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Trade You the Contradictions for Just One Truth

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He hates this.

“Gods, Kaeya…” Diluc moans when Kaeya sucks on a spot just beneath the redhead’s ear.

To be clear: No, he doesn’t hate having sex with Diluc. In fact, he loves it. Craves the other man’s release as much as his own, even.

But he hates why Diluc’s here.

Every time. Every morning after, he’ll be reminded of the fact that they’re not anything special. That Diluc’s only using him. That they’re just friends with benefits. Fuck buddies.

And that he’s is too in love with Diluc to ever risk losing this thing that they have going on now. As much as it’ll hurt him later.

“Bend over and close your legs, sweetheart.”

“Close?” Diluc looks back at him between gasps with questioning eyes, but does it for Kaeya anyways. He feels a surge of exhilaration from Diluc’s raw display of trust.

Kaeya reaches down to grope Diluc’s thighs, pushing them closer together, and kisses over the fading marks on his shoulder blades. Pretends that those are his marks from their last tryst. Kaeya gently lathers the lube between those muscled thighs before slicking up his own dick. By now, Diluc has caught on to Kaeya’s intentions and clenches his legs tighter.

Kaeya grins at the sight. It’s something he doesn’t expect to get used to any time soon. Or ever, if he’s being honest. Diluc is beautiful. Bent over and pliant under his touches, panting with his face half turned to him, pressed into the sheets. Diluc impatiently twitches back to grind his ass over Kaeya’s groin, causing the latter snap back and let out a moan of his own.

“You always stare too much.” Diluc looks at him with furrowed brows as he chastises Kaeya playfully. Extending an arm out, he invites the Favonius knight for another kiss. And Kaeya is a weak, weak man. Too weak to confess his feelings towards the beauty in front of him. Too weak to stop this for his own sanity. Too weak to ever leave Diluc wanting. So, he lets himself get pulled down for another heated kiss. To forget about his unrequited feelings for a bit and to just lose himself in the present.

Diluc rolls his hips back again and Kaeya feels his dick growing harder with the way Diluc teases him. His will almost snaps. He trails a hand up to cup one of the cheeks and slides his thumb over the rim of his hole.

“I wanna fuck you here so bad,” Kaeya whispers into Diluc’s ear and he could feel shiver from the body under him.

“But, I’m sure you want to be able to stand tomorrow.” Kaeya knows, from his own intelligence network, that there will be a secret Fatui meeting somewhere tomorrow and that meant Diluc will be there. He can’t stop him and he can’t follow him due to his own limited information— not from the lack of trying of course. But, there are a few corners of an information guild that the salary of a Cavalry Captain can’t reach. The best he can do is at least hold back tonight and let Diluc protect himself tomorrow night.

“As if you could fuck me so hard that I’ll be feeling it a whole twenty-four hours later.” Diluc scoffs, feigning annoyance at his words— only for the illusion to be broken when he moans again, louder. The tip of a thumb breaches him and his body involuntarily pushes back on the finger, clenching it in farther.

“Isn’t that why you always come back, though?” Kaeya thrusts his cock between Diluc’s thighs, angling it so that their dicks slid against one another. He’s rewarded by a shuddered gasp that escapes Diluc’s lips. Hips jerk back, adding to the friction.

He guides Diluc’s hand to their two throbbing members, rubbing them against each other. Together, they wrapped their fingers around their cocks in a comfortable grip. Kaeya leads their strokes agonizing slow and Diluc almost whimpers before clasping a hand over his mouth to stop such needy sounds.

“Why are you embarrassed now? You’ve been moaning for me so sweetly since the start.” Kaeya pries the hand away from Diluc’s mouth and flicks their wrists up for a quick stroke, earning a strangled moan from the man under him.

“There’s no point in pretending anymore.” Kaeya leaves sloppy kisses over the nape of Diluc’s neck and sucking over some old marks.

“Ah—! Y-You’re not that good.”

“Oh yeah?” Kaeya moves his hips back and thrusts back into space between Diluc’s thighs. Diluc throws his head back and cries out when he feels Kaeya’s member pushing under his. He tenses his legs around the dick and rocks back, rutting on his partner’s thick cock. It feels feverishly hot between Diluc’s legs but also extremely good when he feels their dicks rubbing against each other’s whole length.

“That’ll be more believable if you weren’t crying out my name.” Kaeya grasps Diluc’s jaw and forces the other to look at him. Diluc opens his mouth, a retort ready on his tongue, but Kaeya acts first and kisses him slowly— the way Diluc likes it. When they break apart, Diluc gives him a frustrated look. Like he wants to tell Kaeya otherwise but he can’t do it without seeming hypocritical.

But then Kaeya smirks and Diluc decides that being a hypocrite is fine if he could wipe that shit grin off.

“I’ve had better,” Diluc responds stubbornly. He flicks his tongue over Kaeya’s chin and bites down lightly.

That irks Kaeya. This was not the kind of dirty talk he wanted to have. Not when he could never know for sure about the things Diluc was implying.

He lets go Diluc’s jaw and places the hand on the side of Diluc’s thighs, pushing the muscles inwards and helping Diluc squeeze his penis more.

“Then, I’ll just have to work harder,” Kaeya says. It’s the only warning Diluc gets before he’s flung into a brutal pace as Kaeya starts thrusting between his thighs hard. He’s certain that there’ll be red marks on the inside of his thighs tomorrow. Their hands are wrapped over each other as they pump their lengths together in tandem with the thrusts. Kaeya’s thumb grazes over the slit of Diluc’s dick and smears the precum over their dicks, mixing it along with the lube.

Kaeya,” he moans. Diluc’s other hand reaches out to stabilize himself from the harsh pounding and grips onto the bedsheets tightly.

“P-Please,” Diluc’s back bows and his hips jerk up when Kaeya’s hand leaves his to play with his asshole again. The balance he found just seconds ago is lost when he slips falls over on his forearm. The hand that was jerking them off falls slack when a finger enters and he gasps sharply at the intrusion.

“C’mon sweetheart. I’m working really hard for you here.” His finger curls in and finds Diluc’s prostate easily.

“Ah—No, wait—” Diluc starting to feel dizzy from all the excitement and he fears he’ll come too soon. Kaeya’s cock continues to ruthlessly grind over Diluc’s which started leaking even more. Diluc could feel each drag of Kaeya’s dick over his balls and clenches tighter when he feels a pressure on his prostate again.

“Wouldn’t you say I’m pretty good?” Kaeya slinks down and presses soft kisses to Diluc’s shoulders.

“Ah— Yes! You are!”

“The best?”

“Yes! You’re my best!”

Kaeya moans at those words. He takes his finger out and flips Diluc so that they’re facing each other again and he takes in the sight. Diluc’s chest heaves up and down as he struggles to regain his breath. His eyes are glassy and there’s a trail of drool coming from Diluc’s mouth from when they kissed. A small part of Kaeya whispers to him: you’re not the only one who’ve seen him like this. But he quashes that line of thought quickly before he can wallow in his misery and ruin the mood. The logical side telling himself that there’s no way he could possibly expect Diluc to have waited so long for him. Not when Diluc didn’t even know how he felt—feels. He’s even guilty of using others the way Diluc is using him right now.

“Good,” Kaeya manages to choke out. He hoists both of Diluc’s legs over his left shoulder, almost bending him in half, and repositions himself back between those thighs— now stained with precum and lubricant. “Don’t forget it. No one can fuck you like I do.”

They don’t exchange any coherent sentences after that. Just moans accompanying the loud creaking of the bed and the sound of skin slapping. Kaeya continues to gently pepper kisses all over Diluc’s face and neck— anywhere he can reach. The soft kisses that Kaeya showers him with, despite the brutish thrusting his lower body is receiving, sends Diluc over the edge.

“Kaeya— I…” Diluc trails off. Too blissed out to remember he was talking.

“Me too, Diluc— me too.” Kaeya answers in short, succinct sentences as he nips Diluc’s neck.

Satisfied that his partner was also close to climaxing, Diluc crosses his legs, hooking one knee over the other and presses down on Kaeya’s shoulder. The extra squeeze from Diluc’s thighs had Kaeya seeing stars as he cums over Diluc’s chest. Ropes of white enters Diluc’s vision and a few drops land on his face.

“Shit, Diluc. You li’l devil.” Kaeya hadn’t planned to come before Diluc, but the little succubus knew just what to do. He unhooks Diluc’s legs from his shoulder to more comfortably wrap a hand around Diluc’s dick and jerks his wrist up the shaft. Diluc comes too in just a few short tugs. Kaeya takes a minute to watch Diluc basking in their orgasm. His mouth parted slightly, catching his breath, and his eyes staring back at him. It’s the only time he’s positive that Diluc is only thinking about him. And when he notices Diluc’s breathing easing back into an even pace, Kaeya flops down on top of him.

“Kaeya! That’s gross,” Diluc chides. He could feel their cum and sweat being smeared between their chests. Diluc squirms underneath and smacks Kaeya’s shoulder a few times while telling him off.

“Mmm… We can clean up later,” Kaeya mutters back, wrapping his arms around Diluc and bringing the latter into a loose embrace.

He scoots up a bit to Diluc’s eye level and brushes the wild hair out of Diluc’s face. He stares into those red eyes and wishes that they could always be like this. That Diluc would always be looking at him only. Kaeya could feel the post-coital tristesse catching up to him in waves the longer Diluc keeps his gaze. He should stop doing this. He could tell Diluc how he feels, but he doesn’t want to put him on the spot either. Diluc will feel guilty. And hurting him is the last thing Kaeya ever wants to do to him ever again. Not after the last time he let his emotions go unchecked. But it’s killing him. It kills him to keep this charade up in exchange for just a moment of bliss with Diluc. He can’t let this—

Kaeya feels a hand cup the back of his neck and pull him down. Soft lips kiss him sweetly before he can register what’s happening. A tongue licks over his bottom lip and he grants access easily, lulled into the kiss.

“I can hear you thinking from here, you sap.” Diluc smirks up at him mischievously when they break apart slowly.

Kaeya froze. Did he— no. No way had he actually said anything.

A leg brushes over his sides and Kaeya groans when he feels Diluc’s dick grind over his.

“Does it have anything to do with why you’re hard again?” Diluc grinds up harder to prove his point.

Caeles, Diluc. Ita me di ament.

“Thanks, but I’m not really trying to review my Khaenri'ahn right now,” he says and pulls him down for another kiss. Kaeya eagerly meets him halfway this time. He’ll think about those things later. Right now, he’s sure of one thing.

He loves Diluc too much to let him go again.