After continually mulling the current situation over in her head Carmilla had come to one conclusion: she was fucked. Between the lies she told to Laura crumbling down and the truth being even worse, she couldn’t fathom coming clean. There is a small gap between the inception of a lie and the lie growing where you can take it back and explain. If you miss that window, you have to commit to the lie or be known as a liar. Carmilla had missed that window.
It wasn’t entirely her fault, she reasoned silently. In fact, she knew she couldn’t have really said anything without skewing the whole night away from where it was headed. And she needed to ride it out. With a disoriented and exasperated Laura under her fingertips, she felt more at home than ever before. The shorter girl attempted to even her breathing after the necklace affair, unaware of what had moments ago unraveled in their tightly packed dorm room. Carmilla looked into her eyes and saw warmth, she saw home. She also saw her mother.
She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. She tried to talk herself out of it, out of the visions of her mother torturing her and then the relating of that to her mother piloting the vessel of the second girl she had ever cared for.
“Carm?” Laura pleaded with her eyes and touched a black-clothed shoulder. “I’m sorry…for putting on that necklace and for being so naïve and boring and for…for not reciprocating on feelings…or acting on my reciprocal feelings because I do have those but not like a lot if you don’t…”
She knew she would have to tell her now but she kept pushing the seconds of deciding time away. It wasn’t the right moment and she had to stop the babbling before it got too out of control. Laura didn’t know when to stop and with no interruptions she flew around in her mind like an untied balloon, buzzing and humming and stopping abruptly after hitting a wall.
Carmilla slowly opened her eyes. “Cupcake,” she said smoothly. She hated the way the pet name, the kind mother used for, well, her pets, felt rolling off the tip of her tongue and hovering into the air. “You don’t have to apologize, you couldn’t have known and there’s no one to blame. But I do have to tell you something…” She trailed off. It was hard to come right out and say it.
“Is it the rest of what you tried to say before?” Laura looked up, a mix of excitement and embarrassment spread across her face. She took Carmilla’s long pale fingers into her hand and interlaced them as if they were about to begin another dance lesson. Carmilla was stopped dead in her tracks. She couldn’t think of anything more at the moment, whether it’s her mother’s evil plots or even something so basic as her own name. Or Laura’s name. Or why her conscious was clouded with the smell of flowery body wash and chocolate. Then she saw how close Laura had become. “Because I think I really want to hear the end of it.” Laura was moving closer with each beat until their lips were so close they seemed like they could feel electricity jumping between them.
At that point, it was impossible to tell who started the kiss. A slight flinch in either direction would cause them to press their mouths together and there they were. Carmilla was gentler than anyone, especially Laura, could have imagined. She had both hands on Laura’s face and despite her very obvious attraction to and yearning for Laura, she was moving so slowly and carefully through all the motions, leaving Laura to set the pace car. Laura had a hand on the back of Carmilla’s neck where she slowly dragged her nails along the delicate skin over her spine, and the other lowered the two of them into the bed.
Laura was dominating, more so than Carmilla had predicted. Carmilla had since moved her hands from the girl’s face and was alternating between holding her hips and cupping her ass to stroking a fully clothed breast. She infrequently broke the kiss but did so only to leave a trail of kisses down Laura’s neck, the side adjacent to the bite marks and bandages. Carmilla occasionally kissed the scars gently with soft and adept precision. She suckled on a soft spot of the neck, using tongue in a way that made Laura roll her head back while also making her need to hold in her temptation to feel the mouth all over her. Carmilla kissed along both of Laura’s collarbones and led kisses up her neck and to her ears. Laura moaned slightly, trying to keep her composure to prolong this session of theirs.
“Tell me what you want and I’ll do it,” Carmilla, voice dripping with seduction, whispered into Laura’s ear. She kissed the blank space behind her ear and nibbled on the lobe briefly before returning to Laura’s mouth, before she could fully answer. In between kisses, shudders, moans and whimpers, Laura made out a sentence asking Carmilla to not stop. Before she knew it, her head was on the yellow pillow and Carmilla was hovering over her. “Tell me, if you ever change your mind.”
Carmilla pulled Laura’s shirt off of her body, revealing a plain bra. In one motion, Carmilla unhooked the back snaps and starting pulling the straps down her shoulders and off her arms. Laura helped the removal of the bra and tossed it onto the floor. Carmilla looked her torso up and down, her legs straddling the outside of Laura’s hips before grabbing her face in both hands and bringing her up for a kiss. Laura’s breasts touched Carmilla’s clothed chest.
“Not fair,” Laura muttered, breaking the kiss. She gestured to the fact that Carmilla was still fully clothed. A sly smile spread across Carmilla’s face as she pulled her shirt up over her head. Her hair fell through the heck hole and landed perfectly against her thin, pale shoulders. Unsurprisingly, she was wearing a lacy black bra, that Laura worked on straight away. They kissed more, when a disgruntled Laura broke the kiss again.
“What now?” Carmilla was getting impatient. She wanted to go slow, for Laura’s sake, but the eagerness in the kisses made her believe that waiting wasn’t going to an option for Laura.
“I can’t…um…” Laura blushed. Her hand was on the black bra’s clasp and it was still firmly hooked. Carmilla laughed to herself and reached her arm around her back. She took Laura’s fingers in hers and demonstrated the proper pinching motion that can one-handedly disengage even the strongest of bras.
“Should I help you with these too?” Carmilla had a hand on the button of her tight pants. Laura nodded. Carmilla kept hoping none of this would be too forward but Laura encouraged every movement. Laura also scooted herself out of her jeans, leaving the clothes wherever they may be, strewn across the floor.
“Wow,” Laura panted. Carmilla pulled her in for a kiss once again, this time slipping her left leg between Laura’s. The kisses built, tongues that had previously been dancing across bottom lips were meeting, lips and hands that had so adamantly stayed on the face were left to wander. Carmilla had her fingers delicately playing with Laura’s nipples and she left hickeys on her neck. Carmilla worked her thigh into Laura’s clit and she moaned. The urgency of the collisions of thighs to clits contrasted to the subtlety in Carmilla’s fingers and tongue made Laura nearly cry out.
Carmilla brought her hand down the curve of Laura’s body and rested it on the girl’s hip. She pulled her thigh away from its position and fit herself between Laura’s legs. She made small circles with her fingers on the inner thigh, while continuing to kiss every inch of Laura’s torso. Laura tried to remember to breathe but every motion was choppy. She was drained and warm all over. Carmilla snuck her fingers under Laura’s underwear and continued the circles on her clit. Laura threw her head back, toes curling involuntarily. Carmilla grinned, stifling it against Laura’s neck in a flurry of kisses. Laura grabbed Carmilla’s mouth with her lips forcefully and then Carmilla could feel her release.
Carmilla brought her hand up to her own mouth and licked her fingers slowly. Laura sighed again, sweat beads on her forehead glistening. They kissed again, softly, calmly and Carmilla went to cuddle up to Laura, head on her chest. That was the first moment she noticed that Laura had her hand on the black-haired girl’s hip. In a fluid motion, Laura slipped her hand under Carmilla’s underwear.
“Laura!” Carmilla gasped. She did not expect the reciprocation to come this soon after the fact, or for Laura to be so eager.
“Huh,” Laura pondered. “It must really turn you on to see me like this.” She delicately and teasingly ran her fingers from Carmilla’s clit to her slit. Carmilla closed her eyes, and quietly let out a moan. Laura kissed Carmilla’s neck fervently and started with soft motions on and about the clitoris. Carmilla hadn’t realized how turned on she was until it was happening.
“Laura, oh God, please Laura don’t stop.” Laura smiled into a kiss on Carmilla’s neck, loving the power she seemed to have over this stoic and wise vampire. Laura led a line of kisses down Carmilla’s neck to her collarbones to her breasts then navel, all the while stroking Carmilla’s clit. On the way back up, Carmilla moaned, releasing a chest full of air and then coming. Laura kissed Carmilla softly on the lips and removed her hand from the underwear. Carmilla flipped to lie on her side so that they could be face to face in the darkened room. Carmilla pushed Laura’s hair out of her face and behind her ear. They both smiled in the silence, hearing only breathing and a heartbeat, smelling nothing but sex and chocolate.
“Hey, since when don’t you call me by some ridiculous nickname?” Carmilla had been breathing sharply, a residual autonomic response of the body during arousal. She relaxed her lungs and looked into Laura’s deep pleading eyes. She looked somewhat like a puppy and it made Carmilla smile to herself.
“Well,” she started. “I guess that I wanted you to know that you were special to me. Pet names can be used by anyone for any person. They are distancing in a way. And you’re my Laura.” Her voice was low and sultry, back to the timbre that preceded her cries of pleasure.
“Oh.” Laura blushed. Carmilla believed she could feel the heat of the girl’s rosy cheeks on her own face. “I liked the way you said it.”
Carmilla started blushing too, recounting the night’s events. Laura buried her face into Carmilla’s bare chest and murmured something that could have resembled good night. As her breaths slowed into a sleeping state, Carmilla pushed her lips into Laura’s forehead and sighed. She thought long and hard about the real reason for the switch in name and she knew what it was. She just hadn’t had the time to explain it, all of it. From the body possessing to resenting her mother for imposing the pet names into her own dialect, she didn’t want any part of it. In between Laura’s deepened breaths, she whispered “because I want to love you the right way.”