn wards!” The librarian, despite everything, wasn’t using his own spells on them.

“Mirabelle said that everyone has to stay out until they get this resolved!” Nirya shouted back.

“Where are Mirabelle and Savos?” Violet asked Tolfdir. Her voice was a mix of tired and angry that he’d never heard before and had something else under it.

“You’re back! Oh, dear. What is that?” Tolfdir perked up on hearing Starfall’s voice, but on turning around, she was completely distorted from her aetheric shield being thick enough to be visible.

“It’s the only thing keeping me from being sick on all of you and then passing out again. What the fuck happened? Why are you all out here and not in there tearing that Thalmor asshole apart?!” The anger quickly overshadowed the fatigue.

Faralda was pacing back and forth by a column and quickly spending her excess magicka by flicking sparks and flames around. “Ancano used Savos’s wards against him and locked everyone out. Savos and Mirabelle are in there right now trying to figure out how to get in. They told everyone else to get to safety, and we sent the students to wait back at the tavern. Hopefully, there won’t be any trouble on that end of the village.”

“Well, I was told by someone else that he needs to be stopped,” Violet growled.

“And before all the work we did trying to keep this place in one piece was for nothing,” Kaidan muttered.

“Well, if you’re going in there anyway, take this and cast it on the door to the Arcanaeum. Shouldn’t take but a minute. Even if this does get resolved, it won’t mean much if we lose another thousand years’ worth of information.” Urag handed Starfall a scroll, and she nodded at him.

“See, this I can do! Short, clear instructions! Concrete ramifications! ‘Stop the world from ending?’ The fuck am I supposed to do with that?!” she scoffed and shook the scroll in the air.

Tolfdir nodded over at the main building. “Just be careful in there. Ancano has managed to unlock something this time that he wasn’t able to before. Savos and Mirabelle shouldn’t be having so much trouble after several hours.”

She sighed and rubbed her face. “Hours? Gods damn it. And somehow people are looking for me to fix this.”

Kaidan leaned over and whispered in her ear. “You've already proven to dwarf archmages and dragons alike, just like you said you would. And the Augur said there was even more you haven’t seen. Plus, you can’t get back into the library until Ancano’s gone.”

Violet looked up at him, only to get a little smile. “It’d be real nice if I wasn’t exhausted.”

“Is there anything in the hothouses that can help, like your medicine?”

“Don’t think I have time to sit down and brew. I can only use what I’ve got left.”

“Alright, then. Whenever you’re ready,” Kaidan said.

She thought about sitting down to root through her bag, but knew she wouldn’t want to get back up. “You have to wait out here, Kai. You’re protected against most magic, but if he’s had it open for hours now and the two most powerful people here haven’t even been able to get to him, then I don’t know what he’ll do when he sees you, considering you nearly killed him last time.”

He really didn’t like it, but she had a point. He wasn’t faster than lightning, or having his head scrambled, or whatever was inside the Eye. “So you’re going to sort him out and then we’ll go?”

“Hopefully. And let Savos and Mirabelle know where we’re going, so they can hopefully keep the Eye safe until we get back. Again. Maybe it’ll be easier once Ancano’s a pile of ashes.”

“And we still haven’t seen hide nor hair of whomever he called. That’s not right. Especially with this happening.”

“It just means that they’re a much better spy than Ancano, and that Ancano’s an incompetent, greedy fuck. Hopefully they’re looking at this like a sensible, semi-sane person and realizing something’s gone terribly, terribly wrong.” Violet drank whatever was left of her potions after they crash landed outside of Mzulft, coughing her way through a few of them, then patted Kaidan’s arm. “Be back in a little while, sen lu’he.”

Chapter 21

Summary:

Don't mix acids, bases, explosives, flames, oils, gods, or demons.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Kaidan wasn’t sure if the pain he was feeling all over was because he got all of three hours’ sleep sitting upright in that stone chair at Mzulft, they’d fallen several feet onto stone stairs, of all the magicka he couldn’t use, or if it was because Starfall was about to walk right back into something that instantly knocked her out the last time and left her completely vulnerable, but was now a hundred times more dangerous. But she wasn’t as powerful last time, and definitely not prepared. Her aetheric shield was so thick, she wavered with light like a mirage. But after what they’d been through, he didn’t put anything past the bloody Thalmor with how ruthless they were towards anyone they saw as lesser. And Ancano definitely didn’t like him and Star after what they’d done to stop his idiotic stunt the first time.

‘Please be careful.’

*

The closer Violet got to the Hall of Elements, the more magicka she had to funnel into her shield until it started to worry her that all her concentration would have to go into that, instead of whatever might actually happen. Opening the door made the magicka plasma slosh across her feet and ankles again, but her shield held, as did her headache.

Savos and Mirabelle were standing on either side of the inner iron gate, and the blue wall that had been protecting the Eye of Magnus just a few days ago was now much, much larger and blocking anyone from getting into the main room. They both turned to Violet with a lot of annoyance and just a hint of worry, but she was busy putting Urag’s ward on the Arcanaeum door like he’d asked.

“I’m not going to say I told you so, I’m just going to go in there and bleed him like the fucking pig that he is. You all can deal with the aftermath. That can be your ‘I told you so,’” Violet hissed through grit teeth.

“You’re back! But I don’t see the Staff of Magnus. Was it a dead lead? Were the Synod even still there?” Mirabelle asked, slightly relieved for a break from banging her head against trying to break through the wards.

“Idiots got murdered by the complex. Mzulft didn’t have the staff, it had the map to the staff. After this bullshit, I have to go to Labyrinthian.” There were already bright, gossamer threads weaving through her fingers.

Savos closed his eyes and drew a shaky breath, but nodded. “R-Right. I’d suggest that we go retrieve it immediately, but this comes first, and I intend to put a stop to it. Help us get through this, will you? We’re throwing everything we have at it.”

Violet leered at the Archmage out of the corner of her eye. He and Mirabelle were supposed to be the two most powerful mages here. They’d even taken down a dragon without her help, which she realized right then was very bad; there was still a frozen corpse on the roof somewhere and she never took its soul. Not right now.

Putting her spell ward against the augmented runes did nothing this time. Ancano even had time to fix her little loophole. Fine.

“Stand behind me and cover your ears.” Violet took several shaky breaths. “If I seem stunned, don’t worry about it. Just keep him distracted for a few seconds while I get my breath back.”

“Not that Draconic magic you used on the lich…” Savos frowned.

Her voice hardened into dovah growling. “Not that spell. Yet.”

The two master wizards looked to each other for another option, and the worry on their faces became even worse. They backed away from her and put their hands over their ears. Violet braced herself and dug in her heels.

“FO KRAH DIIN!”

The giant ward flickered as arcane ice quickly crawled along the surface, with her power and anger behind it cracking it into thousands of tiny shards and blasting them into the room. It would’ve been nice and neat if they had shredded everything and everyone inside, but the ice and magicka evaporated too quickly. Violet tried to muffle her coughing and heaving for breath with one hand and had her other propping her up over her knee. Savos rushed in while Mirabelle quickly wove healing light around her.

“Ancano! What is the meaning of this?! I command you to stop this at once!” The Archmage shouted, but held back from getting too close.

‘Oh, you tell him.’ Violet rolled her eyes. She waved Mirabelle away and quickly went around to the opposite side of Savos to close in on Ancano.

The Eye of Magnus was wide open, but stuck in place instead of rotating, and the plates were focused like a bowl, reflecting its light through the central circular plate that Ancano had his hand on. His other hand cycled lightning threads in and out of the core, though she couldn’t tell what exactly he was doing. Despite being surrounded, he was either completely unperturbed or unaware that they were even there. Violet had never seen the inside before and the invisible threads all through her body were screaming that close to it. The sheer amount of magicka flowing out of it quickly overwhelmed her aetheric shield, causing it to pop into little motes of light. Everything fluctuating hit her like an avalanche.

‘SHIT!’ she gasped. Without that, she’d have only a few seconds before she was overwhelmed and unconscious again. “That’s enough!”

Violet changed her skin from ebony to bright, shining dragon scales, formed a full-body shield of ice and lightning, and tried to tackle Ancano. She didn’t even hear Savos and Mirabelle shouting at her not to do exactly what she’d just done. She jolted Ancano out of his stupor with a thick trap of ice needles impaling him and razor-sharp talons of electrified ice dragging deep into his face and throat. They were both knocked backwards several steps, but even with all that, Ancano didn’t even fall to his knees.

The Eye of Magnus turned up slightly and looked back and forth between them quickly.

“I’ve had enough of you and your godsforsaken guard dog, you bloody monster! The Eye of Magnus is mine!” Ancano coughed and the gashes across his body quickly sealed themselves. He forced the Eye to focus on him again and grabbed Starfall by her hair, easily yanking her off of him and shoving her into the Eye’s core. Her shrieking as the Eye started to tear her apart rocked the hall and she dug her claws into his forearm to keep from losing herself completely.

‘Dear gods, no!’ Savos made a short prayer and ran up to Ancano and Starfall with a conjured Daedric polearm.

“Savos, wait!” Mirabelle reached for him but his robe slipped through her fingers and she fell to the ground.

As Savos rammed the blade through Ancano’s back, then grabbed Starfall who was half disintegrated by the Eye of Magnus, the four of them together all mixing Daedric, Aedric, primal, and elemental magic set off an explosive reaction.

*

Hearing Starfall use her Voice so soon after going inside was nerve wracking enough, but everyone standing in the courtyard jumped in shock when her screaming got even louder and another explosion rocked the entire college. The shockwave of light and magicka knocked everyone down and nearly unconscious. Kaidan clapped his hands over his head and almost squinted his eyes shut, but went wide-eyed with panic when the front door to the Hall of Elements blasted open and a very large and bright star shot out, clipped the statue of Shalidor in front of the door, and took a giant chunk out of it. The star split in two and fell into the overflowing magicka fountain.

“Oh no! NO! STAR!” Kaidan scrambled across the courtyard and fished her out of the glowing blue slime. “I bloody well knew it! Starfall!”

While he was trying to revive her, the other faculty members rushed over and tried to attend to Savos. He was stuck under the piece of the statue they’d broken on impact, and despite magicka being fast evaporating, it still wasn’t breathable. Faralda solidified enough of it into ice that the stone was wedged loose, and Phinis and Urag pulled him out. They were all barely out of the way before Shalidor cracked and slid forward off of his broken base, crushing the fountain and the stone path in front of it. Everyone was in shock for several seconds before they remembered what was going on.

Phinis knelt over Savos and checked him over. Hitting the stone statue had crumpled him like paper, and the radiant magic from the Eye manifested as burns all over. “I know some Restoration, but not nearly enough for this. They hit the statue hard enough to break stone and he didn’t have any armor up, the damn fool. And I can’t even begin to speculate what that light was.”

“Where’re Marence and Ervine?!” Kaidan looked around. Starfall seemed to have been protected by her hard scales, but she still wasn’t conscious, and he could barely sense her breathing. Maybe she understood Dovahzul in that state and he gently shook her. “Star, come on! Nahlaas, dovahdin!” (1)

“Colette’s down in the village trying to see if she can heal the magicka sickness the Eye is creating before they come up here and burn the place down. Mirabelle never came out of the Hall. She should still be in there,” Urag grunted.

“Damn it. And our potions are all used up or broken. Is there anything in the hothouses?”

“I can see if Sleeps-in-Blossoms has anything.” Phinis left Savos with Urag and rushed into the east garden, roughly snapping flowers and pulling up roots before disappearing down the back door.

Kaidan ran his hands over Starfall’s cheeks. She was still glowing from all the magicka and her scales, but not being conscious, she couldn’t heal herself. “Please, Divines…” he whispered. He gasped when he remembered the ring Savos had given him, and nearly re-broke his own little finger trying to get it off. It fit perfectly on her ring finger, though. But nothing happened, and he didn’t understand the magic in it enough to make it work.

“Damn it!” He didn’t want to leave her, but he ran inside the Hall of Elements to find Mirabelle. If Ancano hadn’t killed her.

*

The Master-Wizard wasn’t going to be of any help. Mirabelle wasn’t dead yet, but she had used blood magic similar to Starfall and Colette’s to seal Ancano in the atrium. It looked like there was more of her blood drawn in runes all over the door and sealing the gaps than there was left in her body. She was on her knees and her hands were glued to the gates as if she were also physically holding it shut.

“Gods!” Kaidan ground to a halt before reaching her. What he did know of rituals like this from Rosalind, it would be incredibly dangerous to try to move her or interfere. “Ervine?!”

She didn’t turn around or even look up from the floor. “Ka… Kaidan? Where are…?”

“They’re outside, but they’re in a bad way. Phinis doesn’t think he can do anything for the Archmage and I don’t know what to do with Starfall,” he said. “That’s why I came back in here for you. But I’m guessing this isn’t something you can walk away from.”

“No.”

He rubbed his face. “Fuck.”

Mirabelle’s words gradually became slower and more labored. “I don’t know how long I can hold this. Tell everyone to fall back to the village. I can already feel something else coming from the Eye. …Master Violet said that you two need to go to Labyrinthian for the staff. When you two came to us the other day, I think Savos… he… knew. He remembered something was there, and that this was coming. Take my belt pouch. He meant everything inside for you two, and left a personal note for her. Take it, and get out of here. Bring back that staff before Ancano sinks the rest of the coast.”

Kaidan carefully went up beside her and without touching her or the glowing blood pooling down the door, unhooked the large satchel at her hip. It was actually pretty heavy, but he didn’t bother looking inside. “Thank you for helping us.”

“Please do me a favor?”

“What is it?”

“Send Tolfdir in here. I need to talk to him.”

“Yeah. I need to get back to Starfall, anyway.”

“Thank you.” The Master-Wizard rested her head against the gate. “And I’m sorry we couldn’t do more for you and Master Violet.”

Kaidan looked up and saw the edge of Ancano’s coat through the distortion of light and behind the Eye of Magnus. He was obviously back in his trance or whatever, or else hearing him talking to Ervine should have drawn him out to spit out more venomous lies or flat out kill him. He would have loved to see if he could get away with more thoroughly cracking his skull open again and putting all this to rest where all these mages couldn’t, but that would still leave that bloody orb and he definitely couldn't do anything about that. He ran back outside.

Mirabelle closed her eyes and prayed. ‘Please, Divines. Help them put a stop to this.’

*

Back outside, Tolfdir and Drevis were attending to Starfall, mostly unsuccessfully. She was breathing, conscious, and back to her human form, but Tolfdir was confused and hesitant about touching her and Drevis couldn’t get close, either. So the ring did work! Kaidan rushed over to Starfall and grabbed her without thinking.

“Star? What happened?! Are you alr—”

She wouldn’t or couldn’t come out of her fetal position and her voice was a whispering sob. “I know what it is I know what it is I know what it is!”

“Starfall?”

Tolfdir tried to talk over them. “Drevis believes she might have seen what was inside of the Eye of Magnus and it drove her mad!”

“Bloody hells. The Augur down in the Midden said she needs the staff to not be blinded by that damned thing. Tolfdir, Mirabelle needs you in there. …She doesn't have long.” Kaidan leaned in close and looked in Starfall’s eyes. They were bloodshot, empty, and unfocused. “I’m here, Star. What is it, then? I thought you said it was going to turn everything to dust.”

Instead of answering, she screamed horribly, and everything around them shook, froze solid, and cracked open. Everyone was forced to cover their ears, and those who could use powerful enough ward magic used fire and shields to keep everyone from being turned into more broken statues. Tolfdir hung his head and went to find Mirabelle.

“Gods save us…” Kaidan clutched her tightly to himself and shivered from the ice crawling into the gaps in his armor. “Listen to me. It’s me, Kaidan. I’m here, Starfall. Try to remember what I said. It’s not over, yet. We’re still alive. We’re here now, darlin’.”

Her scrabbling at his armor was making deep, squealing, claw grooves. “You can’t see… Thank fuck, you can’t feel!!!”

“We need to go get the staff of Magnus, now. It’s supposed to help,” he said soothingly.

“It hurts, Kaidan! There’s too much!” Violet howled.

Drevis inched back over to them. “I think I know what she saw… or is seeing. Will see? And she’s right to be… um. I can help, if you’ll let me. But it’ll be temporary.” He wavered his hands in her general direction.

“Oi. Star. Drevis says he can help. Are you okay with that?”

“There’s too much!”

“I know. But there’ll be less if he helps you. And then the staff will help even more.” Kaidan rubbed her back.

“I can’t stop it! There's too much!”

Kaidan sighed and broke the ice at his joints to hold her upright, then nodded at Drevis.

The Illusion Master knelt down with them, and with two green-blue clouds in his hands, put his palms over her eyes and his fingers deep into her scalp. “There is a lot, Starfall. More than even I can see. But not all of it is here now, and some of it never was or ever will be. This is all there is, right now, okay? I know it’s confusing. I get confused sometimes, too. Seeing your soul confused and scared me at first, but I know you’re not frightening or evil, and I only see you, now. I’m going to close the doors and windows, so there’s only what there was before. This will bring back the spiders, though. But that’s later. Not now. I got rid of the now ones.”

Kaidan had no idea what Drevis had done or what he was talking about, but slowly Starfall went from a convulsing, screaming wreck into an exhausted and dull shadow of herself. She still clung to him for dear life, though.

“It’s everything,” she whispered.

Kaidan could only keep petting her hair. “I’m sorry, Starfall, but I still don’t understand.”

“Just let me rest for a minute. It feels like I’m being smothered by lots of soft, warm sand…” Violet sighed in relief.

Kaidan frowned at her. “That doesn’t sound much better.”

Drevis shrugged. “Just understand it’s preferable to what was happening before. And the spell should hold until you can get to the staff, provided it helps,” Drevis said. “I’m sorry it happened that way, Starfall. But you did survive. I’ve had students see far less and not survive. Let’s just hope the screaming isn't permanent.”

“Then what is everything?” Kaidan asked again more urgently. Starfall was already barely hanging on to her sanity by a frayed thread…

The strange Dunmer sighed and covered his mouth. “It’s sort of difficult to explain, especially in mundane terms. People well versed in Illusion can see what others can’t. Like your son, and the business in the Midden—”

“That wasn't our son.” Kaidan ran his hand down his face.

“—Oh. Sorry. Anyway, there's a lot of stuff like that around; echoes of the past and future, hidden things, primal, new, and powerful magic, stuff spilling over from Oblivion and Aetherius, things like that. And it’s everywhere, and in different forms, and in layers so deep, that it's like trying to see the bottom of the ocean. But I think the Eye showed her all of it. Everywhere. In the past, present, and future. And at the same time.” Drevis had to shudder deeply at that, himself.

“And worse,” she mumbled. “I’ll explain later.”

“Can you move? I know you were exhausted before we even got back here. And then whatever happened in there.”

“Doesn’t matter. Have to go. It’s worse than what it showed me before. Or maybe I interpreted it wrong. And there’s no time—”

Faralda ran back through the front gates shouting, “I need everyone down in the village, now!”

Violet looked at Faralda and huffed a bitter little laugh. “You all can take care of it. Tired of being a godsdamned babysitter. So tired…”

“I’ll let you sleep on the way. Just have to get the portal to Morthal. Do you have the strength for that?” he asked.

Faralda quickly realized what had happened when she also saw that Violet was barely upright and Savos was dead. “Gods preserve us… Whatever that explosion was, there are a lot of magical anomalies running loose and destroying everything down there. Everyone who can, come with me and Arniel!”

“Still don’t know why we should bother, considering the village wouldn’t lift a finger to help us,” Arniel scoffed.

“…We still have to go down there and get Tiku.” Violet whined and weakly pounded her fist against Kaidan's breastplate. She heard little clacks, saw that he’d put his ring on her finger, and closed her eyes. ‘Shit, was it that bad?’

“Worry about that part when we get to it. Right now, we need to get you up to where the crystal balls are, so you know where to take us,” Kaidan said as he pulled them to their feet. He took his ring back and struggled to put it back on.

“What happened to Savos and Mirabelle? They were screaming something and then it was all so bright and horrible and then… everything.”

He hesitated, then turned her around and showed her the statue, and Urag and Sergius getting ready to move Savos’s body. “You two crashed through that. And Mirabelle did some kind of blood magic to seal Ancano inside. She used herself up doing it.”

Violet hugged Kaidan tightly and started crying again. “This is such a mess. I’m so sorry.”

He nodded and helped her back to the Hall of Countenance.

*

Violet moved a lot slower from then on out. Whatever Drevis had done seemed to also shut parts of her mind off. She was thankfully still able to use most of her magic, despite her injuries and fatigue. She took some time to gather new materials to replace what was used or broken, and Kaidan talked with Drevis to figure out how to help her if she slipped again, then they snuck back over to the Frozen Hearth and loaded their bags up on Tiku. It was quiet, so they figured the other mages had finally done their damn jobs. Tiku was still aggravated by whatever Faralda had shouted about, and kicked a fist-sized, silver crystal out of his stable. It was a strange soul gem. Violet examined it and gratefully took it.

“I’m sorry, Tiku. But we’re leaving again. Hopefully going to Morthal will get us far enough away from all this.”

*

Kaidan had warned Starfall early on that Morthal was a dreary, foggy swamp. But then Tiku took three steps off of the teleport platform and sank into the cold silt, which woke up the mudcrabs, and honestly Kaidan was just happy for something so mundane and simple. Getting the horse back out and on to the main road took some work, and they had to avoid the torch mob on the steps of the jarl’s longhouse also yelling about (hopefully unrelated) suspicious mages, but once they were on their way, Starfall easily passed out and slept the entire way to the snowy city of Labyrinthian.

He nudged her awake again well after the sun had gone down. “Sorry to wake you, but we’re here. Thing is, it’s a big place, and I don’t know which building to go to. And a place this big isn’t likely to be completely abandoned.”

“I’m not sure, either. The map at Mzulft wasn’t detailed; it just said this was the general area,” she mumbled and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

“Oh, wait. Mirabelle gave me something while the others were trying to revive you. She said that when we went to ask them about the staff, it made the Archmage remember something. There’s a letter from him to you in here.” Kaidan brought around the satchel attached to Tiku’s saddle and handed it to her.

Inside was the letter, an amulet, and a very heavy and intricately carved iron ring. It looked sort of like something ceremonial that would go through a very large cow’s nose. Kaidan took one look at it and seized up.

“What’s wrong?” Violet asked.

“Just a bad memory, is all. Don’t worry about it,” he sighed and slowly tried to relax.

“You've seen this before?”

He nodded. “It’s an enchanted door knocker that also functions as a key. So I guess our first hint is to see which of these buildings doesn’t have one on its door.”

Kaidan was right about Labyrinthian not being empty. A well camouflaged ice troll hooted and bound from around one of the small structures dotting the place when they decided to start with the closest and largest building. But Violet wasn’t in the mood for horseshit before they even got inside, and promptly set a fire rune in its path to explode it before Kaidan could even get off the horse.

“No. We’re not here to play in the fucking snow. Do you want to go up and check, or should I?”

He frowned at the back of her head. “I’ll do it. You can stay here and see if that letter gives us any more information.”

Violet nodded and handed him the iron ring once he’d dismounted. Once he had started up the stupid amount of stairs, she unfolded the letter.

Master Starfall,

I truly hoped that it wasn’t true; that my actions weren't coming back to haunt me. I initially thought you were simply another visitor; but I see now from Ancano’s initial reactions that I should have paid more attention. And then, when you brought back that mysterious artifact and called it the Eye of Magnus, I knew it was already too late. I know the Staff of Magnus. I know where it is. I once tried to wield it.

But I was not worthy, and in my shame, I created a disaster so horrible that I sealed the entire thing away and kept the key. You now have that key. And you will likely find that the disaster is still in progress, or worse, close to escaping. It pained me every day, knowing it is still there, waiting, and I was still too weak to stop it.

But you, my dear, are truly worthy. You are a master the likes I’ve not seen in over a century, maybe more. An archmage in your own right, of that, I am sure. Enough to have garnered the attention of the Psijic Order! But more importantly, you are chosen by the gods. I know that you’ve come here to find a way away from that duty, but for all your pain, you are still nobly drawn to protect what the Divines, and Magnus Himself, created. And we are grateful. You have done more for the college in the few days you were here than my entire tenure as Archmage. Whatever has drawn you down this path is likely just as important as whatever has created the need for a mortal with the soul of an immortal, and the power of Divines, Daedra (yes, I am aware of your contracts), and dragons.

As I likely will have died trying to avert this step of a crisis nearly two hundred years in the making, I can only hope you’ll forgive me for what is about to happen. But know that you will prevail where I could not. The faith of everyone at Winterhold, the college, and the Psijic Order is not misplaced.

Truly, I am sorry,

Savos Aren

“Oh,” she sighed and looked at the necklace he’d given her. That was enchanted as well, and feeling it out, was similar to the ugly necklace of teeth she’d found in Saarthal, but far more powerful in magnitude. A delicate silver chain held a silver medallion of runes carved around a deep blue sapphire, and the college seal was engraved into the back. She put it on and slipped it under her tunic. ‘So part of this is his fault, too.’

“Uh, Star? I think this is it,” Kaidan called down to her. “Did the Archmage say he would meet us here?!”

Notes:

(1) Live, dragon-woman!

Chapter 22

Summary:

What a ripoff, there isn't even a goblin king here.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Violet dismounted and took her time going up the stairs; everything still felt dull and heavy. At the top, Kaidan was standing with an entire group of ghosts, with Savos staring at her expectantly.

“After all that, you mean to haunt me, too?” she sighed.

The ghost winced, but tried his best to explain. “No, Starfall. At least, I didn’t mean to wind up here. But it seems my actions here have cursed and bound me to this place. I deserve the irony, really. I spent my whole life running way from everything that happened here, and now it is my final resting place. If it can even be called resting.”

Then the ghosts in front of the giant arched doors spoke up. The one in front of the door was an even younger version of the archmage, long before he’d even thought of the position.

“Come on, we’re finally here! Let’s not waste any more time,” the younger Savos shouted impatiently.

An Argonian woman kept fidgeting and looking back and forth between him and the doors. “Are we truly sure this is a good idea?”

The little group of (Violet guessed very stupid, inexperienced, and soon to be very dead) mages went back and forth for a while about breaking into a millennia old ruin full of very likely to be cursed, undead horseshit, but eventually everyone was peer pressured into going in. And with that, they disappeared inside.

“There were six of us. Full of ambition, eager to conquer the world. It was Atmah’s idea to come here, at first. She talked me into it, and I convinced the others. We were sure we’d find it all here, hidden away from time. Power, knowledge… All the things we didn’t want to wait for. We thought it would be so simple.” Elder Savos shook his head.

“As if everything weren't terrible enough.” Violet rubbed her face, turned around, and went to attend to Tiku. The strange little shelter that had the troll in it made for a good stable, and she warded it to keep Tiku safe in case there were more of them lurking around. A quick scan with her Detect Life spell showed there were some far off on the other side of the stone settlement. Hopefully they’d stay on that side. Kaidan slid the enchanted door knocker up into the hinge where it clicked, locked into place, and parted the arched doorway for them.

*

The front hall of Labyrinthian was already littered with skeletons as soon as they entered. It looked like they’d been chased back to the front door but couldn’t get out.

“Wow, didn’t even make it through the first room, huh? None of you even had to deal with the fucking whispering.” Violet would have side-eyed Elder Savos, except he'd gone missing.

“Kind of like Mzulft, then, but you’ll actually get something interesting at the end,” Kaidan said and nudged someone out of the way with his boot.

“Maybe we’ve been kind of spoiled by my power.” She knelt down and poked at some of them for clues as to what was ahead.

“Oh, definitely,” Kaidan scoffed. “Been chased out of these places more than I’d care to admit, on my own. Nearly lost my eyebrows once to some undead bastard setting off a fire trap for me. And the damn ambushes…”

She studied his face for a moment. “You need those.”

Kaidan shook his head. “Just tell me if you need to rest, or if something doesn’t feel right.”

They took a look around the front hall, and when Starfall gasped loudly, Kaidan rushed over. “What’s wrong?!”

She’d already cracked the old, dusty book open and sat on the offering table to read.

He raked his hand down his face. “See, this is probably how those other ones died. They got distracted by the ancient tome of forbidden knowledge, and only noticed they were being cleaved in two when they couldn't turn the page ‘cause their arm was off.”

“Keep watch. This is important,” she mumbled.

“What, like a diary or instructions?”

“No.”

“Starfall. This is an emergency. And we need to go before that spell breaks down and you lose your mind, again.”

She finally managed to pull herself out of the book and hopped down. “I understand. But this is something that I’ve been looking for and meaning to acquire for a very long time. You keep an eye out, I’ll follow you.”

“I… fine, then.” It was better than being stuck in the vestibule when they had ages to go.

They moved down deep into the earth and quickly came up against a locked gate leading into a strangely empty and incredibly massive room. The other Nordic places they’d been to usually had paved floors unless the place cut through a cave, but this place had a carved and embellished ceiling and a lumpy, unpaved, dirt floor.

“Oi, Star. Something about that room isn’t right. Can you sense anything in there?” Kaidan stopped her and tried to figure out what kind of trap it was.

Violet grumbled and stuck her finger in her book as a bookmark, then looked around the room. “What on Nirn?”

She tried her Detect Life, and there was nothing, which was expected. But Detect Death made her hiss and back away. “Sssshit. It’s a mass grave. And there’s a whole godsdamned dragon in there.”

“Eugh. And you just know the second we disturb the floor everything’s going to wake up.” Kaidan paced back and forth in thought for a few minutes. “If you reach through the bars, can you put down your traps?”

“I can do that, yes, but the best runes that I can put down to clear out that many undead are fire and light. Both cause explosions. Can you handle that?”

He frowned, but gave in. “If I stay out of the way, yes.”

“Stick close to me, then? I think that might be better. Especially since I’m probably going to be even more sluggish and clumsy than usual,” she huffed and put her new book away.

“I’ll cover your back.”

Kaidan went over to the pull-chain to open the door and waited for Starfall to set her traps. Golden lines and runes wove all around the room, with the largest one positioned over the dragon shaped light nestled deep into a stone mound. When she gave the okay, he raised the gate and they rushed in.

And just as they predicted, running over the mounds of dirt woke up hordes of undead clawing out of the earth. A skeletal dragon crawled out of the largest one, and yet, it never gained flesh and blood. As the dead all emerged, they tore the threads and runes that Violet had put down, and a chain of explosions lit up the room and nearly blinded her and Kaidan.

“So, which do you want, the leftover skeletons or the dragon?!” Violet blinked out the spots in her eyes.

“Already said I wasn’t getting your souls for you,” he smirked and rushed off into the few remaining skeletons. Somehow despite blowing up well over a dozen of them including several trailing the dragon, there were still plenty left.

“Damn,” Violet grunted. The giant restorative trap she’d laid for it took a leg, its tail, and most of one wing, but being already dead, it wasn’t deterred. And then it opened its mouth. She put her larger shield up just in time, but the sustained ice breath made the entire room shake and parts of the ceiling come down.

“Huh. Not fire breath. And can use shouts with no flesh. I wonder if it’s commanding the humans,” she thought as she waited for it to run out of breath. If it would, what with it not having lungs. This was too complicated for her when she would happily burn the entire place down all at once just to get another good sleep in.

“Focus!” Kaidan reminded her as he bashed his way through the skeletons. They tried to surround him, but that just made them easier to sideswipe. Dodging small bits of the ceiling coming down made sure it wasn’t too easy.

“Trying, here. Mind your eyes.”

Kaidan had just enough time to shield his eyes before another flash of bright light filled the room. The skeletal dragon caught fire easily and it spread as if it were doused in oil. That seemed to bother it enough that it stopped attacking her and started to flail and kick up dirt trying to put itself out, but it was no good. It collapsed into a heap of charred bones, and to answer Violet’s question, the remaining two skeletal archers hiding on the other side of the room did, too.

“There,” Violet sighed. Maybe the soul would refresh her a bit. In fact, she probably really should have been keeping better track of that since she’d been bedridden for a few weeks.

They stood there waiting for several minutes, but nothing happened.

“Uhh, have you ever not gotten a soul from a dead dragon before?” Kaidan went over to inspect it and see if he wanted any pieces. He’d used up all his good arrows on Kahvozein.

“There’s the one that Savos and Mirabelle fought, but I’ve also never fought a skeletal one. Then again, Kahvozein was undead, and I got a soul from it. Well, that was incredibly disappointing. Like a yawn that doesn’t go anywhere…” And she tried to prove her point, which only made her annoyed.

“Don't do that. I’ve had even less sleep than you, you know.” Except it was too late and he had to shudder himself alert.

She tried again and yawned her, “Sorry.”

“Tch. Come on.”

Younger Savos’s group didn’t fare half as well. They all stood in a circle in a tiny adjoining room, all panicked and arguing.

“We… we have to go back. We can’t leave Girduin!” The Dunmer woman said.

The Nord man scoffed at her. “We barely made it out alive, and you want to go back in?!”

A Redguard woman was near panic. “It’s too late. There isn’t enough of him left to go back in after!”

“You must be the one that I reminded Savos reminded of.” Violet raised her eyebrow at the foolhardy woman who’d led them all to their doom. She walked around the ghost, but couldn’t divine anything useful.

The group’s creeping panic continued on for a while, not that Violet or Kaidan really cared much. The end result was apparent enough. Everyone died save for Savos, and to some horrible thing he only barely escaped from. Then he locked the place after himself and kept the key. Violet walked through them and read the plaque in the middle of the room for clues.

Hail All - Brave City Bromjunaar

Forever These Walls Shall Stand

May Enemies See Her Majesty

May All Quake to Behold Her

“Until the place collapses into ruins in a few thousand years,” she said and unbarred the double doors.

*

The air in this new section was different. Upstairs, there was still fresh air coming in from the roof. This was stuffy, wet, and moldy.

“Ugh, might have to rush through this part. Like the undead aren’t rank enough—”

“WO MEYZ WAH DII VUL JUNAAR?” (1) an ancient, gravelly voice bellowed.

Violet sucked through her teeth and clung to Kaidan's side while the room spun and rocked.

“What?!” Kaidan got a better hold of her right before her knees buckled.

“The fuck was that?!”

All the noise woke a draugr from his alcove, and Kaidan had to drop Starfall on the floor so he could block the two rusty war axes aimed at his head.

Violet raised her hand intending to jam a lance through its legs, but nothing came. “Oh gods, no.”

“Star?!”

“I can’t cast magic! It’s all gone!” Panic quickly welled up in her chest.

“Shit!” Kaidan parried the axes, threw the draugr off balance, and quickly cut it in half down the middle. “Was it that shout? But that sounded like a question, and none of those words were Words of Power.”

Even when she’d completely run out of magicka fighting Beinaarkh and when she was captured by the Thalmor, she still had the reassurance that it still existed, and if not in her, then around her. This felt like… what she assumed being truly mortal felt like. “Is this what it’s like?!”

“I… I don't know.” He honestly hadn’t felt anything except the rumble through his body by the intensity of the noise itself. “What if you tried one of your potions and water?”

Violet looked up at him for reassurance and to try and bring herself back from panic. She nodded, then dug around in her pack. While she was recuperating, Kaidan checked the rest of the room. There didn’t seem to be any other threats, but the way forward was frozen shut.

“I can try to build a fire under that door, but I have a feeling that all this is built for someone like you and Savos, not me.”

She was still deep in her waterskin and potions. After a few more minutes, she calmed down considerably and rubbed her face. “It was definitely thu’um. But to have such an effect without actually saying a spell?”

Kaidan held his hand out and pulled her to her feet. “You're more knowledgeable about this business than me.”

She shrugged, then made a little magelight and snuffed it, made an ice spear and pitched it at the wall, then changed her skin back to ebony. That made her a little dizzy, but at least it worked at all. Anything stronger would likely be out of her reach for a while, plus Kaidan was too close. “That was some horseshit. Where the hell is Savos? What did he seal down here?!”

“A terrible mistake. And yet, that wasn’t enough to make us turn back. We were surrounded and locked in, anyway,” the archmage said as if he’d been summoned.

“Stop being vague. I’m too tired for vague. What is down here? How were you too stupid to turn around after what just happened?”

“Are you going to leave?” Savos’s eyebrow went up.

“I can't,” Violet said slowly. “You know that.”

“Even though he’s dead.” Kaidan grabbed a book in a corner and lit it before Star could notice and waste more time with it. It turned out that the ice blocking the door was enchanted. Normal fire did nothing except make him groan.

“I’m alright now. Let me try,” she said. Dim orange flames poured like water from her outstretched palms onto largest piece of ice at the base of the door. She was so focused on watching the ice melt that she didn’t see the two ghostly hands reach through the middle of the door and grab her wrists.

Kaidan hissed and without thinking, tried to put his sword through it, which did nothing but chip a piece of the ice off of the door and put a crack in it. Starfall, however, nearly had a heart attack, twisted her hands around, and blasted them with enough white-hot fire that both the ghost and the door melted. Kaidan stumbled backwards away from her and clutched his own chest.

“Fuck!” Violet shrieked and clung to Kaidan’s side. “Fuck this place with a cactus!”

His eyebrow went up. “Is… is that some kind of desert saying?!”

“Shut up!” It took another minute for her to start breathing again. “I was not expecting that. Too much today. Too much…”

“Yeah,” he laughed dryly. “And we’ve only been in here for about an hour. Don’t think we’ve even gotten to the actual labyrinth part, yet.”

She shuddered deeply at that. A city could definitely be a maze if you weren’t familiar with it, and ancient Nords didn’t know how to plan a city if their lives depended on it.

*

The path behind the door became strange after that. Haphazard, precarious ramps over a ravine with rushing water, and a lot of side paths to get lost in. Even though she was holding Kaidan's hand to navigate the narrow pathways, that mysterious voice shouted at them again, and Starfall screamed when both the height and the loss of magicka muddled her head.

Kaidan turned and pulled her close. “I got ye’. Not going to let ye’ fall.”

“He's just going to keep saying things at us, or rather me, the bastard.”

“Coward men… no mercy…”

Violet took a few seconds. “Cowardly men get no mercy here.”

“Good to know, I suppose.” Kaidan muttered.

“As if anyone’s ever found mercy in these zombie pits,” Violet scoffed. “Oh, and speaking of…”

The voice’s yelling also roused the regular draugr, and Kaidan had to run for a safer ledge so Starfall wouldn’t panic (even more). She didn’t want to waste every potion and drop of water if the lead ‘most likely an incredibly nasty draugr’ was going to keep trying to scare her off or drain her magicka or whatever he thought he was doing.

At least the regular draugr were now easily dispatched by a quick blessing of Kaidan’s sword. He’d have to pick up her slack since without wasting effort and supplies, her magicka regenerated very slowly.

“Oi, there’s a split here. One ramp crosses back over the pit several times all the way down, and the other way looks to go deeper into the caves here. Think I hear water at the bottom. Which way do you want to go?" Kaidan asked.

“It’d be nice if these places had maps at the door,” Violet said. “Honestly, I want to get out of here as quickly as possible, and it’s most likely that everything we’re looking for is at the bottom. I hate it, but let’s just get to the bottom of all this. …Urgh.”

He nodded. “As you wish.”

Unfortunately, whoever it was must’ve been able to see what they were doing, because he would choose the most inopportune times to drain her, usually while they were at most risk of falling to their deaths.

WHY DO YOU NOT ANSWER? MUST I USE THIS GUTTERAL LANGUAGE?!

Violet and Kaidan paused at that one. The draugr were supposed to be so old that they only spoke Dovahzul or Old Nord. If that’s what was down there. It had the gurgling hollow voice of one.

“Should I answer?” she whispered to Kaidan.

“No.” And they pressed on into the depths.

The bottom of the winding ledges and paths was a rushing stream, and while Violet knew Kaidan didn’t like her whining, she still had to comment as the ice-cold water sloshed up to her chest.

“Ugh, are we going to have to start swimming? I’m not going to be able to do that very well, nor have gills for very long,” she said.

“Maybe all this will drain once we open that door.”

AREN? HAVE YOU RETURNED, MY OLD FRIEND?

Had older Aren actually reappeared to them, they would have asked much more forcefully what exactly his little group had done a hundred years ago.

*

“How are you holding up? Drevis said that the spell he put on you to block out all the ‘everything’ from the Eye was only temporary.” After they’d cleared out a few skeletons and broke through a rusty gate with a bad lock, Kaidan found a little corner full of treasure where they could dry off and sit.

Violet checked for any more surprises nearby and sat on one of the chests. “It’s holding.”

“I want to ask what exactly you meant by everything, but I don’t want you to accidentally ‘open the doors and windows’ as he called it,” he said as he wrung out his cloak and drained his boots.

“I don't want that either. I wish I could explain it well enough to tell you though, other than if we don’t stop Ancano as soon as possible, everyone might be able to see ‘Everything’, and the aftermath will not be quick and painless. …Like you saw.”

“Oh.” His voice was lifeless and the exhaustion was starting to come through.

“Yeah.” Maybe food would help. She dug around in her pack and found a slightly stale sweet roll, then broke it in half and held it out to him.

“Good thing you’re at least tall enough to hold your pack out of the water.” He took it gratefully and watched her scrape off the frosting. “Wait, why are you getting rid of the best part?”

“Because it has a weird aftertaste when it’s old.”

He shook his head. “…Weird.”

“We established that early on, yes. Anyway, are you alright? At this point, you probably need sleep more than me.”

“This isn't the best place to try. At least in Mzulft there were lockable doors and a lot less water.”

“I guess. But that asshole keeps draining me and you’re running down; we’re going to run up against some serious trouble sooner or later. Especially since it seems that Savos really riled this thing up and it could attack me even when we were near the top of this place.”

“Don’t really have much choice, then, but to do what you said and get out of here as quickly as possible. And you still have all the new things you learned from the Augur if worse comes to worst.”

She shuddered. “I guess. Don’t much like using them. …And I don't think you like it much, either.”

Kaidan thought on it over his snack. “It’s not horrible, or painful, really. Just, overwhelming. Taking both your good and your bad. Powerful, but almost too much. Just wish I could, I don't know, have less. Make it a bonfire instead of a forest fire.” And if he mentioned that he could feel that Hunger and Darkness at the edge of everything, she’d definitely get scared.

“I’ll have to do research. I know you don’t like the thought of being experimented on. I’ll try to figure something out. Maybe do as much as I can on paper and have you figure out what you want from that. But in the meantime, I can use the much weaker spell that Drevis showed me, if you want.”

“And how much experience do you have with that one?” he asked suspiciously.

She didn’t look right at him. “Well, I have to start somewhere. You didn’t ask with the other one.”

“That one didn’t come from someone who constantly sees things that aren’t real,” he smirked.

“I… Kaidan. Whatever. Anyway, the spider spell worked.”

“You copied that out of a book.”

She could tell he was starting to wear down by how smart-mouthed he was starting to get. “Take a nap, sen lu’he. I’ll lock that other door and keep watch. Detect Life and Death don’t use hardly any magicka if I do small bursts, and I’ll come get you if something's wrong.”

Kaidan hesitated on listening, but quickly gave in and used his pack as a headrest, while Starfall slipped away, but not too far.

*

The nap helped well enough. Starfall let him sleep a little more than he wanted, but he must’ve truly been that tired to not wake up on his own. There was a dead draugr at the end of the hall they had hidden in, but she’d also deposited another small pile of treasure between their packs. Bits of gold, precious metals and gems, a scroll, a short, ugly ceremonial dagger (‘why on Nirn does she want that?’) and yet another spell book, though it looked like she had used the break to go back to her first one.

“Lu’he,” she grinned mischievously.

“What?” he yawned and stretched.

She pointed at one of the funerary tokens in the pile, and it stood up on its edge and started rolling around.

‘Oh gods, no.’ He stared back and forth between the coin and her slightly unnerving expression. “That’s… great?”

Without touching him, she gently pulled his cloak hood over his face, and he sighed heavily into it. “Star.”

“Yes, I know, but this opens up a lot of possibilities, later.”

‘For tormenting me.’ Kaidan pulled his hood back. “Aren’t you supposed to be conserving your magicka because that draugr or whatever keeps stealing it? Also, this isn’t you becoming extra strange from not sleeping or having a dragon soul, is it?”

“Probably, and probably.” The coin flipped itself in the air.

He shook his head and packed everything up. “Let’s get this over with.”

*

They didn't get very far following the water; it led to a slight drop off, though there was another door at the bottom, so it was likely the right way.

“Don’t suppose your little parlor trick could lower us down there?” Kaidan asked.

“You’re too heavy.” At least, starting out, he was. Maybe if she continuously trained it…

For that, he simply grabbed her and jumped. It wasn’t that far, anyway; even less than the portal she’d misplaced the previous day. He set her down and used her shoulder to pull himself up from crouching. She was shaking like a leaf.

“Fuck y— …Please stop doing that, Kaidan,” Violet shuddered deeply and held her stomach.

He patted her head. “Our other options were to either wait for you to get over your fear so I could catch you, or walk back and up and around and down through this actual labyrinth hoping to find another way. I saved us what would likely be a couple of hours, either way.”

“You can walk around with crunchy knees for a bit, for that.”

Another wave of pain echoed around the room. “DO YOU SEEK TO FINISH THAT WHICH YOU COULD NOT?”

“OH, FUCK YOU, TOO!” she shouted and swooned at the echo hitting the back of her head.

“Starfall, don't—”

You... You are not Aren, are you? Has he sent you in his place?” The voice became suspicious and amused.

“Shite,” Kaidan muttered and pinched between his eyebrows.

“What difference does it make? He’d figure it out sooner or later,” she shrugged. As tempted as she was to dip into her potions, it still felt like they weren’t anywhere near, and now she’d definitely drawn that thing's attention. “Where the hell did Savos go, anyway? We haven’t watched someone get brutally murdered by their own hubris in several hours.”

The tight hallways and narrow paths gave way to a series of giant, open, interconnected chambers. They weren't expecting them to be occupied by anything living, and definitely not a troll this far down. Trolls usually lived in higher altitudes or forest caves. Violet still wasn’t having it, but her low magicka told her, yes she was. The troll caught fire, but didn’t explode. That just made it angry enough to charge them.

Kaidan was feeling a bit better, though, and used the stairs they were on to his advantage, taking the troll’s head off as it was bounding up towards them. He kicked the body down the stairs, and it was kind enough to land pointing at another cache of treasure in the corner. This place was certainly the size of a city, but definitely not laid out like one. And why did the Nords so frequently build underground as if they were Dwarves?

As big as the place was, it was suspiciously stuffy and eerie. And dark. And creepy even without the troll with its too many, beady, little eyes. Smoke filled the place from several braziers, which covered an arrow wedging itself into Violet’s belly. Kaidan ran in front of her since he wasn’t allowed to physically move her anymore, and returned fire in the direction the arrow had come.

“Oi, can you blow the smoke away, or make them visible somehow?” The ‘ow’ part was emphasized as another arrow struck him in the arm from somewhere below them. He quickly drew them back to the narrow hallway.

“Don’t blink, and don't try to look at me, just look for them because this won’t last but a few seconds,’ she said and placed the spells for Detect Life and Death into the back of his head.

Blue flames abnormally shaped like humanoids started skittering around his field of vision, and just as he honed in on them, the spell ended. But it was enough. Two arrows went below him and made a sharp cracking sound, one was up on what must have been a bridge, and the last one was hiding in a hallway off to the side.

“So that’s what you mean by flames.” He blinked out of reflex as it left slight ghosting in his vision.

“More or less.”

“…Why did you tell me not to look at you?” He also remembered that Drevis said that he was afraid of her inner form.

“I already told you; it would only last a few seconds,” she lied, but not really.

He decided not to press. Her head was already in a precarious state and he was lucky she didn’t start crying after he’d scared her a few minutes prior. They made their way down again, and after fighting with a rusty lever, a barred gate came down and opened the way to a thoroughfare. It was so silent that Violet heard several light whooshing and hissing sounds nearby.

“Something is here,” she whispered.

They stayed tight to the wall and peeked around the corner. It was a very large graveyard.

Notes:

(1) “Who comes to my dark kingdom?”

Chapter 23

Summary:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJ7QHbxNgJQ

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Another bunch of draugr?” Kaidan asked her.

“Or skeletons, since they’re buried. And little wisps?” Violet wasn't sure why they were there. Wisps were supposed to be magical, not undead. But this whole place was cursed several times over…

“Wisps? Can you see if there’s anything else with your spells? Or maybe hear?” If there were wisps floating around, then there was a bad possibility for something else.

“Hmm. I hear the wisps, but they’re being too noisy if there’s anything else.”

“Let’s go have a look, then.”

The graveyard felt out of place in the giant pit, but it also meant that they had hopefully reached the bottom of the city and the end. Savos hadn't come back to tell them anything in a long while, and neither of them could figure whether that was good or bad. Maybe he was too frightened to get any closer to whatever he'd locked down here. Violet and Kaidan stayed at the far side of the room so as not to walk over the graves, and found the wisps aimlessly wandering among the tall, narrow headstones. When she tried to lure one, it ignored both her, her magelight, and a small flame she intentionally missed flicking in its direction.

Kaidan stopped Starfall and pointed to the front end of the area. There was some sort of platform full of coffins with a ghostly woman gliding between them. He frowned and pulled her back.

“A wispmother. She’s an ice spirit, like the wraiths. But even more annoying, and she best responds to fire,” Kaidan said.

“Here, then. Before I get attacked again. Which weapon?”

She made a small, sparking, storm cloud in her palm, and Kaidan held out his sword. It took on a white glow.

“I’ll keep the Wispmother busy, you take care of the wisps.”

Kaidan used the headstones as cover, and made his way up to the platform. Instead of the wispmother rushing him, the wisps all woke up and surrounded him. Starfall was right behind him though, and lightning chained back and forth between the wisps, reducing them to inert crystals.

“Go on!” Violet didn’t have much left after that, but she kept an eye out for any other trouble. She wondered if she’d be able to cast anything at all if Savos hadn’t given her his amulet that made her less wasteful with spell formation, and almost laughed when she remembered the Augur telling her she already had enough within herself.

As soon as Kaidan caught up with the ethereal looking woman and slashed down her front, she screeched and made four decoys of herself. He hated this part, though Starfall had done more than she realized; the wispmother couldn’t copy the static and lightning. She was still sparking, and if he could finish her quick enough, the others would disappear as well. He pushed past the decoys after the original, but before he could reach her, the lightning crawling all over her burst and threw him backwards. The decoys all around him screeched and disappeared at the same time.

“Oi, maybe a little warning next time?!” Kaidan sat up and saw Starfall peeking from behind one of the gravestones below.

“Sorry, didn’t know you were just going to skip all the extra ones of her,” she said.

“And you spent yourself up doing that, didn’t you?” he frowned, knowing full well she usually had terrible self-control.

She sighed, “Don’t worry about it,” then made her way up to the platform to look around. More funerary tokens likely for whoever would have been buried there next. The wispmother was just a pile of slime and some completely weightless and almost see-through cloth. Violet thought the cloth was interesting at least and carefully folded it into her bag.

*

There was another one of those sealed doors locked with a curse of fire this time, but Starfall was ready and stood a good distance away. Ice and slush swirled around the door but the draining voice haunting them thought to interrupt her before it fully unlocked.

DID HE WARN YOU THAT YOUR OWN POWER WOULD BE YOUR UNDOING? THAT IT WOULD ONLY SERVE TO STRENGTHEN ME?” he laughed.

“Dear gods, shut the fuck up, already…” Violet whined and slumped against the wall. Now they’d have to wait for her magicka and energy to come back to even get through a simple door.

“I don’t like the part where he said you’re feeding his power,” Kaidan said.

Violet only groaned and dug around in her bag. They were really close now to the memorial wall and that headache that had been bothering her for days was now like someone lifted the top of her skull off and was mushing their hand around on her brain.

He knelt down beside her. “Are you going to be alright?”

“Don’t have a choice. Just have to dull the pain enough to move,” she said as she pulled two vials out and took them at the same time. She mixed them in her mouth and swallowed quick, then hissed like there was a lot of bad liquor behind it. “Oh, this new one does not go down easy.”

“So much for improving them,” he huffed.

“That was the improvement. No nausea.”

“Keep working on the poison antidotes, next.”

Once she had her strength back and actually opened the cursed fire door, they were treated to another scene of younger Savos and his friends being picked off. There was genuine panic among them now, and Savos had to lie his tongue into a fork to get the Redguard, Argonian, and Nord to not attempt to spend another two days going back and drawing out their inevitable demise even more.

The Redguard woman was in tears. “This is all my fault. Should we turn around, head back?”

The Nord man was shaking and splashed with blood, and considering everything else down there was already dead, it was likely his. “I don't think going back is a good idea.”

“Going back would be the end of all of us. We keep pushing forward, and we'll make it. We will!” Savos shouted and put his hand to her shoulder.

“Come on, you can make it. Let’s go,” the Redguard woman’s voice was broken and empty, but she put her hands on the Argonian woman’s shoulders to push her forward.

“I don't even remember what killed Elvali. One of the countless faceless horrors. I think she was glad, in that final moment. Hafnar’s stupid Nord pride wouldn't let him admit defeat. I… I don't know why I pressed the others on, convinced them to keep going. ‘If we can just make it through, it’ll all be worth it’, I told them. And the fools believed the words I myself didn’t trust,” Elder Savos appeared behind them and sighed.

Violet and Kaidan didn’t really care much before, but now these scenes (combined with how badly Violet was faring) were wearing them down.

“If you’re not going to be helpful, go the fuck away. We don’t need a guided tour of your regret.” Violet turned and left the room, then nearly screamed as a large, barking, ghost dog and its master charged down the hallway at her.

She backpedaled quickly back into the previous room and tried to fill the hall with lightning. The flash lasted only a second, but stunned them both.

“DOG!” Violet hissed.

Kaidan raised his eyebrow at her. The dog was the problem, here?! He ran around her while the ghosts were still stunned, and slashed his lightning sword through them to finish them off.

“You don’t like dogs.”

She only turned and started smashing her head and fists on the wall.

“Stop that. You just took medicine so your head would stop hurting.”

“Horrible, noisy, stinking, unclean beasts,” she shuddered.

He rubbed his forehead. “It wasn't even alive, Starfall.”

“So just horrible and noisy, then.” She sidled past it as if it would get back up and bite her, then led him down the winding tunnels.

There were more of the strange, glowing draugr as they went deeper into the pit. They didn’t look like any ghosts either of them had seen before, and were confused at how solid they were. They still died the same as regular draugr, and Kaidan was even able to pick up one’s greataxe. It almost resembled Starfall’s Daedric weapons, but didn’t need anyone to touch it to stay on that plane. When she appraised it, she said it had the power to drain life energy and return it to the user.

“Hmm. A bit on the ugly side, but might come in handy.” It felt weird strapping the ghostly weapon to his back with leather straps, but it worked. Magic.

Approaching the giant iron door set in a pit knocked her down.

COME, THEN. FACE YOUR END.

Starfall lay on the floor and stared at the ceiling until Kaidan came and stood over her. “Come on, Star. If anything, sounds like he’s not so sure about himself anymore since we’re being so persistent.”

“I just need a minute. Tired, you know?”

“Yeah.”

“I think the sound of water getting louder is a good sign, though. Helps a little to concentrate on that instead of the chanting and the screaming as my magicka gets sucked out.”

*

Violet nearly cried when it turned out they still weren’t done. There was still more walking into the depths, and more corporeal ghosts and nasty dogs, and more traps. Kaidan nearly lost his eyebrows and the rest of his face again as a row of soul gems blasted fireballs all up and down a very long hallway. She had enough magicka to hold her aetherial shield up for a few seconds and shove him back up the stairs.

“This place goes on forever. I’m going to collapse it all when we’re done here. The only thing south of Morthal is going to be a snow-filled crater.” Violet was already fantasizing about the all the draugr and skeletons and Savos’s stupid ghosts all getting crushed to bonemeal and ectoplasm.

“I wholeheartedly agree, except for the fact that it would take a very long time and waste an incredible amount of magicka you don’t have.”

“It’d be worth it. Especially if I could lure the Thalmor down here, too.”

Kaidan shook his head and took over for the next part, since Starfall wasn’t able to reach that far out with her new spell. Keeping low and using every inch of cover available, he shot at each of the traps and used nearly all of his arrows knocking the tiny gems off their stands. Once on the floor, they lost all their power and he was able to pick them and his arrows up.

“The chanting is so loud. We’re close, finally.” She wanted to get through it as quick as possible, but there was a locked gate on a side hall and Kaidan was curious about something inside it.

“What are they saying?” he asked as Starfall poked at the old lock.

“Shhh.” Trying to pick the lock while her head was throbbing was a nightmare. “This better be worth it.”

Inside were a helmet and sword both wedged into the bright coals of a brazier.

“You wanted a half-burnt helm and sword?” Violet grumbled.

He didn’t know why it mattered that the helm looked like a crown of dragon horns and teeth, but he was drawn to them, and was able to easily pick them out of the fire without being burned. He held it out to her to show her it was cool to the touch, and she felt at it.

“…It's ugly as shit, but you’re now the king of fire immunity. Congratulations.” She handed it back and went back to trudging towards the chanting.

“Sorry, Star. No more distractions.” He put it on, and snickered when Starfall winced at it. “You really hate all Nord fashion, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do.”

The large double doors around the corner said, “MOROKEI”.

“‘Glorious’. Now we have an incredibly pretentious name, to a smug fuck of a voice.” Violet squinted at it and leaned heavily on the door, nearly falling through as another wave of pain hit her. Morokei didn’t even say anything that time; he did it without shouting.

Do something so horrible to him that he will wish that Savos had killed him a hundred years ago.

Kaidan knelt down and helped her up. “I can see the memorial wall.”

Violet looked up at it for a moment and simply clung to him. “Help me. Please.”

He took a look around the room first, then whispered, “There’s someone on that throne.”

“You kill, I read,” she responded and tried his suggestion of lending her power, just less of it. The light from her was much smaller, mostly because that was all she had left.

She pushed off of him, shoving him towards the throne, while she stumbled off to the side down the stairs. Just as she heard the draugr growl in surprise and the clash of metal, she dropped to her knees.

VEGUNTHAR WAHLAAN QETHSEGOL

BORMAHIL VAHRUKT HUNGUNTHAR

TIID NAAK KRIAAN SE

JUNNESEJER KRONIID SE DUNKREATH.

TIID. TIME.

And now there is no need to hesitate.

*

This, Kaidan could deal with. He just wished it hadn’t come at the cost of poor Star’s health. A burst of strength, but not the need to destroy. A lot less tired, but not the need to run around like a jittery rabbit. Seeing slight changes in the world, but not nearly hallucinating. Could still do without the cold mildew and rot all around assaulting his nose and Star nearly deafening him as if she were right next to his ear. But his still sparking sword cut through the glowing draugr’s neck before it could even open its mouth. Like Star had said outside, ‘we’re not here to play’. The darkness that he'd noticed at the edge of his vision in Mzulft and the college was barely a dimming of light.

“Kai…?” Violet coughed weakly.

He looked over the edge of the platform at her; she was sitting with her back against the word wall beside a small puddle of blood. “Rest a few minutes.”

“Think there’s a bunch of them around the corner, though. Ambush,” she mumbled. “At least the chanting is done. That’ll help some.”

Without getting too close, he took a look around. There was usually tribute near these things. On finding it, he saw what Star was talking about. A long hallway full of dark corners and tall columns. ‘Damn.’

“Can you see just how many there are? It’ll be annoying if I have half a dozen draugr shooting at me,” he asked.

“Not a lot. Don’t worry, I’ll help.”

He nodded. “If you say it’s not a lot. Anyway, what did you learn, this time?”

“You know how it was weird that I’m supposed to be the Blood of Akatosh but had no power over time?” she smirked.

Kaidan’s eyes went wide. “You’re kidding.”

“Don’t worry, I can’t do anything incredibly stupid like cause a rift that winds up muddling history. Unless I really get creative. Which, when I think about it, is actually sort of easy.”

“Don’t suppose you could roll all this back to about a month and a half ago?”

“Gods, I fuckin’ wish.” Violet rubbed her face with both hands. “No. Just to give myself a few crucial moments just like my other shouts and spells.”

“Just enough to turn the tides of war.” He came and sat beside her as her spell on him ran out, and she leaned on his side.

“Have I mentioned I hate that thing?”

His eyes rolled up in his head. “You keep bothering me about not wearing a helmet. Well, I found one with a good enchantment. Not all of us have a magic spell to sprout horns and scales.”

If she had a lot more energy and magicka, and a lot less worry about him panicking about being turned into a monster, that would have been the time to let him see what it was like. Instead, “Ugh. Fine. Keep the damn thing.”

“What if I only wear it when we’re someplace dangerous and the threat of being set on fire either by you or a trap is imminent?”

“Sure.” She knew it was so incredibly dangerous to doze off when there were a group of undead sleeping not more than twenty feet ahead of them, but it just felt like the least of her problems. “Just gonna rest my eyes.”

“Ten minutes.”

“Sure.”

*

The ten minutes was enough for Violet to get most of her magicka back, and she used it to place a small, but concentrated light ward on the ground. Kaidan ran through and drew them out, carefully backing towards the far door and over the ward. The two ghostly draugr were blown apart, and the other two were skeletons that were easily smashed all over the room.

“I wish watching them explode made me feel better.” Violet frowned at the mess of bones and glowing dust.

“Yeah.”

Then she took a few steps towards the door and leaned heavily on it when her magicka was drained again. “I think it happens whenever I get near a door. They're all cursed like the fire and ice ones.”

He came over to prop her up. “How long have we been down here? And how deep down are we?”

“Long enough that I’m starting to lose track of what’s real. And deep enough to pass two graves deep enough to bury dozens of people and one dragon. Never been to a vertical city before. Dragonstar is partially in a mountain, but only a small part because of the mines,” she said.

“Markarth is vertical. Not that we got to see any of it. And if you need it, Drevis gave me a scroll that’ll recast that spell he put on you. Unsure how long a scroll will last versus him doing it directly, though.”

“Not quite yet. It’s more that I’m running on drugs, spite, and hatred instead of sleep and food. I’m still sane enough.”

‘That's not something a sane person does,’ he sighed. “Don’t really have any choice but to take your word for it.”

*

Soon, they found the final fate of the Labyrinthian expedition. When the large double doors opened up, directly above them were two ghostly mages; they were trapped in an enthralling spell and creating a containment ward around Morokei.

“He’s… he’s a lich…” Violet started shivering. ‘Gods, not again. Please…’

“Not quite. I researched this place extensively when I escaped, in the hopes that I could find a way to release Atmah and Hafnar. He's what's called a Dragon Priest,” Elder Savos said. “They do not have the dragon blood, but they have the dragons’ blessings and protection, which includes this stunted form of immortality. And that's not including what he can do with the Staff of Magnus. Even after becoming archmage, I could not find a way to free them without also releasing him.”

“Ssssshhhit!” The relief of hearing that that undead monster wasn't a lich was quickly crushed by the thought of having to fight something that was not only as powerful as her, but had been stealing her power over and over.

“They haven't noticed us, yet. We have a moment to come up with something.” Kaidan whispered and pulled her back from the door.

“I can bless your weapons with light; they’re all types of undead, just not the worst types of undead. The mages, they’re holding him. And finally freeing them will free the dragon priest,” Violet said.

“Do you need me to stall him?”

“I don't know which shouts he has, other than whatever was draining me, but I think you should stay away from him and help pick him off. …Yes. That. Kaidan, you put Atmah and Hafnar out of their misery. Start with the one on the far side. …Gods, Savos, what the fuck. Then I’ll deal with that monster and get the staff. I think I know how to do this. I need you as far as possible from that pool in the middle when that shield disappears.” Violet took a deep, shaky breath and rubbed her sleeve over her face.

After preparing by passing around spells and potions, they ran in and immediately split up. Kaidan ran up the stairs to the two enthralled mages, and Violet went up to the long platform where Morokei was trapped. Even as she approached the large shield of the containment ward, it seemed that the dragon priest couldn't move to acknowledge her.

Savos said Morokei wasn't a lich, but he had a similar death mask on. This one was strangely angular instead of a recreation of his face, and made of carved moonstone and silver. His glowing blue eyes did follow her as she stalked around him. Not a lich. Just another draugr. Who happened to be clutching a staff that operated the prototype archive for all of Creation. It was polished gold, carved with simple curves, waves, and lines, and had two shining, blue, crystal foci on the ends that contained multitudes of stars. She was going to use it to break Ancano’s fucking kneecaps, then his fingers, and then his skull.

“I’m going to free you, now.” Violet said slowly.

Morokei only leered at her.

“No big dragon words for me? No more taunting and threats? Okay. This one’s for Savos and all his stupid-ass friends.” And her wide grin and wild, pitch-black eyes made Morokei’s eyes widen.

*

Kaidan stood over Atmah and brought out his sword. She knew he was there, but didn’t or couldn't turn around. She could only keep working on the spell that the archmage had cursed her with.

“Did Savos finally come back for us?” she asked. Her voice was empty, exhausted, and broken.

Kaidan winced. “In a way.”

“I want to go home,” she whispered.

He gave them a moment’s prayer, then banished her quickly by removing her head. Starfall’s restoration enchantment made it actually work. Atmah didn’t even react, she just dissolved into a cloud of mist.

As Kaidan went up to Hafnar, he glanced over to see if Starfall was alright. Morokei was still in his bubble, though it now flickered like it would pop any second. Starfall was studying him like one of her experiments.

With Atmah banished, Hafnar was struggling badly to hold the containment spell. “Why? I can’t… hold this by… myself.”

“You won’t have to, anymore,” he said.

“Thank y—” He didn't even get to finish.

When Hadvar disappeared, so did the spell. But Kaidan blinked at the bright flash and it was already over.

*

TIID WULD!”

The waterfall and pool on the far side of the room exploded and flashed blinding lightning, forcing him to cover his eyes. He carefully backed away from the ledge and got his bow out, but when the lights finally stopped, he couldn’t find either Starfall or the dragon priest. The entire room was one big cloud of steam. Then he realized why she wanted him as far away from that pool in the middle. He ran over to the other ledge where Atmah had been, looked down, and found Starfall stumbling out of the little pool, coughing up bloody water, gasping for air, sparking tiny arcs of lightning across her dragon scales, and looking half-stunned. The only things left of the dragon priest were his mask and staff in her fists.

“…Star?!”

“Fucker didn’t even get a whole second of freedom,” she cackled weakly and flopped over on the pool’s stairs.

Kaidan couldn’t help but stand there staring at her. “What… what did you do?!”

“Shhh,” she mumbled. “…drained.”

How could she have even done that with so much of her magicka gone? Was all that part of what the Augur taught her how to do? But she definitely shouted and used an elemental spell, which had nothing to do with her restoration spells. He finally found his legs, and ran down to her to make sure she was alright (for relative meanings of ‘alright’) and get her away from the water.

“Come on, then. Let's find somewhere you can dry off.” Kaidan waited for her to stop sparking, scooped her up in his arms, and took her to higher ground. There was a small room and hall away from the waterfall misting the entire place, then lit a small fire there to help dry her off.

After a while of resting, Violet was finally able to speak, though it was raspy. “Didn’t realize it would take that much out of me. Good thing it worked.”

“It happened so fast, I didn’t even see what you did!” Kaidan had put together that she'd said ‘time whirlwind’, but he wasn’t sure what that meant as a spell.

“Pause time for a few seconds. Use my Godform to give myself infinite magicka for a few minutes. Sprint tackle the stupid draugr into the water positioned directly under the opening in the cave. Electrify water using lightning from the open sky. Use infinite magicka to fortify aetheric shield. Time goes back to normal. Explode the draugr,” she said and waggled her eyebrows.

Even with part of her mind blocked off and her body drained over and over of energy and magicka, she was still absolutely terrifying. He ran his hand over his face and chuckled. “Dear gods, dovahdin.”

“Hey, this whole thing’s been even worse than Mzulft, it’s an emergency, we’re on a time limit, I’m tired of everyone’s horseshit, I want to go home, and I think it’s been a week now that we haven’t had a good night’s sleep.” Violet groaned and tried not to fall asleep then and there.

“You… you did that so easily… making fools of us all.” Elder Savos’s ghost appeared before them. “But you put everything to rest. And now they are free, but I’m still here… I suppose I can't escape what I did…”

Violet and Kaidan didn’t say anything; the adrenaline was wearing off and knowing they still had a ways to go killed any relief or accomplishment. Concern for this ghost’s feelings when the past several days had been his fault didn’t even cross their minds.

“I’m so sorry…” he sighed and faded away.

*

“So how is the Staff of Magnus enchanted to protect you from the Eye?” Kaidan found himself mesmerized by the glittering starlight reflecting off of the walls and ceiling. They’d packed up as much of Morokei’s tribute as they could and were dragging the burlap sacks through the dimly lit paths.

Violet looked deep into the top globe of the focus crystal. The tiny stars inside flickered and moved with purpose. Even though she couldn’t see or really feel all the tethers to the Eye of Magnus, the patterns inside the focus helped to calm her head and ease the pain. “It’s trying to organize all the things the Eye showed me yesterday, and the base enchantment seems to be able to absorb all magicka and matter, then break it down for me to use as either life energy or magnified spellcasting. Other than that, I don’t know what it does exactly because I don’t have the Eye, and I won’t be able to get to it as long as Ancano lives.”

“Well, considering you just disintegrated a dragon priest in less than a second that had embarrassed an archmage, I’m not sure that bastard will be much of a problem.” Kaidan muttered and wrestled with another rusted lever.

“I don't think I have enough left in me to pull that trick again, Kai. Unless we sneak back home and I can grab quick nap for about a week,” she groaned and leaned heavily on the staff. “Actually, I think you might have to take over, at least until we get back to Winterhold.”

‘Even so, I absolutely will not try to engage in a fair fight with either of you.’ Estormo waited quietly in the shadows for the gate to open. Starfall walked far enough ahead to get distracted by the small pile of treasure he’d laid out on one of the offering tables.

Kaidan had barely made it through the doorway before all the fatigue of the past week hit him at once, and suddenly, he couldn’t keep upright. Only when it was too late did he notice that his shadow had distorted out of shape. “St—”

An elven dagger was well into his throat to silence him permanently when Estormo heard Starfall hissing. ‘Well, at least her voice is gone so I won't be shouted to pieces.’

“…YOU,” she tried to growl but it broke down into coughing.

“I know. I didn't want it to be this way either, to be completely honest,” Estormo said cordially while dumping Kaidan on the floor. “Yes, Ancano is extremely dangerous. And I wish I had a better way to do this. But you? And what you just pulled? You’re even worse.”

One hand swirled with her healing fire, and the Staff of Magnus sparked with lightning. She hurled bolts at the Thalmor to get him away from Kaidan and tried to cough her words. “Nidbo, lu’he! Kos nahlot!” (1)

‘That’s not what you said a minute ago! Make up your mind!’ Kaidan struggled to breathe through the blood and healing fire filling his throat. He’d already lost enough blood that the stone floor rocked and the world felt cold and heavy. But if Starfall was having trouble even speaking and staying upright…

Estormo and all the dim candle lights in the room disappeared while Starfall was still healing Kaidan, and his voice echoed around the little chamber. “Give me the staff! I will take care of Ancano, myself!”

‘Fuck. Off. We don’t have time for your abject stupidity!’ The Staff of Magnus was starting to rattle and shake in her grip. While it was still bright enough to serve as a magelight, the stars inside made the room flicker and dazzle, making her head even more confused.

This time, Estormo refused to answer. Instead, another two knives flew from the dark and wedged into her hand and throat to make her drop the staff.

‘Why is everyone so eager to get in the way of me saving them?!’ Violet slammed her boot over it in case this idiot Thalmor tried to take it, then healed her throat and switched to her Life sight. He was using a muffle spell so even her ears weren’t going to cut it.

She turned around just in time to see his flame right behind her and about to grab her, probably to finish slitting her throat. She ducked down and dove away from him towards Kaidan, except he wasn’t where he was supposed to be. She didn’t have time to look for him, either. ‘Of course he didn’t listen!’

She was about to scream curses and use up what little magicka she’d gotten back by filling the room with ice, but before Estormo could throw the two electrified, enchanted knives in his hand, two very bright, raging red fires opened directly behind him. All Violet could see through the sparkling lights was that suddenly the elf’s head flew off and hit the wall in the far corner.

“Shame that was too fast for it to hurt, you son of a bitch,” Kaidan coughed and spat out the last bit of blood. The spectral greataxe’s enchantment finished the emergency healing job that Starfall had started on his throat.

Seeing Kaidan upright made her feel slightly better, if not slightly unsatisfied with him for not letting her finish the Thalmor off. “Kaidan, step away from him.” The Staff of Magnus flew across the room into her hand, and as soon as it was back in her grip, she put one hand on the top focus.

Dear gods, the noise as it ate through Estormo’s corpse to break him down to pure energy and magicka. Thankfully, it only lasted maybe five seconds, tops. Again, the dragon priest died faster, though she’d concentrated enough magicka to bring down that entire room in an instant.

Her headache cleared up instantly, and she immediately felt much, much better. “Oh.”

Kaidan shuddered and turned away from the large pile of char.

She made her way over and touched a finger to his metal bracer to make sure it was safe. It made a small ‘snap!’ as it shocked her, and she shook the numbness out of her hand to touch and check his throat. “Sorry, I needed a quick charge. This thing's been sitting dormant for millennia.”

He shook his head at her. “I really hope that’s the last of these damn surprises.”

“Certainly explains why we couldn’t find him at the college,” she said.

Kaidan rubbed his face. “Did you still want to stop at home for that sleep? Think I need one too, now.”

“I… no. Think it'll just be best to get this over with.” Violet shook her head. “Maybe I am a godsdamned demon, at this point. Stealing everyone else's lives for my own.”

“They had it coming,” he whispered in her ear and gathered their things up again. “And you’re not. Stop saying that.”

Notes:

“Don’t move, lu’he. Be quiet.”

Chapter 24

Summary:

This is not what Magnus envisioned.

Chapter Text

Climbing narrow passages and rickety stairs, they emerged from a trap door high up on a snowy part of the mountain.

“Not again,” Violet whined and got behind Kaidan. Hearing herself whining reminded her of her earplugs.

Kaidan leaned over the edge of the broken walkway. “At least we can see the ground this time. I definitely can’t jump that, though. Have you got enough energy back to get us down to the ground?”

“Yeah. Whatever Estormo did to me a while ago, it cleared up once I’d used the staff on him. Now whether it’s because I took his magicka and life, or he used some sort of spell or curse and killing him ended it, I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, a while ago? Did he do something and you never said anything?” he asked.

“How about when we’re down on the ground? There’s a few things that I’ve got to explain, but not on this cliff.”

Except as soon as she conjured a portal to the ground, another troll tried to ambush them. Using the staff on the troll had the same effect, a lot of crackling lightning and a pile of ash.

“I thought you said that you didn’t like using staves.”

She looked up at the top of the staff. It was several inches taller than she was, and it was going to be unwieldy whenever it wasn’t in her hand. “I don’t, really. Or maybe it’s because I never found one that’s comfortable or useful. This… this is…”

“Familiar?”

She looked up at him. “Yeah.”

“You said that the Eye kept bothering you. Maybe it’s because the staff is part of the Eye, and the Augur said it was to keep the Eye from blinding you. It’s meant for you, then.”

“And now I’m conflicted about this thing. At least until this business with the Eye is resolved.”

*

As they made their way back to the north end of Labyrinthian, she tried her best to explain what Estormo had done and what the Eye was, now that the mountain of mess in her head was starting to make sense.

“The Eye of Magnus predates Saarthal by several immeasurable spans, even predating mortality itself. It was already discarded by the Merethic era; the Atmorans just dug it up, got scared, and buried it again, while the elves were drawn to it like moths to flame the same way Ancano is now. The Eye is actually a part of the Dawn of Creation. Either a leftover tool from Magnus, or infinitely worse, a discarded and compartmentalized fail state of a Dragon Break, or even the End of the previous kalpa, if the ability to bypass being remade truly works for the gods. One of those three things. The gods hint that it does. We could access the Eye directly now that I have the staff and start pulling things out, but we’d risk fucking everything really bad because it’s not supposed to be here. In reality. Ancano nearly destroyed existence that day, by the way, so… we need to get back. Now. You inadvertently saved all of Mundus by cracking his head open the first time. Good job on that.” Violet patted his arm.

He didn’t even feel it; Kaidan instantly went numb and desperate for some of that mind-erasing pear rum Sanguine and Starfall had foisted on him. “Oh.”

“After that, I've got nothing because the Eye will just keep spouting more… horseshit honestly, but it manifests as primal magicka and not anything useful unless we ask Alduin what Lorkhan and Magnus messed up to get us to this point if it really is part of a Dragon Break. He’s the only one old enough to know, but he’ll probably just tell us to go fuck ourselves and try to eat us. And I’m not paid nearly enough to start the kind of CHIM shit required to look at all this from the outside. Not that we’ve been paid at all for any of this.” She looked directly at Kaidan with a grim expression, knowing full well that he wouldn’t know what she was talking about.

He stared blankly at her. “Are you sure you don't need the scroll Drevis gave us?”

“There’s so much horrible shit converging in my head right now, that the only way for you to understand it would be for you to either read an Elder Scroll or open the Eye. And it’s not possible for you to do either. Meanwhile, I didn’t have to open it because it latched on to me and my blood, and thinks I’m ‘close enough’ to know what to do. I wish it and the dragons had kept all that to themselves. Time-adjacent assholes.” She started ranting and not watching where she was going.

“I don’t know if I want to know, anymore.”

“Kaidan. You don’t understand—”

“I know! You’re being obtuse and I’m exhausted!”

She took a deep breath and gestured wildly around her. “It’s like a backpack. A backpack that holds Everything the Aedra thought about making. Their vision for Everything that did, does, can, and even things that aren’t yet, weren’t or can’t be. The Aedra had to stop before Everything finished. They didn’t have enough power between all of them. All of this isn’t a finished Creation. It’s not even a fucking tenth of it. Not even counting what we already lost, like all the little seeds planted with the Dwemer, but they fucked off somewhere and took the secrets and the seeds with them. But the Eye… has all of it. And what happens when you hold a backpack open and turn it over?”

“It all falls out.” Kaidan said simply. That made a little more sense, but it was all just so horrible…

“But there’s got to be space. For Everything. So, it makes space. By removing whatever Everything is already out. Except if all the Divines combined couldn’t manifest Everything inside the Eye… Kai, everyone wants me to stop that. Somehow. And Ancano’s already been holding the pack open for days. I don’t know how long it’ll take for the Eye to finish making space for Everything, but the Order only said, ‘prepare for the aftermath’.” Violet was trying not to break down sobbing, and it came out as heaving breaths.

“Dear fucking gods.” He stopped and leaned on a wall. “And Ancano’s just been rooting around in it, either not seeing or caring what’s actually happening inside of it.”

She suddenly started shouting enough the world shook. “AND IF THAT MOTHERFUCKER TOUCHED MY HORSE…!

Kaidan sucked through his teeth and clapped his hand over Star’s mouth. “We’re at the base of a mountain covered in snow. Don’t.”

Violet pulled her hood over her head and put her face to the wall for a moment to make the world stop. Once she caught her breath, it was just, “Okay.”

Estormo did not kill her horse, though it looked like either he or one of the damn trolls around there had tried. The wards she’d set around his makeshift stable were all off with small explosions. But Tiku wasn’t in the stable and had run around the outside of Labyrinthian, and they had to follow his hoofprints down into the snowy woods below (while getting even more angry and worried). Poor thing was spooked and scratched up, but otherwise unharmed.

“On top of worrying about everything else, have to hold my breath over Tiku,” she sighed and started weaving the portal back.

“Surprised he’s lasted this long, to own the truth.” Kaidan gave the horse a few pats on the neck and pulled Star up into the saddle in front of him. “Here’s to hoping that Winterhold is still there.”

*

At first, Violet worried that something had already happened when she found she couldn’t complete the portal back to the college. So she tried a few miles outside of town in case Winterhold just wasn’t there, anymore. Riding up to the ruins of Winterhold stopped them right at the outer gate. They could see and feel what had stopped them from getting too close instantly; there was a circular tower of light wrapped around the entire college, and topped off with a swirling storm of black and blue clouds flashing with blinding lightning.

“What has he done?! What is that?!” Kaidan looked on in horror and forgot about steering the horse.

“It’s an aetheric shield. No magic can pass through it. And at that magnitude, it would probably disintegrate anything physical that tries to pass through it, too. Savos and Mirabelle sent me to get this staff, and while we were fucking around in that tomb with that other Thalmor asshole, this one probably didn’t meet an ounce of resistance from the dozen or so other mages living here.” She leaned back against Kaidan’s chest and tried to keep her voice from cracking. “All I fucking wanted…”

He shook his head. “Well, here’s to hoping once you use that staff to turn him into a pile of ashes and piss on them, things will actually and permanently quiet down.”

“If he can do that, though…” she sighed and rubbed her face.

“And that godsawful magic poisoning is even worse now,” he groaned.

The staff strapped across her lower back gave off a slight, warm, blue-green glow and Kaidan immediately began to feel better.

“Thank you. But how are you wielding it without holding it?” He looked down at the perfectly round crystal and tried not to get lost in staring at the stars inside.

“The staff has its own level of… not sentience... symbiosis, I guess. Like how the Eye tries to latch onto me whenever I go near it. And you were right; it was meant for me. The staff and the Eye go together like a key and lock. And Ancano’s decided to brute force the lock with his clumsy, greedy, egotistical, fucking smug, idiot…”

“You’re getting enraged again.”

“Are you really going to try and get me to calm down at a time like this?” Violet finally noticed she was shaking and the main staff focus was ticking with little sparks inside.

“If what you said about the Staff and Eye is true, yes. You having the key to the Eye when you could already demolish part of a city without it feels like I should actually shorten the leash, or else Azura’s statue will wind up sitting on the edge of the new cliff line.”

Violet stopped, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. “Look at what he’s done, Kaidan.”

“I see it. You don’t need to make it worse.”

“…I’m trying not to.”

He leaned his chin on her shoulder and hugged on her, trying his best to keep from falling asleep then and there. “I know.”

They kept Tiku at the edge of town in case there really wasn’t anything Violet could do except make a hasty escape. She really hoped it wouldn’t come to that. Nelacar sat on the porch of the Frozen Hearth, and the students and scholars were all chattering or on the various stages of a breakdown. J’zargo actually shrunk back a bit behind Onmund in a bid to not get noticed. He then snuck inside, and Violet briefly saw someone had managed to pull Sleeps-in-Blossoms out of her hothouse basement and set her in front of the hearth so she didn’t freeze to death.

“Hey. Kaidan. You never picked this up. I think you might need it, though I’m not sure that’s half-enough against Ancano when he can… whatever he’s done up there.” Nelacar tossed a gold and ruby crown to him.

Kaidan was so tired he nearly fumbled it, but twisted it over to get a quick look. The center ruby looked like a third eye.

“It’s the only thing I could think of since you’re already covered in enchanted work save for your head.”

“And now you don't have to wear that awful bone crown,” Violet chuckled under her breath.

“I should wear both to spite you,” he grunted.

“Well, that’s not how it works. So there.”

The few villagers stubbornly remaining had all gathered inside of the jarl’s keep, and the guards posted were all heatedly discussing just what to do if bad turned to worse. She’d leave them to that since she didn’t have an answer. Going up to the ramp leading to the bridge, Tolfdir and the other masters were also being loud and on the verge of panic about how to mitigate this growing catastrophe. On seeing her and Kaidan approach, they all rushed over, then stopped when they saw the staff across her back and mask on her hip.

“You found it…” Tolfdir stared at both the Staff of Magnus and her with reverence. “It’s magnificent.”

Faralda crossed her arms. “Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to do a damn thing, and the magicka poisoning is starting to get unbearable.”

“And… he killed Mirabelle a little after you left,” Drevis said quietly. “She held Ancano’s shield back just long enough for us to not get caught in it.”

Violet just stood there with her hands over her face for a few minutes. “Fuck…”

“Starfall. I know you don’t like looking down there, but you really need to see this.”

Kaidan called her over to the edge of the cliff and pointed to the base of the college. Pieces of the college’s foundation were cracking off in chunks and getting whipped around by the shield until they either smashed into the cliffside or were sent skipping off into the distant waters. The base of the island down below was visibly straining as the whole structure vibrated. He only meant to show her that she had to hurry up because they were out of time, but he regretted it now because she was clinging to the ramp and trying not to be sick.

“For the love of the gods, Kaidan!” She was almost shouting.

Tolfdir’s voice was about as shaky as the college’s base as he stared over the edge alongside them. “Oh… Oh, dear… While I understand your trepidation about this, I have to remind you that you are the only one capable of wielding the staff, and the Eye seems to need the both of you.”

‘Nearly climbing into a dragon’s mouth, fine. Rooting around in its entrails, also fine. Rolling around in blood and fire, not great, but no hesitation. Falling into electrified water? Before I can tell her no. Possibly being trapped in a collapsing building falling into the ocean even though the world might be ending, not fine.’ Kaidan ran his hand over his mouth. ‘Fair enough.’

“I’ll be with you, Starfall.” He pulled her upright by her arm.

“And so will we.” Faralda’s fists erupted in fire.

Violet looked around at all of the people who either wanted to help her or just beat Ancano senseless. They’d have to settle for watching her.

“I hate all of you,” she muttered and went over to the edge of the shield blocking them from getting back into the college.

“That’s not how you say thank you,” Kaidan sighed.

She pulled the Staff of Magnus from being strapped to her back. “I fuckin’ know. I hate you because you’re keeping me from unleashing Oblivion on Nirn so I can wrap all this up quickly. I hate the rest of you for being unable to do any of this yourselves. I didn’t come here for all this shit. I’m tired and haven’t slept in almost a week. I’m tired of being nice. I’m tired of being brave. And being smart, and clever, and knowing what I’m doing, and valiant, and restrained, and quietly dying inside to spare everyone else! I should force all of you to watch while I peel his skin off while he’s still alive!” And her eyes rolled at their horrified and discomforted stares.

The Dragonborn tapped the staff to the wall of light and it shrank away from the sparking focus as if it had been hurt. She kept following and tapping it until they came to the still broken bridge, and now the temporary one someone had set out several weeks ago was gone too.

“After this, you will NOT let this shit stagnate and get this bad again, you hear me? Fix the fucking bridge.”

All the tapping at Ancano’s shield had made the focus at the top of the staff bright. The spell she passed through it copied the covered arches at the front ramp and duplicated them in ice all the way to the main gate. Passing each magicka font, she dipped the main focus into it and absorbed the overflowing plasma. By the time they all made it to the gate and opened it, the top focus was making everything sparkle with tiny reflections of light, and the bottom focus was starting to fill. She started using it to enlarge her own shield around her little group just to have something to spend. As soon as the gates were open, the main magicka font under the broken statue was flushing enough of the plasma that the entire courtyard was flooded.

“That stupid fuck. This is enough to poison a whole damn dragon. Without shielding, the radiant magicka’s going to kill us, soon.”

“Why did you say that?” Kaidan frowned at the slime sloshing across his boots up to his knees. He hadn’t felt anything but cold fizz the first time he’d gotten covered in it, but Savos said afterward he was lucky that this stuff didn’t kill them. It sort of made sense then why Starfall reacted so badly to it.

“Because I’m noting that the second I have to take down this shield to concentrate on fighting Ancano and turning the Eye off, you all are going to die this close to the center,” she said, now realizing her mistake. “It’s already incredibly difficult to concentrate between the island vibrating and the screaming noise of a thousand grindstones going at once.”

“What screaming noise?” Drevis asked. “I don’t hear anything except for maybe the storm rumbling overhead.”

“It’s probably the Eye, then. Give me a minute, I need to think.” She turned and looked between them.

They all in turn started trying to come up with their own solutions.

“Can we at least push the excess through the windows into the sea?” Faralda tried scooping up as much as she could with her telekinesis and a large, disgusting wave of glowing blue slime flowed over and through the archways.

Violet shook her head. “There’s too much, and it’s being made too fast.”

“Then we need to remove the condensers. If you could go over that way, I just need to reach into the well, here.” Drevis pulled a pair of steel-tipped gloves out of one of his side pouches and put them on, then created his own small orb of a shield in his hands and dipped it into the well. After a few seconds, there was a small click as the metal grate at the bottom moved and he pulled the orb back out with what looked like a magelight.

The thick sludge covering the courtyard stopped flowing from the well.

“There we go,” he groaned. Leaning out of her shield and into the fountain for just those seconds left him completely overwhelmed with the excess. The rest of the plasma evaporated into sparks of light and slowly dissipated upward into the storm.

“That’s… that’s something. I guess. I don’t know if it was a good idea for the excess magicka to be sucked up into the clouds where it can possibly rain back down on us.” Faralda stared at the storm and started to fidget. While she could control smaller storms, this was far larger than anything she’d tried before.

“I’d ask if you could do that for the one in the Hall of Elements, but that’s where Ancano is, and he’s probably going to try and stop us the second we open the door. Anyway, I think the best thing the rest of you can do is to secure the college, make sure nothing’s on the verge of exploding or catching fire from the radiant magicka, and then… whatever you all do. Pray or something. They don’t listen to me.” Violet was waiting for just a little more of the magicka to dissolve before removing her shield. ‘What was I thinking, bringing them up here…’

Ancano wasn’t getting any saner, so a few bottles of the potions she only drank when ‘catastrophe’ wasn’t quite a good enough word went to keeping her upright, and several usually too expensive spells for everyone else to make sure they weren’t turned to dust the second she got Ancano’s attention.

“I don’t know if it’ll be safe for you to be in there. I mean, of course not safe, but not immediately fatal,” she said to Kaidan. “Being here at the epicenter without a way to vent the excess, magicka poisoning would still overwhelm you, eventually. Don’t know how long that would take, even with the charm Nelacar gave you.” Not to mention the fact that Ancano now had access to about a million different ways to remove them from existence if she didn’t keep him distracted at all times.

“I’m not leaving you alone with him, again.” He narrowed his eyes in the direction of the main hall.

Another deep breath. “Stubborn ass… Fine. Remember. Snipe him. Or if he summons anything, snipe that. Magicka poison at this stage is useless. I’ll take care of him and the Eye, even though I only vaguely understand how it works. Plus, you’re only immune to conventional mortal levels of magic. Not the Eye itself, or if he’s studied it enough that he can run his magic through it like I can through the staff.”

He looked her over for a moment, then nodded. He could tell she was straining to keep herself under control. She shouldn’t be going in there against a master Illusionist and Thalmor agent given godlike power, after spending so long without rest. That Dwarven factory or laboratory full of death machines and monsters. That dragon priest tormenting her for days and driven by that damned Archmage haunting her over his past mistakes and making all of this her problem. Getting sun and fresh air only for a few minutes at a time, then having to deal with endless rotted undead. Then Ancano’s lackey just snuck in and expected to walk off with the staff after they’d done all the work. Nearly every step of the way, Starfall was righteously and deservedly angry. But the thing inside her wanting to magnify it exponentially until things got out of control…

“He dies screaming,” he whispered as he helped her open the giant doors. “Do whatever you like, just don’t kill us all in the process.”

Chapter 25

Summary:

The Light and the Darkness.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

As soon as the doors swung open, a flood of radiant magicka washed out into the courtyard and Violet had to use the staff to divert it before they were knocked down. The air itself whipped around in hot currents, was hazy, and… multicolored? The walls were breathing. And yet, the strangest thing was that the entire Hall of Elements flickered back and forth between itself, some kind of idyllic garden, and the world of endless dust that had been haunting Violet's nightmares.

“What on Nirn…?” Kaidan couldn't decide which of what he was seeing was more confusing.

“Synesthetic Evocation. Like how I get upset and then there’s frost and ice on everything. Magic becomes so entangled in some higher mages that it becomes part of us as another sense, and an even smaller number of us have our senses tied to each other in strange ways. Unfortunately, his mastery is Illusion so he’s just going to fuck up reality itself until we kill him. Yes, in this case you can say ‘fuck magic’. This is going to be so godsdamned terrible. Worse than the lich and the dragon priest driving me insane.” She swore to keep herself from crying.

“So how do we defend or fight against that?”

Her first instinct was to say, ‘you don’t’, but instead, she just sighed. “Just try your best to always be aware of where you are, what you’re doing, and there will only ever be three people in the room; me, you, and Ancano. I’ll try to dispel what I can, and for the rest, you’ll just have to endure. Stay away from me, stay away from him. He’s obviously more dangerous than me.”

“More dangerous than you.”

“You know what I mean, smartass.”

As soon as they were in, the doors slammed shut and locked behind them.

“Not like we were planning on leaving before you were dead.” Kaidan was already nocking an arrow into his bow.

“Tinvaak lu’he, ni zul. Mu nir.” (1) Violet growled and formed a star in her hand and the staff.

On giving the one in her hand to Kaidan, he grunted in pain and had to fully stop himself and the world. Instead of a small part of herself, Star had given him enough that he understood now the full of extent of what she was holding back, and yet completely lost as to how she was able to. He didn’t have magic, but he remembered the horrible taste that Rosalind had forced into him. Need and Hunger. Use every speck of Power. Burn Ancano to cinders. Crush the college and drown it in the ocean. Curse this place so loudly that all of Nirn would hear, and no one would dare come back and repeat these mistakes. He wanted to be afraid of what he was telling himself, but there was no room for it. Looking over at her, she was breathing strangely and he could hear her heart about to tear its way out of her chest.

This had to end quickly for both their sakes.

“NO NO NO! STOP TRYING TO FIX IT AND START OVER!” Ancano screamed at the Eye of Magnus.

Even with Violet’s earplugs, the noise made her face twinge. She pointed the staff at the wrought-iron gates locking Ancano inside with the Eye. When Ancano heard them open, the colorful air returned to normal. He also looked as if he hadn’t slept the entire time she’d been gone. And then there was the fact that the Eye was slowly killing him with radiant magicka and he didn’t care. And yet, Violet knew none of that was going to make this any easier.

The Eye itself was wide open, showing off something so bright and terrible inside that didn’t belong on Mundus, Oblivion, or anywhere else. The flashing from the quickly spinning plates was already doing a number on her head. It recognized Violet immediately, shifted its plates, and tried to reach for her with ribbons of light, but was redirected back to its current master. Ancano immediately had it put an annoyingly bright shield around himself.

“I see Estormo wasn’t able to kill you,” he snarled.

“He tried his best, bless him. But all that did was piss me off. And now, I am spoiled for choice in ways to kill you.” Violet said, leaning on the staff. “Well, not spoiled for choice. I was told not to end the world in the process of you ending it.”

“No! I’m so close! I know you can see it!”

“I see your delusion.” And with that, she pointed the Staff of Magnus at the Eye.

All of the plates stopped spinning, then calmly clicked shut. She then covered the entire thing with a thick shell of ice. Hopefully that would actually work in keeping him out long enough for her to finish this.

Ancano gasped pitifully and reached out for something just out of his grasp. The shield that he’d taken from the Eye weakened considerably, and most of the strange hallucinations and mirages he was projecting faded away. It all turned to rambling rage in an instant. “Clumsy, Red bitch pretending to be a mage! You have no idea what you’ve done! How dare you! As if you haven’t caused enough destruction everywhere you’ve gone! We know it was you at Dragonstar! And Helgen! And Whiterun! And Windhelm! And Riverwood! And right outside! All of your ham-fisted attempts to be a messiah when you’re just as bad as the dragons because you are one of the damned things. And that Daedra-eyed fool has been lying to you about your ‘greatness’ just to hide in your shadow. And now you come in here thinking you have a chance because you have that piddly stick. You think I can’t destroy you? The power to unmake the world at my fingertips, and you think you can do anything about it?!”

Violet tightened her grip over the staff and the tiny stars inside started swirling. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up. You’re done.” She stalked towards him and more and more of the room began to freeze over with every step.

‘Stop playing with him!’ Kaidan thought to himself. Ancano was so focused on Starfall that he was able to slip behind the columns and move around the outside of the room. He only had to get a little closer to line up the perfect shot…

Elemental magic wasn’t worth bothering with, even though the thought of his blood freezing and killing him instantly so she could go crawl into bed was about to drive her mad. That was still a useful idea, though. Except even ripping his throat and chest open didn’t work, either. But the Eye was closed this time…

While the Staff of Magnus was technically a weapon, that obviously wasn’t its intended purpose and Starfall couldn't have cared less. She swung the gold and crystal staff around to the sharp end and against Ancano’s calves, grinning viciously when she heard the bones crack through the crumpling black metal. But before she could use it on his skull, he cast Invisibility on himself. In trying to get away, though, the thin layer of ice glazing the floor told both her and Kaidan exactly where he was when he slipped and fell. They both heard him shout when Kaidan shot him, which broke his invisibility.

“You brute!” Ancano spat at Starfall and clutched the arrow in his temple, then yanked it out. Healing light streamed out of the wound instead of blood. “You spent all week risking everything to get the key to the Eye, only to swing it around like a bloody club?!”

“It’s more gratifying to hear your bones breaking, but if you insist…”

Violet turned the staff back upright again and loud, bright, crackling lightning crawled all over and through Ancano, making him scream and convulse. Strangely enough, it easily ate through his aetheric shield instead of being absorbed by it like her own lightning would have been…

*

Something wasn’t right. This was too easy. Then Kaidan felt the slight rush of air beside him and jumped away from it, but before he could put an arrow through the disembodied pair of gold eyes, a red cloud of Hysteria took over his mind.

BURN IT DOWN!

Sealing the Eye of Magnus shut didn't remove Ancano’s hold over it; it rattled loudly as it struggled to reopen, exploding shards of quickly melting ice and motes of light all over the room. Enough white-hot fire to burn the entire college down and melt the island it sat on started shooting out of the core in every direction. The banners and decorations around the room turned to ash instantly, and the warded stone targets burst into flames, turned yellow, and melted. As she was standing right beside the Eye, her aetheric shield absorbed enough she could get out of the direct flames, but the staff turned red and her glove and sleeve went up until she had the staff absorb the heat.

‘OH FUCK—’ Violet’s attention shot in Kaidan’s direction as he made some kind of unholy shriek that she’d never heard before. “Kaidan, niid!” Then she mentally kicked herself for how useless and stupid that sounded.

“Ohoho, wow!” Ancano reappeared beside him and cackled viciously as he looked around with glee. The warded and frosted glass window they stood in front of was melting out of the frame and Kaidan was noisily heaving and screaming for air only to cough up flames and lava instead of blood. “Fire? I was going to say that’s just boring and pedestrian, but dear gods, man! What did you do?! Only Daedric fire gets this hot, and I don’t think even Mehrunes Dagon has this much! …Does he?

You utter piece of SHIT!” Violet roared. The fire went out all at once and was replaced by thousands of ice needles bursting from every surface to trap everyone where they stood; she didn’t even realize (or even if she did, she couldn’t control it) that flash freezing the burning room would make the outer layer of stone explode and crumble it all to ash.

The staff’s bottom focus slammed on the floor. “Zu’u krosis!” (2) She took control with her staff again and ran her telekinesis through it and the Eye, now having enough “strength” to pull Kaidan away from him.

While Kaidan was still dazed out of his mind, he could plainly see and feel that the fire was gone, and the ice crumbling against armor and charm was probably Starfall about to do that thing that he had specifically warned her not to do. But he could have sworn he felt her hand on his wrist, pulling him upright. He had to admit that he really didn't like this magic from her either, even if she was helping him. He looked up to see she was still by the Eye of Magnus, and… oh. She forgot about Ancano. Because she’s always too bloody distracted by him. He wasn’t worth it. And she did warn him to stay out. Gods, he was so tired. But she had it worse. “Your left!

“Shi—” She was about to force open the badly warped inner gate and toss him out, except Ancano had teleported beside her and backhanded her against one of the Eye’s oncoming plates. Her concentration was broken, and Kaidan hit the gate hard enough to dent both the weakened metal and his armor, and dump him on the floor. Ancano’s spiked glove smoked and ticked with static from smashing through her lightning shield and ebony skin.

“Gods, now I see why you two keep doing that. That was incredibly satisfying. But I wonder what will come out of the Eye when we look into that midden pile between your ears…” the inquisitor chuckled as he tried to shake off her blood and get feeling back into his hand. His other hand had that red smoke that he had cast on Kaidan a few minutes prior. “Or better yet, I could get you to activate this thing through your rage?”

Let him kill himself, since you want to be weak and lazy.

With Mayhem now flowing through both hands (and ignoring the thick needles of ice crawling all over to dig into his flesh), Ancano grabbed the dazed and bloody woman by her throat and shoved her back into the core of the Eye of Magnus. That was it. She was the key, not the bloody staff! He should have realized it from the moment they first appeared in the hall. And he almost had it before, if that damned dullard Savos hadn’t interfered.

Kaidan pulled himself to his feet and tried to push the pain down enough to aim his bow. Thankfully, he hadn’t hit his head, but he wished Starfall had let go of him before almost crushing him in a pile of hot metal. He was aiming for Ancano's head, but his entire right side wouldn’t have it and he had to settle for pinning his shoulder and hopefully piercing through to whatever passed for a heart in that fucker.

*

Three Psijic mages looked on in utter confusion and dread from the vestibule to the Hall of Elements. Everything had a dull grey tint to it.

“Now he's done it,” Tandil muttered.

Quaranir paced back and forth. “We should've been helping them! They’re still mortal and Starfall spent so much time hiding from the Eye of Magnus instead of learning about it, that she has no idea how to use it. Ancano knows more than she does at this point. Gods, what were we thinking?”

“About not getting cast out, and then we really wouldn’t have any recourse to helping them,” Gelebros said.

“Well, it’s not going to matter much if she keeps turning everything to dust like she keeps panicking about,” Tandil sighed.

“Uhm, is it getting darker in here?” Gelebros frowned and looked around.

*

As soon as the Eye of Magnus snapped shut with Starfall stuck inside, the giant orb shuddered violently. Kaidan immediately forgot everything that Starfall had told him and bolted over, trying to wrench the damned thing open again.

“Star?! STAR!” His fingers couldn’t make the seams budge, his clawed gauntlets couldn’t even scratch whatever it was made of, and his sword would likely snap in half if he tried to use it as a prybar. He prayed the fact that he couldn’t hear anything in the way of screaming or cursing was only because she was dazed, and not…

“Don’t bother, you bloody mongrel. She’s likely a remnant of Akatosh again and the Eye has what it needs to finish its task. And then we’ll never be burdened with you mortals ever again!” Ancano clutched his arm and tried to heal himself.

Kaidan’s eyes were two red suns as he grabbed Ancano by the throat with both hands. He could barely hold back from tearing his head clean off his neck. “OPEN THIS GODSDAMNED THING RIGHT NOW, OR I'LL USE Y'R FUCKIN’ BONES T’ PRY IT OPEN!

Ancano just barely choked out a laugh, at least until the Akaviri easily smashed through his jaw.

Gods damn it. The doors were locked, Starfall was stuck inside that thing, and Kaidan’s only options were either get Ancano to open it again (if he even knew how), or kill Ancano and hope that would make the Eye stop like it did last time. The second one closed his option for the first. Hoping that Star would be able to get out of there herself wasn’t likely to happen, as this shit elf had scrambled her head… before throwing… her… OH, NO.

A deluge of thick, tangible shadow started pouring out of the seams of the Eye of Magnus.

Kaidan dropped Ancano and got the fuck away from it, not caring that he’d given him the chance to heal himself. That pit of Hunger she was always struggling with when dragons, undeath, Daedra, and damn near everything else barely made her flinch and that bloody fool had made it manifest. Finally being able to truly see it…

“What on Nirn…?” Ancano felt at it and rubbed it between his fingers. It absorbed all light, burned and hissed through his armor and flesh like cold acid, and it spread on its own up his arm. Then the burning wet sprouted four perfectly black tentacles around him and nearly dragged him into itself. “Oh, GODS!”

The Eye of Magnus was gone in an eclipse. There was now a giant literal eye there instead, and Kaidan absolutely knew what kind of monster had that sort of eye, and one that big. The dozens of smaller eyeballs pouring out and floating on top of the shadow confirmed it. No wonder she was losing her mind! The main eye rapidly looked around the spreading shadow, then down at them. Even Ancano hissed a curse and started frantically struggling and panicking.

Yes?” the Eye said slowly.

*

“I thought you said she was Dragonborn.” Gelebros’s eyes were wide with terror.

“She is,” Tandil said coolly.

“Then what is Hermaeus Mora doing here?!”

“Complicating things, obviously,” he sighed. “That’s what the Daedric Princes do.”

“We need to step in, now.” Quaranir started weaving the portal that would connect their plane to Nirn’s when Tandil told him to hold on a minute.

“I want to see why he’s suddenly appeared now that Starfall is ‘absent’.”

Quaranir kept weaving. “Is it really about her, though? He’s either taken the Eye of Magnus or is obscuring it.”

“If he takes it… then it’s no longer our problem.” Tandil was mesmerized. More than a few mages had traded everything including their fortunes, minds, and souls (or all three in no particular order) for an audience with Hermaeus Mora, only to get nothing, madness, or death (again, in no particular order). Starfall never mentioned let alone called him in the entire time they’d been watching her. In fact, she seemed annoyed at having to deal with anyone at all.

“Do you really think we should just let the greatest magical, scientific, archaeological, and undisputedly dangerous artifact ever discovered go to a Daedric Prince?”

Gelebor scoffed. “You want to try taking it from him? From any of them, to be completely honest with ourselves, here? Besides, she’s still in there. …Hopefully.”

Quaranir finally stopped and gave up. Nerein did say to have faith in her. He had no idea how, when Starfall was likely now broken beyond repair, if she was even alive after being locked inside of something designed to break down and possibly remake all of Creation.

*

Words didn’t work. It wasn’t half as bad as when the Eye of Magnus first shocked her unconscious, or when Ancano had almost thrown her in without the Staff of Magnus, only to get feedback from stupid Savos, fucking Ancano, and the damned Eye at the same time, but even with the staff, everything was too much of a mess for her to even figure out what happened, or what she was sensing. She wasn't sure if it had been her or the staff, but she was in her crystallized shield, and the bottom focus was stuck through the bottom of the Eye’s core. That was about all she could figure, though.

‘Gods-mother-fucking-damn-it.’

Well, the anger still worked, anyway. Sort of. Still wasn’t quite articulate or accurate enough. So loud and bright. Can’t catch a nap in here, either.

Why are you playing with him?

Violet tried to scream but couldn’t even get that out. Of all the damn things washing over her senses and crushing her to death, whatever that was, was still able to cut through all the noise like a knife. Tired and angry weren’t nearly good enough words anymore. Exhausted was only the beginning. Not just physically beaten, but she was in a very good and tempting position to let fate take its course, as the Augur said.

You are also in the position to become something that never becomes tired, and would not become so hopeless and pathetic at literally nothing.

Nothing, the parasite says. ‘I don’t want that. I want to go the fuck home and crawl into bed and never come out.’

Noted. Now stop stalling.

She grabbed the staff firmly in both hands, even though moving felt like trying to swim through molten lead. From the moment she’d first picked it up, it had been working to straighten out all the garbage that had filled her head. It was all still there, and now the Eye was filling it with more and worse the longer she was stuck in it. Whatever this was, it didn’t seem to understand what being mortal meant. Sometimes you’re slow. Or stupid. Or weak. Or pathetic. Or scared. Or sad. Or angry. Or confused. Or exhausted. Or just needing a fucking minute. Or all of those things. Which she was at the moment.

Gods damn, a nice coma, though…

Your Focus is still wondering if you've died.

‘Huh. He is, isn't he?’ Violet looked at the top focus of the staff. The dark blue crystal full of white stars was warm and glowing slightly. ‘Is Ancano still fucking with him?’

I'm going to tell you whatever will get you to move.

‘Well fuck you, then,’ she finally found her throat to groan.

*

“What are you?!” Ancano screamed at this new intruder. By using every mote of the ambient magicka still left outside of the Eye, there was enough to keep the pain at bay. “What have you done with Starfall and the Eye of Magnus?!”

That, and she, is my secret.

*

“What?” Quaranir stared. “Has she really made a deal with Him?”

Some of the eyes looked directly at the three Psijics and they all stopped dead.

No.” echoed all around their space.

*

“Hermaeus Mora. Give Starfall back.” Kaidan said slowly and carefully. He knew of Hermaeus Mora, though this didn’t quite match the pictures and effigies of the cultists he’d killed. Mehrunes Dagon hated him and his ilk for sitting on secrets and all-powerful knowledge he wasn’t privy to, doing shit all with any of it. He suddenly felt very stupid for not putting it all together earlier. Starfall literally could not tell a god from a hole in the ground.

But as far as he knew, the Prince of Fate and Knowledge was not known for things like rage and cruelty. Though rage and cruelty were close, well-beaten paths when looking so hard and desperately for answers and becoming frustrated at not getting them. That and madness. Doing anything to make it stop. Yeah, he was an idiot, too.

Your Ambition can leave when she wishes. She is stalling and whining, as usual,” the cloud of eyes lilted. A few of them rolled or sank in annoyance.

Kaidan simply blinked at Hermaeus Mora’s giant main eye. Even now she was being a pain in everyone’s arse. “…She’s alive, then.”

Of a sort.

“You’re kidding me. First the Eye of Magnus. Then the Psijic Order. And now…?!” Ancano had stopped flailing, hastily numbed the pain, and healed what was left of his jaw back together, but was only able to speak through grit teeth. He threw his working arm up at the Daedric Lord.

‘I can finish you off, then, if she’s alright.’ Kaidan didn’t dare wade into the thick shadow that had trapped him by the gate, but he still had his bow. He was about to pull an arrow back when a black tentacle rose up and snatched the weapon away.

Do not play with her food. She needs to learn. She lives through learning. Knowing.

Ancano went pale.

“She doesn’t need to learn from you.” Kaidan couldn’t stop himself.

Azura already told you. She has many tutors.

“And she learned from Azura not to trust you lot,” he muttered. Hermaeus Mora was one of the most dangerous Princes. Knowledge and Secrets and obviously he was going to dangle them over Starfall’s head. And whether it was because Mora’d been with her from the beginning (seemed like it, now that he thought about it), or there was something new to put in her already daft head, Kaidan’s job was about to get a whole lot more difficult.

“So, you’re not of the Blades or the Empire, you’re both just conniving Daedric filth!” Ancano spat at Kaidan.

It is not so simple, mortal.

“Tell me, then. Why do you lot care what happens to us this time, when you’re always telling us we’re little more than ants?” Kaidan gave a dry laugh. “Who knows, if you let it all burn, you might get to make it the way you want it next time.”

The tapestries are not yet complete.

“Hmph.” Kaidan scoffed. More secrets. More threads of fate. Another tapestry. Who knew Daedra all loved weaving? Maybe she could still hear. “Oi, Star! Krii rok arhk ful mu bo! Zu’u mindok hi laan praal…” (3)

*

On one hand, Ancano had shoved her into the Eye, fully intending to use and unravel her. Fucking hurt, too. He still needed to get what he gave. On the other hand, whatever he wanted backfiring spectacularly and turning everything to dust would be good, too. It would also save her from having to deal with whatever Alduin and Akatosh’s horseshit was.

You would allow your Focus to turn to dust? Your entire existence?

‘Not like he’d be mad at me for it,’ she snorted. It felt like a needle was shoved up her nose into her brain and she clutched her face.

The eye-watering whiteness of the inside of Eye inverted itself and became suffocating darkness.

‘You are so bent on tormenting me to do shit, when it would’ve been easier to just fucking get someone willing and able. I’m falling apart. You’re making it even easier for me to just let it all burn just to spite whatever the fuck you are!’ Her scowling started to crack and let tears out, as did the crystal around her.

The darkness snatched the Staff of Magnus away from her and her protective crystal shattered.

LEARN. KNOW.

*

Kaidan still didn’t want to step into the giant puddle of whatever Starfall and Hermaeus Mora had created, but now the giant Eye that was once Magnus’s artifact and now part of Mora was shaking and leaking cracks of light from the seams, and it looked sort of like the Prince of Knowledge either didn’t know or like what was going on. The smaller eyes were looking around frantically, and the main one was gone in another eclipse.

“You pissed her off, didn’t you?” Kaidan sighed.

No more than usual.

“So you scared her.”

I reminded her that she has work to do.

Kaidan shook his head. “Don’t do that. She knows bloody well what she’s supposed to be doing, she just can’t do it because she’s overwhelmed. She hates when you nag her and that just makes her stubborn. How do you not know this by now?!”

I know. What she wants does not matter.

“Why are you talking to a Daedric Prince as if you know him?!” Ancano was becoming more and more frustrated, mostly with the fact that the shadows and tentacles were slowly crushing him, while the damned Akaviri was allowed to go free but was too stupid to run.

We have a common interest, obviously.

“The Dragonborn,” the Thalmor spat. “Why would a Daedra take interest in a barely human, low-born woman, even if she clumsily misuses Aedric magic?”

The splash of oil and eyes studied Kaidan, Ancano, and the three Psijic mages all at the same time. “No.

“Because even if Starfall averts this bloody disaster you’ve caused, there’s still a decent chance dragons will burn everything to the ground, anyway. You need her for something. Something even bigger than getting the bloody Eye of Magnus for you and possibly preventing whatever Alduin plans to do.” Kaidan laughed bitterly. This was too much! She didn’t know how close she was whenever she complained about these high and mighty bastards always pushing her to do things.

This is why you are the Focus.” Mora returned, sounding pleased. “And she is the Ambition… that you could not secure through your previous endeavors. He would be intrigued, as well.

He froze up. “Don’t you bloody dare.”

He somehow became even more smug. “Do not worry, We are not on speaking terms, as you know. Nor would I expose you to our guests. But I do remember how many of my servants you have taken from me. You will know your place, in time.

“What guests?!” Kaidan looked around.

The ones who Starfall could not count on to help.

“Bloody Psijic Order,” He spat then looked around. “If not now, then when, eh?!”

*

“But He was perfectly fine exposing us,” Tandil scoffed.

Gelebros dropped his head back. “Just how powerful does the Akaviri think we are?”

*

The fountain of eyes stopped overflowing, with one tentacle slithering up in front in front of the largest as if to shush them all. Mora’s pupil opened into a widely grinning mouth full of dragon’s teeth, making everyone recoil in disgust.

Do not let her falter again.” The Prince of Secrets had his eyes on Kaidan and the Psijic Order. Then the dozens of eyes disappeared, each in their own eclipse.

The Eye of Magnus appeared again, opened up, and the bright, shining core shot out ribbons, threads, light-shafts, and motes of light into the magicka font below it. Some of them reformed into a blindingly bright, gold-scaled, and utterly enraged Starfall, and several formed into a halo of wisps. Her claws scratched and cracked around the rim of the magicka font as she tried to pull herself upright. One ribbon turned into the Staff of Magnus and clanked against the rim of the font. Everything she was touching burned and crumbled to ash.

Kaidan couldn’t even call out for her. He could see that drawing her attention at this point was probably the worst thing he could do. But she was… alive. If such a thing could even apply to her, anymore. Even her black and silver dreadlocks trailing out from the center of the Eye looked and glowed like the insides of some Dwemer machines he’d seen.

THAT. HURT. YOU. MOTHER. FUCKING. SACK. OF. CAMEL. SHIT.” Violet screeched at Ancano. Each word was a wisp that made a dull ‘CRACK!’ across the Thalmor’s forehead to keep him stunned and clutching his forehead.

‘And she still has that mouth.’ Kaidan groaned, leaned against the wall, and tried not to draw attention to his snickering. His ribs jolted pain up his side with every little shake of air. ‘She’s still Starfall.’

Her roar brought several pieces of the ceiling down. “IIZ WULD!

Before Ancano could recover and back away from her and the Eye of Magnus, Starfall was already in his face, and then he was hit by an avalanche and crushed. There wasn’t even any air or time to scream.

“Oh, how I’d love to see if an inquisitor can endure their own practices,” the Dragonborn hissed and twisted the Staff of Magnus through Ancano’s gut; the gold metal crackled with searing light and charring, sparking lightning. Everything below where she’d impaled him dangled uselessly against the column she’d pinned him against and floor. “But gods, damn them too, I am so fucking done with all this horseshit. Fuck. You.

He was still able to look down, and that terrifying look in her eyes from when the Psijic visited her was a thousand times worse. That darkness that Hermaeus Mora brought with him, and the stars in the staff’s focus…

From Kaidan’s viewpoint, the staff and ribbons of light trailing from the Eye looked like a spool and sewing needle for Mora’s (and Azura’s?) unholy tapestry.

“If you had just let me finish…” Ancano slowly tried to reach for her with a hand full of Hysteria. “Our suffering…”

She grabbed his wrist and it withered to ash, then leaned in and whispered in his ear. “The Aldmeri Dominion is built on millennia of lies.”

Kaidan was too far away to hear what she was telling him, but the wide-eyed surprise withering into pain building on Ancano’s face was either very good, or very bad. Either way it was fitting. “Nidbo mey voth rok!” (4)

Violet sighed then drew a large circle of white runes underneath them. “Damn it, I don’t have any Black soul gems. You don’t deserve the peace of death.”

Violet’s shadow bubbled up around her and a large, black soul gem in the shape of a blazing sun floated to the top beside her feet. She stared at it hard enough she almost forgot where she was. “I… whatever. No. Too tired.”

It snatched itself up into her free hand by her telekinesis, and the Staff of Magnus in the other obliged her demand. One light was torn into two. “Not Akatosh’s. Not Arkay’s. You. Are. Mine.

Ancano’s face twisted into a silent scream as half was drawn down into her Circle of Death, and the other half was pulled from his open mouth into Azura’s Star.

“Just like you asked for, lu’he,” she mumbled and draped over the staff to keep herself mostly upright.

How in every god in every pantheon’s names was he supposed to keep that under control?! “Star…fall?”

“Yeah.”

“Are… you…?”

“—Still half past dead and only running on pure vengeance? Yes.” She struggled and strained terribly with dislodging the staff from the almost crumbled stone column and Ancano’s broken corpse. Glowing blood dripped down the corner of her eyes, ears, nose, and mouth to stain her white tunic.

“Divines save us,” Kaidan said under his breath and stumbled over to help. His side still ached with dull fire, and the bright, rapid flashing and screeching of the Eye of Magnus had him feeling like what she must have felt like all the time. As soon as he put his hands on the staff to help pull it out, lightning shot up his arms and knocked him flat on his back.

“…Well, shit.” Violet leaned on the staff again and ran her hand down her face.

Notes:

(1) “Speak in Dovah, not mortal. We hunt.”
(2) “I’m sorry!”
(3) “Kill him and we can go! I know you want to rest…”
(4) “Stop fooling with him!”

Chapter 26

Summary:

The Archmage of Ash.

Chapter Text

Violet quickly dropped to her knees beside Kaidan and made sure he was still alive. At least this was the opposite of last time; now there was so much magicka around and in her that she probably could have raised him from the dead if she really needed to. But he was still mostly alive. Badly stunned and his heartbeat was off, but alive.

“Really should have seen that coming,” she sighed with one glowing hand over his heart and the other over his forehead to hold him down in case he jolted back awake.

“Godsdamned magic,” he eventually mumbled.

She fell back into sitting down and looked up at the Eye of Magnus. “Yeah.”

Tolfdir and a few of the faculty finally burst through the front door and streamed into the completely destroyed Hall of Elements. The blackened devastation alone was enough to stop nearly everyone in the vestibule. He and Faralda were the bravest and ran in past the Eye of Magnus, but both still stopped a short distance away from the two on the floor, and well away from Ancano’s corpse still impaled to the column.

Violet simply stayed on the floor and kept her eyes unfocused. If she couldn’t get the staff out of the column so she could lean on it, she wasn’t going to make it two steps before she fell over again. No, don’t let them see that it was a godsdamned miracle that it ended when it did. Except it wasn’t really over, was it? She still hadn’t stopped the Eye, and couldn’t without the staff. But the staff was stuck tight, and nobody could touch it but her.

Tolfdir finally gathered himself, and against all sense, ran in and snatched poor Starfall up in a hug, then held her shoulders. “I knew you could do it, my girl! Just look at you! But by the gods, what on Nirn happened here?!”

“T-Tolfdir… I…” She swayed, but pushed off of him to sit back down with Kaidan.

“We kind of need a few more minutes, here,” Kaidan said, still on the floor and staring at the ceiling.

“Still going… I have to stop it, but I’m so tired… everything hurts…” She found herself leaning forward until her head was resting on Kaidan’s chest.

Kaidan sat up and hugged her to keep them both propped up against each other, then turned to Tolfdir. “I don’t suppose you’ve studied enough to know how to stop it, or at least tell her how.”

Tolfdir turned toward the Eye and had to shield his eyes with his hand. The center of the Eye was so bright, loud, and clearly unstable that everyone else back in the vestibule started murmuring about going back outside and possibly evacuating the village. Whatever they’d done that had destroyed the room probably didn’t help. “I... I don’t know. Ancano is — oh, dear gods — very dead, but whatever he’s done to the Eye doesn't seem to have stopped. I have no idea what to do!”

“Starfall. The Staff goes with the Eye like a key. It has to be that. Can you lock it again?” Kaidan looked down to see she was nearly unconscious and gave her a few nudges. “Oi, not until you’re done packing this damned thing up.”

“I know. Shit.” She shuddered and downed the large gilded bottle that Faralda had handed to her. “And look who’s back.”

Kaidan had to push his own anger down. “Just in bloody time.”

Three flashes of light appeared around the main hall, triangulated around the Eye of Magnus. Quaranir appeared before Violet, while Gelebros and Tandil immediately put up aethereal shields around the Eye. She was still clinging to Kaidan’s arm to steady herself, but he could tell that something was building up again inside her by the fact that her nails were leaving claw marks in his leather armor.

Quaranir bowed and spoke quickly. “We knew you would succeed, Master Starfall, though a little — alright, a lot — more… harrowing, than we were expecting. Your power alone makes you one of the greater Archmages the Psijic Order has seen in hundreds of years, despite all the danger that has come with it.”

Now you show up.” She rolled her eyes at all the ridiculous and damnable praise. “Tell me how to stop this thing.”

The Psijic mage frowned. “You may have the accompanying Staff of Magnus, but as it is now, the Eye is too unstable to keep here. We can move it someplace safe while we decide what can be done with it. I’m sorry, but it cannot remain here. As it is now, it could not only destroy the college, but Nirn itself. Ancano at least held some truth in that.”

What.” Violet’s booming, harsh, gravelly rasp cut through the hall, bringing everyone’s attention away from the Eye and down to her.

‘Oh no.’ Kaidan closed his eyes. “Starfall, please don’t. It’s over. You can rest now.”

“Tell me how to shut it off, and then you can get the fuck out of here.” She pushed off of Kaidan and stumbled back to trying to dislodge the staff.

Quaranir took a step backward. “I beg your pardon?!”

“How dare you! How absolutely fucking dare you! How long has this fucking thing been sitting in the dusty-ass basement of Saarthal?! Five thousand years?! More?! You knew it was down there! You put a goddamn ward on it to keep people away from there! You could’ve come got it at any time!” Every sentence, her Voice got louder until the entire building was rattling and needles of sooty ice were vibrating off the walls and regrowing.

But no! You put all this shit on ME, because I was the first fucking sucker to walk down there! What if it had been one of those poor, dumbass novices out there?! They can barely even summon a basic shield! All this would have eaten them alive! What if any of the monsters that have been guarding all this shit had gotten out?! There was a fucking bone dragon, an undead army, some kind of weird wisp-woman, and a dragon priest guarding this thing alone and the only thing keeping them down there was that fucking idiot Savos murdering his own fucking idiot friends, trapping them down there with a curse, and locking the door! This thing is giving off enough radiant energy they can probably feel it in Black Marsh! This fucking stick and my spite are the only things keeping everyone here from melting into piles of slime! Hell, we all still might die soon from radiant energy, anyway!

Everyone at every step of this godsdamned tragedy for five thousand years has done the absolute minimum to absolve themselves of responsibility so that we had to come and do all the extra soul crushing work to fix it. You just watched while that fucking monster did those horrible things to us! Look at this mess! The ash wasn’t the Eye’s fault, it was ours! And what’s our prize? More responsibility I didn’t ask for and a ‘thank you’?! First the dragons, then the gods, then the Daedric Princes, and now THIS! YOU DIDN’T EARN THIS. ANCANO THOUGHT HE EARNED IT AND NOW HIS ASS IS GOING IN A SOUL GEM HOLDER ON MY WALL. I FUCKING EARNED THIS. Hell, Kaidan did more than the lot of you put together and he can’t even cast a fucking magelight! I’m going to find out exactly how to operate it, and what happens after that is at MY discretion! You’re not going to stuff it in yet another fucking basement so you can ignore it until it gets out of control again! If I had to do all the fucking work, I’m taking all the fucking credit. I EARNED IT, IT’S MINE.

Violet was gripping the Staff of Magnus so tightly that both she and it shook, along with the entire Hall of the Elements until the staff rattled loose. As soon as Ancano’s body hit the floor, the last of him collapsed into a heap of dust to join the other piles all around the room. Beyond all reasoning, she stomped over and swung the staff as hard as she could against the spinning orb that was screaming a high-pitched sound that should have driven her out of northern Skyrim entirely. “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

The impact slammed the Eye’s rune plates shut all at once like someone slamming a thousand doors, and that same horrible shockwave that Ancano had initially released weeks ago was sucked back in, along with every ounce of magicka released since, knocking everyone in the building except Violet to the floor. The Eye of Magnus stopped abruptly, all the light from it died, and it fell into the now empty magicka font with a heavy crunch.

“NU BO!”

Her final Words slammed into the Psijic mages all at once, banishing them. Everyone else (save Kaidan as he was used to it) backed away from Violet and towards the front door. After seeing her and Kaidan completely devastate the two dragons and the lich, the rest of the college knew they were powerful and not to be tried, but now she’d just nearly collapsed the college and banished three Psijic mages with only two words.

“Are you finished throwing a tantrum, dovahdin?” Kaidan said through grit teeth. While she was absolutely right and it had been an exceptionally shitty several weeks working to resolve all this by themselves, just for the Psijic Order to swoop in out of literally nowhere and call themselves saving everyone, she should have just let them take the damn thing so they wouldn’t have to keep babysitting it and be leashed to the college.

“Fuck off,” was all she could cough before the darkness and stars left her eyes. She collapsed on him and dragged them both to the floor. The Staff of Magnus clattered beside her and all of the other effects and spells driving her past her breaking point all shattered like glass.

“Oh dear, I’ll go get Collette. Here, take these and take the door on the left.” Tolfdir dropped the keys to the Archmage’s office into Kaidan’s hand and rushed off to find the Restoration master.

Kaidan clutched her tight and got help from Faralda to get them both off the ground. There was a small, mumbled prayer that her words were the truth instead of her succumbing to the same insanity as Ancano or Mora’s drive to know…

*

“It’s a good thing she’s a healer and can take care of herself in most emergencies. You two should have died to half of this. I’ve seen soldiers with less scars.” Colette mused as she healed the lightning burns along Violet and Kaidan’s arms.

“Soldiers usually don’t survive getting attacked by dragons or thrown into the gods’ libraries.” He was sitting up beside Starfall in the big, fluffy bed in the Archmage’s quarters. Easier to just let her recuperate here than drag her all the way back to their little basement rooms where everyone could (and would) be noisy about everything that’d just happened. He had to admit it was a lot more comfortable than the cramped little cottage in Whiterun and the cold basement at the Hall of Attainment. She’d earned this too, he supposed.

“You should be more concerned about how you both have been doing all this with barely any sleep. And then the shock you took just before we came in. And while you’re both very lucky that she’s a healer, her adaptation of triage for the sheer scale of danger you both encounter is far too... uh…” Colette hesitated.

“Dangerous?” he sighed.

“It’s clear she’s never had to heal the kinds of injuries that you two sustain, and so frequently. She’s a restoration and alchemical master, yes, but her mastery was towards—”

“Not being yelled at by draugr and possessed by the dead, forced to live out their final terrifying moments.”

Colette frowned at them. “…Yes.”

“She’s just a back-alley healer. And I’m a simple hunter and mercenary.” Kaidan said and put his head back. He wasn’t even sure why or how he was still conscious.

‘You were, dear.’ She shook her head. “That does seem to be how the gods like to do things. Not for us to question why.”

“Star thinks it is,” he mumbled. “Are you done?”

“Rest. We’ll figure out what to do, later. Again.”

He could barely get out “Thank you,” before he was fast asleep beside Starfall.

*

Mirabelle’s last instructions were that Tolfdir and Faralda take over as acting Archmage and Master-Wizard, respectively. Everyone down to the resident scholars had gathered in the Arcanaeum, as the Archmage’s office was currently occupied and locked up tight on Colette’s orders.

“Those two really haven’t heard of ‘quick and clean’, have they?” Faralda pinched her temple. Just before the meeting, they had all gone down to survey the exact damage; whatever wasn’t reduced to ash was charred beyond recognition, the thick, frosted glass windows were either melted or smashed, and the dead Eye of Magnus had crashed into the magicka font and crushed it. Almost the entire central Hall of Elements would have to be rebuilt, not to mention the previously ruined bridge to the mainland, and the destruction of the village proper by the wisp infestation.

“As if Ancano wouldn’t put up a fight,” Sergius scoffed. “This is what we get for not overruling Savos and tossing that damned Thalmor out as soon as he got here.”

“And now the investigation that he’d hoped to avoid is going to happen anyway, and because Starfall wouldn’t let the Psijic Order take the Eye, that’s just one more thing that we’re going to have to explain.” Phinis shook his head.

“At least she managed to stabilize or deactivate it. Maybe we’ll finally get to study it, now?” Drevis hoped. Though Ancano’s gradual insanity and the instant near destruction of Starfall’s mind from that first core interaction likely meant that they wouldn’t be able to fare any better in the way of progress.

“If Starfall will even let us get near the damned thing. What in Oblivion happened that she would attack the Psijic Order like that?!” Phinis looked to Tolfdir and Faralda for answers.

Colette shook her head. “Kaidan said that Ancano opened the Eye of Magnus and locked her inside of it a second time, and for much longer. I suspect that there’s even more to it than that, but they’re not going to tell. Not even speaking of their physical injuries. The staff by itself nearly killed him accidentally just before we’d come in, and she’s covered in lightning burns. …At least I think they’re lightning burns. And who knows what happened the entire week they were gone searching for it. They’re going to survive, but…”

The council of mages all shared frowns and furrowed brows. The few of them who were there to witness just what a babbling mess she was after the first near-death incident couldn’t figure out how she’d managed to make any sense this time, let alone still be able to use her magic and against three other masters at once.

“She was right. We should have listened, and they paid for it,” Tolfdir sighed.

“Is there any way to make this right? By them, I mean.” Drevis now felt even guiltier when he remembered them first coming to him and Colette looking for help a few weeks before.

Arniel scoffed at him and barely held back full laughter. “Are you kidding me? If anything, they need to go! And as soon as possible before they dredge any other horrors out of the shadows around here.”

“I’ve been nudging their research in the right directions, but truth be told, I don’t think they’re going to find the answers they’re really looking for here, no matter how long they stay,” Urag grunted. “And we definitely don’t have anything on that damned Eye. It’s too old.”

“What I want to know is, why haven’t the Psijic Order come back? She’s out cold, now. She can’t stop them if they did decide to return and take it back, nor would she be able to hunt them down if she was that determined to keep it.” Faralda frowned in thought.

“If they’re going to, they’d better do it quickly. Unfortunately, there’s no real way to get in contact with them,” Tolfdir said. As much as it ached, continuing to be stubborn about keeping the artifact at this point would likely be suicide.

“That’s not a good idea, and I think they know it,” Drevis broke in. “Starfall and the Eye of Magnus are inextricably linked, now. Not to say that’s why she’s guarding it so fiercely, but I was able to see how bad it is before she and Kaidan ran off a week ago trying to stop all this. That’s got to be a part.”

The Illusion master cast a living version of the Tenth Eye on the group, and the only ones who didn’t gasp or shout and quickly dispel it from themselves were Drevis, who’d seen it all before, and Phinis, who was already used to seeing various stages of soul erosion, disfigurement, and bio-magical anomalies. Even Colette clutched her amulet of Arkay; she knew about Starfall’s soul, but had never seen all of the magic behind the Eye.

While the main room downstairs was completely destroyed, the aetheric aura was a completely different story. Hundreds of tiny, glowing, gossamer threads were encircling the Eye of Magnus, which then wove into cords, thick cables, and heavy chains that tied down a sleeping dragon engulfed in wildfire. A large, white fire atronach was hunched over beside the dragon as if to guard it.

Tolfdir tried to steady his voice. “My gods… that’s them? I thought the webs were the invisible spid—”

“I said I already cleaned those up!” Drevis threw his hands up.

“Oh, she definitely needs to go. Who on Nirn agreed to let her in here in the first place?!” Nirya tilted her head and glared directly at Faralda.

“Do not. None of us had even heard of all this Dragonborn foolishness before the trouble started,” she hissed back.

“And the fact that she was coming to us for help about it means that she didn’t, or doesn’t, either. Which is even worse, if you think about it,” Urag said.

“So, what are we supposed to do with them?” Sergius asked.

Tolfdir was quiet for a while and fussed at his beard. “Well, firstly, it’s not fair to them to make this decision without hearing their case. Again, they’ve stopped Ancano from creating an even larger disaster. She came here looking for help, only to find all this, instead. At least we’ll have time to think about it. They probably won’t be recovered for some time, even with Colette’s help.”

*

“…Kaidan,” Violet whispered in an empty rasp.

She couldn’t sense him anywhere nearby.

“What time is it?” she wondered aloud. Nobody answered, though she doubted anyone would have heard even if they were right next to her.

Everything felt like the lightning from when she’d absorbed her first dragon soul, except this was all wrong. There was too much, and it was as if it was all fighting in her to boil to the top. She tried to growl, but only coughed thickly and clawed at her throat.

‘What happened?’ She struggled with sitting up and couldn’t. ‘Fuck…’

Even trying to get those words out was painful. Finding the emotion, putting words on it, putting them together, keeping a hold on them while everything tried to rip them from her and replace it with everything.

‘Where’s the staff?’ That damned thing at least made everything semi-bearable. Thankfully, the room she was in was pleasantly dim. Last time she woke up after nearly tearing herself apart, Kaidan must have thought that blinding her would wake her up faster. She didn’t recognize where she was then, either. Wasn’t Breezehome, this time. This place was solid grey stone from the floors to the ceiling, so it must’ve been Winterhold.

‘Have to move!’ At least there was plenty of magicka for her to try and spend. She found her arms and hands, then slid them over her chest. And that was the moment she understood why Kaidan was so annoyed with her healing. She found the strength to quickly roll onto her side so she didn’t wind up choking on whatever was dislodging from her throat. Blood again, probably. There was already a bucket with more blood by the bed. She didn’t remember making that.

Violet wasn’t expecting to nearly catch her whole body on holy fire; she only meant to ease the pain in her chest. If the blinding flash of light (didn’t mean to do that either) didn’t catch anyone’s attention, the shout cut off by coughed curses should’ve been more noticeable. Why was the magnitude so high?! She was forced upright and hugged herself tightly while trying to fidget the pain out. Her medicine would dull her for better control. How long had she been without it?! And food, and a soul—damn it, there was too much!

She grabbed the nearest pillow, jammed it over her head, and sobbed into it.

*

Starfall swore that Kaidan was having an effect on her, but gods knew what kind of effect, and was it worth as much as her array of tutors, ghosts, demons, and gods?

Definitely not. Kaidan emptied his cider, then pitched the bottle over the balcony behind the Archmage’s Quarters as hard as he could with his working side. He barely heard the tiny crash of glass as it hit the edge of one of the ice floes so far down, and the pieces joined the previous four bottles down in Old Winterhold.

Sanguine, Azura, and Hermaeus Mora. And he and Star hadn’t even attempted to tackle the actual problem outside of killing the few dragons that wound up in their immediate area. He realized that if Mehrunes Dagon and Molag Bal ever took an interest in her, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. She didn’t listen to his warnings the last two bloody times, and Hermaeus Mora went as far as taking her away from his influence so he couldn’t tell her to stop, anyway.

Not that either of them had any control over whatever the fuck had happened.

Redguards may have been resistant to poison and able to push themselves past their limits, but evidently going past that limit meant that it would just be that much longer to heal. And it was getting worse. He didn’t mind Star sleeping off a day or two, but it had been almost two weeks. Colette said that she’d sealed the wounds that were in her chest and throat, but every few days, Starfall would wake up, try to leave, reopen them, and pass out again. He’d tried to describe her medicine to Colette and Sleeps-in-Blossoms, but it didn’t really matter since she wasn’t awake. The alchemy master did manage to provide the calming sap for whenever she woke up, and it would definitely be necessary.

And then it had been a little over a month since she’d taken Kahvozein’s soul. She was going to have trouble with that, as well. Not to speak of her impulsiveness combined with all of the new information and power tearing her apart. Trying to help her do something so simple as pick up a stick knocked him flat on his arse, and even after Colette healed his arm and side, his pride was still smashed to pieces.

Kaidan groaned in anguish and pulled his hood over his face.

Chapter 27

Summary:

Put that thing back where you found it or so help me...

Notes:

Warning: Misgendering. (Star and Kai are not half concerned about the gender of the demon about to backstab them at best and most likely further maim them.)

Chapter Text

After struggling to get out of bed and draining all of the little bottles that Kaidan and Sleeps-in-Blossoms had left for her (and nearly choking as swallowing was like trying to force down a spiked ball of hot lead), Violet tended to stay in the Archmage’s Study and went through the personal library and stocks of alchemical ingredients. It’s not like anyone could be bothered (or brave enough) to stop her. She was able to use the little garden behind Savos’s desk to brew enough of her medicine to get downstairs, pick through the rubble (‘they’re probably not going to fix this for a couple decades, either’), get her staff and Azura’s Star, and go back upstairs to brood. Or try to. The Black Star floating to the top of her shadow when she definitely left it with Azura was something she didn’t even want to approach.

Looking at the devastation that she caused? It was her, right? Probably. Ancano was right about that, at least. Nobody else was halfway capable enough, so she was forced to flail around after a week without sleep, and after that, it was all a blank, save for being overwhelmed. The Eye of Magnus itself didn’t have anything left in it to menace anyone, and neither did she.

The room looked like the endless desert from her dream. But at least they kept the horrible mess contained there. If Ancano had gotten any further, or if she didn’t break herself out of that awful place…

The core… Her knees started to shake and she used the staff to lean on until not even that was enough. The first time she’d gotten pushed into the Eye of Magnus because Ancano and Savos were fighting over her, everything happened so quickly that one minute she was trying to tear Ancano to shreds, and the next she was outside and more confused than she’d ever been in her entire life, and Kaidan was holding her with everyone staring in panic. Drevis acted as if he understood, and he was close, but still so far away. Her nails scraped against the outer shell of the Eye as she slipped to the floor and propped her head and shoulder up against it. Gods, she was so tired.

The Violet who thought she was finally getting used to everything after tearing through necromantic coven like it was nothing a few weeks prior was an idiot.

Something in her head shut off and all she could do for several minutes was stare at the pile of dust she was sitting in. The emptiness was a relief. Colette’s somewhat grating voice smashed through it several minutes later.

“Violet? Do you need help, dear? I was just on my way to see how you were recovering.” Even though Violet clearly did need help, Colette was still cautious in approaching her.

Violet looked out of the corner of her eye, then took an uncomfortable amount of time trying to figure out if she really did or not. She finally sighed heavily and pulled herself off of the floor. ‘No,’ she shook her head.

“At least you’re up and around. Tolfdir’s kind of going to need his office sooner or later,” Colette said.

She tilted her head and raised her eyebrow. ‘After all this, which is partially his fault for not listening in the beginning, you all made him the Archmage?’

“Ah, you’ve been asleep for a while. It seems that Mirabelle requested that he and Faralda take over until we get this all sorted out. But rest assured, dear. We’re all working together now. …For now, anyway.” The restoration master almost sneered. “But now that you’re up and around, we’re going to have to figure out what to do with you and…” She waved her hands at the very large, round, omnipotent mammoth sitting in the middle of the room.

Violet simply groaned softly, coughed at the irritation, and went to go stand in the vestibule in indecision. ‘Honestly, I don’t care. Too much else to care about.’

They’d lost sight of their original mission. Again. Come here, figure out what Alduin and Akatosh were up to, how she could get herself out of this mess, and failing that (and they failed spectacularly), figure out how two little mortals were supposed to fix this mess.

This place was a dead end. As Kaidan had predicted. He really needed to stop that. Maybe he’d had better luck, though. Where was he, anyway? She didn’t blame him for avoiding her like everyone else. But there was something else wrong. Something must have happened while she was trapped inside of the Eye. Did Ancano do something else to him? The last thing she remembered was him scowling at her for telling all these fucking idiots off.

Violet lightly banged her head against the staff and went back to the Archmage’s Quarters.

*

Kaidan stayed out of Starfall’s way once she was awake again. He didn’t have all the answers written down nice and neat for her this time. He would have simply gone back to Breezehome and waited for her to come and coax another talk out of him, but he just wasn’t in the mood. It seemed though that Starfall didn’t have it in her to bother him, either.

The mages were all in the library now, and Starfall was hopefully still resting. Kaidan didn’t want to be around any of them, but he still had work to do, so he found a quiet corner with his books and gave a hard, bright glare at anyone who even thought about coming towards his table.

Starfall was looking at the wrong things. She kept trying to see if there was some kind of way out of all this, but even without the Divines, having the attention of so many Daedric Princes meant there was no getting out of this one.

So much for helping her with her curse. Starfall couldn’t possibly have made a deal with Hermaeus Mora; she seemed completely ignorant of what was taking over her mind and body. He’d have to ask sooner or later. Somehow. Mora urged him and the Psijic Order to keep quiet. But if she somehow discovered his influence herself…

A few hours later, Starfall had found him. She was all wrapped up in a fur-lined, ornate, restoration mage’s tunic and her traveling cloak as if she was getting ready to leave, but wouldn’t look at him. Before he could ask her where she was off to in her condition, she only waved her hand at him to shush him, shook her head, then placed a letter in front of him and left without a word. He knew it was still painful for her to talk, but that was even more of a reason for her to keep resting. Unless she was going somewhere she knew she wouldn’t need to speak to anyone, which raised his suspicion even further. He stared at the letter with dread for a while before he started reading.

Now that things seemed to have calmed down, I have to try and do something about the Eye of Magnus. The knowledge I've amassed and the staff helping to have it all make sense made me remember something small (or rather large), but crucial from when it was first discovered. There is another piece to the Eye of Magnus. I have to go back to Saarthal and—

Kaidan immediately put the paper down and looked to see if she’d left the Arcanaeum yet. ‘Oh no.’ He slammed his book shut and took the stairs two at a time to get to the main floor (ignoring Urag’s warnings about running) and out to the main hall.

Starfall was with the deactivated Eye, drawing a large enough rune ward with the staff to surround it and reading one of her journals with her other hand. He didn’t want to shout and draw the rest of those incompetent, nosy warlocks, but he ran in without getting too close to either her or the ward on the floor.

“What are you doing?! Are you even well enough to go back down there?” he hissed at her.

‘I see you didn’t read past the first paragraph before you fucking panicked.’ Violet rolled her eyes at him and kept working.

“You don’t even have your voice back.”

She wanted to sass him, then thought for a minute and shrugged at him. ‘What am I going to do? Talk to the dead? …Huh. Actually… wait, no. I’m not a necromancer, despite everything. Anyway, I have my medicine. I just need a dragon soul, now.’

He frowned at her. “I can see the Dwemer gears turning, Star. At least let me go with you.”

‘Definitely didn’t read the rest of the letter. Definitely didn’t learn his damned lesson.’

Violet made him wait in awkward silence as she finished drawing the rune and setting several grand soul gems around it. Savos had left her a generous supply. Technically. She was an archmage, now. Just not the Archmage of the college. Once it was done and she’d checked the notes to confirm everything, she went up to him still staring at her with creased brows and took his hand. She thought that would at least maybe calm him down some, but that just turned the frowning into resignation. ‘Should leave your ass here and make you go back to working on whatever in the library, which is where I should be. Think maybe we got all this reversed somewhere.’

She pulled him inside the ward with her and the Eye, and then she, the staff, and the ward all resonated with light.

*

Violet had to stumble a few steps back as she and Kaidan landed in the center of a large, dark room. The Eye of Magnus made a heavy thump as it landed close by, rolling and settling into the center of the large plate that it was first discovered on. Kaidan quickly took her arm to keep her upright.

“Are you alright?” he said as he looked around for danger.

She took a few breaths and nodded. Even though the Eye of Magnus had finally been returned to the base, it was still dark and inert. A quick look around to make sure that the draugr hadn’t awoken again from their intrusion, and taking a moment to rest, Violet set up more magelights and started writing in her journal again. Bringing it back here to the base should have reset back to its original state, but it still wasn’t floating or lighting up.

Kaidan finally came back and looked over her shoulder at her notes. It had to be what she’d learned inside the Eye, but a lot of it was equations. “Oi, Star? Just what did you see in there?”

She paused from her writing, and the Staff of Magnus began to tick and spark with static.

“Please,” he sighed and inched away from it.

Instead, Violet closed her book and tried to consider the right words, while the staff kept ticking away. When she finally spoke, her voice was a hollow, gravelly whisper. “Light and Darkness. Hunger and Power. The parasitic thing that’s been pushing me forward.”

‘She considers Mora a parasite,’ Kaidan thought. ‘She’s not wrong.’

“Did something happen after Ancano locked me inside the Eye?” she asked.

Now it was his turn to figure out what to say. “You know how when Ancano connected me to the Eye, everything caught on fire?”

She nodded with her teeth and jaw starting to clench.

“And how... you said before we confronted him, that it was supposed to only be you, me, and him?”

‘Oh. OH NO.’ Her eyes went wide. “It escaped?!”

Kaidan looked around and saw the offering table and throne at the center of the room, then went over and leaned on the corner. “We had someone else watching us that day.”

“Kaidan, I don’t understand. If you mean the Psijics, I already knew about them, and that’s why I yelled at them.”

“Not them. I’m trying to figure something out.” He put his hand over his mouth.

Violet went and slumped down onto the throne beside him. “…You saw it too, didn’t you? Because I’ve been sharing pieces of myself with you. Oh gods, Kaidan, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know—”

“I could finally see it, yeah, but more than that. The seams of the Eye of Magnus started leaking your shadow and the eye in the pit you described. It grabbed Ancano and held him down while dissolving his skin, and then told me to hold off on killing him so you could do it yourself. A slow, oily voice. But it knew not to touch me. Like you won’t.”

“Oh, fucking hell…” When she looked up in Kaidan’s eyes, they were bright and angry.

“Was there anyone else before Sanguine and Azura?” His hand was gripping the edge of the table as if he were holding himself back.

“What?! No! What are you talking about? Are you saying it’s a fucking Daedra?! But I already tried to expel any Daedric influence!”

“It said you live through learning. Knowing. And you’ve been trying for months, through dragon attacks, getting abducted and tortured, putting up with the Greybeards and Sanguine dragging you off course, killing everything that gets in your way, to come here. Because all you knew was that you had to come here. Because something was here. And the first thing you did was, instead of saying no and going to the library, you went and fetched that fucking thing!” he shouted while pointing at the Eye of Magnus.

Learn. Know. And now his fear and anger were constricting her chest. “Kaidan, you know damn well I didn’t know about that thing until fucking idiot Tolfdir refused to listen when I told him to leave it!” But her voice got too strained and died into a coughing fit.

“Yes, I know!” he closed his eyes and tried to calm down. “But think for a godsdamned minute and stop avoiding it! If I had to confess, so do you! You don’t get to pretend you don’t know the gods from a hole in the fucking ground, anymore. Or that void eating up your soul from the inside out. You’re more powerful than Tolfdir, and you know it. You could have stopped him. Any of them. All of them. But you kept letting it happen. Because there were things you had to know, consequences be damned.

“Starfall, you just said that thing is pushing you; you can’t get rid of it because it’s too big even for you. You did get to crack open a book or two while we were here; which one of the monsters you said you didn’t want to get involved with, and yet it keeps happening anyway, benefits the most from you now having the knowledge and secrets of everything stuck in your head, meanwhile, you yourself can’t seem to do anything with it?!”

It took several minutes of denial and tears until Violet threw her book across the room and coughed one of her more colorful curses.

“And now for me to ‘learn my place’ because he told me not to tell you,” he spat. “Not that I did, technically. But they hate technicalities even more.”

“Explains why you’ve been avoiding me and drinking like you’re dying in the dunes,” she whispered and wished she hadn’t thrown her charcoal and paper away.

Kaidan only grunted.

“And yet, I still don’t know,” she sniffled. “What did I do to deserve this?”

He grit his teeth. “That’s just it. You don’t have to do shit. Like Nelacar said. We’re playthings. Game pieces.”

“But none of it fits—” Her hacking coughs interrupted her and she pounded her fist on the table.

“And I told you, you shouldn’t have come here. Damn it, Star, stow the bloody thing and go back to bed. I’ll even bring you more books. I think that as long as they think you’re still bedridden, they won’t toss us out on our arses.”

She looked back and forth between him and the Eye of Magnus. ‘Oh. Oh…’

Kaidan could see that he’d said something else to set her off. And now she wasn’t going to listen. Starfall was fidgeting and already moving to fetch her book. He rolled his eyes and threw his hands up. “Why do I bother?”

Because even though you keep foolishly expecting me to do exactly as you say, I still hear you more or less,” she quickly scratched on a piece of scrap. She reached up and patted his forehead when he took it.

Violet went and sat on the floor beside the giant runed pedestal. It was dim and not even close to lighting up the room like when she and Tolfdir had first encountered it. Brushing the dust and grit from the base and a little bit of digging with a nearby embalmer’s hook showed that the plate wasn’t part of the floor, and could indeed be moved. A lot of numbers and another test twisted the base around a few inches to dislodge the rest of the dirt.

Kaidan could only watch and be satisfied that she’d at least heard him. Except when she temporarily disappeared from the world and came back with her other staff, he didn’t know whether to smack himself, smack her, or try and take it from her. “So when I said stow it, I didn’t mean… with that.”

“Shhh…” she shook her head as she shifted her focus back to the staves in her hands. ‘See, this is another reason why I don’t like staves, this looks so stupid.’

Holding both out in front of her, she made a small sacrifice of blood to the Sanguine Rose which, when magnified by the Staff of Magnus, opened a glowing portal large enough to fit the Eye and pedestal through.

Which was more than enough for a Mazken.

It’s about time you called for me, little dragon,” they chuckled deep in their bare chest and towered over the tiny mage. “Was beginning to wonder if Lord Sanguine was wrong about—”

Kaidan’s eyes flared, he sucked through his teeth, and ran the Seducer Daedra through the chest with his nodachi. ‘Should’ve taken that staff and snapped it in half!’

…You must be her ever-suffering consort,” they grunted, completely unimpressed. “Foul-tempered servant of that oaf Dagon, but far too good looking. You’re certainly rude enough to be one of his.

Violet hissed and looked between her full hands, Kaidan, and what she supposed was the thrall she’d forgotten about. She couldn’t release either staff or the portal would shut. And her voice was a gravel pit so yelling or otherwise trying to command it wasn’t going to work very well. Too many things happening at once.

“Star…” Kaidan growled uneasily. He’d only just healed up himself and wasn’t in the mood for fighting something as horrible as a higher Daedra, but letting it live was a terrible idea.

She went with loud hissing and hoped that would be enough. “You, Daedra, were not called. I summoned my realm, not you. Get back on the other side.”

And yet, I can sense that you both are in dire need of me,” the Mazken grinned at them. They grabbed Kaidan’s wrists and twisted the sword deeper, somehow managing to unsettle him even more than he already was, then shoved him off all at once and removed the blade. It clanked onto the floor at his feet. “Should’ve taken my head off to make it clear. Otherwise, it’s just foreplay.

‘That gross fucker Sanguine would bind an idiot Seducer to torment us.’ Violet shuddered. She looked them up and down and understood why this particular one might work though, if she ever actually thought or cared about such things. Attractive, for an actual deadly monster from Oblivion full of malice and empty of mind. “Sanguine did warn you that horseshit doesn’t work on either of us, didn’t he?”

They bit their thumb with a sharp fang until it bled. “Maybe, maybe not. But if you didn’t mean to call me, and you’re just going to spurn me, then I’ll take my pleasure where I can. He said you both only really respond to violence. Which is fine by me,” they grinned viciously.

Right, then.” Kaidan said slowly and was already about to swing his sword across its neck. Violet saw the look in his eyes and seriously considered letting him, but she still needed to give warnings and commands.

“As much as I want you to shut it up…” she muttered. Hopefully it wouldn’t continue to argue after this because her voice was shot. “Daedra. I opened a portal to my realm to store something. If you tamper with it. If you touch it. If you or anyone else even fucking looks at it. If you so much as hint that it exists. There will not be enough of your soul left for you to reform in Oblivion. There won’t be an Oblivion to form in. It stays where I put it until I come back for it, which will be soon. I’m not telling you to guard it, I’m telling you and everyone else to stay the fuck away from it or face even more wrath than even he wants to visit on you. Understand?”

They gave her an incredibly hurt pout, at which she rolled her eyes at and pointed at the bloody, oozing hole still in their chest ruining the effect. They sighed and ran a hand over it, healing near instantly. “Yes, yes. I should stay just to see if I can make you two lighten up a little. A secret meeting in a dank, musty tomb? I mean, it might work if you don’t mind the dead watching.” They looked around and tapped a claw against the black chain connecting their ear, nose, horns, and collar.

Don’t you dare let it stay,” Kaidan growled with his eyes only growing brighter and deep voice louder and harsher.

Would you stop calling me ‘it’?” they said disdainfully. “I am Xeresht. They whom Sanguine confides on matters of—

Get back in the portal, Xeresht, or it won’t matter what your fucking name is,” Violet coughed.

“You both pain me with how pretty you are on the outside and ugly inside. He said to expect that, too.” Xeresht spat and disappeared back the way they came.

Take that bloody staff and put it right in the nearest fire after this.” Kaidan warned her.

“And then how would I get the Eye back out?” she sighed. ‘And now you’re mad at me and will probably think what’s after this is a bribe to get you to stop being rightfully upset.’

Kaidan looked at her. She was running out of energy fast and looking exhausted, but her face was more sorry and guilty than anything. “…Put your damned toys away and let’s go.”

She nodded, then wound up using all of the stored magicka in the Staff of Magnus’s bottom focus to pick up and drag the pedestal and Eye of Magnus through the portal. They landed with a muffled thump in a grass patch surrounded by bushes and the creek running through the tiny plane of Oblivion. It seemed that either Sanguine himself or Xeresht had graciously cleared out all of the “wedding guests” ages ago, so all that was left was a garden.

Once the portal was closed, Violet visibly relaxed and went back to showing Kaidan pieces of scrap paper. “Should buy me a little more time, at least.

“Knowing what you know now, though. Why not be free of it and give it to the Psijic Order? Let it be their problem. It’s already causing us more trouble and it wasn’t even on,” he asked.

Because they’re useless incompetents. Definitely not the higher mages I’d been led to believe. It’d probably be a week before it’s right back on my head again,” she wrote.

“Do you have enough strength to get us back?”

Violet nodded and opened a much smaller portal, and suddenly they were behind the Frozen Hearth.

“You want to rest here for a while?” Kaidan caught her just as she was starting to sway.

She answered by hugging Tiku’s side and giving him lots of brushes and pets. ‘Just for a bit.’

“…You’re getting careless, Starfall,” he said as he walked away. “You can’t keep going like this.”

‘I told you that ages ago, but here we are.’ She kept at her horse to get out of looking at him.

Chapter 28

Summary:

Rest.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

While Kaidan wasn’t worried for Starfall choosing to stay out in the cold to get out of having to deal with him, he knew that the longer she was left to her own devices, the more she would overthink the problem and likely dig the hole that they were in even deeper.

But before he could truly start to worry, Violet came in and fidgeted by the fire to warm herself up properly, then passed Dagur a few septims and a scrap of paper asking for lunch.

“Every time you come in here, you’re wearing something fancier and fancier. Next time you’ll probably come in with the archmage’s outfit,” the innkeeper chuckled. “I hear it was you who saved us all in the first place. Still a bit banged up though, judging by this paper. Damn Thalmor. Good on you; this place may be out of the way, but it’s still our home.”

Violet only smiled weakly and went to go sit with Kaidan. She pulled out a few pages of parchment and her charcoal, and started writing.

First off, I’m sorry. I should have remembered and realized all of the conditions of using Sanguine’s Rose. But now that I have the power (and authority), I’m tired of not being believed or listened to. The Eye of Magnus would have no practical or scholarly applications for the college that wouldn’t lead up to another disaster, and the Psijics were partially correct in that it had to be moved to a safer location not on Nirn. I’m sure everyone has already discovered that it’s gone and panicking; I’ll deal with it later.

I don’t know what to do about … everything you told me. They Daedra call on me. I wish they wouldn’t. I don’t know how to contact them. I don’t want to contact them. The Hunger and Power are only a few months old; like I explained to you and the Greybeards, it’s what ‘helped’ me understand the dragons. It seems now that ithe wants me to collect their words and knowledge through their souls. I don’t know why or what I’m supposed to do with all of it. It’s still killing hurting me—”

She stopped and put her head down, not coming back up until a cup of hot water was set between them.

“You don’t need them,” Kaidan said after a long drink of cider.

I know I don’t,” she scribbled.

It barely even looked like the same handwriting. Or maybe that was the alcohol. “You’re allowed to say no. Gods know they haven’t given you a damned thing that hasn’t just made all this more complicated.”

Which both was and wasn’t true. While Violet obviously could have let Ancano’s soul go, everything in her screamed that all of the shit he’d put them through wasn’t deserving of a clean death. And no, she didn’t need a damned Mazken (‘Sanguine you drunken idiot, it doesn’t work that way’) following them around, but her own plane of Oblivion? It was already a perfect hiding place for any and everything, if whatever passed for a brain in that rutter Xeresht was able to follow instructions.

Her handwriting became scratchy as she was starting to press too hard. “What happens if I say no, Kaidan? Tell me.

“Considering that they need you and thus can’t kill you, they’ll make your life a living nightmare, like they have been, brand you like cattle, like they did to me, and haunt you ‘til they become bored and find someone else,” he said simply and kept drinking. “And then they’ll likely fight over what little is left of your soul.”

Those fuckers are working together. I can’t fight that. And while I’m going to try my damnedest to ignore it them, I probably can’t do that, either.

He sort of knew that, already, but not who exactly and to what end. “What makes you think they’re working together?”

I gave Azura’s Star back to her. But if I gave it to her, why did Mora pass it back to me exactly when I meant to punish Ancano?” It both did and didn’t make sense now that she knew what that horrible void was.

Kaidan ran his hand over his face and muttered, “Fuck.”

Violet made her tea, then poured a powerfully dizzying concoction into it. Kaidan watched her slowly calm down, little by little. It wasn’t skooma, but it wasn’t like Hist sap was any cheaper or less dangerous to humans.

After this, I’m going to pack up everything and move it to Breezehome. I can’t do anything else here, unless there’s any other business you had.

He squinted at her words on the paper, then over at her. Looked like she was dozing off. “Finally had enough, eh?”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

‘About time.’ In truth, there were still plenty of books for him to look over, but based on what he’d already read, they weren’t going to be of much help, either. The Thalmor had successfully scrubbed any useful accounts of the Blades and Akaviri, from people to archives. “What then?”

She looked up at him. “You.”

He raised an eyebrow.

Violet wrote slower and more carefully now. “I said in the beginning that once we were done here, I was going to help you. You’re still trying to find out where your sword is pointing, and where the rest of your people escaped to, if they’re even still in Skyrim. They could’ve had enough of this shithole too and left before the Thalmor could finish them off.

‘Without me…?’ Not that it would’ve made much difference; Tamriel and Skyrim were all he’d ever known, anyway.

Going to stay at Breezehome for a while and see if our contact has found anything. She left us alone for a couple months, and doesn’t seem to have tried to find us, even when we were stuck in Whiterun for a few weeks. Despite her hiding, she’s still a better lead than anything I could come up with.

Kaidan tried not to get his hopes up.

That and I’m tired of all this world-ending horseshit. It’s boring and exhausting.” As soon as he was done reading, Violet crumpled up the paper and it burned to ash in her hands.

He simply glanced at her and finished his cider.

*

The second they were back through the college’s main gate, they were accosted by Tolfdir and Faralda, backed up by Drevis and Urag.

Faralda broke in first and started off with her voice already raised. “The Eye of Magnus! What did—”

Violet’s eyes rolled up in her head and she quickly scribbled something for Kaidan to read out. He didn’t really want to be bothered, but better than her throwing a fit and knocking herself out again.

She got tired of you lot not listening to her warnings and continuing to drag your feet, so she just dumped the damn thing into Oblivion. Now it can’t do anything to Nirn, and none of you incompetents can mess it all up again,” Kaidan tried to keep his voice level. Yes, it was the truth, but…

“You… you what?!” Tolfdir gasped and looked like his heart was about to fail him.

Violet was barely audible as she mumbled, “Gone.” She was still too weak to have another fit at them and merely settled for letting the staff reflect in her eyes.

The group of mages merely stared back with wide eyes and slacked jaws until it was clear she was serious and it all sank into despair.

“Y’ would’ve had a better chance if you’d all just listened to her the first bloody time. It’d still be in Saarthal, but at least it’d still be relatively safe instead of… wherever that hole led.” Kaidan couldn’t help but mock all the regret he was seeing now.

“How could you?!” Drevis moped. “Think of everything we could have learned!”

Violet started writing again. “The Psijic Order already warned you that the damn thing was unstable; you weren’t even able to contain it in the first place. Plus, you lot are all mortals, you weren’t meant to have it, let alone be able to look inside without losing your minds, anyway. It’s why she and Ancano instantly went mad. That’s why the Atmorans buried it and fought the snow elves to extinction in the first place. They knew it wasn’t a toy or something to treat so carelessly.

But if she can spare the time, and she seriously doubts it, she’ll send a journal or three on what a godsdamned disaster this all was and the true extent to which she just spared you bloody morons.” Kaidan snickered.

Faralda crossed her arms. “You know, you two aren’t helping your case on whether you should be allowed to stay or not.”

Violet already knew from Kaidan that they were contemplating on getting rid of them, but she still managed to summon incredulity from somewhere. The grey skies darkened and she threw her hands up. The Staff of Magnus agreed and started ticking wildly.

“Starfall…” Kaidan warned her.

Instead, she raked her hands down her face and gestured wildly about the whole situation, then started scratching quickly and messily on a page torn out of her journal, going too fast to spell anything correctly or refrain from crushing the charcoal in her grip.

“Alright, alright, give it here,” he sighed and started reading again. “You mean, to tell me— us—, that after all of that, even though we risked our arses and— I’m not wrecking my voice over this too, dovahdinkept this rock from falling into the sea, and were nearly killed by several dragons, a lich, the Thalmor, the Falmer— one of which was a bloody vampire, by the way—, the Dwemer and their damn traps, the undead — I can’t even read this now. Please stop and breathe.”

Violet whined pitifully and gave up, stumbling away to the Archmage’s Quarters to go collect her (and a few other) things.

Kaidan shook his head then turned back to the college faculty once she was inside. “To make your decision easier, she’s decided that we finally need to get away from this accursed place. Even though right before we first came here, I tried to tell her about you bloody warlocks and what you’d really done to Winterhold. But because she’s also a warlock, she’s as simple-headed, short-sighted, and dangerous as the rest of you, and had to wait until we’d almost died several times over from everyone’s collective incompetence to get the point. Though I’m sure that whatever other doom-driven thing we wind up doing will lead us right back here, later. But I suppose we’ll just have to cross that bridge when we get to it. If y’ haven’t let it go to shite, again.”

He left them with their stunned silence and followed Starfall to help her pack.

*

Kaidan wondered when and where they’d accumulated so much junk, though he began to recognize a few things that they didn’t have time to get rid of before they were rushed back out to somewhere else. It was heavy, too. Dwarven mechanical scraps and souvenirs, handfuls of precious gems, ancient artifacts, and a lot of books.

“Hmm…” Kaidan recognized a few of them from the Archmage’s personal library as he tied them together.

“Don’t worry, I found a few even you might get use out of,” she whispered and waggled her eyebrows.

He almost wanted to say something, but honestly, it’s not like Savos was going to object, and they could use this stuff more than all these mages who’d probably already borrowed and read them several times over.

Moving the stacks of books, boxes, and bottles took them the rest of the day. Arniel Gane, while annoyed that the Eye was gone and thankful that they were finally leaving, was more than happy to take the Dwemer relics as a consolation prize in exchange for a lot of money and a few more soul gems, and Colette was able to annoy Tolfdir into giving them the hazard and overtime pay that Violet didn’t get for the past several weeks of non-stop danger (Kaidan didn’t think it was half enough).

Funny enough, Tiku was the easiest part. Even though it was usually difficult to get him to go through the bright noise holes, as soon as he saw that this bright noise hole had grass and actual sunshine in it, he charged through and Kaidan had to just let him wander the fields outside of Whiterun for a few hours after weeks and weeks of the bitter, miserable cold (and after Mzulft and Labyrinthian, he needed it too).

*

It felt like they had been away from her little cottage for months, when it had only been the third longest week of their lives. Violet even missed Adrianne hammering away right next door. But as soon as she opened the door to Breezehome, she nearly broke down in tears.

“Gah! What is that?!” Kaidan was immediately dizzy, and strangely starving from the array of smells coming from inside their house. The hearth and cookpot weren’t even set up. Arcadia’s shop was nowhere near as powerful as this was. ‘No wonder Lydia’s not here…’

“Where’s it?!” Violet squeaked frantically. She followed her nose to a small crate tucked in the back of the house under the dining table, and immediately set to trying to get it open.

“Star?”

“Papa sent me the supplies I asked for!” she sniffled and tried to wrench it open with her fingers.

“You’re going to break your fingers, quit it and wait until we’ve got everything inside, first,” he said. ‘And wait until I’ve had a chance to brace myself before you open it.’

Knowing her care package was there made her move much faster, despite the fact that she was still sore all over. Books were actually stacked on the floor in the corner instead of on their shelves, and potion bottles and ingredients were unceremoniously dumped into whatever chest, drawer, or compartment they would fit.

“Now, what on Nirn did he send that you’re acting like it’s the New Life Festival?” he asked as he set his bag down by the door. His ghostly greataxe went on the weapon rack right next to his glass greatsword as it was; he wasn’t entirely sure how to sharpen and polish the thing (let alone figure out how it was set perfectly on the rack), but obviously the blade was there and worked incredibly well in taking off an elf’s head.

Starfall grabbed his wrist and set him on the bench, while she went back to opening the crate. This kind of animation and excitement coming from her was still slightly unsettling, but welcome in contrast to the goddess of vengeance and the frustrated, screeching dovahdin.

Once she figured out how to use her hands and magic again, the lid came off easily, and her face lit up at the dozen little ceramic jars separated and cushioned with straw, a large jug of expensive rum, a star engraved wooden box dyed and lacquered, and inside that, two jet-black, long, glossy feathers and a very long letter, carefully folded and hidden in a little secret panel that she knew exactly where it was.

“Smells like home,” she whispered and rubbed her sleeve over her eyes.

‘Oh.’ He let her be to try and read the letter through teary eyes while he investigated what was smelling so strongly. The jar he picked up was a squat, blue and black, round thing sealed with cork and wax. They were all supposed to be sealed with wax, but it looked like some of them had leaked from being scraped up in the journey from most likely Hammerfell. Opening the one he picked up hit him with sweet, spicy, pungent, tiny red berries. They smelled like he wanted to either eat them straight or pour the whole jar on something, but something in the back of his mind (which felt like ticklish burning) told him that was an incredibly bad idea.

“These the spices for the fish you were talking about?”

She nodded and put her head down without getting all the way through the letter.

Kaidan heard her breathing like she was trying to hold something back. “You alright?”

She nodded again and half sniffled, half smiled. “Papa’s safe from the Thalmor and sent more than I asked. Doesn’t hate me. My babies are okay. We need to buy eggs and honey so I can make something good. Sen behku, sen lu’he. I’ll be alright. Just needed this and a break. So tired…” Her voice died.

Kaidan put the jar down, scooted closer to her, and rubbed the back of her neck. She leaned on his side.

“What about you?” She took his other hand and gently squeezed it.

“Been better,” he murmured.

“Gonna find your kin and things will be better, lu’he.”

He nuzzled his cheek to the top of her head. “Maybe.”

“I'm sorry.” She wasn’t even sure why.

“Hm.”

*

“She’s unravelling faster than he can repair the threads.” Azura reclined on an open stack of giant tomes with folded, sculpted pages. They dripped their words onto the floor to mix with the billions of others.

“At least the Focus does not have enough of Dagon’s corruption that his exposure to the Eye manifested him, instead,” Hermaeus Mora said.

“He still watches, though. If not to take back what’s his, then to add to his arsenal. And now the rest of us must work that much more to keep her away from her other ‘uncles’.” As little as the Mother of Twilight cared for the aberration of mortals and immortals, she cared for her fellow Lords even less. And even now, they couldn’t help themselves against their simple, pathetic, base instincts of ruination and chaos. “Though I suspect that even without Dagon’s direct influence, her Focus and current direction are enough.”

*

“…And then she sent it to Oblivion and entrusted it to her Daedra. It looks like Sanguine of all of them had visited her first; she has his artifact.” Quaranir had his hand over his mouth.

Nerien took a deep breath, then looked around the table at his colleagues and pinched his temple.

“That could have gone better,” Tandil scoffed.

Gelebros shook his head. “Definitely worth the disciplinary actions we’re going to get for ‘interfering’ and not even getting to secure the Eye.”

“Right,” Nerien said. “I’ll go talk to her, see if I can convince her to give the damn thing up, already.”

“That’s the other thing. By being locked inside with Hermaeus Mora, whatever happened made her connection to it even stronger. Even being on different planes didn’t sever the connection. I don’t know if it’s even wise to try at this point,” Quaranir said.

Gelebros frowned. “But still. Better her than Hermaeus Mora. It’s suspicious that he’s letting her keep it.”

“For now. Might be as Kaidan said and He needs them both.” Tandil shrugged. “Knowing that the Daedric Princes are involved in her fate is a sure sign that all of this is even worse than her damned ominous prophecy hints at.”

Notes:

First off, I'd like to say thank you to everyone who stuck around for this very long, very strange journey. But in posting today's chapters, I've decided to end Starfall's story, for several reasons. The most obvious reason is that it was dragging, even though I'd already cut out the side-questing and more of the distractions. I definitely did not mean for the story to be even half as large as it is.

Another problem is that finally after almost three years (even though the story was first posted in March, I'd started writing it months before to build the queue), my hyperfocus wore off. I still love this story, and in fact I was well into book three and already wrote over a dozen other later chapters when I decided to stop. But when ADHD decides 'no, I've had enough', it becomes a battle that you have to think really carefully about fighting because burnout or worse is *always* on the other side. I can't risk that burnout while fighting a bunch of other mental and physical battles from this and last year. My actual original work is already suffering.

And I'm not going to lie, the complete lack of engagement for the last several months has been abysmal. Two comments in eight months when I've seen some people asking if they should quit when they only get one comment a *week*? And then my other works not getting anything at all? At first, I was well content to keep posting just for myself, but I'm wanting to see other stories more.

So sorry to maybe the two or three of you that still stuck around, and I hope that the end to book two can be enough. Will I write anything else with Starfall and Kaidan? I honestly don't know. Like I said, the novelty has worn off, and no one paid any attention to the other side stories I did post. But who knows; like I said, I still have a lot of material I didn't post.

Thanks for reading.

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