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Things Class 1-A Is Not Allowed To Do At UA

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1. The "Bakusquad" is to stop screaming "POGCHAMP" at the top of their lungs any time Bakugo does anything remotely cool-looking in hero training. Actually, all of you are just banned from saying pogchamp or any variant thereof, period.

2. Yes, I do appreciate it when students bring me jelly packs. Lychee are my favorite. No, bringing me jelly packs will not get you out of failing your assignments.

3. Todoroki is expressly forbidden from having a corkboard, thumbtacks, string, or any other manner of conspiracy wall material. Giving Todoroki access to anything that fuels his conspiracy theorist tendencies, especially Midoriya's notebooks, is right out.

4. Related: Todoroki is to stop telling everyone who will listen that Midoriya is All Might's secret love child. This theory has already been disproven. Neither is Shinsou mine. (Addendum from Nedzu: He's adopted.)

5. Still related: Todoroki MAY theorize away about the exact identities of villains, just in case he actually gets it right. He may not, however, theorize about their ancestry.

6. Some of you have noted that I do possess a wedding ring. Anyone discovered to be attempting to identify my spouse will be sentenced to three weeks of house arrest plus cleaning duty, and double that of my personal Hell Training.

7. None of you are to attempt to give an animal into Bakugo's care ever again. This goes double for Pomeranians.

8. You may not keep a cat at the dorms without sending me pictures and a general idea of their care routine so that I can cover for you should you be incapacitated. For dogs, ask Hound Dog. Any other animal, ask Kouda. Kouda is expected to keep the rest of 1-A apprised on how to care for his rabbit should he be incapable.

9. Nedzu and Midoriya are no longer allowed to collaborate on personal side projects. Yes, I'm glad you all gave Endeavor what was coming to him in the court of public opinion. No, I am not proud that you broke the internet for a week in the process.

10. Todoroki may no longer host "All You Can Eat Chicken McNugget Mondays." (Addendum from Nedzu: Todoroki may continue, just not by using his sperm donor's credit card. That's a little much, even for me.)

11. Both you and 1-B are to stop staging 1-on-1 fights between yourselves outside of class and treating them like Pokémon battles. Yes, Kaminari is a bootleg Pikachu. No, that does not make this okay, even in the name of "extra training." If you want that so badly, ask for my Hell Training. Real fights don't take turns anyway.

12. Tokoyami IS responsible for any shenanigans that Dark Shadow gets up to. You are perfectly capable of controlling Dark Shadow. Do so.

13. Dark Shadow is not an SCP object, and "The Keter is loose!" is not an acceptable battle cry.

14. Related, none of you are to convince Hatsume to attempt to recreate any SCP objects. Especially 113. There are Quirks that do that without a death rate attached, believe it or not.

15. Yes, he was a garbage rat who deserved expulsion and then some, but Mineta's name is not "the m word." Stop confusing Eri.

16. Related, anyone who teaches Eri an actual curse word will have Hell Training for the rest of the semester.

17. You all are not allowed to look through Midoriya's notebooks for assignments concerning pro heroes or Quirks. Or, at least get permission first and at least adapt the information to your own writing style.

18. Ashido, and any other student, for that matter, is to refrain from break dancing in the dorms, until it's more break dancing than dancing that breaks things.

19. Hatsume is a person. She is not to be used as a tool or a threat by any of you. Getting her involved in prank wars is right out.

20. Related, Bakugo and Hatsume may not interact. Power Loader fields enough explosions in the Design Lab as it is.

21. I'm not going to preach America's abstinence only hogwash, but you all are not to be starting any pregnancies. Use your head.

22. You all are not allowed to attempt to spook Mirio into activating his Quirk and, consequently, out of his clothes. Find some other way to get even for how he trounced you.

23. None of you are to engage with Monoma. Yes he's an asshole. No, it is not your job to deal with it. Actively goading Monoma is right out. Kendo has it hard enough.

24. You are not to convince Momo to help you recreate scenes from Doom Patrol, especially not "The butts are loose!"

25. Nobody but Bakugo is to use Bakugo's laundry detergent. I don't care that you're out, I care that Bakugou's sweaty clothes don't turn into time bombs.

26. Sero is to stop taping things, especially people, to the ceiling. Hanging from his own ceiling to take Spider-Man selfies is right out.

27. You all are not allowed to convince Hatsume to design items from Team Fortress 2. Yes, a Medi-Gun would be a useful tool for heroes. No, I do not trust any person with the power of Ünercharge.

28. Attempting to have Eri use puppy dog eyes on me to assign less homework will only result in more homework. Stop being manipulative, Overhaul did enough of that to her.

29. Anyone who gives Eri glitter will be expelled with great prejudice.

30. If you want to bring a sleeping bag to class, do it the right way and personally wrangle your rights for it from Nedzu. (Addendum from Nedzu: Don't bother. It's not for students.)

31. If I say to not do something, it's not because I'm trying to control your mind. ~~Yes it is~~ No it is not, and Todoroki may not edit this document.

32. No, Midnight's Quirk is not "forget-me smoke." (Addendum from Midnight: I appreciate the Megamind reference, but no.)

33. Nobody is allowed to commission Momo to make an enormous horse of flying robots to descend on hero training in, especially not for "PRESENTATION!" Any offending devices will be confiscated for Nedzu's personal use. Any such devices destroyed before confiscation are on the student to clean up after themselves.

34. Present Mic is not short for Presentation Michael, Presentation Microphone, OR Presentation Microsoft. Only Tensei is allowed to use that last one, anyway.

35. The presence of a rabbit in Kouda's room does not make the act of entering said room "going down the rabbit hole." Please stop, you're making Kouda uncomfortable.

36. I understand that Todoroki is a culturally deprived child. Nevertheless, Studio Ghibli marathons going past 3 AM in the common room are right out. The same goes for Disney, especially the Disney Channel Originals.

37. Related, Jirou is not allowed to start Camp Rock in the dorms.

38. Anyone blaring that stupid distorted Green Hill Zone theme any time Iida uses his Quirk to run gets a week of Hell Training.

39. Related, that goes double for Eurobeat. That was Tensei's brand, and I don't want Iida trying to break into Tartarus to kick Stain in the balls.

40. Anyone mentioning Ms. Joke in my presence gets two weeks of Hell Training.

41. You all are NOT to attempt to intern with Endeavor with the intent of pranking him. (Addendum from Aizawa: Actually, you all are no longer allowed to intern with Endeavor, at all. Midoriya, you're goddamn terrifying.)

42. Decaf coffee is not permitted on UA campus.

43. While I agree that Midoriya's mother is a wonderful individual, no, you are not allowed to petition her to adopt the whole class. Petitioning her to adopt me is right out.

44. Aoyama is to stop horrifying his classmates with cheese. The rest of you are to learn to not treat non-Japanese food as an eldritch concept from beyond the bounds of the universe.

45. The next person to swap the orange juice in the fridge for Sunny D has a month of Hell Training. Stop messing with Iida.

46. "It's not as bad as Midoriya" is not a reason to get yourself in a situation that breaks your bones. Do not test Recovery Girl's patience.

47. Yes, Recovery Girl's gummies are a controlled substance. That means no, you are not allowed to infiltrate her office to take some when you are out of coffee.

48. Kaminari, if you are going to watch vine compilations at 3 AM, make sure your earbuds are in before turning up the volume.

49. After a certain incident, no UA student is ever to use the phrase "settle it in Smash" within earshot of Midoriya.

50. Do not ever ping me in the class chat unless someone is literally dying. If you do, I will mark half off your assignment and whoever's I was grading. If I was grading your assignment, you get a zero. Use of @everyone is right out.