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The Cup

Summary:

It's the dawn of Crystal Tokyo. Everyone thinks it will be Utopia, right? But how is the road to Utopia paved?

Notes:

Hello!
Welcome to my 2020 ssmb fic! This story very much deviated from its original conception, and I have experimented a bit with narrative. The lovely minakosaino provided a playlist to accompany this story, which you may find here at spotify:
Red Gold Yesterday
She made such a wonderful playlist and cover art that truly captured the essence of the story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

I also want to thank everyone who had eyes on this fic during the writing process, particularly Meteora Circosta, who is a wonderful cheerleader and friend.

Chapter 1: Crystal Tokyo

Chapter Text

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I woke up with the taste of champagne in my mouth. I recall drinking it slowly, letting the bubbles dance on my tongue as a last reminder of effervescence. We were laughing at a particularly good barb from Haruka, her arm draped lazily over Michiru’s shoulders, so hard that I barely noticed the twinge of sadness in her grin. The world celebrated New Year’s raucously down on the busy streets below us, bells clanging loudly over the sound of crowds. Hotaru lowered the Glaive quietly while we were distracted. I don’t remember the twilight falling, but the last sight I recall was the moon full and bright in the sky; stars twinkling in and out from behind the clouds. A millennium went by in an instant. 

The world I woke up in was so quiet. The air was crisp and fresh, and the sun refracted off the crystal walls in sparkling rainbows. I’d never quite heard birds so clearly in Tokyo before. Sounds of Earth renewed seemed to roar in the absence of trains, cars, chatter, and the din of an urban lifestyle. Quite frankly, the sound grated on my ears. I had never really enjoyed the countryside. A Crystal Palace had formed in Usagi’s dreams. The palace had enveloped us in our slumber. It was splendid. Unfortunately, despite Usagi’s best intentions, it was also completely to her tastes. The first few hours after we awoke were spent browsing the palace plaza.The base of it was Sankakusu, the Delta towers still peeking through. It made sense; we had celebrated New Year’s in Michiru’s and Haruka’s penthouse, fireworks shooting off at the end of the world. Still, I couldn’t quite wrap my head around the idea that an entire district had been wiped out to build a single, massive palace town. Granted, it was a small, reclaimed island of land in Tokyo bay, but it had been a bustling hub once. Greater Tokyo appeared to be in a much different shape.

The palace town was composed of a labyrinthine web of corridors, upper walkways, hidden tunnels, gardens, shrines, a medical facility that rivaled the top Tokyo hospitals, a command center that looked as if it belonged to an alien race that far surpassed us with technology I had never considered (Ami and I felt most at home here), libraries, pools...it would take us years to discover everything Usagi had dreamed up. I even stumbled into Mugen Academy once. The entire school remained intact somehow. But the pièce de résistance was the central palace. It loomed over the plaza from great archways sprouting from the delta towers as if it was a castle in the clouds.

Each of us seemed to have an entire village in the maze of corridors. We could tell because the styling of the areas changed to suit more of our own personalities. My area was lux and modern—well, early twenty-first century modern—with touches of my brief rise to stardom popping up here and there. I discovered a production studio with a stunning loft above it and knew this was my home. I also had a wing in the palace to call my own. My bedroom windows overlooked the city, perched high above the grounds. I didn’t know for sure whether it was to keep watch or because she thought I would like that view the best. Makoto’s wing was warm and comfy. Plants perched in windows thrived in the sunlight. Ami’s was clean, crisp, and sterile. Watercolors graced the walls, and a grand harp sat in the middle of her sitting room. Rei’s wing looked the most traditional, but I could tell she felt it was a pale simulacrum for Hikawa. It wasn’t until we counted—thirteen separate dedicated living spaces—that we realized something more was going on. After all, we were a group of nine. Who did the extra four wings belong to? I had an inkling, and it made me a little ill to consider the possibility.

The city simply shined. The reason we named it Crystal Tokyo was because the combined forces of the Silver and Golden crystals had changed the landscape. Beyond the palace, crystal spires had erupted all over. They had combined with the rubble of the city structures, reinforcing some buildings, completely supplanting others. Some of my favorite buildings had a look of crystalized kintsugi. They glowed with an otherworldly glimmer.

Tokyo, as I had known it, was gone, however. There were empty spaces, grass, and forests that hadn’t been there before. In the distance, the ocean sparkled a deep aqua blue. It was so different from the steely gray color I could remember. I even saw dolphins playing in the waves once on one of my walks along the shore. What remained of the city looked as if it had been made of glass instead of steel, wood, and stone.

What remained of the rest of the world...we had no idea.

The mundane days of exploring ended one morning as I was sitting in the command center, Artemis perched on the console. We were staring at a new light that had flickered to life in the Minato Ward, just a short distance from my childhood home. The green light blinked like a beacon. Shortly after, three other lights, of three different colors flared across the map. I groaned.

“Do you think—?” Artemis began to ask before he was cut short by the door bursting open. A haggard Mamoru stood in the doorway, panting. Usagi was barreling after, stopping just short of plowing into him.

“I had a vision,” he muttered before staggering into the command center and collapsing onto the nearest chair. Usagi stood behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders. Her brow was furrowed as she looked up at the screen. I noticed the pink stone clutched in Mamoru’s hand, and my heart sank. Mutely, I turned from him and glanced back at the screen, fixating on the pink light blinking in the north.

“They’re back,” I finally managed. I turned to look at Mamoru.

He tore his gaze away from the screen and stared at me in return. “Yes.”

Chapter 2: Discovery

Chapter Text

The command center was pin-drop silent despite the eight of us that had gathered in the room. We stared at the screen waiting for someone to break the silence while each grappling with our own range of emotions.

“Well, someone is going to have to go and confirm,” Rei finally said.

“I’ll go,” Makoto and I said in unison. We looked at each other.

“There’s four of them. And they’re not close together, either,” Ami pointed out. “Plus, we don’t know what the status of transportation is. Are there any roads left? Do cars still work? Do we have fuel? I fear this is a bigger undertaking than it appears.”

Makoto cracked her knuckles and leaned back in her seat. “I’m confident I could at least make an electric car work,” she said.

Ami gave her doubtful look and shook her head. “It’s not that simple, Mako-chan.” She walked up to the console and flexed her fingers before sucking in a deep breath. Touching the console lightly with her fingers, she pinched to zoom in on the map. She made a little ‘huh’ sound as if she was surprised the console responded to her. “We’re on an island. Usagi, did you consider how to get off the island in your dream?” Usagi flushed and mumbled a response we couldn’t hear. The screen zoomed in on what had once been a railway heading out of the island. The image on the screen gave us a sobering reality. Rails were askew and part-way off the track. Further down the line, the piles that had held up the track were crumbling. Ami turned from the screen and gave Makoto a pointed look.

“Well, we can fix it!” Usagi jumped up with excitement. “I can just magic us a new pathway!”

Ami sighed and turned back to the screen. “Usagi-chan, have you actually tried to ‘just magic’ something lately?”

“No, but I’m sure it’s not that hard.” Usagi grappled in her pocket and pulled out the crystal, the chain dangling from her hand. I raised an eyebrow and looked at Ami.

“Your pocket, Usako?” Mamoru’s voice rumbled behind her, a mix of amusement and incredulousness colored it. She rolled her eyes and held the crystal out in her palms.

“Okay. Make me a toy Artemis,” I said. I leaned my head on my hand and watched her carefully. Ami crossed her arms.

Tell me more...

“That’s just ridiculous,” Luna said. She folded her paws under her.

“No, it’s not,” I retorted. “We know Luna-P is a thing, why not some caricature of Artemis?” He huffed behind me.

Usagi shrugged and held out the crystal in both her hands, closed her eyes, and we waited.

“You gotta really want it, Usagi-chan,” Makoto piped up.

The crystal remained dormant despite Usagi screwing her face up in concentration, her tongue just barely sticking out. She tried for a few more minutes before sighing and dropping her hands to her sides. “Stupid rock,” she muttered.

“The solution is obvious,” Rei said from her perch on the edge of the computer console. “If we must do this,” she looked pointedly at Mamoru before going back to examining her nails, “shouldn’t we just, oh, I don’t know...teleport out?”

“Well…” Ami drew the sound out as she scrolled around the screen. “I suppose so.”

“It’s not like you’re going to have to perform a ritual anymore,” Artemis said. “Your powers are all well beyond that.”

I was growing sick of drawing the process out. I stood up. “It’s decided. Mako and I will go and investigate.”

“You’re not leaving me here,” Mamoru said. “I’ll go get Kunzite. That’s my hometown anyway.”

I pointed back up to the screen. “Jadeite’s in my old neighborhood.”

“The other two are closer together. I don’t mind doing both.” Makoto said.

“Good, I want nothing to do with this,” Rei said as she slid off the console. “I’ll stay here with Usagi and protect her, like I’m supposed to.” She swayed out of the room. The rest of us looked at each other, puzzled.

I sighed. “All right, so what do we need to do to prepare?”

Mamoru and Ami simultaneously launched into medical chatter. It was going to be a long time until we had ourselves ready to go.

***

The orange light dissipated quickly as my feet landed on the ground. My henshin seemed to melt off as I took a few steps forward. I found myself in the middle of an abandoned street, broken down cars and doorways with half-unhinged doors everywhere I looked. “How did it happen for everyone else? Did they just go to sleep as well? Was it painful? Did people linger for a while?” With each block I walked, the ideas of the end of the world spiraled through my head. How much of the Earth survived? Were other countries untouched? The eerie feeling of being truly alone somehow made my hackles rise.

Walking through the remains of my old neighborhood was spooky. The eerie silence resonated even stronger now that I was down in the ward, and I severely missed the hubbub and bustle on the street. I passed by my childhood home and stared at it a long time. Compared to other buildings on the street, it looked pristine. I hadn’t even planned on going near it, but my body seemed to be on auto-pilot. A knot of nausea formed in my stomach, and I knew I couldn’t enter it. I could envision my mother puttering around the house doing chores while my father was at work. The loss of them suddenly felt overwhelming. I swallowed hard to force down the tears that were threatening and forced myself to keep walking. Perhaps later I could muster up the courage.

The tablet vibrated in my pocket after I had walked a few more blocks. Now that we all had similar versions of Ami’s micro-computer, it was much easier to track down targets. This meant I was close to the location of Jadeite. I wondered what he looked like now. After taking a few more steps, the tablet vibrated more strongly. Pulling the tablet from my pocket, I thought of how much I missed my phone, and how this was a poor substitute. The screen blinked to life, and a map glowed up from the screen. The blinking green dot was a few blocks away down an unassuming residential street.

I followed the path the tablet had laid out until I was standing in front of a ten-story apartment building. The map on the tablet zoomed in to the seventh floor. The image showed the layout of the apartment in real-time, including furnishings and other obstacles. It was a little creepy, if I am being honest. I pocketed the tablet once more and craned my head back to see how I might get into the apartment building. I could scale the balconies, but it would be easier if I transformed. Frowning, I relaxed into the magic and felt myself shift into my senshi form. The fuku felt tight and uncomfortable for the first time I could remember. Such a short skirt was now no longer desirable. I sighed and jumped, landing on the closest balcony.

Jumping up six stories was going to be harder than I thought. My balance was off, not to mention I was way more out of shape than I knew. I decided to take my time, trying not to look into people’s apartments, and ignoring the last vestiges of the life I used to know. Finally, I reached the seventh floor and knew I was there. Aside from having gauged the journey, I simply felt him. The magic was alive and it felt familiar. I was a bit taken aback at how similar it felt to encountering my fellow senshi in my days before we had all awakened.

Sliding the glass door of the balcony open, I was hit with the warm, stale air that had been locked in the apartment for so many years. It still had a tinge of death to it that made my stomach drop. Jadeite was not alone. I closed my eyes to steady myself. The apartment had cracking walls and soft spots in the floor that I found as I moved closer to the bedroom. Why the tablet hadn’t prepared me for the sight I saw inside the bedroom, I didn’t know.

Jadeite’s body lay in repose, as if he had just gone to sleep, his arm still draped around the bones of the body that had been lying against him. I watched him closely for a few seconds measuring the depth of his breath as his chest rose and fell. The stark contrast between the soft, living flesh of his arm and the dried, brittle bones of the small frame he held simply wasn't fair. Bile rose sharply in my throat as my hands flew up to my mouth. I had encountered death before, but not innocently or organically. This was our fault. That person shouldn’t have been a victim of our coming into power. Just how many people were we supposed to rule over if everyone else was dead?

I needed to work quickly. I yanked my choker off and threw it aside, hoping to stop the feeling of pressure against my throat as bile continued to rise. Jadeite would have to come with me. A sickening crack of bones breaking sounded as I tried to pry his body out of the bed. The skeleton’s wrist and hand remained on his chest after my initial tug. The bones were so fragile, they splintered into several pieces with each movement I made, cascading off his chest into the recesses of the bed. Crouching at the side of the bed, I tugged him part-way off and slid his prone body across my back. He was so heavy. I grunted as I stood up, swaying a bit under his weight. Backpedalling through the door, I caught sight of a photo of the two of them askew on a wall. She had been so pretty. And she looked so similar to Rei. I turned swiftly and stumbled out of the balcony door. I didn’t even care how hard I would hit the ground if I jumped the seven stories straight. Or how difficult it would be to land with an extra hundred-plus pounds of unwieldy dead weight throwing off my balance. Pain would actually feel good at this point, countering the surreal experience of being in his room.

I landed awkwardly, falling on to my bottom hard after my feet went out from underneath me. Jadeite’s body flopped backward with a thud. It didn’t sound as if I had broken any bones—well, mine or his. He still looked so peaceful as he slumbered. I sucked in deep breaths as I lay back on the ground, trying to get the stench from the house out of my nose, and to steady the weakness I felt in my limbs. The vomit was coming again, and this time I couldn’t stop it. I rolled to my side, so as not to choke on it. More deep breaths. This had been one of the most memorable experiences I’d had as a senshi, and it wasn’t particularly enjoyable. Once I was done, I leaned against him and pulled out my communicator.

“Target found, I’m on my way back.” I waited a few moments.

“I’m ready for him.” Ami’s voice was unsettlingly clear. “Bring him right to the hospital wing.”

“Oh, I’m coming right for you, friend,” I responded. “Dude is heavy.”

“Noted,” Ami replied. “See you shortly.”

I closed the communicator and let my arm drop to my side. The sky was so blue, the sun was so warm, the air smelled so clean. Earth had healed itself in our absence. The birds—damn them—continued to chirp. And none of it, none, was fair. I turned to study Jadeite. He seemed to live such a normal life. Had he really been evil? Did he remember any of it? He had the same sort of westernized traces in his features that I did. No wonder he was living in Minato. I flipped back towards him and kneeled over him, grasping both shoulders. Time to pray that I could pull him through space and time with me.

“Mamoru wants you for some reason. Guess it’s time to go.” I closed my eyes and gripped tight. It was a consolation when the feeling of floating felt sluggish.

***

Thud. Ami startled when I appeared in the room she had been preparing for Jadeite.

“I warned you,” I said.

“Well, yes.” Ami leaned over him to study him. “Interesting. He looks so young.” She turned back to the table she was preparing. “The gel Mamoru and I developed seems to be working with the others. It’s a slow waking process, but I think that’s better than a shock of magic to wake up suddenly. Who knew we could infuse viscous substances with power from the crystals?”

I nodded, not quite listening to her ramble, having checked out after “others” was mentioned, wondering who else was now within our walls, and what would happen once they awoke. Was Kunzite here already?

Ami had paused in her speech. “So...do you want to do it then?”

“Do what?” I mumbled. I had shifted to lean against the platform of the exam table. 

Exasperated, Ami pursed her lips at me and repeated herself slowly. “Get him undressed, the gel needs to have full contact with his skin to work. And I’m getting the tank filled.”

It all sounded so clinical and impersonal. Did Ami even see the person in front of her? He wasn’t an actual corpse. Yes, he may now be considered a patient of hers, but that didn’t excuse her tone. This was a man who had a life potentially never knowing anything about us or magic or anything supernatural. He had a home and parents and a career. And a girl...

I considered complaining. I had already pried him from his dead lover’s brittle bones. How much more indecency could I bestow upon the poor man? I shrugged. He wasn’t wearing much, just a pair of pyjama bottoms. Tugging at the elastic waistband I settled for simply averting my eyes and staring at his feet as I slid the pants off his legs.

“Let’s get him in,” Ami said. Her face was a bit pink as she bent down to help lift him. I wanted to needle her for it, but didn’t have the energy. Together we lifted him up and placed him in the tank. We stood on opposite sides of the table and locked eyes for a moment.

“Ehm, should we cover him with something at least?” I asked. Ami nodded furiously and turned to open a cabinet in the room which had a plain white sheet in it. She flung it so it fanned out and then draped it over the sides of the tank.

“Well, we’ll see you on the other side, for better or worse,” Ami said to the man.

“I never want to have to do something like that again,” I said as we exited the room.

Chapter 3: In Consideration of Consciousness

Chapter Text

Riisa was gone. He knew it as soon as the shimmer of light that had held his twenty-something body in stasis had faded. He desperately wanted to fall back asleep. He tried to squeeze his eyes shut tighter, but they were already closed. There was an ache in his heart he had never felt before. Loneliness twinged with a deep void. He had never been more certain of anything in his life. Jacob wasn’t the crying type, but he certainly wanted to now. Her soft almond eyes and jingling laugh. Flashes of the last he could remember—New Years and the clanging of the bells, splitting the boxed jubako meal, planning the wedding—filtered through his foggy brain. He tried to swallow the pain away, but found he could not.

 A strange black cat was staring him down intently with a sharp green stone clenched between her pointy teeth. He knew she was there, somehow, despite not opening his eyes yet. He could envision her in his mind, despite never having seen her before. The cat silently padded up to the bed and jumped squarely onto his chest. He felt the four paws land on him like four small, sharp, lead bricks. Next he felt a distinct thud as she dropped the stone near his collar bone, licked her paw, and swept it briefly over her ears, as if she were pushing back an errant hair in her face.

As soon as the stone touched the bare skin of his chest, Jacob jolted completely awake with a huge gasp in a room that felt like a glass prison. Everything was white, bright, sterile, and enclosed. Riisa was gone! It was his first thought upon opening his eyes to a blinding overhead light.

 “My name is Luna,” the cat said. “It appears you are the reincarnation of Jadeite, Knight of Patience and Harmony; the Heavenly King of the East.”

He blinked.

“Sone Jakobe, right? I am here to deliver your stone. Endymion will be in shortly to meet you.” With that, she hopped off the bed and marched towards the door.

Jacob had never met a cat with so much authority before. He arched an eyebrow at her. Very, very few people had addressed him by his full Japanese name. Recently, it had only been Riisa. He squeezed his eyes shut. Riisa. He tried to swallow again and found he now could, though it didn’t really help. His mouth was so dry.

“Do try to make yourself presentable before the King arrives. There are clothes in the closet.” Luna exited and there was a soft click after her from a door he could not find in the wall. There were no discernable hinges, handles, or even a frame. He reached up and rubbed his hand over his face. His skin felt rough and papery, his arm heavy and numb. Water was quickly becoming more essential.

Jacob looked down for the first time, realizing he was completely nude. His body was in less of a bed and more of an open glass sarcophagus filled with some sort of primordial goo, with a cotton sheet draped over him for modesty. Comfy, yet sticky. He peeled himself up into a sitting position and shook his head to get the dizziness out. It didn’t work. Sitting up also caused a massive headache to erupt. Physical pain surprised him. The green stone plopped into his lap.

Taking a closer look around, he realized it was less of a bedroom and more of a hospital room. Machines in the walls whirred quietly, and monitors showing information he couldn’t decipher blinked periodically. There was a small bathroom with a shower off to the side of the room. He picked up the stone and looked at it quizzically. It was a deep green with a beveled rectangular shape, smooth and glossy to the touch. There was a heavy weight to it. Jacob couldn’t decide if the weight was physical or metaphysical.

He sighed and threw his legs over the rim of his...bed...for lack of a better word. If he was alive and Riisa wasn’t—of this he was sure—and cats talked now, the least he could do was follow simple directions and take a shower. He was probably dead. That made the most sense. Interesting that he needed to shower when he was dead. This was hell, or at minimum, limbo, he was sure. He dropped the stone on the bed as he got up. One foot hit the ground, promptly followed by his full body.

Chapter 4: The Binding

Chapter Text

It was a surreal feeling; his brain wanted to move his body, but his muscles simply wouldn’t cooperate. “ Well, I suppose that’s natural for a reanimated corpse ,” he thought. “ It’s strange being a zombie. I assumed one would be less aware.” He tried to flail his numb arm above him, but was not even able to shift his body. Worse, he could acutely feel the cold tile beneath him, however, there was nothing he could do about it.

Jacob remained there, locked in his body, for the better part of an hour. To say he was frustrated would be an understatement. He couldn’t even yell for help, though he tried in every language he knew, but couldn’t get his mouth to open, let alone make a sound. The feeling of the remaining goo slowly drying on his skin itched and the chill of the floor had seeped through him until it felt that even his bones hurt.

Finally, the invisible door opened. A man entered, dressed in scrubs. Jacob didn’t know why, but he knew this man. Not his name, mind, but as an essence. It was the closest thing to meeting a soulmate that Jacob had truly experienced. 

“Woah!” the man said.

Unexpected for a doctor, Jacob thought.

“What happened?” the doctor asked, crouching down next to Jacob.

Jacob was silent.

The doctor made a humming sound, then stood back up and looked around. “Oh,” he said as his eyes fell on the green stone nestled in the goo of the bed. “You’re going to need this.” The doctor placed the stone in Jacob’s hand. This time he felt a current run through him, breathing life back into his muscles. The doctor slid his arms under Jacob and pulled him up.

Jacob knew those eyes. He couldn’t remember why. Very Blue. Very weird for Japan. Was he still in Japan? Japan… “Where’s Riisa?” he asked.

The doctor’s eyes darkened as a look of confusion flitted across his face. “I’m sorry, I don’t know,” the doctor said. Jacob simply nodded.

“The cat said the King was coming and I needed to look presentable. I’m thirsty and cold.”

The doctor stifled a laugh. Jacob was nude. “You’re cold because you don’t have clothes on,” the doctor said. He guided Jacob to a chair and eased him down to sit, and reached for the hand that held the stone. This time, Jacob reflexively tightened his grip on it. Gently the doctor took his wrist and pulled the stone out of his hand, sliding his hand in its place. Jacob felt the tingle again, warm this time. “So, I need to place this stone on you. Where do you want it?”

Jacob giggled. What a ludicrous question. Of course in limbo, or the afterlife, or wherever was, he would need random stones attached to his body. He pointed to his bicep. At least the doctor was giving him a choice, small mercies.

“I’ve heard this hurts,” the doctor said.

“Do dead people even really feel pain?” Jacob asked.

The doctor leaned back, surprised. “Dead? You’re not dead.”

“Oh,” Jacob replied.

The doctor took a deep breath, as if he was concentrating on something. “Brace yourself,” he mumbled. The doctor placed the stone at the spot that Jacob had indicated.

“Holy Fuck!” To say that at the moment the stone touched his flesh there was a searing pain was minimizing the actual flash of pain Jacob felt. If he had been standing, it would absolutely have leveled him. More so than the physical pain was the mental pain of an onslaught of memories, guilt, and a deep, bitter rage he didn’t recognize. He fainted.

***

When Jacob awoke he found himself clean and dressed in pyjama type clothes, with a pretty nurse flitting around his room. At least he thought it was a nurse until she turned around and he realized he knew exactly who she was.

“Hi, Mercury,” he mumbled. 

Ami quirked an eyebrow at him. “Ah! You’re awake!” She walked over to his bed which was now an actual mattress with soft sheets and a warm blanket and looked at the monitors above him. “It’s Ami now,” she said. She looked back at him and smiled. “And you’re Jacob, right?”

“Depends on who you’re talking to.”

“Fair enough, we all wear different hats.” Ami turned his wrist over and checked his pulse. “Good news, you’re healthy.”

“Well, I thought I was dead until this got branded into my arm,” Jacob said as he peered at the jade stone embedded into his bicep. He tapped it lightly. It felt as if he was just poking his own skin. “So strange,” he muttered. 

He looked at his hand and flexed his fingers.  They looked like good, strong hands. But he felt a weakness in them like grasping a spoon would be difficult. Then he looked up and noticed the vibrancy of the colors in the room. And he could taste the air, the antiseptic tang of a hospital. He tingled all over, and felt a thrumming deep within him that ebbed and flowed with his pulse. Jacob felt alive, but not in the sense he was familiar with. It was as if he was back to infancy and everything was new again.

“Does magic have a taste?” he asked.

Ami giggled.  “Sometimes,” she replied. “But, you’ll not notice it after a while.”

“Mmm...spicy,” he said, smiling. The smile faded quickly. Now was not the time for jokes. Maybe it never would be again.  He swallowed hard and tore his gaze from Ami’s.

She cleared her throat and jotted down something in a notepad briefly, then extended her hand to Jacob. “Alright, let me take  you on a tour.”

***

Life flowed strangely from there on out. Jacob relearned about magic, a rocky history spanning several lifetimes, and his future role in this new power hierarchy. The lot of it left a sour taste in his mouth, moreso when Venus (he really wasn’t interested in using their names yet), finally told him the truth about Riisa. The haunted look in her eyes gave more away than he was willing to know. He paced about his new living space, noting the emptiness and sterile nature of it. He missed the homey touches Riisa had brought to his apartment, but found he couldn’t bring himself to go back for them. Instead, he wanted to believe that was a long closed chapter of his life and tried to move forward, but it was a struggle. Really, he felt that portion of his life was borrowed time, and now the payment was due.

As the others slowly filtered back to life, Jacob’s cabin fever started to set in. Though they lived in an island city, the lack of life outside of 13 people was suffocating. His only respite was Mamoru teaching him teleportation. The small practices let him lose himself for milliseconds, and the weight of his reality was lifted off his body for a bit. The void and darkness of the nothing space in between dimensions gave him freedom. It was the perfect schrodinger’s box: he was both alive and non-existent at the same time. He only needed to figure out how to lose himself forever in-between.

Eventually, the teleports would get longer and farther. The group as a whole was curious of the state of the world outside the limited space they occupied, and the shady timelord lady wasn’t telling. The plan going forward was, since the “Generals” as they were now (again) called, had lived outside of Japan, they would be poking around their former homes to check the status of the world. The key to this was that in order to teleport effectively one needed to hold the image of a place in their mind. This gave one somewhere concrete to land.

Therefore, Jacob was headed home. To California. It would be a welcome change.

Chapter 5: Brave New World

Chapter Text

I was excited to go to California. I was not excited to be going with Jacob. Aside from Mr. Misery’s general demeanor, I did not want to be a babysitter for a fledgeling magic user. The states had been all our home for a brief stint while Mamoru was in university, and it had always felt more comfortable to me than I’d like to admit—especially the glamour and luxury of Los Angeles. But my reunion with Rodeo Drive would be tainted by my sidekick. And, if I were being honest with myself, the incredibly barren stores, with nary a soul to be found would be more depressing than I was willing to admit.

I felt for Jacob, I really did, but his gloom was infectious. It had poisoned me to the point that I avoided any space that he might occupy by hours and kilometers. When Mamoru had proposed working in pairs for our exploration parties, I was not opposed, per say. He did insist on “more experienced” magic users being paired with “new” magic users, which meant that we couldn’t pair up among ourselves. I had been excited to come explore the States, especially with Rei. But after learning that the only general who was familiar with the place was Jacob, I had to muster all my reserves of patience and grit to manage it. Mamoru had expressly asked me to look out for Jacob, and I didn’t have the heart to shoot him down. 

 

So we prepared. We silently and awkwardly occupied the same spaces with one another and trained to prepare for any situation that came our way. On launch day as Jacob and I clasped hands to teleport, the exchange of energy made me queasy. 

 

The moment my feet hit the ground on the shore of the Pacific I dropped his hands. I had let him take the lead on where exactly we were going to land. His energy was cold and dark, and I didn’t enjoy the feeling it gave me. I think he felt the same, based on his visible shudder, and the way he shook his hands after I let go. Maybe I had inadvertently shocked him.

 

The beach we landed on was deserted, aside from the garbage that still littered the landscape. I was only half-heartedly surprised at the amount that was still there. 

Tokyo had not looked the same. I wondered if that was an effect of the powers of the crystals or just the way the tides worked. Here, the plastic still hadn’t disintegrated, though it may have begun to decompose in some areas. I took up a stick and poked at an empty jug.

“Well, this is encouraging,” I muttered. Jacob didn’t respond.  His gaze was set on the horizon and a visible clench in his jawline gave away his discomfort. The silence between us was palpable. I turned and looked at the miles of empty beach and listened to the sound of the tide. 

“My brother and I used to surf here in the summer,” Jacob said softly. I snapped my gaze to him, but he didn’t return my look. He had a wry half-smile on his face. “The beach was always crowded and little kids would cheer if we managed any cool tricks. Mom always had seaweed salad and nigiri for snacks after, which freaked out all the super white kids who had P.B.J.’s.” The color drained from his eyes until they settled into an empty, cold, slate shade. He kicked at a red solo cup that was half-buried in the sand. “I wanted to bring Riisa here to get married,” he continued. “I wanted to show her my home and have her meet my family. I wanted everyone to love her as much as I did.” Jacob picked up the cup, and with a ferocious roar chucked it as far as he could.  The wind caught it, and it flew back and smacked him in the side of his face. “ Why am I alive?!” he sobbed.

I rocked back on my heels as I watched him collapse into the soft sand, his shoulders heaving. Pursing my lips, I waited for him to finish.

I choked down the flash of anger that rose from the core of my stomach. He wasn’t the only one who had sacrificed! But then I remembered, I had been grappling with my sacrifices since I was thirteen, over a thousand years ago. I wouldn’t touch him, but I slumped down next to him in the sand. Picking up the red cup, I toyed with it as I stared out at the ocean. The cold Pacific air whipped across us and I shivered.

The sobs wracking Jacob’s body began to slow. I waited, picking at the fragments of shells stuck to the cup. Finally he sucked in a deep breath and wiped furiously at his eyes, as if the tears had betrayed him. 

“You are alive,” I began softly, “because you have a job to do.”  I slipped off my shoes and dug my toes in the cold sand. “I know it’s hard. It’s a lot to take in. We’re all strangers, but we’re not.” 

“I liked my life,” Jacob said after a long pause. “I don’t want this kind of responsibility.” 

“Me either,” I admitted to him. That made him turn and look at me fully for perhaps the first time. “Magic is cool and all, but all I really wanted to do is sing.” I dug my toes further in the sand, hoping the ground would simply open up beneath me and swallow me.  “I’m pretty good, I was a bit of a celebrity before we…” I trailed off. Was it fell asleep?  Died and were reborn again? Killed everyone else on the planet?  I shook my head. “Anyway, my point is Usagi and Mamoru need us. It used to be they needed our protection from threats and evil and chaos. Now, I think it’s more of an emotional support. Usagi’ll fix it somehow. But I think guilt is starting to set in for them. The world is so empty.”  I pitched the cup again. “I don’t even want to know what the cities look like. The silence is eerie.”  

We watched the waves for a few moments. The tide seemed shallower than I remembered, not the roar of the waves crashing I was used to. 

“How can we be the only ones left?” Jacob eventually asked. 

“Magic does some pretty crazy things,” I responded. 

Jacob sucked in a deep breath and stood up. “We’ll never know if we don’t go look,” he said. He offered his hand to me.  I paused, then reached up and grasped his hand.  He pulled me up and we turned around to see the empty parking lot of the beach, and the shuttered stores past it. My heart sank just a bit as my eyes swept over the avenue. Jacob hesitated, then took a step forward.  “Ok, I am going to need some fortification for this,” he said. Pulling me forward he marched up the avenue towards a boarded up liquor store. 

Ripping the board off the door, he threw it aside. He looked down at his hands as if he had no idea he possessed that type of strength. Maybe he hadn’t until Ami’s magic goo. We peered inside through the cracked door. Inside, the dust barely stirred, only a few motes floated through the beam of light that filtered in. The recesses of the store remained in shadow, and we could barely make out boxes and shelves in the darkness. The store was an open concept, with the only shelves on the walls and a few displays here and there in the center. Had this shop been boarded up before the glaive dropped? Or was there indeed an after? I didn’t like the thought of either. 

“Got a light?” Jacob said dryly, before wrenching the door the rest of the way open. 

I did indeed.  As the magic flared to life in my hands, the full extent of the abandoned business bloomed in front of us. It was oddly intact, excepting cracking walls and signs that hung tattered from the ceiling. Cobwebs hung like gauzy curtains, looping over the shelves. Bottles and cans sat untouched on their shelves, mounds of dust sitting atop them. Jacob strode into the center of the store and scowled. His footsteps left deep impressions on the floor, little clouds of dust puffing with each step.  

“Strange isn’t it?” he asked. “It’s like they planned on coming back.”  

I frowned at the eerie stillness, the cobwebs, and the products caked with a hundred years worth of dust. The static air was hard to choke down. 

Jacob picked up a wine bottle and let out a derisive laugh. “Want to sample a precious, rare Barefoot Chardonnay aged vintage of 2014?”  I wrinkled my nose and shook my head. 

“I’m not looking to go blind. I highly doubt a fair amount of this stuff is safe for consumption.” I picked at a label on a bottle of Hypnotiq that was peeling off.  The concept of Hypnotiq soured my stomach.

“Don’t care,” Jacob said and walked towards the shelf labeled “whiskey.”  I followed behind him tracing my fingers over the shaped glass bottles. Rainbows danced on the walls behind them from the light at my fingertips.  I crashed into Jacob, who had stopped dead in his tracks.  

He was staring at me. “I never thought magic could be pretty,” he said.   

“Then you’re not paying attention,” I replied. “Even your magic could be beautiful if you put your mind to it.” 

“Magic always just seemed powerful and led to destruction. Everything magic has ever touched over three lives now has been ruined.” 

I put my hands on my hips, anger rising again. “Endymion’s magic is literally healing magic! How does that seem destructive to you?”  

Jacob’s mouth clicked shut and he turned back to the bottles of whiskey in front of him. He grabbed an expensive looking bottle and brushed the dust off it. And then he grabbed a second.  Then, a third. 

“I don’t think drinking yourself to death is going to solve this problem.” 

“Who said I was aiming to kill myself? I just want to emotionally anesthetize for a while.” He took a few steps further down the aisle, picked up a dusty box of aged rum, and shoved it in my hands. 

I frowned down at it. “Get a spiced one too.” 

Chapter 6: A Treatise on Finely Distilled Spirits

Chapter Text

I felt like Elizabeth Swan; drunk on a beach with a man I didn’t trust commiserating on a subject that deeply affected the both of us. I’dve considered it a bonding moment if I were with anyone else. The California sunset blazed against the horizon line of the ocean, streaking the sky with swathes of orange, pink, and purple. Though it had felt pointless I had gathered up garbage and put it in a trash can near the parking lot of the beach. The soft sandscape looked marginally better, but there was still a lot of debris left that I couldn’t easily get to. It was sobering to see the impact human waste had left here, even after such an amount of time.

Jacob was stumblingly throwing driftwood together in a pile in order to make a fire. I’d dragged over larger logs to use as benches. I wasn’t sure how he intended to start the fire, but I let him cobble together the pile nonetheless as I took small sips from the bottle of rum. It burned all through me, and I wondered if this was how Rei felt all the time. I still preferred the airiness of champagne to this heavy, suffocating feeling of drunkenness.

Jacob stood up, arms wheeling for balance. He had made a teepee out of the wood and shoved bits of dried leaves and pieces from an old coconut husk in between the logs. I watched the sunset until I heard a final clatter of dry wood, then the crackle of flames starting to rise. I blinked at the fire, wondering how Jacob had started it. He thumped down on the log across from me, and stretched his toes towards the growing fire.

“How’d you do that?” I asked.

Jacob squinted at me as if he couldn’t see me clearly, and I had asked a very stupid question. He pulled a lighter out of his pocket and shook it lightly back and forth. “You think this is my first rodeo? I grew up in California. Beach fires are what we do.”

I nodded and looked back over the horizon. Who knew? Lighters still worked. I wondered if he had found it around here, or if he had always had it on his person. It didn’t matter, really. The fire was hot, my stomach was hot from the rum. That’s all I needed.

My thoughts turned towards home. Somewhere, across the ocean, Usagi and Rei were probably holed up in the palace; maybe watching old movies snuggled together in a pile like we used to do. Maybe Usagi was chattering lightly about all the idealistic things she wanted to do. Rei would probably be silently critiquing every point Usagi made, some more harshly than others. She wouldn’t let her exasperation show, not yet anyway. Or maybe they were in different sections entirely. Perhaps Usagi was playing a video game on Rei’s bed while Rei meditated at the fire. Or maybe Rei had sequestered herself in her wing and paced and pondered and grieved privately. I missed them more than I wanted to. I wondered if this whole venture was all for naught. It certainly didn’t seem that there was anyone else left in the world.

Jacob and I sat in sour silence, occasionally sipping as the sun dipped under the line of the horizon. I was beginning to hate this drink, but there was nothing else to do. Jacob seemed committed to obliterating his feelings, taking long swigs as quickly as he could. I was hungry, tired, and ready to find a shelter for the night.

“I see the ghost of Riisa every corner I turn and Mars is there. Mars looks like a warped mirror of hers.” Jacob blurted out suddenly, as if he was yelling at the flames. The fire crackled between us, casting deep shadows across Jacob’s face. He looked almost hollow – as if the features of his face had been carved from a piece of driftwood. He sighed heavily and dragged his stare at me.

I felt my chest tighten. Like a lightning strike I was transported through time. Millenia ago the scene had been flipped and it had been myself pouring my heart out regarding a man I shouldn’t have across the fire to another man whom I had quickly found a friend in. I realized in that moment that part of why I felt so angry with Jacob and his sullenness was that I missed my friend. But Jacob wasn’t Jadeite, and I wasn’t exactly Venus either.

This version of Jadeite wasn’t quick to laugh, or to join me in pranks, or dole out tidbits of advice that were more solemn than expected. Maybe that was still there somewhere, buried under the grief. Perhaps I should have been giving him more credit all along. I blinked and my head began to swim. Too much. The rum was overpowering me.

“It’d be one thing if I could just mourn in peace, but Riisa lurks everywhere I look,” Jacob continued. He poked the fire and a tongue of flame uncurled toward the sky like a cat waking from a nap.

Pity. What I felt was pity. But, pity was the wrong emotion for this. I leaned back on my log and braced myself with my arms behind me.

“You’re looking at it wrong,” I slurred. Oh no. This was going wrong. “Riisa looked like Mars.” I tore my eyes from the fire and looked at him bleary-eyed. “I did it too. I can’t count the number of crushes and boyfriends who looked like Kunzite. The difference is I knew what I was doing. They were all a poor simulacrum for the real thing. And now,” I paused trying to keep the word vomit from turning into actual vomit, “now, when he stands in front of me I can’t even look him in the eyes.” A part of me had been hoping this would have been a stunning revelation for Jacob, but instead he just stared back at me flatly.

“No shit! You think that didn’t occur to me?” His words erupted from inside him. I had finally pushed him too far. “How fucking creepy is that? To think that you truly can’t be attracted to people who don’t look like your dead lovers from eons past? This whole debacle is just inescapable for eternity? Helpful, Mina, really.”

Tears sprung to my eyes despite myself. He’d finally used my name, but it was to yell at me. “You have a point I suppose,” I mumbled. I scrubbed roughly at my eyes with the back of my sleeve and sniffed, hoping it looked like smoke got in my eyes.

Jacob sighed deeply. He was standing right over me, now. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. He sat down next to me. “I am not handling the adjustment well. I just can’t wrap my head around it all. I shouldn’t be–”

“Just stop,” I cut him off. “I know you’re grieving, I know guilt can be so overpowering. But you should be here.” I didn’t try to stop my tears now. “Mamoru’s not the only one who missed you, you know.”

Where did that come from? I wondered to myself. It wasn’t untrue. I did miss the version of who he was before everything went wrong. Jacob had the decency to look a bit taken aback.

“That wasn’t what I was going to say,” he said after a moment. He speared me with an incredibly intense stare, then began again with a measured tone. “I was going to say, I shouldn’t be taking it out on you.” Suddenly he was leaning very close to my face. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. My heart began pounding as my tears dried up. His gaze drifted down my face and I wondered if he was going to try and kiss me. And for some reason did I want him to? I held my breath, panicking, as he lingered there, before he muttered “I’m tired,” and collapsed into my lap. I sat there stunned for several moments, watching his chest rise and fall after his eyes fluttered shut. It felt eerily similar to my first encounter with him in this lifetime.

The alcohol churned in my stomach, clawing its way back up my throat leaving a burning trail behind. This was very wrong. And despite the sands of space and time shifting like the waves on the sea before me I couldn’t do this to Rei. It had to be the alcohol. I lowered us down to the sand and slid out from under him, pacing around the fire a few times before settling back down across the fire from him again, my back to the sea. I considered dousing the flames, but I was numb despite the rum and resorted to biting my thumb nail and staring at the fire long into the night, deep in thought.

I must have fallen asleep somewhere short of dawn, because I awoke to shouting.