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There's Something About a Well-Dressed Man in a Suit

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Tweek stood in the doorway to the bathroom, eyes focused intently on the sight in front of him. It was a rare occasion, he thought, and he wanted to savor the moment the best he could. He leaned against the doorframe and tilted his head to the side. 


“What.” Craig said, leaning over the counter and fussing with his hair. 


“Nothing.” Tweek said. He crossed his arms and continued to stare. 


Craig’s eyes focused on him from the mirror. “What.”


“I said nothing!” Tweek said. 


Craig stood back up, straightening out his white button up shirt, and fiddling with his blue tie. He turned to face Tweek, giving him another exasperated look as he walked past him and entered the bedroom. “What are you staring at?”


Tweek turned to face inside the bedroom, but continued to lean against the doorframe. “Am I not allowed to look at my husband?” 


Craig picked up a belt, sliding it through the loops and fastening it together. Tweek pressed his lips together as Craig said: “Depends on why you’re staring.” 


“Do I have to have a reason?” Tweek asked. “Why can’t I just like staring at you?”


Craig gave him that look again as he threw on his jacket, completing his ensemble. He pulled on his shirt sleeves, making sure the cuffs were buttoned and pulled all the way through the arms of the jacket. He adjusted the collar of his shirt and the collar of the jacket before holding his arms out, silently requesting Tweek’s approval. 


Tweek’s eyes widened, and he bit his lower lip. Fucking hell. “Fine. You look fine.” 


Craig put his arms down and walked back to Tweek. “We’ll see how it goes.” 


All you have to do is stand there and they’ll give you the job. “You’ll do fine.” Tweek ran his hand over Craig’s tie, feeling the smooth fabric under his fingertips. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on Craig’s lips. Just stay home.



“Okay honey, I’ll be home before dinner. Let me know if you want me to pick up anything on my way back.” Craig said. 


Tweek placed his hands on Craig’s hips, just under the suit jacket, and pulled him in close. He kissed him once more. “Works for me.” How about I have you for dinner?


Tweek watched Craig walk out the door, and he let out a loud breath. He started walking around the room, picking up articles of clothing and throwing them into the laundry hamper to wash. Black pants, white t-shirts, socks, boxers, blue hat . All piled up on Craig’s side of the bed. 


The two of them had been together for so many years, Tweek had pretty much stopped counting. Not that he was complaining, mind you, they were the best years of his life. In fact, they had been together for more years than they hadn’t been. But since they got together at such a young age, that was not a difficult feat to accomplish. 


Tweek frowned as he found another pile of clothes in the bathroom, reaching down and picking them up, before flinging them across the room into the hamper. His mind wandering about Craig clearly being too comfortable with him now - he didn't even make an effort anymore! Tweek ignored the pile of clothes on his own side of the bed as he continued to think.


Their circumstances were...different, to say the least. There wasn't that typical time period where the two of them were trying to get the other person's attention before asking them out. No. They were pushed together in fourth grade by the yaoi nonsense.


So Tweek had missed out on the typical dating experience. Honestly, he didn't even care about that; Craig was the most amazing man. Even if - Tweek knelt down and picked up a sock - he didn't put as much work into his appearance anymore. It was more that he missed out on all the formalities of the wooing phase - the part where they were supposed to try and impress each other. 


The image of Craig getting ready this morning came into Tweek's head and he paused his movements for a second. Craig looked damn good. He hadn't seen Craig all dressed up like that since their wedding. 


Boy did he wish Craig dressed up more often. There was something about a man wearing a suit…


Tweek shook his head, moving to the bed to fix the sheets and blanket to at least give the illusion that they gave a fuck. He fluffed up the pillows, arranging them neatly near the headboard. When the bed looked like at least some effort was made, he grabbed one of the laundry baskets and headed for the laundry room.


As the washer started, Tweek started shoving clothes into it, not really bothering with sorting anything. His green button ups went in with Craig's black pants. The only thing he at least tried to sort out were the whites, but he was sure he threw a few socks in the mix too. He slammed the washer lid closed and returned to the room.


At least Tweek tried to keep up a minimal appearance. His closet was full of button ups, all with collars! Craig's side of the closet was just t-shirts, which were mostly unseen due to his blue jacket, and his hair was constantly covered by his hat. Tweek had managed to get his own hair to look presentable, and he could even button up his shirt correctly. 


Its not that Craig looked bad in his typical outfit, but he just looked fucking amazing when he dressed up. The suit was obviously preferred, but he might've even taken a polo shirt at this point. 


He briefly wondered if he could manage to get Craig back into his metrosexual phase. 


He froze in place. 


Could he?


Tweek smirked to himself.




Tweek sat on the couch, legs crossed, as he flipped through his phone. He was tapping his foot up and down repeatedly as his eyebrows furrowed, eyes intently focused on his Amazon browsing. He had been searching for the last half an hour, and he wasn’t finding exactly what he needed. He didn’t want to have to go to an actual store - that required quite a bit of effort that Tweek wasn’t wanting to exert today (he was on vacation, damnit). But it seemed like that might be what he needed to do. 


No. No! He kept scrolling. That’s not the right color. He huffed, his breath strong enough to blow his bangs around. 


He was about to give up when it popped up on his screen. He sat up, uncrossing his legs. Perfect . He added what he needed to his cart, and then looked over his whole order, making sure to sign out of their Amazon account, and use incognito mode to place his order (cause that’s what incognito mode was intended for, duh ). If Craig got an email notification of this purchase, Tweek would lose it. 


Rush shipping! Prime shipping! Get here in an hour! Tweek clicked through his options. Get here faster! He entered their credit card info and sent the order, then tossed the phone to the couch. Now he just had to wait. 


He walked into the kitchen, putting his hands on his hips as he looked at the pile of dishes on the counter, and at the dishwasher that was full of clean dishes. Tweek started unloading the dishes, silently wondering how many cups Craig actually needed to use, ignoring the fact that nearly half those cups were actually his. 


His mind wandered again back to that morning; he remembered Craig pulling his pants up as he wore the unbuttoned white dress shirt. Tweek nearly dropped a plate at the thought.


How was he supposed to get anything done today?


He finished the dishes, managing not to break any of them somehow, and started sweeping the floor. Why the fuck was he doing all these chores on his vacation ? Craig should sweep the floor - he’s not even working. Tweek thought, ignoring the fact that Craig had swept the floor earlier that week. 


He wondered if Craig got the job. The poor man had been submitting application upon application after he got laid off and hadn’t heard anything back until a few days ago, when some company called and offered for him to come to an all day job fair. He really hoped that Craig got this job - he was feeling pretty bad not working. 


Though, Tweek was sure he would get it. Especially if the hiring manager wasn’t fucking blind


He dropped the broom handle, the whole thing hitting the tile floor with a resonating SLAP. 


“God damnit.” Tweek muttered, picking the broom back up. 


He walked through the kitchen and the dining room, dragging the broom around with him. He absentmindedly swept the floor, eyes staring at a photo of him and Craig on the wall. It was a copy of the photo on his desk at work, and it always made him smile.


After a few minutes, he realized he was just sweeping the same spot over and over again, so he gave up, putting the broom away and walking out into the backyard. He turned the hose on and started watering the plants, silently wondering if they would get some rain in the near future. 


Where is my damn package. Tweek thought as he watered the same plant for the fifth time, causing a small flood to pool around the base of it. It's only been… he reached into his pocket, cursing when he didn't find his phone there. He dropped the hose and, thank jesus, turned it off before going back into the house.


Where the fuck. He thought. He turned around several times, trying to remember where he put the damn thing.


"Hey Google where's my phone?" He asked.


"You are one minute from your home." The Google Assistant responded.


"What. No you fucking idiot I said where's my phone !" 


"I'm sorry, I did not find any results for that." 


"HEY GOOGLE WHERE IS MY PHONE" He shouted. This time, he could hear the faint ring of his phone from the living room. He facepalmed when he saw the thing sitting on the couch. He picked it up to stop it from ringing and then took it with him to the front door. He peered out through the peephole and squinted his eyes. 


He sighed, going back upstairs and stopping by the laundry room to switch the clothes from the wash to the dryer. After putting another load of mismatched clothes into the washer, he walked into the loft, leaning against the windows, and stared out into the front of his house.


How long was stupid Amazon gunna take? Tweek tapped his foot repeatedly and checked his phone. He held his head back and stared at the ceiling. Like, no time had passed. 


His phone buzzed, and he nearly flung it across the room. He managed to keep his grip on it, and checked his notifications. It was a text from Craig, telling him how his day was going. They were on a lunch break, and Craig was thinking of where to get food. 


I’ll give you something to eat. Tweek shook his head and typed a more reasonable response. Just after he hit send, another message came through, and this time Tweek did drop his phone. 


“Fuck.” Tweek bent down and picked it up, staring at the message Craig had sent him.


Another rare occasion. 


Craig had taken a selfie. A damn good selfie. One where he was giving Tweek a genuine smile. One where his green eyes were also somehow smiling, and he was still wearing that damn suit.


Tweek brought his knuckle to his mouth, biting softly. After staring for who knows how long, he finally responded.


Tweek: Where’s your mask?


Craig was wearing a mask in the next picture he received, but he was also flipping off the camera. There was no message accompanying the picture, and Tweek shook his head. 


Tweek: That’s better. <3


The next notification he received was from Amazon, and he bolted downstairs. 




Tweek leaned over the counter, wincing as he plucked at his eyebrows. His right eye started tearing up, and one tear fell down his cheek. How did people do this all the time? He wiped the tear away, rubbing at the red skin around his eye before shifting to start on the other side. 


“Come on, Tweek. You don’t want them to be gayer than us, right?”


Tweek flinched once more as he pulled out a particularly stubborn hair. He dropped the tweezers onto the counter, watching as they bounced and fell into the sink. His mind wandered to that time - the time before they were together, and he let a small smile form on his lips. 


“Why do we want to be gayer than them?” He remembered asking. 


Tweek started combing through his hair, applying the dye he mixed earlier to specific pieces, and wrapping them in tin foil. 


“We can’t let them win,” Craig had said. “They’re fucking assholes.”


Tweek paused for a second, staring straight into the mirror and into his blue eyes. He looked silly with pieces of his hair sticking up; one hand holding up another piece and the other holding the brush. The face looking back at him was one he recognized, and yet, it still felt surreal. He pictured the same face, only much younger, looking back as Craig performed these same actions on his hair over twenty years ago. 


If you asked Tweek, Craig definitely won the contest of who was gayer - even before he had come out as actually gay. 


It was the little things that made Tweek wonder what took them so long to figure out they were gay to begin with. He folded his last piece of tin foil over his hair and washed the dye off his hands. 


He walked back into the bedroom, looking at the rest of his Amazon order laid out on the bed. While it wasn’t exact, it was damn close, and Craig better appreciate it. Tweek looked at his phone again, scrolling over the photos Craig had sent him earlier. He stopped at the photo of Craig smiling; a shiver running down his spine. 


Oh yes, Craig better appreciate this. 


He glanced at the time and counted a bit on his fingers. He was pretty sure he timed it right, but he wanted to double check. 


Tweek: How are things going?


Craig: I think we’re almost done. Maybe two hours until I’m home. What do you want for dinner?


Tweek : You - I just want you for dinner, all night lo--- Tweek hit the backspace repeatedly. 


Tweek: I think we have something here. Just come home


There. That should do it. Tweek hit send and tossed his phone on the bed. Two hours. That was plenty of time. He walked back into the bathroom and cleaned up some of the packaging he left lying around. He turned on the shower, waiting for it to heat up before stripping down and stepping in, careful to keep his hair from the stream. 


Tweek picked up the razor, frowning at the device. The things he did for love. He sighed and began lathering up his legs with shaving cream. 


“Ack! Why do we have to do this?” He had asked Craig. 


“You can’t have hairy legs, Tweek. I mean, come on.” The younger Craig had handed him a razor like this one. “I did mine already, you gotta do it too.”


“What does this have to do with being gay?” 


“You gotta be fabulous, honey.”  


Tweek rolled his eyes as he remembered the first time Craig had inadvertently used his future pet name. They were so naive back then - what did this really have to do with being gay? Nothing. But he knew he had to go all out if his plan was gunna work. 


He frowned as he realized he should probably use the razor on more than just his legs.




“Babe, I’m home.” 


Tweek opened the door to their bedroom, poking his head out. “I’m upstairs!” He yelled. He shut the door, leaning back against it and sighing loudly. He pushed the bangs out of his face and adjusted his clothes before stepping to the side.


The door opened, and Tweek pressed himself against the wall, letting the door open in front of him. “Honey, where are you?” 


Tweek put his hand on the door, slamming it shut behind Craig.


As Craig turned around, Tweek put a hand over his eyes. “Babe, what are you doing?” 


Tweek took a deep breath, looking over his husband. Craig was standing still, hands to his side, expression completely neutral from what Tweek could see from what his hand wasn’t covering. His suit was a little less pristine, showing the wear from the day, but it was still properly buttoned and tucked in. Tweek licked his lips, running his free hand over Craig’s stomach before snaking it around his waist and pulling him in close. “You’ve been gone all day.” 


“Yes, I was at a job interview.” Craig said. 


Tweek frowned. This clueless motherfucker...he kept the hand over Craig’s eyes, turning him around and pushing him forward. Craig seemed to understand what he was trying to do as he took a few steps forward. 


“You left me home all day .” Tweek said. “All alone.


“Did you want to come with me?” 


“Craig…” Tweek rolled his eyes. When they reached the bed, Tweek shoved Craig down onto it. “You are so fucking ridiculous.”


Craig turned around to face Tweek, still lying on the bed. “What are you--” his voice stopped as he was finally able to see Tweek. “Honey...what the fuck ?”


Tweek crawled up on the bed, straddling his husband’s waist. He was wearing a pink jacket, buttons undone and showing a white t-shirt with a pink triangle on it. The lowlights in his hair created a perfect contrast to his normal light blonde color. “You don’t like it?” He undid Craig’s belt buckle, pulling the belt through the loops, listening to the soft sound of the fabric and the gentle clink of the metal.



Craig tried to sit up, but Tweek pushed him back down on the bed. “I didn’t say I didn’t like it.”


Tweek tossed the belt to the other side of the room. “This is your fault. You got all dressed up.” Tweek undid Craig’s button, slowly zipping down his pants. 


Craig’s eyes widened, and his tongue poked out of his mouth, wetting his lips. “ like when I dress up?”


Tweek sat up straight, looking down at Craig and taking note of his husband’s slightly disheveled hair and unbuttoned pants. He stopped himself from leaning over and pulling Craig’s shirt apart, instead he placed his fingers just underneath the waistband of Craig’s boxers. “What do you think?” He massaged Craig’s hip bones slowly, taking in the muted gasp his husband gave. 


“Is that why you’re dressed up?” Craig asked, closing his eyes slowly as Tweek pressed harder into his skin. He sucked in another breath and opened his eyes. 


Tweek smirked, running a hand through his hair. “I wanted to remind you of a time when we both dressed up.”


Craig tried to sit up on his elbows, but was pushed back down again. “So you went back to fourth grade ?” 


Tweek rolled his eyes. “Shut up, man.” He leaned forward, hovering just above Craig’s lips, reaching up and touching the soft skin of Craig’s face with his fingertips. He trailed slowly over Craig’s forehead, nose, and then over his lips, and Craig stared wide eyed back at him. Tweek pressed their lips together, pulling back after only a second, and sat back up. “I was thinking about going full metrosexual again, what do you think?”


Craig opened his mouth to respond but was cut off as Tweek reached into Craig’s pants and took a hold of him. “Well uhh...ahh...I’m good with whatever you like, honey.” Craig closed his eyes again, arching his back as Tweek massaged him firmly. 


Tweek narrowed his eyes, loosening his grip slightly. “Hm? Does this outfit not interest you?”


Craig reached his hand up and Tweek batted it away. 


“Cause let me tell you something,” Tweek shifted lower, kneeling down and looking up at Craig from the tops of his eyes. He pulled Craig’s dick through his boxers, pumping it a few times and watched as it continued to harden up. “I have been thinking about you all day . There’s something about a well dressed man in a suit…” Tweek ran his tongue alongside Craig’s shaft, causing Craig to try and sit up again. 


“Fuck…” Craig said, and Tweek used his free hand to shove Craig down again. 


Tweek licked the base once more in one fluid motion, then placed his lips around the head. He circled his tongue over the head before opening his mouth, taking Craig fully into him. Tweek drank up the moan that came from his husband, loving the soft babbles of “Yes, oh god,” that fell out of his mouth. 


Craig threw an arm over his face, his breathing becoming more shallow as Tweek continued his motions. Tweek bobbed his head up and down slowly, pulling Craig’s erection as deep as he could into his mouth, feeling it hit the back of his throat, before pulling back out and repeating the motion. 


“Oh my god…” Craig looked down at Tweek, and Tweek stared straight at him as he moved down once more, his lips reaching all the way to the bottom as he took all of Craig into him. While fully engulfing Craig, Tweek swallowed around him, and licked him slowly. Craig reached out, grabbing onto Tweek’s hair, but Tweek slapped his hands away, and glared at him with his cock still in his mouth. 


Tweek slowly lifted up, leaving behind a trail of saliva on Craig that he used to slowly stroke him with. “What about now? You like this outfit now?”


“Yes.” Craig said immediately; Tweek could barely finish his sentence. 


“I seem to have your attention, huh?” Tweek went down on Craig again, sliding him all the way into his mouth, and then pulling back up with a pop. He stroked him harder, watching as Craig’s head tilted back again.


“Oh you have my attention.” Craig said, letting out a particularly loud moan as Tweek sucked on him again. 


“Good.” Tweek responded around Craig’s cock, pulling his cheeks in to suck harder. He watched Craig’s hands come up again, but immediately fall back down, grasping the sheets tightly. Tweek grasped the base of Craig’s erection, stroking him in time with the movements from his mouth, picking up the pace as Craig arched his back once more. 


Tweek used his other hand to push up the base of Craig’s shirt up, exposing his stomach. Tweek ran his fingernails over the sensitive skin, and Craig let out another moan, thrusting his hips up slightly to meet Tweek’s mouth. Tweek recognized these signs, and he pulled back immediately and sat up. 


“, Tweek…” Craig whined, covering his face again with his arm. “Why….why’d you stop?”


Tweek wiped his mouth of the excess saliva, and admired the man underneath him. Craig was breathing heavily, his black hair disheveled and strewn about. His tie, still fastened around his neck, was thrown to the side. His jacket opened enough to see the curve of his waist, and his white button up pushed high to still see his stomach. Craig’s pants were undone, and his dick was standing upright through his boxers. 


Craig moved his arm to poke one eye out to stare up at Tweek, and Tweek had to bite his lip, reaching down and grabbing a hold of his own dick through his pants to try and mute the intense arousal that coursed through him. This was his husband. Craig belonged to him and no one else. 


“Don’t move.” Tweek ordered, grabbing a pillow and throwing it over Craig’s face, ignoring the muffled sound of protest that came from him. He hopped off the bed, careful not to disturb Craig, and removed his shoes. 


“Honey…” Craig said, a bit of a whine in his voice.


“I said don’t move!” Tweek said as he removed his pants, letting his own dick free. He rummaged around in the nightstand next to the bed, finding what he needed, and then returned to straddling his husband.


“Should we remove my--” 


“Shut up, shut up!” Tweek said, popping open the top to the bottle he retrieved. He turned the bottle over, allowing the liquid to slowly flow from it and fall directly onto Craig’s cock. 


“Ahh!” Craig said. “That’s fucking cold!”


“Shh!” Tweek squeezed the bottle harder, which caused even more liquid to pool up around Craig. Some of it fell onto Craig’s pants, but Tweek merely shrugged. They could send this for dry cleaning later. 


Or...Tweek would just buy him a hundred more suits just like this. 


Once he was satisfied, Tweek added some of the lube to his fingers, reaching around and pushing them into himself slowly, making sure to coat himself sufficiently. This wasn’t their first time, and it for sure wouldn’t be their last. Tweek returned to stroking Craig, watching as his husband finally threw the pillow off his head. 


Tweek made sure to keep eye contact with Craig as he slowly inched himself down onto Craig’s cock, reveling in the feeling of being filled up. Craig reached out to touch Tweek, but Tweek shook his head, and Craig slammed his fists on the bed in protest. 


“Why, Tweek?” Craig moaned. 


Tweek leaned forward, pressing kisses to the side of Craig’s face, trailing them down his neck. “You don’t like when I take charge?”


Craig tilted his head back once more. “I didn’t--” he groaned as Tweek lifted himself up and slid back down over his cock. “--I...didn’t say that.”


Tweek sat back up, using his thighs to slowly rock himself over his husband, enjoying the warmth inside him and the feeling of being connected with his one special person. He placed his hands underneath Craig’s shirt, using him for support as he rode him. 


God damn, Craig was so hot


“You go out dressed like... that ,” Tweek said, slamming himself back down, causing Craig to let out another moan. “And don’t realize how sexy that is?”


Craig thrust up in time to meet Tweek as he came down once more, and Tweek let out a sharp cry. “What about you...huh Tweek ? I come...come home and you’re dressed like this ?”


“Fuck!” Tweek shouted as Craig took a hold of him and started pumping in time with their movements. Tweek rolled his head back. Oh god!


“You’re so fucking hot.” Tweek yelled, then leaned down, pressing their chests together, and started kissing Craig. He pushed his tongue through Craig’s lips, kissing him aggressively and open-mouthed. 


Craig moaned into Tweek’s mouth, picking up the pace with his hips and his hand. Tweek sat up again, pulling himself away from his husband, and bounced in time with the thrusts. Tweek put his hands up in his hair, losing himself to the movements.


“I’m gunna…” Craig started, and Tweek kept up the pace, watching as Craig’s eyes clenched shut and his mouth hung open. Tweek could feel Craig pulsating inside him, and he himself went over the edge, coming all over Craig’s hand and stomach. 


Tweek collapsed on top of Craig, breathing heavily, but in time with Craig’s breaths as well. He wrapped his arms around Craig’s head, feeling the sticky layer of sweat that drenched Craig’s hair. 


“Wow…” was all Craig said after a few minutes. 


Tweek laughed, slowly managing to push himself off Craig to walk into the bathroom. He stopped at the linen closet, grabbing a few towels and tossing them onto the bed. One hit Craig in the face, and he didn’t even try to stop it. 


Tweek helped clean them up, dropping the towels on the side of the bed before lying down next to Craig, both still wearing their clothes from earlier. Craig, still in his full suit but completely wrinkled and out of place, and Tweek, still in at least his shirt and jacket, snuggled together on the bed. 


“You really like the suit, huh?” Craig asked finally, his hand absentmindedly weaving through Tweek’s newly dyed hair. 


“No, I fucking hate it.” Tweek said, his head lying on Craig’s chest. 


Craig laughed. The two of them laid together, and Tweek closed his eyes, letting the relaxing afterglow wash over him. Tweek enjoyed sex as much as the next guy, but the moments after had to be his favorite. The world just seemed so much calmer ; everything moved slower. Life focused on the present moment.


Even though they were a total mess, Tweek wouldn't trade it for the world.


He pushed his fingers underneath Craig's shirt, scratching at his chest hair. 


"So...uh, meteosexual huh?" Craig asked.


Tweek snickered. "I seem to remember you being very into it…" 


"I think I might like it for a different reason now." Craig said.


Tweek leaned over, pressing a lazy kiss to Craig's lips, and holding them together for a few moments. He smiled into the kiss - a feeling of contentment spreading through him. "I ordered you an outfit too. You should put it on later."


"Babe, I will wear whatever you want me to." Craig's serious response made Tweek laugh yet again and he rolled over on top of him, kissing him senselessly. 


"You're damn right you will."