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Morow Christmas - A HisoIllu advent calendar

Chapter Text

“Christmas is just a commercial holiday that forces people into believing the only way to show love is to buy gifts for each other“, Hisoka said.

They sat in their new shared apartment, eating falafel and talking.

Since the heater was yet to be installed and the November this year was cold, they were wrapped in fuzzy blankets. Hisoka wore pink socks, matching his hair.

Illumi took a bite of his burrito. “So you don’t celebrate?”

Hisoka shook his head.

Illumi thought about it for a second.

His family had always celebrated, well, if you can call it that.

They had a banquet every time winter came around and sometimes, the children would get gifts by their sheer unnatural amount of aunts.

‘Gifts’, Illumi chuckled, ‘more like weapons’.

Winter without Christmas sounded like a needle without a flesh to pierce through, just not making sense.

Not celebrating was unacceptable.

“In this household, we celebrate Christmas”, Illumi stated and finished his food.

Hisoka chuckled.

“If you say so.”

Comfortable silence spread in the room.

Illumi thought about how Hisoka asked him to move in.


Three months ago, they were searching for an apartment for Hisoka.

Because he forgot it, he had lost a fight in Heaven’s Arena and his opponent (who’s name, Hisoka swore, he would never forget - although he already did) had become Floor Master.

Illumi asked his father for advice and established contact with a landlord who actually had an apartment he couldn’t rent out; it was very luxurious and the price therefore outrageously exorbitant.

Perfect for someone like Hisoka.

A great bedroom with space for at least two king size beds, the living room had enough room to dance (something Hisoka enjoyed surprisingly much) and the view over York Shin was heavenly.

He fell in love with it immediately and set up a renting contract right then and there.

When he showed it to Illumi, proud of his discovery, said was speechless.

“That’s a... big apartment for one person.”

“Hm. It is big, you’re right.”

“How much is the rent?”

Hisoka let out a half-repressed, nervous laughter.

“268 million Jenny... per year”

“Wow, that’s... much rent, even for you.”

“Well, I thought…”, the magician pulled out two keychains from behind his back, one with a tear, one with a star pendant and both equipped with a key card.

“I thought we could move in together.”


Hisoka raised his head, just to see a shocked Illumi.

All of a sudden, Hisoka’s face turned pink, showing the same shade as his makeup and hair.

“You don’t have to, of course. The hunter’s license I got sure makes money if I sell it.”


“Of course, Illumi accepted. I never doubted it, actually, I knew it the second he had seen the apartment. His heart eyes gave it away.”

“I did not have heart eyes. And I should probably move out, I am already annoyed-”

“Don’t you have a mission?”

“I do. That’s why I will leave now.”

“Come back soon, baby~”

“Hisoka, give me the mic. Hello reader, here speaks the author! I didn’t want to intervene, actually, but Hisoka left me no choice. Hisoka, would you please stop texting Illumi and come here to do your task? We had an agreement.”

“Fine, darling~ please remember your part of our pact.”

“I will. Hurry now, I don’t have time for chatting!”

“Always in a hurry, what a hasty kid. Anyway, my task is to explain this thing. Basically, it is an advent calendar: Every day there’s a new gift but instead of chocolate, it’s chapters of Illumi and I living in our beautiful apartment. Great stuff is approaching you, I can say that, BUT! No spoilers, I had to promise it. That’s all I had to say, right?”

“Yes. Thank you, Hisoka. You can go now and do whatever you want- Wait, no, I didn’t mean that literally! Do as you please within your borders. And to you, dear reader: Happy first advent and I hope you have fun with this calendar!”

Chapter Text

Illumi and Hisoka snuggled in bed.

Illumi read his favourite poems to Hisoka, who was taking care of his lover’s hair.

A phone rang. The annoying beeping pierced through their ears.

“It’s yours. Don’t you want to answer?”, Hisoka asked and eyed the phone.

“It’s your father.”

Illumi sighed, stood up and went to the balcony, closing the sliding door behind him.

Only then he answered the call.

Hisoka could hear him mumble but didn’t quite catch what his lover said.

It was nothing new that Illumi needed privacy while being on the phone with his father, 24 years being around him made him extremely anxious.

Hisoka understood that.

What he didn’t understand was why for Hell’s Sake Illumi still worked for Silva Zoldyck.

He could quit, they could live in peace in their apartment, they-

Hisoka’s train of thoughts got interrupted by Illumi opening the door again and fresh, cold night air entering the heated up room.

An upset look decorated his beautiful face and he massaged his temples.

“What’s up, love?”, Hisoka asked and stood up to hug Illumi.

“I got a job offer”, Illumi whispered against the magician’s neck.

“Although you just finished one?”

Hisoka began massaging his lover’s head and listened to Illumi’s explanations.

“I am to kill a mark, of course. I said I would think about it. They would pay up to 70.000 Jenny after all.”

“And why do you still contemplate?”

Illumi pulled away from the embrace and looked into the magician’s golden, shimmering eyes.

“They want you. I would have to kill you”, he said, his voice hoarse and brittle.

Hisoka chuckled: “They want me and only pay 70.000 Jenny? You should definitely sue them, these are some horrible working conditions you’ve got there.”

The magician watched Illumi who avoided his stinging gaze and nervously cracked his knuckles.

Hisoka raised his hand to caress Illumi’s cheek and temple before pulling him into a slow kiss.

“What is the problem, Illu?”

“I don’t want you to die, don’t you get that? You truly are an idiot”, Illumi raised his head. His eyes were watery and his brows furrowed, an expression Hisoka had never seen on his face before.

The magician embraced him again.

“I am your idiot, Illu. And you could never kill me, you love me too much”, Hisoka smirked.

“70.000 Jenny are a lot, though”, Illumi jokingly said as if he considered taking the mission; even though they both knew he would never, not for every luxury he could ask for, kill a loved one.

And that’s what Hisoka was: Not only a loved one. He was his lover.

Chapter Text

Hisoka woke up to the sun beaming into his face.

He groaned.

Finally, Illumi and him had a day on which they could sleep in and now he woke up at - he looked at the clock - 8 am?

Sure, it was nice to see the sunrise but waking up at this unholy time was just humiliating.

And the worst part - Hisoka couldn't fall asleep again.

He decided to stand up and try closing the curtains, try to bar out every source of light, maybe that would help.

A tug on his sleeping shirt held him back: It was Illumi.

“Whaddya doin’?”, he murmured into the pillows.

Hisoka changed his plans and sat down again, intertwining their fingers: Admiring Illumi's beauty was more important than sleep.

His hair stretched around him like a crown, cherishing the somehow both feminine and astonishingly masculine features of his face glowing in the sunlight.

The dainty curves of his body clinging to his blanket.

His pale lips.

His slightly upturned nose.

His deep, black eyes looking almost brown in the sun.

He looked just like a kitten.

A very cute, very tired kitten.

How he snuggled the sheets where Hisoka had laid, breathing in his scent and feeling his warmth that vanished quickly, it was adorable.

“I can't sleep anymore“, Hisoka whispered and pecked Illumi's forehead, “but you can stay in bed, it's your free day after all.“

“It's fine“, Illumi whispered back, although there wasn't any need to be quiet.

“I'll be up in a second...“

Then he fell asleep again.

Hisoka chuckled, tucked his lover back into the sheets and left the room to make coffee.

Chapter Text

“Illumi?”, Hisoka called.

“Bedroom”, the answer came almost immediately.

Illumi sat on the bed, reading an anthology of poetry and eating ramen.

“Good evening, Hisoka. How was your day-” A sneeze interrupted him.

“Illu, darling, are you sick? I told you to wear warm clothes-” A sneeze attack cut him off.

“Everything was fine until you came in. Maybe I’m allergic to you?” He snickered sarcastically. “What’s with the box?”

“Oh, I stole us a cat”, Hisoka said like it was the most natural.

“You- You did what?”

“I stole us a cat! We definitely need another flatmate and I know you’re not exactly fond of pets or animals in general but just look at how absolutely adorable she is!”, Hisoka sat down next Illumi and took a white little kitten out of the box he was carrying.

“I thought about naming her Byakuren, like white lotus. But that’s kinda cheesy, right?” He chuckled.

Hisoka caressed the little kitten, more lovingly than Illumi ever saw him holding anything else than himself and stretched out his hands to his face.


“Take this-, this beast away from me!”, Illumi yelled.

The magician stared at him in surprise.

“Don’t tell me… You’re allergic?!”

“I certainly am. How did you know? Did the sneezing give it away, hm?”, Illumi snapped.

This wasn’t the first time Hisoka had seen him being this mad but he found it…


Of course.

“Hisoka, I’m dead serious. We are not keeping this cat and it doesn’t matter if she’s cute, I am not going to spend the rest of my days sneezing. Bring it back!”

Illumi looked at the cat again.

It was cute.

Really. It watched him wander back and forth with eyes so clear and blue; they reminded him of Killua’s.

But it wasn’t worth it.

Another sneeze attack hit him and Illumi glared at Hisoka with tears in his eyes: “Please bring it back.”

The magician chuckled.

“Fine. I’ll bring her back. When I return, you have to tell me how you found it out. I’m dying to know~”

He just earned another glare and retreated.

Chapter Text

The sun began to set when Illumi finished his paperwork.

Through the big windows, he could see the whole of York Shin and even farther; they really had the best apartment available in this area.

The light shone through Illumi’s office and reflected on the room’s mess.

Piles of binders, files and note blocks filled with scribbling laid around, empty coffee mugs stood on every free space and the paper in the garbage can rose over its edge.

Hisoka would be really angry if he could see the state the office was in, Illumi knew for sure.

But they had a strict agreement.

Only a day after they moved in, they had set some rules to ease their living together:

Number One, Hisoka is not allowed in Illumi’s office.

The assassin just needed a space where he could rest without being annoyed by Hisoka’s (cleaning) mania.

Number Two, Illumi is not allowed to spread his mess further than said office.

Hisoka on the other hand needed a clean environment.

“I can’t think when the things aren’t where they are supposed to be”, he complained.

Number Three, No sex before missions.

“No”, Illumi said and ignored Hisoka’s pleading face.

“Not in a million years.”

These and some other rules were written on post-it notes stuck to the fridge.

And that’s where Illumi made his way to.

“Hisoka?”, he called.

“I’m in the living room” was the answer. “But don’t come in!”

Illumi stopped right before entering and raised his fine eyebrows perplexedly.

“What in Hell’s name are you doing in there?”

“I’m… whatever, what do you want?”

The assassin kept quiet, still baffled.

The door was opened, just wide enough so that Hisoka could poke his head out.

“I’m sorry but you can’t enter”, he said and grinned slyly.


“You gotta wait. I’m almost done!”

“With what?”

“You’ll see”, the magician said and closed the door again, leaving an absolutely bamboozled Illumi behind.

Maybe Hisoka just needed some time, Illumi thought and decided to prepare dinner.


Three hours after dinner (Hisoka had come out of the living room to eat and vanished quickly after), Illumi wondered what the hell was going on.

“Hisoka?” He knocked at the door of the living room.

To his surprise, the magician opened the door, smiling sheepishly.

“I apologize I have kept you waiting for so long but I am done now. You may come in”, he said and opened the door wide.

At first Illumi didn’t realise what changed.

Some painting utensils laid around but beside that, nothing.

But then, it struck him.

“Is that-”

“Yes, it is. Do you like it?”

“I- I didn’t know you could paint.”

Illumi approached the huge, almost wall-filling painting, the freshly applied paint shimmering in the unnatural glow of their living room’s lights.

“Is that us?”


“Obviously” The usual smirk adorned Hisoka’s face when Illumi turned to him.

“I- I don’t know what to say, Hisoka, it- it looks great!”

“Thank you, darling. It’s… a hidden talent, if you could say that.”

Chapter Text

The rain rattled against the panoramic windows.

They laid in their bed, Hisoka on his left side, Illumi snuggled against his chest, both watching the water running down the glass.

The record player played an old song, the scent of the strawberry tea they were drinking faded as time passed and Illlumi could hear Hisoka’s calm heartbeat.

He enjoyed it.


What he did not enjoy though was the thought of having to get up in a few minutes.

Silva had called, Illumi had a mission this evening.

In the past, he always obeyed everything his father said without complaining, but for a few years, he was defying Silva’s commands openly.

He breathed in the smell of Hisoka’s perfume.

If they put thought into it, many people thought the magician would smell like something heavy, maybe Cedarwood or Frankincense; maybe even Myrrh.

What Hisoka Morow actually smelled like was Vanilla.

Vanilla and Cinnamon.

Illumi, always having been taught that a strong smell was counterproductive to his job as an assassin, first felt revolted about smelling Hisoka; now he never wanted to miss it.


The one addressed groaned and pulled Illumi closer to his chest.

“Hisoka”, Illumi said again, caressing the magician’s hand over and over, holding it tight to his heart.

Hisoka groaned again and murmured against the assassins neck, causing him to shiver.

“Don’t go.”

Fighting a sad smile, Illumi turned around, looked his lover into the shimmering golden eyes and pulled him into a breathtaking long kiss; expressing his yearning for comfort.

“I have to”, he mumbled into the kiss.

“No you don’t. You could hire an assassin.”

Illumi pulled away: “And you think that hiring assassins wouldn’t attract attention? My father wouldn’t enjoy that.”

“Do you always do what your parents say, dear Illumi?”, Hisoka asked, grinning tiredly.

“Certainly not”, Illumi answered sheepishly.

“See? Don’t leave, baby.”

Illumi answered by burying his blushing face into the magician’s face.

Chapter Text

In the end, Hisoka had come with Illumi.

"And why again did you have to come with me?"

“It's more fun like this”, Hisoka chuckled.

Illumi sighed. It was going to be more work for him.

They sat in a tree, waiting for the mark to show up and disputing how to kill the mark.

“It’s easy: Pin to neck to immobilize and get information, then cut their throat and let them bleed out”, Illumi explained and gave his binoculars to Hisoka.

“You’d leave many traces, though… And where's the fun in that?”, Hisoka said, watching the mark’s actions through the field glasses.

“There is none and that’s the point. I just want to get over this as fast as possible.”

Hisoka groaned.

“We should have stayed in bed, Illu.”

“Unfortunately, I agree. But we didn’t and now we have to finish this, so go do your job. After all, you wanted to help.”


“Thank you, that would be all”, Illumi said. “You can die now.”

He pushed the needle further into the neck of the mark and was delighted by the sound of them gargling on their own blood.

But just as much as he enjoyed finally completing his mission, he worried about Hisoka.

The magician and him had parted to finish faster, Illumi going off to kill the target and Hisoka fighting every security departments the target had.

Illumi would never doubt his lover’s ability to kill, he rather doubted if he would do it quickly.

Hisoka… liked having fun with weaker enemies.

The assassin didn’t have to search long for the magician, although the estate was about half as big as the Zoldyck mansion: The humming gave it away.

Hisoka was fighting against like 50 people at once.

“Oh, Illu, babe, did you come to help me? That’s so nice of you~”, he purred while killing off the last enemy.

Illumi didn’t have any other choice than to admire his ass- face: Hisoka really looked best when he was eliminating opponents.

Being absolutely distracted by how gorgeous his lover was, Illumi didn’t sense it coming until it was too late: A nen bomb hit both of them.

Well, hit is the wrong word; because strangely, no damage was done.

Just an odd feeling, a tingling sensation they couldn’t shake off.

“What… what was that?”, Illumi asked under his breath.

“I- I don’t know. It came out of nowhere…”

“Why is there no damage? Don’t you think that will have consequences?”

“I guess it’s best not to worry about it too much. Maybe they just screwed up? Let’s go home.”

Illumi hesitated but thought of the warmth of their bed and realized how tired he was.

“Fine. Our bed awaits us.”

Chapter Text

When Illumi woke up, something felt off.

He couldn’t quite catch what it was and decided not to mind it for now, despite him being trained to trust his instincts.

Groaning, he got up and walked into their (admittedly overly) luxurious bathroom.

Mirrors. Everywhere.

And now he could see what was wrong, and he could feel it, too: His hair was missing.

No, that wasn’t it.

There, where a tired Illumi’s body should have been, was Hisoka.

Hisoka, his pink hair down, his eyes shimmering like the rising sun, his makeup smudged.

A second of shock passed, then-

“Fuck, Hisoka!”, Illumi yelled.


They stood in front of the mirror, now together.

“I look good~”, Hisoka grinned and ran through his-, well Illumi’s hair.

“This is not the time for jokes, Hisoka. How are we going to deal with this? I can’t call you Hisoka anymore otherwise everyone would be confused… At least I don’t have a mission today, we should try and find a solution to this disaster.”

Hisoka, who had been admiring his new body the whole time, turned to Illumi.

“I assume this is because of the nen bomb we got hit by yesterday. We don’t know when it has taken effect but if we did we could calculate when it’s going to stop. Let’s... just relax, it has to stop sometime, right?”

Illumi stared at his own body.

Being in Hisoka’s body had a perk: Finally, he could finally look down on Hisoka (well, Hisoka in his body but still - Illumi secretly had always wished for a situation like this).

He smirked and leaned down to kiss his lover but pulled away immediately.

“This is too awkward, I’m sorry”, Illumi stuttered.

Hisoka just snickered.


“Illumi, help me~”, Hisoka called from the bathroom.

“What is it?”, Illumi appeared in the door frame.

The scene he was partaking was breathtaking; he cracked up and giggled like a little child that had found sweets they weren't allowed to eat.

The magician, who had just been taking a shower, struggled with how long and thick Illumi’s hair was.

It laid on his back like a dead animal.

“Do you-”, Illumi’s sentences were interrupted by painful wheezes, “do you know how you look right now?”

Hisoka only glared.

Just washing the hair was a nuisance but when he tried to brush it he had enough.

“Illumi, I want my own body back. You know I love your hair but you have to cut it from time to time. It’s reaching your knees.”

Illumi examined his hair.

“Maybe you’re right... May I cut it now? It would be very easy to determine how long I want it to be, now that I can see it from a different perspective.”

“Of course, babe”, Hisoka grinned - which was pretty horrifying considering it was Illumi’s body who never grinned like this.

‘Maybe, the body swap didn’t only affect our bodies’, Illumi thought. ‘Maybe some parts of our minds are swapped, too?”

They fell into a comfortable silence.

Since he was 12, Illumi had always cut his hair on his own.

It was some kind of symbol of his, he took good care of it.

Therefore, cutting it always had been a pain, letting go; something Illumi wasn’t particularly good at.

Hisoka on the other hand enjoyed the head massage he was given.

It was incredibly relaxing, having someone run through your hair and Illumi was so astonishingly gentle.



“You have to stop doing that.”

Subconsciously, Illumi had stopped cutting and just ran his hands through the slightly curly, black hair.

“Is it unpleasant?”

“No… It’s the opposite”, Hisoka said and turned around.

In his eyes shimmered pure lust.

“Not in a thousand years, Hisoka. Most definitely not. We are not going to-”


Chapter Text


Hisoka opened the door to his apartment.

“Illumi, dear?”

No response, but the magician could hear clattering of plates in the kitchen and a muffled ‘damn it’.

He smirked.

Usually, it was hard to scare the assassin. Hisoka tried to take every chance he could get but it wasn’t easy.

But he (literally) had an ace up his sleeve: He knew Illumi very well and he knew it was particularly easy to scare Illumi when he was frustrated.

Whenever he is frustrated, he lets down all his guards. He gets worked up and if you annoy him too much, he snaps.

And that is exactly the reaction he wanted to trigger.

As he walked through the luxurious apartment he felt the exciting surge of adrenaline rushing through his veins, felt it growing stronger, his desire for his lover; he opened the door to the kitchen and -

Started laughing.

“Illu, darling, what in the name of your dad are you wearing?”

Said turned around and hissed: “Where were you? I told you to come back as soon as possible.”

Hisoka grinned.

“You told me not to return until I found what you wanted.” After seeing his lover’s face scrunching up even more, he added: “I’m back now, we can bake! Although I can think of something else we could do with that apron…”

Illumi looked down on his body as if he just realised the cute-ish pink cooking apron he was wearing.

Fitting the pink apron, he wore purple pants, a white undershirt and his long, black hair in a messy braid to protect it.

“No way. Come, I just want to finish this.”

“I’d love to come-”

“Hisoka! Stop it already.”

They were baking cookies. Well, Illumi was baking; Hisoka just stood around, watching the black-haired roll out the cookie dough and sneaking some of the dough into his mouth every now and then.


Not even five minutes in, Hisoka was bored already.

Illumi had foreseen this. From experience he knew how unstable the magician's mood was and how his mood swings were almost always predictable.

He sighed.


"Yes, dear?", Hisoka looked up from the newspaper he was reading.

"Read aloud", Illumi demanded.

"Of course, dear", Hisoka said and searched for an article that would interest the assassin.

"Twenty civilians murdered in their own mansion", he read.

An unfamiliar, terrifying grin crept on Illumi's face.

“Do they perhaps mention where that happened?”

“York Shin city…”

“I guess that was me then”, Illumi said and Hisoka smirked.

“I thought so.” He got up and hugged Illumi from behind.

"Illu, dear, you're menacing when you're like this".

“And you like it”, Illumi placed an open mouthed kiss on Hisoka’s lips.

He tasted like cookie dough.


Illumi shoved the last tray with chocolate cookies into the oven, set a timer to 30 minutes and sighed.

They had enough time.

He searched for Hisoka. The magician had disappointedly left the kitchen as soon as he realized Illumi wouldn’t be available for any more games.

He found him on the balcony.

“Huh~ already done?”

“Not yet. It wasn’t very nice to leave the work to me, you know?”

“You’re the housewife, I’m-”

“No.” A needle, menacing to pierce through his skin and flesh into his aorta, interrupted him. “I am no more a housewife than you earn money.”

Hisoka chuckled at the danger he faced.

“You have to stop threatening me, it really turns me on, you know?”

“You know… that is exactly what I was aiming for, Hisoka.”

Chapter Text

“Damn, babe, your cookies are pure perfection. Just like you. Hmm~”, Hisoka moaned and stuffed the rest of his cookie into his mouth.

Illumi remained silent.

“Really, Illu, you have talent! You should do something with it. Have you ever considered doing something with that talent? Going into that field? Maybe open a bakery?” Hisoka squealed. “Oh my, we could open a bakery together! Babe, why don’t you say anything?”

“There is only one cookie left and I am going to eat it right now.”

They were sitting in the living room, watching their favourite tv show, snuggling and kissing; from time to time Hisoka ran his fingers through Illumi’s hair and the assassin melted right then and there.

“Oh, Illumi, you know I love you, right?”

“Yes, you do.”

“And you love me, too, right?”

“No. Now give me the cookie.”

Hisoka frowned: “You already had so many-”

“Yes, because I made them.”

“I paid for the ingredients!”

Illumi pulled a needle out of somewhere (just where did he keep them, Hisoka asked himself) and grinned.

“Give me the cookie, Hisoka, or you won’t be able to move for the next few days.”

“Sounds awesome. Will you take good care of me then?”

“Certainly not. I will hand you over to your enemies and hope you rot in some dirty underground cave.”

The magician smirked, leaned over and kissed Illumi on the cheek.

“You’re incredibly cute when you’re mad, baby. Take the cookie”, he said and gave Illumi the cookie.

“I had enough sweet things for today anyway”, Hisoka said, still broadly grinning.

“You’re so cheesy, Hisoka.”

“And you love it”, Hisoka hugged Illumi’s chest and continued watching TV.

Illumi just rolled his eyes but pulled him closer.

“Maybe I do.”

Hisoka couldn’t stop grinning.

Chapter Text

Hisoka had gone out early, fetching drinks with Machi, and being home alone definitely had its perks for Illumi.

It was nice to finally have some peace.

The apartment stretched in silence.

Illumi could do whatever he wanted - watch his documentaries, jam to the music he liked (just where did Hisoka pick up a taste in music this bad, Illumi asked himself on a daily basis), wander around without annoying Hisoka.

If he wanted to, he even could have worked on his paperwork without being bothered by the clown he called his lover.

He decided not to, though.

It would have been perfect.

It would have been perfect, and that was what worried Illumi: It wasn’t.

The moment Hisoka had left the house, Illumi already felt the emptiness creep up his spine and take his mind in possession.

Lately, he found it hard to part ways with Hisoka.

Before they had started dating, Illumi had been sure the love of his life was his work; nothing else apart from money, family and work mattered.

Then he had met Hisoka.

“I just wanted to have a good time, just a bit of free time without my parents, getting a bit spoiled by this brick, damn it, I was in for his money! WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME I COULD GET ATTACHED?”, he yelled into the cold air of their apartment.

The apartment kept quiet.

“God may damn Hisoka Morow”, he groaned.

Again, he received no answer.

Illumi wondered what in Hell’s name he was supposed to do.

Kikyo would say he should come home immediately, he should never even think about moving out again and that he should have some dignity, some self-respect, that he should pay close attention to his composure - he could almost hear her voice screeching and rambling into his ears.

Silva would agree and maybe he would even resort to other means, would maybe punish him like he scolded him when he messed up the thing with Alluka.

Maybe, just maybe, he would lock him into the basement again, but considering that he had missions and paperwork, he wasn’t sure. After all, he was a grown man.

He ended up actually working on his paperwork - it was overdue and his parents had called him thrice already, demanding that he finished it (Silva) and worrying about his health (Kikyo).

That really was something to worry about: before Hisoka and him moved in together, he never had forgotten any assignments nor messed up a mission - now he had already done that twice.

Not being bothered by Hisoka, he finished his work comparatively swiftly and wandered around the apartment.

Through the lofty windows the crescent of the new moon peeked, trying to spare a glance at Illumi’s misery and sneering - at least it felt like it.

He dimmed the lights and poured himself a glass of whiskey. His heart ached - Hisoka had bought these glasses because “you can’t drink whiskey from just any glass! Have some class~”.

He snickered with a melancholic undertone.

His playlist playing in the background, he watched the lights way down below on the streets dance with each other, intertwine and seperate, and it made his heart ache.

Without having any reason to, he felt lonely - the first time in his whole life.

Being alone? Sure, no problem. He worked better alone.

But never in his 24 years on earth had he felt like this, like there was a hole in his heart only one person could fill.

It annoyed him to the core.

He decided to take a walk to get rid of this loneliness.


The second he stepped outside, Illumi shivered.

Maybe he should have taken a jacket with him.

It was freezing for the 10th of december; he could see his breath condensate in the cold and it looked like it could begin to snow every moment.

After he had walked the avenue their apartment was located in up and down once, seeing Christmas lights already and watching people stumble through the wind, he decided that his head was clear enough - plus, his fingers felt like they would fall off at any moment.

Back home, he made himself a cup of coffee and attempted to read a few lines of his favourite poem anthology but failed immediately.

His mind wandered around - at this rate, he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep either.

He didn’t want to watch TV, he didn’t want to eat, he couldn’t sleep, what should he do?

Illumi wandered around, checked the clock at least twice, poured himself another cup of coffee (maybe that was what kept him awake?); he wanted to call a friend but he didn’t have any friends beside Hisoka.

‘I am miserable! Why on earth am I feeling so LONELY?!’, he screamed internally and almost threw his glass of Whiskey into the window.


“Fuck it. I’m calling him”, he said to himself and took out his phone.

He were halfway dialing Hisoka’s number (it was the only one he knew by heart) when-

‘You don’t want to bother him’, a little voice inside his head said.

Where was this voice coming from?

‘But you miss him’, another voice said.

Were these the infamous ‘angel and devil on your shoulder’?

Illumi wanted to ignore them and dialed again but then decided otherwise.

Bored to death, he eventually switched on the TV and dived right into a documentary about bumblebees.

He liked them, they were cuddly, soft and just plain adorable, just like him as he sat on the couch, covered with blankets-

The sound of the front door quietly opening and closing startled Illumi and caused him to fall off the couch he slouched on.

“Kitten?”, Hisoka whispered and sat himself next to the assassin, softly stroking his cheek.

Illumi groaned and sat up.

“Hisoka?”, he asked sleepily, his voice a bit brittle.

“Yes. I’m back. Why aren’t you in bed? It’s-” Hisoka looked at his watch, “it’s 3 in the morning!”

Not answering, Illumi hugged him and before he realized it, hot tears were staining Hisoka’s shirt.

“What happened?”, the magician asked softly.

At first, Illumi’s sobs were the only thing audible but then he mumbled, still clenching onto Hisoka’s shirt: “I can’t sleep without you.”

“Aw, kitten”, Hisoka cooed and picked up Illumi who immediately wrapped his legs around his lover, “I’m here now. Let’s go to bed.”

Chapter Text

“Do you remember our first meeting?”, Hisoka asked.

Illumi, who had laid on the magician’s chest, only raised his eyebrows and looked at his lover.

“Why do you ask?”

“I want to test your memory.”

Illumi sighed and tried to remember.

“You know my memory is bad. Was it... at that fight against Jikki the Butcher?”

“Oh honey… That was way later!”

“I don’t know”, Illumi sounded frustrated. “Wasn’t it… a circus?”

“Yes”, Hisoka chuckled, “Belli’s, if I remember correctly.”

“Right. I had to kill the manager and you- You assisted me.”

“You were 8, of course I had to help!”

“At age 8, I already killed over 1200 people and worked full time for my father. I was capable, I could’ve done that alone.”

“And yet, you accepted my help.”

“I did?” Illumi blushed.

“You did. You said something like ‘Oh great Hisoka, without you I could have never killed this man-’”

“I never said something like that!”

“No”, Hisoka chuckled and caressed Illumi’s cheek, “but it would have been pretty cute.”

“I’m not cute.” Illumi pouted, proving his statement wrong right away.

“Illumi. Look at me.”

He averted Hisoka’s gaze.

“Do you want to know what you said?”


“I’ll tell you anyway. After we killed him, you asked why I helped you.”

Hearing these words, Illumi raised his head.

“I told you that I wanted to kill him beforehand but didn’t know how. And that you came in handy.”

“Bullshit. If you wanted to kill him, you’d have just done it.”

“At that time, you didn’t know that though.”

“What was the real reason?”

Hisoka smiled.

“You had seen me before, in one of your observations of the circus. Nobody noticed you as it wasn’t abnormal that an eight year old visited a circus… I remember you had this unimpressed expression on your face the whole time.” Hisoka chuckled at the thought and looked through the windows of their bedroom.

“You were unimpressed until I showed my Nen. I didn’t know if you already knew about it or if you were actually amazed by my tricks but your expression stuck in my head and I wanted to see you again… When I found you fighting against that manager, I felt the urge to get you to like me”, he grinned sheepishly.

“That’s why I helped you back then.”

Illumi remained silent, his head buried into Hisoka’s chest.


Hisoka made his lover look into his eyes by lifting his chin.

“Why- why did you never tell me?”, Illumi sobbed, holding his head in his hands, tears streaming down his face. “We have known each other since over 16 years and you didn’t tell me till now?”

The magician caressed his hands.

“I never felt the need to.”


“Well, I did get you to like me, didn’t I?”

Chapter Text

“Ah, by the way. I invited Killua to eat with us sometime. He said that little brat Gon and Alluka would tag along”, Illumi said, interrupting the comfortable silence.

Hisoka took a bite of his choquette, a typical French baked good that Illumi made him only on sundays, and nodded.

“Have you decided on a date yet?”

Illumi finished his coffee and hummed.

“Well, about that. They are coming tomorrow for dinner.”

“Hm… We have to prepare something, then.”

“Remember what I said. I am no housewife.”

Hisoka chuckled and finished his breakfast.

“Will you help me, though?”

The assassin stole one of Hisoka’s choquettes and munched it happily.

“Most definitely not.”



A pleasant smell permeated the apartment.

While both of them knew to cook and to bake, there were differences: While Illumi’s pastries were to die for, his cooking was, well, mediocre.

Hisoka on the other hand was better at cooking: he knew almost every cookbook by heart; his cupcakes were… edible(s).

They complemented each other perfectly, as cheesy as it sounds, it was true.

Attracted by the extraordinary smell like insects by light when darkness comes around, Illumi came into the kitchen.

“What are you cooking?”, he asked and hugged the magician from behind.

“Boeuf Bourguignon.” Hisoka stirred in the pot.

“Uhm, bless you?”

Hisoka chuckled: “It's a french dish that has to be prepared a day before.”

“Hm. Smells good.”

“I know”, Hisoka smirked and turned around to kiss Illumi.

The taste of herbs lingered on both their lips.

A frizzling noise interrupted them.

“Your boefburgerwhatever is burning.”

“No shit, Sherlock!” Hisoka grumbled and turned around again to save his food.

Illumi let out a rare, astonishing laugh.

“Fuck off, Watson.” He looked at Hisoka questioningly. “Was that the right answer?”

“Perfect, babe.”

Chapter Text


‘Awkward silence’, Illumi thought.

They sat at dinner, Hisoka, Killua, Gon, Alluka and him.

After the obligatory but polite ‘Thank you for inviting us’ and ‘The food tastes great’ from Gon and Alluka and many angry glares from Killua, an awkward silence had rosen upon the dining table.

The food really was delicious but no one could enjoy it properly. What a shame.

The silence laid like a fog over them, suffocating them.

Illumi cleared his throat.

He had to say something, anything, the silence felt more threatening than any enemy he had fought until now.

“Alluka, little brother-”

“She’s your sister”, Killua snapped.

“Mother did not birth any girls, Kill, he is my brother.”

“She is our sister, GET THAT IN YOUR STUPID HEAD!”


While Illumi and Killua continued yelling at each other across the table, Alluka had begun to sob quietly, covering her face with her soft hands.

“Onii-san, tell Illumi the truth”, she cried.

Gon, who had watched silently till now, rubbed her back and tried to comfort her, alongside (to everyone’s surprise), Hisoka.

It was a mess.

Killua's aura sparkled like lightning, Illumi had already produced needles from where-ever-he-kept-them - they were on the verge of killing each other.


The sound of a whole card deck crashing right into the wall interrupted the dispute.

Hisoka’s voice trembled just a little as he spoke.

“As much as I would enjoy seeing you two fighting, I have to intervene here. There will be no killing in this apartment. Not on my watch.”

“I won’t discuss this further, Kill.” Illumi left the room, rushing to the balcony.

He needed to calm down.


Killua calmed down slowly, hugging Alluka and speaking comfortingly to her.

Gon sat next to the siblings and continued eating, fully enjoying his meal this time.

“This stew is good, Hisoka!”

“Thanks- thanks, Gon”, Hisoka chuckled and stood up.

“I’m going to check on Illumi.”

He thought he heard a little “traitor” from Killua but when he looked at him, Killua had his face buried into Alluka’s shoulder.


“Babe”, Hisoka closed the sliding door and sat down on the railing, “I love you, you know? But, you see, Alluka is your sister and you have to stop your transphobic bullshit. You hurt her.”

“Him”, Illumi hissed. “I don’t care. He was born a boy and he will always be one! You can’t just change your gender!”

Hisoka had enough.

“You were born a child, are you still a child?”

“That’s something completely different!”

“It is not”, Hisoka said determinedly. “Respect your sister’s pronouns and how she identifies or I will not hesitate to leave you.”

He went back inside, leaving Illumi in shock.

‘Would he really leave me for my sister?’, Illumi thought, not being able to shake off this resolute look in Hisoka’s eyes.

‘He means it”, he realized, in a short moment of panic. ‘He’s not lying. He will leave me-’

At that thought, hot shivers ran down his spine.

‘Did I just think of Alluka… as my sister?’

Chapter Text

“I can’t decide whether you should live or die... “, Illumi hummed and sorted out the file he was working on.

“Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven, please don’t hang your head and cry, no wonder why-”

He stopped in his tracks.

Cold, menacing shivers ran down his spine.

Since when did he sing?

Even more important: Since when did he sing out loud?

“That damn Hisoka”, he growled.

The magician had sung this song last week, over and over again, and now, it was stuck in Illumi’s head, too.

What should he do? Something like that has never happened to him before.

And the worst: He didn’t even know the name.

‘What a nuisance.’


“Hisoka?”, Illumi spoke into his headset.

“Yes, darling?”

“Where are you?”

“You seem distressed, did something happen?” Hisoka’s voice was dominated by a worried undertone.

“What’s that song called you sang last week?”

“Hm~ someone’s having it stuck in his head?” His voice instantly changed to a sing-song-ish tone.

Illumi blushed.

“No. I was just curious-”

“Babe, you don’t have to be so shy~ It’s called I Can’t Decide by the Scissor Sisters. The CD should be in the drawer right next to the TV. I’m coming home now anyway, I’ll find it for you then. See you soon.”

Illumi didn’t answer.


When Hisoka came home, Illumi had been blasting the same song over and over for almost 20 minutes.

Wrapped in at least three warm blankets and drinking wine, he sat on the couch.

“I see you found the CD already”, Hisoka smirked and took away Illumi’s glass of red wine to drink it himself.

“Hm. It was in the player where you left it”, Illumi responded, shooting an angry look to him that didn’t quite fit what he said, and stretched out his hand, quietly demanding his wine back.

“I’m taking a shower now. And you should probably reduce the volume if you don’t want trouble with neighbours”, Hisoka chuckled.

“I already had. Killed them.”


“Well, unlike others”, Illumi pointed at the CD player, “I could decide whether they should live or die.”

Chapter Text

His fiery gaze burned a hole into Illumi’s back.

Well, at least it felt like it.

It wasn’t exactly unpleasant, just a little…

‘Weird’, Illumi thought.

“Hisoka!”, he barked and turned to face his lover.

“Hm~?”, Hisoka, who sat on the couch, pursued watching Illumi.

“Stop staring.”

“How could I when someone as beautiful as you stood right in front of me?”

Illumi sighed and turned around again, proceeding to water his beloved houseplants.

The succulents were flourishing which delighted him to no end, but his Spathiphyllum worried him to no end.

She was an easy-to-keep houseplant which needed a lot of water but hardly any care, and that’s what concerned him: The peace lily just didn’t want to thrive like he wanted her to.

“Stop staring, Hisoka”, Illumi repeated himself, “and help me with Lily. She’s not feeling well but I don’t know why.”

Hisoka stood up and hugged Illumi from behind, resting his head on the assassins right shoulder and looking at the plant.

“I guess she needs more light. The missing natural light is what’s making her feel unwell. Also, you should make name tags for your plants, I still can’t differentiate between Lily and Phil. They basically look the same!”

“They do not!”

“They do and if you want me to water them healthily you should most definitely tag them.”

“Alright, will do... Thanks babe”, Illumi said and kissed Hisoka on the cheek, just below the tear that was pink today.

“Your makeup fits Gill.”

Gill was a pink Phalaenopsis Orchid, a very pretty plant that Hisoka gifted Illumi as a welcome present when they moved in together.

Hisoka chuckled and returned to his original seat to continue watching his lover.

Illumi tried to hide his red cheeks and caressed the leaves of one of his succulents.

Chapter Text

“Hisoka”, Illumi whispered into the dark.

Hisoka groaned.

“Let me go, I have to leave soon.”

Illumi tried to free himself from his lover’s strong arms he was captured in.

He had no success.

“Seriously, let me go!”

Hisoka just hugged him tighter, nuzzling his nose into the warm flesh of Illumi’s neck.

“Just half an hour more. Please.”

Illumi sighed.

“Fine. Half an hour and you will let me leave.”


He opened the midnight blue curtains swiftly, letting balmy rays of sunshine caress his cheeks.

Illumi stayed there for a moment, bathed in golden sunlight.

It felt like the motherly touch he never got to experience. Like he was hugged, cherished, loved.

It felt like time had stopped.

He had to pull himself together, physically pulling on his hair to regain consciousness.

Trying to ignore the feeling that crawled up his spine, he turned around.

He contemplated whether or not he would benefit from waking up Hisoka.

As much as he loved him, Hisoka was clinging and would end up hindering him from working.

He would benefit from this, though - if Hisoka woke up fast, he would make Illumi his favourite breakfast and they would spend their morning together.

“Hisoka”, Illumi spoke as softly as he could and stroked Hisoka’s hair, then his cheek.

“Kitten. How dare you escape my arms so easily?”, Hisoka asked playfully, his voice gravelly from sleeping.


Hisoka groaned.

“Right. I’ll get up in a second, m’kay?”

“You can stay in bed, if you want to. I don’t mind”, Illumi said and left the room to take a shower.

When he entered the kitchen, his hair still damp, Hisoka stood in front of the stove and made pancakes.

Illumi placed a kiss on his lover’s lips and sat down to eat.

“I’m not sure how long this mission will take. I plan on coming back this evening but it requires a lot of sitting around and following the mark.”

“But- then I’m all by myself!”, Hisoka said in a sing-song, playfully pouted but not actually meaning it.

“If you’re lonely, you can follow later-”, Illumi said without thinking.

Hisoka looked like a little puppy, happiness glowing in his golden eyes.

“Wait no. I should have phrased that differently. If I call you, you can follow.”

Not even this could ban the smile on Hisoka’s face.


“Didn’t you forget anything?” Hisoka stood in the hallway, leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom and smirked.

Illumi checked his gear and wondered because he thought he had everything.

His pins were where he always kept them, his phone, his wallet...

Then he saw Hisoka’s smirk and blushed - did he want a kiss?

He walked up to the magician, looked him in the pretty eyes and kissed him shyly on the cheek.

For a brief moment, he thought he’d seen Hisoka turning red but that probably was an illusion.

Hisoka opened his hand to reveal Illumis keys.

“I-” He cleared his throat, more flustered than he ever was, “I meant this, but thanks.”

Illumi blushed, eyes widened, and stumbled outside.

Chapter Text

Hisoka opened the door to their apartment.

“Fuck, what was that?”, he muttered.

“I think that’s what they call a ‘fucked up’ evening. Failed, maybe?” Illumi pulled the hair pins from his hair and let it flow over his back.

He hummed at the pleasure of opening the braid.

They had just finished the mission - well, Illumi had, Hisoka just picked him up - when they were surprised by a back-stabbing attack.

“These kids today really don’t have any respect”, Illumi sighed.

“I need a cigarette.” Hisoka was fumbling in his pocket, desperately searching for his cigarettes and a lighter.

“Do you mind company?”

Illumi knew that Hisoka needed his space sometimes and he respected that.

“If it’s you, I don’t mind.” He tried to smile but it wasn’t genuine.

Illumi opened the sliding door and smiled a rare, comforting smile...

...that was immediately crushed by the temperature outside.

It was freezing. Hell, it was snowing, of course it was cold!

Hisoka clicked his lighter, once, twice, thrice, then he gave up and groaned.

“It’s out of gas. I swear it was full when I left the house yesterday-”

“You’re smoking too much”, Illumi said, earning himself a grumbled “Shut up”.

Without missing a bit, he pulled out a lighter from his pants’ pocket and lit the cigarette that hung from Hisoka’s lips.

“Why-”, Hisoka began to ask but his voice trailed off.


Hisoka cleared his throat. “Why do you have a lighter in your pants’ pocket? You don’t smoke, do you, kitten?”

Illumi blushed.

“I do not.”
A silent second passed while Illumi tried to find the right words.

“You smoke and I thought that someday this will happen”, he gestured to Hisoka’s lips.

“So, I figured it would be appropriate to carry a lighter”, the assassin tried to explain and looked away, embarrassed by his own actions.

The exhausted look in Hisoka’s eyes subsided. He smiled, genuinely this time.

“Thank you, kitten.”

And Illumi knew this wasn’t only about the lighter.

Chapter Text

Hisoka was out.

And Illumi enjoyed it.

A lot.

Probably more than he should, but it didn't occur often that Illumi was home alone.

'Home', he thought.

When did he stop calling the Zoldyck mansion his home?

When did he start to call their shared apartment his 'home'?

He couldn't remember.

Illumi stood on the balcony, watching the sunrise.

Naturally, Ilumi had made himself a nice cup of his favourite coffee and enjoyed not being forced to eat breakfast by the pestering magician.

Hisoka had left in the middle of the night, only leaving a little note on their fridge: 'Good morning, beautiful. Looking gorgeous again... I'm heading to Chrollo's again. I will return this evening. Have a nice day without me >_<. H.'

As much as he enjoyed being alone, not being disturbed by a certain clown, Illumi felt jealousy.

He was jealous; and he feared Chrollo.

He feared that one day, the thief could steal away Hisoka’s heart.

The heart that in this moment belonged to Illumi and to Illumi only.

But just like his moods, the heart of the magician was indecisive, flighty, always seeking more, greater entertainment.

Just how long could Illumi grant the needs?

When would he become a burden? A bore? Irrelevant?

Being trained to do so, he pushed these thoughts into the back of his head and finished his cup of coffee.

He strolled through their apartment, thinking about how he could make the best use of his day without being bothered by Hisoka.

He could ask his father for missions…

Illumi let out a small snicker.

Did he actually consider this right now?

Did he want to spend his free day with a mission, with killing insignificant people?

'No', he thought.

He wanted to spend his free time like normal people would do, except that he was everything but normal.


"What do normal people do on their free days?", he murmured to himself.

Illumi sighed and went back to the kitchen.

As he stood in front of the fridge, reading the note Hisokas again and again, admiring his elegant handwriting, his gaze hit the calendar hanging from a drawer above the sink.

Friday, the 18th december.


The 18th december already?!

An unfamiliar, cold shiver ran down his spine.

Hisoka and him had moved in together over two weeks ago…

Time really flew.

And he hadn't bought any gifts yet.

He sighed again: He knew now what he was doing on this free day.


Illumi's mission for today: Buy gifts for everyone.

He had already bought gifts for Killua and Alluka, which wasn't especially hard.

For Alluka, he went to the ‘girl’s’ section, the first time in his life, and he was proud he was making progress.

He even bought a gift for that brat Gon, only because he knew Killua would be mad if he didn't though.

Illumi really had gotten soft, spending his time with Hisoka.

‘Oh no', Illumi thought.

The second time this day, an irritating, unpleasant shiver rolled down his spine.


What would the magician like as a gift?

He didn't even plan on celebrating Christmas, only the thought of being with Illumi had convinced him.

Illumi sighed and looked at his phone, where his checked off shopping list showed his accomplishments.

He deleted every article on it and tipped.

Now, the only thing the list read was:

Buying gifts for Hisoka turned out to be rather difficult; the magician had everything he needed and could buy everything he wanted except one thing: a worthy opponent willing to fight him.
And never in his life would Illumi consent to a fight, knowing it would certainly bring dissatisfaction.
So he had to think of something different.
Excessive amounts of expensive alcohol had always been one of Hisoka's hobbies and Illumi often enjoyed drinking with him but acquiring it was always the magician's job.
The other hobby was his fancy way of dressing: Every outfit was personally designed and factured by a small tailoring company in York Shin which worked only for Hisoka after getting a very generous offer and only maybe a threat.
Buying clothes for him was no option.
Illumi left the plaza he had bought the last gifts at and walked into the alleys of York Shin City.
He hated this part of the town: It was dirty, the crime rate was higher than the junkies laying around and luxury was nowhere to be found.
But his scavenge required research and he couldn't think of a better place to start his journey at than at the lowest possible.
After two hours, he had enough.
His search for a proper gift turned out to be the hardest mission since he was 10.
Illumi had reached a more extravagant district of York Shin and sighed in contentment.
He breathed in the fresh air of life in luxury, smelling expensive clothing, good champagne and occasionally the slightest whiff of a good perfume coming from the few boutiques.
But none of this mattered at the moment.
Right now, the only thing that mattered was that Illumi was close to murdering someone for the sheer sake of releasing this pent up, well, murdery feeling.
'I need a break', he decided and went into a competent looking café to get coffee.
Normally, he wouldn't trust anyone else with the making of his precious coffee but paranormal circumstances called for drastic measures.
Finally holding his drink in his hands, his head being in a grey cloud and his en pulsating unfamiliarly, he strolled down the street.
The pedestrians, out of fear, avoided him and eyed him with questioning looks from afar but Illumi simply ignored them and eventually, they turned their heads away.
He didn't notice the small woman until it was too late and with a loud crash, they bumped into each other.
“Illumi?“, she asked.
It was Machi.
“Machi?“, Illumi looked at her in disbelief, not buying that she was still alive.
He had thought she had died already.
She just gawked at him, probably feeling the same; Illumi didn't know, and he actually did not care. He had more important things to wrap his head around.
They just stared at each other until Machi turned away, shot him a last glare and walked her way; leaving Illumi with a now fully awake mind.
A second passed.
Then, Illumi followed her and grabbed her wrist.
“Machi, you have to help me.“
She raised an eyebrow: “You? You need my help? How did I deserve your trust?“
He explained.
Not missing a beat, Machi snorted and her perplexe face showed her true emotions for once: “Let me get this straight. You moved in with him and now you're searching a christmas gift for this clown? No wait, what's much more interesting: You feel feelings? I didn't think that's possible, to be honest.“
She laughed.
“The famous assassin Illumi Zoldyck, oldest son and almost-heir of the Zoldyck family, and Hisoka Morow, the greatest and worst clown to exist on this earth, in a relationship. I can't believe it. How's the sex?“
She didn't let Illumi answer and rolled her eyes.
“Nevermind, I don't want to know.“
Now it was the assassins turn to roll his eyes. Why bother to ask a question she didn't want to have answered?
At second thought though, Illumi was glad not having to answer.
Machi looked amused: “Alright, how can I help?“
“Help me find a christmas gift for Hisoka. You will be rewarded, of course.“
She thought about it for a second.
“I want to kill him, though.”
“Of course. But you should forget about that as soon as possible, you would lose.”
“Just the opportunity to hurt him would be enough for me.”
“I see. But that has nothing to do with my request. Furthermore, everything you would do right now loses in terms of rewards to this.“
She finally agreed.
They walked down the street together, exchanging only a few sentences whenever they believed they found something and grunts when it wasn't right.
Secretly, Illumi was glad he had help, especially from someone with so much experience in style.
Machi sighed as they had reached the end of the street and saw that it was a dead end.
“I hope you are aware of the fact that we'll never find something fitting for someone as eccentric as Hisoka Morow“, she said as she lit a cigarette with a pink Hello Kitty lighter she had stolen from a little kid – why would a kid need a lighter anyway?
And that was the moment Illumi had an enlightenment (hehehe).
He had the perfect idea.
The perfect gift.
A lighter, personalized, of course, so the magician didn't have to rely on Illumi whenever he smoked.
“Machi, I will say this only once, please forget it right away, but thank you. I know now. I will leave now, please text me your expectation of the reward.“
„I will take you by your word, Illumi Zoldyck!“ and with these words, Machi disappeared in the crowd.


Finally having an idea for a gift, Illumi thought it would be easier to find an appropriate item.

He was mistaken.

The cheaper lighters he inspected were no match (hehehe) and even the expensive ones were ugly and just not quite right.

Illumi’s initial exhilaration vanished.

His uncharacteristic gloomy feeling got interrupted by his phone ringing.

It was Silva.


“You have to buy something. Meeting 11 pm, same location as last time.”

“I will be there.”

An awkward pause arose.

“Where did you get your Zippo from?”, Illumi stuttered rapidly.


“Where did you get your Zippo from, Sir?”

“Your mother took it with her from a job and I kept it since due to its practicality.”

A frown adorned Illumi’s pretty face.

“Is it for that clown?”, Silva asked and his usually dispassionate voice now expressed disgust and disconnection from his eldest son.

Illumi simply hung up.

He wasn’t any smarter than before.

“Fuck it, I’m returning home. I won’t find anything anyway”, he mumbled to himself and made his way home.


He found a fitting lighter on his way home.

It was a mere coincidence: He just wanted to buy something in a hunting store, requested by his father.

As he went to pay, his gaze fell onto this lighter…

He fell in love instantly.

It was a military tactical Zippo, gradient between a pale teal and a light pink-ish purple with silver accents.

Short: It was great.

He bought it instantly and left the shop, returning home.

Still, Illumi wasn’t entirely satisfied , something was still missing; even though he couldn’t exactly specify what it was.

It felt so… impersonal.

Like he didn’t just spend his whole day searching for it. Like he just bought it because he felt compelled to do so and not because he wanted to.

A ‘ping!’ disturbed his train of thoughts: It was Hisoka.

‘Good evening love, I will arrive home in 20 minutes. Are you there? I may need medical treatment, nothing grave though :). H.’

Illumi blushed - since when did he do that? - but suddenly had found what he could do to personalize the lighter.

Chapter Text

“Hisoka, are you ready?”

“Yes, wait a second!” Hisoka stumbled over the various clothes that laid around (he had pulled them out of the closet to find that exact costume he was wearing now, a black croptop with hearts and a spades and a green undershirt) and ran his fingers through his hair.

With the help of Bungee Gum, he tossed his clothes back into the closet.

“Hisoka?”, Illumi called again.

“I’m coming!” He grabbed his ice skates and his wallet and off they went.

The people on the streets were staring at them blatantly and while Hisoka enjoyed the attention, Illumi was too busy blushing.

He doubted that he was the reason for the attention they were receiving, but this was the case. He really had outdone himself on his outfit:

Illumi wore his favourite purple sweater that complimented Hisoka’s hair so well, his hair in a messy bun (that took over 30 attempts to actually get this pretty-messy) and a pastel pink scarf around his neck.

In his opinion, he was way too overdressed for their date but when he told Hisoka, he just laughed and kissed him.

They were on their way to the local ice rink. Hisoka had rented it for this special occasion (that guy had too much money in Illumi’s opinion - he didn’t mind, though) because he really wanted to take Illumi on a date and show him all the skills he had learned over the years.

When they arrived, it was dark outside already.

Hisoka quickly figured out how to turn on the lights and connected his phone to the speakers.

Excitedly, they entered the rink and began warming up.

Hisoka was, well, gracefully mediocre. He wasn’t bad at it, it was just that he looked a little bit like…

“A penguin”, Illumi stated out loud.

“What?”, Hisoka asked perplexedly.

“You look like a penguin!” Illumi let out a small laugh.

“I do not!”

“You do!”

“Illumi, I swear-”, HIsoka swiftly skated in the direction of his lover, looking somewhat between seriously angry and mildly amused.
Illumi knew he had to flee as soon as possible or he wouldn’t survive the next five minutes.

Still laughing, he skated away and already produced three needles, just in case.

Without him noticing, the hair tie holding his bun together loosened and his beautiful black hair unraveled.

Hisoka stopped in his tracks. He was stunned.

Sure, Illumi was an indescribably beautiful person that turned heads of all genders, but this was something different.

How he skated so elegantly, chuckling, his cheeks reddened from the cold, his hair flowing like wings, he looked like an angel.

The magician couldn’t move. He had to stare. He had to see everything, he couldn’t miss seeing anything of this beauty for his life.

“Illumi”, he breathed.


“You are so beautiful”

He was so stunned, he didn’t notice the needles until it was too late.

“I know”, Illumi winked, “that’s my most important weapon. Never noticed?”

And just like that, he skated away and left the speechless Hisoka laying where he was.

Chapter Text

It had been a nice, chill evening. They had spent their time in their apartment, mainly on the couch.

Illumi had watched ‘Hannibal’ and Hisoka had watched Illumi, since he was mildly interested in Hannibal eating people, but very much more interested in his boyfriend.

The entire day, Hisoka had been talking about the amazing restaurant that he was going to take Illumi to later that night.

Illumi actually didn’t want to leave the comfort and warmth of their home, but Hisoka sounded so excited to be able to go to the ‘Kokana’ that he decided it would be worth it.

Well, whatever controlled the likes of a certain magician must have had a bad day, since the minute Illumi had made his decision, dark clouds appeared out of nowhere and it began to rain. A lot.

Illumi didn’t mind it that much, but Hisoka looked devastated. He looked devastated when he had to cancel their reservation and wouldn't even cheer up when Illumi suggested that they could go on an online shopping trip, even though he usually loved doing that.

“Well, we can’t sit around moping without at least having some kind of dinner. Why don’t we just order really, really cheesy pizza and just slouch for today? We can go to the Kokana next year,” Illumi said, getting his phone out and kissing Hisoka on the head.

Illumi ordered two four-cheese pizzas and started the next episode of Hannibal.

About halfway into the episode, their slouching was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Illumi looked at Hisoka, knowing that answering the door would be a nice thing for him to do, but, at the same time, not wanting to. At the sight of the still gloomy Hisoka, he reluctantly got up and opened the door.

The very tiny person who stood in the doorframe when Illumi opened was entirely soaked.

Their turquoise hair stuck to their face, their clothes were drenched and they left wet stains on the carpet.

“Hi! Uhm, I’m sorry for the delay, the rain, y’know?” They grinned.

Illumi frowned. “You’re here at least. How much is it?”

Hisoka stood up and came to assist Illumi with the awkward interaction.

“Darling, be a little nicer, will you?” He turned to the delivery person. “Please excuse his rudeness. Do you want to come in and dry your clothes?”

“That’d be nice, thank you”, they said and took small, hesitant steps into the apartment.


Five minutes into their conversation, Hisoka already had taken a liking to the person who had introduced themselves as Hickory.

Illumi hadn’t.

He found them annoying and rude.

‘How dare they interrupt our quality time?’, he thought furiously.

They sat in their kitchen and talked about music and the superior brand of hair dye while Illumi stood on the balcony and threw handfuls of needles on passer-by’s.

Being as infuriated as he was, he missed many of them.

When he returned to the kitchen to finally eat his pizza, Hickory and Hisoka had just agreed on meeting again.

Illumi sighed.

Finally, Hickory said goodbye and left to do more deliveries and Illumi and Hisoka made their way to the couch to eat and continue watching ‘Hannibal’.

“Hisoka, what exactly did you both agree on?”

“I wanted to show them how to make a proper cheesecake”, was what he wanted to say, but he was interrupted by a small “quack”.

“What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know-”

“Quack quack.”

Waddling into the room came a small baby duck, agitatedly (or at least as agitatedly as possible for a baby duck) exclaiming more quacks.

“Hisoka”, Illumi sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, “what on earth is a baby duck doing in our apartment?”

“Well, I-”, Hisoka stuttered, “I certainly believe it is Hickory’s.”

“Care to explain why the fuck Hickory would leave a baby duck in our apartment?”

“I don’t know but they said something about loving ducks and penguins and I know you clearly don’t.”

“We have to return it to Hickory as soon as possible”, Illumi said and watched the duck make its way to the couches.

“Obviously. I’m calling them.”

“You exchanged numbers?”, he asked, panicking internally.

They met minutes ago and already exchanged their phone numbers? Was he going to be replaced by someone Hisoka didn’t even know?

“Illumi, darling. Don’t panic. Baby, we moved in together a month ago, why would I leave you? Why would I ever leave you?”

Illumi exhaled slowly and nodded.

“Right. Call them and tell them we won’t care if their duck dies-”


“Okay okay, call them. And tell them to bring more pizza, your long-ass conversation made it cool down.”

“Alright. Be a little nice, you don’t know what they’re going through.”

“As if you do”, Illumi mumbled under his breath.

Hisoka casually ignored him and finally called Hickory.

Chapter Text

Hisoka and Illumi were out doing grocery shopping.

Because the store would be closed during the holidays, their list of what to buy was very long and Hisoka was already annoyed.

“We should have just gotten it delivered to our apartment”, he frowned and let his head fall on Illumi’s shoulder.

Illumi, who most definitely was not into pda, shoved him away.

“I do the most of the work here, stop complaining. Go get some sweets and then we should be done.”

As Hisoka retreated, Illumi smiled. He felt a bit like a mother, but in a good way.

They finished their purchase and walked home, Hisoka carrying their stuff with the aid of Bungee Gum. It was too early for other people than pensioners to be on the streets so nobody wondered about the two fairly weird folks wandering around.

The sky was grey and it looked like it would begin to rain any second.

“Let’s hurry up”, Hisoka said with a worried look at the sky.

Back in their apartment, they quickly stowed away the food and made their way to the couch to cuddle.

Not even two minutes into an episode of ‘Hannibal’, Illumi moved to face Hisoka whom he laid on.

“Let’s go on a walk.”

Hisoka chuckled.

“We just came back and it’s freezing outside, why would we do that?”

“Not now, I mean. Later”, he said and laid back down.

“Of course”, Hisoka said and kissed him on the forehead.


It was getting late and with every passing minute, Illumi worried his lover might have had forgotten their plan.

After they had watched about 20 episodes of ‘Hannibal’ (or at least it had felt like it), they had some snacks and Hisoka went to sleep.

‘Like an old man’, Illumi thought.

He had been sitting on the couch, listening to music and reading his favourite poems.

Now though, he stood in front of their bed and thought of ways to wake up his lover.

“Hisokaaaaa~”, he whined and pulled on the blanket wrapped around the magician.

“Wake up.”

“Oi! Wake up!”, he pouted.

Finally, Hisoka opened one eye and watched as Illumi tried to steal his blanket.

“I’m awake, I’m awake. Whaddya want?”, he asked, his voice sleepy and raspy.

“Let’s go on a walk.”


They took the path through the nearest woods that led around two lakes, one small, the other a bit wider.

A light fog rose as they wandered in the direction of the smaller lake.

“Did you know that there’s a myth that this place is actually haunted?”

“What? How can a lake be haunted?”

Illumi sighed. “I don’t know everything but apparently, there once was a mother with two children living here-”

“Ah right, the two children, of course. You got scammed, that’s how all of the stories begin.”

“Do you want to hear the story or not, Hisoka?”

“I do”, Hisoka grinned.

“Then don’t interrupt me! So, as I said, a mother with two children, they were really poor. The mother’s birth name was Curie, I think she was related to Mary Curie; the children were named Jokirelate and Satys-Vacction. They lived in this area in the woods in a little cabin with some animals. A bunny and a cat, if I remember correctly. The cat is going to be important later.
One day, a rich man got lost on a walk. His name was James O’Sitty. The mother found him and quickly, they fell in love and married. James and the mother chose a double-barrelled name-”

“I’m sorry for interrupting again but when does the haunted stuff come?”, Hisoka asked and dodged a tree branch that hung from a bush.

“It does now, trust me! That was the background, now it begins”, Illumi said and smacked Hisoka’s head.

“Be a little patient! Alright. The children went to school one day as always but on their way back home, they got seperated. Jokirelate wanted to catch a butterfly so bad he went too deep into the woods.
When Satys-Vacction arrived at her home, she saw their bunny outside of their cabin. It hung dead from a tree. She ran inside and immediately saw what happened: Their mother had killed James and the bunny in a tantrum and when Satys-Vacction arrived, she was about to kill the cat, too.
Satys-Vacction tried to stop her mother but failed and saw her mother kill their beloved cat. It is told, though, that Satys-Vacction had healing powers and so she stole the cat, healed it from its wounds. She barely survived herself, just by running away and searching for her brother. They found each other and maybe ran away, the granny that told me the story left that part pretty much out. Maybe they’re dead, if they existed in the first place. Anyway, the people in the town nearby heard of this and it was pretty big news because the family was known to be pretty happy and stuff. Their story was printed in many newspapers and do you know what the most famous headline was?”

“What was it?”

Illumi took a deep breath to create a dramatic pause.

“Curie-O’Sitty killed the cat but Satys-Vacction brought it back”, Illumi snorted and ran away.

Hisoka swore he would make sure Illumi would be punished for this.

Chapter Text

Illumi's day already started out terrible. He was woken up by an exceptionally cheerful Hisoka laying on top of him who gently kissed, then booped his nose.

“Rise and shine,” he chirped.

He then promptly rolled off of Illumi, stole his blanket and tossed it out of the bedroom. Illumi still refused to get up and glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand.

“Hisoka, what the hell? It's literally seven in the morning. Why are you up this early?” His raspy voice sounded very pleasant in Hisoka’s ears, but today, he wasn’t going to get distracted by this.

Instead of answering, Hisoka opened the window, letting the freezing December air fill their room. Not seeming to be bothered by the cold, he took a seat on the window shelf and started whistling I Can’t Decide yet again. This was the last string for Illumi.

“Okay, I give up! You win! Now what do you want, other than annoying me?”

Hisoka left his spot on the window shelf, walked towards Illumi and scooped him up. The assassin, still annoyed, just crossed his arms and waited for Hisoka to put him down again.

They made their way into the living room, where Hisoka sat Illumi on the couch.

"Don't move, I'll go get you a nice outfit for today," he instructed, wrapping Illumi in a fuzzy blanket. He left the startled Illumi burrito alone and rushed back into the bedroom.

When Hisoka came back, his arms full of clothes, Illumi had, in fact, not moved. He glared at the magician, who found it hard to determine if his dearest was playing angry with him or plotting his murder. Hesitantly, he approached Illumi and handed him the clothes.

Illumi inspected the outfit, then turned to Hisoka.

“These aren’t mine.”

“Oh, I know. I think you’d look great in them, though. Plus, we basically have the same body shape and taste, so why not at least try them on?”

Slowly doing as he was told, Illumi once again wondered what Hisoka was up to. He couldn’t think of a good reason for him to be up and eager to start the day this early in the morning. Before he came to a conclusion, Illumi was fully clothed, and Hisoka had been right: he looked astonishing. He wore a black turtleneck, a white crop top and deep purple slacks. Hisoka had even picked some of his extravagant jewelry for him to wear.

Hisoka scanned Illumi from head to toe and nodded.

“Illumi, dear, you look wonderful. You know what would be the icing on top of this very, very sweet cake? A braid. May I?”

Hisoka always made sure to ask for consent before touching Illumi’s hair; he had once said that braiding one’s hair was a more intimate act than sex, and while Hisoka personally not entirely agreed with this, respecting Illumi’s boundaries had always been his priority.

Illumi nodded and Hisoka, equipped with Illumi’s hairbrush (“No Hisoka, I can’t just use yours, it will break my hair!”), got to work. Not a minute later, Illumi’s long, thick hair was beautifully braided. Fixing the braid with a hair tie, Hisoka stood up and looked at Illumi.

“A piece of art, I’m telling you. But do you know what is made for? To be seen. Why don’t you go and take a walk and let the people of York New admire your beauty? You could get some coffee. I accidentally broke the machine-”

“You did what?!”

“I already ordered a new one, don’t worry. So, what do you say? Do coffee and some fresh air sound good?”

“Uhm, sure.”

Illumi went to get his coat and shoes, but when he noticed that Hisoka wasn’t following him, he stopped in his tracks and turned his head around.

“What are you waiting for?”

“Oh, I’m not coming with you. I have things to do. You go out and enjoy your coffee and some time to yourself, I should be done within an hour. I’ll text you when you can come back home.”

“Ah, now I even need permission to enter my own home? Great.”

Illumi rolled his eyes and left the house. Hisoka knew that he should have felt bad, but knowing the reason to kick Illumi out didn’t allow that. He went to the window to watch Illumi stroll down the street. Now he did feel a little bad, spying on him wasn’t something he should be doing, but it was of immense importance that Illumi didn’t eavesdrop. Admiring Illumi in the unusual clothes, Hisoka waited until he couldn’t see him anymore, then took out his phone. He dialled Chrollo’s number and impatiently tapped his foot while he waited for him to pick up.


“I need your advice. It’s about Illumi.”

“I’m busy, the chain user apparently is no woman but a very angry teenager who’s family I may have killed.”

“Ah, you met Kurapika again? Tell him to call his boyfriend back and he’ll go away, trust me, I did the same.”

Hisoka heard some indistinct murmuring at Chrollo’s end of the line and a door closing, and Chrollo finally picked up his phone again.

“Yeah, he left. What do you want? Do you still want to fight me?”

“Oh please, I have more important matters to take care of. Maybe next year, but let me make up my mind about that later. So, as I said, I’m dealing with an Illumi situation at the moment that I need some help with.”

“I will help you under one condition. You pay me for everything: For listening to your whining, for helping you, for everything. Plus, you have to help with our next coup.”

This was going to be hard for Hisoka, but he would have done everything for Illumi.

“Fine, it’s a deal.”

Hisoka took a deep breath before telling Chrollo what was going on.

“I want to ask Illumi to marry me.”

There was it. For the first time ever, he had said it.

Chrollo just snorted and giggled, which were rather rare sounds coming from him.

“Don’t you laugh at me! You agreed to help me, not to make fun of me.”

“I never said I wouldn’t. What does this have to do with me, though? Do you want me to propose to him for you?”

“Idiot,” Hisoka chuckled. He really should look out for some friends that were more on the supportive side. Until then, though, he had to stick with Chrollo’s assistance.

“I need a ring. But I live with Illumi. I can’t exactly get one when he’s around.”

“Well, that sucks”, Chrollo chuckled. “And you’re asking me to buy your ring?”

“No, that’s not what I want. I need you to buy me time. You’ll go to the address I’ll send to you in a second, meet up with Illumi and tell him Kalluto is dying.”

“That’s not exactly nice.”

“Think of your next coup.” Hisoka hesitated. “Please?”

“Okay. Go buy your ring.”

Hisoka thought for a minute. Where could Illumi be right now? His eyes wandered across the room, when he spotted the broken coffee machine and got an idea. He called Illumi, hoping that he wasn’t angry at him anymore.


Okay, he was. Hisoka was sure that his next words would cheer him up, though.

“I just placed you an order at the coffee shop next to that restaurant we went to the other day. Where are you right now?”

“At the plaza. I’ll need at least fifteen minutes to get there. Maybe twenty.”

“Oh, that’s alright, take your time. Tell them that Hisoka sent you. Oh, and no killing in that outfit, the tailor that sewed these slacks is dead and they’re my favorite. Okay darling, see you later!”

Without waiting for a response, Hisoka hung up and called the coffee shop to place the order for Illumi. After making sure they didn’t fuck it up (and only mildly threatening the poor employee), he texted Chrollo the address, put on his coat and left the apartment.

Hisoka already had a rough idea of the design for Illumi’s ring: it definitely had to be golden, otherwise Illumi probably wouldn’t even touch it. To make sure it wouldn’t resemble a wedding ring too much, Hisoka wanted to get one with a gem, though he hadn’t decided on the perfect stone yet. As he entered the jeweler, he was hit by a wave of luxury. Immediately, he felt underdressed, which was a very rare occasion. A lady in a white dress and with a smile just a little too happy approached him.

“Hello sir, can I help you?”

Hisoka hadn’t planned on social interaction at the store, but he figured that some consultation couldn’t do any harm.

“Hm~ I suppose you can. I’m looking for an engagement ring. Gold, preferably.”

The woman smiled, nodded and led Hisoka to a display case.

“These are our most popular engagement rings. Most customers are very happy with them.”

Hisoka scanned over the rows upon rows of rings, but he couldn’t find one that seemed to fit Illumi.

“See, I was looking for something with a pop of color, you know? I was thinking about blue, or maybe a shade of green.”

The employee looked a little startled, but started to waddle towards a different showcase.

“Uhm, yes, of course. It’s just, most women expect a diamond ring for their engagement. It’s more traditional.”

Hisoka chuckled.

“Oh, I think he’ll be doing just fine without a diamond.”

The woman stopped in her tracks and blinked twice, before she gained back her composure. She still looked a little uncomfortable, but Hisoka decided to ignore that.

“I made up my mind. I want a ring with a jade gem. It’ll suit his work clothes.” This time, Hisoka only slightly emphasized that Illumi was a man.

“Jade. Yes. Let me see what I can do for you.”

She went to a row of shelves in the back of the store, leaving Hisoka to himself.

‘I’m actually doing this’, he thought, shaking his head. ‘I’m proposing to Illumi Zoldyck.’

Chapter Text

“I- I can’t do this anymore! Everything you do is go around and be out all night, when you come back you’re covered in blood and you reek of alcohol! I don’t care that you are rich and buy me stuff, I don’t need your stupid excuses, I can’t hear them anymore! Stop being such an asshole and stop smiling when we are in a fight! You’re a psycho and a loser! Look, can’t you be sad, just once in your fucking life?! At least when I am literally on the brim of breaking up with you? Why are you laughing, even now?! Can’t you shut up once in your stupid, meaningless life?!”

“Oh, now my life is meaningless? What about your life?! Who was it who gave your life a meaning, hm? Who was the one to free you from your family?”

“Did I ask to never see them again? Was I the one who ruined my relationship with them? Yeah, I said I’d need a break from spending time with them but that’s normal! I never wanted us to part forever!”

“You better stop being an ungrateful brat! I’m spoiling you to no end, do you know how much money I have spent on you already since we started dating? Don’t tell me you dislike it, because I will stop!”

“Good, because we are not a couple anymore!”

“How are you breaking up with me after all I’ve done for you?!”

“You didn’t do anything for me, you did these things to me!”

“I didn’t do anything to you but fine! I don’t need you!”

“Good! But I will keep the cat!”

Illumi laughed so hard he cried little tears.

“Hisoka, you missed the best part! The girlfriend wants to keep the cat but she has no clue the vampire already killed it out of hunger!”

They were watching old black-and-white vampire movies, snuggled into warm, fuzzy blankets and excessively drinking mulled wine. It was almost Christmas after all.

Hisoka just had left the living room to get guacamole and chips, thinking he wouldn’t miss anything.

‘Well, he was wrong about that!’, Illumi thought and giggled, his nose red from drinking.

“Like Rudolph the red nosed reindeer!”, he babbled and giggled.

Maybe he had to stop drinking. This behaviour wasn’t like him. Not that alcohol would affect him that much - his father had taken good care of his poisoning training - but the floor swayed a little when he tried to stand up.

After a few little, shaky steps, he fell and hit his head on the coffee table.

“Ouch~”, he cried, then giggled, held his head and whined more.

“Hisoka, help me~”

Hisoka came into the living room, holding a bowl in each hand and immediately recognized what happened.

He wheezed.

“Illu-”, his laugh interrupted him. “You look like a stranded turtle!”

He put down the bowls to hold his stomach that hurt from laughing.

“Stop laughing and help me stand up!” Illumi demanded, not very credible due to him still giggling.

“I think- I think we have to stop drinking!”

Illumi snorted. “Most definitely.”

Chapter Text

“Where did you put the vegetables we bought?”

“Ah, do you wanna cook already?”

“Yeah, I was thinking we’d start eating at six so we can unwrap our gifts at nine?”

“Sounds good. They are on the balcony, next to the firewood”, Illumi said, closed his book and laid his glasses on the side table.

He shivered when Hisoka slid open the door to the balcony. The temperature had dropped again over the few days and of all things a snow storm occupied the city.

They had cancelled their original plans (meeting up with Gon, Killua and Alluka first, then spending time with the Phantom Troupe) and decided to spend their first Christmas together alone.

Hisoka wanted to cook something traditional but then decided against that because of how much work it would be. He made stew instead.

Illumi chose to bake apple pie. After drinking so much yesterday, he didn’t sleep very well and therefore was pretty hungover, which made preparing the dough not exactly easier.

He wanted it to be warm when they ate it so he didn’t bake it yet (and of course it wasn’t just because he wanted to go to bed again!).

Instead, he had put on the very ugly Christmas sweater that Kikyo had knitted for him and planned on forcing Hisoka into one as well. Funnily, she had manufactured one for him, too, and had asked Illumi to give it to him.

‘Does she know anything?’, Illumi asked himself as he unwrapped the sweater and a chill rolled over his spine. He decided to ignore it.

“Hisoka? Could you come here please?”

“Just a second!”, Hisoka yelled from the kitchen and appeared in the door frame not a second later. “What is- I am not wearing that.”

Illumi held up the admittedly awful Christmas sweater and grinned.

“Illumi, I love you and all but I am not wearing this- this thing!”

“Oh, you will”

“No, stop it!”, Hisoka produced two cards and threw them while retreating.

Illumi dodged them and went after his lover.

After a lot of chasing, Illumi won.


They sat around their dinner table, wearing their sweaters. The apartment was lit by about a thousand candles.

It was perfect.

“The stew is heavenly, dear.”

“Thank you, darling. I do have the feeling I outdid myself with this.”

They continued eating in comfortable silence and when they finished, they sat down on the couch and watched Home Alone.

Just as the burglars tried to get into the house, Hisoka turned to Illumi with a serious expression on his face.

“We have to watch Dinner For One!”

“That’s New Year's Eve, babe. It’s Christmas”; Illumi laughed.

“I’ll never get these mundane holidays right!”, Hisoka muttered and turned his face back to the TV.

“Babe, it’s okay! You never celebrated, why would you care now?”

Was he… was he blushing?

The magician hesitated but Illumi didn’t seem to give up investigating him soon.

“Because you care.”


“I need some fresh air. Mind coming with me onto the balcony?”, Illumi asked.

This was the moment.

“Yes, I’ll smoke if it doesn’t bother you.”

“Of course it doesn’t.”

Outside, the slowly falling snow embraced the landscape, the trees far below on the ground, the other buildings, the railing of the balcony.

The sparkling reflection of the lights of the buildings on the white blanket, the mysterious fog that spread from the near woods.
The view was breathtaking. For Illumi.

Hisoka's eyes lay on another beauty.

“Illumi”, Hisoka whispered, not being able to breathe properly.

The assassin turned around. “Hisoka? Are you alright?”

“Illumi. You are the best thing that happened to me in my whole life. You are what makes me happy, what keeps me going, you distract me from everything bad. You make me a better person. I know, that sounds weird, given the circumstances…” He chuckled, then his voice trailed off. “I was so glad when we moved in together. When we first met, I could have never imagined that something like this would happen and see where we are now: In our own apartment, together. God, Illumi, I love you so very much.”

He took out the black box in which the ring lay.

“Illumi, will you marry me?”

Illumi opened and closed his fists, looked away and breathed his answer so quietly, Hisoka didn’t quite catch what he said.

“What was that?”


Chapter Text

“Illumi, will you marry me?”

Illumi opened and closed his fists, looked away and breathed his answer so quietly, Hisoka didn’t quite catch what he said.

“What was that?”



“What?” Hisoka was dumbstruck.

“I don’t want to marry you”, Illumi said and took a step forward, towards Hisoka.

“I’ll take the ring, though.”

“I- I don’t understand-”

Illumi held out his hand for Hisoka.

“I don’t want to get married. It doesn’t have to do with you in any way, it’s just… My parents’ relationship got worse and abusive after they married. They once were in love, mother told me. But now- well, you know. Also, in fiction, marriage is often the peak of a relationship and- don’t get me wrong, our life is awesome, but I don’t want this to be the best. Because that would mean that it would just turn bad now.”

Hisoka took out the beautiful ring and put it on Illumi’s ring finger.

“Illumi, the love of my life, will you grow old with me, then?”

Illumi smiled and pulled Hisoka into a kiss.

“Yes, I will”, he breathed.

“I want to buy you a ring, too. Everybody should know we belong to each other.”

“I think they know”; Hisoka chuckled. “But I don’t mind. They had a matching one, let’s take a look at it after the holidays.”

Illumi kissed him on the cheek and nodded. “Now, let’s exchange gifts!”


“I had a hard time searching for this, so you better like it!”, Illumi jokingly said.

Hisoka unwrapped the lighter. Illumi had engraved H.M, Hisoka's initials, in it at the front, the H’s first stroke had a little curlicue which distantly resembled an I.

“Now you’ll always have a lighter with you.” Illumi smiled.

“Thank you, it is very pretty”; Hisoka admired the thoughtfulness of the gift, that Illumi had even remembered to make it weather-proof.

He kissed his lover on the cheek. “Thank you. Here’s your gift.”


The wrapping was sloppy but Illumi didn’t mind. The gift felt soft and didn't make any sound when he lightly shook it.

He unwrapped a plushie. Illumi laughed.

“Is that Killua? I love it!”

Hisoka laughed. “I saw it at Heaven's Arena when I moved out, as a souvenir to buy. I instantly thought of you.”

Illumi laughed and shook his head.

Hisoka shrugged his shoulders and smirked. “I thought of it as a joke, actually, but if you like it… Your real gift is something different though.”

“I- I get two gifts?”

“Of course, darling. You’ll always be spoiled by me!”

“So, where is it?”, Illumi asked excitedly.

Hisoka handed him two sheets of paper and grinned sheepishly.

“A trip to Mora Mora?”

“I thought you needed a break from work and your father and stuff… And, well, Mora Mora is known for its beautiful landscape and you are known for your beauty and I thought you two would fit.”

“I love it, thank you!”

Hisoka placed a sweet kiss on Illumi’s lips.

“Morow Christmas, Illumi”, Hisoka said and cackled.