"We so totally are gayer than you guys!" Cartman yelled at Craig.
"No you're not! We've got rainbow pins and pink triangles! Its symbolism. How do we even know you butch boys are gay? Butters is the only one out of your group that looks gay enough to be considered. " Craig countered.
Butters beams at the compliment. "Gee thanks Craig. I put a lot of thought into this outfit."
"Clyde doesn't even match with you guys! I thought your group was doing matching outfits?" Stan retorts.
Craig sends a quick glare to Clyde because the two had argued over this before.
The two groups start yelling insults at each other back and forth for a while.
Suddenly Craig has an idea.
Craig whispers to Tweek "C’mon Tweek, let’s show them we're gayer."
They are standing close together and facing each other.
"What? How?" Tweek whispers back to him.
Craig whispers into his ear. "Kiss me."
"What?!" Tweek exclaims.
"Kiss me, kitten. They're too straight to try to do that." Craig whispers again.
Tweek sputters and pulls on various strands of hair. Craig grabs Tweek’s hands and moves them away from his head.
"Don't grab your hair, teacup. We just spent all morning fixing it again." Craig scolds.
"Ngh. But-" Tweek protests.
"It’s just a peck, sweetie." Craig coos at him.
They give a quick kiss with their lips just barely touching. When they pull back, Tweek eagerly leans back in for more. Craig locks lips with him in a few gentle kisses as he pulls Tweek closer. He rests his hands on Tweek's back and waist as Tweek has his hands on Craig’s chest looking up at him. The two are gazing at each other fondly.
Their friends look at them with wide eyes in shock. Surprised that the two would do such an action in front of them. After a moment Craig looks over at the other boys.
"See? Too straight." Craig says smugly.
"Dude, kissing a guy is like actual gay though." Stan states to them.
Craig asks annoyed "Your point? Isn’t being metrosexual the same as being gay just flamboyant? Why else are we arguing over who is gayer?"
"No, dude, I looked it up. Metrosexual is just straight guys caring about their appearance almost as much as girls usually do. You’re just gay, Craig." Kyle explains.
"I know I'm gay! I thought everyone else was too?" Craig says now confused.
"No way dude. I like girls." Clyde says to him.
A few murmurs of the other boys confirming they like girls too; except for Tweek. Craig looks down to Tweek.
"AH! I thought you knew and that's why you were calling me all these pet names. Ngh. We cuddle in our beds man! We cuddle at Token's sleepovers! I'm pretty sure straight guys don't do that, Craig! I’m gay." Tweek says to him.
"Look, Craig, we dont care if you're actually gay." Cartman explains. "It's about who looks the gayest."
"We kinda assumed Tweek of being gay though." Kenny says muffled.
"You did?" Tweek asks them, surprised.
"Yeah. You're kinda more obvious about it sometimes." Jason states. "Especially at lunch when I see you've made cupcakes that suspiciously look similar to Craig's hat."
Tweek blushes at that.
"Well fellas, I think Craig wins your argument. You can't get more gay than him actually being gay." Butters explains.