Lee Minho’s List of Worst Things He’s Ever Done
Last updated: 25 December 2020
1. Living together with Kim Seungmin
“We really can’t live together.”
Seungmin hums in agreement, as he shifts his feet and presses his cold toes against Minho’s thighs. Minho smacks his feet.
“I mean it. We really can’t.”
“Yeah, we really can’t,” Seungmin echoes, retracting his legs. He pauses for a moment, before shifting his body entirely and plops his head on Minho’s lap. “Should I tell the landlord that I’m moving out? Forfeit my deposit?”
“Yes,” Minho replies, completely seriously. He glares down at the man in his lap, who’s not even looking at him, but scrolling through his phone. “Get off me. Don’t cuddle, cuddling is creepy.”
“Okay,” Seungmin says, absentmindedly. “I’m not cuddling.”
Neither of them move; Minho just sighs aggressively, throwing his head back on the couch, pretending not to see the tiny smirk that’s found its way to Seungmin’s lips.
“You’re so annoying,” Minho grumbles, starting to run a hand through Seungmin’s hair. Seungmin doesn’t budge, just continues looking at his phone. “What’s up with your hair? It’s oilier than usual.”
“We ran out of shampoo,” Seungmin mumbles, finally putting his phone aside. “So I just didn’t bother.”
“You’re gross,” Minho decides, but he keeps his hand in Seungmin’s hair, twisting and twirling the strands. He accidentally yanks a piece of hair too hard, and Seungmin looks up at Minho, pouts at him. Seriously—even his lips are chapped and dry.
With his other hand, Minho prods at Seungmin’s lips, frowning. “Did you run out of lip balm too?”
“Maybe,” Seungmin says, lethargically. Then the smirk returns; his eyes glitter with something mischievous. “Although, I recently heard of one natural remedy for chapped lips.”
Minho knows nothing good is going to come out from those lips. But he allows himself to be baited anyway. “What is it?”
Seungmin’s smirk grows. He puckers up his stupidly chapped lips. “A kiss from my baby.”
Minho shoves him off his lap. Or, he makes a half-hearted attempt to. Seungmin barely budges from where he’s firmly planted himself on his lap, giggling away at his own joke.
“You think you’re so funny,” Minho fumes. “But you’re not, I’m telling you now, Kim Seungmin, you’re the least funny man on this planet.”
Seungmin catches sight of, what must be, Minho’s rapidly reddening ears, and his giggles evolve into laughter. “Aw, you’re so cute when you’re flustered, hyung.”
“Who said I’m flustered?!”
“Me,” Seungmin grins, puckering up his lips again. “Your baby.”
“That’s it.” Minho grabs Seungmin’s face and leans in, squishing his cheeks.
“Kiss?” Seungmin taunts, eyes gleeful.
Minho continues leaning in, up till their noses brush against each other’s—then he whispers: “I’m evicting you.”
Seungmin bursts out laughing, then, shoving Minho aside; and even Minho can’t stop himself from smiling at their nonsense. Seungmin barely quiets down after a few minutes, only to look Minho in the eye—and they start giggling again.
They end up spending the rest of the night just dissolving in laughter and making stupid eviction jokes, and Minho doesn’t even get to read any of his updated webtoons or watch his drama; and Seungmin doesn’t even get any of his work done.
Yeah, seriously, they’re terrible for each other. This is why they can never live with each other. Never.
(The next day, Seungmin finds the shampoo already replaced by the time he gets up at noon for a shower—and a bunch of lip balms stashed on their bathroom counter.
It’s when he’s returning to his room, done with his shower, hair shampooed and washed, and applied generous amounts of lip balm, that he sees the eviction notice taped on his room door.
Or, ‘eviction’ notice.
Seungmin snickers as he pulls the paper off and skims through it—Minho’s written something about him being too disruptive as a roommate, but, as expected, leaves the move-out date blank.
“What do you want for lunch?” Seungmin calls out, toweling his hair dry. “Before I move out and everything?”
Minho pokes his head out from his room at that moment. “Can we have chicken?”
“The Korean kind?”
“What’s chicken in Korean? Fried?”
Seungmin fixes him with an impressively deadpan stare, and starts looking for a pen. “Yeah, I’m moving out tomorrow.”)
2. Being stuck on a deserted island together with Kim Seungmin (ft. Lee Felix)
Seungmin’s lips are pressed in a thin line, and his eyes are blank. “Of course you have to bring shoes to a deserted island, what are you talking about?”
“Shoes aren’t important,” Minho argues back, gesturing wildly at his own laptop screen. “Your feet can protect themselves, the soles are thick enough. You need gloves. What if your hands get injured? Then you can’t even do anything!”
“Well, if your feet get injured, you can’t even move—”
“Then I’ll carry you, dumbass!”
Seungmin breathes out a long, suffering sigh. “If both our feet are injured, because we have no shoes, then how are you going to carry me?”
“I’ll drag you across the forest floor, then, my feet won’t be taken out just from a mere flesh wound—”
“I hate to interrupt you guys,” Felix sighs, his voice crackling over the call. “But I don’t think there’s shoes or gloves in this game.”
Minho blinks. He turns to face Seungmin, who just rolls his eyes at him.
“That’s stupid as fuck,” Minho says. Seungmin makes a noise of agreement. “It’s a survival game and they don’t have gloves or shoes? What kind of game is this?”
“A game I wanted to play for fun,” Felix mutters miserably.
“If it’s not realistic, then it’s not going to be fun,” Seungmin says, crossing his arms.
“Exactly,” Minho chimes in. “What kind of game doesn’t even have shoes?”
Felix lets out an aggravated sigh. “Well, let’s just try it out first, okay?”
The objective of the game was easy—they start off on a raft, floating away in the middle of the ocean, and they have to cooperate to find materials and survive.
“I’m the captain of the raft,” Minho declares.
“What?” Seungmin snaps, sounding offended. “I’m the captain of the raft.”
“I’m the one steering it!”
“The raft is steering by itself.”
“No it isn’t!”
Felix starts humming to A Whole New World to drain out their bickering.
It starts going downhill even more after they find an island.
Minho insists on staying with the raft, and ends up fighting with Seungmin for five minutes on who should go foraging in the deserted island instead.
It goes a little like this:
“Hyung, you literally equipped all of the defensive gear, so you should be the one going, what the hell?”
“That’s exactly why I shouldn’t be going! If I die, we lose everything—”
“Then give me all your equipment.”
“Did you even listen to what I was saying?! You never listen to me, Kim Seungmin!”
Felix sighs, again, the thirtieth-plus time he’s let one out in the past two hours alone. Dude, he just wanted to play a game, and he missed his friends, so he invited them to play, but—not like this. “I’ll go, okay?”
“Okay,” the both of them say, at the same time.
Felix heaves a sigh of relief (yes, again), and makes his character swim to the island, leaving the couple behind on their precious raft.
On hindsight, he should’ve known that he was making a grave mistake.
(“Is he back yet? Is he on his way?”
“I can’t see, Kim Seungmin,” Minho hisses, stretching out a leg to kick at his boyfriend sitting on the other end of the couch. “Move your person, he’s too tall.”
Seungmin snorts. “Just like in real life?”
“I have no problems beating your ass in real life, if that’s what you’re trying to say.”
“Gross,” Seungmin comments, then moves his avatar slightly. “Can you see now?”
Minho squints at his screen, and then: “wait, I think I see him, mute your mic, mute your mic—”
“It’s already muted—”
“Steer the raft, steer it!”
They watch as Felix’s avatar turns up on the beach, and pauses. Then, Felix’s voice comes through their call, sounding disoriented.
“Guys? Where’s the raft? Guys?”
Minho raises his hand for a high five, and when Seungmin meets his eye and smacks his open palm, they start cackling at Felix’s misfortune.)
3. Having to buy birthday gifts for Kim Seungmin
“Yeah, no. I don’t think that’ll do.”
“Well,” Jisung starts, already looking slightly sorry for putting himself in this situation. “Seungminnie is a pretty practical guy, right? So he’ll like practical gifts, probably.”
Minho hums, eyebrows furrowing as he continues to scroll down a recommended list of gift products from some shady, orange-themed online shopping site. God, the colour is so bright it’s burning his eyes. “Probably.”
“You could get him a diary? For next year. The year is ending, anyway. He might need a new one.”
Minho frowns. “But that’s better as, like, a Christmas present. This is a birthday gift. So I need to get something he would like.”
Jisung closes his eyes, lets out a long, tired breath. He opens his eyes again. “Trust me, hyung, he’ll like anything you get him.”
“Yeah, no way,” Minho’s frown deepens.
“You’ll make him like whatever you get him,” Jisung corrects.
This perks Minho up a little. “Sounds about right.”
“So,” Jisung tries again. “What does Seungmin like?”
Minho shuts his laptop, turns around to huff at Jisung. “Jisung, if I knew, I wouldn’t be asking you!”
Jisung pinches his nose in frustration. “But you do— okay, something super obvious. Buy him a DAY6 album. The latest one, what was it?”
“The Book of Us: Gluon,” Minho answers automatically.
“That,” Jisung says, gesturing wildly with his arms. “Buy him that.”
“But he already has that,” Minho replies miserably, as he shrinks into himself.
“You bought him one?” Jisung asks, equally miserably.
“I bought him one,” Minho says, putting his face in his hands. “I got him one when the preorder details dropped.”
“Damn,” Jisung lets out a low whistle. “Hyung, you’re so whipped.”
Minho smacks him.
Then he has an epiphany. “You’re right, Jisung.”
Jisung looks apprehensive. “What? Which part was I right? That you’re whipped?”
Minho glares at him. “That he likes practical gifts,” he says, opening up his laptop again. Shady shopping website aside, he already has an idea of what he’s going to get for Seungmin’s birthday. “So I should get him something that’s useful.”
“We were literally at that point, like, twenty minutes ago,” Jisung says tiredly, patting Minho’s shoulder. “But glad to be of help.”
(“What’s this?” Seungmin asks, eyeing the package that Minho’s thrust into his arms, right when the clock turned twelve.
“Wear it,” Minho shrugs, looking away deliberately and squeezing his eyes shut when Seungmin raises an eyebrow at him and starts opening his present.
After the rustling of plastic goes quiet and when Seungmin remains silent for a long moment, Minho finally cracks open one eye to find him staring at the lavender-coloured sweater in his arms with glassy eyes.
Minho jokes, then, “you don’t like it?”
“I love it,” Seungmin says, voice wobbling, holding the sweater up to his face and rubbing his cheek against it. “It’s so thick and warm.”
“Dumbass,” Minho smiles, ruffling Seungmin’s hair. “Happy birthday.”
“Happy birthday too,” Seungmin repeats absentmindedly, still distracted by his new present. Minho chuckles; Seungmin’s not wrong, in a sense.)
4. Having Kim Seungmin’s company
Chan blinks up at Minho, confused, when the door opens. “Just you? Where’s Seungminnie?”
“He probably overslept or something,” Minho says, toeing his shoes off at the entrance and pushes past Chan into the elder’s apartment for their biweekly movie nights with a few of their other friends.
Chan snorts, then, already used to this as he follows Minho back in. “You live with him.”
“Oh, don’t remind me.”
Minho casually throws a greeting to the rest of their haphazardly-formed friend group huddled on and around Chan’s couch in the living room; Changbin sprawled on the couch, Hyunjin and Jeongin on the floor.
“Lovers’ spat?” Changbin asks, making space for Minho on the couch, once he spots no Seungmin trailing behind Minho.
“We spat all the time,” Minho says cheerfully, plopping down next to Changbin and stealing a handful of his popcorn, much to Changbin’s dismay. “What are we watching?”
“Us,” Chan replies, settling on Minho’s other side. “Are you sure he overslept or you just didn’t want to wake him up?”
Jeongin makes a face, then. “I bet Minho-hyung saw Seungmin-hyung’s sleeping face, thought he was too cute to wake up, and then let him continue sleeping.”
Hyunjin perks up. “How much are you betting on that?”
“Ten,” Jeongin grins. “Your bet?”
“Fifteen. I bet Minho-hyung saw Seungmin’s sleeping face, felt bad that he had to wake him up, then let him continue sleeping.”
Minho steals more popcorn. Changbin yelps and tries to swat at his hand, to no avail. “None of you got it.”
“Lies,” Jeongin and Hyunjin yell out simultaneously. Minho just gives them a sly smirk, and Jeongin starts gagging.
“Okay, I don’t want to know,” Jeongin says, covering his ears. “Don’t tell us.”
“Shhh,” Jeongin chucks a pillow at Minho’s face. He dodges it, and it hits Changbin instead, causing the popcorn to spill. “Movie.”
😑 kim seungmin 8:40pm
Did u go to chan hyung’s without me
did u expect me to wait for ur sleeping ass
and make ME late
😑 kim seungmin 8:40pm
Thanks for the soup, btw
did u take ur meds too?
and the tea?? did u drink the tea?
Seungmin doesn’t reply for four minutes. Four minutes—Minho starts getting restless, begins shaking his leg, tapping his feet, so much that Changbin gives him a pointed look and Hyunjin even grabs his legs to put all the movement to a stop.
He’s about to tell the rest that he should be heading home, to check on Seungmin or whatever, when the bastard finally replies.
😑 kim seungmin 8:45pm
Yes I ate and drank everything you left on the table
I even did the dishes!!
So you can just come home and sleep
u lil shit u were sposed to REST
im coming home now
😑 kim seungmin 8:45pm
I’m literally fine
Its just a fever
Minho jumps up from his spot on the couch, startling the rest—Hyunjin screams, Changbin drops his popcorn again— and announces: “I’m going home, Seungmin’s lost it.”
Chan peers up at him worriedly. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Minho says, picking up his phone and wallet, already on his way out. “He has a fever and he says it’s just a fever and that he’s fine, the audacity of that idiot—”
The front door closes shut behind him.
Chan turns back to the rest, quirking an eyebrow. “What’s the verdict, boys?”
“He’s whipped, Your Honour,” Jeongin replies, solemnly.
(“I said I was fine,” Seungmin grumbles, although most of his words are muffled by all the blankets and plushies that Minho’s tucked in all around him. “I literally just slept and woke up.”
“Sleep again, then,” Minho orders, finally placing Seungmin’s favourite dog plush right on top of Seungmin’s chest. “You’re clearly still very sleepy.”
“Nooo,” Seungmin whines, his arms automatically curling around the plushie. His eyes are already droopy again, as he blinks lethargically. “I wanna do something. Like watch a movie. Or play a game.”
Minho eyes him for a second, before conceding. “Okay. I’ll get my laptop.”
He leaves the room, making sure to close the door as pointedly and as obviously as he can; then takes a walk around their living room, clears the trash can in the kitchen.
By the time Minho returns to the room, empty-handed, Seungmin, as he expected, fell asleep again.
I knew it. He turns the lights off, then carefully closes the door on his way out.)
5. Making December less lonely with Kim Seungmin
“Shouldn’t the star go on the tree last?”
“Does it really matter? I want to put the star on now.”
“Fine,” Seungmin says, rolling his eyes—affectionately, Minho must add, and shifts over so that Minho has space near their Christmas tree. “Can you reach?”
“Of course I can,” is what Minho says, but finds himself on his tippy toes, struggling a little to properly place the tree topper. He hears Seungmin snort at his attempt; feels the way Seungmin comes up behind him, tugging at his shirt so it doesn’t ride up.
Minho huffs, turning around to frown at his boyfriend. “You’re not gonna help me?”
“You said you could reach,” Seungmin jokes, but he’s already reaching out for the star. Their hands brush as Minho lets him take it; he watches as Seungmin effortlessly places the star right at the top, as he smiles at himself for a job well done, as he glances back down at Minho, beaming at him.
Suddenly the weight of the ring box in his pocket feels even heavier.
(What’s the worst that can happen? Jisung had said, all those weeks ago when Minho had dragged his sorry ass out to help him pick out rings, and for moral support, which Jisung decidedly did not provide. He’ll say no?
Minho was pretty sure his face had crumpled in that instant because Jisung was retracting his words, reassuring him, there’s no way he’ll say no, have you seen the way he looks at you? He’ll definitely say yes.)
Seungmin must’ve caught onto his short silence, because he tilts his head a little to the right. “What’re you thinking about?”
“Nothing much,” Minho says, but he’s already reaching into his pocket. He avoids Seungmin’s gaze, focuses on pulling out the ring box, on opening it, on not fumbling and dropping it. “Was just wondering if you’d like to marry me for Christmas?”
Seungmin stares at him, lips parted in shock; Minho hasn’t even noticed it before, but now the TWICE song that they were playing in the background before—and his heartbeat—suddenly sounds deafening in the midst of Seungmin’s silence. With each second that passes, Minho—
“No,” Seungmin squeaks out, eyes widening. But there’s a barely concealed smile on his face, and he doesn’t even give Minho time to process what he’s just said, doesn’t give time for Minho’s world to crash because of one word, because Seungmin’s reaching into his back pocket.
He pulls out his own ring box, opens it—Minho’s world crashes to a mind-numbing halt when he sees the ring nestled into the velvet; it’s a simple rose gold band, but to Minho, it looks like everything.
“No,” Seungmin says again, but this time with more certainty, more conviction in his voice. “Because you’re going to marry me for Christmas.”
Minho laughs, but it comes out watery; he doesn’t even realise he’s crying until Seungmin laughs at him, dabs the tears off his cheeks with his sleeve. “I don’t even get a choice?”
“Figured you wouldn’t say no,” Seungmin grins, taking Minho’s hand. “Can we wear our rings now?”
(When they’ve finally finished decorating their Christmas tree, Minho takes a step back before switching on the fairy lights that they’ve draped all over the tree.
The lights envelope Seungmin in a warm, golden glow, his eyes reflecting the twinkling lights like a vast galaxy. Fitting, given that he’s the sun and the universe to Minho.
“Merry Christmas,” Minho says, finding his place beside Seungmin.
“Merry Christmas,” Seungmin smiles, then starts humming the song they’ve been looping in the background. “Now I like Christmas too, the falling white snow doesn’t make me lonely.”
“Now my Christmas is merry too,” Seungmin sings lightly; then he chuckles, he giggles, and ends with, “my life is happy, because you’re by my side.”)