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All Bark, No Bite

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On the afternoon before their Halloween party, Jungkook found himself sitting at the table in the kitchen of his two-bedroom apartment with his roommates, Taehyung and Yoongi. He was using white icing to draw ghosts onto the pumpkin spice cookies that Taehyung had spent most of the morning baking, getting them right only on the second try. Which was fine because the first batch was only half-burnt and passed for a decent snack paired with milk. 

Across the table, Yoongi cut a face into a pumpkin, a box of five already carved ones placed on the floor by his feet. He hummed along to the song playing from Kooky’s Spooky Extravaganza playlist while his boyfriend, Taehyung, cooked up a storm behind them, mumbling under his breath and cursing out loud every now and then.

Jungkook knew better than to try and help Taehyung when he was worked up like this, and judging by Yoongi’s feigned obliviousness to the ruckus beside him, he was on the same wavelength. Taehyung, bless his soul, put too much effort and heart into every festive season, with Halloween easily falling into his top three. 

Thus, every year since Jungkook had moved in with him three falls ago, Taehyung planned ‘the best Halloween party they had ever experienced’ and upped the ante every time. Yoongi had started dating him about eighteen months ago and had only been part of the madness once before - though not as involved as he was now since he had just started living with them a few months ago.

“Hyung,” Taehyung called over his shoulder, “how long are the pumpkins you put in the oven going to take? I want to get started on the pumpkin and onion quiche soon and I need, like, two cups of cubed pumpkin for that.”

“They’re right behind you, honey,” Yoongi replied without looking up. Taehyung turned around, and sure enough, there were two giant baking trays of chopped pumpkin pieces on the table in front of him. They had been sitting there for about twenty minutes now, and the fact that Taehyung had somehow completely missed Yoongi taking them out wasn’t surprising at all.

“Oh, thanks hyung,” he breathed out, eyeing the XL-sized dishes as if he was regretting all his life choices.

Last night, disgruntled by his roommates’ inability to match his enthusiasm about the party, Taehyung had announced he wouldn’t be needing their help in any of the preparations, thank you very much! 

Then of course, after he spent the entire morning hand-making cobwebs and small candlelit ghost lanterns that were, without a doubt, fire hazards, he caved and begged for their help in a panic. 

He had Yoongi run out to buy groceries and alcohol at 12 PM, and had pulled a reluctant Jungkook out of bed at 2 to help him decorate cupcakes and cookies (with a promise of feeding him) when Yoongi still hadn't returned. Apparently, it had taken him trips to three different stores before he finally found a place that still had pumpkins, and in his triumph, had purchased twice as many pumpkins than they needed.

They had carved and cooked over half a dozen of them, but still, they were sadly going to be eating pumpkins for the next week. Jungkook already felt a little nauseated by the thought. 

“Hyung,” Taehyung whined after a moment of silence. “Do you think you could take over, please? I’m, like, light-headed from the heat and my phone keeps buzzing and I swear to god if it’s Jimin texting me about changing his damn costume one more time-“

“Hey, hey, hey,” Yoongi stood up at once, putting his knife down and taking quick strides towards Taehyung before grabbing his sweaty face and kissing him on the mouth. “Take a breath, Tae, we’ve got this. I’m pretty much done with carving, so why don’t you sit down and let me make the quiche.”

“And the cheese boat.”

“And the cheese boat,” Yoongi agreed without a pause. 

“And the soup and the dip and maybe the-“

Yoongi cut Taehyung off by putting his hands on his face and kissing him again.

“No,” he told him resolutely. Jungkook snorted. 

“You’re getting pumpkin juice on my face, hyung-“ Taehyung started mumbling, and then cut himself off to exclaim, “Wait, we should make pumpkin juice! It’s like fifty-percent apple cider anyway, so-“

“Taehyung, for the love of god, sit down and stop coming up with more things to do,” Yoongi told him sternly. “I’m cutting you off. No more ideas.” Yoongi pressed Taehyung's cheeks together until his lips were pushed into a comical pout. 

“Okay,” Taehyung responded, words muffled. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I love you.” 

“Good. I love you too,” Yoongi said, releasing and kissing his boyfriend’s face once more for good measure. He then wiped the mixture of sweat and pumpkin juice onto Taehyung’s shirt, who only huffed in protest half-heartedly.

Jungkook rolled his eyes before returning to his cookies, stifling a yawn into his elbow. He was now using black and pink icing with a thin tip to draw the eyes and mouth of the ghosts, going for a Boo from Super Mario aesthetic. 

“I’ll let you get to the quiche and cheese boat then,” he heard Taehyung say as he sat down on the chair opposite him. “And then the soup. I’ll do the dip myself.”

“Sounds good, babe,” Yoongi sighed, giving away how not good he really found the arrangement to be. It was quite ironic in Jungkook’s opinion, given that Yoongi was the best cook out of the three of them, and probably should have been in charge of cooking from the beginning.

A momentary silence fell on the kitchen, the beginning notes of Main Titles from Beetlejuice filling the room before Taehyung spoke again. 

“Jimin says he has finally settled on Cher from Clueless for his costume,” he read off his phone. “A few people texted me saying they’re looking forward to the party. And… oh. Huh. You know my friend Seokjin-hyung from my film class? He’s asking if he can come early and help us set up because he’s in the neighborhood and it'll take too long for him to go home and come back for the party later. What should I say?”

“It’s your decision, babe,” Yoongi answered distractedly as he went about cracking eggs into a bowl. 

“Say yes, god knows we can use the help,” Jungkook advised, thinking of the cupcakes Taehyung wanted him to decorate as spiders, cauldrons and ‘just come up with some spooky things yourself and stop bothering me.’

Taehyung always went overboard, and they always humored him like absolute morons. Jungkook didn’t even want to ask how much Taehyung was spending on this party.

“True,” Yoongi added. “Ask him if he can cook.” 

“Okay, I’ll ask.” Taehyung started tapping on his phone. “Should I also ask him if he’s in a costume? I already told him that costumes are mandatory but maybe he forgot…”

“Hyung, it’s kinda unfair to hold your guests up to a standard when your own boyfriend doesn’t have a costume,” Jungkook joked. Yoongi, whose back was turned towards them, froze mid-whisking. 

“What are you talking about? Yoongi-hyung ordered his costume months ago with me.”

Jungkook pressed his lips together to stifle his laughter, and Taehyung’s eyes widened. 


Yoongi sighed and turned around, his shoulders drooping. 

“Okay, look, don’t get mad but… my credit card was already maxed out that day because I had just bought my MIDI controller, so the costume website cancelled my order. I meant to order it again but I kept forgetting to.”

Taehyung’s mouth hung wide open, his eyes glistening in response to the betrayal. 

“And…” Jungkook prompted Yoongi, who glared at him murderously.

“Do you want to die, you little shit?”

“And what?” Taehyung forced out, his voice surprisingly level for how devastated he looked. 

“And, I just didn’t want to spend like 200,000 won on a fursuit, okay?”

“It was not a fursuit! It was a Cheshire Cat costume!”

“Tae, honey, it was a fursuit.”

“It was a fursuit,” Jungkook echoed.

“Oh my god, this is going to be the worst Halloween ever,” Taehyung groaned into his hands. His phone buzzed against his forehead, and he peeked at the screen with one eye. “Seokjin-hyung says he’s a great chef and he’s already in costume because his work required him to dress up. Great then,” Taehyung sighed dramatically. “Only my boyfriend will be costume-less and we’ll be the saddest ensemble of Alice in Wonderland since Wonderland on Broadway. Maybe even worse than my middle school production that ended with Choi Hanjoon throwing up on stage twice.”

“To be fair, my White Rabbit costume was pretty sad to begin with,” Jungkook added. “I only have the bunny ears.”

“And whose goddamn fault is that?” Taehyung snapped. At the same moment, Yoongi exclaimed: “That’s it, cat ears!”

“What?” Both the younger boys turned their heads to look at Yoongi in question.

“I can just wear cat ears? We’ll call it a minimalist costume! It’ll make your Mad Hatter suit stand out more.”

Taehyung only pouted in response. 

“Jungkook-ah, you’re almost done here, right? Please go out and get your hyung a headband,” Yoongi begged. “I’m kind of swamped here.”

Taehyung at least had the shame to look a little guilty while he pointedly ignored them and texted on his phone.

“I’m not even halfway d-” Jungkook started, but cut himself off at the way Yoongi narrowed his eyes at him. “Of course, hyung. Let me wash my face and change out of my sweats first though.”

“Good,” Yoongi nodded, turning back to start adding spices to his eggs.

Jungkook sighed exaggeratedly before putting down his cookie and piping bag on the table. He stood up and stretched, purposefully making his back pop to annoy Yoongi, and was about to head into his room when Taehyung spoke again.

“Seokjin-hyung said he’ll be here in half an hour. He also requested that we make sure there’s no stray garlic lying around the kitchen because he’s allergic.”

Yoongi paused. He had been in the middle of adding a third teaspoon of granulated garlic to the bowl. “Well, looks like he’s not having the quiche then.”

“Wait, what?” Jungkook asked, turning back around. “Allergic to garlic? I’ve never heard of that before. Are you sure he’s not just a vampire?”

Taehyung laughed. “You know what, maybe he is. He sure fits the disarmingly handsome criteria.”

“Does he now,” Yoongi deadpanned, but Taehyung ignored him. 

“No, seriously though hyung, are you friends with a vampire?”

“I can’t tell if you’re joking or not, Kookie,” Taehyung considered him warily.

“Of course he’s joking,” Yoongi snorted while Jungkook replied: “I’m a hundred-percent serious.”

Yoongi looked over his shoulder to raise his eyebrow at the younger boy. “You’re a weird kid, sometimes.”

“What! It’s things-that-go-bump-in-the-night season. The least we could do is open our minds to the supernatural.”

“Are you high or just taking the piss? Never mind, I don’t want to know, just don’t drive my car.”

Jungkook scoffed indignantly. “You’re so mean. Fine, I’ll take the bus. And I’ll get you the stupidest glittery cat ears I can find. Also, I better not find out you two were busy fucking on the table while making me do your bidding like some errand boy.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Taehyung rolled his eyes. “We wouldn’t fuck on this table, we eat here. We prefer having sex in the living room while you’re out anyway.”

“On the couch?! That’s shared furniture, you can’t-!” Jungkook cut himself off in horror. “You’ve… you haven’t fucked on my bean bag, have you?”

Taehying gave Jungkook an innocent smile. Yoongi coughed. 

“Ew! Oh my god, I use that daily. How can that even be a convenient position?”


“I don’t actually want to hear it, god. You two are the worst.”

“Jungkook, just go buy the ears. You’re wasting time. Also we need jello mix, thanks.”

“The absolute worst,” Jungkook repeated emphatically before stomping away, leaving his roommates snickering behind him. 




It wasn’t until Jungkook was on the bus that he remembered what Taehyung had said about his friend. 

Giving into his curiosity, Jungkook looked up ways to confirm if a person was hiding the fact that they were a vampire on Naver, and settled on an article titled How to Know if Someone is a Vampire. It started with a disclaimer about how this blog was not a joke and was meant solely for humans who were brave enough to explore the beyond, which well, if the shoe fits. 

The article had a list of ways of identifying a vampire, such as taking them out in direct sunlight or seeing where they live to check if it was dark, muggy, and furnished with a coffin. Neither of those ideas were viable for testing on Taehyung’s friend tonight, so Jungkook copied a few other options that did seem doable into the Notes app on his phone with a strange sense of purpose. 

Once he was done, he had a moment of clarity and thought, Pull yourself together, Jeon Jungkook. A vampire? Surely there are better things you can fixate on tonight.

But then again, it was Halloween, and he owed the child in him this suspension of disbelief for a night. Plus, the adult in him would get to indulge in a lot of alcohol as well. There was no way he was doing this sober. 

It was a win-win situation.

Both of those factors combined to motivate him into pursuing his one-night career as a vampire hunter, and Jungkook decided he was going to do a damn good job of it! Well, as soon as he finished buying jello mix and kitten ears for Yoongi, who he desperately hoped was not having sex with Taehyung on his bean bag again.

He definitely needed new roommates.




By the time Jungkook returned home, Yoongi was blending pumpkin soup, Taehyung was spreading guacamole into a shoddy steel bucket (that he had hopefully washed thoroughly before use), and a stranger was sitting in Jungkook’s chair, applying a generous layer of orange frosting on top of a cupcake with the utmost concentration.

“Uh, hi,” Jungkook mumbled, toeing off his boots by the door before approaching the men in the kitchen.

“Welcome back,” Taehyung replied without looking up.

“About damn time, little one,” Yoongi grunted as he glanced back for a moment.

“Hello, I’m Kim Seokjin,” Kim Seokjin introduced himself, looking up at Jungkook with a wide, toothless smile and- holy mother of god.


At least, that’s what Jungkook’s brain screamed at him even though there were no obvious signs in front of him such as red eyes, fangs or deathly pale skin. Only a face so unnervingly handsome and as delicate as porcelain that it had to be centuries old. 

Jungkook stared at Seokjin dumbly, eyes as wide as the chasms of hell this vampire had presumably crawled out of. Seokjin’s smile slightly wavered at the lack of response. Beside him, Taehyung looked up due to the awkward pause and tutted at the scene before him.

“Don’t mind him hyung, we’re pretty sure he’s high.”

“I’m not!” Jungkook protested before turning to face Seokjin but not quite meeting his eyes. “Nice to meet you, I’m Jeon Jungkook,” he bowed his head stiffly before shoving the plastic bag in his hand towards Taehyung and making a beeline for his room.

Once inside, he slumped against his shut door. 

“Holy shit,” he whispered to himself. Taehyung’s friend Kim Seokjin was actually a vampire. Jungkook had no evidence yet, but he was at least ninety-percent sure. No common human being could look that beautiful. It had to be a supernatural creature who looked this way only so he could lure in lustful prey.

I see through you, Kim Seokjin, Jungkook thought. I am going to prove that you’re a vampire with the help of the trusty list I found on the blog called Befriending Creatures from the Beyond.

But first, he needed to shower and look less like an unkempt bumpkin. After all, he was up against an ethereal yet lethal being. The least Jungkook could do was wear a translucent black shirt and distract the vampire with his pecs while he prodded him for a crack in his façade. 

And so that’s when he did, taking long enough to get ready that when he re-entered the kitchen-slash-living room area, Jimin and Namjoon had arrived as well. 

Namjoon, dressed as Sherlock (because of course he was), stood on a stool in the opposite side of the room with Seokjin, hanging up cobwebs and paper bats on the walls and ceilings while conversing. Taehyung was presumably in his bedroom, changing into his costume, and Yoongi was perched on the counter impatiently as Jimin used eyeliner to draw whiskers on his face.

“Wow, you look… not like Cher,” Jungkook observed as he sidled up close to the men in the kitchen. Jimin, instead of wearing the Clueless outfit as Jungkook had expected, was dressed in a black tank top and a red leather skirt. The only Cher Horowitz-like aspect was his bleached blonde hair.

“Hello to you too, Jungkook,” Jimin hummed, moving the point of his pencil to Yoongi’s nose so he could draw a small heart on the tip and fill it in. “All done,” he told Yoongi, who scrunched his now black-tipped nose. He thanked Jimin and then headed towards his bedroom to presumably check on Taehyung.

As Yoongi retreated, Jimin turned to face Jungkook and gave him a once-over with a smirk. “Weren’t you supposed to be the White Rabbit? I can see your tits.” 

Originally, Jungkook was going to wear a white shirt, white shorts, and finish it off with a blazer, but something motivated him to wear an all-black outfit instead consisting of a mesh top, skinny jeans and loose cardigan. 

“I am the White Rabbit. Just an emo, homoerotic version,” Jungkook preened, patting the top of his white and pink bunny ears for emphasis. “Plus I can see your nipples too. What are you supposed to be?”

“Well,” Jimin started, “Turns out my sister doesn’t just have the Clueless outfit lying around - preposterous, right? Anyway, she had this skirt and I figured-” 

Pausing dramatically, Jimin bent down to reach into his long-heeled boots and pulled out a wooden stake. He then straightened up and held the weapon over his head, poised to strike.

“You’re Buffy! I love it,” Jungkook gushed, and then his eyes widened. “No, that’s actually perfect, a vampire slayer! Have you told the others what you’re dressed as? How did Taehyung’s friend respond?”

“Who, Seokjin-hyung?” Jimin asked. “He thought I looked hot. He said, and I quote, ‘if looks could kill.’”

“Walked right into that one, didn’t he,” Jungkook grinned to himself. Jimin gave him a confused look before rolling his eyes, deciding he didn’t want to ask. He offered to draw Jungkook’s whiskers instead, which Jungkook distractedly accepted.

If Seokjin was being this careless with dropping hints, Jungkook didn't have to try that hard to expose him. He might not even need to do some of the more extreme things on his list.

Once Jimin released him, Jungkook decided to start on the most basic option from his list. Thus, the night truly began.


  1. Pay attention to their reaction at the mention of vampires


His task was simple. After downing two shots of tequila with Jimin, Jungkook sauntered over to where Namjoon and Seokjin were now putting the thematic decorations on and around their front door. He offered the two shot glasses in his hands to the preoccupied men as a ruse to infiltrate their conversation, and they both accepted and emptied the shots enthusiastically.

"Namjoon-hyung," Jungkook put on an affected accent. "You're looking quite dapper, if I do say so myself, old chap."

Grimacing at his shot glass, Namjoon responded, "At least I put effort into my costume, Kookie. Didn't you wear this exact same thing when you went clubbing with Jimin three weeks ago?"

"Hey, if you're implying that going to the gym four times a week isn't effort, you really ought to join me for a workout one of these days. Give those spaghetti arms a little life. You know Jimin would appreciate it."

"Fucking hell," Namjoon mumbled, shaking his head and adjusting the deerstalker resting on top of it. "I need more alcohol for this. Do you guys want me to bring you another shot? Yes? Okay, be right back."

Namjoon handed Jungkook a roll of double-sided tape and left with his and Seokjin's empty shot glasses, heading to the kitchen where Jimin was adding water to some cheap strawberry-flavoured jello mix.

Jungkook turned his gaze to Seokjin, who was smiling at him politely.

"So, Seokjin-ssi-"

"Oh, you can call me hyung."

"-Seokjin-hyung," Jungkook amended. "So, you're dressed as a doctor, huh? That's funny, I get it." Because doctors are supposed to help people and keep them alive, not exsanguinate them for sport.

Jungkook kept that part to himself, revelling in the puzzled yet still polite smile that stretched across Seokjin's face. The game was on.

"Thanks, I guess," Seokjin said. "Could you pass me some tape?" he asked, holding up a stack of paper bats in explanation.

"Oh, of course," Jungkook replied, tearing off a piece and handing it to the man who then proceeded to stick a cutout on the corner of the doorframe. They fell into a silence as they taped more decorations onto the wall, the Addams Family Theme playing behind them from Yoongi's giant speakers while Jungkook wondered how to guide the conversation onto the topic of vampires.

A loud laugh from the kitchen distracted them a few minutes later, and they turned to find Namjoon and Jimin giggling together as Jimin upended a whole bottle of vodka into the jello mix.

"Are those two together?" Seokjin asked curiously, and Jungkook snorted.

"God, if only. Observe," Jungkook leaned in close to Seokjin so he could whisper to him in a dramatized manner. He could smell Seokjin's sharp aftershave, and took a fraction of a second to mentally appreciate it before continuing. "Here we have Namjoon, leaning in to say something clever to Jimin. Now watch how Jimin throws his head back in laughter while Namjoon watches him with stars in his eyes. And oh! Here comes the arm slap. Jimin can get a little physically expressive. And there," Jungkook nodded towards Namjoon who was now blushing and pulling away.

They watched as Namjoon awkwardly mumbled something and moved to the other side of the kitchen to grab the bottle of tequila. Jimin watched his back for a second with a mixture of curiosity and longing, before shaking his head and going back to making jello shots.

"Wow," Seokjin chuckled, still looking at Namjoon as he poured the spirit into full-sized solo cups.

"I know right. This has been going on for months," Jungkook complained. At that moment, Namjoon turned around and started towards them, making them jump and hastily resume hanging up decorations.

"So, are you a film major as well?" Jungkook chirped as Namjoon reached the door, and Seokjin nodded fervently.

"Yes, I was actually just telling Namjoon about the Japanese Horror class I'm taking this semester."

"Here you go," Namjoon said sullenly, thrusting two solo cups that were half-full towards them.

"Hyung, this is like three shots," Jungkook noted as he accepted a glass and Seokjin did the same.

"Is it now," Namjoon deadpanned and gulped down his drink in a go while the other two watched him wide-eyed.

"So... Japanese horror you said?" Jungkook turned back to Seokjin, who looked like he was doing his best to not stare at Namjoon. "Are you into ghosts and other supernatural things?"

"Yeah, definitely, I think-" 

"What are your thoughts on vampires?" Jungkook cut him off unsubtly.

Seokjin looked astounded for a second, but then put on an innocent smile, though Jungkook did not miss the way his eyes definitely sharpened ever so slightly. A thrill-induced shiver ran down Jungkook's spine, even though he felt a little intimidated.

"The sparkly kind or living in a coffin and smelling like death kind?" he humored Jungkook.

"Either," Jungkook answered eagerly.

"Well I think they’re the sole spreaders of HIV."

Jungkook was staggered. "What?"

Seokjin chuckled, "Y'know, biting one neck after the other," he said in a playful tone.

"I... saliva would clean their teeth though right? And I know for a fact that HIV doesn't transmit through saliva. It's like sterile or something."

Namjoon looked up in exasperation. "Who told you that? Saliva has like a million bacteria."

"But isn't licking wounds a thing?"

"A very bad thing," Namjoon corrected Jungkook with an eye roll.

”But like, dogs and wolves do it,” Jungkook countered.

”Are you a dog or wolf, Jungkook?”

Jungkook pointed at the ears on top of his head incredulously. “I’m bunny, hyung. I thought you were supposed to be smart.”

Namjoon looked like he was biting his tongue, simply shaking his head in response.

"So I'm right then, they can spread HIV," Seokjin concluded triumphantly.

Namjoon looked pained. "Both of you should take a biology course before you graduate. Seriously."

Jungkook opened his mouth to steer the conversation back to vampires, but right at that moment, Taehyung peeked his head out of his bedroom and called him over. Reluctantly, he excused himself, both annoyed at Seokjin distracting him from his goal and the smug look that shone on his face when he told Jungkook they should continue this conversation later. It was evident from the gesture that Seokjin was confident that he wasn't going to let any information slip in dialogue.

Fine, Jungkook thought as he walked to Taeyung and Yoongi's bedroom, drinking from his cup.

This was only the first step. He still had a few moves up his sleeve.




Taehyung forced his roommates to take pictures of their (somewhat) matching costumes for a few minutes before they finally exited the bedroom. The music was now turned up louder and a few of their neighbours had arrived.

Despite the fact that Yoongi had finished most of what was in Jungkook's cup while they took pictures, he announced he was going to get another drink and Jungkook tagged along when he noticed that Seokjin and Namjoon were also in the kitchen. Meanwhile, Taehyung joined Jimin where he was talking to the other people in the living room.

"Guys, did you know Seokjin-hyung is allergic to garlic?" Namjoon gushed, slurring slightly. "That's so wild. I can't imagine how you eat out, almost all Korean dishes have garlic in them!"

"Eh, it's not too bad," Seokjin shrugged. "Most places are accommodating. And I only have a mild allergy that gives me a skin rash, so sometimes I just take an antihistamine and hope for the best. I just forgot to bring any along today, that's all."

"I mean, we have some Cetirizine if you want," Jungkook offered, fully expecting Seokjin to say no. Which he did.

"Oh that's alright, I already ate. We were just talking about how amazing all this food looks though! You all worked so hard."

Yoongi gave Seokjin a tight, awkward smile characteristic of him whenever complimented. "Thanks. I did make the cheese boat and pumpkin soup garlic-free though, so do have some," Yoongi urged him tiredly, evidently already drained from the shopping, carving and cooking he had done earlier. Jungkook doubted he was looking forward to socializing at the party, but when it came to Taehyung, there was little Yoongi could say no to.

"Oh, that's so nice, you didn't have to! I wish I hadn't already eaten," Seokjin lamented, and Jungkook wondered exactly who the vampire had snacked on before the party.

Yoongi silently nodded and started talking to Namjoon about a music project they had been working on together, so Jungkook joined Seokjin at the table with a highball in his hand. It was time for the second step from his list.


  1. Try to see their fangs


"Don't mind him, he's just tired from all the preparations he's had to do today."

"That's understandable, this is the most elaborate food spread I've seen at a party," Seokjin gestured at the dishes on the counters behind them. "If you don't mind me asking, why do you go all out? Most people are content with just providing a space and asking friends to bring their own booze."

Jungkook sighed. "A lot of my mental energy goes into not asking that question every damn year. Although... Yoongi-hyung told me last month that he thinks it’s because Taehyung-hyung’s dad used to do the same when he was a kid. Like, throw parties and cook enough food to feed their whole neighbourhood. Something about a sense of community belonging. This is Taehyung-hyung’s way of honoring him, perhaps.”

“Oh," Seokjin nodded in understanding.

”Yeah, he's just trying to keep the hospitality alive, I guess," Jungkook paused, struck with an idea. “His father is dead is what I'm implying, obviously."

"Yeah, I, uh, I got that," Seokjin replied, bewildered. "That's very unfortunate."

Jungkook hummed loudly, leaning in. "It is. Speaking of: do you have any living relatives? Or did you lose them years and decades ago? Maybe even centuries.”

Seokjin gaped at Jungkook, before clearing his throat. "What? I don't not- I mean, I have two siblings. My parents are alive too. They live in Gwacheon. I see them every other week."

Jungkook huffed and leaned back. "That's great."

Rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, Seokjin asked, "What about you, do you have any family around?"

"I'm an only child," Jungkook lied absently. "From Busan. Do you want to play a game?"

"Um, sure."

"Great! Show me your teeth."

"That's a weird request. What kind of a game is this?"

"A very fun one," Jungkook was getting impatient. "It's not a weird request, just go eeeee," Jungkook flashed his own teeth to Seokjin.

"Um," Seokjin responded eloquently.

"Hyung, it's perfectly normal," Jungkook explained. "Look," he turned his head and called out to Yoongi on a whim, who looked up curiously. "Yoongi-hyung, show me your teeth!"

"Huh?" Yoongi asked. "Oh, okay." He stretched his lips over his teeth obediently. Jungkook thanked his stars that Yoongi was amazingly compliant to his roommates' weird requests.


"You're welcome, little guy," Yoongi chuckled with an eye roll before turning back to a laughing Namjoon.

"Well?" Jungkook directed at Seokjin, who just shrugged and then showed him his teeth. All perfectly normal, no oversized canines in sight. Dammit.

Jungkook was no longer ninety-percent sure. Now, it was only maybe a seventy.

Trying to get Seokjin to voluntarily expose himself was not going to work. Jungkook needed to test out some things the vampire couldn't control or expect.

With a newfound gusto, Jungkook left Seokjin at the table so he could text Hoseok and ask him for a favour. Luckily, he and Hoseok had a no-questions pact dating back at least three years, and it had always served them well.

Jungkook didn’t see any reason why tonight wouldn’t be the same. 




Hoseok agreed to Jungkook’s request with a little reluctance, and told him he would show up in less than an hour. Deciding that he could move on to his next step while he waited, Jungkook approached Jimin and asked for his compact case.


  1. Check if they have a reflection in the mirror


The party was now in full swing, and many of their friends from university had arrived. Taking a quick look around the apartment told Jungkook that Seokjin was standing in the middle of the living room, talking to Taehyung animatedly. Keeping an eye on the pair, Jungkook made his way to the edge of the room before turning around and opening the cosmetic case to look behind him through the small mirror.

Rotating to-and-fro, Jungkook tried to find Seokjin’s white lab coat in the bustling apartment, but was unable to. Furrowing his brow, Jungkook moved slower, looking closely into the compact until he finally spotted Taehyung in his Mad Hatter suit, standing alone in the crowd with no doctor in sight.

Jungkook gasped softly. “No way…”

“No way what?”

Jungkook jumped and shut the case as Seokjin appeared behind him, looking over his shoulder curiously. “Nothing! I was just- in the mirror- because my whiskers- but they’re fine!”

Without looking back, Jungkook booked it across the apartment and hid in his bedroom until his heartbeat slowed down to a somewhat normal pace, both intimidated and exhilarated by the close call. He wasn’t even sure if he saw Seokjin’s reflection in the mirror or not when he came up behind him. It had all happened too fast, but the fact that Seokjin felt threatened enough to distract him was pretty damning evidence.

Jungkook’s conviction was back up to eighty percent. 




Hoseok showed up around 9 PM in a skeleton suit with a spring in his step and a flask filled with holy water in his hand. The fact that his entrance timed perfectly with Spooky, Scary Skeletons playing from Jungkook’s playlist had obviously been planned, but the crowd of their drunk friends and neighbours went insane over it anyway. Hoseok, of course, reveled in the attention and took his time moving around the room before finally reaching Jungkook who had been sitting on the couch, talking to a girl he knew from class and a whole other bunch of people he had never seen before in his life.

Jungkook sneaked off into a corner to talk to Hoseok when the elder approached him.

“Here you go,” Hoseok handed him the flask triumphantly, and Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief.

“You didn’t break into a church, did you?”

“Of course not. My uncle is a pastor, so it was quite easy to get this,” Hoseok shrugged, and then his face turned curious. “Will you still not tell me what this is for?”

“Nope,” Jungkook giggled, hugging the bottle close to his chest.

“Fair enough. This is surprisingly still not the weirdest thing you’ve asked me to do. There will always be the time you asked me to buy lube, condoms, cucumbers and a razor.”

“Hyung, that was a dare!” Jungkook exclaimed.

Hoseok looked at him suspiciously. “You were home alone.”

“Part of the dare,” Jungkook hiccuped. 

“Sure, Kookie,” Hoseok shook his head with a laugh. “Let’s get you some water,” he urged, putting an arm around Jungkook's shoulder and leading him to the kitchen. They were deep in conversation during their short walk to the fridge, but Jungkook couldn’t for the life of him remember what it was about when they reached it. He might've been more drunk that he had realized.

Jimin, Namjoon and Seokjin were standing by the drinks, and there were a few stray individuals picking on little leftover food behind them. Hoseok left Jungkook next to their friends while he got him a water bottle from the fridge.

For a second, Jungkook watched with content as the three men sang along to The Time Warp, but then he looked down at his hand and remembered what he was supposed to do.


  1. Sprinkle some holy water on them


Unscrewing the flask, Jungkook took a step forward so he could spill a few drops of the water on Seokjin’s hand and see its effects, but Jimin hip-checked into him while bellowing ‘With voyeuristic intention’ and Jungkook accidentally splashed half of the flask’s contents onto Seokjin’s torso and right shoulder.

Seokjin laughed. And then he went eerily rigid. He brought up his bicep to sniff at it, and then looked up at Jungkook with a too-wide smile. “What was in your flask? I thought it was vodka, but it doesn’t smell like alcohol.”

His expression was unnervingly even, and Jungkook felt himself sobering up under his scrutiny.

“Oh. I’m-I’m sorry. It’s just water. Do you want to take off your coat?” Jungkook asked, reaching out to touch Seokjin’s shoulder. The man grabbed his hand before he could though, and Jungkook whined at the contact. “Your hand is so cold!”

With a sudden change in demeanor, Seokjin laughed and let go. “I’m sorry, I have terrible blood circulation.”

“Blood circulation,” Jungkook repeated with a nod. Without a better thing to do, he took a swig from the flask. Hoseok, who had just returned, gave Jungkook a disgruntled look. 

“I went through all that trouble and you just wanted to drink it? Idiot,” Hoseok muttered and switched the flask with a cold bottle of water. “Please drink regular, sinful water instead.”

Jungkook chanced a look at Seokjin from the corner of his eye, but instead found his spot empty. He turned towards Jimin and Namjoon, but they were too busy dancing together to have noticed where Seokjin had gone. 

Also, Namjoon had started referring to himself as ‘Nyamjoonie-hyung’, so he was beyond gone in terms of rationality for the night.

Chugging on the water, Jungkook walked around the apartment once and danced with Taehyung for a while before spotting Seokjin exactly where he had been before. Jimin and Namjoon had disappeared from the kitchen, and Seokjin was tapping away on his phone by himself. However, a small crowd had formed beside him, presumably a bunch of sophomores who were doing body shots off one another on the table.

Taehyung shouted something over the music that Jungkook did not understand, making Jungkook turn his attention back to him. His roommate was recording a video of them to post on his Instagram story, which reminded Jungkook of the next task on his list. Admittedly, he had forgotten about it due to his inebriation and slight concern over Seokjin's whereabouts, but the reminder spurred him into back action.

A part of him felt a little apprehensive, but he easily ignored the inhibition and went to his room.


  1. Take a non-digital photograph with them


Jungkook preferred his DSLR over the hipstery gimmick that was a Polaroid camera, but his brother had gifted it to him two years ago and it had spent long enough collecting dust in Jungkook’s closet.

He grabbed the small green camera, loaded it with film and went back out to the kitchen where Seokjin was still standing by himself. Depending on the element of surprise, Jungkook darted to the taller man’s side and held the camera in front of them.

“Say cheese!”

Seokjin looked up in confusion, and Jungkook pressed on the shutter button. 

“What the-”

Quickly stepping away, Jungkook pulled at the developing photograph now protruding from the bottom of the camera and shoved it under the toaster behind, ensuring that it was upside down.

“I’m just taking pictures with everyone to commemorate this monumental night,” Jungkook clarified as an afterthought.

“Oh, take a picture with me!” a girl behind him shouted.

“Sorry, just ran out of film,” Jungkook responded over his shoulder before smiling at Seokjin, who looked more bemused than amused.

“Oh that’s too bad! Do you have limes, by the way?”

Jungkook sighed. “Stay right here,” he told Seokjin before turning around. “Yes, let me grab a couple for you.”

He retrieved a few limes from the fridge, and at noticing how the younger individuals were stumbling, decided to not let them handle a knife. Instead, he started cutting the limes on a chopping board, sobering up in the moment. He took a moment to reflect, and was disappointed to realize that all his attempts to expose Seokjin had been failed ones. He had no evidence to prove the man’s vampireness except for his own perception of Seokjin's reactions and awkward responses, which was quite baseless in retrospect. 

Was Jungkook just chasing the wind here? His confidence in his assumption had dropped below a fifty. At this point, Jungkook might just have to confess that he found Kim Seokjin attractive.

He was almost done cutting limes when a body bumped into him and pushed the tip of his knife into his index finger, which instantly began bleeding. Jungkook hissed from the twinge, exacerbated by the citric acid seeping into cut, and brought his finger up to his mouth to suck on it. To hell with whatever Namjoon had said about licking wounds.

“Fucking hell,” a voice came from behind him, an Jungkook whipped around to make eye contact with an alarmed Seokjin.

Jungkook’s own eyes widened at the realization.


  1. Expose them to fresh human blood (probably skip this one lol)


“Are you okay?” Seokjin asked, his voice tight. Jungkook nodded wordlessly. “Wait here, let me get you a bandaid. Where do you keep them?” 

“In the bathroom.”

Seokjin immediately rushed off like he couldn’t stand being in the kitchen for another moment, and Jungkook’s curiosity piqued. Someone started apologizing to him, but Jungkook just shook his head and started heading after Seokjin.

However, he had only taken a few steps before the last idea on his list creeped into his head. Against his best judgment, Jungkook made a quick stop at the pantry before heading towards the bathroom.




  1. If all else fails and they are still suspicious, expose them to garlic (Note: last resort!!)


The bathroom was tucked away in the corner of their apartment next to Jungkook’s bedroom, and the area was relatively deserted. For reasons beyond Jungkook’s comprehension at this point (perhaps morbid curiosity and extreme inebriation), Jungkook opened his bedroom’s door all the way so it was perpendicular to the bathroom entrance. He then attempted to hang a netted bag full of garlic bulbs over the top edge.

The bathroom door opened, and Seokjin stepped out. He immediately spotted Jungkook and his hand holding the bag. His eyes narrowed.

“Uh,” Jungkook swallowed. “Mistletoe?” He braced himself for violence, but was dumbfounded when Seokjin started guffawing.

“Oh my god,” he groaned into his hands through squeals of laughter. “Jeon Jungkook, what is wrong with you?”

Flushing, Jungkook dropped the bunch of garlic behind him and kicked it away with his heel for good measure.

“Oh my-” Seokjin gasped for air, completely red in the face, and finally looked Jungkook in the eye. “God. Look, all these little tricks and traps of yours started off as cute, but this- this mistletoe is a bit too weird and a little psychotic, quite honestly. If you’re interested, instead of messing with me, you could just ask me to dance like a normal person-”

Jungkook surged up and kissed Seokjin on the mouth, who let out a surprised oomph but let Jungkook push him back into the door anyway. 

Seokjin’s hands came up to rest on Jungkook’s shoulders, a bandaid clutched in his right fist, and he hummed into the kiss as Jungkook leaned his weight against him. Seokjin opened his mouth against Jungkook’s tongue, but pulled away the moment their tongues touched.

“Did you just-” Seokjin squawked, and Jungkook stepped back sheepishly. 

“Okay, full disclosure,” Jungkook brought his palm up to press it against his forehead embarrassedly, his cheeks flushed and lips wet. “I might’ve eaten a full garlic clove like, three list items ago.”

“List items,” Seokjin deadpanned.

Screwing his eyes shut, Jungkook groaned, “A list on how to expose a vampire.”

“What the fuck,” Seokjin laughed, and Jungkook peeled an eye open to find that Seokjin almost looked impressed. “Oh god, this is going to make me sound crazy, but that somehow made you cuter.”

“Wait, really?”

“Okay, it does make me sound crazy,” Seokjin nodded, more to himself. “Unfortunately, I don’t want an itchy and swollen tongue, so-”

“What if... I got you some antihistamines,” Jungkook offered. It wasn’t possible for him to humiliate himself any more in this situation. “I could also, um, brush my teeth really quick and we could maybe continue this?”

Seokjin pressed his lips together, suppressing his smile, and considered him for a moment. “Okay, fuck it, yes. That would be great. Both of those,” he emphasized, his eyes hinting at just a tad bit of exasperation even as he was smiling really wide. There were no fangs in sight. Jungkook’s heart skipped a beat.

“Okay,” Jungkook grinned, feeling giddier than he had for the rest of the night. “Could you grab us some drinks and meet me in my bedroom? Actually, no. Wait. Taehyung-hyung and Yoongi-hyung’s bedroom.”

“Uh, why?” Seokjin asked.

“Just trust me on this. They deserve it.”

“This is the weirdest build up to a hook-up I’ve ever had,” Seokjin laughed. “Okay. I’ll see you in there.”

“I will be right there.”




It was a little past eight when Jungkook stirred awake in the morning, instantly aware of his headache and sore body.

For a moment, Jungkook could not remember what day it was, but then someone next to him shifted in his bed and his eyes snapped open.

Seokjin lay in front of him, his head resting on Jungkook’s arm, and the events of the halloween party came to Jungkook in pieces. Unsurprisingly, he had blacked out for a few parts, but he vividly remembered kissing Seokjin, getting caught making out in his roommates’ bedroom by an exasperated Yoongi, and returning to his bedroom in fits of laughter.

He remembered Seokjin pinning him against the door and holding him up against the wall, seating Seokjin down on his table and blowing him, and most importantly, getting thoroughly fucked into his mattress. He distinctly remembered having an orgasm, as well.

(He also vaguely remembered a flash of begging Seokjin to give him hickeys, but it was too muddled for him to consciously fixate on it.)

Their guests were lucky that they had loud music playing last night to shield them from the sounds from his bedroom.

Overall, it had been a pretty great party, but now Jungkook was hungover and dehydrated as fuck.

With a groan, he untangled his limbs from Seokjin’s and forced himself to sit up. His head spun, and he focused on a red splotch on Seokjin’s shoulder until his vision cleared.

God, Jungkook was never going to drink again. He meant it this time.

With every last iota of willpower in his possession, Jungkook slipped out from under the covers and stepped onto the cold floor, spotting his underwear in the corner and pulling it on slowly.

On a whim, he went up to his window and peeled back the curtain to peer outside, but instantly regretted it as the bright sunlight blinded him. Behind him, Seokjin agreed in the form of a grunt and pulling the covers over his face, mumbling incoherently.

Endeared, Jungkook chuckled and repositioned the curtains to plunge the room back into relative darkness before stepping out into the living room.

Their apartment looked like it was hit by a hurricane, which was better than expected, honestly. Stepping over the cobwebs, solo cups and sticky stains, Jungkook made his way to the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge which he chugged in four seconds. 

He contemplated making coffee, but decided against it, opting to try and go back to sleep instead. That way, he might be able to sleep through the cleanup as well.

When he turned to leave, a white sliver under the toaster caught Jungkook’s attention, and he paused to inspect it.

He pulled at what turned out to be the white border of a polaroid, and remembered how he had stowed it under the toaster last night. With a hum, he turned the photograph over, and his eyes widened at the sight.

In the picture, he saw himself grinning with their kitchen counter in the background, but there was no sign of Seokjin beside him. 

Jungkook squinted at the photo in confusion, and then it hit him.

“Holy shit.”

His head whipped towards his closed bedroom door in panic, and the sharp movement made him cognizant of a twinge in his neck. Jungkook felt the blood drain from his face.

With apprehension, Jungkook waddled to the bathroom and turned the light on. His reflection stared back at him with wide eyes, and then his gaze dropped lower to his neck to find little puncture wounds all over his throat and collarbones. 

“Holy shit.”

“Good morning, little bunny,” a voice came from behind him, making Jungkook jump. There was no one standing by the bathroom door in the mirror’s reflection, but when Jungkook turned around, surely enough, Seokjin stood right there, leaning against the doorframe.

Seokjin, who was shirtless and grinning at him, sharp fangs on display from where they pressing into his bottom lip.

“Holy shit.”