When Harry tried out for The X-Factor, he was depressed. Harry knows that now. He didn't realize it at the time, but Harry can now recognize the signs. He had been going through life without much of a purpose. Call him young or naïve or whatnot, but Harry was depressed. That is a fact. And when Harry had heard about the tryouts for The X-Factor, he thought maybe it would be fun. Maybe it would give him something to strive for, give his life meaning. Harry didn't want to get his hopes up, though. He wasn't the best singer in the world. He was only sixteen, practically a baby. Oh, but how Harry hoped. One can never understand the feelings Harry felt without having been in his situation. Harry just felt as though he had nothing to live for, outside of his family, and he loved them, to be sure, but Harry had never had a connection to someone who wasn't family. That is, until he met Louis.
Harry had been in the bathroom, washing his face before his audition. He was nervous, yeah, but the reason behind his nervousness was probably different than everyone else's. He was nervous that the judges wouldn't like him and that his dreams would be shot down, which, yeah, sounds pretty ordinary, but Harry's situation was delicate. Harry recognizes now that he didn't want the little hope he had left to be crushed, that his life would lose all meaning whatsoever. Harry had been so lost in his thoughts, he hadn't heard the bathroom door open.
Harry had splashed his face again, a little harder than before, and then he heard a sound of surprise behind him. Harry had whirled around, seeing the most beautiful boy he'd ever seen wiping his face of a few water droplets and staring at Harry with curious blue eyes. Harry's breath had caught in his throat at the sight of the gorgeous boy who was probably older than him by at least a couple years.
"Oops. I'm, uh, sorry about that. Are you okay? M'name is Harry," Harry had mumbled, sticking out his hand for a handshake awkwardly.
The beautiful boy had laughed, and Harry had never heard a laugh filled with more light. Harry was mesmerized.
"Hi. I'm Louis. Don't worry about it, lad. You okay, though? You seemed pretty down. Did you audition yet?" Louis had asked, shaking Harry's outstretched hand for maybe a few seconds too long.
"I, uh, no, not yet. My turn is coming up soon, though. What about you? Have you auditioned yet?" Harry had asked back.
"No, I haven't, either. You shouldn't be nervous, though. I'm sure you'll get in without a hitch. You're gonna be famous one day, Curly." Louis had smiled and then walked out of the bathroom, leaving Harry to idly wonder why he'd gone to the bathroom in the first place as he turned the tap of the still-running water off.
The smile Louis had sent Harry had given Harry the strength to go through with his audition. Even when Louis, the judge, had said he was too young and inexperienced, he pushed through and just smiled. Louis'(the boy) words of encouragement had helped Harry more than the older boy knew. It was at that time that Harry saw a glimmer of hope.
At boot camp, Harry had seen Louis very briefly. Just those little glimpses of the older boy had given Harry the determination to be better, to try his hardest. Harry wasn't sure why at the time, why he wanted to do so well just for a boy he'd met in the bathroom, whom he hadn't spoken to since, but Harry now recognizes that, that was when he first started to fall for Louis.
Harry remembers his mum and sister Gemma had noticed the change in his personality. Harry has always been close with them, so he told the women about his encounter with the blue-eyed boy and how he encouraged him. Gemma had teased him, asking if he'd had a crush on the older lad, and for the first time in a long time, Harry had found himself blushing. This boy had changed Harry's life, whether he knew it or not.
His mum and Gemma had encouraged Harry to speak with Louis again, but Harry wasn't sure. Would the beautiful, animated boy even remember Harry? If he did, would he even have wanted to see or speak to Harry again?
Turns out, Harry didn't get a chance to work up the courage to speak to him. The blue-eyed boy came to him. To say Harry was surprised would have been an understatement, but he was downright shocked when the boy had asked for his autograph. Harry had been dazed, but agreed nonetheless and signed a little notebook the older boy had been carrying with him for whatever reason. When Harry had asked shyly if he could have the other boy's autograph as well, Louis had laughed the same laugh he remembered from the bathroom, the one filled with light, and told him that he wouldn't be nearly as famous, if at all, as Harry, so it'd be worthless. Harry had been strangely disappointed, but Louis was talking to him, so he didn't dwell on it.
Harry had honestly believed he would go far into The X-Factor, because Louis believed in him, so when his name wasn't called to go through to the Judges' Houses, as well as Louis', he was devastated. Harry had cried. He was heartbroken. Not only had he been denied his dream after being so close, he'd probably never see Louis again, and that thought had crushed him. The boy had given his life meaning, given him something to look forward to, and now that was being wrenched away from him cruelly. Harry had cried for hours, until his voice was hoarse. Just when he was getting ready to leave to go back to Holmes Chapel, however, he'd been stopped and asked to come back to the stage, along with four other boys, including Louis, and a handful of girls. Harry remembers how nervous he was, how scared he was, sure this would only hurt him more.
When they were told that the judges had decided to put them through as two separate groups, the girls one and the boys another, Harry had been overjoyed. Before he knew what he was doing, he was hugging Louis, picking him up off the ground, and spinning. Harry wanted to cry even more, but his tears couldn't seem to come. Maybe it was Louis' presence that stopped them, made Harry stronger.
After that, time seemed to fly. Harry spent more and more time getting to know Louis and the other lads and Harry only became happier. He and Louis got on really well and they flirted a lot. Harry thought that maybe Louis liked him, too. After X-Factor, which they came in third on, Harry and Louis only became closer. Really, Harry was happier than he'd ever been in his entire life. Louis brought light to his life and saved him. Harry is sure that Louis never knew just how much he had changed Harry's life, but he did change it. Before Harry met Louis, his life was boring, ordinary, and had no light in it. That one chance encounter in the bathroom had changed Harry's life around, and Harry knew he loved the blue-eyed boy with all of his heart.
But then, everything changed. Harry isn't sure when, or how, or even why it happened, but one day, Louis got a girlfriend. Eleanor Calder. Louis started pulling away from Harry. He was still close to the other boys, but he distanced himself from Harry. The curly-haired boy didn't know what he'd done wrong, why Louis was treating him so differently, but Harry knew the light was leaving his life. Harry liked to compare Louis to a comet. A comet is a beautiful thing, something rare. It brings light and is only there fleetingly. Just like Louis. Harry knew he'd never find someone like Louis Tomlinson again in his life, but maybe, maybe if he waits long enough, his comet will return and light up the darkness of his life once more.
Harry sighs. He loves Louis. He really does. He loves him more than anything. But now his comet is gone. His comet, his light, has disappeared, leaving his world in the darkness it was before Louis came into his life. When he's with Louis, Harry feels empty inside now. The light and love and happiness he felt from the older boy when Louis was near has all but disappeared.
"Harry, are you okay?" someone says, voice soft, concerned.
Harry's head snaps up. Liam is standing beside his bunk, leaning down and giving him a worried look.
"'m fine, Li," Harry says, voice a bit rough from disuse, and smiles up at the older lad.
"Are you sure, Harry? You're crying," Liam points out gently.
Harry's hand reaches up and touches his own face, feeling the wetness on his fingertips. Harry curses quietly to himself and scrubs at his cheeks.
"Yeah, I-Yeah, 'm fine, Li. Don't worry about it," Harry replies, looking away from Liam.
Harry expects Liam to leave after that, but he doesn't. He surprises Harry when he climbs into the small bunk with Harry and lifts the boy easily, laying back and wrapping a strong arm around Harry and laying him on his chest. Harry looks up at Liam through his damp eyelashes as the older boy runs his fingers through the green-eyed boy's messy curls, for once out of one of his signature head scarves or pulled back into a bun.
"Li?" Harry questions softly.
"You know you can talk to me about anything, right, Hazza?"
Harry blinks and nods.
"I know, Liam, yeah."
"Then please tell me what's wrong. I hate seeing you in pain and not being able to help," Liam says quietly, looking down at Harry.
Harry is quiet as he looks up into Liam's eyes, searching them. All he sees in the man's eyes is concern.
"Li, I-I miss him..." Harry whispers.
"I know, Harry. I know," Liam says, not needing to ask who Harry is talking about.
"I just-I don't know why he's pulled away from me. What did I do wrong?" Harry's voice cracks on the last word.
"Oh, Hazza, babe, you didn't do anything wrong. You're perfect," Liam tells him, wrapping his arm tighter around Harry.
"Then why doesn't he love me, Liam? Why?" Harry asks, tears spilling down his cheeks.
"Oh, Harry," Liam breathes, tilting the boy's face up. "Harry, no. Don't say that. Everyone loves you, Harry. Even him. I love you, too, you know?"
"You-You do?" Harry asks, looking up at Liam with blurry eyes.
"Of course, Harry. I love you, Zayn loves you, Niall loves you, Louis loves you. We all love you, Harry. We hate it when you're hurting, all of us. I'll do whatever you want me to. I know how it feels to feel like the person you love doesn't love you in the same way."
"Really?" Harry asks in surprise, his tears clearing up a bit.
"Yeah. I've loved Zayn for as long as I can remember. Probably just as long as you've loved Lou. But I know that Zayn is happy with Perrie. I know my feelings are one-sided," Liam says sadly, his smile a bit wistful.
"Li, I love you. I really do. I'm sure Zayn loves you, too. I mean, I've seen how you two act around each other," Harry tells him, smiling slightly.
"You think so? I've seen the way you and Lou used to act around each other, too. I thought for sure that he loved you, too, but then Eleanor came into the picture. I don't know what happened, Harry. One minute you two were super close, and then he had a girlfriend and acted like he was just in a band with you, not even necessarily friends."
"Same with Zayn. I don't know what happened, either. He hasn't really pulled away from you, though. At least, not as much as Louis has with me..." Harry trails off.
"Harry, it'll all work out. I promise." Liam smiles, pressing a chaste kiss to Harry's lips.
Harry's eyes widen at that. Liam is kissing him, but why? Harry decides he doesn't care and melts into the kiss, pressing into it and closing his eyes, lifting one of his hands to cup Liam's strong jaw.
"Harry, Liam, are you back he-What the fuck?"
Harry and Liam break their kiss and turn with wide eyes to the voice. They see Zayn standing there, his eyes equally wide as he stares at the boys cuddled up in Harry's bunk.
For a few seconds, nobody says anything, and then Louis walks into the room.
"Zayn, what's the matter? Why'd you yell?" Louis asks.
Zayn wordlessly points to Harry and Liam. Louis looks in their direction and seems to freeze for a moment before he forces a smile. Harry knows it's forced, since it doesn't reach his eyes.
"What, are you two together now, or something?" Louis says, his voice tense with false cheer.
Harry looks at Liam, who is still staring in shock at Zayn. Harry gets an idea and quickly crawls up Liam's body to whisper in the older boy's ear.
"How about it, Li? You wanna get together?"
Harry pulls back a bit to look at Liam. He's quiet for a few moments as he stares at Harry before he nods.
"Yeah. Yeah, we are," Liam says, looking away from Harry to the other boys.
Harry looks too and sees that Zayn seems to have snapped out of his shock and is standing there with a blank face, his fist clenching and unclenching at his side.
"Well, I'm happy for you, lads," Louis says, his eyes flashing with something Harry can't name, his voice still tense.
Harry looks at Liam and smiles before pecking the older boy on the lips. When he pulls back, Liam has a fond look in his eyes.
"Love you, Li," Harry smiles, feeling his eyes go soft.
"Love you, too, Hazza," Liam replies, smiling back at the younger boy and hugging him close.
"Well, we came to tell you two that we brought food back, so when you two are done, come and get it or Niall will eat it all," Zayn says, voice carefully blank.
Harry and Liam don't look away from each other as they nod.
"We'll be out in a bit, lads. Harry and I have something we need to sort out," Liam replies, giving the curly-haired boy a weighted look.
"Woah, too much information, Liam!" Louis exclaims, his voice just a bit too harsh to be joking, throwing his hands up in the air and walking off, Zayn right behind him.
When the door shuts, Liam pecks Harry on the lips and turns them over on their sides, so they can get more comfortable. Once that is done, Liam looks at Harry.
"So, what's this all about, Harry? Why'd you suddenly want to be in a relationship?" Liam asks.
"I-Uh-Well, they seemed to be kinda pissed off when they caught us, and we know they aren't homophobic in the least, so I thought maybe if we're in a relationship, we could make them jealous? And if not, well, maybe it would help us move on?" Harry says, voice tiny and quiet.
Liam pauses and considers. After a few moments, he nods.
"Yeah, okay. Sounds like a plan. So we just act really couple-y and stuff, yeah?"
Harry nods with a small smile on his face.
"Okay, love. Let's go and snag us some men!" Liam giggles, pulling Harry up against his chest with both arms as he gets out of the bunk, holding the younger boy tight against him to keep from dropping him.
Harry giggles in return as Liam hoists him over his shoulder like he's a sack of potatoes, carrying him like that out of the room to the lounge area of the bus, where they can hear laughing and talking. When they walk in, the sounds stop. Then, Niall breaks the silence with an elated grin.
"So, I hear you two are together, now?"
"Yeah, Ni. We are," Liam grins, patting Harry's bum and laughing when the boy squeals.
"Liam! You know how I feel about that! Don't start anything you won't finish," Harry says, and Liam can hear the pout in his voice.
Liam just laughs and lets the boy down from his shoulder so he can sit at the table, only for Harry to climb into Liam's lap when the older lad sits down and curl around him like a big, lazy cat. Liam feeds Harry and himself while he talks to Niall, who asks all kinds of questions about their relationship.
"So, when did you two get together?" Niall asks around a mouthful of food.
"This morning, actually. Harry was upset earlier, and when I comforted him, he confessed. I told him I loved him and then we kissed and it was great," Liam says animatedly, squeezing Harry around the waist where one of his arms is slung and looking down at the boy with a sly look in his eyes, knowing he's speaking the complete and utter truth.
"That's beautiful, Li. I'll admit, I wasn't expecting you two t' get together. If anything, I expected you and Zayn, and Harry and Lou t' get together. What do that fans call it? Larry and Ziam?" Niall shrugs, swallowing. "Regardless, I'm happy for ya, lads!"
"Thank you, Niall!" Harry beams at the blonde boy, knowing his dimples are showing for the first time in a while. "Li and I really love each other. Of course," Harry adds, glancing covertly at Liam, then Zayn and Louis, who have been silently eating this whole time, before continuing in the most serious voice he can manage, "Zayn and Lou are a little too late. Took too long to woo us, so we moved on to each other."
Liam chokes on a laugh, his body shaking with it, and Harry as well. Harry glances over at Zayn and Louis and has to hold in his own laugh at their almost pained expressions, their eyes wide and their jaws loose. Instead, Harry buries his grin in Liam's neck, deciding to lick and suck and nip at it while he's there. Liam goes rigid under him for a moment before melting, his hands coming up to thread through Harry's curls and tugging lightly, encouragingly as he tilts his head to the side to give Harry more access to his throat. Harry wonders briefly if Liam is a bottom as well before he sets to work on sucking a dark bruise into the skin of Liam's neck, one that is easily coverable, given their occupation. Liam gives a strangled noise at that, tugging a little harder at Harry's curls and making Harry moan quietly against Liam's neck.
"Jesus, fuck, lads! Are you gonna fuck in front of us, or what?" Niall's voice says, his voice shaking with laughter.
Harry blinks as he pulls away from Liam, who makes a small noise at the loss. Harry looks up at Liam, whose eyes are fluttering open, to see that his eyes are a bit glazed from pleasure. Harry leans down to press his lips to Liam's gently, the kiss chaste. Liam kisses back just as soft, and when Harry pulls back, Liam's eyes match his kiss.
"Come on, Li. Let's go have a romp in the back, yeah?" Harry teases, a smile on his face.
Liam groans and picks up Harry, his hands curling under the curly-haired boy's arse. Liam slides out of the booth and stands, Harry wrapping his legs around Liam's waist and his arms around Liam's neck. Liam makes sure to squeeze Harry's bum in clear view of Zayn and Louis before he walks them to the back of the bus, initiating another kiss, this time a bit more passionate, with tongue. Harry moans loudly into the kiss when Liam squeezes his arse, grinding his hips against Liam's firm stomach at get some friction on his erection he hadn't really noticed until now. Liam, in turn, moans into Harry's mouth at feeling it, squeezing Harry's arse again.
Harry makes a small noise of surprise as his back hits something soft, opening his eyes to see the top of a bunk above him. Harry moans quietly when Liam slides in over top of him, closing the curtain and shrouding the bunk in relative darkness before kissing Harry again. Harry moans into the kiss when Liam starts to grind down against Harry, providing delicious friction and letting the curly-haired boy know that Liam is just as hard as Harry.
"Mmm, Li, wanna blow you," Harry gasps out when he pulls away from the older boy's lips.
"God, yeah, yeah, Haz. Wanna blow you, too," Liam moans back.
"Sixty-nine?" Harry asks, looking up at Liam.
"Fuck, yeah, Harry, shit."
Harry laughs at Liam's uncharacteristic language and begins wiggling out of his shirt while Liam does the same. The bunk isn't very large, but Liam has enough room to sit up almost all of the way as he pulls his shirt off, throwing it out of the bunk along with Harry's when the green-eyed boy manages it. Liam, ever the helpful lad, unbuttons Harry's jeans for him and peels them off his legs, throwing those out of the bunk as well before slipping his joggers off and doing the same. Clad only in their boxers, Harry reaches up for Liam's neck and pulls him down into a heated kiss, groaning quietly when the action causes their erections to brush again, feeling so much better without as many layers. When Liam finally breaks the kiss, they are both panting, the enclosed space heating up quickly.
"Let's get started, yeah? I'll be on top. You can finger me, too, if you want," Harry offers, shrugging like it doesn't matter, even though he can feel his cheeks flushing darker.
Liam gasps softly and kisses Harry quick and dirty, flipping them so that he's on the bottom with Harry straddling him.
"Yeah, yeah, Hazza. Fuck," Liam pants out, his eyes dark. "You can-You can, too, if you-if you like."
Harry moans loudly, surprised, and quickly turns around as best he can so that he's facing Liam's boxer-clad erection and his arse is in Liam's face. Harry quickly pulls Liam's pants down, with a little help from the boy under him, who raises his hips, and tosses them in the corner of the bunk, squeaking quietly as Liam pulls Harry's pants down as well, tickling his sensitive thighs. Harry lifts his legs helpfully, one at a time, at Liam's direction, and then both boys are bare to each other.
"Is this-Is this your bunk?" Harry asks, looking over his shoulder at Liam, who is staring at his arse.
"Yeah," Liam replies absently as he caresses Harry's bum.
"Fuck, do you-do you have any lube?" Harry gasps out, his arms shaking a bit.
"Yeah, yeah, I-Here," Liam mumbles, pulling out a bottle from under his pillow and handing it to Harry, also taking the time to pull his knees up on either side of Harry's head.
Harry pops the cap and coats some of his fingers before passing it back to Liam. Before Liam can even do anything, Harry grips Liam's cock in his dry hand and surrounds the head with his lips, delighting in the surprised moan that spills from Liam's lips. Harry hums softly around Liam's cock as he lowers his chest down onto Liam's body, keeping his arse in the air, and brings his slick fingers down to rub against Liam's entrance, soothing circles to help relax the muscles. Liam makes a soft whimper and quickly follows Harry's lead, taking Harry's cock into his mouth and sucking harshly as he wets Harry's hole.
Harry is the first to slide a finger into Liam. He goes slow, so as not to surprise the boy, but all he gets in response is Liam pushing back on his finger impatiently and making the finger go all the way in. Harry moans at that, and again when Liam reciprocates. Harry starts wiggling his finger in Liam's hole, trying to coat his insides with the lube, and finally gets it when Liam, yet again, reciprocates. So, that's how it's going to be.
They go on for a while like this, copying each other when one does something new. Harry finds that he quite likes this, fingering Liam and sucking his cock, even though he's a natural bottom. Liam must agree, too, since he is making all of these noises around Harry's cock. Finally, after what feels like forever, Liam pulls away from Harry's cock, thrusting the three fingers he has inside Harry extra hard to make up for the loss of stimulation. Harry finds himself doing the same, without a thought.
"You close, Haz?" Liam asks, and fuck, his voice sounds absolutely wrecked.
"Fuck, I-Yeah, Li. I-Ngh!" Harry whimpers as he cums, Liam's fingers having hit his prostate head on, with force.
"Fuck, Harry-" Liam chokes off his words and thrusts back on Harry's fingers, chasing his own orgasm, but also continuing to move his own fingers inside of Harry to work him through his.
Harry, despite his orgasm-induced daze, quickly fits his lips around Liam's cock, sucking hard, and is pleased when Liam cums with a strangled shout, flooding Harry's mouth with cum. The curly-haired boy swallows eagerly, milking Liam's orgasm with his fingers and his mouth. When Liam starts whimpering quietly from oversensitivity, but makes no move to push Harry off, Harry pulls off, making a mental note to ask him about that later. Harry slowly pulls his fingers out of Liam and Liam does the same, but Harry still winces slightly at the stimulation. Harry doesn't complain when Liam hoists Harry up, being careful not to make Harry hit his head as he pulls the boy back up to the head of the bunk. Harry flops his arm down on Liam's chest and is surprised to feel wetness. Oh, yeah.
"Here, let me clean you up," Harry whispers, his voice fucked out, as he leans down and starts licking up his own cum from Liam's chest.
"Fuck, Harry!" Liam gasps, still out of breath.
When the mess is all gone, Harry lingers, flicking his tongue against Liam's hard nipples one at a time, and delights in the whine it pulls from Liam's throat, the older boy's hands coming up to tangle in Harry's curls and tug him up, where Liam kisses him roughly, his tongue licking into Harry's mouth. When they separate, both boys are breathless, staring at each other. The bunk is quiet, aside from their labored breathing, and Harry decides to break the silence.
"So... That was fun," Harry says, grinning.
Liam laughs, sounding surprised, but pleased.
"Yeah, it really was. I wouldn't mind doing it again sometime," Liam replies.
Harry smiles and cuddles up to Liam, burying his face in Liam's neck.
"Love you, Li," Harry whispers against his skin.
"Love you, too, Hazza," Liam whispers back, running his hands through Harry's hair.
After a while, Harry breaks the comfortable silence again.
"We should get a shower or something," Harry says quietly, looking up at Liam.
"Yeah, we should, but I don't want to. I kind of want to walk out there and see how Zayn and Louis react to both of us looking so clearly fucked out," Liam chuckles.
Harry grins up at the older boy.
"You have the best ideas, Li! Let's go!" Harry giggles.
Liam laughs in return and both boys struggle to get their boxers on, the only clothing still in the bunk. When they've done that, Liam slides out of the bunk and helps Harry out, ever the gentleman. Harry rewards him with a filthy grin. When Liam gives him a questioning looks, Harry just grabs his hand and pulls him out to the front of the bus.
"You know, I never pegged you for a bottom, Liam," Harry teases loudly, glancing towards the front of the bus where Zayn, Louis, and Niall still sit.
Liam flushes, but shoots back, "I kind of knew you were a bottom, Harry. Always following orders, that exhibitionist streak of yours. It was actually kind of obvious."
When Liam finishes, they've reached the table and everyone is staring at them with wide eyes, quiet. Liam and Harry look up, like they've just noticed them, and look at them curiously, taking a seat beside each other. Niall, as always, is the first to break the silence.
"Fuck, I didn't think you'd actually go fuck! How does that work anyways? You're both bottoms?"
Harry and Liam look at each other, matching mischievous looks in their eyes.
"Well, it's quite simple, really. We take turns fucking each other. Harry has this amazingly short refractory period," Liam says, grinning filthily.
"And Liam's into overstimulation," Harry jabs back.
"Whoa, fuck, TMI, mate!" Niall laughs.
"You're the one that asked," Harry points out.
"Wait, aren't you guys moving a little fast? You did just get together this morning," Louis points out, his voice hard.
"Well, actually, we did just officially get together this morning. We've been fucking for months, though," Harry shrugs, like it's no big deal, catching Liam's eye.
"Wait, fuck, really? How did we not know about this?" Zayn asks, his brow furrowed like he's actually deeply troubled by this.
Liam catches Harry's eye and winks.
"We're good at keeping a secret," Liam says, going along with it.
"Yeah. Bet you guys didn't even know we liked boys," Harry adds.
"Harry, it wasn't really a secret you swung both ways," Niall chimes in.
Harry blinks slowly and laughs.
"Niall, I'm gay. I've never liked girls. I could kiss them and stuff, but I couldn't ever, like, have sex with one," Harry replies.
The table is quiet for a moment.
"Same for me, really. I actually tried to be with girls, like Danielle, but I could never, you know, have sex with them. Freaked me out. I wanted to be normal," Liam shrugs, like it doesn't matter.
"Li, being gay doesn't mean you're abnormal. It just means you have different preferences than a lot of people," Harry says quietly, never having known that Liam was struggling with his sexual identity.
"S'fine now, Hazza. I accepted it when I fell in love," Liam smiles fondly down at Harry.
"Wait, sorry to break up your little moment, but Harry, what about Caroline and Taylor? You dated them, didn't you?" Louis cuts in, sounding genuinely confused.
Harry is quiet for a moment, wondering just how much he should reveal.
"Caroline was, like, a really good friend. We never did anything, and when we spent the night together, we just talked about boys we liked and stuff. I really hate how people attacked her, saying she was too old for me and stuff. She was a sweet woman, but I never had a sexual interest in her," Harry says, trying to avoid talking about Taylor.
"What about Taylor? You actually kissed her," Louis adds, his voice a bit harsh.
Harry bites his lip, not wanting to say anything, but he brought this on himself, he might as well answer the lads' questions.
"Taylor was... She was management's idea... I-I didn't really have a choice... I had to be with her, at least for a little while... I really kind of hated it. but I didn't have a say in the matter...," Harry says as quietly as he can, but with the silence, it sounds unbearably loud in his ears.
"What? Management made you get a beard?" Louis asks sharply, and when Harry looks up, he sees that Louis' eyes are like chips of ice.
Harry hesitantly nods, wondering why that makes Louis so angry.
"That's bullshit! Like, I know there were all of those Larry Stylinson rumors going around, but to actually make you get a beard? That's uncalled for! I-Wait, if you're gay, then what's your relationship with Nick? There were rumors about you dating him, as well," Louis says, his tone changing immediately from angry to slightly fearful for some reason Harry can't comprehend.
"Nick? We, um, we were just mates. He told me he had a crush on me, but respected my wishes when I told him I was already in love with someone, had been for years. He still teases me entirely too much about it, though," Harry says quietly.
"Well, he should stop now that you're with Liam," Louis mutters, sounding a bit bitter.
Before Harry can respond to that, Zayn, who has been quiet this entire time, speaks up.
"You're gay, too, Liam?"
Harry watches as Liam flushes under Zayn's serious gaze, beginning to fidget nervously beside Harry.
"Y-Yeah, always have been, I think. I only really accepted it when I realized I fell in love with a boy, that I'd never felt anything like that with a girl. I-Never mind, it doesn't matter," Liam abruptly cuts himself off, flushing darker.
"No, Liam, continue. You can't just leave us hanging," Zayn tells him, looking mildly suspicious now, which makes Harry nervous, too. Are they being too vague?
Liam takes a deep breath and continues.
"I knew I couldn't have him, though. I thought for sure he was straight, so I tried to be as well, despite my feelings for him, so I got with Danielle. She was really good to me, even though we weren't really any different than friends. I feel really bad about it, though. I felt like I was using her. Eventually, I 'broke up' with her, so she could have an actual relationship with someone who would treat her right, and the fans wouldn't think I was the wronged party if she was caught with another guy." Liam shrugs again, looking down and away from everyone.
Harry frowns, crawling into Liam's lap and taking his face into both of his obscenely large hands, forcing the older lad to look at him.
"You never told me that, babe," Harry says softly.
Liam looks up at that and stares at the boy quietly for a moment.
"To be fair, you never told me about Caroline and Taylor, either," Liam whispers quietly back.
"Li, I-There were very specific reasons I went out with Taylor. You know that. You know how much it hurts to love from afar and never think you could have the one you're in love with," Harry says quietly, his voice cracking a bit and tears beginning to fill his eyes as he thinks of Louis again.
"Oh, Hazza, it's okay. Shh, don't cry, babe," Liam soothes, pulling the younger boy to his chest. "It's okay, Harry. I understand. I'll be here for you if they don't want us, okay?" Liam whispers this into Harry's ear as quietly as he can.
Harry nods silently against Liam's chest, trying to hold his tears in.
"What do you mean, 'I'll be here for you if they don't want us'? Are you saying you're not in love with each other?" A harsh voice cuts in.
Harry flinches and turns his head around as best he can, seeing Zayn staring at them suspiciously and Louis looking surprised.
"I-I-Li and I love each other," Harry tries weakly, wincing when he hears the tremble in his voice.
"But are you in love with each other, Harold?" Louis asks this time, his voice just as sharp as Zayn's a few moments ago.
"I wish we were... It would hurt so much less if we were..." Harry whispers, immediately slapping a hand over his mouth when he realizes what he just said.
Harry begins to panic, squirming in Liam's arms and trying to run and hide. He can't deal with this. When he thought it was just a joke, when it was just teasing, it was fine, but now that it's serious, he can't handle it. Harry hides his face in Liam's neck as he feels the tears begin to fall, feeling his shoulders start to shake.
"Oh, fuck..." Harry hears Niall whisper harshly. "I was right, wasn't I? Shit..."
Harry hears a strangled sound leave his throat and feels Liam stiffen against him, going completely motionless.
The room is silent. Harry can't hear anything beyond his own racing heart and fast, shallow breaths. Harry is quick on his way to having a full blown panic attack, and he isn't sure anything can prevent it.
"Is he right, Harold? Are you two in love with us?" Harry hears Louis say distantly, a tone in his voice that Harry can't identify at this moment.
Harry's breathing stops before a sob is wrenched painfully from his throat. The sound is undeniably loud and pathetic to Harry's ears, and it's only after a few seconds that he realizes that he's babbling through his tears, apologizing over and over again, his voice hoarse and croaky.
Harry doesn't know what's going on when he loses his balance, pulled away from Liam and lifted up into strong, yet straining, arms. His eyes are shut, and he's too frightened to open his eyes. Harry only opens his eyes when he's set down on something soft, a hand on the back of his head guiding him down. Harry sees wood over his head and sheets underneath him, so he's in a bunk, but he refuses to look at the person beside him, having a strong suspicion as to who it is. That suspicion is confirmed when the person speaks.
"Harry, please look at me, love," Louis says, voice soft.
Harry pointedly turns his head away, biting his lower lip hard.
"Hazza, look at me. We really need to talk," Louis tries again, this time laying a small hand on Harry's face to turn the boy towards him.
Harry reluctantly looks up at Louis, bracing himself for the worst as he nibbles on his lower lip nervously, absent-mindedly noticing that his tears have stopped. Louis is staring hard at Harry with an expression Harry can't define, but he doesn't look angry at least, from what Harry can tell.
"Harry," Louis begins, then stops, like he's trying to find the right words to say, something that surprises Harry. The Louis he knows is brash and full of energy, never taking anything seriously and always saying what's on his mind, regardless of whether or not it gets him into trouble. Seeing Louis being so careful puts Harry on edge, causing Harry to sit up, being careful not to hit his head on the top of the bunk(whose bunk it is, he can't say), and pull his long legs up to his chest, hunching over them as he wraps his arms protectively around them, belatedly realizing he's still nearly naked.
Louis looks up at him in surprise before he jumps into action.
"Hazza, I-I need to know if you have feelings for me?" Louis says, though the way his voice lilts up at the end uncertainly makes it sound like a question.
Harry continues to chew his lip as he looks over at Louis, wondering if he should tell him the truth, before deciding that he's tired of his comet having been away so long, tired of waiting for Louis to return to him.
Harry releases his lower lip, watching as Louis' eyes follow the movement and dilate ever so slightly, and nods.
"I love you, Lou. Always have."
Louis takes a shaky breath in and nods.
"What kind of love? Like, friend love, brother love? Or, like, lover love?" Louis asks, sounding more awkward than Harry can ever remember Louis being.
"I... I'm in love with you, Louis. I love you like a lover," Harry replies slowly, hoping he's not going to regret this.
Louis nods again and is silent, looking like he's trying to gather his thoughts. The longer the silence stretches on between them, the more nervous Harry gets. Harry begins to squirm slightly, suddenly remembering what happened less than an hour ago when he does, feeling the slight looseness of his hole and the remaining lube from earlier. Harry feels himself flush, embarrassed, when he realizes what extent he'd go to, just to get Louis' attention.
"I suppose I should be truthful with you," Louis begins, breaking into Harry's thoughts. Harry looks over at Louis, bringing his bottom lip back between his teeth to worry it and watching as Louis takes a deep breath. "I knew from our first meeting that you were special. Before I'd met you, no one sparked my interest. Everyone was more or less the same, and it was boring, but when I walked into the bathroom before my audition to try to scrounge up some inspiration for my song choice and saw this young, curly-haired boy stressing out and washing his face, something happened. Something changed inside of me. I decided to talk to him, but didn't know what to say, so I was stood to the side of him for a while before he splashed me with water by mistake. When he looked up at me for the first time, my heart skipped a beat. When I heard him speak for the first time, I couldn't breathe. I was instantly charmed by you, Hazza."
Harry can't help but feel his cheeks flush when he hears Louis say those embarrassing, sappy things, but before the green-eyed boy can even open his mouth to try to piece together a reply, Louis continues.
"When you introduced yourself to me, all formal-like, I couldn't help myself. I laughed. I laughed in a way I hadn't in years, with no reservations. I couldn't help flirting with you a bit, even encouraging you, even though I didn't know how well you sang. It was only after I had left and realized that I had my inspiration to sing that I knew. I knew at that moment that you were special, but it wasn't until later, when I heard you sing for the first time, that I knew just how special. I may have been lurking about in the audience waiting for you to audition after I did." Louis laughs, explaining when he sees Harry's questioning look.
"Afterwards, when we were in boot camp, I watched you. I had spent the entire day trying to work up the courage to talk to you when I asked you for your autograph. And you were so surprised, like you'd never expected me to talk to you again, let alone ask for your autograph. I'll admit, I was surprised myself when you asked for my autograph in return, but I couldn't help laughing again, the same laugh from before. It was at that time that I knew that if I had to separate from you, I wouldn't be the same, as cliché as that sounds. To be honest, I was crushed when neither of us got through. I knew that we'd most likely never meet again, and I wasn't sure how to handle that. I sort of ran away after I got the news, hiding out so I could get ahold of myself, so I didn't start crying. I didn't really know why, at the time, why you had such an effect on me, and even now, I'm sort of baffled by it, but what I did know was that you were unlike any other human being I had ever met. I remember, quite a few times I wondered if you even were human, because you were just so sweet and cute and innocent all the time, but then later on, when you were getting all of that hate on Twitter and broke down, I knew that you weren't any different than me. Well, you were, as in you were so much of a better person than me, but-" Louis suddenly cuts himself off and clears his throat, letting silence fall around them as he gathers his thoughts.
"Anyways, one of the staff had to come find me to bring me back when they were calling all the boys and girls together. I was nervous, to be honest. I didn't know what they wanted, why we were being called back after we got rejected, but when we were told we were being put into a group, I was over the moon. Honestly, I never expected to see you again, so being put into a group with you, where we would undoubtedly spend more time together, was exciting. By this point, I stopped questioning it, my feelings for you, and started flirting more blatantly. I was happy when you responded to my flirting, but I always wondered if you were just being friendly. Like, I knew your reputation with all of those girls during boot camp, so I couldn't help but feel like you were just humoring me or something. I decided I didn't really care, and kept flirting with you. After X-Factor, when we were really close, I was called in by management. They told me that I needed to tone things down with you, that I needed to stop the Larry rumors from spreading even further. Naturally, I was totally against it. I wasn't going to let them dictate how I interacted with you for anything, because you made me happy. And for a while, I was able to fight it. I was able to keep my relationship with you the way it had always been, but then they found a way to manipulate me. They threatened me, telling me that they'd make you date women they chose for PR purposes if I didn't give in to their demands. I just- I didn't want that for you, Hazza, so I did what they wanted me to, even though it hurt me and I know it hurt you, too. That's when Eleanor came in. I had to pretend to be in a relationship with her and limit my interactions with you to near inexistence. That's why I was so angry when I heard that management had gotten to you, too, that they made you date Taylor. But, Harry, I was more or less fine with it when I thought you were straight. I had come to terms with the fact that I could never have you in the exact way I wanted you, so when I found out about you and Liam, and that you two had sex, quite often, behind my back, I was shocked and hurt. I wondered why you wanted Liam and not me. I just-Hazza, I want you to know that I'm in love with you, too. I always have been."
Harry opens and closes his mouth for several moments, unsure of what to make of what all he just heard. Louis-Louis is in love with him? Harry's mind blanks out from that one, single thought. As a result, he doesn't think before he speaks.
"Liam and I weren't actually sleeping together."
Harry dazedly watches as Louis starts, his body jolting like he's been shocked.
"You what?" Louis asks. "But-But what about-" Louis cuts himself off and gesticulates to Harry's person.
Harry feels his cheeks flush as he's reminded.
"Li and I, uh, we decided to 'start a relationship' this morning to get you and Zayn jealous, and didn't mind finding mutual pleasure with each other for that, so we sort of fingered each other and exchanged blowjobs?" Harry's voice trails up at the end, making his statement sound like a question.
Louis stares blankly at Harry, for so long that the green-eyed boy is getting nervous. Harry fidgets again, only to be reminded once more of his activities earlier today. Harry feels the heat flood his face again in embarrassment as he firmly clenches his legs together. Liam used entirely too much lube.
Harry is startled out of his thoughts by Louis' laughter. Harry looks up with wide eyes, wondering why on earth Louis would be laughing at a time like this.
"So, let me get this straight: you two were never together?" Louis asks, once his laughter, which was really only a bark of a laugh, stopped.
Harry hesitantly nods, not understanding what is going on in Louis' head.
"So, you were trying to make me jealous, yeah?" Louis says, his eyes glinting dangerously.
Harry nods again, feeling anxiety start to fill him, but excitement, too.
"Well, it worked, Curly. And I think it's time I got my revenge," Louis says.
Before Harry can even register Louis' words, he finds himself on his back, his wrists crossed and held above his head, and Louis hovering over him. Harry swallows harshly as he feels his cock twitch with interest.
"I'm going to fuck you, Harry," Louis says casually. "I'm going to fuck you and you're not going to cum until I say you can. Understand?"
Harry nods eagerly, wanting to please Louis, but also because he wants Louis to fuck him.
"Good. You're also not allowed to touch yourself. I will tie you up if I have to," Louis says seriously, giving Harry a weighted look.
Harry swallows thickly and nods again.
As soon as Harry nods, fingers are slipping under his boxers and pulling them down, with no input from Harry whatsoever. As soon as his pants pass his bum, he feels a cool breeze on the sticky lube from earlier, causing Harry to shiver and turn red in embarrassment. Harry looks up at Louis and sees him staring between Harry's legs, not at his cock, which is lying hard and hot against his stomach, but lower, at his slick hole. Harry tries to close his legs in embarrassment, but Louis stops him by forcing both legs apart and flat against the bed. Louis gives him a look and Harry nods, letting the older boy know silently that he won't try to close them again.
"You're very wet, Harry," Louis comments dryly. "Someone use too much lube?"
Harry turns his face to the side in embarrassment, once again reminded of how desperate he is and how far he'd go for Louis. That's why it comes as a surprise when two fingers breach him suddenly. Harry gasps out in shock.
"You're also pretty loose. I could just fuck you right now, no prep, and you'd be perfectly fine."
Harry nods eagerly, wanting Louis inside him desperately.
"I won't, though. I'll prep you until you're near tears, on the edge of orgasm, desperate to cum, but not allowed to. I'll make sure you're so sore tomorrow, you'll never forget who made you that way."
The way Louis sounds, so possessive and in control, makes Harry's heart skip a beat and his cock pulse in need.
"Lou, please! Need you!" Harry says shakily.
"Begging already, Hazza? That's a shame. I thought you could last longer than that," Louis says coolly, twisting his fingers harshly inside of Harry and brushing his prostate.
Harry lets out a small, choked dry-sob. He wants to be good for Louis, he wants to last for him, but it feels so good, he doesn't know if he can. He'll try, though. He will. For Louis.
Harry bites his lip and turns his head to the side, closing his eyes so that he doesn't start crying. He can't stop himself from crying out, however, when a third finger is added and is screwed harshly into his prostate. Harry bites his lip even harder, determined to be good for Louis.
Harry is surprised when he feels a soft hand against his cheek, turning his face. Harry opens his eyes and looks up to see Louis staring at him with a soft expression.
"Do you want me to stop? I can just make love to you instead of all of this. You don't have to go through with this because I want it. It's important that you want it, too, love," Louis explains softly.
Harry stares at Louis in surprise. He feels as though he's just woken up from something abruptly, a soft, fuzzy place where the only thing on his mind was Louis. Harry doesn't know what it was, but he liked it. He felt safe and loved by Louis in that place, even though he felt like he was disappointing Louis.
"I-I wanna continue. I like having to work for it," Harry whispers, his voice unable to go any louder.
Louis regards him for a moment longer and then nods, trusting Harry's judgment. His face quickly falls back into the calm, collected expression it was before and Harry feels himself float back into that soft place slowly. He's more calm now, not quite as on edge and desperate, and he takes everything Louis gives him with quiet noises escaping near-constantly. Before long, though, Harry feels himself get closer to the edge.
"Close, Lou," Harry breathes.
Louis continues to stretch Harry for a few more seconds, letting the younger boy get to the very edge, and then, all of a sudden, he stops. He stops moving his fingers and just waits. Harry whines as he teeters on the edge for a few long, agonizing seconds, and then feels it back away. Harry's never been denied release like that before, and he's not sure how he feels about it.
After Harry's breathing slows, Louis starts moving his fingers again, rubbing relentlessly against Harry's prostate, slowly building the boy back up. Harry gets to the edge much quicker this time, and Harry can't even warn Louis this time, but he seems to know anyways since right when Harry gets to the edge again, he stops. Harry teeters on the edge for longer this time, it seems, but finally, it backs away again.
Over and over again, Louis repeats the process, pulling away completely a couple of times to re-lube his fingers when things get a little too dry. By the time Louis pulls Harry away from the edge for the seventh time, Harry is openly crying, begging for Louis to let him cum. After Harry backs away from his orgasm again, Louis pulls his fingers out of Harry and wipes them carelessly on the sheets beside him. Harry cries out at the loss, begging for them back, but Louis just chuckles and shakes his head.
"No, Hazza. I'm gonna fuck you now. I want you to cum from me fucking you, love," Louis says softly as he begins to undress, fumbling a bit with the button on his jeans in his haste to be skin on skin with Harry.
Before he tosses his jeans away, he pulls his wallet out and takes a condom from it. When Harry sees it, he shakes his head vehemently.
"No! No condom. Wanna feel you," Harry says quickly.
"Are you sure, love? I mean, I'm clean, never slept with someone without a condom, but are you sure you want to?"
"Never been with anyone, Lou. 'M clean," Harry tells him, looking the older man in the eyes.
Louis' breath catches before he throws the condom out of the bunk, slicking himself up quickly. He guides himself to Harry's thoroughly stretched hole and looks up at Harry, waiting for him to nod before he begins to push in.
Harry gasps as he feels the stretch of Louis' cock breaching him. It feels different than fingers, much different. Thicker, stiffer, more solid, just more, somehow. It doesn't even hurt like Harry thought it would. Maybe it's because Louis stretched him for so long, but there's no pain, just a slight discomfort as he tries to adjust to the strange, new feeling.
Harry buries his head into Louis' shoulder, wrapping his arms around his back and digging his nails in slightly, waiting out the adjustment. It's something he hasn't experienced in a long time, so used to fingering himself that he hardly ever feels the need to slow down if he doesn't want to. This is different, bigger somehow, and not just because Louis is well-endowed. No, it's bigger in the way that he's giving the love of his life his virginity, the person he's loved for four years now. Harry feels tears fill his eyes.
Louis must feel it against his skin or something, because he pulls Harry's head back gently and looks at him worriedly.
"Are you okay, Harry? Why are you crying, love? Does it hurt? Do you want me to pull out? I'll pull out-"
Louis starts to pull out, but Harry quickly wraps his legs around the older man's waist to prevent him from moving.
"Doesn't hurt, Lou. Feels good. I've just been wanting this for years, and now that I have it, I'm just a bit emotional," Harry explains as best he can, without sounding like a total sap.
Louis stops and stares at Harry.
"How long, Harry? Tell me, how long have you loved me?" Louis asks, his voice trembling a bit with emotion.
"Four years. Since we met. I've loved you all along, and I've waited for you. I would have waited for you my entire life," Harry says, his throat starting to close up as tears swim in his vision.
Louis makes a choked sound before he asks, voice stilted, "Can I move now, Hazza? Please tell me I can move."
"Please," is all Harry has to say for Louis to begin moving.
It starts off slow and gentle, Louis only pulling back halfway before he pushes back in softly, like Louis is afraid of breaking Harry, but after a few minutes of this, Harry is desperate for more, for faster and harder and deeper.
"More," Harry rasps. "Please, Lou, more."
Like he was waiting for Harry to ask, Louis begins to set a punishing pace, pulling out nearly all the way and then slamming back in, circling his hips when he does, searching for Harry's prostate. Harry moans loudly, surprised, when Louis hits it dead on, and then Louis aims for there with each thrust, missing sometimes, but Harry wouldn't have it any other way.
Harry doesn't know how long it goes on, the consummation of their love - which sounds embarrassing even in Harry's own mind - before Harry feels that familiar heat coiling tighter and tighter in his abdomen.
"Close," Harry breathes. "Please, Lou, touch me."
Louis just shakes his head and somehow, impossibly, quickens his pace. Frustrated, Harry moves to wank himself off, but before he can even fully wrap his fingers around his weeping erection, Louis' hand grips Harry's wrist and yanks it away, his hold like steel.
"No, Hazza. Want you to cum just from this, just from me inside you. Can you do that for me, love?" Louis asks, his voice breathy and tight with his own impending orgasm.
Harry nods quickly, and when he does, Louis releases Harry's wrist and intertwines their fingers together and holds on tight, staring down at Harry with a look so full of love, Harry is suddenly on edge.
Harry feels the heat coil tighter and tighter, and then, impossibly tighter. The younger man knows that it won't take much more for it to snap, and he's proven correct when, with one final, harsh jab at his prostate, he cums. It seems to last forever, having been denied orgasm for so long, and somewhere in there, Harry registers Louis' long groan before Harry feels wet heat fill him. Harry moans loudly at feeling it, the proof of Louis' pleasure, explode inside of him.
After Harry finally comes down, he looks up at Louis and sees his eyes are starting to clear up, too. When Louis starts to pull out, Harry whines and clamps his legs around Louis' waist weakly.
"No," Harry says quietly. "Want you to stay inside me for a bit longer."
Louis laughs and plops down on Harry, not minding that he's getting covered in Harry's drying cum, but does indeed stay inside of him. Harry lets out a gasp as the air rushes from his lungs and glares at the man on top of him. Louis just laughs again and props himself up a bit on his arms, staring down at Harry with bright eyes.
"I love you," Louis whispers.
"I love you, too," Harry whispers back.
Then, Louis swoops down and connects their lips in their first kiss. Harry makes a small noise of surprise before he melts into it, returning the soft, chaste kiss. It ends much too soon, as far as Harry is concerned, but suddenly, he finds himself on his side facing the bunk curtain with Louis behind him, and Harry is actually pretty amazed and confused as to how it happened, but Louis is still inside of him and his arms are wrapped securely around Harry's waist. The younger man relaxes back into Louis and breathes a happy sigh as he threads the fingers of his right hand through the fingers of Louis' left.
Harry listens as Louis' breaths even out against the back of his neck, and when he's sure the older man is asleep, he whispers quietly into the air, "I'm glad you've finally returned to me, my beloved comet."