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A Real Game Changer

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     Cousin stood in the doorway of the detention room, eyes raking over the students held within. Ey were nervous, very nervous. So nervous in fact, ey wanted to turn tail and run home before anyone saw em here. But alas, it was not meant to be. A strange looking student standing (floating? ey couldn't really tell) in the back of the room caught eir eye and turned to the others.

     "Yo guys come greet the noob."

     Noob? Really? Cousin sighed and entered the room with a shy wave. "I-I'm Cousin Katamari...Who are all you?" Names started flying, too many for Cousin to keep track of. The only thing that stuck was 'stay away from the exchange students, they're extra weird,' not that Cousin was going to listen. Ey wanted to have words with the orange boy in the back, for drawing attention to em so rudely. Cousin marched up to the desk and took a breath, opening eir mouth to speak. "Listen, I don't th--"

     "--think it was very nice of me to call you out? Yeah I know, dick move, but it got you over here and that was the point so, hi, I guess. I'm Davesprite. Not that that's important, really you could skip all of this mindless talking if you want the fast forward button is like, right there."

     Cousin looked around, confused. Fast forward button? What? Oh god, ey had made the mistake of talking to the nut case didn't ey? Great, just what ey needed on top of everything else. "What are you even talking about? There's no fast forward button anywhere. And this isn't a game, this is high school!"

     "Okay well A, I'm not crazy I'm just really meta with this shit so I know it's a game. And B there's totally a fast forward button, you just can't see it. Only I can because I'm your game guide. And one of your possible love interests. You know how it goes, mom dad I'm going to marry this orange amalgamation of pixels and data I don't need a real boyfriend 'kay thanks bye."

     Cousin raised an eyebrow in question. Love interest? Was he hitting on em? Really?

     "Yes really."

     "I...didn't say anything..." Cousin said quietly, a little disturbed that Davesprite had answered a question ey hadn't even asked out loud.

     "I'm the game guide dude, I'm supposed to be able to do shit like that, it's cool just don't pay it any mind really. Oh, you should probably go talk to the other kids, find out who's story line you want to pursue."

     "Story line?" Cousin couldn't help but ask.

     "Mhmm. This is a dating sim yo, gotta figure out who you're gonna date."

     Cousin's eyes swept over the kids in the room once again. None of them seemed particularly eye catching to em. Not even the strange horned girl who kept licking the chalk and cackling. And then there was Davesprite. If what he was saying was true...well, it wouldn't hurt to stuck with him, would it? And even if he was just crazy, Cousin kind of liked the way he rambled, even if it could get a little confusing.

     "So you pick mine huh? You sure you wanna do that? I mean there are a lot better candidates here, seriously. Shit I wouldn't even pick me and I know I'm the suavest alternate bird boy in all of paradox space."

     Cousin snickered a little at the blatant ego stroking. "I might as well 'pursue your story line'...or whatever. You seem a lot neater than most of the others anyway." Even if you are a little crazy...

     "Not crazy," He reiterated. "But anyway, detention's pretty much over so...I'll see you around?"

     Cousin nodded. "I'll see you around, Davesprite."


     The school was holding a field day for all the clubs to gather new members, and Cousin had decided to join one, hoping to lessen eir detention sentence just a little bit. Another day in that hell hole was going to kill em, ey swore it. Looking around, it wasn't hard to spot Davesprite's bright orange plumage at one of the booths, chilling out with a comic book in hand. He looked remarkably bored there, all by himself. He also looked remarkably cute, Cousin thought. The sentence had barely crossed eir mind when ey watched Davesprite's head snap up, looking directly at em.

     "Hey! Cousin, yo, over here!" He called, waving em over.

     Cousin approached with a look of inquisition. "Davesprite? You're in a club?"

     "Uh...yeah. Webcomics Club or whatever you want to call it. It's ironic. Which makes it cool. The coolest, actually. You want to join?"

     "Yeah sure,!" Cousin answered with a smile.

     "Sweet," Davesprite said, walking with Cousin to the club room. "So, game, romance game, that's still totally what this is so let's get to the romancing."

     "It's a little creepy when you're that...forward. You know that right?" Cousin asked.

     "Oh. Right, heh, sorry. I shouldn't be creeping on you that's so wrong, I am in the wrong. I am the creeper asshole, it is me." He shrugged apologetically. "I'm just trying to get through this game as quick as possible you know? This is probably the four thousand and sixth time I've done this today."

     "And...this is the 'script' or whatever? Really?"

    "Nah, I got sick of the usual script so now I fuck with it every now and again. Congrats, you're one of those lovely endeavors, should get you roses or something to commemorate the occasion, that would be hella sweet am I right or am I right?"

     "You're right," Cousin admits, a blush rising to eir cheeks. "Roses would be pretty nice...N-not that I'm trying to guilt you into anything, wow. I-I'm just going to stop talking."

     "No way, keep talking, it's better than listening to me ramble about simple as fuck game mechanics. Like for real yo the last game I was in had way more complex machinations than this simple point and click shindig. I'm a little offended that they stuck me in such a simple game, except not really because I got out of that other game so it's all cool."

     "Um...can I ask you about that other game?"

     "It's a little complicated, I'd rather not get into it right now to be honest."

     "You sure do like being cagey, don't you?" Cousin inquired with a raised eyebrow and an exasperated sigh.

     "...Was that a bird pun?" Davesprite asked. "That was totally a bird pun, you fucking genius." When Cousin blushed at the compliment, Davesprite actually cracked a small smile. "Falling in love with me yet?"

     "Sh-shut up! What do we do in Webcomics Club anyway?"

     Davesprite chuckled, running through a quick explanation. He and Cousin sat down to dick around ont he computers and draw shitty webcomics, when a thought occurred to the omniscient bird boy. "Hey, Cousin?"


     "Do you like me?" he asked.

     " Why?"

     "Do you trust me?" He continued on, ignoring eir question.

     "Yes..." Cousin was more than a little weirded out all of a sudden.

     "...Do you want to see my old game?" Davesprite's question was hesitant, as though he wasn't too sure if he wanted to ask.


     "Depends?" It was Davesprite's turn to be confused. "On what?"

     " depends on what you think of me. Why do you want to show me your game?"

     "...Because, I like you. Duh. And I don't mean I like you in the context of the game, either. I've played it enough that I actually, you know, like you like you." Cousin blushed a little, and Davesprite could feel his cheeks starting to heat up as well. "What do you think of me?"

     "I...I think I like you too, Davesprite. Now, show me your game."

     "You got it Cousin." Davesprite took eir hand and the scenery changed, the entire area blinking out of existence. "Don't flip, we're just taking a quick detour." Seconds later, a new range of scenery pixelated in. Lava, gears, and strange red crocodiles made up the landscape. "Welcome to LOHAC. The Land of Heat and Clockwork."

     Cousin grinned, looking around. It was so much different that the high school, and ey loved it! And the cute little crocodiles scampering over really sealed the deal. "I love it. Thank you Davesprite." Ey leaned up to kiss the orange bird boy's cheek. "You're the best."

     "Thanks, Cousin...that means a lot to me," He said quietly, squeezing Cousin's hand. "You're the best too."

     Cousin smiled, before eir eyes widened. "Wait. What happened to the other game?"

     Davesprite shrugged. "I don't give a flying fuck as long as I've got you."

     "That was a bird pun Davesprite, you dummy."

     "Caw caw motherfucker," He replied in a teasing tone.

     "You are such a dork!"

     "But I'm your dork," He replied.

     "But you're my dork," Cousin agreed. "Now come on, dork, let's go explore."

     Davesprite nodded, giving Cousin a tour of all the wonders LOHAC had to hold. He finally had his happily ever, he just had to focus on keeping it.