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Nine Maid Dresses

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Hanging innocently in the closet: nine maid dresses. On one side of them, the entire group was assembled, in various states of nervousness and boredom.

Haruna fidgeted before taking her role as leader. "Obviously, our healers should be able to maximize what they can do, which means these are the best clothes for their SP use. Hisui, Kohaku? And Natsuki, you're all used to wearing these, so it shouldn't be a problem."

Three of the dresses were taken by the actual maids without fuss. The easiest part was over.

"Caren, Len... That's you too."

Len silently took the smallest of the dresses.

"Hm, to see a woman of the cloth in such attire..." Caren commented softly. She accepted the dress when Haruna handed it to her, then glanced over at Lancer, who immediately went pale and petrified.

"That's five, leaving four dresses to focus on increasing damage output. I think we should give the dresses to the people with the Soul spirit, since it costs so much SP. Since Touko rarely takes the field and we only have four dresses left, she's excluded from this," Haruna continued.

"I couldn't picture myself in a maid dress, anyway," Touko commented lightly. "Who does that leave?"

"Besides me?" Haruna picked a dress and folded it over her lap. Sigh. "Tohsaka, Tohno Shiki, and Lancer."

There was a moment of silence.

"No way in hell!"

She winced at three people shouting simultaneously at her. "It's only a practical solution, when anybody can equip it - and Tohsaka, you're a girl, what do you have to complain about?"

"I am not wearing that just to get a little more damage out!" Rin shot back. "No power will ever put me in that thing on the battlefield! I am not, I am not-"

"I guess we'll have to swap you out for Kaleido-Ruby, then. Soul is too powerful to go to waste." When Rin growled and fell silent, Haruna turned to Lancer and Shiki. "You're complaining because you're guys, right?"

"I think that's a good complaint," Shiki answered, with his face in one hand. "Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's completely normal for guys to go onto the battlefield wearing maid dresses and not get laughed out of existence."

"I am going to set you on fire." Lancer looked like he had more to say, but Caren set a hand very gently on his shoulder.

"Hm? A dog that won't go through what his Master will should be punished, or it will never learn to be more loyal." She smiled, not at all friendly. Lancer too quieted down.

"...Okay. We've distributed all of the maid uniforms, I guess." Haruna coughed. "N-next, we have nine of Ciel's vestments, since quickness is always important..."

The other men in the room, who had relaxed after the final dress was given out, tensed back up again.

"And then in our weapon supply, nine of these Phantasm Rods, for critical hits..."

Shirou raised a hand. "Can you just kill us now instead?"