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Frozen songfic parodies

Chapter Text

(We see the mechanist and several other members of the labor union working on weapons, pounding on their hammers to the beat of the music.)

Inhabitants of the fire nation:

Born of heat and summer air
And mountain rain combining...
This fiery force both foul and fair
Has a burning heart worth mining

(They drag giant spears through the workshop.)

So cut through the heart, hot and warm
Strike for love and strike for norm
See the beauty, sharp and sheer
Split the flames apart!
And break the burning heart

Hyup! Ho! Watch your step! Let it go!
Hyup! Ho! Watch your step! Let it go!

(The mechanist tries to keep up with his employees as Fire Lord Zuko watches from afar with a sharp glare.)

Beautiful!
Powerful!
Dangerous!
Hot!

(A heavy shield overtakes one the workers as he carries it over to a cart.)

Fire has a magic, can't be controlled.
Stronger than one! Stronger than ten!
Stronger than a hundred men!

(Horses pull a cart of swords and arrows.)

Hyup!

Born of heat and summer air
And mountain rain combining!
This fiery force both foul and fair
Has a burning heart worth mining!

(The sun has set. the tension rises.)

So cut through the heart, hot and warm
Strike for love and strike for norm
See the beauty, sharp and sheer
Split the flames apart!
And break the burning heart...

(Prince Zuko addresses his warriors)

Zuko: At daybreak...we attack!

Chapter Text

(Hiro skips up to the windows and brightens to the light of a new day. He walks up to Tadashi's laboratory door.)

Hiro: (giggles) Tadashi? (knocks)
Do you want to build a robot?
Come on, let's go and play!
I hardly see you anymore.
Come out the door,
It's like you've gone away!

(He starts to placing a screw into a toy robot before he gives up.)

We used to be best brothers,
And now we're not.
I wish you would tell me why!

(He calls through the door again.)

Do you want to build a robot?
Is it a battle robot?
Tadashi: No, Hiro.
Hiro: Well, good-bye.

(In the lab, Tadashi starts putting the finishing touches on Baymax. He activates.)

[Speech]
Tadashi: (gasps)

Baymax: Hello, I am Baymax.
Tadashi: It works.
Both: And hello to you too.

(Their hands make contact with one another. Hiro is outside the door again with a skateboard.)

Hiro: (laughs, knocks)
Do you want to build a robot?
Or ride our skateboards down the streets?
I think some company is overdue,
I've started talking to the random people I meet!

(He skates past Fred's mansion, and Fred waves back at him through the window.)

(Hey there, Fred.)

(But then we find Hiro, walking through a crowd of strangers in the downtown area, frightened of being taken away.)

It gets a little scary,
All these crowded places,
Just watching the hours tick by...
(tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock)

(In the lab, Tadashi is teaching Baymax how to clean a wall, which is stained with blue liquid.)

[Speech]
Tadashi: It looks messy! Could you clean it please?!
Baymax: Getting upset only makes it worse. Calm down.
Tadashi: Thank you. I am satisfied with my care.

(Hiro slides past the lab without stopping and throws himself into the arms of Tadashi.)

Hiro: See you at the showcase.

(Later, Baymax performs a saikeirei in front of Tadashi.)

Baymax: Do you have to go?
Tadashi: You'll be fine, Baymax.

[Instrumental break]

(The showcase goes off without a cinch, or so Tadashi thinks. He finds a time bomb underneath a tablecloth and it explodes in his face. At his funeral, Hiro, dressed in black, looks small as he stands in front of his friends and family. After everyone else has gone home, Hiro stands alone by the grave.)

Hiro: (feels the grass) Tadashi?
Please, I know you're in there.
People are asking how I've been.
They say, "have courage" and I'm trying to.
I want to be with you,
Please let me in.

(He slides down to his knees and sits down with his back against the grass.)

We'll only have each other,
Just you and me.
What am I gonna do?

(Weak and internal, he sobs.)

Do you want to build a robot? (Sighs)

(Inside the coffin, Tadashi is sitting in the exact same pose as Hiro, suspended in the grief of darkness.)

Chapter Text

(In her bedroom, Rapunzel sits up with a major bedhead in her hair. She looks out the window, wide awake in excitement.)

Rapunzel: It's my birthday today!

(She bursts out of the room, swinging Pascale around as she slides along the floor of the tower in her bare feet.)

Rapunzel:
The window is open!
But where's the door?
I didn't know there was one anymore!
Who knew I owned eight sets of paint and books...?

(She looks out the window, ready to see the world around her.)

For years I've roamed this empty room,
Why have a life of gloom and doom?
Finally, I've opened up the world!

(She hesitates in getting down as Pascale climbs onto her left shoulder.)

I'll see actual real live people,
It'll be totally strange.
But wow! Am I so ready for this change!

(Rapunzel hits the high note as she jumps down from the tower and into the arms of Flynn Rider.)

'Cause for the first time in forever,
There'll be music, there'll be light!
And for the first time in my life,
I'll be dancing through the night...
Don't know if I'm elated or fussy,
But I'm somewhere in that zone!
'Cause for the first time in forever...And for the first time in my life...
I won't be alone.

I can't wait to meet everyone! (gasp) What if Flynn is... THE ONE?

(In Corona, she dances around the fountain,)

Tonight, imagine me gown and all,
Fetchingly draped against the hall.
The picture of sophisticated grace...
Ooh!

(She images Flynn in royal garb ala Prince Hans.)

I suddenly see Flynn standing there,
A beautiful stranger, tall and fair.
I want to shine some sunlight in my face...!

(Her hair glows.)

But then, we laugh and talk all evening,
Which is totally bizarre.
Nothing like the life I've led so far!

For the first time in forever,
There'll be magic, there'll be fun.
For the first time in my life,
I could be noticed by someone...
And I know it is totally crazy,
To dream I'd find romance...
But for the first time in forever...And for the first time in my life
At least I've got a chance.

(We focus on Flynn, who is having an existential crisis, if not a nervious brakedown.)

Flynn:
(Inhales) Don't let them in,
Don't let them see,
Be the good guy
I always had to be.
Conceal, and feel,
Put on a show...
Make one wrong move,
And everyone will know.

But it's only for today.

(Rapunzel's excitement and Flynn's nerves are intertwined.)

Rapunzel:
It's only for today!

Flynn:
It's agony to wait.

Rapunzel:
It's agony to wait!

Flynn:
Tell the guards to open up... the gate!

Rapunzel:
The gate!

(Rapunzel and her parents, the rulers of Corona, are reunited.)

For the first time in my life, and for the first time in forever,

Flynn:
Don't let them, don't let them see me...

Rapunzel:
I'm getting what I'm dreaming of.

Flynn:
Be the good guy you always have to be...

Rapunzel:
A chance to change my boring world,

Flynn:
Conceal...

Rapunzel:
A chance to find true love...

Flynn:
Show my feel,
Don't let her know!

(Rapunzel and Flynn hurry over to the balcony of her new bedroom.)

Rapunzel:
I know it all ends tomorrow,
So it has to be today!
'Cause for the first time in my life...
For the first time in forever...

Nothing's in my way!

(Rapunzel has just realized that she is standing, arms upward, in front of an appeasing crowd, they applaud at her preformance and she gives a bow.)

Chapter Text

(Nod and Mary Katherinelie on a leaf outside of Moonhaven, in silence with no one in sight.)

Mary Katherine: Okay, can I just, say something crazy?

Nod: I love crazy!

Mary Katherine: All my life has been a series of neglect in my face
And then suddenly I bump into you...

Nod: I was thinking the same thing! 'Cause like...,
I've been searching my whole life to find my own place
And maybe it's Ronin talking or the slugs of the moon

Mary Katherine: But with you...
Nod: But with you

Nod: I found my place...
Mary Katherine: I see your face...

Both: And it's nothing like I've ever known before!
Love is an open door!
Love is an open door!
Love is an open door!

(They jump and and up and up some more untill the rach the top of the tree.)

Mary Katherine: With you!
Nod: With you!
Mary Katherine: With you!
Nod: With you!

Both: Love is an open door...

(They hop to another leaf.)

Nod: I mean it's crazy...
Mary Katherine: What?

Nod: We finish each other's—
Mary Katherine: Sandwiches!

Nod: Don't know what that is!

(They strut on the branches.)

Mary Katherine: I've never met someone-

Both: Who thinks so much like me!
Jinx! Jinx again!

(They do the robot in a symmetrical dance.)
Our mental synchronization
Can have but one explanation

Nod: You-
Mary Katherine: And I-
Nod: Were-
Mary Katherine: Just-

Both: Meant to be!

(Their shadows are cast against the light of the moon in different dance moves.)

Mary Katherine: Say goodbye...
Nod: Say goodbye...

Both: To the pain of the past
We don't have to feel it anymore!
(They play hide and seek on the branches.)
Love is an open door!
Love is an open door!
Life can be so much more!
(Their hands form a heart.)
Mary Katherine: With you!
Nod: With you!
Mary Katherine: With you!
Nod: With you!

Both: Love is an open door...
(He kneels down to her.)
Nod: Can I say something crazy?
Will you marry me?

Mary Katherine: Can I say something even crazier? Yes!

(Nod smiles, the first ever marraige between a human and a leafman has been established.)

Chapter Text

(After the prologue of Rise of the Guardians, we find (not-so) little Jack Frost in his colonial outfit, crying his eyes out from not being seen as he struggles through the forest at night.)

Jack:

The snow glows wide on a lake tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
and it looks like I'm the King

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't be believed, Manny knows I tried

I want to let them in, I want them to see me
As the good boy I always had to be
I want them to feel, and if they can't know

(He throws his staff in the air, twirling.)

I'll make them know!

(He shoots out ice magic with his hands in three different directions and creates a snowman in front of three boys.)

Let it go! Let it go!
Can't hold it back anymore!
Let it go! Let it go!
Turn away and slam the door!
I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway

(Jack lets his cloak fly off into the wind and creates a viaduct of ice over a crevasse in Antarctica.)

It's funny how some distance
makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
can't get to me at all!
It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
And no responsibilities!

(Jack skates over the viaduct.)

Let it go! Let it go!
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go! Let it go!
You'll always see me fly
Here I stay, and here I stand
Let the storm rage on

(Jack slams his right foot down and a timelapse ensues as he creates multitute of winter weather.)

My power furies through the errands to the crowd
My soul is spiraling in frozen factors all around
And one thought crystallizes like a mighty blast

(Standing firmly against the storm, he creates a beautiful snowflake and throws it into the clouds.)

I'm never going back, the past is in the past!

(Jack tousles his hair, in the process creating a blue hoodie and a pair of blue jeans made of ice.)

Let it go! Let it go!
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go! Let it go!

(He struts out onto a ledge and into the light, full of freedom.)

That perfect boy is gone!
Here I stand in the light of day...
Let the world believe!
Alone never bothered me anymore

(The timelapsed has stopped and Jack walks away and into the human world of the present.)

Chapter Text

(After the events of Gift of the Night Fury, Hiccup is alone by the fireplace with Toothless resting beside him as he sings to the Night Fury with no instrument.)

Hiccup: Dragons are better than people
Toothless, don't you think that's true?

Toothless (In Dragonese): Yeah, people will beat you
and damn you and cheat you
Every one of them's bad except you

Hiccup: Oh, thanks buddy
But people think better than Dragons
Toothless, don't you think I'm right?

Toothless (In Dragonese): That's once again true,
for all except you

Hiccup: You got me, let's call it a night

Toothless (In Dragonese): Good night

Hiccup: Don't let the Red Death bite

(The fire goes out, and both the boy and his dragon are fast asleep.)

Chapter Text

(During Frosty's introduction to the thermometer we see him with Karen)

Karen: Do you have much experience with heat?

Frosty: Yes! But sometimes I like to close my eyes and imagine what it'll be like when summer does come. Or even a life in the North Pole, where it is winter...forever.

(In his fantasy world, Frosy walks through a grassy meadow made of snow.)

Squirrels will hum,
Kids will make snow all fun
And I'll be doing whatever snow does in winter
A pipe in my mouth,
My snow up against the south
Prob'ly getting gorgeously tanned in winter

(He lies down on a beach, sails on a boat and floats in water which turns into ice.)

I'll finally see a winter storm blow away a summer gold
And find out what happens to solid water when it gets cold

(Frosty tumbles on a beach made of snow with Karen's school-friends.)

And I can't wait to see
What my buddies all think of me
Just imagine how much cooler I'll be in winter

(Frosty and the children brake into a tap dance.)

Dah-dah, da-doo, a-bah-bah-bah bah-bah-boo

The hot and the cold are both so intense,
Put 'em together, it just makes sense!

Rrr-raht da-daht dah-dah-dah dah-dah-dah dah dah doo

(He bounces down a grassy hill.)

Winter's a good time to stay in and cuddle,
But put me in summer and I'll be a puddle...

(He looks at us.)

Not a happy snowman, FYI!

When life gets rough, I like to hold on to my dream
Of relaxing in the winter sun, just lettin' off cream

(He looks up at the sky as his friends have a picnic.)

Oh, the sky will be blue,
And you guys will be there too
When I finally do what frozen things do in summer!

Karen: I'm gonna tell him.

Professor Hinkel: Don't you dare!

Frosty: IN WINTER!

(He finishes the song with a high "C" and the kids clap their hands around him.)

Frosty: So come on! The North Pole is that away!

Chapter Text

(After Elinor eats the cake, she stumbles to her room.)

Elinor: Merida, you should go. Protect me from this illness.

(Merida struggles to take Elinor to her chambers.)

Merida: You don't have to protect me. I'm not afraid!
Please don't shut me out like this.
Please don't slam the door.
You don't have to keep your distance anymore

(They arrive in her bedroom.)

'Cause for the first time in forever,
I finally understand.
For the first time in my life,
We can fix this hand in hand.
We can face worry together!
You don't have to live in fear...
Cause for the first time in forever
I will be right here.

Elinor: Merida,
Please go back now.
Your life awaits.
Go enjoy the sun —
And play the Highland Games.

Merida: Yes, but —

Elinor: I know!
You mean well, but leave me be.
Yes, I'm sick but I'm alone and free!
Just stay away from my illness and you'll be safe from me.

Merida: Actually we're not.

Elinor: What do you mean you're not?

Merida: I get the feeling you don't know...

Elinor: What do I not know?

Merida: You are going to turn into...
A bear.

Elinor: What?

Merida: The cake you ate was... cursed.

Elinor: Cursed?

Merida: It's okay, we can just find a cure!

Elinor: No, I can't.
I — I don't know is there is one!

Merida: Sure you can! I we can!

(Slowly, but surely. Elinor changes into a bear.)

`Cause for the first time in forever,

And for the first time in my life...
Elinor: Oh ,God
I'm such a fool!
I can't be a bear!

Merida: You don't have to be afraid...
Elinor: No escape from the spell that I can't hear!

Merida: We can work this out together!
Elinor: I can't escape the curse!

Merida: We'll reverse the spell I've made!
Elinor: Merida, please, you'll only make it worse!

Merida: Don't panic!
Elinor: There's so much fear!

Merida: We'll make the sun shine bright!
Elinor: You're not safe here!

Merida: We can face this change together!
Elinor: No!

Merida: We can change this spell forever!
Elinor: I...

Merida: And everything will be all right...
Elinor: I CAN'T!

(With a growl, the spell is complete and Elinor, now completely a black bear, roars in Merida's face.)

Chapter Text

(Kenai and Denahi express their thoughts throught their roles as a hunter, and a bear respectfully.)

Kenai: I came all this way today to give us a fresh start
But now that you're like wow it's all like warm in my heart

Denahi: Well this is who I am, welcome to the real me
You have no idea how great it feels to be free

Kenai: We've been falling out for way too long, so let's forget and fill the scribe

Denahi: And forget who's wrong

Both: Okay!

Denahi: Why don't you stay, there's room for family in my tribe

Both: Cause life's too short

Kenai: To always feel shut out and unloved by the brother I long to know

Both: Life's too short

Denahi: To never let you see who I am, the true hunter of the bears and snow

Kenai: Wohohooo

Both: I never understood, but now I do
Life's too short to miss out on a brother like you

Kenai: So you'll come back, then.

Denahi: Back?

Kenai: To make me a man again, I'm a bear, no one can me me a boy again?

Denahi: Oh.

Kenai: Sooo...

Denahi: I don't believe you!

Kenai: What?! I just assumed that you would have to...

Denahi: Then I'll shove on the gloves, that's how your story ends!

Kenai: It does! It's just like it was, except for we'll be best friends

Denahi: So that's in your plan to force me back in the dark!

Kenai: Whoa, whoa! Don't get upset let's get back on the same park!

Denahi: Gee, thanks for coming up to see the place
And showing off your mastery of tact and grace, okay!
Run down the hill and spill my secrets, make a full report!
Bye-bye!

Kenai: Wait!

Denahi: Cause life's too short!

Kenai: There it is! The door you'd love to slam in my face!
You did well there for a spell, but now you're back in the same place
Kill me dead if you want, but I'm the only one who is
Not one hundred percent convinced the prophecy's you!

Denahi: You can think whatever you want 'cause I don't care
You're a fool who brother's a cub!

Kenai: That is so unfair

Both: I swear I'm through with taking your unshaking brotherly support!
HAH! Life's too short!

Kenai: To let you treat the spirits up there just as coldly as you always treated me

Denahi: La la lalala laaaa

Both: Life's too short!
Denahi: To listen to a reckless fool who only ever sees the things he wants to see

Kenai: You don't know

Denahi: You have no idea

Both: What I've been through!
Because of you
Life's too short to waste another minute
Life's too short to even have you in it
Life's too short

Kenai: I've been so wrong about you

Denahi: You?! You've been so wrong about everything.

Kenai: Maybe you are the monster!

Denahi: I am NOT the monster!

(And so, the climax of the movie ensues.)

Chapter Text

Mrs. Potts: What’s the issue, dearie?
Why are you holding back from such a man?
Is it the clumpy way he walks?

Lumiere: Or the grumpy way he talks?

Fifi: Or the pear-shaped, square-shaped
Claws of his feet?

Chef Bouche: And though we know he washes
Well - he always ends up sort of smelly.

Mrs. Potts: But you’ll never meet a fellow who’s as

Mrs. Potts and Lumiere: Sensitive and sweet!
So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper,
So he’s got a few flaws.

Wardrobe: Like his peculiar brain dear,

Webster: His thing with the mirror.

Axe: That’s a little outside of nature’s laws!

Small Group of Enchanted Objects: So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper,
but this we’re certain of
You can fix this fixer-upper
Up with a little bit of love!

Beast: Can we please just
Stop talking about this?
We’ve got a real, actual problem here.

Mrs. Potts: I’ll say! So tell me, dear
Is it the way that he runs scared?

Forte: Or that he’s socially impaired?

Chip: Or that he only likes to hide out in the woods
Belle: I did not need to know that...

Lumiere: Are you holding back your
Fondness due to his hiary blondness?

Female Enchanted Objects: Or the way he covers
Up that he’s the honest goods?


All Enchanted Objects: He’s just a bit of a fixer-upper,
He’s got a couple of roses
His isolation is confirmation
Of his desperation for healing Moses
So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper,
But we know what to do
The way to fix up this fixer-upper
Is to fix him up with you!

Beast: ENOUGH! She is engaged
to someone else, okay?!

(beat)

Lumiere: So she’s a bit of a fixer-upper,

Le Plume: That’s a minor thing.

Crane: Her quote 'engagement' is a flex arrangement.

Chip: And by the way I don’t see no ring!

Male Enchanted Objects: So she’s a bit of a fixer-upper,
Her brain’s a bit betwixt.
Get the fiancé out of the way and
The whole thing will be fixed.

Mrs. Potts: We’re not sayin' you can change him,
‘Cause people don’t really change.
We’re only saying that love's a force
That's powerful and strange.
People make bad choices if they’re mad,
Or scared, or stressed.
Throw a little love their way.

Female Enchanted Objects: Throw a little love their way.

Mrs. Potts and Female Enchanted Objects: And you’ll bring out their best.

All Enchanted Objects: True love brings out their best!
Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper,
That’s what it’s all about!

Lumiere: Father!

Angelique: Sister!

Witherspoon: Brother!

All Enchanted Objects: We need each other to raise
Us up and round us out.
Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper,
But when push comes to shove.

Fife:
The only fixer-upper fixer
That can fix up a fixer-upper is

Enchanted Objects:
True! true!
True, true, true!
Love (True love)
Love, love, love, love, love
Love! (True love!)

True...

Cogsworth: Do you, Belle, take Beast to be your law-fully wedded?

Belle: Wait, what!?

Cogsworth: You’re getting married!

Enchanted Objects: Love!