A Partial List of Things Class 1-A Thinks Aizawa Doesn't Know About

by Sour_Idealist

Summary:

Alternately: thirty things that Aizawa definitely knows about.

1. Yaoyorozu has figured out how to synthesize moonshine.
2. Ashido snuck Eri a bag of candy almost as big as Eri is, which Eri hid in the back of her closet for a week before eating herself sick.
3. Todoroki ruined a communal frying pan by trying to cook with his quirk while the stove was in use.
4. Hagakure and Ojiro are having sex.
5. Asui and Uraraka both use their quirks to climb up to the roof when they can't sleep.
6. In an impressive display of courage, Kaminari has been stealing Bakugo's leftovers.
7. Kaminari uses his quirk nigh-constantly to charge people's phones and power appliances.
8. Kaminari is the reason Aizawa has had to go reset the fuse box four times this month.
9. Kaminari and Shinso are having sex.
10. Bakugo has been having nightmares at least once a month since Kamino Ward but refuses to acknowledge it beyond cooking himself eggs at 2am.
11. Tokoyami cooks himself eggs at 2am for no other reason than perversity.
12. Sato has been giving cupcakes to Midnight in a blatant act of either teenage infatuation or unfairly partisan brown-nosing.
13. Koda's rabbit ate a surprising amount of a couch leg.
14. Uraraka has outgrown her clothes so many times this year, as she puts on muscle mass and changes how she carries weight, that she's getting all her clothes from Yaoyorozu. Depending on how you interpret provisional hero licenses and a couple of different laws, this might be both an actual crime and under Aizawa’s jurisdiction as a hero, but given that this is stupid, he's not going to say anything.
15. Ashido and Sero are having sex.
16. Midoriya, Bakugo, and All Might share a secret that Aizawa is likelier to learn about as Eraserhead than as their teacher, and Aizawa will forever think a little less of All Might for putting such weight on kids so young. (He's fairly sure All Might has come to agree with him on this.)
17. Jiro has been smuggling pornography to everyone in class except for Mineta, because apparently none of his students can circumvent a firewall.
18. Yes, “everyone except Mineta” includes Iida.
19. Todoroki, Sero, and Yaoyorozu all burn illicit candles in their rooms on a regular basis. Usually scented.
20. Hagakure set off the fire alarms while straightening her hair, to Aizawa’s eternal bafflement.
21. Yaoyorozu and Jiro are having sex.
22. Midoriya can't usually manage moderate amounts of misbehavior any more than he can manage moderation in anything else, but he is very definitely the one who overloaded the washing machine.
23. Kirishima has dyed one of the boys' bathroom sinks completely red. Aizawa is not sure how his students think he can't figure this one out, since he is not an idiot, but there you have it.
24. Aoyama has never washed a dish in his life.
25. Shoji has carried at least two-thirds of the class to bed at some point after they've fallen asleep in the common room, which is technically unauthorized room access. (Kaminari, Asui, Sero, Yaoyorozu, Uraraka, Tokoyami with Dark Shadow manifested but also asleep, Hagakure, Midoriya, Ojiro, Bakugo, Aoyama, and — impressively — Sato.)
26. Uraraka moves abandoned laundry into a wet heap on top of the machines without either hesitation or remorse.
27. Bakugo and Midoriya are having... something, probably sex.
28. Ashido flushed a bad English test down her toilet, which, since the dorm was built in a week, somehow backed up every drain in the building.
29. Asui occasionally eats flies during class.
30. His students might actually die for him, if he ever screws up badly enough to give them the chance.