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Part 1 of Jin Zixuan Vrs. The Universe (Wherein JZX Fails At Life. Repeatedly.), Part 24 of MDZS Kink Meme 2020 Prompt Fills , Part 14 of MDZS Kink Meme 2020 Prompt Fill Shorts
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Mó Dào Zǔ Shī | The Untamed Kink Meme 2020
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Published:
2020-12-27
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2021-06-19
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Jin Zixuan Vrs. Consequences

Chapter 2: In Which Our Hero Is Not Having A Very Good Time

Summary:

Jin Zixuan has had A No-Good, Bad, Absolutely Terrible Day Week Month.

He thinks that At Least Things Can't Possibly Get Any Worse.

(Spoiler: Yes; Yes, They Absolutely Can.)

Notes:

This came out a bit more crack-fic-ish than I meant it to.

It also sort of comes across as JZX-bashing, maybe?
Like, he's an ass and a dumb-dumb; who can barely even admit to himself that He Might Have A Few (Small!) Problems With Interpersonal Relationships.

But that's sort of Canon?

This chapter takes place before he starts experiencing personal growth, so he isn't very honest with himself yet, and he isn't trying too hard to be a better person; because as far as he knows, he doesn't actually need to be.

Some unintentional misogyny on JZX's part at one point; being JGS's son means having some dumb ideas about women that he doesn't realise yet are actually dumb.

*Also - if anyone who reads this understands Chinese and is willing to help me out with making sure my poetry makes sense, will you throw me a comment? I just don't want to be offensive due to ignorance.*

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Jin Zixuan was sulking brooding thinking.

A fair bit of effort was being put into an attempt to get his thoughts in order and think carefully about what he should do next. Thinking things over carefully and considering his next course of action was actually quite difficult; as it was something he generally didn't do very often.

Even if he appeared – to the untrained eye of the kind of plebeians who did not recognise the innate dignity he naturally always possessed as the heir to the Jin Sect – to be sulking; well. He figured he had good reason to be upset.

After all, Jiang Yanli had left Lanling Jin quite abruptly and unexpectedly; before he could manage to muster the will to show her The Lotus Pond Of Feelings™ he'd created to get out of actually having to speak with her as a gesture of his affection for her.

Surely he needn't force himself to talk to her when he could just show her, right?

Historically, he’d found that talking to or about Jiang Yanli had always gone rather poorly.

That this had been the case largely because for a long time he had been actively and viciously antagonistic towards her was neither here nor there

‘Ours is a love,’ he reassured himself, ‘which transcends words.’

Certainly, he felt, seeing The Lotus Pond Of Feelings™ would alleviate all doubt from her mind about the truth of his regard.

The name he'd bestowed upon the newly finished garden area was a rather clever, if subtle hint; even if he did say so himself.

And if neither the name nor the pond's very existence were quite enough to convince her of his sincerity; at least she would be even more likely to understand his unspoken declaration once she learned that he'd actually lowered himself to engaging in manual labour - learning how to do such arduous work and getting in the way of the actual workers, toiling away tirelessly with frequent breaks to build The Lotus Pond Of Feelings™ for her, with his own two hands and a lot of professional help.

If only she hadn't left before Zixuan could show it to her!

Naturally, he thought, The Lotus Pond Of Feelings™ would definitely be enough to win me the hand of any girl I wanted – including My One True Love, Jiang Yanli!

Deep inside, he knew that the two of them were connected on a soul-deep level.

He could just feel it.

Oh, it was true that he hadn't always felt that way in the past – but that was the past! He'd grown since then! Matured!

In that time, he had undergone a metamorphosis; emerging from the cocoon of his ignorance like a glorious butterfly!

(A gloriously fierce, manly butterfly, of course.)

The point was that Zixuan had changed. He was no longer the ignorant child who had once hurt her.

He conveniently ignored the fact that he had loudly, deliberately, and very, very publicly humiliated her only a year and a half ago; while in the midst of the war and in reaction to her choosing to go out of her way to do something nice for him, without expecting any thanks in return - or even any kind of acknowledgement at all. That he had very much not been a child when he practically leapt at the first opportunity to thoroughly and publicly humiliate her as she cried; was but a small, irrelevant detail in The Ongoing Narrative of Their Epic Love Story.

Of course, he would never do so again.

Never again.

Everything was different now that Zixuan loved her.

Surely, she would know this without needing to be told.

It was just so obvious.

Clearly, all he needed to do was find a way to get her to return to Koi Tower, whereupon he would promptly show her The Lotus Pond Of Feelings™; at which point she would swoon and fall straight into his arms. Then they would get married, and have a wonderful, happy marriage togethercompletely unlike either of their parents’ relationships – and they would never actually need to talk about anything that might be uncomfortable or awkward, because They Just Understood Each Other So Well.

Words were not necessary between them. A distraction. They didn't need such fickle things to bring them together.

They had A Connection.

Focusing on the fact that the situation he was currently facing was merely a small setback before getting to be with his love, he found that keeping his thoughts positive was doing wonders to lighten the black mood he'd been in all day – ever since discovering this morning that the reason Jiang Yanli had not returned was not that she had incomprehensibly decided to stay in the Burial Mounds for a few days to visit that irritating, blasted Wei Wuxian her brother; but because after stopping there to see him for a visit, she and Jiang Wanyin had simply gone back to Lotus Pier.

Learning that piece of news had been devastating. He couldn't help feeling somewhat betrayed.

Lotus Pier might be her home now; but Koi Tower would be her home eventually. She shouldn't hesitate to come back to it. Back to him.

That she had not even sought him out to say goodbye stung.

Though of course he would simply forgive her for slighting him; without question. That was the sort of relationship they had – strong enough to withstand any and every challenge life could throw at them!  

Besides, little though he liked to admit it; Zixuan knew that he had never been the kind of suitor Jiang Yanli deserved.

Yet, despite all his shortcomings, she had loved him faithfully; even when he had given her no reason to do so. Even when he had given her every reason to loathe him, she still cared for him deeply.

Returning the loyalty and devotion she had shown him all these years without faltering was truly no hardship at all.

Frowning uneasily, he wondered if perhaps he ought to be a little bit less subtle in letting her know that.

Thinking of admitting to some of his faults and flaws – out loud, even! – made him shudder in distaste. He didn't really like to acknowledge how foolish he tended to get with regards to Jiang Yanli – even before he'd truly known and loved her, he had the most frustrating tendency to make a bit of an ass out of himself because of her.

Still, it wouldn't do for her to agree to a political match with someone else just because she thought he would never want her.

Nodding in determination, he deciding to send her a letter, accompanied by a poem expressing his – ugh – feelings.


Scowling at the ceiling, Zixuan couldn't help but wonder where he'd gone wrong.

After slaving away for hours in order to craft a masterpiece of wordsmithing; pouring out his heart and soul onto the page and sending the finished product off to Lotus Pier, there had been no response whatsoever from his beloved. It was incomprehensible.

She loved him! She'd loved him faithfully for years!

Shouldn't she be falling over herself in joy to have finally gained his notice?

At first, he simply thought that perhaps the message had been delayed – but it had already been a week! An entire week, and not a word in reply. Clearly, somehow his love letter must have been lost along the way.

Needless to say, Zixuan was feeling quite unhappy with this current situation.

However discouraging the prospect, it seemed he would have to write another. At least the practice would be good for improving his ability to entrance her with his words.


Having dedicated several days to coming up with the perfect poem for his next letter, Zixuan felt smugly reassured that this time, Jiang Yanli was certain to be enchanted by his efforts.

This time, he had truly outdone himself!

Subtle yet heartfelt, creative while still reminiscent of classics, effusive without being overweening, and containing a charmingly clever use of allegory and allusion. Yes, Zixuan's love poetry was truly a work of art.

He eagerly anticipated her reaction to his latest creation.


It was rather confusing and upsetting that not one, but two missives had somehow been lost on their way to his beloved.

Determined not to give up in the face of adversity – after all, hadn't his faithful Yanli persevered in her affections for him through any number of difficulties? – Zixuan continued to write poetry expressing his deep and abiding feelings for her.

Frustrating as the situation was becoming, at least he had the consolation that it was likely to turn him into a master poet at this rate!

Once more seated at his desk, he took up his brush and began again.


The situation was becoming ridiculous!

It had been two weeks since he began writing to her, and he still had not received a reply!

Was she playing hard to get?

Perhaps she was testing his resolve, wishing to ascertain the strength of his dedication?

Steeling himself, Zixuan concluded that he should write her more often. With that in mind, he swore to send her another love poem every three days, regardless of how long it took for her to convey her answer.

He could wait, after all.

Hadn't she already waited on him long enough?

Yes, he just needed to be patient and persistent. She would come to him in time; once she felt assured of the truth of his words.

There could be no doubt that soon, she would agree to be his wife.


It was around three and a half weeks after sending his first poem that he received a reply from Lotus Pier.

His eager excitement was slightly dampened to see that rather than a reply from his darling Yanli, it was a letter from her younger brat brother; the new Sect Leader Jiang.

Then it occurred to him that it was likely to be a missive agreeing to reinstate the betrothal between them, and his heart soared.

Finally!

He was going to be engaged to the love of his life again; this time for good!

So overwhelmed with joy he felt, his hands were shaking as he opened it.

The message inside, however, made no sense whatsoever.


To Young Master Jin Zixuan,

Heir Jin of Lanling Jin:  

 

Stop sending letters, or I will come to Koi Tower myself and challenge you to an honour duel.

Haven't you made my sister cry enough?

I suppose you feel very clever, being cruel in such an unusual way. Well I assure you – no one is laughing.

You're supposed to be a gentleman; but it's clear now that you have as much honour and respect for women as your father does. There is nothing gentlemanly about your conduct; I will not tolerate it if you continue to disgrace yourself or my sister with these barbaric displays.

 

Do not contact my sister again.

Sect Leader Jiang Wanyin,

Of Yunmeng Jiang.


Sputtering at the presumption contained within that letter, Zixuan felt deeply offended.

As though I would ever hurt my sweet Yanli again! How dare he assume such a thing!

Rather obviously, Jiang Wanyin had not bothered to speak to his sister or read the letters himself before making baseless accusations.

With an irritated huff, he moved to reply. Pausing as it occurred to him that he could not be rude to the man who he would have to ask for permission to wed his love, he gritted his teeth and forced himself to be as courteous as possible in his response.

Uneasy though it made him feel to be so open about his emotions – particularly towards someone he did not care for at all, like Jiang Wanyin – he nevertheless recognized the necessity of gaining the good will of his future brother-in-law. Laying bare his heart in such a way was therefore quite necessary to ensure the future happiness of himself and his beloved.


Sect Leader Jiang Wanyin,

Of Yunmeng Jiang:

 

I do not appreciate the assertions you have cast upon my character; nevertheless, for the sake of Jiang-guniang I shall not address it further than to say that you are quite mistaken.

Perhaps your assumptions are not entirely without basis, as my previous conduct with respect to your sister was less than exemplary. Nevertheless I assure you that is no longer the case – I spent a great deal of time and effort to find words which expressed my true feelings towards Jiang-guniang, and I would appreciate if you did not make such rash and unfounded accusations over the poems I composed specifically for her sake.

While your letter rather boldly indicated a lack of respect for my father, I shall let it go – this time. I will instead choose not to address this beyond assuring you that I have no intention of entering a marriage which resembles that of my parents' own union in any way; which is the reason I was strongly opposed to our original betrothal in the first place. Long ago, I realised that I wished nothing more than to marry for love.

Over time, I have come to know and understand your sister better than I once did, and my opinion of her has changed accordingly.

Both of my parents now support a match between us; and having made up my own mind on the matter, I felt it was only appropriate and necessary to write to her.

As such, I feel my communique to Jiang-guniang was entirely acceptable, and believe it has conveyed my feelings properly.

Do not worry over your sister's tears – it may distress you to see her cry; but she is a woman, and they do that sometimes. As men, the reasons for their behaviour is generally outside the realm of our own understanding, and it is best if we simply nod and smile and do not question the mysterious vagaries of the female mind.

Respectfully, I await your return missive regarding the question of the reinstatement of my betrothal to Jiang-guniang.

 

Heir Jin Zixuan,

Of Lanling Jin


There, he thought to himself in satisfaction. Polite, yet firm; clear and concise, and even including a request for the reinstatement of the betrothal. Perfect.

Yes, Zixuan had done well.

He had done quite well, indeed

Notes:

To get into the mood for writing JZX I started by listening to the chorus of "I Wanna Talk About Me" by Toby Keith, then listened to "Oh My God I Think I Like You" & "We'll Never Have Problems Ever Again" from Crazy Ex-Girlfriends; before listening to Tim Minchin's "You Grew On Me" on repeat. The last three were songs I'd never heard before, but they sounded like they might be fitting.
The "Never Have Problems" song definitely fits JZX's kind of oblivious naivity for the beginning of this; where he assumes that just because he's had A Feelings Revelation, that his love life with JYL can proceed unimpeded by their past and without needing to bother with such trivial things as personal growth.

However I absolutely recommend listening to the last one - it's hilarious, and exactly the kind of thing I imagine JZX writing for JYL as an earnest expression of how he feels about her. If you're curious about what kind of poetry he writes for her, I suggest you read the lyrics to that one.
You Grew On Me

[Me, on Saturday: "Okay, I'm already behind my schedule; so I want to finish getting this chapter ready to post by the end of the day!" 😄 🤣
Also Me: "So to get into the mood, I should listen to some music!" 😃 😎
Me Again: "Hmm, but what songs would fit JZX in this..."? 🤔 😐
Annnnd Me: "I know! I'll Google it!" 🤗 😏 🙄
*3 Hours Later*
Me: *surfaces from youtube* 😥😧
Me, Too: "Oh, wow, I've been watching music videos for a while. Now... hmm... What was I supposed to be doing, again?" 😞 😓
...*Sees Word App* 😕😳
...*Stares At Word App* 😰😟
...*Looks At Time* 😲 🤤 😨 😱
Me: 😖 😟 ☹ 😦 😢 😣 😭 😭 😭 😭 😢 😦 😧 😩 😫 😔 😴 😪 😪 😪 😪

And THAT, my friends, is why this update is so late.]