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kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face

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spencer knows about the irrationality of love. he knows its a collection of chemicals in the brain. he knows the affect of these chemicals. but suddenly, he cant bring himself to care.

derek is holding him close to his chest and spencer is sobbing. every part of his body aches. derek cradles him into his chest in the ambulance while the emt’s busy themselves with bandaging spencer’s wounds. they pack up and start for the hospital, and spencer lays pleading eyes on derek.

“don’t leave.”

“never, pretty boy.”

and somehow, that makes the ache in his chest worse. spencer lays down on the stretcher and squeezes his eyes shut. he feels derek’s hand wind into his. he holds on for dear life because he knows he will fall apart the second he lets go. derek stays with him in the ambulance, at the hospital. he never lets go of his hand until he has to, even then he’s always nearby.

spencer doesn’t know how much more his heart can handle. his stupid little crush has developed into stupid love and he hates and wishes everything was different. that derek didn’t see him as his kid brother, a child that needed to be guided through the world, he wishes he was anything like her. 12 years of his stupid crush on his stupid co worker has developed into 12 years of unrequited love for his stupid, straight, soon-to-be married co worker.