He wanted to be angry, to take that insufferable duke by his collar and shove his head through a wall. He had been tricked and disgraced, forced by some rat of a man into a marriage not of his choosing, and a battle he didn’t want to fight. It wasn’t his first time being pushed into a corner by some abusive authority. Each instance he turned his back or cut them down without hesitation. This time was rare. This time the duke could lord his own existence over him, his own life would be his ruin if he did not comply. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, and a black hole in his heart to follow the whims of that despicable man. Loid had been keen on spending out his days as a wandering swordsman, living as he pleased. The restrictions of marriage and conscription were the two things he had wanted to avoid.
But now in front of him was a symbol of his future suffering, a woman with skin so pale and unmarred she glowed. Black locks contrasted her pure image with their silken beauty, dark as night. Her eyes...he had found himself attracted to them even if he tried to pry his own away. Their red hue was alluring, begging him to come closer, they searched his soul and broke him down to his very essence. He had not been curious in a very long time, but this woman made him want to know more.
Yor Briar was first presented to him the day of their wedding. The exact second she walked through the cathedral doors, bouquet in hand, arm in arm with her father, he was addicted.
She never once smiled at him, her eyes always gazing longingly at the floor instead of up toward his. It made him angry, or at least a variation of the emotion. He did not let the frustrations he was hiding break through his mask, Loid made sure his vows were terse and impersonal. There was a beautiful woman in front of him, his woman, his wife, and she would not even offer him a semblance of a glance. Loid would not hurt her, however his patience grew thin. She was his reward after all, the one thing he had gained from that bastard Duke Briar. He expected he would’ve needed to avoid any daughter of his, if Yor had been anything like her father he might have considered treason.
The woman he had married was the opposite of his expectations. She was not spoiled or pompous, only wearing a modest gown to her own wedding. Her beauty was all natural, not conjured from a pot of powder or falsified through magic. He despised loud and stubborn women, they only served to aggravate his every nerve, while Yor was his ideal. She was reserved, though to the point of trembling in his presence, and independent enough to not cling to him like a desperate dog begging for scraps.
Somehow she had managed to be ignorant to every duty of a married couple. Short conversations and sparse eye contact were nothing to Loid, but she actively avoided him when it came to any matter involving their marriage. It was only when prompted that she came to address him before formally retiring to their bed. Had she expected to marry him and not speak a word? Marriage was nothing without consummation and consistency. Somehow Loid, who remained serious over the matter, had married a wildly irresponsible woman. However his woman was still his. His until death do them part.
Before him she had been readied for their first night as a couple, fresh from the bath. If Yor were ignorant to what was to come next the handmaids who prepared her were not. She was glowing a soft red, cheeks flushed and lips parted.
She was so utterly his.
And Loid knew he had to take this chance, he might never be able to see her like this ever again. He dared to stroke his noblewoman’s cheek with his hand, a hand that had been sullied by bloodshed countless times. Yor flinched away, eyes shut, but not once did she tell him to stop. His noblewoman was undoubtedly ashamed of him, no matter what he did she looked firmly into the distance. She was previously destined for marriage to another man of status and he had taken that away. Loid knew it was sick, but he took pride in her corruption, never again would a man besides him touch her like this.
Loid grasped her chin in his large hand. He steadied her before guiding their lips together, forming the first of many burning kisses.
He raised his hand to her waist, grasping the slim line of her figure from over her tunic. It was a soft material, foreign to the hands of a hardened warrior. Not once did he break eye contact, his wife continued to tremble under his gaze, even leaning into his hand for balance no matter how much she must despise him.
Loid would not pretend to have tact, in fact he didn’t even desire it in this situation. “Our marriage will be considered invalid if we do not consummate it tonight. Do you or do you not want to?” His words were rough, bitingly so, but he knew his meek wife would not answer him without a demand.
He looked to her expectantly and she met him with an aghast expression. Of course this duke’s daughter would never want to dirty herself with a commoner. Her cheeks shone red in the dim candlelight, even her lips were slightly swollen, beckoning him to attack once more. The atmosphere was fumes to his instincts, but he at least had enough honor left to wait for her answer. To his surprise she nodded, small and nervously but it was there.
“We cannot stop if we go ahead now. Are you sure?”
Her eyes are wide, lips pressed together, but she was no longer shaking like a leaf. It’s not much but it’s promising. If she concedes now Loid knows he will not be able to stop himself. The fearful expression on her face doesn’t deter his lust in the slightest, in fact seeing her this disheveled in front of him only causes him to desire her even more.
She nods a second time and he is grasping her tightly once more.
There is nothing left besides his rushing emotions and the woman in front of him. Yor squeaked under his tight grasp, but Loid couldn’t help but hold her even closer. She was so innocent yet every little action of her’s set his nerves on fire. Slowly he guided her over to the bed, making sure to leave no inch of her face unkissed. His lips left hers and Yor was breathing heavily, the gentle rise and fall of her chest increased her seductive power on him. Somehow she had managed to become even more beautiful in the time he had closed his eyes.
“Haa-” She gasped out, her body seized as he tried to maneuver her onto the bed. She was so light, saying she was frail would be a disgrace to her character, but picking her up was child’s play. It was dangerous, that sultry expression of hers, she must have a least some knowledge of its effects on him. She managed to struggle slightly, an automatic response, before she settled into the sheets. Her hair formed a radiant halo around her, framing her face and setting a target for him to claim.
The atmosphere was intoxicating. Loid immediately buried himself into her chest, almost overwhelmed with the sight in front of him. The fabric of her tunic rubbed against his cheek, but it could not distract him from the swell of her chest underneath. Her arms braced against his shoulders but not once did she cry out in protest. One of Loids hands crept under her clothing, taking care to brush lightly over her skin, just enough to verify that the goddess in front of him was real. His other hand was much more aggressive. He stole a passionate kiss from the lips of his wife, creating an opening for him to grasp her hand. Loid pinned it into the plush sheets at her sides, not once distracting himself from his mission.
His body was moving on his own, it was almost embarrassing how little control he had over his own actions. Out of pure instinct his hips closed the gap between him and his wife, his knee pressed down between her legs, locking her into him. Even his hands grew impatient, he edged the fabric away from her form, slowly revealing more and more of her leg. Yor yelped underneath him, surely shocked, but he could not be stopped. He knew he shouldn’t be flustered but he could feel the heat first nipping at his neck, then traveling lower. Her tunic was completely pushed up to her collar bones now, giving Loid a complete view of her breasts.
There are no words imaginable to accurately describe the sight. All Loid could do was push himself onward while internally cursing himself out. How lucky that he, an orphan bastard, would be the first and only man to ever view such a sight.
Momentarily he let go of her hand, too preoccupied by his own luck. Yor stole the chance to cover her eyes, embarrassment finally overflowing. When she finally peaked through her fingers he was busy undoing his belt, the damn thing could not come off quick enough.
Loid threw it to the side, first he would focus on his wife.
His fingers were cold as they dusted over her exposed chest. He worked swiftly and completely off instinct, licking a trail between her breasts. She gasped and writhed underneath him, only inciting his desire for her more. Her eyes were shut tightly, her mouth slightly agape-- Loid felt like teasing her.
“Look at me wife,” he maintained eye contact once more. She was hesitant, but she would not refuse him.
As soon as their eyes met one of his hands roamed to her core, only gently touching her there before her back arched underneath him. Her eyes squeezed shut and a stilted moan left her lips. He needed more.
Loid could not be stopped from touching her, taking her in whole. Her facial expressions, her body’s reactions when he rubbed over her heat, all of it was intoxicating. And it was having an effect like none other on himself.
He had restrained himself up to this point, she still seemed barely used to him, her husband of half a day, but he could no longer hold back. His belt still lay on the floor next to the bed, only a couple of garments were left in his way.
First he rid himself of his shirt, rising into a kneeling position over his wife. Removing his hands from her was tougher than anything he had faced thus far. She looked up to him with wide eyes in confusion, just a few more seconds and he would have her.
His tunic was discarded with haste, the only thing stopping him from continuing was the nervous look on Yor’s face. He caressed her cheek to reassure her and she leaned into this touch. It was enough for him to realize he could resume.
Loid reached for his pants, lowering them over his hips. His precious embarrassed wife could not meet his eyes and reddened more than he thought humanly possible. He chuckled to himself, distracting her with his words.
“Do not worry, you’ll have plenty of time to get used to me.”
Yor stopped dead in her tracks but did not notice he had removed his pants and undergarments. He bent over her, taking her by surprise. He crushed his lips against hers just once before grasping her hips. Loid leaned back, taking the full view in. Yor covered his eyes but he would not stop to reassure her anymore, primal instincts had taken over his reasoning.
She yelped when he lifted up her hips, she sunk her shoulders further back into the plush bedding, an attempt at keeping her grounded. Loid had no intentions of picking her up fully, just enough to bring her hips to his.
They were aligned, his breath was heavy, all of the hours between now and the exchanging of their vows lead up to this moment. Under his breath he thanked god, and thrusted into her.
He let out a loud grunt. Loid was in pure bliss, the woman surrounded him, the feeling was like none other. Yor arched her back underneath him and let out a mewling noise of her own. Loid was coherent enough to see tears forming in the corners of Yor’s eyes and hear her tone was laced with pain.
He would not speak, he didn’t have it in him to form sentences and appreciate the pleasure all at once. He cared though, the second time he buried himself into her heat he was much slower. Still Yor continued to make lewd noises underneath him, letting a few tears flow in arcs from her eyes to the ground. Loid tried to reach out one hand, to comfort her, brush away her tears, but she grasped it in her own. Yor squeezed his hand for dear life, he could not retract it now. She was caught up in the moment, but the small display of touch resonated throughout Loid’s chest.
This woman really was his wife.
He gripped her hand back, whether it was to dispel her worries or keep himself sane he could not tell. Involuntarily he picked up his pace, gauging Yor’s response from the pressure on his hand. She no longer was hanging on to him for dear life, there was constant force from her grip, but she did not tell him to stop.
Their bodies were slick, connecting over and over again for what felt like hours and mere seconds at the same time. His breath was ragged, but the sight of her body aroused him more and more by the minute. Yor arching with each stroke. Yor gasping out his name. Yor biting her lip and gripping his hand.
She finally locked eyes with him, opening them for the first time without him demanding to do so. Her eyelashes were long and glistened with tears. Seeing he was making eye contact as well she smiled. A small ghost of a smirk on her lips. Loid noticed. Oh damn he noticed.
He was a goner. Loid came with a frustrated and guttural moan. For once he shut his eyes and let himself be taken away by the moment. No woman in his life had even made him feel this safe. The boost to his ego when she blindly trusted him to take care of her had made him an addict. Just this afternoon his feelings over the meek girl were but dismissive. Now it wouldn’t be frivolous to describe what he felt as love.
He let Yor down and removed himself from her. Loid took silent satisfaction in the way her legs trembled, undoubtedly overcome with the sensations from before. Just looking at her made his heart swell with some indescribable emotion. The woman just within arms reach is his family now, his only family. It’s a weird feeling, so unfamiliar. Loid hated not being prepared.
There’s words stuck in his throat. He wants to say something. Something to break the ice and hopefully bring them a little closer. He promised himself he’d be patient and he understands she’s wary.
Yor’s expression hadn’t changed much, she’s looking off over to the side, pupils dilated and eyebrows raised.
Loid opened his mouth without a plan, just hopeful that he’d be able to converse properly. To his surprise Yor promptly turned away from him, curling into a ball on the far side of the bed, and the moment was ruined. All of the bliss Loid had let himself be carried away by burnt to the ground. This woman did not like him, she probably hated him now more than ever. His status would never be enough for such a high born girl as herself. He closed his mouth, feeling that an utter fool. He felt his eyes darkening and annoyance run high.
“Tch,” fine, if she was going to turn a cold shoulder to him, he would do the same.
Loid did not spare her a glace as he shifted off the bed, reaching for his trousers. “The marriage has been consummated, you can’t get rid of me even if you wish.”
Yor made no comment.
Now halfway clothed Loid wanted to get away. “I’m going to clear my head.” He paused, a small bit of compassion leaking through his defenses, “please make sure to get some sleep, your handmaid will be here in the morning to take the sheets.”
No comment from his wife again.
Loid wanted to quip back with something else, desperate for a reaction from the woman he had just been the closest possible to. It would only make it worse, but he would not be clearing his head. He was to prepare for battle. Yor had no such prior knowledge, he couldn’t have found the right time to tell her, she avoided him as much as possible. In his heart he had hoped to say something to his wife, enough to make her think about him while he was away. It was hopeless, he couldn’t find the words around her, being with Yor made him lose himself entirely.
He has to leave, he must. But his wife is lying asleep in that bed, the bed they are supposed to be sharing together. Loid cannot help but recall her lingering touch and wants.