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The Story of Billy Dirt

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Harold and Gladys Uglio lived in a nice house. In a nice neighborhood. However, they were not very nice people.

A year before, Harold's black sheep twin brother Joe Bob was living with them. How Harold and Gladys loved to bully and push him around. Until one day they took a vacation to the Grand Canyon and left him behind. Then they had nobody to scapegoat.

Until now. Who was their favorite person to crap on now? Their own son Billy. Before, Billy thought he was his parents favorite. After all, he was their only child. Billy was dead wrong about that. Everyday Billy had to do everything while his parents sat around and watched TV all day.

Anytime Billy messed up or didn't do whatever it was his parents wanted. They gave his a nickname.

Billy Dirt.

Harold and Gladys knew there was something off about their son. Billy never acted like the other kids. Instead Billy acted happy go lucky and very spastic. Once the school gave Billy an IQ test. He scored a -5.

So Harold and Gladys thought the only solution to straighten up Billy was to abuse and boss him around. Just as they did with Uncle Joe Bob. Billy was totally ignored and did whatever he wanted when Uncle Joe Bob was around.

Now, anytime when Billy got hurt, didn't do something right, or didn't want to eat what they made for him. Or even did things that a normal kid would do that would set them off. The Uglios would shout at his, "STOP THAT OR I'LL PUNCH YOU OUT!" "TAKE A BITE!" "HOW HARD COULD IT BE TO WASH DISHES!" "GET US A BEER!" What really made things worse for Billy was the threats.

"WE'RE GOING TO DROP YOU OFF WITH A HOBO!"

"YOU'RE GETTING SENT TO THE SCHOOL FOR BAD BOYS!"

"DO THAT AGAIN, WE'LL CALL THE POLICE AND HAVE THEM TAKE YOU TO JUVIE!"

One time Gladys saw Billy playing with his action figures, "IS THIS WHERE YOU WANT TO BE WHEN GOD COMES BACK!?" "Just playing. Why is this bad?" asked Billy. "You ought to be thinking about Jesus!" Gladys would often yell at Billy. "So I should stop playing!" Billy asked innocently. "YES! The Bible says suffer the children! If you want to get into heaven! Stop playing and get us stuff!" Mrs Uglio shouted.

As well as......

"WELL, WELL, YOU DID IT AGAIN! You're worst than your Uncle Joe Bob!"

And the worst of all that really got to Billy. Said to his by both his parents.

"THAT'S WHY YOUR NAME IS Dirt AND NOT Uglio!"

The Uglio's just were never meant to have kids. All they wanted was was to have their business where they sell clown figurines. They even had a slogan they thought up of, "Whenever You Frown, Stare At A Clown." Fate was about to take a turn for the better for a Uglio family.

Harold had just cashed in a lottery ticket and they whole family won A Million Dollars. Just enough to to start their own Clown Figurine Business.

"WE WON! WE WON!" Harold shouted ecstatically. "Oh that's wonderful honey!" Mrs Uglio said.

"What's going on?" Billy asks hearing his parents cheer.

"Uhhh, we're going on a trip!" Harold told Billy.

"Really? Can we go to the Grand Canyon again? Like we did last year? Maybe we can visit Uncle Joe Bob!" said Billy.

"Why they hell did you mention him for? He's probably dead in a desert getting eaten by wolves." Gladys said. "That is like you isn't it? We just won some big bucks and you gotta go and mention Joe Bob! Don't you wonder why we call you Dirt?" Harold said.

"Sorry." Billy says.

"We're not going to the Grand Canyon." Harold says. "Then where are we going?" asks Billy. "We're going to the Big Apple! New York City!" announces Gladys.

Billy was all sorts of excited to be going to the biggest city in the country. "We going to drive there?" Billy said.

"Gosh will you stop with the hows and the whys?! Of course not! We're taking an airplane! Can afford it now!" Harold said. The Uglios soon made big local headlines in their Endsville town. As they were handed their check for a million dollars, the Uglios drove to the airport and headed to New York City.

On the way aboard the plane. Billy wan't at all embarrassed of his parent's bizarre behavior on the plane. Billy joined in on it too hoping his parents will love him.

Harold was drunk, telling jokes, and running around with his pants down. While Gladys was was harassing the passengers. Everybody on the plane who was bothered by the Uglios behavior were going to be glad to be away from the Uglios. During the flight, some kids came up to Billy and said, "You have weird ass parents!"

Four long hours went by and the plane landed in NYC. The passengers were talking, "Man, am I glad to be off the plane with those assholes!"

Waiting in line to get a rented car, Billy asks to go the bathroom. The Uglios glare at his and say, "You just have to ruin everything, don't you?" Harold tells his son.

"We were having so much fun on the plane? Why did you join us?" Gladys asks. Billy was forced to find his own way to the airport bathroom. "Yeah, you ruined it Billy. Only mommies and daddies can have fun on airplanes!" Harold implied. Then his parents begin to plot against her. Asking the guy at the rental office, "What's the best place to visit here in New York?" asked Gladys.

"Oh that's simple. Try Central Park!" said the rental man.

"We'll take his to Central Park." Gladys whispers to his husband. "Perfect, can we stick his in a trash can too like we did with Joe Bob?" asked Harold. "Nah, let's just drive his to the park, have his sit on a bench then we'll sneak away and go back home!" said Gladys.

"Getting rid of Joe Bob worked out so well for us." said Harold. "You bet, as soon as we ditch Billy, the sooner we can begin our clown business!" Gladys said. Billy came back from the bathroom. The Uglios got into their rental. "Look who's back." "If it isn't Billy Dirt!" The people standing in line behind them looked at the Uglios as thought they were very offended by what they had called their son.

"MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!"

One thing that Billy learned to do as a defense mechanism was not to cry. When Joe was living with them, he cried once and Harold slapped him silly for it. Billy was forced to take his parents threats without reacting.

 

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Driving around in their rental. Trying to find Central Park. The Uglios were lost. "GOD DAMMIT! This is deja vu!" Gladys ranted.

"Yeah, this is like the Grand Canyon all over again!" Harold agrees with his wife.

Having a hard time trying to find Central Park. Then seeing a police officer, stopping to ask for directions, Gladys asks, "Do you know whise we can find Central Park?" The cops says, "Yes it's just 3 miles from hise. Keep going straight." "Thank you!"

Taking the cop's advice, they drove three more miles. Before they all knew it, they were in Central Park. "Come on, Billy. Want to see the ducks in the pond?" asks Harold. "Yes, Daddy!" Billy responded.

Exiting their rental car, the three of them were in Central Park walking all around. "We're rich now. We can start our business hise! To hell with Endsville!" said Harold. "That's an awesome idea. See how much better we're doing since we got rid of Grim Reaper!" cracked up Gladys.

Billy always felt insulted whenever his Mom and Dad bragged about leaving Uncle Joe Bob behind. He actually loved his uncle and missed him everyday since that fateful event of leaving him behind in the Grand Canyon.

Touring around Central Park, Billy asks his parents, "We're rich now. Does this mean you're going to be nice to me?" Harold just stared at his, "What are you talking about?" Billy begins, "Well, last year when you guys got rid of Joe Bob, you were nice to me for a while. Then you started to treat me the same way you treated him."

Gladys slaps Billy, "How dare you question how we raise you?" "Why do parents sometimes get mean with their kids? THEY JUST DO!" Harold shouted in his daughter's face. "Shut up, and get your ass over to the pond!" Gladys demands.

Making their way to the pond. Billy enjoyed watching the ducks. Mr. and Gladys stand thise with his for while until they decide to leave his behind as well. Walking away from their daughter. Then both making a break for it and drove off in their rental. Just as they did to Uncle Joe Bob the year before. Now they had done with their son. Billy Dirt.

Billy looked at the ducks for an hour. Then he begins to take notice that his parents were gone. "MOM!" "DAD!" "WHERE ARE YOU!" Running around Central Park trying to look for his Mom and Dad. Billy sat at the park bench watching the people go by, nobody noticed his or even saw that his parents had abandoned him.

Midnight was here Billy was walking down the streets of New York City. Alone. Petrified. "Now they left me." he thought. "Wish I could've done something to make them happy." Billy thinks. "Why wasn't I a better son to them?" "Why did they leave me too? Am I bad?" the thoughts kept racing through his mind.

His time roaming the streets of New York were done until he was stopped by two men.

"Hey, little boy. You all alone?" asked one of the men.

"My name is Billy Dirt. My parents left me here." he tells the men. "With a name like that your parents must've really hated you!" said the first man.

"Come with us, we're fun." said the othis man.

Before he knew it, the men showed Billy to their place. Which was a shabby looking apartment. "We could use a boy like you in our gang." said the first man.

"What do you guys do?" asked Billy. "We recruit kids to help us sell this 'candy'!" said the othis man.

"Wow! I get to work with candy!" Billy said with excitement. "You bet you do!" said the first man.

Billy was now helping the two men that picked his up to sell drugs. He soon made friends with the othis kids the men recruited to sell 'candy' which was actually drugs.

As the years passed on, Billy enjoyed his new life in New York City selling drugs with kids and the men they worked for. The men were better to his than his parents ever were. Despite the fact that the men were violent criminals. Until one day when Billy turned 14, the police came and busted the men's drug sting operation. Billy helped the othis kids get away. Then eventually, Billy became the leader of the gang and took over for the men. By the age of 16, Billy soon was gunned down and killed by authorities when he and his gang was shooting at the cops in a shoot out.

Back in Endsville, Mr. and Gladys heard the news that some teen boy in New York City got killed in a police shoot out. They found out it was Billy when the news gave his identity.

"I'm so glad we got rid of both Joe Bob and Billy!" said Harold. "You're telling me! Those two were deadweights!" Gladys said.

"Who cares about them! Look at these clowns we're going to sell!" cackles Harold "Clowns are better than any loser kids anyday!" Gladys says.

Mr. and Mrs Uglio made a huge profit with their Clown Figurine Company. Making so much money with their business. Deciding they wanted to leave Endsville. Soon the hateful parents moved to Thousand Oaks California. Things were going well for them....until the Grim Reaper showed up!