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The A.Z. Fell and Co. Conspiracy

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Antiquarian Book Collecting > London Bookshops > The A.Z. Fell and Co. Conspiracy

brokenbibliophile 27/09/2019

Okay everybody, we already know that A.Z.Fell and Co is a difficult place to visit (to put it mildly) and that the owner is a tad eccentric. However, I was digging through some old records of 1900s Gentleman’s clubs and


[image: a group of men dancing the gavotte, all dressed in black with the exception of one man dressed in white, who is dancing in the centre]

I swear, that guy in the middle is Mr Fell.

theBooksteer 27/09/2019

#confirmedimmortaldemon

Galaxy-Tempest 27/09/2019

okay that is a freaky resemblance but demon? seems a bit harsh. he’s just a cooky middle-aged bookseller

PiperIsaNerd 27/09/2019

Trust me Vee, once you try to buy a book from him you’ll be convinced of his bastardry

cherrytree93 27/09/2019

has this dude not changed his outfit in a century?

yayjaysgay 27/09/2019

Ikr, I've never seen him wear anything else

cherrytree93 27/09/2019

his closet is probably like a cartoon character's - he opens it up and it's a million copies of the same outfit

yayjaysgay 27/09/2019

lmfao YES

SolitaryUnicorn 27/09/2019

It's a wonder he has a bf honestly

yayjaysgay 27/09/2019

he has a boyfriend??

cherrytree93 27/09/2019

I'd have pegged him as gay ngl

Galaxy-Tempest 27/09/2019

Err this is a lil invasive (yh yh i know this whole thread is but like it's more of a joke while someones sexuality is not)

BooksnJasmineTea [Mod] 27/09/2019

I agree, if yall wish to have this discussion can you please move to DMs?

yayjaysgay 27/09/2019

Ay ay captain

cherrytree93 27/09/2019

oh ofc! v sorry :(

casual_collector 10/11/2019

Trust me Vee, once you try to buy a book from him you’ll be convinced of his bastardry

@PiperIsaNerd I managed to buy a book easily tho? (Sorry, I know this thread hasn't been active for a couple of months, but this comment is confusing me)

PiperIsaNerd 10/11/2019

YOU DID?????

CherryTree93 10/11/2019

How?

typewriter-clicks 10/11/2019

Which one?

casual_collector 10/11/2019

It was A Christmas Carol -my bf and I found the place while browsing soho and got a gorgeous 1908 edition

PiperIsaNerd 10/11/2019

Maybe he just hates that book?

brokenbibliophile 10/11/2019

Wow, this is exciting!

Galaxy-Tempest 10/11/2019

Yo guys whats going on?

PiperIsaNerd 10/11/2019

this is off the rails omf, you did you do it???

theBooksteer 10/11/2019

@Galaxy-Tempest we think mr fell is an immortal occult being and Piper is having a crisis bc @casual_collector somehow accidentally bought a book

Galaxy-Tempest 10/11/2019

ah cool, normal day around here then XD

casual_collector 10/11/2019

@PiperIsaNerd I dunno… I found this old bible, called for Gabe to come have a look, Mr Fell comes out looking weirdly scared, sees us, then seems super relieved.

Gave great customer service actually.

PiperIsaNerd 10/11/2019

jesus Christ

theBooksteer 10/11/2019

damn, how scary are you?

casual_collector 10/11/2019

I'm not!! It's just... y'know, it was an old bible, so I was doing this joking thing where I tried to sound all intimidating, like I was summoning the Angel Gabriel, not my (bless him) disaster boyfriend

typewriter-clicks 10/11/2019

so mr fell is apparently scared of the angel gabriel

theBooksteer 10/11/2019

Only adding fuel to our 'Mr Fell's an Immortal Demon' conspiracy fire

casual_collector 10/11/2019

I do feel very bad, on top of everything else he ended up letting the book go for really cheap

Galaxy-Tempest 10/11/2019

ooh how much??

brokenbibliophile 10/11/2019

Ah, it is clear that art (this forum) is influencing life (Mr Fell)

PiperIsaNerd 10/11/2019

don't terrify us with the mental image of Mr Fell reading this forum lmao

Galaxy-Tempest 10/11/2019

Oh god no

typewriter-clicks 10/11/2019

What xe said

theBooksteer 10/11/2019


[image: a meme of a sitcom character saying "Nooooooo, please, nooooo"]

casual_collector 10/11/2019

ooh how much??

@Galaxy-Tempest Like a fiver

PiperIsaNerd 10/11/2019

maybe he mistook you for one of the mafia dudes his shop's a front for (jk... mostly)

theBooksteer 10/11/2019

honestly mr fell is such a wildcard i wouldnt be surprised lmao

typewriter-clicks 10/11/2019

@casual_collectorhe gave it to you for WHAT

casual_collector 10/11/2019

Yeah, he basically gave it away

typewriter-clicks 10/11/2019

I'm in shock

PiperIsaNerd 10/11/2019

I'm in awe

brokenbibliophile 10/11/2019

As you may have gathered @casual_collector, it is notoriously hard to buy a book from this bookshop

theBooksteer 10/11/2019

ppl have literally written guides on how to even have a chance lol

casual_collector 10/11/2019

Wait, really?? Now those I need to see

theBooksteer 10/11/2019

I'll DM them to you!

typewriter-clicks 11/11/2019

As this thread has been Resurrected, I feel it's only right that we talk abt some vampire bookseller conspiracy theories

Galaxy-Tempest 11/11/2019

ooh Vampire

brokenbibliophile 11/11/2019

don't flash me back to the Twilight days

Galaxy-Tempest 11/11/2019

awrseytdrdrtcdvete

yayjaysgay 11/11/2019

I mean, his 'family-owned' bookstop's been there over 200 years yet he's never had a family

theBooksteer 11/11/2019

so it could just be him?

brokenbibliophile 11/11/2019

Theoretically

PiperIsaNerd 11/11/2019

If he is immortal then I am endlessly envious of him

theBooksteer 11/11/2019

s a m e

casual_collector 12/11/2019

Oh my god guys I’ve just had a crazy realisation

typewriter-clicks 12/11/2019

What??

casual_collector 12/11/2019

So I read all the stuff on here abt A.Z. Fell, including that guide (mildly concerning ngl yall)

PiperIsaNerd 12/11/2019

As it should be :)

casual_collector 12/11/2019

Agree to disagree

Anyways, it mentioned some guy named Crowley in there

theBooksteer 12/11/2019

oh yh, his sunglasses wearing, cryptid partner

yayjaysgay 12/11/2019

I heard gay, I've arrived

theBooksteer 12/11/2019

about time ;)

PiperIsaNerd 12/11/2019

get a room <3

theBooksteer 12/11/2019

fuck off <3

casual_collector 12/11/2019

ANYWAYS

Look at the inscription on that Christmas Carol I bought:


[image: the title page of a 1908 edition of ‘A Christmas Carol’, with a handwritten inscription reading: “To my dear friend, A.Z. Fell, Merry Christmas 1908, From Crowley”]

PiperIsaNerd 12/11/2019

Holy Shit

typewriter-clicks 12/11/2019

omg

yayjaysgay 12/11/2019

fucking hell

brokenbibliophile 12/11/2019

Well that’s definitely something!

Galaxy-Tempest 12/11/2019

damnnn

theBooksteer 12/11/2019

crowley is the Immortal Vampire Husband to mr fells Creepy Immortal Demon

serpentofeden 12/11/2019

don’t make assumptions like that

Crowley could just as easily be the Immortal Demon Husband to Mr Fells Creepy Immortal Vampire

yayjaysgay 12/11/2019

valid but honestly crowley doesn’t give off demonic vibes imo

serpentofeden 12/11/2019

why do i even bother

PiperIsaNerd 12/11/2019

Jokes aside, Im really surprised he was willing to sell that to u

casual_collector 12/11/2019

I mean, I just figured it was like his grandfather and some weird mate
and I figured you can’t be too sentimental abt books if ur going to sell them

brokenbibliophile 12/11/2019

*sighs* We can only dream

typewriter-clicks 12/11/2019

It could just be some weird in-joke the two of them have.

brokenbibliophile 12/11/2019

That would make sense

casual_collector 12/11/2019

I'm feeling really guilty, I might give him a call to ask abt it

theBooksteer 12/11/2019

he has a phone number???

PiperIsaNerd 12/11/2019

even if it is probably just some in-joke, its waaaaay more fun to imagine them secretly being immortals

theBooksteer 12/11/2019

or an immortal and a time traveler

PiperIsaNerd 12/11/2019

ooooh y e s

typewriter-clicks 12/11/2019

we do still have that picture of his lookalike in the gentleman’s club

yayjaysgay 12/11/2019

and lets be real mr fell is 100% the kind of dude who would go to an antique gay club

theBooksteer 12/11/2019

Agreed

casual_collector 12/11/2019

SO guess what Mr Fell said

theBooksteer 12/11/2019

I've decided to start giving books to everyone, it's a christmas miracle!

PiperIsaNerd 12/11/2019

its november you dumbass

Galaxy-Tempest 12/11/2019

Shut up you lot, @casual_collector spill the tea

casual_collector 12/11/2019

Apparently he didn’t properly realise the book he was selling me but it actually has sentimental value to him

and he’d be willing to pay anything to get it back

typewriter-clicks 12/11/2019

Woah that's extreme

casual_collector 12/11/2019

So being the Comedian™ that I am, I suggest he pays off my grad school fees and he is just seriously like ‘of course’

yayjaysgay 12/11/2019

fucking hell

casual_collector 12/11/2019

Obviously I told him that it’s fine, I’ll just come by and exchange it tomorrow

brokenbibliophile 12/11/2019

Let me guess, he was more upset at that?

casual_collector 12/11/2019

Bingo

Galaxy-Tempest 12/11/2019

What a dude

PiperIsaNerd 12/11/2019

Okay but does this mean you have one (1) book from A.Z. Fell and Co. that you can have free of charge and stalking??

casual_collector 12/11/2019

Yep!

typewriter-clicks 12/11/2019

Oh my god

brokenbibliophile 12/11/2019

We should make another subforum to help you choose!

PiperIsaNerd 12/11/2019

everyone's gonna go nuts

casual_collector 02/12/2019

Guys... all my grad school fees and other bills have been paid off...

Galaxy-Tempest 02/12/2019

see, he does a have a small angelic streak!

yayjaysgay 02/12/2019

Damn... @theBooksteer we should go befriend this guy

theBooksteer 02/12/2019

it's a date :) <3

PiperIsaNerd 02/12/2019

FINALLY

typewriter-clicks 02/12/2019

awe I'm so happy for you guys!

serpentofeden 02/12/2019

yes, yes, congratulations, yadda yadda. Just look out for the Extremely Scary Snake