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Glasses. Glasses Are Important.

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“Guhhh- Barold! Bad touch!” Taako yelps and jerks to the side.

Barry snatches his hand back and holds it up in the air. “Shit! I’m sorry!”

The elf glares at the sheepish human. “Glasses Barry, glasses! Dude you’re basically my brother in law and I love you but you have groped my ass far too many times.”

“In my defense you two have the same ass. Like- They’re identical.” Barry does this weird gesture thing with both hands that makes Taako’s urge to strangle him raise just ever so slightly higher.

“Why do you know that? Why would you ever know that!?” Taako waves wildly as his voice gets louder. “You’re legally not allowed to know that!”

“I lived with you for a hundred years, I think I know what your ass looks like!” Barry crosses his arms in front of him and sits at one end of the couch. “Wait, why are you here anyway I thought this was a Reaper Squad thing?”

“You are literally in my boyfriend’s apartment.” Taako also folds his arms in front of him and sits down at the other end of the couch. The only difference is that the elf has one leg thrown up over the armrest of the couch and the other folded close to himself.

“Hey babe, you left these at home.” Lup walks in, glasses in hand and Kravitz trailing behind her. They see Taako and Barry sitting as far away as they possibly can while looking anywhere but each other. Lup immediately comes to a conclusion. “Barold did you grope my brother again?”

“YOU TWO HAVE THE SAME ASS!” Barry throws his hands in the air in frustration.

Kravitz, now looking slightly panicked but mostly confused, looks back and forth between Barry and Taako. “Is this the knowing what Taako’s ass looks like thing? Actually I don’t know if I want to know.”

“You were here for that?” Taako questions his boyfriend.

“I fuckin live here babe, and the walls aren’t that thick.” Kravitz states as if it should be obvious.

Taako shrugs. The man can practically teleport, it’s not like he knows where he is every second of every day. “Lup how long have you been here? Could the groping have been prevented?” Taako turns his glare to his sister.

Lup rolls her eyes and takes a seat on the arm of the couch next to Barry. Kravitz has long since given up on getting either of the twins to sit on his furniture normally. “Nope, just got here. I knocked on the door though instead of tearing a hole through reality directly into the living room, you know, like a normal fucking person.”

“If I have cool-ass powers, I’m gonna use them.”

“Try using them when you can see properly.” Lup grins and slides Barry’s glasses onto his face, patting his cheek when she’s done. “Now apologize for traumatizing my brother no matter how funny it is.”

“I already did!” Barry is most definitely pouting.

Taako sticks his tongue out at the jean clad human.

Lup pauses for a moment. “Oh well in that case, Taako get the fuck out this is Reaper Squad business.”

“I personally think Barold should be the one getting kicked out here.” Taako huffs at his twin.

“Actually babe this is slightly important and top secret.” Kravitz looks at his boyfriend apologetically.

“Top secret? So I should definitely stay.”

“Oh no, it’s so official I’ll be putting on my work voice.” Kravitz clears his throat and says the next few words in his god-awful terrible horrible disgusting cockney accent. “Official business from the Raven Queen ‘erself, innit?”

“Nope, Taako out. Taako is so out.”