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Let Me Care

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Byakuya can feel himself shake, but he can’t even bring himself to care at the moment. Hiro likes him. Actually likes him, even though he’s seen his arrogance and pride and rude tendencies. He’s never had someone like his existence before, especially once he started showing more parts of himself.

Sure, Toko and Syo both thought they liked him but Toko was just confused and craving attention. Syo just enjoyed men she found attractive. Byakuya hadn’t talked to many of the other alters in their system, but based on the fact they all had individual emotions he doubted they had any opinion on him. Besides a negative one, perhaps.

There were girls like Toko at his old schools, ones who would blush and repeatedly ask him on dates no matter how many times he said no. There were a few guys, too, but he never interacted with them because his father had always said that being-- No. His father didn’t matter right now. Hiro mattered.

“...Are you okay, Kuya?”

“Yes,” He finally speaks, finding it hard. It’s obviously because he’s so emotional, but still, it’s annoying. A Togami shouldn’t feel.His father had always told him that but...Hiro made him feel, unfortunately.

“C’mere,” Hiro pulls him onto his lap, feeling the other student tense but then continue holding onto Hiro as he had previously.

“You don’t have to hold me,”

“I want to, but why are you shaking? You do that a lot, ya know?”

“Just around you,” Byakuya half-grumbled, “It’s hard to explain,”

“I know I might be sorta dumb, but I’ll listen,”

“...My capacity for emotions is smaller than other people’s, so it takes smaller amounts of emotions to get a reaction out of me sometimes. Normally I can mask it by pretending to not care, but…”

“But what?”

“It’s harder with you, and especially when we’re touching because it makes the emotions stronger. I’m trying to repress it so it causes physical reactions at times,”

“That’s...complicated. But if hiding makes you freak out why don’t you just show how you feel?”

“No, that’s not happening,”

“No?”

Hiro can feel Byakuya shake his head and stop talking.

“I know it might take a while, but you can be yourself around me, Kuya,”

“You can, likewise,”

“I know that, but I don’t think you do,”

“I know the majority of things, Hiro, I’m quite intelligent,”

Normally Hiro would just laugh at that and move on, but that's probably what Byakuya was expecting. He was using it to try and deflect the situation away from himself.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t change the fact you’re still trying to be someone else sometimes,” Gently, Hiro pulls back a little bit so he can lift Byakuya’s face up.

“I’m not, Hiro,”

“Really? You’re always acting like you’re someone else and that nothing can hurt you, and I still like you when you’re acting all superior and stuff, but...How much of it is an act, Kuya?”

“That-- No, that doesn’t...Mean anything,” Byakuya fidgets with his glasses, pushing them up.

“You can trust me with yourself, I promise,”

“...You don’t have to do that, Hiro,”

“But I want to,”

“Why?” The question is so simple, but the fact he’s even asking is enough to make Hiro want to scream to the heavens. Because--

“You know how you wanted me to let you take care of me earlier, right?”

“...Yes,”

“Let me do that for you too, but...Emotionally. You’re perfect, but you can handle the smart stuff. I got the weird emotional stuff,”

“You want to…” Byakuya trails off.

“Well, I want to care for you any way you’ll let me. Physically or emotionally, I don’t really have a preference, I’ll stop rambling now--”

“You are aware you’re the only person I’d ever allow to touch me, yes?”

“I wasn’t but uh, thanks?”

Byakuya nodded, “You’re welcome.”

In Byakuya’s own, weird way, Hiro assumed that was his way of trying to tell Hiro he was comfortable with being touched by him.

“I’m guessing you don’t want to talk about how you mask your emotions right now?” Hiro asked.

“Ah, no, not really,”

“Well...Do you wanna talk about other emotions? Like us?”

“Us? Um...Well, when we are out of this hellhole, I would like to take you on a date if that’s acceptable,”

Hiro grinned at that, “I’d love to go on a date with you, but does that mean we’re together? I just want to confirm, gotta know your feeling,”

“...I’d like to be,”

“Nice. Nice, that’s awesome. That’s great,”

Byakuya nods in agreement.

“Hey-- Kuya, can I...Er, kiss you? You can say no! Or not right now--”

“No, no-- yes. You may. I just, I haven’t--”

“Oh. Oh, so I’d...Be your first. Alright, we don’t have to, then--”

“No. No, I want you to be,” Byakuya hesitates, “I hate to admit I don’t know things, but I’m unfamiliar with how to do...This,”

“It’s okay. It’s simple. Just let me take care of you,” Hiro grins, almost cockily, and Byakuya would have rolled his eyes even if he wasn’t about to experience a heart attack.

As Hiro leaned in he felt his heart race, but he still closed his eyes and also leaned in, tilting his head slightly to make it more comfortable. It seemed like other people generally did that.

Byakuya’s lips were soft, gentle. Of course they were, chapped lips would probably be below a Togami. Still, their gentleness was a deep contrast to how Byakuya’s generally talked-- sharp and to the point.

Hiro’s lips were against his and Byakuya thought that he was going to internally combust. Instead of doing that though, he just reciprocated the action.