Dreaming the Life Pornographic
Daniel threaded his fingers through the thick, short hair, holding the young man kneeling before him. His fatigue trousers were barely down over his hips but that didn’t deter the Airman as he dug his fingers into his buttocks. Daniel watched with fascinated pleasure as he moved his cock in and out of the wet mouth. His need rose higher as he moved effortlessly, loving the warm, slick feel of spit, the occasional grate of teeth, and the combination of warm moisture and cooling air. This was a rich indulgence that he sorely missed and damn, it felt good to have it again.
When the image shifted, Daniel wasn’t certain, but suddenly the airman’s face morphed into the faces of others. Jack’s face kept returning. Over and over. Daniel had wanted him for a long, long time. Fantasies upon fantasies filled his mind.
“I’ll have you yet, Jack,” he whispered, smiling as the man groaned, bringing back the face of the airman. Daniel didn’t care. He liked this face and what that mouth was doing for him.
Grabbing the man by the sides of his head, Daniel began to increase his rhythm, watching with an almost feral gaze as those lips became red and slick. “Yes, so good, yes.” Daniel held him firmly and thrust faster. His balls tightened up and he began to beg. “God, don’t you stop, just a little more, a little more.”
Jack’s face returned. “Yes, take it, baby, take my cock,” and Daniel thrust deeper, loving how Jack’s face turned red, how he simply took it, eyes closed…
“Hey, anyone home? I’m here to pick up my uniform!”
The man sucking him became the airman once again as Daniel’s fantasy was knocked back sharply by a knock on the door.
It was Jack!
“Fuck!” Daniel hissed as the airman pulled away.
Seconds blurred to minutes as the airman cleaned and straightened. Biting his red and swollen lips as if to hide them, he swiftly opened the door and moved quickly behind the racks of clothes ready for pick-up.
His back to the door, Daniel sighed with frustration and angrily closed up his trousers. When he exited the room and stepped out from behind the racks, Jack’s eyes widened. The knowledge as immediate as the shock.
“Daniel, what are you… are you insane?”
Daniel glared at him, narrowing his eyes, then began to step out from behind the counter. He pushed past Jack, hitting his shoulder in a show of alpha male bravado exactly like the one Jack had given him when he’d returned to Abydos.
“Not anymore,” Daniel said between grinding jaws.
“Hang on,” Jack said, grabbing his arm, making Daniel stop.
With a surge of anger, Daniel shoved Jack’s hand off. “Don’t grab at me.”
“What the hell were you doing?”
“What’s the matter? Afraid of a little competition?”
“What?” Jack began, caught off-guard. He seemed to recover quickly and lowered his voice to an angry hiss. “What’re you thinking? Doing that at the SGC?” He put on that scowl of disapproval Daniel hated.
His glare intensified as he snapped, “Fuck you, Jack. You get yours when you want, I’ll get mine.” He began to walk away again but Jack’s hand was back on his arm. Before Daniel had time to register it, he’d shoved Jack against the counter, fisting the front of his shirt. “Back off. You want to talk about it, you get your shit and follow me home.”
He turned on his heel, leaving a very angry Jack O’Neill in the laundry room. Without bothering to look, Daniel knew Jack would follow. A small voice somewhere in the back of his mind said, “Because you want him to.”
It was only a matter of seconds between the laundry facility and Daniel’s apartment, but he walked through the door and slammed it shut, knowing damn well that a second later, Jack would be there.
The pounding on the door came right after the thought. Daniel swung open the door, grabbed Jack by the collar and yanked him inside. Slamming the door shut, he threw Jack against the door.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jack yelled.
“What I’ve always wanted to do,” Daniel growled, his angry mouth closing over Jack’s, shoving his tongue inside. Jack moaned loudly in protest, but his hands were firm on his arms, his back, and then his ass, pulling Daniel against him.
The moment their groins met, Daniel released him and stumbled back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Did you think I’d wait forever for you?” he asked.
“I don’t need you,” Jack said, the lie obvious on his face.
“Sonofabitch,” Daniel spat, and palmed Jack’s groin roughly, feeling his erection. “What’s this then? Why’d you kiss me back?”
“God, you can’t stop lying to me, can you?” Daniel accused as he stepped back and ripped his own clothing off. Jack stood there, eyes widening, cock stiffening, and Daniel ordered, “Get those clothes off.” He turned and stalked toward the bedroom. “If you’re not behind me, I’ll come get your ass.”
Daniel was certain that he was going to fuck Jack as he’d always dreamed about doing, but the moment he reached the bed, he found himself shoved face down, pinned to the mattress as his legs were spread, a slicked, lubed hand sliding between his ass cheeks.
“No, it’s my turn!”
“I don’t think so,” came the rough voice behind him.
Daniel’s eyes were wide with shock and lust as Jack–was it Jack?–pressed his cock against his hole and pushed. Not hard, but firmly, in one long, slow stroke.
Daniel let out a yell of surprise as he was stuffed, the burn of it acute and good and goddamn, his cock was leaking. Lust and need filled him as he repeatedly whispered, “Yes.” He rubbed against the blanket, the fabric rough and good against his cock, and Daniel reached underneath to take hold, to stroke with Jack’s rhythmic thrusts.
As he built up a good counter-rhythm, Jack suddenly withdrew and Daniel screamed in anger. “No!”
But the protest died when he found their roles reversed. Jack was now on his stomach beneath him and Daniel’s cock poised to go inside. Without another thought, he growled, “Fuck yes,” and thrust inside a lot less gently than Jack had done.
Using hard, deep strokes, gasping at the way Jack’s body grabbed him, Daniel began to give in to what he’d wanted. Then the need to see Jack’s face began to distract him and before he was aware of it, the scenery changed again.
Without needing to look around, Daniel found them both in the gateroom at the SGC. Jack was lying on the metal grating behind the gate, his wrists spread apart, cuffed to bars welded onto the platform.
“Fuck yes, perfect,” Daniel whispered, more to himself than Jack.
He grinned ferally at his conquest and leaned down, grabbing Jack by his hair as the man wrapped his legs around his waist. Daniel pumped hard and fast, watching Jack grimace through his orgasm, grunting Daniel’s name over and over in harsh gasps.
When the stargate activated, Daniel cried out in a frenzy of joy and panic, spilling his seed inside that sweet, tight ass just as the wormhole engaged to engulf them…
. . . . .
Daniel bolted upright in bed, gasping harshly, his body soaked in sweat. Bringing up his knees, he leaned on them, hands scrubbing at his face as he struggled to calm the trembling in his body.
He’d been having erotic dreams for two months now and they were robbing him of sleep. He knew that sooner or later, the lack of sleep would mess with his mental state. Perhaps he should take the pills Janet had suggested for sleepless nights, but if Daniel was honest with himself, he didn’t want to. He wanted to keep having the dreams.
He’d been celibate for five years now and his mind was finally ready to accept the fact that he had to get back to having some sort of sex life. His mourning period was well over. Thoughts of Shau’re only brought a dull ache now.
What had replaced the pain of loss lately was not something Daniel was ashamed of, exactly, but he was getting a little weary of who showed up in his dreams. That was a path he could never go down. What had he done to compensate? Grab onto the forbidden as some sort of coping mechanism?
Growling at his thoughts, Daniel wrinkled his nose at the smell of his own semen. One hell of a coping mechanism, he thought sarcastically as he passed a hand over sticky fluid cooling on his skin. His body was still shaky from the afterglow as he rolled out of bed and padded to the bathroom, annoyed at how his dreams seemed to be giving him better orgasms than masturbation had lately.
“Why them?” he asked himself out loud, thinking of Jack, then of his best friend, Major Jason Coburn, leader of SG-2. Daniel had always felt attracted to them but it had been something easily kept at bay, like an acknowledgement and nothing more. Till now.
“They’re my friends, dammit,” he argued. There were lines you just didn’t cross. But the dreams… his subconscious had apparently decided otherwise and line-crossing was going on while he slept. A lot of line-crossing.
It had to be loneliness, he told himself. Had to be. The only cure for this was to get off his ass and find someone to sleep with. Have sex with. Fuck.
Except Daniel had never really cared for the ongoing litany of one-night stands. Once in a while, sure, but endless streams of faceless men weren’t his thing. He liked stability. Which wasn’t possible anymore, was it? He leaned against the sink, sighing heavy as the real reason for his frustration came home. It was safer to dream.
After becoming part of the SGC, Daniel could have easily fixed this loneliness, but he had no desire for the nurses or female civilians. While simply using them for sex felt wrong to him, it wasn’t that. He could make excuses to himself if really wanted to. What kept them all at arm’s length was the realization that his desire for women had gone. Shau’re was the last one. He couldn’t see another woman taking her place. Ever.
So. That left men. It had been a long time, but Daniel had never lost his desire for them. The problem was where he now worked and lived a great deal of the time. Daniel didn’t think he could risk someone else’s career, or life, to satisfy his own urges. That thought inevitably brought him to civilian men, but again, not at the SGC, where homophobia was a nastier piece of business than Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and not quite as silent.
Daniel knew from experience what certain Marines and others would do to him and his partner. The threat didn’t scare him so much as he simply couldn’t do that to whomever he was fucking. Or Jack and Jason, for that matter.
Daniel was left with one last solution and that was to go off-base. But that wasn’t a place he wanted to go. He’d be forced to lie to the one-night stands and what he wanted more than anything was at least a semblance of stability, even for a night. Lying would ruin it.
Wouldn’t it? Daniel hated lying, even when he had no choice; at the SGC, he felt backed into a corner and hated it. Lying-by-Order was reason enough to keep him from searching out companionship because it was as if he was forcing them to accept what he had to tolerate. Whether they knew the truth or not was irrelevant. He knew.
It was bad enough having to lie to people who were acquaintances and friends around his neighborhood and apartment complex. He was naturally a social animal, dammit. He made friends easily. But that was now a curse. Because of the secrecy of the program, he couldn’t tell the truth, share what he was doing.
Lying made a facade out of friendship and Daniel was so goddamn tired of the false fronts. Not that going to the clubs required any secret-sharing. He knew he could find what he needed there. But what if he met someone with whom he’d want more than just a one-time fuck?
More lies, his mind answered.
Thinking of the dreams, Daniel was more certain than ever that sooner or later, he’d be forced to shove aside his conscience so he could scratch the itch that drove him mad. Jerking off wasn’t working. He needed a partner and he damn well knew it.
Getting back into bed, he ordered his brain to let him sleep through the rest of the night. It didn’t comply.
. . . . .
He was in the shower again.
Daniel slid his soapy hands over slippery skin as he listened to the sounds in the locker room and shower: men joking, playing, relieving stress in non-sexual game playing. And Daniel wanted them. All of them.
Reaching down, he stroked his cock, wishing one of them would come into his stall and take over, fisting his dick till he came all over their fingers.
He stayed in the shower, waiting for the voices to fade, for the men to leave. When he felt it was safe, he returned to his locker, absently drying off, thinking of Jack, of Jason, wondering where they were.
As if on cue, he heard the sound of a locker opening. He moved around the locker island, wrapping his towel around his hips and found Jason facing away from him, drying off the front of his body. Daniel’s eyes were glued to his friend’s muscular, tanned body and it suddenly occurred to him that Jason must tan in the nude—although he didn’t need much of it, given his half-Native American blood.
His cock twitched with the warning of an erection just as Jason turned around and cleared his throat. Looking up, he saw Jason smiling coyly at him. When his best friend dropped his towel and came toward him, whispering hello in a way that made Daniel’s cock leak, Daniel forced himself to back up several steps.
Jason followed, like some undefined hunger in male form. Daniel swallowed and forced himself to stop moving, body screaming for this man coming toward him. Then Jason whispered a throaty hello and Daniel groaned and grabbed him by the back of the neck, pulling him in for a long kiss that turned the back of his knees to Jell-O.
Jason broke off, nuzzling him, then suddenly dropped to his knees and grabbed Daniel’s hips as he now nuzzled his cock. Barking out a shock of surprise, Daniel grabbed Jason’s shoulders and inhaled sharply as Jason’s warm breath sent shudders through his body.
“Jason, you’re my best friend.”
“How do you think the good relationships start, Daniel?” Jason murmured as he bent his head and licked at Daniel’s rapidly stiffening cock.
Daniel gasped, jerking his hips away, but Jason was quickly engulfing him. “Ohmygod!” he rasped, one part of his mind screaming, “No, you can’t!” while the other part of his mind argued that he could. His body agreed and before Daniel checked himself, he was thrusting between those beautiful lips, body trembling around the groans Jason made, the vibrations shooting straight to his balls. Daniel gave in as he closed his eyes and dropped his head back, wrapping his hands in Jason’s hair, mussing it as he enjoyed the pleasure given him.
Calls of encouragement shocked him into opening his eyes in alarm. Jason’s teammates stood behind him, yelling as if they were watching a sporting game. “Suck him! Suck him!” was the chant, quickly followed by, “Fuck him! Fuck him hard!”
Daniel clasped Jason’s hair harder, pumping his hips in reaction, alarmed and aroused by the cheering. The room suddenly altered, blurred, and his audience was increased. Men in the background were fucking and sucking, and all the while, others shouted at Daniel to get what he wanted.
When Jack spoke from behind him, Daniel jumped. His lips pressed seductively along the shell of his ear, tongue flicking outward, sending chills down his spine, and Daniel’s body began to thrum with need and desperation.
He closed his eyes, whispering, “Fuck me, Jack. Fuck me.”
But Jack was suddenly in Jason’s place, only he was jerking him off, not sucking him. “Come on, Daniel,” he cajoled, tightening his fist as he stroked him faster and faster. “Come in my face.”
Daniel’s legs wobbled and he tightened his fingers in Jack’s hair. “Oh god, Jack.”
Jack smiled and stuck his tongue out, licking circles around the pre-come that began seeping from Daniel’s cock. “Come on, give it up for me.”
The hungry, feral look in Jack’s eyes did Daniel in and he shouted, “Yes!” as come spurted into Jack’s face…
. . . . .
Daniel snapped open his eyes, body jarring with the impact of his orgasm. Groaning, he didn’t bother to get up and wash but instead resigned himself that his mind was bent on giving him a lesson he’d never forget. Falling back into an exhausted sleep, another scene engulfed his mind and body just before dawn, this one the most intense yet.
He was reading, standing before the bookshelf in his office. Jack was there, teasing and bothering him as he usually did.
Except this time, Daniel lost his resolve. In the back of his mind, he was ordering himself to take breaths and walk away or give a good snapping come-back in return. But his nerves were frayed and he was tired. In his bones, in his mind. He snapped the book shut and grabbed Jack about the neck, kissing him hard as he yanked opened his trousers and stuck his hand down his shorts. Jack’s cock felt so good, so… inevitable.
Then the air seemed to shimmer. Daniel paid no attention at first but wondered absently what was going on when Jack suddenly grabbed him and pushed him against the bookshelf, lifting his legs around his waist.
Daniel was naked, and so was Jack. His body was wet from sweat and exercise, the smell of perspiration thick in the air. Daniel felt a slight panic because the door was open but need and excitement overrode his caution as Jack pushed into his hole, breaching him quickly, efficiently.
He cried out in lust, experiencing once again how damned good it was. Jack fucked him hard and fast, making his body shudder with pleasure, but just as suddenly as it had started, Daniel found himself on the floor with Jack behind him, pounding into him, hands bruising his hips.
“God, yes,” he said, sight blurred as he focused on the open door, willing Jason to show up. When he looked over his shoulder to catch the look on Jack’s face, it wasn’t Jack.
At least, he couldn’t be sure. The man’s face was blurred as he fucked him with thick abandon. Daniel clutched at the cock inside him, trying to stop, but at that moment, his partner began to yank him back, the force jarring Daniel’s prostate. His arms and legs seemed to wither with pleasure-pain and Daniel gave into it.
He wondered if he should protest–he didn’t do strangers like this. But the man fucking him felt glorious, especially when he sped up. Daniel was getting what he wanted. He didn’t care who it was. It felt so fucking good.
Looking down at the concrete floor, the scene changed underneath his hands and he was suddenly at home, on his bed. The man behind him held him down by his shoulders while his hips rammed against him, fucking his ass incredibly hard. Daniel’s face was mashed into his pillow as he screamed with exquisite pleasure…
. . . . .
He awoke on his stomach, startled that his mind had brought him out of the dream without finishing him off. The muscles of his rectum contracted with the body memory filled with frustrated pleasure from the abrupt ending of the dream. Growling, Daniel blindly sought out the lube he’d bought the day before. Coating both hands, he grabbed his cock and reached down to shove two fingers in his ass.
Fucking himself and stroking quickly, he remembered the feel of the cock up his ass, thrusting, awakening every nerve. When he came, it was with Jack’s mouth around his cock and Jason’s cock up his ass.
Lying there, panting, trembling, waiting for his body to calm down, the guilt started to creep in and he rebelliously shoved it away. It wasn’t like they’d ever know.