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Lightning in a Bottleneck

Summary:

Before Gravesen, there were still seizures. But there were also trips to the family cabin courtesy of Mor and Far, pranks courtesy of Loki, and playful insults courtesy of Hela. Before epilepsy, however, was all of those things, minus a few brain-storms.

Notes:

I think we all need something comparatively fun after the hellscape of Natasha's prequel. So, I present to you the prequel of one Thor Odinson! Personally, I view this prequel as the Ragnarok of this universe. It's unexpectedly fun and nonsensical while also tackling some important topics. Thor is also the only MCU character in this universe who canonically has siblings, so you know I really went to town with all the family fluff. I am the oldest of three children, so I drew on a lot of my own family dynamics in writing this. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Yggdrasil

Chapter Text

"Loki!"

Thor fumed, looking at the empty husk of what had once been his dresser. Not a single drawer remained, and even if he didn't know where they went, he knew exactly who took them. Fenris, their solid black elkhound, trotted in to investigate Thor's shouting and started barking at the now-unfamiliar piece of furniture. He turned his piercing green eyes to Thor, barked at him accusingly, and trotted back out.

"What's he done this time?" Mor asked calmly. They'd long passed the phase where Thor or Hela angrily shouting their little brother's name caused any legitimate concern in Odin and Frigga.

"He took all the drawers out of my dresser and hid them somewhere," Thor explained.

"Why don't you ask him to tell you where they went?"

"He won't. He'll make me look for them like it's a stupid game."

"Ask him to help you look."

"Why can't you just make him give them back?"

"Oh, looks like he's back," Odin said. Thor blinked several times and stared in confusion at his father who had seemingly appeared instantaneously.

"What—How'd you get there so fast?" he questioned.

"Thor, you just zoned out," Mor informed him. "You were just standing there blinking at us for thirty seconds."

"I was? That's weird. So are you going to punish Loki?"

"He's just having a little fun. He wants to spend time with you, you know," Mor said.

"I know, but he doesn't need to steal my stuff to do that. I'd much rather play outside like normal brothers."

"Well, go find your drawers, and then you can go play outside. But don't forget to pack, we leave for the cabin tomorrow."

"Fine," Thor huffed. He found Loki in the living room, nose buried in a book. Loki immediately looked up in excitement and slammed the book shut.

"Did you see what I did?" he asked eagerly.

"Yes. Now tell me where you hid my drawers so I can put them back where they belong and start packing."

"No. You have to find them."

"I figured you'd say that. Let's go, you're looking for them with me."

"Okay!" Loki chirped. Thor sighed and set off towards where he knew Loki's favorite hiding spots were. He began with under Loki's bed in the room that they shared, then under his own bed. Nothing, though the empty dresser sat there as if to taunt him. Next he tried the closet in the hallway and again came up empty.

"Am I getting warmer?" he asked desperately when three more places he checked revealed nothing.

"You've been ice cold the entire time," Loki told him.

"Well I had to have gotten closer at some point. Where was I closest?"

"Our room."

Thor trudged back to their room and looked at the one door he hadn't yet opened: Hela's. "You did not hide my things in Hela's room, did you?" he asked.

"I'm not telling."

"That's a yes," Thor sighed. He knocked quietly on his sister's door, hoping she wouldn't answer and he could sneak in without her knowing.

"Go away," she demanded.

"Are my dresser drawers in there?" Thor asked through the door. "Loki said he hid them in your room."

"No, I don't have your stupid drawers. Loki lied to you."

"Loki, just tell me where my drawers are or I'll take yours and throw them out the window," Thor growled.

"Fine," Loki relented. "They're in Mor and Far's bathtub."

"What? Why would you put them in there?"

"Because I knew you wouldn't look there."

Thor huffed and walked into his parents' bathroom to find his drawers sitting in the tub on top of each other. Fortunately, Loki had been careful enough not to dump any of them out. One by one, he carried them back to his room and slid them back onto the rails. It took him ten whole minutes, and Loki sat on his bed and watched, giggling to himself the entire time. Once the last drawer slid back into place, Thor turned to his brother and requested he never steal his stuff again.

"I promise," Loki said. Which is exactly what he said the last hundred times he took something of Thor's, but nothing ever changed. At this point, Thor thought it was his way of showing affection. He never stole anything from Hela because he didn't like her as much. On second thought, maybe it was because he knew she would burn him alive if he so much as touched anything in her room.

"Have you packed yet?" Thor asked.

"Yep." Loki pointed to his little green suitcase in the corner.

"Did you forget anything?"

"How would I know?"

"Good point."

Loki dashed back to the living room and returned with the book he'd been reading, stretching out on his bed like a cat while Thor decided what to pack first for their trip to the cabin. He adored their cabin. Though the cable was even less reliable than Loki's promises, it didn't matter in the least. Thor couldn't remember a single trip where he'd actually done anything inside the cabin besides sleep. All his excitement towards spending time at the cabin stemmed from everything to do outside. During the winter, they tore up the ski slopes and cross country trails, and during the summer they kayaked, fished, and swam all day long. If Mor never called him ashore to eat or go to bed, Thor thought he could probably stay out twenty four hours a day for the entire trip.

The only downside was the drive.

Loki only lasted three of the eight to nine hour drive before he grew restless, and a restless Loki, especially one seated in between his two older siblings in the backseat of a car, was highly annoying. "Are we there yet?" he asked for the fifth time in the past forty minutes.

"No, but I promise I will inform you when we do arrive," Far said. It took a lot to try his patience, but nobody was better at it than Loki. The only time Thor managed to upset their father was when he tried something overly risky on the ski slopes. Loki blew a raspberry and slumped in his seat.

He turned to Thor and asked, "Want to play twenty questions?"

Having nothing better to do, Thor agreed. "You go first."

"Okay." He paused to think for a moment. "Got it."

"Is it an animal?"

"No."

"Is it a food?"

"No."

"Is it an object?"

"Yes."

"Is it…bigger than a piano?"

"Definitely not."

"Okay, is it bigger than Fenris?"

"No."

"Is it used as a tool?"

"Yes."

"Is it a knife?"

"Yes! How'd you guess that so quickly?" Loki questioned.

"Because every single time we play this game, you choose a knife."

"Not true!"

"Name one other thing you've picked for twenty questions."

"Uhhh…"

"See? You can't. Because you always pick knife."

"And you always pick hammer," Loki countered.

"Good job, you guessed mine! Now can we be done playing?"

"Fine."

The silence lasted only ten minutes before Loki asked once again if they were there yet. Hela elbowed him to shut up, he complained, and Mor scolded all three of them, even though Thor hadn't done anything wrong at all. He rested his head on his hand and stared out the window at the passing scenery. Another four hours passed before he began to recognize the area.

Their cabin was situated just north of Ålesund in small, isolated fishing village, not one of the famous ones overrun with tourists, so it was quiet but for the gentle lapping of the water against the rocks and the occasional cry of a sea eagle. The mountains where they skied rose behind it and the fjord opened up before it into a vast expanse of crystal blue water. Fenris bounded out of the car, eager to stretch his legs after being cooped up for so long. They'd left at the crack of dawn, so there was plenty of daylight left for swimming.

"Thor, help your father unload before you dash off," Mor instructed. Thor grumbled, but he knew he'd never get away with not helping. He accepted the luggage that Far handed him from the trunk and carried it into the cabin. The front door creaked loudly the way it always did, opening into a narrow hallway with both walls covered in hooks they used for winter coats or wetsuits depending on the season. Thor trudged into the living room with its old green couch beneath a shelf containing old pots and books. He smiled at the wooden chair hanging on the wall—Mor and Far refused to explain why it was there even though Thor asked every time. Turning away from the kitchen, he set his things down in the single bedroom that all five of them shared. It would have been cramped if they spent too much time in there, but most of the time everyone was tired enough from a day of adventuring that they fell asleep within minutes of putting their heads to pillows. Thor took the bottom bunk and pulled out the trundle for Loki, knowing Hela would demand the top as she always did. She liked being over everyone, and Thor wasn't about to argue with her.

They'd barely been here five minutes before he threw on a wetsuit and ran for the fjord. "Life jacket!" Mor called, tossing the vest after him. Thor caught it and strapped it on as he ran, not wanting to waste a second. Hela rolled her eyes at his enthusiasm, but she wasn't far behind, toting a paddleboard from the shed with Fenris trotting at her heels.

He dove off the dock without hesitation, letting the refreshing chill of the water invigorate his muscles after hours of inactivity on the ride up here. Despite his hatred of the long drive, it was beyond worth it. Thor felt more at home in the Norwegian sea than in most other places. He watched as Hela set the paddleboard in the water and held it steady for Fenris to climb aboard. The dog sat ramrod straight in his usual spot towards the front and wagged his tail eagerly.

Loki, who'd taken a little longer to get ready, paused on the edge of the dock. To the untrained eye, one might think he was scared to get in the water, but Thor knew better. The kid never jumped in without first saying something stupidly dramatic. Today he avowed, "I am Loki, and I am burdened with glorious purpose," and promptly leapt in. He landed in the perfect place to soak Hela with his splash.

"Watch it," she growled. Fenris growled to back her up. Loki bobbed back to the surface and stuck his tongue out at her. Hela rolled her eyes and paddled away, flicking water back at Loki as she passed. He was already soaking wet, so he didn't care, and he paddled eagerly over to where Thor was floating.

"Want to conspire to flip her overboard?" he asked with a familiar glint in his eye.

"Not unless you want six to be the last year you see," Thor said darkly.

"Don't be a coward."

"You need to stop reading. You're learning too many big words." Seriously, burdened with glorious purpose? Where the hell had he learned that phrase? Regardless, Thor bristled at being called a coward by his little brother. That was one thing he never wanted to be. So, he agreed. "We need to get Fenris off first, or he'll hear us coming and alert her. Can you provide a distraction?"

"Definitely."

"Good. You draw the dog away and I'll sneak up and flip her," Thor plotted. It wouldn't work the other way around because Loki wasn't physically big enough to flip a paddleboard. Plus, he was inexplicably skilled when it came to creating distraction. Loki swam back towards the dock and climbed out while Thor swam as quietly as possible towards Hela.

"Moose!" Loki cried. "Fenris, there's a moose!"

The dog's ears perked up and he fixed those unnatural dark green eyes on Loki pointing towards the opposite side of the cabin. With a woof, he jumped off the board and swam for the dock, paying no attention to Thor as he passed him. Hela was pissed that Fenris had abandoned her, but they all knew that nothing could draw his attention away if he suspected moose were nearby. She rolled her eyes and stopped paddling long enough to watch Fenris make it to shore. Which gave Thor just enough time to reach the board. He quickly checked to make sure Loki was watching and surged out of the water, throwing himself across the paddleboard and wrapping his hands around the opposite edge.

"Thor! Don't you—" Hela didn't get a chance to finish her warning before Thor dug his feet into the near end of the paddleboard and yanked the far side towards him, dumping Hela unceremoniously into the water. She popped back up, wet hair obscuring half her face, but Thor could see the murderous expression on the other half. He started swimming away, knowing if she caught up to him he'd face less-than-desirable consequences. "I'm gonna kill you," she swore.

"No killing!" Far called from the dock.

"No killing!" Loki repeated. He jumped back in the water and headed towards Thor to offer backup if Hela got to him. Thor could swim pretty fast, but Hela was a full twenty centimeters taller than him. Her hand grabbed the back of his life jacket and the next thing Thor knew he was underwater. She held him there not nearly long enough for him to drown, but he got the message.

He popped up and discovered Loki had climbed onto her back, when just a moment ago he'd been just beyond the dock. How did he get there so fast? Both of them were staring at him like he'd come back from the dead. "He's back, he's back," Hela panted, sounding relieved.

"What happened?"

She splashed him angrily. "You did that thing again! I thought I'd killed you!"

"I blanked out?" Thor was beginning to recognize that whenever things happened in the blink of an eye like that, it actually meant he'd zoned out for a few seconds and the world continued without him perceiving it.

"Yes, you idiot! Don't you ever scare me like that again!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't do it on purpose," he said.

"Well don't do it again."

"I'll try."

"Good. Now that I got you back, there's still one juksemaker who hasn't paid for what they've done," she said menacingly.

"Wait!" Loki called from his perch on her back, but he was too late. Hela threw herself backwards and dunked him.