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This Is What I Live For

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There was something a bit blasphemous about pinning Adam up against the chain-link fence behind Aglionby. It was dark and chilly, and Ronan could feel Adam trembling from the cool night air -- always so cold-natured -- as Ronan pinned him still with a leg between the two of Adam's.

 

Adam worshipped this school. Believed in it, that it would help get him to where he wanted to go. Here Adam was, pinned up against a cold and rattling chain-link fence by the boy he was enamored with and couldn't get enough of.

 

Ronan worshipped this school. He hated it, it reminded him of all of the things he used to be, of what he could no longer be, what he would never be able to become. He had first seen Adam here, though, and for that, he was grateful. He didn't believe in Aglionby. He didn't believe that it could offer him anything that he wanted, nothing that he couldn't provide for himself, except for Adam Parrish.

 

Ronan nibbled at the sensitive spot below Adam's ear and allowed his breath to gently pass over Adam's ear. This was the simplest and quickest way, Ronan had learned, to get Adam aroused, and Ronan could feel Adam melt against him at the sensation. Ronan wanted to devour him.

 

Adam went to slide his hands up underneath Ronan's sweatshirt, but Ronan swatted them away and guided them back to his sides.

 

"No touching," Ronan said quietly in a husky voice. Adam gave a tiny noise of disapproval from the back of his throat but did what he was told.

 

Ronan smiled to himself as he slowly wrapped his arms around Adam's waist and lowered his hands to rest on his ass, pulling him impossibly closer to his body.

 

"Are you cold, baby," Ronan whispered in a very low and seductive tone in Adam's ear. It wasn't a question, it was a tease.

 

Adam didn't like pet names, he thought they sounded ridiculous, and he always thought that they would sound even more ridiculous coming out of Ronan Lynch's mouth. But this, the way it sounded, the tone, the way it rolled off of Ronan's tongue… Adam found it hard to breathe.

 

Adam let out a slow, shuddering breath that he had hoped would be calming, but it only fed Ronan's ego. When Adam opened his mouth to let out a content but impatient breath, Ronan not-so-gently pressed his lips to Adam's as he firmly held both sides of his face. It was a game almost. How easily Ronan could take Adam's breath away, mesmerized by the fact that he could take Adam's breath away, that he was given this gift.

 

Ronan's thumbs smoothed over Adam's sharp jawline as he pulled his lips away. When he opened his eyes, he saw Adam's open a second later, and at that tiniest motion, as he watched Adam's long lashes flutter and lift, Ronan felt a strange urge to protect this boy from everything in the world.

 

Ronan stared into Adam's eyes for only a brief moment longer while his hands still cupped his face, and then he suddenly engulfed Adam in his muscular arms, one around his waist, and the other around his shoulders, and held him tightly. He needed him to be safe and whole and happy and here.

 

"I love you," Ronan whispered in Adam's good ear, surprisingly without a single trace of hesitation. Something about this night made Ronan drop all of his defenses without any question. Maybe it was being here at Aglionby. Maybe it did have special powers.

 

Adam tensed against Ronan but didn't back away. He could essentially hear the gears turning in Adam's head. Love? What? How do I know if what I'm feeling is love? How do I say it? How does Ronan know? Why me, though, I'm nothing special. Ronan knew Adam a lot better than he let on.

 

Ronan felt Adam relax against him then, a cognitive decision, which was pretty much Adam's first step to accepting it and maybe even returning it. Ronan, surprisingly, didn't mind at all. He didn't have any expectations, he only wanted Adam to know, and now his chest felt a million times lighter.

 

All previous heat now gone, which was pleasant and surprisingly not at all uncomfortable, Adam placed his face against Ronan's neck and breathed him in. Ronan thought he may have heard Adam offer his own muffled, barely audible I love you against his skin, but it was so delicate that Ronan couldn't be sure, but that was good enough for him.